By - AndyBales
Reaction videos. Why would anyone care how a stranger reacts to something? Most of the time, the reaction isn't even real and just played up for the camera.
If there's someone whose content I enjoy, and someone else's content I enjoy, I like to watch that person watch the other person. I'm not going to enjoy the reaction video if the person is reacting to content that I don't like.
3 hour long church services. Jesus gave the sermon on the mound in like 5 minutes. Get over your ego pastor!
When Rosa Parks died, her funeral service was supposed to be three hours long. That seemed needlessly long to me, but she’s an American hero, so maybe a longer service made sense.
Instead, [it lasted over seven hours.](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/wbna9893832) And you know that’s because every preacher and every politician and every celebrity wanted to brag about speaking at Rosa Parks’ funeral. It seemed horribly self-indulgent to me. It became less about her and more “Did you see what I said about her?”
I grew up going to Catholic mass. 30-45 minutes, then it's off to get donuts. The long masses are on holidays, and usually there's fire or baptisms involved, so we're filling that time with something. What do people even do at day long services? Is the pastor really talking the whole time??
One of my favorite details in the Bible is that at least one of Peter's sermons (Acts 10:44) was cut short by the Holy Spirit showing up while he was still talking, effectively ending the sermon. God apparently had decided that that was enough.
Having constant drama at work, in friend groups, and elsewhere really can't be all that exciting... can it? If I have one friend causing me too much drama I usually avoid it like it's the plague.
Seems some people tend to create drama everywhere they go.
I find a lot of these people telegraph their ability to create drama by, unprompted, declaring they hate drama.
As my girls were heading into middle school we sat down and discussed what it meant to be a “drama monster”.
That term really worked well to help us communicate and begin labeling behavior that is toxic. Some people just act that way all the time and with this definition the girls were able to make smart friend choices.
And in the years since they’ve caught me a few times and cautioned me against being my own version of a drama monster 😂
I wish I instilled that in my niece. She was a great kid but now she’s a drama monster and no family member can stand to be around her. Generally, the room goes silent when she’s around because everyone is afraid she’ll twist our words and jokes to become the victim. She’s an adult, she’s not obligated to attend any family function unless it takes place at the families house where she lives. Yes, she bounces around family because she’s too intolerable for one household and not independent enough to leave. We just sit here tortured hoping she’ll get new meds but meds don’t fix character flaws.
My brother is like this. I’m legit afraid to talk to him
My mom used to be like this but we all sat her down and explained how her behavior affects us and why we don’t come to visit. She’s still a bit victim like but she’s not the same selfish woman from the 90’s. I think when you get older, family becomes important if they aren’t horrible people.
Drama is addictive. I used to need constant drama, and it was because my childhood was so chaotic that it literally rewired my brain to be uncomfortable without it. It's an actual illness. I needed years of therapy to become stable, and I'm still not done.
Yup ! This ! Chaotic/unpredictable childhoods rewire us to be accustomed to so much adrenaline from uncertainty and dopamine rushes when things turn out ok. And stable, consistently supportive relationships can seem “boring” or not intensely connected enough.
I had never thought of it this way, but that totally makes sense. I also had a chaotic childhood and used to be a drama queen. It's taken me a long time to get past that. I still feel like I don't have the emotional maturity that I should, but I'm in my 40s now and I'm too old and tired for that nonsense.
Bars and restaurants with loud music and terrible acoustics. What’s the point in being social in a place where they’re trying to make it hard for you to socialize?
Someone explained this once and it made a lot of sense so I'm gonna try, but it'll most likely be shitty: Loud music fills in awkward silences and covers up social faux paus in an environment where mixing and mingling is encouraged.
It helps facilitate you hooking up with Jenny because she doesn't realize you're a terrible conversationalist since the music covers it up.
Loud music forces people to talk more loudly and about simpler subjects. So it has the effect of filtering out serious subjects and shifting focus to the more excitable language, flirtatious language, etc. basically like your example with Jenny.
I personally enjoy it, if it's the right time and place. Not at a restaurant. But if there's a dance floor, sure. But I've got friends who hate it, because they always prefer calmer conversations, so loud places aren't for them.
And people tend to (purchase more drinks from the bar to) drink more when they aren't able to talk with each other or hear each other
Accurate. It's like an office party you don't want to attend but need to so you can "network".
So many times I've been in my office since coming back from lockdown and I've wanted to say "look can we cut the office chat and if I ask you how your life is going, that you give me a honest answer?"
LinkedIn takes the vacuous nature of being in an office and multiplies it by 10. The virtue signalling people do on there just to feign the value they think they offer to the world is a issue that people have allowed to go on wayyyy too long on social media.
