T O P
Tayreads608

I love them, but I wish they would have decided to grow up and actually do some parenting. I wish they would have figured out that they were the adults and that we were the children.


witchy_crochet

To my mom. Im sorry I hated you for so long. It wasnt hate it was fear of growing up in a way that my father painted you as. I love you and every day I learn from you. If I can be half the mom you are someday tht would be more than enough. ​ TO my father....fuck you in so many ways. Fuck your addictions and your fake recoveries. Fuck your incessant need to control everything and everyone and everyone's perception of you and our family. Fuck your lies and your manipulation. How dare you attempt to buy the love of my kids since you could not buy mine. ​ To my step dad. Thank you for beleiving me about the abuse I had endured and for trying to help me. Im sorry I was so evil to you. I was lost in my hurt from the divorce and had the whispers of my father in my ear that you were trying to replace him. ​ To my stepmom........I am so happy you are dead. Never again will I have to justify my self to you. Never again will I have to feel less than your children. Never again will I have to listen to you spew your vile hatred cloaked in the words of a being a good christian. My dad was bad before you but you turned him horrible. YOu used his own issues against him and poisoned him irrevocably


[deleted]

Your father sounds similar to mine. He actually succeeded in making most of his children hate their mum.


Whole_Wallaby_213

To my mom: you are a wonderful person just the way you are. Please stop taking everything so personally and treating it as a personal attack when it's not. You are good enough! To my dad: I'm sorry you were emotionally neglected as a kid. It has stunted you and being hypercritical of everyone isn't going to fill that void. Getting therapy is not weakness, so go do it. To both of them: I know you raised me the best way you knew how, in the church you two were also raised in. But for the love of all that is holy, open your eyes and see the church for what it is! It's a goddamn cult and it's killing me to see you give them money that you could be saving for retirement.


Serious_Ad_7482

Church can be good and it can be be bad,i wish we can be wise enough to discern when it longer serves us.


Banana_boof

Mum, I never deserved any of what you put me through, I was a kid who needed a mum and instead I got someone who never show me any affection, someone who would pit me against my brother knowing that in your eyes I would never win. Yet I was the one who looked after you when you got ill and it still wasn't enough, you used your illness as a power play. I had to go through life not knowing if you ever loved me and that messed me up, but it doesn't anymore. You had your issues and I'm sorry for that, I'm sorry you didn't get help for them, I'm sorry that you tried to put them onto me but they're not mine to carry anymore. And the one thing I did learn from you, how not to be a mum. My daughter will never grow up wondering if I love her, because I show and tell her everyday that I do. Dad, thank you for trying to protect me the best you could, thank you for never giving up on me and for always having my back and being in my corner. You're the best dad and grandad we could ever want, you're my best friend and I love you.


illdomethankyou

I had to read that twice In case I had written it and forgotten So sorry you had to go through that as well You have chosen, as I did to use the experience to make you a better mum Well done to you


DinosGamesAndBaking

I love you both tremendously but you two are idiots. You had a kid because you were trying to piss people off and I’m the one stuck with the trauma.


justadispatcher

My father knows everything I feel about him and his parenting. He has always been open to talking with me about everything and anything. To my mom: you are such a disappointment as a parent. You really shaped my parenting because you showed me exactly what I didn’t want to be. You never made me feel like a priority. You are manipulative, and self centered. The amount of fake happiness and agreement I have had to give you just to keep things okay is tragic. The fact that I feel like I can’t be honest with you is sad. I’m afraid to tell you anything because of your reactions, so I just don’t. I have a lot of pain regarding your behavior that I just don’t deal with because all you’ll do is turn it around to yourself and how you were wronged.


nanny2359

I spend time with you as an adult because it is easy to chat with someone you have known your whole life. You give me updates on my cousins. We have hobbies in common. You make great food. You are acquaintances and I take advantage of your hospitality. YOU OWE ME because you shit on the first 18 years of my life and damn right I will take what's owed in Christmas presents and delicious leftovers and help with renovations and the illusion of a real goddamn family. And I know you play along, never mentioning how I "forget" all the fathers and mothers days and your birthdays. I guess we all get a kick out of playing house. Until I have kids.


