By - killywayx
driving an 18 wheeler.... they shit when i get out.....it is just a truck.....i can drive a semi, too
I’ve been in C-130s with women flying in various crew positions lots of times. Pilot, Co Pilot, Engineer, Loadmaster. It’s just a machine designed to be flown by people.
My hair has been shedding and thinning as I've gotten into my late 20s and I'm just having a meltdown about it. Why do I do?? Why isn't it thicker anymore?
Grow a mustache.
How dare you, my mother, sisters and aunts have glorious moustaches!
\*PCOS has entered the chat\*
EDIT: Well, this comment really took off! Thanks for all the awards, kind folks!Many people have asked, so have yourselves some education: [https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos/](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos/)
Also, loving the impromptu community that appeared in the comments!
me and my chin hairs feel *seen*
ETA: everyone talking abt their chin hairs is bringing me peace. we all in this together 😌☝🏾
Been plucking the same one for years and now, all of the sudden, it's gone. So what's up? Is it waiting in ambush for me to drop my guard? Has it relocated to a safer environment? I'm totally off kilter here.
It’s going to show up, full grown, at some point during the day, when you left the house without so much as a tiny rasp. It will take you from zero to nanny goat at the worst possible moment.
Mine returned grey last month. I’ve never been so offended in all my life.
I have this insane straight up clear one that grows out of the side of my nose and I can only catch it in the perfect light. I will be loooooking for this bitch and then the next day glance and realize it’s like an inch long :/
My Dad had one of these, didn't show up until he was in his mid-eighties. He would not let me pull it. I harassed him every time I saw it. Mother would just sit back and laugh. They've been gone about 5 years; I miss them daily.
Mine came in blindingly white, three times thicker, and brought a curly friend. Excuse me hormones and aging but how absolutely dare you?
The thick white ones are so painful too… it’s like they grow hooks or something 😂
I think they're connected to the bone! It's unreal how hard I have to pull on those things.
Your literal only other comment is a personal account of butt chugging hard liquor.
My wife lost her hair as she underwent chemo for breast cancer.
She is happy that her head hair, and eyebrows, and body hair is returning.
But her 'hag hairs' as she calls them?
Not so welcome :-)
(Me? I am just ecstatic at any sign of her recovery!)
I’ve never laughed so hard in my life. currently sitting at my desk plucking chin hairs (due to
PCOS) while i got dudes in my DM’s who can’t even grow a full beard asking me why i act the way i do.
I own no less than 7 tweezers.
I lost my tweezers for a week and was distraught and kept fiddling with my chin 😭
I only tweeze my eyebrows.
But have to shave about twice a week.
Oftentimes I step in the shower (yes I do it there) and ask myself - yes or no?
This morning it was no, but it will probably be tes tomorrow.
I'm a guy and have a beard, yet our situations are similar. Tweeze the unibrow, shave the outsides of the eyebrows down onto the cheeks. If I let it grow I'm pretty sure my eyebrows would complete a half circle attached to my beard.
Oh and tweeze the crooks of my nose now, trim nose hair, and my barber trimmed inside my ears for the first time the other day.
But the nipple hair circles are finally starting to connect to the rest of the chest hair, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
Dang it I was trying to lurk quietly and you call me out like that
"See this line upon my lip?
See this unexpected strip?
See this hair?" she said with doubt.
"... what the *fuck* is that about?"
Growing up, I was bullied by most of my classmates about my facial hair. I felt super ugly and gross when they would laugh at me or ask me if I was a boy. And I always thought I was not normal. In late high school I got diagnosed with PCOS and hirsutism and my PCP was really helpful in educating me about them. She even told me that many women have it and I don’t have to feel ashamed of myself. I tried electrolysis (it didn’t help much) and bleaching in my first year of college, and then COVID hit. I have been wearing my mask consistently since the start of COVID so I don’t have to deal with people staring at my upper lip area. Knowing female friends who have struggled with facial hair and supporting each other has given me self-confidence in being who I am.
As a fellow bearded lady masks were the best thing to ever happen! I love that I could grow my ‘stache n chin hairs in secret… I’ve gotten a lot more confident about it so I’ll go maskless even if I haven’t removed hair recently! PCOS and hormonal imbalances are a fucking bitch!!
Take their shirt off.
I have a vivid memory of being 10 or 11 during a very hot summer afternoon. It was right after school and the boys popped their shirts off, so I did too.
I was so confused when they all gave me shit and told me to put my shirt back on; we looked the same.
I didn’t look the same as the boys at 10, but at 8 I still did. However, that was the summer when, first day of summer vacation, going outside to play on the swing set in our backyard, my mom told me I had to put a shirt on. In our own backyard. *Technically*, the neighbors could see IF they had binoculars, or stood right at the edge of our property, but what a blow to my childhood freedom THAT was! It was just after second grade; starting third grade, my mom bought for me half-length undershirts for girls- think thin cotton sports bra, which I’d say was a sort of pre training bra. I got my first training bra (I think) when I turned 10, and j-u-u-u-s-t starting to develop.