The mistake is thinking of it as a social network. This is a job hunting tool, so people project the image that recruiters want to see.
I thought nobody really enjoyed it except HR people, but there's always that guy at the office isn't it?
I've landed a few job interviews from linkedin, and I've never ever post anything, I just started following absolutely everyone.
I use it as a place to keep my professional network intact and to post my resume so people can ping me. Twice now I've used offers I got through LinkedIn to get a match from my employer. The past two years in particular I've had dozens of people reach out to me about legit offers. Ignore all the bullshit and just focus on employment and it's a good tool. Use it as a social network and, surprise, you get FB level drama. LinkedIn is a great tool if you use it for what it should be used for.
I like that nobody has any objections on this
It is cringe how fake linkedin is. Specially when they share some 'wholesome' story with a picture of them smiling.
I prefer the opposite. The ones where they show "the struggle of finding a job or working remotely" and post a closeup of them crying alone.
What a weird thing to share on the internet.. especially with potential employers and previous coworkers.
Linkedin is the biggest self fart sniffing contest in existence. Its sales people trying to sell shit to other sales people
It’s a good place to post your résumé and that’s it.
Idk, I’d say it’s an even better place to stalk someone else’s resume
Look for people with the job I want, poach copy from their resumes, change it up a little and make it fit around jobs I’ve actually done. Et voila! The perfect candidate
It's fine as a job board. The social networking aspect is a joke.
Your boss’s jokes.
"Spot on, sir!"
Heard this in Kryten's voice from Red Dwarf.
Nah, my boss once told me " hey for a lil guy you got a big ass" i said youre goddam right
Podcasts where the hosts just laugh at everything they/other hosts/guests say. Nothing is that funny for that long, dude.
Wow, you're right. Sometimes a podcast really needs an editor to say "I'm glad you guys are having a good time, but this whole episode was like an in-joke that the audience is not involved in."
The Dollop is like this. I enjoy some of their stuff, but when I saw them live it was maddening how the "funny" guy would interrupt the other guy ever 2.3 seconds with some quip. Let him speak! I'm actually interested in the history he's trying to convey.
Not everything needs some sound effect.
They've permanently stopped producing content, but Backstory has about a 10-year archive of content of real historians as hosts interviewing other historians or similar experts. Though it's usually tangentially related to a current event which will be hopelessly out of date, it's the best I've ever heard. So fucking interesting almost every episode.
I fucking LOVED Backstory! And yeah, their archive is immense, and absolutely worth a binge. So many highly intelligent hosts and guests, talking about often-obscure history moments.
That way the person hosting doesn't have to know anything
It's a style choice more than anything. NPR's gotten so much flak for being expressionless and boring that they're trying to push the other way now that there's actual competition in podcasting. IMO the meat is still there, though
Man. That's what I love about NPR. I hate. HATE over sensationalized news storys.
Like seriously, I don't need a 1990s movie trailer style voice about... Supply chain issues, or whatever.
*In a world* full of supply chain issues...
Radio lab was my fav. WAS my fav. Now it’s tough to listen too since the host change.
Look up "Ideas" from the CBC. It's long form radio documentaries, recordings of public lectures, etc... very well done.
I genuinely enjoy Hey Riddle Riddle, which is probably 90% bits/improv scenes and 10% solving riddles.
I tried a podcast about bad movies once. Holy cow, the one guy laughed loud and long about *everything*. I deleted that shit.
This happens so much with movie podcasts it’s crazy. I’ve had this experience with like 3 so I just gave up on the medium completely
"Blank Check with Griffin and David" is very good. Entertaining and informative.
Trying to make everything Instagram ready.
I've fallen in that trap before, deleted everything but Reddit.
I'm much happier now living in the moment, watching my kids play instead of taking photos of them, eating my food instead of standing above it trying to take a picture in a crowded restaurant.
Once you stop feeding your ego, a lot of worry stops with it.
As a fellow 'reddit-and-nothing-else' internet person, I think you should continue to take as many pictures of your kids as possible.
Definitely takes pics of your kids for yourself and them, but don't feel the need to put them on facebook or instagram or need them to be oh-so-perfect looking
Yes. Stop in the middle of Xmas parade and snap some pics of your kids, hug them then put the phone away and watch them enjoy the Grinch driving the fire truck.
I need to do this more. Too often I worry that I'll forget moments with my children. It's nice to have reminders of those moments sometimes.
Long-ass, boring videos of their friends' kids.
When someone asks me about my kid I just show them one photo quickly and that's it.
