T O P
AtheneSchmidt

Its been 30 years. Wtf is this operating system? Where is the mouse? How do I...and I'm back at home.


magusmccormick

“Hello computer”


pudding7

"Keyboard? How quaint."


wakeupwill

You mean you have to use your *hands*? That's like a baby's toy!


Whitealroker1

Elijahs first role


amateurrocketeer

Transparent aluminum?!?


BigBobby2016

I’m so happy someone posted this comment already! I’m going to go look for a clip on Youtube. Edited to Add: https://youtu.be/hShY6xZWVGE


Filobel

Oh shit, I thought it was a reference to IT Crowd, I'd never seen that one. Is IT Crowd's bit a reference to that? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu88J5JL8Hw


AtheneSchmidt

YASS. Go Scotty!


proactivepistachio

So you don't know how to use the 3 seashells?


AtheneSchmidt

No, but if I curse enough, I'll have enough tickets to wipe.


ItaSchlongburger

You are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute…


prophetcat

Don't eat the burgers. You see any cows around?


Clienterror

This is a rat burger?


ThaVolt

Damn good rat burger.


smallangrynerd

Imagine giving someone from 92 a smartphone


XenonBG

I think whoever owned a desktop PC at the time would be quick to adapt. Maybe not in five minutes, but still quick. Icons existed, and touchscreens were also not unheard of.


d645b773b320997e1540

I think we'd have struggled most with the gestures though. swiping in certain directions to get various menus to appear? that would've confused the shit out of me back then. and then I'd be stuck cause I wouldn't find netscape. and even if I realized there's another browser, what's up with altavista!?


spon000

Put the fish in your ear!


AtheneSchmidt

Dude, if I came back with a babble fish, that was 5 min well spent.


agreeingstorm9

There's a scene in Horizon Forbidden West where the protagonist is using a computer but she's the only one who can see it. The NPCs ask if she's ok or needs medical help.


IREMSHOT

Same happens in Zero Dawn when she opens some doors


Grays42

Happens in Frozen Wilds too, at the dam. She messes with the doors and the dude she was with comments that he thought she was going crazy.


emnuff

To be fair i think it's because of her focus. Could be wrong though, only played Zero Dawn


appleparkfive

Yeah it is Also, Forbidden West is amazing. It has the same thing with Zero Dawn where it's kinda slow at first but then ramps up to crazy town.


Kuli24

Welcome to Apple. We've removed your one and only click button for simplicity. Have a nice day.


AtheneSchmidt

Oh, Gods, if it's an Apple, I am really screwed.


gekalx

put the data shard into your socket


An0ther_reddit0r

Different stocks and new massive companies that started picking up 30 years ago. Plus as someone mentioned before. Some winning lottery numbers lol


akaghi

My first thought was just what stocks are the most valuable. I could probably remember a few company names. Lotto numbers and dates? Quick money sure but I'm never going to remember Powerball or mega millions numbers lol.


Zerowantuthri

Write the numbers on your arm.


fordprecept

Who uses a pen in 2052?


wozblar

people who grew up using pens most likely


i_hate_cate

Who says I'll use a pen?


cgtdream

Just really the first few, or up and until the last number, then just remember their general area (30s, 40s, tens, etc) and just purchase 10 lotto tickets, each with a different last number in the known range.


AlanParsonsProject11

Super bowl winners is so much easier to remember than lottery tickets


captainkaba

You could also just write it on your wrist.


arca5

They don’t have writing tools in the future, no one manually projects things on other objects.


Hmb556

For a few hundred million I'll bite the numbers into my arm


pcbx26

Grays Sports Almanac


bravoitaliano

Sports. Statistics. You know, you got a real attitude problem, Tannen.


TGOTR

Only good until the year 2000 though.


TheRealBroseph

Gotta get the next edition for 2000-2050


final_alt_11

If I'm dead yet


Frosty_Beer_99

What if you’re not dead yet?


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Shrug Only paid for the 5 minutes


mpgd

I'd call my own number and ask for advice on, if you could go back in time what would you have done differently? I'm Pretty sure I'll have the same number in 30 years


Nomulite

"I would change my number", and your future self hangs up.


DoctorCaptainSpacey

This. If I am, how... I'd like to know if these weird health issues are serious or what, you know?


Caninya

Welcome to 2022 OP! A lot has changed since 1992. Hope you're ready!