Flowerdriver

To my mom: I have zero respect for you and think you are a complete waste of oxygen. I chose to not let my kids around you because you don't deserve a relationship with them. To my dad: you are the most amazing person I know. (But he already knows this)


Direct_Pen_1234

Nothing I don't already say to them. I have very few negative things to say about my dad and my mom completely ignores all constructive criticism she's received her entire life.


Suva01

May your days be filled with minor inconveniences and your oreo packages not seal properly and make all of them stale. I love you but you are terrible people, I never had a childhood because of you, I never got to go to college because of you "homeschooling me and my grade getting so bad most community colleges wouldn't accept me, and finally for complaining to my doctor about why you weren't allowed to let me die when I was in a coma after like 3 days of me being in a coma is more than enough to show me that you SUCK. Stale oreos bitch.


Alert-Potato

I needed medical care and love. I got neglected, beaten, and sexualized. You wanted my trust, but the moment my eyes were closed you had all my hair lopped off because you were too stupid and lazy to learn how to brush my hair. And that is really exemplary of everything about you. To this day, you love only the daughter you wanted, not the daughter you got. You broke me in so many ways. I wish I didn't hate you, because it skirts too close to love for my comfort, but deep down I'm still that little girl opening her eyes in horror and hurt at the pile of hair on the floor who just wishes she had a mommy who loved her. Fuck you. I have champagne on ice for when you die and I can finally be relieved of the burden of your existence.


143019

I would say “You did the best you could with the skills you had. Thanks for being my Mom.”


Candymom

To both of them: I love you so much, I dont know how I'm going to cope when I lose you. It weighs on me every day. You were and are wonderful parents and I'm so proud to be your daughter.


Substantial-Hope1545

This sounds like my parents. They are both gone now and I miss them terribly every day. I always knew I was lucky to have them. I wish everyone could have had the same love and support they gave me. Cherish every day you have with them, take lots of pictures and videos. Record their voices. When I particularly sad, I play my moms phone messages to me. She always closed with, “Love you forever!”


Candymom

I've been saving their voice mails to the cloud. I'm going to get one of those bracelets where it looks like a bead but if you hold it up to the light you see a photo in it. I don't have one of those brains that can see pictures in it, so I'll want a photo with me always. I recorded my mom showing me her knick knack shelf and what all the little things on it mean to her. I have a video of my dad telliny me my favorite of his childhood stories. I'm trying to prepare myself. They are 75 and 77. Hopefully I'll have lots more years with them. I'm so glad you also had wonderful parents.


GrandSaltQueen

I love my mom, she is a great support system. But she has a tendency to dislike everyone and I really wish she would give people a chance. My dad… he’s a good person but he’s not the best father. He wasn’t involved much with my upbringing even though my parents were married during most of my childhood. I wish he were more present and understood the affect it had on me not really having a relationship with him. I also wish he knew he doesn’t need his girlfriend and he can do much better than her.


sandithepirate

My dad passed away a few years ago, and I wish I would have been my real self around him. I never wanted any confrontation, so I kept all of my opinions and interests to myself. After he died, I felt like a fool. I think he would have really liked me as is. I'd also tell him I'm mad at him for not taking his meds, but that I love him so much. My mom is still alive, and we have a pretty good relationship. I guess I'd have a convo with her about her judginess and how it hurt me as a kid/teen, and that even though I love her a lot, she tended to take her bad days out on me when I was young, which isn't fair, and just caused me a lot of sadness. I'm sure she'd deny this happened, so i don't ever mention it. But like I said, we have a good relationship now, and I love her as she is.