I know how much I hated when people start scrolling photo albums.
There's a girl I work with who I **(F29)** ~~bought~~ thought was my age and childless for almost a year. We just chatted like people, then one day she randomly mentioned her son and I learned she is 42, and married, with 2 sons.
Work is such a trip like that! I'm friends with 22 year old new grads but also with grandmothers. So many people don't look like the age you expect them to be, especially if you're usually wearing masks around each other so it makes things even more confusing!
At 29 my best friend at work is 62. We’re a riot together
When I was 23, one of my favorite people to hang out with was at least in her late 60s, if not early 70s. She’d get so angry with her new computer (this was the late 90s) and so I was always the one who would help her out. One day she was fuming, and she says, “do you like to drink? That’s what I do. I go home, I smoke, have a drink, and listen to music.” I said, “I like that too”.
“Good,” she said. “You should come over.”
And I did. She taught me how to make Brandy Manhattens. I’d play bartender, she’d play old jazz records and Dean Martin, etc., and we’d talk about our lives—hers being much more interesting to hear about, until we got hungry and made turkey sandwiches.
Carol, I miss you. Good times.
Virtually all of my friends in my life, since I was 14, have been people who are 15-50 years older than I am. They do pass on too soon, but all the memories of those life stories I learned about! Each one is something like the end of the film Titanic when you see the adventures in the life of 'Rose'. My sister thinks that my life/friends are pathetic, but when I see her around all her alcoholic friends, I'm totally convinced that she and they are only pretending to have a good time.
Carol sounds awesome.
Just think, you might get to be someone's else Carol when you get older and that'd be awesome too.
I met one of my best friends at work in 2008. She's the funniest human I've ever met, with a wit that knows no bounds. I was 27ish and she was 47ish. I am the same age as her oldest son and it doesn't matter. We are cut from the same cloth.
Long-ass boring videos of *anything*. Am I the only one who has the decency to just never bother showing anyone any video that's more than 30 seconds long?
My cousins do this every single time we all get together. Whatever sporty thing they did, ever since they got go pros they just *have* to force us all to watch at least twenty minutes of video.
And then I'm the one who is rude whenever I walk away to do something else. Every time. smh.
Long-ass, boring forced video chats with friends’ kids. I DONT WANT TO SKYPE WITH YOUR FIVE YR OLD. I know you’re tired of them talking your ear off, but subjecting your friend to it is just plain inconsiderate.
Live action remakes
The thing that I specifically don’t like is when the “live action” remake is really a CGI remake, but they won’t just acknowledge that it’s still animation.
You want to remake the hand-drawn animated Lion King movie with a computer animated Lion King movie? I don’t care to watch that, but fine, go ahead. But don’t call it “live action”.
What's not to love of about a movie that's longer, has less expression, changes the original ending and message, features actors that can't really sing, and only exists to remind you of a better film that came out 25 years earlier?
Right? I especially love the over reliance on CGI that looks bad now and will look even worse as time goes on in an effort to translate 2D character designs into 3D where they look more like sleep paralysis demons than the cute cudly animals they were originally designed to look like.
Also, calling anything with CGI characters 'live action'.
Well, with The Jungle Book, the main character was at least a real human... but the same can not be said for The Lion King. Not one real animal or person in the entire movie, and they call it Live Action, lol.
The worst part is people bought into it, at least for a little bit. I've had people get flippant with me for saying that photorealistic CGI doesn't make it live action. If they put James Earl Jones's geriatric ass in a mocap suit and got him on all fours that'd be another thing, but they didn't.
Maintaining their jobs as YouTube, TikTok, Instagram personalities.
I *briefly* had *mild* success with a channel on YT 10 years ago and it was nowhere near the level things are now. And I see the production value and the regularity of some of the content. And I just think how much pressure these folks feel to feed the machine or perish.
Being a content creator sucks. When you start, it's kind of a passion project, which is great. Ideas are fresh, and inspiration comes naturally. When you get traction and find a formula that clicks it becomes more about pushing content that generates as much traffic, likes, shares, and subs as possible. When this happens your original ideas become more and more manufactured and less authentic, which takes the joy out of the creative process, making it feel like a job you hate.
Yah you see YouTubers starting off doing things they like then all of a sudden, one of their videos gets a ton of likes and that becomes their niche and about all they do for the next few years. You see it with a lot of Minecraft streamers where they only play the one game for years. One of the creators I like started off playing games for YouTube and then he made a video where he taught how to build a pc that got a lot of likes. Now all of his videos are pc build guides because doing what he loved wasn’t getting him good money
There's an interesting [Ted Talk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9EKV2nSU8w) about this phenomenon - how people's minds (especially children's) are being shaped by algorithms.