Around age 8 I implicitly got the message from my parents that I had to start wearing one piece bathing suits. I could sort of see why because I started developing breasts already and I was embarrassed (puberty hit at age 9). Before that I had always worn briefs and I hated the cold wet feeling on my stomach from the fabric. On the other hand I refused to wear bikinis because that would have made the breasts even more explicit. Childhood was never the same after that, sigh. Stupid genes.
Edit: a word and a sentence to clarify
One of my favorite memories is packing up my house with my parents when I was 7. It was 100 degrees. My dad took his shirt off, and so did I. At first my parents started to be like uhh and then they were like carry on little friend ! Idk why but it was such a pivotal moment for me in terms of gender equality and I still have a really great relationship with them to this day. They were adamant that anything boys are encouraged to do, girls should be as well
I just shared this but one time when I was like 9, my dad, brother, and I drove from our house in central Florida to south Florisa to visit my uncle. It was late at night and were like walking around the pool and the boys all take their shirts off because it's super hot and we were being silly. They said I could feel free to take mine off but I, at like 9, felt like I actually couldn't because I was a girl. It makes me feel super loved and supported they said I could play just like them but sad that even so young I felt I couldn't. My dad and uncle were really wonderful men
I remember giving a girl a hard time because she took her shirt off under similar circumstances. There's four of us boys and one young girl. She couldn't figure out why she couldn't take her shirt off. To be honest I was just trying to protect her because everything I had been told and seen up to that point was that girls wear shirts. This was back in the early '70s.
Moved into my first apartment by myself earlier this year and I’m almost always shirtless now. Who wants to deal with sweat in the summer when you can just air out? I stopped wearing a bra 10 years ago because my A cups don’t need the support. The freedom is INCREDIBLE. I only get bummed out that I have to put a shirt on to water my outdoor plants or get the mail.
Sounds amazing. But the feeling of my boob skin touching my other skin makes my brain feel weird and not in a good way lol. I just can’t. But at the same time I hate bras.
Edit: for those who have no idea what I mean this [boob separator](https://www.pelicanmanufacturing.com.au/product/breast-separator/) has a great image.
I hate that my boobs touch my other skin, I thought it was just me
I can’t stand it either. Do y’all do the shirt tuck?
YES! The shirt tuck underneath and sometimes between if I'm laying down.
> I stopped wearing a bra 10 years ago because my A cups don’t need the support.
JEALOUS = ME
I had breast cancer. I joined the liege of “those without nipples”
I’m going to walk shirtless soon. See how fast the cops get called.
I chose the word liege. Feel how you feel about that. Love you!
Also: you aren’t living your best life if you don’t own a set or sets of temporary tattoo nipples. They are cheap and HOURS of entertainment. They also make silicone ones with 3d nipples for date nights.
They do have excellent tattoos now. But I can wear ALL OF THE WHITE SHIRTS everywhere. I love being nipple free. It looks odd when I put them on at this point lol.
If you haven’t seen Tig Notaro’s girl interrupted special, she talks about her experience with cancer and having a double mastectomy. She also takes her shirt off during it and just goes on like it’s no big deal.
Thanks for this. I'm having a mastectomy on Friday. Happy to get the cancer out, not excited for the process though.
Hope your surgery went well and you're feeling better soon 🌷
My bff of the last 45 years had a double mastectomy about three years ago when her breast cancer returned. She got reconstruction and then got the most beautiful cherry blossom tattoos over her new breasts. She’s recently started dating the most lovely man, a retired forest ranger, and it’s so good to see her well and enjoying life.
Pee standing up
Freedom is but a funnel away
Yea who doesn't want to carry a piss funnel in their purse.
No. BackLASH, not backSPLASH
There’s backsplash when us guys do it too.
Yet if I pee sitting down I'm a lesser man. Weird shit.
After I said something like this one day, my grandpa told me like fifteen years ago, "why the hell would you pee standing up all the time. You get piss everywhere, and it's not comfortable. Sit your ass down!" My grandpa was a veteran, managed a steel mill for 35 years, could rebuild a car up until his 85th birthday, could design and build complex woodwork in a day (I woke up one day, and he had built a complete workbench with drawers from 7 to 10 am. The next day he used that workbench to build a park bench in four hours) and literally looked like a 5'1" dwarf who got teleported to the modern world.
I now feel zero shame about peeing sitting down. It's comfortable.
Plot twist: he was a Dwarf, but because of his intense love of woodworking and shunning masonry, in all contravention of Dwarven custom, he was excommunicated and came to live in secret with humans where he could explore his passion for carpentry and be lauded for it, rather than shamed.
Found my next DnD character
Goddamn! This was just off-the-cuff, how did I not consider that?! Brilliant!
This was such a wholesome moment
I get this. I know a girl who has several times made fun of her boyfriend and laughing saying he pees sitting down in the morning.
All I can think is "and?"