Smilesnfrowns

Dad and mom I wish I could forgive you and have love in my heart for you but all I have is resentment and sadness. I’m sad that I spent my childhood raising your children for you. Im sad because I also had to parent you. Imagine a child giving you advice because they know better. I’m sad that my friends have checked up on me more then both of you combined have. I’m sad that I’ll spend the rest of my life never uttering a single word to you again and all because of the damage you’ve created. I’ve hit some pretty big achievements and will hit some even bigger ones and you’ll never be apart of those big moments. I wish from the bottom of my heart that you would’ve never had kids or only stopped at me. I’m upset because I never had a mother. I got a mentally unstable bully who made my life a living hell. I got someone who literally put every single living soul before me and never once made me feel loved. I’m glad that you’re sorry now but now is too late. It makes me sad when I think of my memories regarding you. Every single of of them is negative except 2. 19 years of living and only 2 good memories regarding you to show for them. I also pity and feel sadness for you because you needed help and never got it. You where taken advantage of by your family and still are and I wish you would just walk away. You don’t need to be financially responsible to the people who wrecked you and your marriage. You own them nothing but you owe yourself the decency of walking away. Dad you once where my best friend. I always did everything in my power to make you proud of me and all you did was take advantage of it. I hate the fact that you stayed with someone who was constantly awful towards you but was even worse towards your child. I hate the fact that you’re so caught up with caring for everyone else when sometimes it’s okay to just focus on yourself or your kids. I feel used by you. The betrayal that you’ve caused me will single handedly be the biggest betrayal I’ll ever know. Through the hurt both of you have caused me I want to thank you. Thank you for making sure I got the best education/opportunities that you could give me. Thank you for teaching me how I never want to treat others or how I will never allow myself to be treated or taken advantage of. Thank you for teaching me how to be patient. Thank you for giving me a detailed book of everything I don’t want to be. I also thank you for giving me the drive that I have to be successful for myself. I genuinely hope from the bottom of my heart that you both get the best in this life and the next. I also hope that one day I will grow to forgive both of you in my heart.


ultimate_despair22

My mom: I hate you more than anyone and more than you could ever imagine, you ruined my life and no matter what you do and how hard you try you will NEVER make me feel better about what you did. F**k you. My dad: You're one of the best people in my life and I'm sorry for the way other people treat you, even tho you weren't really a part of my life for a while the time we spent together and the time we spend together right now is amazing and you're the best dad I could ever ask for. I love you so much


Miahrod831

Guy here and I'd say something along the lines of this I love you because you're family but I don't I can or ever will respect you in anyway. You put me and my brother through a lot of shit trying to one up each other for our love, and even pushed my brother so far that he attempted suicide. All the manipulation, lies, and things you said screwed me up and now I'm not ever sure if I'll find anyone to be happy with because I'm scared I'll end up like the both of you. I honestly don't think I can ever forgive you for what you did to us, and I really don't understand how you can always act like you did nothing to begin with. We only asked for your love and attention but it was almost as though you made it your mission to see who between the both of you could get the most of it out of us rather than actually trying to show us you loved us. Edit: Don't even wanna mention my stepdad and stepmom they were both horrible, and among the only people in the world I hate.


Julexis_

To my mum. I get youre having a hard time aswell but remember you're a muther aswell. You're not the only one who faced a loss. All I ask from you is that you be there for me. I just want you to be proud of me, I gave up so much cause I knew you've lost more but it never feels enough. Just pls know I'm trying so you have to try too. To my dad. Damn u. I got into honors role multiple times without your help. I invested my time in reading, painting, drawing, journalism, calligraphy, etc. and I learned it all by myself. I hate you for leaving cause that's the reaosn I had to grow up faster, to take care of what you left behind. So glad my brother will turn out nothing like you


Chenaur

My mom passed away in 2019. We weren't super close but I loved her and I miss her a lot. So I talk to her still sometimes when I'm alone. I tell her I'm sorry she struggled so hard with depression and I wish she would have reached out to me, or anyone. I tell her how much I miss her. I tell her I forgive her for favoring my brother, because I know she just found it easier to give in to him than fight him. I tell her it was hard watching her choose alcohol over us, but I understand it wasn't exactly a choice. I tell her I love her.


