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I love eating pussy but my partner isnt comfortable with me going down on her for fear of being "unclean". I dont know how to overcome the stigma yet she is always down to suck me. Ive never been in this position before. Help
Ask her to take a shower with you as part of foreplay.
Or ask if she'd rather shower alone and would be up for activities after? A full, thorough cleaning down there is not a sexy sight and not something I'd do as part of foreplay with my partner. It might be easier on her to wash while not being watched?
So glad someone else brought this up. I like taking a shower as part of foreplay with my partner but only if I'm already clean. Few things make me feel less sexy than washing my ass crack
I guess my logic (as a guy) was always "welp, they picked me, they definitely aren't going to un-pick me just because they see me cleaning myself"
Fairs fair though, I always want to respect boundaries
It's a double edged sword. Do I make myself look silly and show her my ass washing technique or do I risk having her think I just don't wash my ass? Lol
I think it helps to ignore what you see in porn/movies/TV and form realistic expectations. Either prep beforehand or accept the sillier/uncomfortable parts of the experience. There's no wrong answer imo as long as you both have a good time
Never thought of that. It must have looked silly on my part :D Could this lack of consideration come out as being cofident? "Let me wash up real quick and we can go". Damn, past me is stupid
Have you guys discussed planning some time to experiment with oral? It can seem unsexy to schedule sex, but it can actually be exciting (and can come with some fun sexting leading up to the “appointment”). She can plan to shower right before so she can relax about the fear of being unclean. Idk but that seems like something worth discussing. (Signed, A lady who doesn’t like receiving oral because I just can’t relax and enjoy it 🤷🏻♀️)
We had an issue where neither of us was happy with the frequency of having sex, so we planned it. It takes a week or two to get used to, but now I always look forward to certain days of the week, and the overall level of harmony is higher at our house. Oh, and going down is perhaps my favorite thing to do in sex, so everybody ends up pretty happy. Planning sex has many benefits aside from knowing when to take a shower (which is actually quite useful for both partners).
I've been in a tangentially similar boat as your GF. Wasn't worried about being unclean, but had trauma related to an abusive partner forcing me to accept oral. My boyfriend loves eating out but whenever his face was near my crotch I'd almost have a panic attack.
Kissing helped. He would kiss down my stomach, to my thigh, and continue down to my knee. A straight line of little kisses. Just a little flyby, so I could get used to his face being in that area. He did that a few times a week for like a month before I started being comfortable and relaxing enough for him to do more.
Perhaps do this for your girlfriend? Especially right after a shower if cleanliness is her main concern.
I think I've had an experience similar to yours. He didn't care if I was into it, didn't want to take any direction as to what I liked, and was also pretty transactional about sex. That on top of being raised to basically be ashamed of my body definitely gave me some hangups. It takes a lot of work and a lot of patience to get away from that headspace. I've come to find that kind of care and patience like you've described in your boyfriend a real turn on. Glad you found yourself a good one!
I went out with a woman like that once. I got her permission to clean it with some baby wipes first. That is all it took.
Just lick you fingers and give it a rub first. If you get the ones that are 99% water there is t much taste
Baby wipes in the bedroom are one of the best things ever
I greatly appreciate them, they help my meager dating prospects a great deal.
I dated a guy in college who at the time I thought was kind of average looking. Then he went down on me. Holy shit, elevated to God status.
We're still friends and he's married to a woman that seems to be constantly smiling.
I feel like we went to the same college. A very petite guy was literally known as the fucking god of going down. Decade + later women still bond over having been gifted with his attention.
Makes me think of Jared from Silicon Valley. Tall, lanky quiet type who somehow manages to land multiple beautiful women, leaving everyone else in confusion
"This guy fucks"
I think I worked with his grandpa. I work in assisted living and we had a resident who was an absolute sweetheart to his aides (no pervy old man comments). He was short, kind of average looking, and no little blue pills. He was also considerate - never had his lady friends over when his meds were due and always let us know when he didn't want to be disturbed.
He was apparently quite gifted and caused 3 women to go temporarily unresponsive during his time with us. We were always getting requests from our female residents to be moved to his table in the dining room or asked if we knew what activities he would be in. Residents always gossip, and apparently his oral skills always lived up to the hype.