If a YouTube creator's video gets promoted by the algorithm, they shape their content to match it, which (because it's popular) causes the algorithm to seek out similar content which it promotes, and so on and so forth in a vicious circle. Apparently, it's affecting our development both mentally and socially, and could cause big problems down the line.
In entertainment as well as many other areas, our world is already being silently shaped by AI.
**Edit**: *For those thinking/replying that this is not different to past supply & demand, I recommend watching the video. The point the speaker makes is that we do not fully understand the algorithm, even its creators cannot exactly control it. And, because it is AI, it can't distinguish between what is and isn't appropriate content for children. As a result, children are being exposed to things they wouldn't otherwise be exposed to. The example the speaker makes is a kid can be watching Disney videos and be taken to a video of Mickey Mouse masturbating.*
*Anyone can make these videos. There is no way to fully regulate that. So, a video could be made by someone responsible, or it could be made by a troll or simply by machine software spewing out content for views. On top of that, with the continuous-play option, we are exposed to endless streaming content which affects everyone but especially kids' development.*
*These are the ways in which algorithms are a new societal concept and is shaping people. We are leaving regulation to AI which doesn't currently have the capacity to regulate.*
I would rephrase that slightly in that our world is being shaped by our *use* of AI. The AI isn't doing this intentionally, it's just using the data that is fed to it to provide recommendations. It doesn't have the foresight to know what will happen as a result of its own choices, so it knows nothing of the feedback loop it is involved in.
At some point, if you have enough of a following, the amount of time you spend making content is very likely more than a full-time job. I imagine that even if it’s content you enjoy, you’d get Burned out really fast.
I think about this all the time for streamers that play a specific game.
I cannot think of a world more hellish then being a successful professional league or hearthstone streamer and being forced to play every day for 8-10 hours.
Some of these people are going on past a decade of just playing the same game every day all day.
I love playing video games but playing them 24/7 while having to constantly talk and try and be funny and interesting sounds like a nightmare.
It takes away everything that’s enjoyable (to me) about gaming. That’s why those jokes like “Job: masturbating and playing video games all day, $5000 an hour” don’t make any sense. As soon as something becomes a job, it means something completely different; loving your job is not the same thing as being forced to do your hobbies.
>loving your job is not the same thing as being forced to do your hobbies
A piece of advice my grandpa gave to me that I probably rolled my eyes at the time - don't turn your hobby into a job if you want to keep the hobby.
It happened to one of the streamers I used to watch. His name is Faux and he streams Oldschool Runescape. For a little while, when World of Warcraft: Classic first released, he started playing and streaming that, and it seemed like he was having a great time with it. One of my friends did some dungeons with him and it sounded like both of them had a great time. A lot of his viewers only watched him for his Runescape stuff though and he eventually had to fall back into that.
I'm not sure if he felt like he had to or if he had his fill of WoW and just came back to Runescape naturally, but I imagine that it was more of the former.
I used to have a decently sized following online for my art. Not super popular, but popular enough to start getting tagged and do a couple of collabs with actual big artists.
Maybe if I kept it up I could've turned art into a full time job (shit I've always wanted to draw comics and do animation for a living), but I got massively burnt out less than a year after my page started gaining traction. It was a constant battle to focus on what was giving me the most views/likes instead of actually practicing and improving in my weaker areas, and I was always working on *something* in my free time so I would have something to post. I was always trying to outdo myself too, so if one post didn't get a ton of attention I'd get REALLY hung up on it.
I deleted my page in 2018 and I want to say that was the best decision I ever made, but to this day I still haven't been able to complete a single drawing. I've ironically grown to just hate all my art because I'm so hyper aware of all the flaws in it now. For some reason my dumbass is still considering making a new art page once I can start completing drawings again
The same exact thing happened with me. 20k followers on instagram and increasing by the day. My art account turned into my job. I stopped enjoying drawing and just did it for the likes and shares and comments. It was such a high when a post would take off but if there was a dry spell I’d think I wasn’t good enough and would feel like shit. After posting, my heart rate would shoot up and I’d watch my notifications obsessively for hours. My self worth was up and down constantly.
Abandoned the account in 2020 and I’ve never looked back. One of the best things I’ve ever done for my stress. I don’t draw as much as I used to due to the mindset I got myself in, but I’m actually starting to enjoy drawing and painting for fun again, and I like trying to improve for *myself,* not just so that people like me more.