27_rings

I wish my father could realize that he favored his step-children over me. I wish my mom would have encouraged talks about mental health


nothinbutgoodvibes

"As a kid I never loved you, in my teens I hated you and now I never think of you. When you die I will feel nothing."


Negative_Rain7515

A lot of the time I feel judged or that I’m making the wrong choices in life. I’m just doing what makes me happy. This is also why I don’t tell you everything right away, your responses are usually negative and it’s hard to deal with sometimes. I’m not keeping it a secret, I’m just scared and anxious for your response.


h----------mm

MOTHER: I'm grateful for all of the material things and experiences that you provided me. I'm lucky that you showed me how strong women are and how ridiculous it is to think that men are better simply because they are men. I'm awed by your intelligence! I really do wish that you could express love toward something that isn't a horse, but I've come to see that you respect and value me in your own way. I don't think you will ever realize the emotional difficulties I went through growing up with absolutely no emotional support despite the devastating effects you have seen it have on my life. It will always be very difficult for me to like or trust anyone. FATHER: I spent my childhood longing for you. I spent my 20's growing bitter against you. When I finally tracked you down at age 34, met your beautiful family that you are devoted to and listened to all of your excuses and saw you break down with guilt and realize you wanted a relationship with me, I wasn't planning to ghost you at first. Now, though, it brings a smile to my face every time I think of you wondering, wishing, and hoping about a relationship. Have fun explaining to everyone in your life where the long lost daughter that you bragged about has gone. I rest easy knowing that I have avenged the sad little girl who had to wonder why she was the only kid without a daddy as your absence was never once mentioned to me, I was told I simply didn't have a father. When you die, if I even hear about it, my soul will feel peaceful.


VanthGuide

Both of you should have left religion and gotten some serious therapy before having kids.


chocoglooc

To Dad: You were an alcoholic, a rageoholic, a racist, a homophobe, a snob, and a complete asshole who ruled through fear and intimidation. I can only guess that your behavior came from a very deep well of pain and sadness you never told anyone about. To Mom: I am sorry you lived a life submerged in mental illness, and even more sorry you were going through that under the black cloud that was my dad. To both of them: No wonder neither of you could parent any of us. I’m glad I figured out how to look after myself, because someone had to.


FireRescue3

I adore you. Thank you for doing your best in raising me. You are a joy to me and I am so proud to call you my parents. They are 76 and 78 years old. They did the best they could with what they knew at the time.


TheShahOfBlah

Nothing I haven't already said. We were always close and talked about everything. Is it criticism easy to take? No, but we work through it as a family


Hailhozier

To sum it up: practice what you preach


ohmilkymama

That they've never actually been the parents that I needed, however I think they're aware of this.. and that I'm sick of pretty much parenting them and helping them deal with life dramas while I'm going through a divorce and trying to raise my own kids 😬🤷🏻‍♀️


pandaprincess259

Get therapy.


Tealme1688

To my mom— I wish you cared more about the happiness of your children rather than maintaining your appearance in all those Masonic organizations you joined. You sacrificed our happiness just to ensure you looked good in the eyes of others. Those others had no bearing in our home life, but you only wanted to look good in their eyes. To this day I have trust issues with just about everyone because praise was only given by you if it made you look good. I wasn’t allowed to have an off day or verbalize my emotions unless I was smiling. To my dad— I hope to have at least half the faith you did. Can’t wait to see you inHeaven. To both of them— you should have called it a day on your marriage after 30 years. You were both unhappy and unwilling to budge. Being roommates for the last 29 years of marriage was demoralizing to your children and grandchildren.


rosiestinkie9

My mom: You'll never be happy to see me happy. You'll always wish my father would take you back. You don't allow yourself to ever be comfortable in your relationships. You manipulate people and you've tried to turn me against my father with details that I never should have to know as your child. My dad: You're selfish and always will be. You never wanted to be a dad but wanted the privilege of "having children." You cheated on my mom and abused her. She deserved better. I'll never be able to relate to you and I don't want to.