My silence and utter disinterest is the best I can do in that situation.
I rather think men who pee sitting down are superior. (I'm hyperbolizing for silliness). But like seriously, it makes less of a mess so that's a smart move.
Man sitting to piss (and get some goddamn peace and quiet for *two minutes*)
I don’t sit to piss, I piss to sit.
First thing in the morning still half asleep I’m gonna sit. Drunk at home ima sit. So tired I can’t see straight, ima sit. At work in a 120° port-a-potty, Ima leave and pee on the bosses truck tire.
my best friend always just pulls her skirt up does something with her hand and pees standing against the wall when she’s drunk. saves lots of time compared to going on a bender with other ladies. I think it’s cool but I wouldn’t high five her after that💦
If I had to guess she is pulling back, so the path is unobstructed and directed more forwards.
I’m a frequent hiker and trail runner and I’ve taught myself to pee standing up, as long as I’m wearing shorts or a skirt. It’s so much more convenient. As long as it’s not a busy trail, I can just duck between some trees rather than going 50 feet off trail across downed trees and what not.
Have hairy underarms
I noticed my older SIL had hairy underarms, like REALLY hairy. When I was a kid and noticed it I asked her why she had hair there and she said "it keeps me warm in winter." LOL I love that woman.
When I first saw this it was an older sister's friend and she would confidently throw her arms up in the air. My little teenage head exploded. I was almost mad nobody told me that was an option. Like "Wait, we can do that???" Then I thought about it and realized nobody is going to call the cops on you to come kick your door in if you don't shave. Never went back.
Shave your hair off.
One of our female teachers in high school shaved their head for St. Baldricks Foundation and then she kept it like that for a few years after a few kids made fun of her for being bald.
She owned the shit out of them. I will be honest, I had her and I did not like her but I have so much respect for her and completely changed my opinion of her after that. We still keep in touch 10 years later.
I had one of those teachers. I appreciated her more as I got older. The shit she managed to impress upon us even with the public education restrictions…. Ms. Vicki Fowler, you’re a boss bitch and I’m so grateful for you.
I also have one! I actually call her my soul-mom. I had her for History in 8th grade, English in 9th, and then when I was gearing up to become a single mother? She responded to a Facebook post I made, she gave me a job, and helped me fill out all of the paperwork needed to get on my feet for the first time. I had a horribly abusive childhood, and she was none the wiser until I began to work for her. She began to see the broken child in ME, and she never stopped believing in my ability to do better.
Her and her husband decided not to have children due to genetic risk but my son calls them his grandparents…and I like to think it’s worth something. I’m forever grateful to have finally found a mom when I was 27 (I’m 29 now).
*I quit that job a year ago in order to respect our relationship, and it was the right choice in the best possible ways.
I did it and women everywhere told me how badly they wanted to do it but “couldn’t.” Best time of my life. I want to shave it again every day.
I *am* a lesbian but femme so less offensive I guess? I mean I got a lot of hate from men but women loved it.
Also a mostly straight passing lesbian who recently shaved most of my hair off. Also way ok with the upturned nose looks I get from men lol.
Some women can rock the shaved look very well, f the haters.
The men who do check it out are respectful and tasteful about it and they get a knowing bro nod from me in return. I mostly notice it at my front desk job when I've talked to someone on the phone and then see them in person 1-3 hours later. They spoke to me over the phone but then for some reason weren't expecting what they encounter in person. Every once in a while, a lady-attracted person will come in, see the vibe, be similarly thrown off, but then the shock will slide into appreciation. "Are you?... oh! um... heh... yeah." Bro nod.
And getting your hair cut short. The amount of times I heard people bitching and moaning about me “ruining” ✨my beautiful hair✨made poor teenage me so hesitant and insecure.
So glad I bit the bullet and got the chop. Short hair was the best decision and I do not regret it at all
When I had a pixie cut women LOVED it. Wanted to take pictures and tell me how cute it was. On the flipside I'd have random men tell me how bad it looked and that I should grow my hair out.
The guy I had just started dating when I decided to cut my hair told me that he didn't think he would want to talk to me anymore if I cut it off...needless to say that relationship didn't make it through the week and I kept my hair appointment.
I shaved my hair off in August. Instantly had several people ask if 'everything was OK.'
I have shared this story before. When my now husband and I first started seeing one another he said he didn't want anything serious like combing bills or farting in front of one another.
So one night I'm sick as a dog and have the worst gas of my life. I'm literally in bed silently crying. I finally crawled out and just hung out in the computer room for a bit.
About a year later I told him this and we was so sorry I took it literally and apologized
I once walked into our bedroom and my gf was asleep. Just her bum was poking out from under the covers.
Just as I sneak past to climb in, she lets out an Earth-shattering fart, if she wasn't fast asleep I would have thought it was intentional.
My ex ripped the biggest fart I've ever heard in her sleep one night. And I used to hang out with a bunch of fat alcoholic dudes and we made farting a competition. She'd have won.
haha I think a lot of the "shock" around women farting is that people weren't raised with a mother who had no qualms about farting in front of her children.