You just explained the feeling way better than I could! I especially remember constantly checking my phone for notifications after I posted something- the first hour or so I would have a ton of anxiety waiting for things to ramp up. And if something didn't do well, I'd just be thinking "I thought this was good, where did I go wrong?" There was definitely a lot of imposter syndrome going on there. I was *terrified* of just being a one-hit wonder
Very sorry to hear that you got so burnt out on something you clearly love so much. Good luck finding your fun again, it seems like you have a good perspective on what wasn't working before. That can be a great tool in making sure you do what works for you going forward.
I went years like that where I didn’t do a finished drawing. Just the occasion sketch. I should say, personal work. I did do some for clients or family. Maybe trying to get a commission might help get the wheels going. Another thing that maybe helped me, was I tried a different medium.
Being famous as a whole really. Sure money is very good and having fans "love" you is good and all, but I'm convinced that they miss their privacy
Much rather be rich than famous.
Absolutely seems this way. I do see a lot of channels that have grown in popularity hiring editors and assistants to help them along. Imagine making so much content that you have to pay people to help get it out on schedule?!
And the creators I follow that don't have teams to do all the behind the scenes work tend to end up falling into depression. One YTer I followed since he had 20k subscribers. His channel completely blew up after a while, he tried making it a full time job, got severely depressed, and it really shows in his recent videos now. Where he used to have funny commentary videos with snappy editing (think similar to Degenorocity), these days it seems he just sorta rambles to the camera, his booming subscriber count tapered off right before he hit 500k subs, and his stuff barely gets views anymore. It's really sad to see someone get burnt out in real time and be powerless to help them
Maybe im just being naive, but some of them seem to just over do it. I think making less content with slightly higher quality could benefit them alot more both in growth and their own health.
American talent shows like quite literally “America’s got talent”, and “American Idol”. Who the fuck are these shows catered to? The dialogue is cheesy, idiotic, and fake as fuck and the structure doesn’t make sense. Back then it had categories and the contestants would compete against their own groups which at least made it somewhat interesting. Now? Anything fucking goes, and you could have a wanna-be jabawacky dance group of about 20 people Vs little Timmy playing a harmonica with his asshole. It makes no god damn sense.
> “American Idol”
I used to actually watch this, but only the first few episodes of each new season where they were auditioning people. The variety was interesting and a lot of the contestants were naturally good performers. Once the chosen ones started getting molded by the pros in later episodes, it became horrifyingly unwatchable.
My dad used to watch just to see Simon yell at people
But little Timmy was born with a rare condition that doesn't allow him to blow enough air out of his mouth while his lips are pursed so he has to use his asshole. His harmonica was his only friend growing up. Heart touching really.
It's the back story that I hate. I don't mind the acts, but if we could cut all the commentary bs, it'd be so much better.
“America’s Got A Sob Story”
Just talent shows in general. No matter where its from. I've said before, and I'll say again, all you need to get far in a talent show is come on with a sob story. If you have one of those, garuntee you'll get to the end. You don't even need a talent. Just a sob story
That nasty fermented shark they over in Iceland.
Same with that cheese with live maggots in it that they eat in Italy.
>whatever actually originates from poverty.
I ordered pasta fagioli at a nicer restaurant and my nonna told me that's what they made on the farm. She made me get something else lol.
Anything that requires an insane amount of waiting in line. Amusement parks, brunches at fancy places, night clubs, etc.
Like, you're engaging in an a barrier to make the "thing" you want seem worthwhile.
I dunno, I despise lines.
I once went into an amusement park on a cloudy day with occasional rain. It was literally the best experience ever. There was this rollercoaster that normally was really popular with probably over an hour of waiting time, but on this day, nobody was there because of the shitty weather. The wait in line was like 5 min max. I rode that thing like 5 times in under half an hour. Literally the best experience ever. We were extremely lucky with the weather.
I've recently come to the conclusion that if there's anything touristy you want to do, if at all possible, do it in the fall. The weather's a little worse but it's usually still half decent, and the other tourists will have already been around in the summer.
Haven't actually tested this out, but I figure taking vacations in September or October instead of June, July and August would be more enjoyable because there should be less people.
if you don't care about actually skiing, go to a ski resort town in Colorado in May. The restaurants are still open, the views are spectacular, you can hike around, go in the hottub, lots of fun.
Agreed. There's a psychological basis for this. Saw it in a TED talk once, don't have the link (I think it was Robert Spolsky's work, but could easily have been Dan Gilbert or Laurie Santos).
But basically, if you measure the brain's reward response before a pleasurable event (not sex, like buying something or eating tasty food), you would expect to see the pleasure/reward response spike when the event occurs, stay elevated for a while, then slowly taper off. That's not true.