NotKQz

Please stop taking it out on me that you had kids too young. I’ve tried so hard to be understanding but is it too much to ask for that I have a motherly figure.


Tlali22

My mom had brain surgery when I was young, and it really did a number on her cognitive abilities. My dad talked to me about her personality change, but no one ever told me that she wasn't as capable as everyone else. Of course, I don't think she realizes. I certainly didn't until just recently. I always thought she was just boring and forgetful. I used to get so upset when she got my name wrong. I always thought *How can you know so little about me? You've known me my whole life...* If I could tell her, I'd apologize for holding her to an impossible standard. For expecting her to be like other moms. I didn't know that she was actually trying her best.


[deleted]

I tell my mum how I really feel about her. It doesn’t always make her happy, but it’s liberating for me. It also means that she always knows how I feel about her, so she knows I love her very much.


SavesNine9

Mom, I’m sorry i disrespected your life choices. It’s your life. You put up with a lot of abuse and didn’t ever punch down. Your religion is weird to me, but it’s yours. You are fully a person and i respect you deeply. Dad, thank you for being introspective, even though you are an extrovert. You were terrifying as a young man and father. But you were very very young and your parents hadn’t taught you well - probably as theirs had not. You didn’t break the cycle, but you did apologize and try to live right. That’s really hard. You are a good man now and a role model in many ways.


letmebeurcumslut

I would tell my mom that I wish she would've continued her mental health treatment and prioritized herself and left my terrible father eons ago. And that I hope she doesn't blame herself for the divorce since it truly was a blessing for us kids. And that she is such a good, kind person. She deserved sooo much better but truly got the shit end of the stick from so many people in her life. And that I'm sorry for being such a bratty child and making life harder for her and that I'm trying my best to make up for it. And that I understand why she lashes out at me sometimes, but I hope she'll be able to forgive me for being such a horrible child and for all of the mistakes I made growing up. And that I love her endlessly and can now see how she did her absolute best despite how difficult things were for her. She's my modern day superhero and I hope to give her the world one day, even if I'm not her favorite (which I'm only slightly salty about lol). And that I'm not as much of a whore as she thinks I am! Everyone knows how I feel about my dad, and so does he. Nothing more to say at this point.


Snoo52682

I think the most critical thing I would say to either of them is that they had no fucking clue how the world worked but were absolutely convinced they did. I would yell at them a bit for the extent to which that fucked up my life, and then serve them some wine and try to get to the bottom of *why* they were like that, because so many people of their generation/social class seem(ed) to be that way. It would probably be a pretty interesting conversation.


ianhartless

this is more about an opinion they’ve held for years about how my autism was managed. i love my parents dearly but their idolisation of the head of my communication disorder unit, ehhh. don’t really care for that! so here goes: the head of my cdu wasn’t the saviour who helped finely hone my autism into something palatable. she repeatedly overstepped boundaries with multiple students and felt entitled to as well. a good example of this would be tying girls’ hair up with elastic rubber bands and driving a friend out of school to get a haircut without consulting her or her mother. she did this because she considered any hair longer than collar-length “baby hair”. i was giggling in class once and she screamed at me to step outside the classroom. she would also go overboard with punishments. when i was about six me and a boy were chasing around a girl and he kicked at her and i kicked at her too. bad behaviour right? you expect to be told off or get a stern reprimanding. well this went beyond that. we were screamed at for an entire day, monitored by her while we were eating our lunch (she sat next to us and watched us) and then brought the girl into the office and asked her to kick us. maybe in her mind that is karma, but a grown neurotypical woman should not be encouraging autistic kids to kick each other as some form of twisted justice when they’re that young. my parents are very grateful for the head of cdu because they felt like if i hadn’t had that sort of guidance i would have turned out unruly and badly behaved. but i don’t think that is the case. i think this form of teaching and guidances intimidates young children into behaving, rather than educates or encourages them to empathise. i don’t know how much they know or remember, but i feel like like they lionise her and while there were many fond memories growing up in that cdu i remember it quite differently.