[deleted]

But can you tell me what to search‽


aPirateNamedBeef

Leicester City to win the premier league in 2015-16 Season. George Mason to reach final four 2006 Patriots to win Superbowl 2001 Buy APPL, MNST, AMZN,


[deleted]

Thank you, will meet again in 30 years


aPirateNamedBeef

Wont that just be later today from my point of view?


[deleted]

Welll... yeah... I'm confused


Murderface__

The plot of every time travel movie


[deleted]

True


[deleted]

[удалено]


JustYourBiBestie

How were the last 30 years btw


[deleted]

Bit of a roller coster tbh


onetwentyeight

Better luck next time.


Acornelectron

OP, wtf did you do?!? https://i.imgur.com/bHshD1h.jpg


[deleted]

Wtf did I do


Matisaro

You are back in the past but I would have told you to mine bitcoin the minute a google search comes back with anything. Also buy google.


Tiek00n

Don't even need to mine Bitcoin. "In late 2010, buy $1,000 of Bitcoin, it'll be like a few cents per coin. Keep the coins locally on your computer, not in an online exchange. Sell $1M worth when it hits $1000 per coin. Buy those coins back when it hits $100 per coin. Sell at least $10M spread over several transactions at $50k per coin. Consult with accountants along the way so that you can minimize your legal tax burden, but don't try to evade paying taxes, the IRS will find you.


zomnombielus

So wouldn't this tactic change the course of the Bitcoin Market as we know it today?


AngryT-Rex

In general, probably no - at $1k/coin, a $1m transaction wouldn't tank the market: many times more than that was bought and sold daily. Today, the 24-hour trading volume was $48 billion. $10m or whatever is a drop in the bucket. You'd need to increase those numbers by several orders of magnitude to be tanking the market or whatever. I mean, if we're talking time-travel there is always "the butterfly effect" and maybe what you eat for breakfast will tank the market. But in terms of basics, no.


spingus

what's a google? but def buy appl. Maybe not right this second, but when it really crashes hard in a few years, buy all you can. And soon an online bookstore will become the dominant way to buy books. Buy as much of that as you can too...and don't sell it in 99 however disappointed you are.


Matisaro

The best part of my plan is when google becomes a thing it will trigger the memory because bitcoin came later. So the google is the "dude your future self was not a hoax, lets figure this bitcoin out".


cheapdad

> Buy APPL For most of 1992, AAPL was around $0.40-$0.50 (relative to today's $150/share). As late as 2004, AAPL was still around $0.40-$0.50. You'll spend 12 years wondering if that "visit to the future" was real, or some kind of illusion, something you made up in your head. Then you'll sell your AAPL stock and watch it go up 300x in value over the next 18 years.


PoopBreathSmellsBad

Stock is AAPL btw


PacoTaco321

I don't know, Monster Beverage Corp. wouldn't be at the top of my list of stocks to buy. Edit: I get it. I assumed they fucked up spelling MSFT.


Brooksywashere

Sits between 0.03 and 0.06 USD in 1992 and as of this moment it’s 87.7 USD. Not a bad investment


metamaoz

They had the highest returns


metamaoz

Up almost 20000% in 20 years


Squid_Contestant_69

https://www.investopedia.com/articles/investing/022716/5-best-performing-stocks-last-20-years-gmcr-celg.asp


Recklen

When you get back please tell college age me to bang that girl who opened her door in a just a towel. No, you (I) didn't arrive early. Yes, she was into you. \#regrets


BlueKnightBrownHorse

I think a lot of us have at least one of these... Young men sure are dense.


LebLift

To be fair, a LOT of us see "signs" when they aren't really there, and then end up making an idiot of ourselves. Its far safer to just assume that the girl isn't attracted to you, and that its all a misunderstanding or something.