It turns out the pleasure response builds before the event, and is actually highest right before the event occurs. Once the event happens, the reward response drops almost immediately back to baseline.
The waiting/anticipation is actually more satisfying to our brains than the actual event in some cases. Some of our primate relatives show the exact same response.
I used to think people pretended to like olives. I’d eat them if they were in a dish but I didn’t like them. A few years of that and suddenly I’m buying olives to eat on their own. Acquired the taste I suppose.
I ducking love olives. I straight ate an entire jar in one night out the jar with a fork.
Playing tag with a four year old. You have to let them win all the time to not make them cry you have to run really slow and you have to look like you're enjoying it.
Wrong. You let them win 30% of the time. This teaches them the value in winning and exploiting a physically superior beings weakness
Wrong. Show no weakness. Only the strongest children shall win.
My dad and I have an ongoing hide-and-seek game. Been at it since 1998. One of these days I'll find him.
Hello, son. You will never find me, keep looking! #ReigningChamp1998
Playing hide and seek also. You never know who’s hiding or who’s seeking
My kid likes to tell me where he's gonna hide 🤦♀️
My kid likes to yell "I'm here!" when I'm pretending to look for him.
My nephew used to do the same, which is why I genuinely enjoy playing with him. It cracks me up.
My nephew likes telling me where to hide.
That's still better than him yelling "Iiiii'mmmm dooone" when you thought you were playing hide and seek.
Lol my nephew whispers to me "don't go there first" pointing to where he's going to hide
My kid used to hide in the exact spot I had just hidden.
But then I could prolong her fun because I knew exactly where *not* to look and she'd always be so happy for picking such a good hiding spot
Baahahaha, that's the cutest! Mine used to give themselves up every.single.time by answering me when I'd sing "where is so-and-so hiding?".. they'd giggle and yell I'm right here, Mum!
Was exasperating and wildly funny at the same time.
The fun for little kids is being in found not hiding. My toddler always hides under his doona and I sit on his bed wondering aloud where he is while he giggles maniacally under the covers.
I used to play hide and seek a lot with a friend's four year old and before she would go count she'd point to the spot I just found her in and be like "hide here" or if I had a good spot and she struggled to find me for her turn she'd be like "I'm gonna here now, go count"
I gotta say, I love playing hide and seek with my nieces, mostly because it gives me an excuse to play hide and seek... I feel like adults should have more opportunities to play hide and seek.
we need to start organising big adult hide and seek days, because i too would love to play hide and seek more. like just get a bunch of grown adults in a park somewhere and play hide and seek all afternoon
Sounds like you're training a border collie lol
In my mnd there's not a big difference between small children and pups.... What works from ones usually works for the others, up til they start reasoning (the toddlers)
When I was little, I got deeply offended if I thought anyone was letting me win at anything. I didn't mind losing constantly to an adult, because I expected to lose. I just wanted to play well.
I work with four and unders, I don't let them win tag or other games. I'll do things to make it more fair but I never let them win. If they cry, they cry. All part of learning
My third grade teacher followed this path. Once a week he’d break out a bunch of chess boards and have everyone pair up to play each other and he let us challenge him too. He would always win. Even in the mornings before school started all the kids would play Four-Square on the court and even when he had a broken hand he’d play with us and no kid could ever beat him. He was a real cool guy and a good teacher.
Sometimes I think “well if they didn’t like me they wouldn’t hang out with me” but then I overthink more and conclude that they’re being polite and don’t wanna just ghost me
yea I did the same, until I isolated myself to the point of no longer being in contact with the few friends I had
How ironic that we became the ghost-ers lol
I feel so called out I have been isolating myself from my friends out of this fear and feeling of self shame for years. I really need to change but im not sure how.
Been there, it’s a loop.
You feel distant from them because you worry people hate you, and you worry people hate you because you feel distant from them.
Fucked up, but the search for security, creates insecurity. They appear separate, but the worry people hate you, and the isolation from others, are two sides of the same coin.
Sorry you’re going through it, it sucks. One book that’s helped some is the, “Wisdom of Insecurity” by Alan Watts, but I assume the bigger thing is we both majorly lack self-confidence/self esteem.
Trying to work on this myself, good luck, and hope you find your way through it.
People aren't this nice. Especially if they actively dislike you. If you're invited someone wants you there.
I was only ever invited because the host thought someone else wanted me there, then one time when I wasn't able to make it, they found that no one *actually* wanted me there and it was like I suddenly fell through a hole in the world.
Only one of them has started a conversation with me in the 18 years since. It's safe to say those people were never my friends in the first place.