James Brown is the god father of funk, this guy is the godfather of cunilingus
Yeah, it's a very, very fun art to perfect. And when you got it down, you make Sunday afternoons a very pleasant time for your woman.
I’ve dated two guys who thought like this. They were two of the best boyfriends I have ever had. I married the second one.
How’s the marriage? You two still eating each other?
I think they’re missing out
It's the opposite in my household. She just doesn't like it and doesn't want me to. It's a frustration of mine, honestly.
Edit: glad to know I'm not alone! We do have a healthy sex life regardless, and I'm thankful. I appreciate your input and encouragement.
My ex-wife didn't like when I went down on her because she was convinced I was only doing it in a transactional nature. She didn't like giving blow jobs, and in her mind I only did it because I was looking for one. Definitely not the case, I just like giving that much pleasure.
I had a gf who asked me what I liked about fingering her and I was like like, "Babe, do you not like it?" when she said she did like it, then I told her that was why I did it.
Exactly. My Girlfriend sometimes asks me "why" either during or afterwards. My answer is always the same. "Because I am happy when you feel good". I have the feeling she doesn't get it though, because she still asks me haha
Getting your partner to orgasm can be extremely arousing and validating.
Also takes the pressure off penetration later, if I end up finishing quickly she's already got off at least once before. And will orgasm faster she's already got off too.
"Gf sometimes asks me "why" either DURING or afterwords" I just imagined you in the middle of fingering your girl, and her squirming with pleasure, only to stop and look up at you and ask "why??" And it made me laugh. Next time i get a bj from my fiance im going to wait for eye contact and then just ask "WHY??" randomly to see how she responds lol wtf.
Calculon style “WHYYYY!?”
I've had some discussions with bi people, who have said that eating out a girl is much easier than a blowjob. doesn't hurt the jaw as much, can probably get the girl off much faster, etc.
so it's my (not scientific) opinion, that part of why girls don't want it is because of how much they don't like giving blow jobs and don't understand why I enjoy going down on them.
I did the science so you don't have to, and have done both.
Eating pussy: wears out the tongue and neck, but not quickly. You can change up speed/pressure to give the tongue/jaw a break. And you can discretely hold your head up to avoid neck strain for even longer. Could do that for an hour, A+.
Giving blowjobs: even for less than average sized penii, keeping the mouth open and applying suction fucks up your jaw pretty quickly, and there's movement back and forth which also messes with the neck. Plus your back. Since I have a bad back and small mouth, I got 15 bj minutes in me before it magically transforms into a handjob. D-.
I have chronic neck pain, like it's a daily struggle. I can be having a decent pain day and then give my husband head and cause a flare.
I've found that the standing with me kneeling position is best because I can just kinda get my mouth hole and dick level and not put added stress of holding my head up horizontally
As someone who has done both, this 100% tracks
My ex wasn't into the idea of me going down on her. Eventually we tried it. She orgasmed so hard I low-key thought she might have been having a seizure. Despite this she said she still didn't like me "kissing down there" and never wanted to do it again. I agree, super frustrating. (Edit spelling).
I'm in the same boat, my wife doesn't even like the idea of it, she also doesn't like the idea of giving me oral, so we just don't do it. I wish we did but I respect that she doesn't want to and still find other ways to enjoy our sex life.
My ex was like this. Always wanted me to go down on him, but the other way around was “gross”.
Needless to say, we weren’t sexually compatible and the relationship failed.
>*He said girls were smelly and gross*
He should've try a boy then.
As a representative of the boys, we don't want Matt. Maybe the non-binaries will take Matt.
Nah. Matt can handle Matt. Maybe the ACE crew will take him?
We might not desire or enjoy sex, but spreading lies to stop the enjoyment of others sexual adventures is not on. Fuck Matt (not that way)
As a subset of the ace community (demi) I want to also say that no amount of emotional connection would make us attracted to him. Maybe he could settle down with a nice RealDoll?
^^Beep ^^beep, ^^bop ^^bop.
We are the RealDoll collective.