BlueKnightBrownHorse

Too much information, but the example I'm talking about is playing the piano for a girl, she sat down on the narrow piano bench next to me, and then literally flipped around and straddled me. She probably wanted more than a hug. LoL Actually typing that out, how the fuck could a person be that dense LOL well I was pretty young.


moashwillberedeemed

I’m quite embarrassed by mine and I remember it clear as day 20 years later. I was 16 and I had a crush on this girl from the time we were 12. She knew I always had a thing for her, but I grew from 5’9, 200 lbs to 6’, 170 lbs from age 15 to 16 and with that gained a lot of confidence and asked her out. We went to a movie together and sat up in the corner. There was this scene where the guy really wanted to kiss the girl, but lacked the courage. The girl I’m with keeps gawking at it and shaking her head “if he wants to kiss her he should just do it.” *looks at me* “seriously, if he wants to kiss her he needs to just kiss her.” *leans closer to me.* And I’m sitting there “man, I really want to kiss her, but I have no idea if she would be cool with it. God I wish she would just give me a sign.” I did not kiss her.


Recklen

Sometimes I think it's a miracle we survive as a species. /s


Recklen

Man, I bet this one keeps you awake at night.


cardinal29

Just buy Apple, early crypto - but then get out early, too. Move to Canada


[deleted]

Thanks mate, see ya in 30 years


-SomeKindOfSoup

Bro, Tool has so much discography since '92 Grab a bong and the hi-fis.


Ronathan64

No 1992 wasn’t 30 years ago. That was 20 years ago. IT WAS NOT 30 YEARS AGO!!! IT. CAN‘T. BE.


TheBahamaLlama

9/11 was over 20 years ago. We old.


eastherbunni

But 1992 was only 10 years ago right? ...Right??


__-d-__

"A song of ice and fire complete collection pdf"


100_percentwrong-AMA

Top result: An interview with GRRM, now over 100 years old, discussing the upcoming release of another chapter from Winds of Winter.


NebularRavensWinter

I cannot describe in words how much I hate this comment.


stickymaplesyrup

Just accept the fact that it doesn't matter if he finishes it and stop caring about it. I've got to the point where I feel like if he does, great, I'll probably read it, but if he doesn't I'm not bothered. He's been writing so long that I've descended into apathy.


LebLift

"After George's death, the writing team from Season 8 of Game of Thrones took up the mantle to finish his work..."


sbrooks84

no no no. KILL IT WITH FIRE NOW. LebLift is officially the most evil person on Reddit. Hope you are happy with yourself


[deleted]

"404 Error, not found"


Aroundeeq

Nice! I'll download a copy of *Winter is Coming: The Night King Saga*


haysoos2

Unfortunately George's blog says it will for sure be ready by the next April.


SpaceLemming

Heard it’ll be released on the 1st.


basedlandchad20

by George RR Martin and Brandon Sanderson


D-Rez

Winning lottery draws, the dates and the numbers.


NYCHReddit

And look at stock history


manatwork01

this is what I would look up. Much easier to memorize a ticker symbol.


Rosetti

Yeah, but you also need the startup capital to invest. Loterry winnings + investment into stocks is the gold standard imo.


TGOTR

If you have your phone, snap a picture of the screen.


manatwork01

It says you were transported. Without more info I'd assume naked ala terminator.


therealphiba

Well if I’m naked at a computer for 5 minutes I know what I’m doing! : )


02K30C1

What will you do with the remaining 4 minutes and 45 seconds?


therealphiba

I think it might take me more than 15 seconds (to buy some clothes online)!


02K30C1

Amazon’s “instant delivery” 30 years from now… teleported directly to you, and free for Prime members!


ZannX

Beating off to people who are yet to be born?


mmylo

If you had the cash, I’d do stocks and not lottery. I feel like there’s too much publicity around lottery winnings, so I would rather quietly do well in the stock market than publicly win the lottery.


i-am-your-god-now

I’d do both. If you’re worried about the publicity, maybe get the numbers for a smaller prize, then put all that into the stock market.


duffman13jws

Lottery is too random too - no telling if I'd create a butterfly effect just by existing and purchasing the ticket differently. Looking up the largest gainers in the stock market for the next 5 years would be a much better way to go, and less up to complete random chance.


3rdDegreeBurn

Imagine during your search 30 years ago you learned about Bitcoin and decide to go all in but due to the butterfly effect the creator of Bitcoin passes away in a car accident leading to it never being created.


tenemu

Or your large purchase in Bitcoin early on changes how other people invest early on so it never takes off.


behindtimes

The butterfly effect is real! It was suppose to be blackberry and ask Jeeves, not The iPhone and Google!


saras-husband

You should look up the ones where there were no winners the week before the big win. That way you don't have to share it.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

The lottery has been illegal since gambling destroyed civilization in 2045. Police have been notified of this unauthorized search and are closing in on you as we speak


Sad-Quit-303

Well they better get there in 5 minutes or less... besides, what would happen if they did arrest you? Get frog marched to the car and poof on the way back to the station?