That's terrible, i am sorry you have fallen through the invisible hole separating superficial reality and the underworld ... an event no one expects nor wants .
more seriously though, i hope you moved on and managed fairly well (or even really well)
I feel this one, man. I'm constantly worried that people are just being polite to me and can't stand me. I've told my wife and she thinks I'm so silly. I struggle with this.
EDIT: Anxiety can make you believe lots of silly shit.
This is something I was utterly convinced of from childhood through young adulthood. It sometimes rears its ugly head from time to time and I have to tamp it down. Sickeningly enough, I sometimes find it comforting
Edit: it's still crazy to find out other people experience(Ed) this same feeling. As a kid I felt so utterly alone in this. I used to walk home from school just repeating to myself that no one likes me. Anytime it seemed like I had friends I had to remind myself that was a lie and they're just nice people. It wasn't until I was an adult and people actively sought out my company that this started to fade away.
Glad to hear you've beaten it into submission for the most part. I completely relate to the comforting nature of this stuff. There truly is a comfort to anxiety or depression. It's gnarly shit.
Oh man. It's a dark dark place and I hate how comforting it is. It's like a warm blanket of self-loathing
If this one isn't painfully true I don't know what is.
kick him while he's down why don't you?
Your anxiety lies to you.
But how do I know it's the one lying and not everyone else? Where's the proof?
“Show me the math behind your affection!!!!”
If the question is "Am I crazy, or is everyone lying to me?" the only satisfactory answer is that you are the issue.
It is true that people tend to be nice instead of tell people they suck. But, by definition, being a person people don't like has different results than one that people do. Especially at the extremes. You can rest assured that there is not some sort of conspiracy to fool you into thinking people like you.
Likewise, you being aware that people that are disliked are treated differently than people that are liked qualifies you to tell the difference. If you can tell when other people don't like each other, then you can tell if people don't like you.
Some people do struggle with these distinctions. But again, that is a quality within themselves. (Earlier, I said 'crazy', but some people are just better, or worse, at certain things than others. That doesn't mean a person is damaged or sick. On the other hand, some people are damaged or sick.) People are not pretending to like them.
I used to fear that the people who claimed to care about me were lying to me. I was a deeply unpleasant person for a long time, and a lot of people did, if fact, not like me. But ultimately I discovered that people will not expend the necessary energy to create the illusion that a person has friends. It is the bright side of each person being pretty insignificant to the world around them.
If it makes you feel any better, everyone makes it known they despise mine
Baby showers/reveal parties
I feel like those are just excuses to have get togethers
Isn’t every get together an excuse to have a get together?
That's literally the whole point of any celebration.
Having a job
As someone who hates working I’d say it depends. I’ve done volunteer work I have loved and stayed longer than my shift but my real job I do not like at all
Same here. I think it’s the line of being appreciated and not being appreciated, reward and no reward. The volunteer work I’ve done is both of those things. Humbling even. You leave certain events seeing your life in a different perspective. My job is exactly that, a job. It only has a reward with a sprinkle of appreciation in between. I don’t know, just my opinion.
If you have a job that you like, and that you care about, and that pays you a living wage, then yes. Pick one at most, maybe two if you flip a coin and it lands heads sides up.
One of the best jobs I ever had was where I got the lucky coin flip where the coin landed on its edge and I had all three. The reason? I have disability and can work part time and yet still live. I could pick a job that I wanted instead of needed and it made all the difference to me. I worked at that job for seven years when prior to that my average job tenure was about two months.
Surströmming. There is absolutely no way people in Sweden actually enjoy this can of puke.
Edit: As people are telling stories about their experiences with Surströmming I want to tell one of my own.
Once upon a time in Sweden, a mild summer in august, my family decided to host a dinner at our house for our friends. We had a lot of food of different kinds on the table and our friends brought some food with them as well. The weather was with us so we decided to eat on the porch outside. As we were getting ready to eat we decided it was time to open the cans…oh god! What occurred after have been stuck in my head for ages.
First came the smell, some of us almost puked, others kept their stoic faces on. But the craziest ones of us took a deep breath and said: “delicious”.
Shortly after, the invasion started. Hundreds upon hundreds of flies. There was chaos, crying, despair and my father screaming: “we have to get away from here.” We all grabbed what we could take and ran inside. Watched trough the windows as a cloud of flies descended upon the rest.
*heavy sigh*! aah yes, Sweden!
I want to try it, but a can in my local shop is something like €27. I'm not paying that much for rotten fish.
You're not paying for fish, you're paying for the experience.