I consider myself really fortunate because I had a mother who had no shame about anything. She had a boatload of boys and she'd fart in front us (sometimes quite obnoxiously), she never shied away from talking about menstruation or sex or even making sexual comments.
Two stories in particular come to mind. One when I was around 8 or 9yo. When mom would use the bathroom she always left the door open (not when visitors were around, only when it was her family in the house), she said she did this because she wanted to be able to easily run if she ever heard something happen to one of us or heard us crying.
Anyhow, so I'm around 8 or 9 and I walk into the bathroom and am sitting on the tub talking to her and I see she's slipping this thick pad onto a string that went around her waist. I asked her what it was and why she was doing that and she said "Well, you see, once a month a mommy grows this stuff in her tummy that makes it so a baby can grow inside her if a baby is there but if there's no baby then the stuff comes out. The pad soaks that stuff up when it comes out so it doesn't get on my pants."
The other story happened around 8 years or so later. Me, mom and a couple of my brothers were watching MTV when a Sade video came on. We were discussing how beautiful Sade was when my mother blurts out "Jesus, look at her mouth, she could fit 4 dicks in there." We collectively yelled "JESUS CHRIST MOM!!! What the hell is wrong with you?" She just laughed and was like "What? What? She does."
That’s the most child friendly and accurate description of a period I’ve ever heard!
Yea, my mom had a knack for explaining things in a child friendly way. After she told me what was going on I remember getting wide eyed and asking if that'll happen to me too. I remember her saying "oh no honey, it doesn't happen to boys cause only a mommy can grow a baby."
And the least child friendly description of Sade
Many years ago, I lived in a big city away from mu family and mom came to visit. We had taken the train to the airport for her to go home. I'd stepped into the elevator already, turned around, and I see her look left... look right... let this *massive* fart rip and then she scoots into the elevator.
And I get it, right? Loosing it in the elevator would've been unpleasant for both of us and anyone who came in right after. Open-air farts are better.
Except as the doors were closing, we see a man round the corner, step right into the fart cloud, and gag. We felt bad but also laughed so hard I thought she was gonna pee herself. It makes for a great story now.
Stop dying grey hair
I’m 40 with a toddler and have been going grey since 18. If I don’t dye my hair everyone assume my child is my grandchild. It’s hard on my mental health
Yeah, and I think this is a facet of the fact that people get used to seeing women with dyed hair, so to them grey=old even though it's really more that most women are getting it dyed, so when someone doesn't it stands out more. Like not wearing makeup - people are so used to seeing women without it that so many people (esp. men but not exclusively) will see a woman with a full face of makeup and be convinced she's not wearing any.
I am 36, while I have a full head of hair, the Grey's are coming in. I will embrace it. People are always surprised at my age, especially because I can't grow facial hair..when my hair starts to grey more, I will get carded less. Hopefully I look like the black Anderson Cooper.
Edit: my roast me post recently is a recent picture of me
I started graying at 22. There is no downside. Job interview when I was 30, boss thought I was 40. Got Job, got nickname Babygray...
Mine started when I was 18. It’s still mostly clustered around my temples, and I’m 47, but I love it. I’ve had coworkers think it’s highlights, a stylist told me I have grey cowlicks and that people pay to get what I have, and I had a teenager working at an ice cream shop tell me it looked classy :)
Calling it "babysitting" when watching their own children
I used to watch my kids during the day. "Are you on 'daddy duty' today?"
Bro, I killed me wife in the grocery store because of that “daddy duty today” crap!
Let me explain. I was grocery shopping to see what I was going to make for dinner and I had my two boys with me (1 & 4 at the time). This older lady sees me and says “aww stuck with the kids today?” I respond “Hahaha, no we’re still getting used to it just being us guys since mom left.” She goes “What do you mean?” I respond with, my wife passed during child birth of my 1 year old. It’s still hard but we take it day by day.” Her jaw hit the damn floor and I walked away.
I know this happens in really life, and I’m not trying to make light of a horrible situation but dude, I actually enjoy being home with my kids (only have my now 2 year old since the my daughter and 5 y.o. Are at school).
in fairness, if someone's gonna be a cunt about you being a parent for your kids, then they deserve to get a cheeki dose of trauma
That’s so weird that this is still a thing. I see so many millennial dads that are just more involved in their kids’ lives. They wanted kids, why wouldn’t they ?
I know plenty of guys who fought for custody of their kids during their divorce. When they’re with their kids, it’s no babysitting, it’s parenting.
I know gay men who adopted.
Like, you have to assume SO MUCH as a stranger to make comments like that.
I know an actual widower who was told by the lady at the till that he 'was very good to do the shopping with the kids'. Very patronisingly.
He responded 'shes an awful bitch, a real slave driver. ' Any response to get people to mind their own business works.
I'm a guy and have always hated that!
Pisses me off when somebody says I'm babysitting my daughter.