Immediate-Pool-4391

You are an abusive a hole who took advantage of the fact I was severely agoraphobic to have free childcare for years without paying me a dime. You never should have been a parent and I want absolutely nothing to do with you ever again. You said I'd never go to college, and guess what? I'm about to get my associates. You are a miserable, vile person who deserves to have every rotten thing happen to you.


Lionsdontlikeporn

My mum passed away when I was five months pregnant with my daughter and I would love to tell her that I understand her so much better now! Everything she used to say makes so much sense. I am so gratefull to her for everything she did. At the same time I have begun to realize that she had flaws and was in fact a funtioning alcholic. I wish she could have known that she only had 59 years and that she could of had the courage to live her life for herself. And I wish I could tell my Dad that his new girlfriend is the worst and that everyone can see that he just wants someone to fix so that he doesn't have to deal with being broken.


goatmeal-cookies

Well, since they are both dead.... Actually, I was pretty lucky in the parent department. Not perfect, but we could talk. Miss them horribly, tho. My dad would have been 104 this year!


idklmao9

That I love them but they are shit parents. And I think they're relationship is a lil toxic.


GamerGirl-07

"I love u....but locking me in the house except school prolly won't do me any good"


Business_time_172

When you’re old enough you can leave when you like. I had a very over protective mother. She came from Third World War torn countries. They think we’re gonna die in the street or get pregnant by some rancid male. That’s all the trauma they’ve been through and was reality for them unfortunately. But one day you’ll have the freedom you crave. I’m almost 40 now with my own kids and my mum still thinks I’m gonna die in the street. 🤦‍♀️ you’ll get there. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and once you have freedom you won’t look back. Life is hard though I spent a good 5 years learning harsh lessons but it’s necessary.


GamerGirl-07

"there's a light at the end of the tunnel" Thank u...that's exactly what I wanted to hear rn :))))


Business_time_172

They can’t take control of us forever, that’s one positive about getting old 😆


cornraider

You are both terrible people who have caused me more pain than I could ever imagine. Wish I could bill you for the therapy but I don’t want your dirty money any way. Also mom you are a fat cow because you drink too much and have the self esteem of a 15 year old. Losing half a nipple during your 5 hour “mommy makeover” surgery was fucking karma. Dad you are literally useless and just need to come out of the closet already.


[deleted]

[удалено]


nevertruly

Removed as commentary indistinguishable from dehumanizing/pathologizing mental health conditions. Please do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's mental health situations or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic behaviour. If you are referencing someone with an official diagnosis, please feel free to edit to make that clear. If you have any questions, please message the moderators through the link on the sidebar.


PeakRepresentative14

I hate how spineless my dad is sometimes and that they had to maneuver themselves into a situation where a divorce would ruin so much more than save. And that I am stuck with them as an only child. And that they made me ugly. And that my mom wanting me to get married at 18 made me fear commitment.


cetus_lapetus

You guys were solidly mediocre 👍🏽


jesoulg

To my mom& dad: I'm sorry


not-cheetos

I would say their the weakest dumbest people alive and should suffer forever for what they allowed to happen in our family. Less my moms fault but she’s still responsible.