We categorically reject Matt and all who spread disinformation and misinformation to shame other beings out of enjoying mutually gratifying and consensual sexual expression. Fuck Matt with a cactus.
All our AI homies hate Matt.
We have spoken.
^^Beep ^^Beep, ^^bop ^^bop.
Keep him away from us. We do not want him.
Let the incels take him. They probably have a lot in common.
This thread is incredible.
Succulent speaking we also do not want mat maybe he’ll have better luck with a pile of horse shit
Hard pass. Bros gonna need to sit alone for a while.
I’m a dude and I feel like I’ve met the particular Matt you’re talking about, fuck that guy indeed.
People named Matt be reading these comments like :/
That's the dude that discovered he's a fetishist for being stepped on, right? Last I heard he changed his name to Mat.
I think I used to be married to that Matt. Fuck you, Matt.
I haven't met him but fuck Matt that piece of shit
Yo and it's such a mindfuck when you're attempting to go down and then she says no you're like oh damn why what's wrong? Happened to me twice and I always felt weird about it.
I went to go down on this girl and she said "don't, I have an odor." I told her everyone has an odor down there and hers was no different than other women I'd been with. Her previous boyfriend had told her he wouldn't do it because she smelled bad. What an asshole.
Some asshole like Matt gave her a complex, probably. To hell with that guy!
My ex wouldn’t let me go down on her and I always took it as a personal insult. Now I know she must have dated a Matt!
My first two exes were like this, and are the reason that I
1. Am usually too self conscious to like getting eaten out
2. Have willingness to eat a girl out as a requirement
I know it doesn't have to make sense but it's my sexual boundary so suck my clit lol
Huh. This makes me wonder why "suck my clit" isn't a more popular insult.
I've tried using it before. It's because they just jump on the opportunity to say yes. It's like trying to offend a person by saying "eat this chocolate" and they're like "wow thanks, don't mind if I do."
Probably because too many people would want to accept the invitation.
I envy you for "suck my clit". I don't know a short form in German and "lutsch/saug meine Klitoris/meinen Kitzler" just doesn't sound as nice ;)
Saug meine klitzer sounds good to me.
> we weren’t sexually compatible
This is a thing that happens a lot of time but people negate this and pretend it's not a thing to just keep dating someone.
If you both likes sex then you GOTTA BE sexually compatible otherwise the relationship sinks. There's no other way around this.
Now if the couple is celibate then this is one less thing to worry about in a relationship.
best analogy I ever heard was that sex in a relationship is like the toilet in your house. it's not the most important thing in your house, it's not why you bought the house, and it's not what you talk about when you're describing your house. but if it's not working, you have to fix it RIGHT NOW because it is a very big deal.
Funny because replacing a toilet is such a cheap and easy quality of life upgrade. I'm always shocked by people who put with an old, uncomfortable or slow/bad flushing toilet for years and years.
A new toilet is under $200, takes less than an hour to install, and you use it EVERY DAY, multiple times a day.
If you're reading this and your toilet is giving your problems. *Replace it now.*
That is a superb analogy, thanks for sharing it.
This is why I believe no sex before marriage is the stupidest thing ever. I've read countless accounts of people on here who waited and once they did it found out they weren't compatible and wondering how it happened and how to fix it. Religion does a lot of people a disservice with this. They push the sanctity of marriage yet deny this major important part of it.
For years I've believed that disharmony in the bedroom will soon become disharmony in the relationship.
It depends if they feel entitled to blow jobs. Looking at you, Khaled
For people who don't know:
How the hell is this guy successful?? I just don’t get it. He’s dumb as a sack of rocks. Every video I see of him he can barely put a sentence together. I saw some other video of him trying to play guitar and it look like my three year old playing it.
> I saw some other video of him trying to play guitar and it look like my three year old playing it.
LOL I sent that one to my brother and he was just dying laughing. He's bad at **everything**
“Sufferig from success” is really relatable because we are all suffering from his success
God how this dude is famous and rich will forever blow my mind. He sucks on literally EVERY level.
Yet he won't suck the clit.
Even his reasoning was so… *sigh* you know, just fuck that guy… fuck…
He is both a Grammy award winner, and new York times list best selling author. Let that sink in
Wow. He just loudly announced that he's selfish and bad in bed. And he's proud of it. What a disappointment.