Not wanting marriage
I’m a woman in a long-term relationship with a man (over 7 years) and I don’t want to get married. People act so shocked when they ask when we’re getting engaged (and they always give me *the smirk*) and I say, “Oh, I don’t want to.”
I also hate when people talk to my partner like I’m the old ball and chain who’s going to be begging for a ring soon.
Or not wanting kids.
“You’ll change you mind as you get older” If I hear one more person say this to my daughter I will explode. My daughter physically can not have children. It’s such a rude comment to say to people without knowing. (My daughter has never really been a kid person-even as a kid so she thinks she hit the lottery)
Edit-to clear up confusion-if she says she medically can’t have children these peoples OBVIOUS rude next question is why?. My daughter does not feel like telling everyone her medical history.
I wish I could upvote this more than once. God everyone tells me it will change when I’m older and it’s like no? I won’t.
This one really fucking annoyed me
Sit the Iron Throne
They offered the Queen to sit on it when she was touring the UK studios several years ago. She said she wasn't allowed to sit on any nation's throne, fictional or real.
According to Kit Harrington, she said, "It looks terribly uncomfortable".
The realm will not follow you, sadly.
Refusing to pick up your kid from school because "you're at work"
My husband's coworkers give him shit any time he has to miss work to do childcare (if kid is sick etc.) We alternate missing days, but his bosses have outright said "Why isn't your wife doing this?!" on his days. After a couple years of this, he started bluntly replying that I'm the primary breadwinner so my job is frankly the more important one right now unless something changes at his workplace.
My husband is a SAHD and the teachers still message me first instead.
My kids' mother isn't even in the picture and they will call my mother first even though I'm the primary contact and she's secondary.
That seems like a common thing and I’ve wondered before if families with two dads would cause them to short circuit
OK, but which one of you is the woman?! ^/s
What the fuck is with this?!
In my stepsons old school, they refused to call my husband. He provided their court order showing their split custody (at the time; we noe have primary) and they'd day well she's the mom. And when the kid was sick? Mom got called first. Then me (stepmom). Like wtf?
We made it abundantly clear at the new school that since bio mom had chosen to not be involved with day to day life, that she's only to be contacted in.the event that my husband and I cannot be. She's last on the list. They thankfully were totally ok with that.
I lived this. My wife is a CEO, and he daycare was 2 blocks from work, and I once had to leave to get my daughter from daycare right after work, and couldn't stay late during a meeting, and the head of the office looked at me and said 'Don't you have a wife?!'.
I'm so glad I moved on from that job, that guy was a nightmare.
"My wife outranks you." That answer works regardless of who you're talking to.
That’s great. I am petty, so I would also say, “Imagine what the news would say about this.”
My boss asked me the same and outright said that he expected my wife to do it. Fortunately I live in Sweden and we have worker's rights and laws that protect parents so I could answer him that:
1. My wife makes more money than I.
2. How we handle our kids is between me and her, he has no business interfering.
3. I expect him to never mention this topic again.
The best response to outright sexism is to make them explain it. Act confused. "What does me having a wife have to do with me needed to go get my kids?" They'll shut up real fast.
And then on top of this, the woman is expected to take the time off, but then we are chastized at work for doing so. It'd a lose-lose scenario and I'm sick of it.
Edited for wrong word.
Once had a boss ask “Isn’t your baby daddy around??” Total bitch.
I (M) am the primary bread winner in my household. If time off work is required to tend the children I take the time off. It's because my wife doesn't get paid if she doesn't work. I get 12hrs of vacation a month plus 8hrs of sick leave. And to make matters better I start working at 6am meaning I usually get a half day in before I'm actually needed. Wife gets no paid time off at all.
Yep. During remote schooling my ex-husband wouldn’t help with the kids because he was working from home (as was I). What was he supposed to do, pause to help with long division? The very day he said that I had to excuse myself from a zoom meeting with my boss … to help my son with long division. Sigh …
Did you ask him why it was only your responsibility and not both of yours to share? I'd be curious what his response would be if you just asked him straight up. Would he admit he thinks his job is more important? Or that it's YOUR job to do all the childcare?
Husband told me a story once where his son's school called him at the office and he told his boss "I have to go, my son is ill" and his boss said ".... can't your wife do that...?" (eta: this was in his last relationship, the family mentioned are his ex and their son)
I remember a story where a school insisted on speaking to the mother so the dad brought the urn with him to the PT meeting. XD
Or even just being a fully grown adult. The first time I got called a "MILF" I was literally 20 years old. Even 23-year-old women get treated like they're over the hill by many people. I started feeling like my life was over because I didn't know any women who were open about being in their 30s, I had no image in my mind of what my life might look like.
I got told by a 20 year old guy once, "You're pretty cute, for 26!" Like he was shocked he still considered me somewhat attractive. It was laughable then, but becomes even more so with every year I age.