My neighbor and her family tried it because it's one of those ancestral cultural foods for them. It smelled so bad they had to open it outside (in December), and her brother was one of the only people who actually put it in his mouth. He vomited pretty much immediately. Then he had to take it deep into the woods around his house to dispose of it lol.
I want to try it. But it's apparently not allowed to fly as far as nz because the can have the potential to bulge out and pop on long voyages....
They are already bulged out when you buy them at the supermarket. If the can is not bulged, it's not ready. That thing is nasty.
“Best before” is too outdated, “best after” is the new norm.
Surströmming is…terrible - however at the end of the pandemic, we were having trouble maintaining enthusiasm and motivation at work. My colleagues were financially destitute and the future was uncertain, nobody wanted to be around others, which was a concern.
I make tattoos for a living and part of the job is keeping people laughing and keeping morale high.
So I decided to order a can of Surströmming and take one for the team.
We gathered outside as I cracked the can (under a bucket of water) - the stench could only be described as foul. Think of every description of Sex Panther in the film ‘Anchorman’.
But…everybody was curious, and it got every one of my colleagues and their clients out into the backyard in a show of solidarity (or to watch me make a cunt of myself). As soon as the can was exposed to the air, the flies descended. Hundreds of them.
People gagged. The smell was somehow worse around five metres away, rather than ground zero.
But I held down my vomit and I ate that rancid fish, thereby putting a smile on everyone’s face that day.
We bonded over the smell of rot, and somehow it brought morale back.
Surströmming has its uses.
The hero we don't deserve! One question though - does that crazy putrid rotten stuff not upset your stomach or give you the shits? I guarantee my stomach would be going wild
Ooh, that reminds me of Chicago's malort! No WAY do people enjoy it!!
Malört helps you become familiar with pain before the end of January. Or the end of whichever sports season that started well enough.
Those big spider-leg eyelashes they pay for and put on.
Poor fucker was like " :( i think it's dead"
Going to a children's performance, especially if their own kids aren't currently on stage
My one wish is to find out what the hell made them so popular
Kim had one of the first Hollywood sex videos and her mom leveraged a career for the family out of it
This is the dumbest thing I know but actually it made her so popular because it was right after Paris Hilton had a sex tape get leaked and because Kim K was her personal stylist and literally with her all the time, she was minimally important enough to leverage it (thanks to her mom) to launch her career. But it happened because of Paris Hiltons leak and how insane it was.
Yes, I agree, her connection to Paris Hilton and being her stylist (aka friend who comes over and helps her pick out clothes) was far more important to her becoming famous than her dad at the time.
Waking up before dawn, to work out
I do that, several times a week. I partially agree, the devil’s in the details: I don’t enjoy getting up and starting my workout, but while I’m doing it is okay, and I absolutely love *having worked out*.
I go running four or five times a week, often before breakfast. I absolutely hate running. I have been doing this for a good 10 years now and I can confidently state that there hasn't been a single run I enjoyed. Not one minute of it. But there also hasn't been a single run that I regret having done. For me, running has made an enormous difference to how I feel, I didn't start running until I was in my forties. I feel way better now than I did when I was in my twenties.
I struggle with this. I used to run (nothing major, just 1-2 miles a couple times a week). And like you I ALWAYS hated it. Like, I *might* be okay if I get just the right music going and it's nice weather or something, but that was rare.
How do you keep doing something you hate, despite knowing a) it's good for you and b) that afterwards you feel happy you did it?
It's such a weird thing.
I found that there were two things that helped me. At least a little bit. One is that I changed what's in my headphones. I always used to listen to music but I found that as much as I love music, it just made it a bit too easy to become background ambience. Regardless of what type of music I listened to. Eventually I started listening to podcasts and that worked way better. This forced me to somewhat concentrate on what I'm listening to and take my mind off from how hard running is.
The second was signing up to a race. I'd been running for years and had zero ambition to ever run a race. Until one day I just had this brain-fart idea of running a marathon. At that point I'd managed to run 10k maybe once or twice. Normally I used to do 3 to 5k at most. I was lightyears away from marathon distance. But having that goal gave me something to work towards and seeing the weekly progress and being able to run distances that in my wildest dreams I would never have thought I could ever do really spurred me on.
I ended up running my first marathon at age 55. I'm aiming for my third next year.
Nobody enjoys building the house.
But everyone enjoys living in it.
It's all "Little Red Hens."
competitive first person shooters like CoD. i swear the sweaty, intense, angry people have pushed out the "just got off work, want to unwind for an hour" crowd so everyone who plays is just pissed off, and even when they win its more about gloating than enioying the victory