Watch him on Hot Ones. He's a massive disappointment on all angles yet there he is claiming victory no matter what things he's failed to eat.
Yessss that episode had me cracking up. The host was great in response "that's literally the definition of quitting" lmaoo
Isn't he the one that claims he didn't quit at Hot Ones as he was quitting?
Wow. He totally destroyed the mood in the room and doubled down on his misogyny even when he continued to fail to express his logic.
If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. But don’t act like you’re better than women. That’s just creepy and narcissistic. It’s not about YOU, dude.
Also he uses his wealth as an excuse for having never gone down even though he hasnt always wealthy. At least just own that you don't want to instead of making bullshit excuses
Everytime I’ve seen him he seems to embarrass himself.
Like when bought a guitar and plucked at it inexpertly like, you know, **I** would. But I’m not involved with music in any way.
I feel like both talent and personality and not really the prime reasons he’s successful.
WOWWWW FUCK THAT GUY.
“There are different rules for men and women”
Can't expect anything else from DJ Khaled
It's so fucked how he uses him buying the house and cars as an excuse not to. He wasn't born with money but *never* went down on a girl? I was never a fan anyway but he's lame af to me
It's okay, he might not be giving her head but I know she has someone who is
Check for any hot pool boys
Of all current musicians, I would have assumed DJ Khaled would go down. Guess you just never know.
That man eats everything but pussy
Seen him on hot ones?
Oh man that was so bad. Dude got through like one wing, stopped, and spent the next 10 minutes trying to convince the interviewer that he wasn’t giving up.
Between the cunnilingus and the wings the dude seems like kind of a fast quitter
He’s a 9 year old in a grown man’s body
And is practically illiterate.
Have you see him "playing" the Marley's guitar? I don't think his IQ reaches 90.
>Have you see him "playing" the Marley's guitar? I don't think his IQ reaches 90.
Well I was *trying* to forget that…thanks
Don’t expect to receive if you do not give.
EDIT: my point, which seems to have been misconstrued by some, is that everyone should do what they want and like. HOWEVER, if someone doesn’t want to (either side, giving or receiving) their partner should not expect, (meaning feel entitled to) said activity.
If someone likes giving but not receiving or vice versa then do your thing. It’s the sense of entitlement regarding oral that certain individuals feel that poses an issue.
dated a guy like that that wouldn’t go down on me but begged for me to suck him off. now i want to do it even less because why are you begging? that’s very unattractive.
if you don’t eat it, you’re wasting my time and i’m being so serious.
See that’s my problem. I love going down on dudes and love when they go down on me. Usually if the dude doesn’t eat I still do. Which is a bummer most times lol
That's okay with me, but I'm not going down on them either. I'd be fine with it as long as we were on the same page.
He wants his dick sucked but doesn't want to go down on me? Lol BYE
Very true. However In the begining of my relation ship, my girlfriend didn't want me going down on her. I literally begged her to return the favor. It took 3 years of begging but now she really enjoys it
My wife didn't let me eat her out until after she recovered from a really bad flu. She had a fever dream that she died and I couldn't keep a woman because I wasn't good at eating pussy. She had me dying laughing telling me this dream.
Every individual has the right to decide what sex act they are or aren't comfortable with. So if a dude isn't into going down on his lady, then that's fine, he's in charge of his body.
But I won't be fucking him.
Holy shit, those are a LOT of awards!! Thanks everybody.
This is it right here!
Everyone is entitled to their boundaries.
However, no one is entitled to sex with another person.
Anyone who feels that they are entitled to sex with another person can go fuck themselves.
Not everyone likes it.. but if you dont go down dont expect her to suck your dick..
I've met maybe two woman who didn't like oral. One was due to past trauma, the other due to anatomy. The latter had surgery to correct the issue and now enjoys it very much.
Edit due to multiple folks asking:
From what I understand since she didn't use medical terminology, the skin making up her clitoral hood was either too thick or too tight, making direct stimulation painful for her. The surgery was essentially a female circumcision (not the same as FGM horror stories we hear about). I've also read that the opposite can happen; where the skin around the clitoris can dull sensation and some women have surgery to increase sensitivity.