Too real. Mid-30’s here and I’ve felt “too old to matter” for a decade now. It has led to me not taking chances or opportunities like going back to school to finish a degree, or some other things in my personal life, which is ridiculous. I’ve wasted some of the best years of my life in anxiety over being “too old” when I wasn’t, all while actually aging. I’m older now, yes, but I no longer believe I’m “too old” for the things I want. Never be afraid to pursue your happiness. Screw the people who get weird about age; it really is just a number.
It's never too old to go finish that degree. Sometimes you need to grow up first to actually apply yourself properly to it!
I kinda wasted my 20's, but I'm starting to adult more now I'm in my 30's, now I've got a brand new car on order while also being younger than when my mum bought a new car. I'm also starting to build credit score and looking toward the future to possibly buy a house and working toward the career I wanted to do (which would mean going back to study). Hell I'm even starting to dive into the dating world well past the 20's prime.
#It's only too late when you're dead!
Literally just taking a shit
In a public restroom?
In a place specifically designed for taking a shit? Completely unacceptable.
What blows my mind is people using the bathroom at work to make phone calls and then giving me a stink eye when I come out of the stall. Like you’re making a phone call and I’m taking a shit? Which one of us is in the wrong place currently??
In high school someone had snuck in a cell phone to call someone during class (this was in another age, when it wasn’t considered normal to have your phone with you at all times; we could only have them powered off and kept in our locker for after school stuff, like calling parents to get picked up)
Anyway the person on the phone was all “oh my god! Someone’s taking a shit in here” and I was just like... first of all, I can obviously hear you saying this? And second of all... was I supposed to find a phone booth to crap in, to restore balance to the universe? It blew my mind that the kid breaking the rules was complaining that I was in the bathroom... to use the bathroom.
I was also mad because it made me feel guilty/self conscious to hear the commentary.
Women aren't supposed to eat, anyway!! Dainty creatures!! No food means no poop! If a woman poops, it's because she ATE something!!! Now she's gonna get fat and how will she ever get a man if she's fat and poops!!?
Not being you child’s primary care giver. Normal for a dad. Failure for a mum.
>Not being you child’s primary care giver. Normal for a dad. Failure for a mum.
Not directly related to the OP's question, but related to this response in particular... as a child, people (and by people I mean adults responsible for my care, like teachers) would ask me if my parents were divorced (or just skipped to asking if I "lived with my mom at all"). Frequently, I was also asked (point blank) if my mother was dead... many, many times.
Even at age eight, I was perceptive enough to realize that adults asked ME these questions frequently, yet I rarely (literally almost never) heard them ask any of my peers these questions.
The cause? My dad was the one who dropped me off and picked me up from school, extracirriculars, and events.
None of my peers remarked upon this. None of them thought it was strange or "interesting" or worthy of question. On occassion, someone's parent(s) would mention it... but by and large, it was the teachers/principal/etc. saying these things.
People (again, by this I mean ADULT HUMAN BEINGS) see a man actively participating in his own child's life and a large number of them react in a way that makes it VERY plain that the underlying thought they all have is "OMG HE'S RAISING HIS OWN CHILD? THERE MUST BE SOME EFFED UP EXIGENT CIRCUMSTANCES FOR THAT TO HAPPEN!"
While I couldn't articulate my understanding of this until high school, I was fully aware of this being the general, social response.
Plenty of the adults who didn't ask also simply made assumptions (easily observed by how shocked they were whenever there was an event that my parents attended together).
Dad: drops off kid.
School: Omg, the Mom is either a failure or dead.
I grew up with the same stuff happening. My mom was the career woman and made good money for the family, but worked long hours and stuff. My dad took care of most domestic stuff including our parent teacher nights and picking us up from school/day care, cooking and cleaning. Everyone assumed my parents were divorced and it fucked my mom up for a while. She would always start crying and apologizing for being such a bad mother. Even as a kid it made no sense to me because she put food on the table and bankrolled vacations and fun stuff and I knew we couldn't do all that without her working so hard. She was just born in the 60s and probably was judged a lot by her peers.
I worry slightly about this with my partner...we have recently been discussing starting a family. He currently is at home working, and I work in a school. My position pays decently, more than his, and if we were to have kids, he'd stay home with them while I worked (if we could manage this). But I worry a bit about the comments I know I would receive constantly from coworkers, things about how they couldn't imagine not being the one at home instead, and how much I would miss my baby, etc.
Since you know what could happen you can "pre-program" slaying responses.
I raised my son. It was cool.
Went to his football game, homecoming, and they started this speech about the thankless duties of being a football mom. Washing uniforms, pre game meals..all that.
Then they started calling out names and all the moms walked on the field where their sons presented them with a dozen roses, and they took a picture...then i hear my name called...i walk up there, all 6'2" 320 lbs of me...while my son gives me roses, a hug, and a "you deserve this pop"
All those ladies up there and i was the only one crying in the photo.
Raising kids by yourself is really hard
So many things right w this story. You raised a son confident enough to reject the sexism of assuming football dads don’t exist and who also honored you with flowers and a hug in front of the community. You continued that example by expressing your feelings openly and with gratitude. Two generations of healthy manhood. Way to go, dad!