Greco_King

Time travelers wife. This happens in that movie lol


ThinWhiteRogue

"how to use future computer"


NewTech20

1. See how when me and my friends/family died via obituaries. If preventable, I'll warn them. 2. Stock price charts. 3. Superbowl Winners are easy to remember. 4. If I can take things back with, I'm taking the computer and selling it for millions to whichever company in 2022 pays the most. 5. "Best advancements in the last 30 years" quickly to see what I can look forward to!


duffman13jws

> Superbowl Winners are easy to remember. > Not just that, but if you're making those bets in the preseason, the payouts are going to be way higher than just 2:1


W00DERS0N

Especially if you catch an underdog at 100:1 or better. Someone mentioned 2001 Pats, thatd be a Greene to have locked in.


vyomafc

Leicester city winning Premier League (soccer) in 2015-16 was 5000:1


ANewLeaf2020

Superbowl one is great.. instead of betting on the game, you bet at the beginning of the season for the team to win it all. That way even if they dominate the whole season, your odds and payouts remain the same.


MrTallFrog

As someone who loves football, would 100% do baseball or basketball as to not spoil football for myself. But yeah, remembering what teams win for a 5 year stretch would be easier then remembering loto numbers.


Ceyram

Best performing stocks over the last 30 years, recent wars and outcomes, a world map (see if anything has changed), world population (interesting to see if it has started to decline), percentage of world energy generated by renewable sources, and when did the Leafs win a Stanley Cup last.


B_Sharp_or_B_Flat

1967


Ceyram

I’d be so disappointed


GoodDriverMan

Leafs catching strays in an AskReddit. Classic


Skook10

It's tradition.


UndulatingPasta

Ultraporn


SapphireSire

Found the professor, Hubert Farnsworth.


chalk_in_boots

I was going to say just go to pornhub and look at top categories to see what weird shit we got up to.


idontknow2976

VR Big Tit Step-Rhino big cock in 12k ultra HD with automatic interactive BJ machine


tibarr1454

They said 30 years, that feels more like 3 years.


Guythatgetslaidalot

"Best stocks of 2022"


GaylordNyx

Correction "2023


Guythatgetslaidalot

That too, Depending on how fast Amazon ships stuff in the future I could probably download an Ebook Almanac and play Back to the Future.


re_nonsequiturs

I take a moment to be fucking relieved there's still enough infrastructure that it's possible to be sitting at a computer. Then I do a search for "what do you wish you'd invested in 25 years ago"


johnnycyberpunk

You spend 4 of your 5 minutes accepting cookies, ads, trackers, and subscribing so you can even run a search.


Inven13

First: Myself, I want to know if I'm dead. If I'm still alive: What's the biggest company that doesn't exist yet and when did they launched their IPO. Then I'll start saving all my money until the day they launch it and then spend all my saved money on stocks. If I'm dead: Porn


crazy-diam0nd

What if you died of porn?


Inven13

What if?


elusiveclownface

Probably the best answer invest in a start up that doesn’t yet exist


Sleestak714

How I operate Windows 47 without cerebral implants and AR contacts.


[deleted]

[удалено]


JeffFromSchool

This would be my first 3 minutes, then when I've realized I've wasted more than 50% of my time, I'd just start searching the shit I thought of in the first 10 seconds.


metamaoz

Lose train of thought and check up nearest sandwich shop


OSUfan88

** "FUCK! I forgot what I was doing. This is critical information! I have to focus!" ** ...gets lost in thought... ** ""FUCK! I forgot what I was doing. This is critical information! I have to focus!"


seeingredd-it

You have described most work days of the self-employed.


duracellchipmunk

Look up every sports championship in 2023. Top stocks over the past 30 years. Price of Bitcoin just in case.


Smile_Candid

Ah the biff tannen method


FemaleDadClone

It was Marty McFly’s idea, though


ebow77

Good point, butthead.