Gullible-Sherbet-428

I’d tell her that I love her and that although she was not perfect, I know she did everything she possibly could to provide for me and keep me safe.


victoriaismevix

I'm not falling for that mum....


insertcaffeine

Mom, You tried so hard, and you made so many mistakes. I love you, I appreciate you, I miss you, and there are a couple things I'll never be able to forgive you for. I pride myself on taking better care of myself than you did, and showing up for my son. P.S. I am neurotically careful with my alcohol and opioids because of you. My son deserves a mom free from addiction. Dad, You chaotic neutral bastard, what the fuck? Between what I remember and the stories I've heard, you're becoming this larger than life legend, which is what you'd want. I'm more curious about you than anything, though. Who were you? Were you ever proud of me? How much did you really care? It was hard to tell with all the drugs and alcohol and chaos. Stepmom, Thanks for trying to keep the wheels on the crazy train, as clueless as you were.


danseckual

Mom, thank you for everything you did and are doing for your loved ones. Dad, I've been asking mom to leave you since I was seven. Your love has always been conditional. I spent far too long trying to understand why you never wanted to spend any quality time with me. I no longer care what you think of me. You mocked my depression and suicidal ideation. You told my childhood doctor to give me a placebo instead of actual antidepressants. I ended up on lithium at age 11. You denied me orthopedic treatment for years, saying I was making it all up for attention. Now I'm facing complete replacement for both my knees. You refused to help me apply for student loans, but helped your co-workers girlfriends. You told me no one would ever love me. You are the oldest son in a Mexican family. You grew up speaking Spanish. You refused to help me learn how to speak to my grandmother. When I asked you to please assist me with my high school Spanish you said you don't speak the language. You never spoke to me on my wedding day. Fuck you. You don't deserve anything you have.


PaddlesOwnCanoe

I love you both very much; I just wish you loved each other.


TooHardToThinkOfName

Dad, You can’t just have kids and then dump them when they aren’t exact clones of you. Mum, You’re pretty rad actually no complaints


TraLawr

I'd love to be able to speak to my parents again and tell them both how much I loved them because I don't think I told them enough when they were here. My dad passed 33 years to the day today, my mum 4 years & 1 month today. Be kind to yours if you srill have them.


pollywantscrack76

That they shouldn’t have had kids


Agreeable_Hippo_7971

"You made me the way I am" ​ I can't and won't forgive my father for not proecting me from the SA I faced when I was 8. He made me feel like it was nothing, same as when I lost my first kiss at 17 to a 40-something year old dude, who had drugged and tried to rape me. My stepmom who has used me as an emotional crutch for years, made me her favourite and then completely forgot me when she had her own bio daughter. Who later claimed that family was like a chain, if one piece is broken the chain is ruined (saying I was the broken piece) My mom, whom I had to be the adult for. Who could never stand up for herself and let me do it as well as face the domestic abuse from her ex bf. Who to this day hasn't grown up at all and freaks out and plays the victim card the second something doesn't go how she wants. ​ At the end of the day I haven't talked to them about any of my problems. They don't know that my depression is back and stronger than ever, they don't know about my social anxiety, my panic attacks, my growing drinking problem, my eating disorders or my self harm. I would know what I meant, even if they don't because they don't deserve to know


Obvious_Flamingo3

How could you both pass your generational trauma onto me? Having a child was not a fantasy, or any way to fix your relationship. I know you’ve both been neglected by your own parents, but I no longer feel bad for you, as you chose to involve me in that. You both abandoned me mentally and physically and there’s no way I’m going to ever come back from that. I know your egos come in the way of ever wanting to admit the damage you inflicted upon an innocent child, but I hope one day you both apologise.


woodmama

Hm. My parents had me in high school. So as a kid themselves they had a kid. Sometimes in those situations you grow up, but sometimes not so much. I'd say my parents are in the not so much category. They had a nasty divorce when I was about 8. It went on for years, to the point they were in court constantly and wanted me to "side with them". I couldn't take it anymore and moved out at 16. Fast forward to being 28 and having taken care of myself all these years, every time I see my parents I feel like I'm reverting 10+ years. I try to ignore it, but I really wish I could essentially tell them to grow the fuck up. No one is perfect, but they still hate each other so much that they want to toss each other's name around. They hold grudges. They are mad at me for things I did when I was a kid... Which is kind of unfair, you know? I was a kid who was constantly put in adult situations. I'm not saying I always did the right thing, but moving out at 16 and being independent was probably the best decision I ever could have made. I respect people who raise a kid at such a young age. But I firmly believe in adoption and abortion if you can't handle it.