A ~4yo boy at the park asked me (a man) if my 2yo was adopted because he only has one parent. I explained that his mother exists, she's just at work right now. It's funny when a 4yo makes stupid assumptions, not so much when an adult does it.
Phew! This is fact. The stigma is insane around me not having primary custody of my kiddo. But after the divorce, my ex was more financially secure and could provide better. It’s been two years and I’m just barely getting on my feet. Kiddo is better off with dad right now. It’s in kiddo’s best interest. But I’m the bad guy? Bananas.
You’re a great mother to solely think of your child’s best interests.
Keep their last name after marriage.
Edit: this really blew up. Thank you for the awards.
"Yes, Hello it's Mrs Cooler-Anyway, I believe you spoke to my husband, Mr Cooler-Anyway this morning"
Same, but the groom's dad had a tantrum at the wedding over it
I would happily have taken my wife's name, but then I would've had the exact name of a porn star and I didn't want the hassle.
I believe you but my Tommy Gunn don't.
I know a couple where the husband took her last name.
He hated his (from the little I heard I don't blame him).
I’m from Quebec, Canada. Women don’t change their name here and a lot of people that did reverted back.
Introduced my wife to some people outside of Quebec and they asked why we didn’t have the same last name. I said « Why would we have the same last name? She’s my spouse, not my sister?!? ».
Edit: Also jokingly asked my wife if she’d like to take my name when we got married. She told me that she’s fine with it, as long as I take hers.
Edit 2: Since most people are asking, here are the rules around last names for kids: https://www.etatcivil.gouv.qc.ca/en/birth/child_surname.html
In Italy very few women change their surname after marriage.
Here it’s customary to keep the maiden surname. And while it’s harder to look for your classmate’s mom, this thing definitely bears some advantages
Why are you looking for your classmate’s mom?
Maybe their classmate is named Stacey...
Having body hair
Edit: Thanks so much for all the awards! This is my first at getting awards!
I remember vividly the first time a boy in middle school told me “you should probably shave that” and pointed at my thigh. I asked what he was referring to because I could not, for the life of me, see anything there even with my glasses on and he pointed again, showing me in the sunlight my very white/blonde leg hair. What a strange, new feeling that was to experience.
Edit: my notifications are full of multiple anecdotes that share the same theme. Fucking heartbreaking - seriously.
When I was about 14, a guy told me that he could see my arm hair growing back because it was “spotty” and that I should shave. Those spots were my freckles
Fuck shaving your arms.
I know plenty of people do it, and that's perfectly fine if they want to. But I already do grooming of my very dark, very coarse below-the-waist hair. I'm not shaving off the fine stuff when it doesn't bother me at all. The irritation from stubble seems like way more trouble than it's worth when that hair isn't very dark.
be me in 6th grade me, persian af and therefore hairy and dark af. we were all walking to the soccer field together during PE and some kid i didn’t know at all said very very loudly “your arms are so hairy! they’re hairier than mine!”. that was fucking embarrassing. i went home and cried all night. my mom wouldn’t let me wax or shave at that time so she decided to bleach my arm hair. i felt a bit better about it even though you could still tell my arms were hairy. then the next day the kid singles me out again and says “omg you bleached your arm hair! that’s pathetic” and then everyone laughed at me. so i stole my dad’s razor and shaved my arms and then was stuck shaving my arms every day or two until i was 17 bc i was so self conscious. also embarrassing bc every time someone would touch my arms it would be prickly bc i was shaving them. that was a fun time…
edit: thank you guys for all of the support and the award!! im glad my experience resonated with so many of you and warms my heart we’re all in this early youth trauma together. kids are assholes and assholes also tend to be quite hairy.
You poor thing! Fuck that kid.
Are we the same person? I had this exact experience :(
My arm hair grows to thick, long and dark and I was so traumatised by being bullied for it I shaved them every day for years. Now I wax them them once every week or so but I can’t stand how they look especially since my skin tone is pretty light at the moment so they really stand out.
I saw my baby sister shaving her arms when she was in middle school and it broke my heart. I asked her why and she said the kids at school were just mean.
This is why I started doing it in the fifth grade. I would come home crying every day because the kids called me “werewolf.” My mom broke down and taught me how to shave.
I have unnaturally hairy arms. Think of very long, slightly curled dark hair. It literally looked like my dad’s. I was teased RELENTLESSLY in middle school and I have shaved them ever since. Shit was traumatizing.
Same. I have pretty thick arm hair but it's light and doesn't really bother me. I shaved it for so long trying to be more "acceptable." Then at some point I decided you know what, fuck all this nonsense. If someone minds that much, they probably aren't the type of person I'd like to get close enough to for them to see that hair in the first place.
Ironically that boy grew up to become a hardcore furry.
Explains why he noticed then.