FemaleDadClone

Better a butthead than…chicken…


Epsilon497

Nobody calls me chicken


Fed_up_with_Reddit

Hey! Why don’t you make like a tree and get out of here!


china-blast

It's *leave*, you idiot! "Make like a tree, and leave." You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong


jessejuggler

I love you guys so much. These scenes were playing ind my head as soon as this thread showed up


MeanUhReddit

Honestly I’d probably just search up my name for no reason.. Like did I become the next harry styles or am I still working at McDonald’s?


joeyicecream

Obituary for the day after you return to your time


ViciousMihael

Two-sentence horror stories.


lunas2525

The search i do would likely change my future and so like doc says "nobody should know too much about their own destiny"


Acrobatic_Pandas

Am I dead ye.... no, I don't want to know that. Maybe I'm a shark attack victim. Oh god what if there's video footage? What if that's what comes up when I google my name? Okay, think. Think... We can do this. We have 4.5 minutes left. Do I google my kids names? No. Same thing. Can't risk seeing a death. Something easy..... Donald trump prison. No, who cares. I don't need to waste time on this. Oh god I have four minutes left and I can't think of anything. Thirty years. Someone born the day I left would be 30 right now. That's insane. 3.75 mins left. What to do...what to do.... Most popular porn video of last decade.


HappyTheWingedCat

Only to find something even more scarring than your death, the most popular sex tape of the last decade is your leaked tape.


cannabondage420

I would actually be pretty proud.


_annie_bird

As long as the sex tape and death tape aren’t the same.


Heisenberg-333

I would first look up this post on reddit, see the comments and then try to search based on that within five minutes.


[deleted]

You'll waste all your time


Shroobite

The dates of death for a bunch of major politicians and celebrities. Surely there's someone willing to bet on that.


Supperdjdodo

Then you’ll win one bet awfully right and nobody ever wants to bet with you and your odly specific dates anymore.


Max_Fenig

Wait, the computer works? There's power? Internet? Wasn't expecting that!


[deleted]

Yes! somehow humanity hasn't gone extinct


Bijoe

Welcome to vault 101!


BoxGroundbreaking687

half life 3


cyclejones

obituaries for myself, my wife, my children: Hopefully everyone is still alive, but have the opportunity to change outcomes if anything was avoidable by making a different decision. Stock trends. major sporting event outcomes/biggest upsets.


RepresentativeCry359

Best stocks of the last 30 years


Subsinuous

2023 winning lotto numbers.


Volosa_Golddragon

Very important question, can I grab the computer and will it come with me after the 5 minutes? If yes then I'm taking it with me to have the best computer for 30+ years.


[deleted]

Unfortunately, no, that's not how it works


Volosa_Golddragon

Well I tried, I'd probably just download/write a bunch of stuff about big games and winning lottery numbers and then bid and buy them.


thomas4004

If my brothers and sisters are still alive.


Dahns

"Half Life 3 ? -Nope -Ugh take me back to the past"


PresidentBaguetti

Hunter x Hunter ending


Kannan691

Search results:"Sorry, the author died around the middle of the last few arcs" or worse, it is a mid ending


bloopoopdoop

cure for cancer


FlowersForMegatron

“Mmhm mmhm I recognize some of these words…”


Kirome

sexbots


stylepandi

Crime rates for the past five years to decide if my country is a safe place to live or relocate to a more peaceful place.


DonOdini

Lottery tickets for 2023


Mad_Aeric

I'm giving myself 5 minutes from seeing the prompt to come up with stuff to search: list of countries with political revolutions startup company success stories surprising technological advancements wars with million+ casualties global population And I'm out of time. hopefully that would give me both investment clues, and a super quick overview of how fucked humanity is.


Your_Mom_A_Squirter

Lottery numbers, easiest way to make money. Stocks if I have time as well, why not, more money is always better!


crazy-diam0nd

Get the lottery numbers for a middle-tier jackpot, even if you share it. Nothing news-worthy, keep it under the radar. THEN get the best stock IPOs of the next few years, so you can multiply your winnings.


Funkysoulninja

Did the Devils win the cup.


JustCryptastic

Value of bitcoin


Princess_Moon_Butt

And if it's now basically zero, google "What killed Bitcoin" and figure out when to jump into what.


T3_ttv

How to build a time machine. Then I’m going to travel to the same point in time and kill me from 10 mins ago that just started searching how to build a time machine. Tho.. that means when I’m searching after my time machine I will get killed by a future me… But that person that just killed me had to be killed so how did the first me ever google that without getting killed??