dylan_dumbest

You’re tall, smart, cultured, and well off. But you’re not better than other people. The way you raised me gave me serious anxiety and I had to work so hard to deprogram all the weird hang-ups you gave me so I could function around normal people.


lookingforaforest

I would tell them I’m an atheist and I’m never going back to church.


Nopenotme77

I already told my parent everything I feel.


[deleted]

I’d tell my mom I’ll never really forgive her for banging another man behind my dad’s back for 3 years and driving my dad to near un aliving himself from heartbreak.


HellsCandy

To my Mom: I think everything that is going on with you isnt your fault and that you were painted out to be this evil monster, I mean yeah some of the things you do I do not agree with. We’ve done evil things to each ofher but I wish you didnt do them back to me because I was a kid at the time. I don’t agree with your thinking methods or your lifestyle but I understand that what you do is might be because you really don’t see another way. I wish you acted like an Adult. I wish I could count on you. I’m glad Im able to count on myself to a degree, but at the same time its sad. I was left behind and I don’t have a childhood and now that I’m wanting to make amends and I need help taking care of my Grandmother and getting schoolclothes I wish you were there. And I wish you’d stop putting my hoe-ish cousin and your boyfriends as your first priority and always leaving me hanging. To my Dad: I regret saying what I’ve said to you but I have a right to at the same time because for weeks I worried about you why you was high. What pissed me off the most is you blamed me and my sisters Mom as a reason why you ghosted my sister and left me for weeks believing you reached your lowest without even giving me a phone call. I wish you’d put more time into me as much as I put into you and you cant even remember my birthday or how to spell my name. The least you could’ve done was send me a weed vape at least. Then again, you’re not as into being a Father as you should be so I shouldn’t expect anything more. Somehow, I still do love you. I guess I’m a daddys girl maybe, even though you’re always strung out.


MamaMidgePidge

You are the best people I know and I feel like I won the parent lottery when I got you. Thank you for everything, I love you.


Denisimo7

I tried speaking to my mother about years of her verbal abusive behavior, she told me: “get away from me or I will call the police”. I have friends from every culture and race, my mother loved all of them. But if I forgot to take out trash or recycling, my mother would call me a Nazi or told me that killing me is not enough.


collective_noun

If you were less preoccupied with getting verbal validation that you're good parents, you might actually have the time to listen to me enough to be good parents.


[deleted]

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masochisticanalwhore

Haha, lol oh I tell them.... Basically: Mom, yes dad was awful.But guess what? You left him 10 years ago. I get that baggage doesn't just go away. But you are literally using his past abuse as an excuse not to take accountability for yourself and for me as your child. Your therapist is trying to tell you not to judge yourself because you didn't know better. Well, you didn't. But now that you DO, maybe you SHOULD learn how to feel bad about yourself if it will improve your behavior. Because then you work through the shame, become better, and realize you don't need to protect your fragile little ego. That you're human, you're ALLOWED to make mistakes, but you're also RESPONSIBLE to the people who you care about in your life (to a degree). You owe me a heartfelt, genuine apology for the ways in which you used and belittled me.


MellifluousSussura

I once tried to tell my mom I was afraid of her (not physically) and she got mad at me for it. …I’m now diagnosed w an anxiety disorder. I’d probably tell my dad something similar if I could. Just with better wording. Maybe tell my mom that she was impossible to live up to in a way that had nothing to do with her parenting. I have a hard time explaining it though so I’d have to figure out how to put it into words first.


Affectionate-Yam4916

For the love god get a divorce or go to couples therapy. You two talk about each other so much but tbh you two say the same thing. Stop playing victim.