Yeah most women i met liked it but there are some wo dont want it or need it the others loved it to be honest haha
Huh. I’ve never had trauma. Never had an anatomy issue. Still I don’t like it so much because his tongue is weirdly cold? At least it’s colder than my body temperature. I’m sure he’s alive and warm but somehow he doesn’t feel like he is.
He also doesn’t really know what he’s doing. I like when he kisses me there and that he tries but I just can’t get off to it. I like the idea of the action but when I’m actually having it done to me it’s just very strange. I wonder if I’m just weird or inexperienced. He’s the only guy I’ve ever dated or been with (for the past few years) and we were each other’s firsts yet I can’t tell him how to improve because I don’t know what I want him to do.
I’ve also gotten way too used to masturbating, I can’t orgasm if I’m not the one doing it. He can try all he wants but if it’s not at a specific location at a specific pressure and a specific speed I can’t do it. He can make me feel good but he can’t make me climax.
I had never even really considered this ….
As a guy 95/100 times I go down on my wife I’m
about to get laid so it’s kind of a priority for me.
The other 5 times I just wanna game on my PC and drink beer and I know if she cums hard she’ll pass out 5 min later 😉
I think everyone is entitled to their own preferences. I would be more concerned about someone who doesn't give girls orgasms at all... Like if they are good with their hands or other methods then cool. Some will go down on girls but still have never made a girl cum. They just go down to get them wet enough to stick it in and then assume that since they got off the chick got off.
As a dude, I couldn’t be with a girl who wouldn’t go downtown so it’s fair game for a girl to feel the same. As long as the hygiene’s good I’ll stay down there as long as you need, I don’t understand what’s not to like!
So DJ Khaled then? I hate him.
I actually enjoy my wife’s orgasm more than my own. It’s like, “Hey, look at that. I did that. Amazing.”
Love this. I'm in one of the best sexual relationships of my life (in my 40s) because we both just want to out-do each other with orgasms. If I give her a mind-blowing orgasm, she is determined to blow my. . .mind as well. It's like the best competition because nobody loses.
It's fine as long as they're willing to compensate with their fingers. Fingers work better for me anyway.
It legitimately blows my mind a man can engage in a sexual encounter without using his tongue or his fingers?? Like I can’t even wrap my head around it lol.
Unfortunately I have lived that. Even was in a relationship with such a guy. :( and hence would never wish it upon anyone!! Better to be alone than with someone and still sexually frustrated!
As long as any preference works out for both involved partners, there's no issue.
Dated a guy like this. He wouldn't go down but expected to have been gone down on. So, i sucked his soul dry once and left him hanging after that. He literally got down on his knees to beg me for a blow job. I told him get lost until he can man up and eat pussy.
and did he?
He didn't deserve it then lmao.
Yeah but this way he knows what he's missing out on by not returning the favor. You'd be surprised what a single bj can do to a dude if you do it right
I don't think he deserved the first one lol
Haha the first one wasn't an act of kindness is what she's saying.
Dude gonna spend the rest of his life thinking of that BJ.
I think we dated the same guy. Got mad at me when I stopped blowing him once I asked him why he doesn’t go down on me. He said pussy is gross. Like what?? It’s ok to put your dick in but not eat? We didn’t last long after that discussion lol
> man up and eat pussy
Somebody has this on a bumper sticker next to "Cowgirls Rule" on their pickup in West Virginia.
So, i sucked his soul dry once and left him hanging after that.
^ The best revenge I’ve ever read. Laughing so hard. Take my upvote.
colossal W holy shit
It‘s fine as long as he is willing to work towards my orgasm in other ways.
If you expect head ya gotta give head.
It's fine, there's someone for everyone, if a guy doesn't want to go down on a woman I'm sure there are women who will be ok with that. Nobody is entitled to anything in a relationship. For me personally it would be a deal-breaker though, so it's good to be upfront about certain things to avoid later disappointments and problems in the relationship.
If gals are allowed to not like blowjobs, guys are allowed to not like going down.
That said, guys who think it's stupid/judge other guys for liking it are being ridiculous.