\*notices leg hair* ÒmÓ
When I was around 13 a boy classmate commented that my arms are hairy, so I started shaving them… and I have blonde hair it’s not that noticeable, hurts to think about it, women get bullied about stuff like this before even hitting puberty, it’s insane.
In a class aged about 15, the light must have been at the angle that shone through my facial peach fuzz. A lad who was Top Lad (you know the one, inexplicably popular, all the lasses fancied him, gangly as fuck but all the Cool Girls think he's fit etc etc) comments on said peach fuzz, making snarky comments about how I have a beard.
Turn to him, in a quiet moment in the class and tell him that at least my beard is visible enough to be commented upon, unlike his....
A rare high point in my school days...
I got bullied for shaving my arm hair :’)
Edit: Im sorry everyone has been bullied for having/not having/shaving arm hair
Me too. Got bullied for my hairy arms, so I shaved them.. then starting getting bullied for being a weirdo who shaved my arms. At least it helped me realize that a lot of my peers were fucking idiots who's opinions I shouldn't give a shit about, lol.
When people get mad at you either way like that, it usually means they don’t know WHAT they want and therefore they’re just talking nonsense LOL. Who the fudge even has time to pay THAT much attention to some random person’s arm hair??
your problem imo. should've just not had arms
That happened to me in PE in 3rd grade. Started shaving that night.
My father saw my armpit hair because it was hot and I was wearing a tank top, so was he. He pointed his finger at it and said he’d kick me out if I didn’t shave. When he pointed I got a whiff of his 58 year unshaven armpit. Such bullshit
Wtf, what was his reasoning?? That's so disgusting of him to be bothered like that
“It’s not ladylike” lmfao. And I had NEVER heard anything like that from him before, I’ve walked around the house braless, unshowered for days, ripping ass and he didn’t say anything. I guess the scary bunch of hair was it for him
I have like 8000 stories about this. The first time I realized I was supposed to be ashamed of hair was around 11. My mom made me wear a sundress and take photos (as mothers do), and I posed with my arm up. Her face went sour and she said “put your arm down, your hair is disgusting. You’re not a little girl anymore.”
My face went hot with shame and I immediately dropped my arm. The rest of the evening went by silently.
Have a child whilst also having a job.
Edit: I was actually referring to the stealth demotions and firings, denied promotions, etc, but as people have pointed out, yes there's mom shaming too
Yes! “How can you have a kid and have time to work?” Said no one to my husband ever but me all the cracking time
Normal bodily functions
Not all of these will apply to everyone or every circumstance, but I think that most of these are fair.
1. Asking a guy out or asking a guy to marry you. It's seen as pushy or impatient and frowned upon.
2. Going hiking alone. People don't tend to raise their eyebrows at a man roughing it in the wilderness, but it's seen as reckless or dangerous if a girl does it.
3. Being assertive, standing up for yourself, and being confrontational. A lot of times it's seen as rude when it's seriously just somebody standing up for themselves.
4. Eating large portions of food. If a woman (even a skinny and fit one) is at an event she enjoys and fills a plate with junk food, it tends to raise a few eyebrows. It's considered unladylike. When a guy does it, it's viewed as normal and healthy appetite.
5. Dealing with grief. When a guy doesn't cry, it's stoic. When a woman doesn't cry, it's cold and unhealthy.
6. Caring little about appearance. If a guy goes a few days without shaving and has some stubble, it isn't frowned upon very much. If a girl goes without shaving her legs it's disgusting.
7. Masculime interests. A guy can like cars and video games and sports without question. But if a girl likes those things, it's "because she wants a guy" or "she's faking it" and she has to prove her worth and knowledge.
8. I know it's been said a lot, but sleeping around. It really is a very high double standard. It seems like the pressure is usually placed on women to be the defenders of sexuality. But sometimes we want to get down and dirty too. And I don't think anyone should be shamed for that -- male or female.
That said, I do think that men face a lot of backlash and hardships as well, especially for doing things that normal women do like being alone with children, having open emotions, caring about appearance a lot, etc. I do think women face backlash, even sometimes for behaving like a stereotypical woman (having strong emotions, wearing makeup, wanting to show some skin...) At the end of the day, a little bit of understanding goes a long way. :) Let's all be kind to everyone around us! :)
1 is the most ironic one. Most guys I know, including myself, would love a woman to ask us out. I don’t even know why it’s a thing.
I was the one who initiated contact with my boyfriend. I said hi to him on a dating site, then asked if he wanted to play some games on the ps4 to get to know each other. Then we met and never stopped chatting. We would have never found each other if I hadn't made the first move. I'm lucky to have seen him. He lives over 100 miles away. He must have opened the app when he was visiting his sister and I saw him.
Facts I had a girl ask me out and since I was a introverted little shit I had no chance to build up the confidence to do ask her out. It didn’t last long but still build up some confidence for me
Walk around and be treated fairly in Iran.
Speaking of which I hope all those protests in Iran won’t be for nothing let’s hope for a big change and that women finally can decide themselves wether they wanna wear the headscarf or not