T O P
Claralaraa

The type that makes you feel really bad about yourself. Edit: blown away by the upvotes. I’m sorry so many people have been through so much shit <3


PacoMahogany

I wouldn’t date my ex-wife either


NSA_Chatbot

I also don't choose this guy's ex wife.


jikatuku77

Fuck this guys ex wife


Choo-

Nah, that’s how you end up with child support.


ArtisticLesbianGworl

No body wants his ex wife ☆(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*


gotchu_bro

It comes in different forms, but I recently learned about "stonewalling" and it was crippling. Dismissing concerns, refusing to listen when your partner needs it, and generally getting defensive anytime a disagreement happens. Over time, it makes you feel angry, confused, and distrustful. So yeah, you definitely end up feeling like you're a problem, get irritable, worrisome, and are eventually pushed away for being like that. It's sort of like gaslighting somebody, but just straight up denying their emotional need to feel heard and cared for. I respect that it comes from a place wanting to avoid the fear and anxiety of confrontation, but how do you ever solve anything if you just shut people out and tell them they're too much? **Edit:** I appreciate the awards and stories people have shared about this! No relationship is without friction, of course, but nobody deserves to feel like their partner can't be bothered to listen and work on things.


Nidarodam

Just got out of a relationship where we were essentially stonewalling each other. Hers came out in the exact way you described, mine came out in the form of cold shoulder/silent treatment when I was upset about something. While I was working with my therapist to overcome this, I realized it really wasn't helping that every time I mustered enough willpower to voice my upset, she would immediately dismiss my concerns.


69MILFdudes

The type with a partner they didn’t tell me about 🤔


Mega-Pimp

"It's just like a casual thing..."


delicate-fn-flower

“You have a house and two kids together! It isn’t casual ya fuckwit.”


cordially_yours

We're basically just roommates.


JerkfaceBob

Yup. "Almost divorced"


False_Stuff835

Those that invalidate your feelings and are never in the wrong, no matter what.


ThouArtAFilthyBeast

Yup, and then they have the nerve to get angry at YOU for voicing your opinion.


funck93

I also will not date girls who try to make me jealous.


YourEngineerMom

*How* am I supposed to know you actually love me if you won’t fly into a jealous rage at me blatantly flirting with other men ?? You’re being unreasonable. /s …my brother dated one of those. He eventually just let her cheat over and over, ignoring her attempts to stir things up. When she finally got exasperated at his lack of response she broke up with him. I know his spirit was killed a little during that relationship, but she had no idea how stubbornly lazy our family can be. My brother lost the battle, but won the war lol


Paradox_D

So let me get this straight, your brother knew his gf was cheating but didn't confront her because he was lazy to have the confrontation?


YourEngineerMom

(Some details changed for anonymity) At first he was just ignorant, she was his first girlfriend and he was 100% trusting of her. Then everyone was warning him about her, like our parents and his friends - nobody liked her even before the cheating. She was very annoying… she reminded me of a middle school bully. She was very mean to him, too. At this stage he was still the “stay away from my girlfriend” kind of guy, and she *loved* this. Then he began to finally notice signs of infidelity and abuse on his own. He still wanted to trust her (and he was very religious at that time, so he kept thinking “god will work it out” type things) so he actively ignored these signs. He was in love, she was not. He was getting exhausted though. Then she asked to open the relationship, he said ‘no’, she fought with him, he finally gave up but said, “I won’t cheat on you”. - this is where he actually broke. He didn’t even try to be a protective boyfriend. I remember he had canceled his application for a motorcycle when he met her, because she didn’t want him to. After this point he reapplied and it was a huuuge issue for her. Somehow they still didn’t break up. She got caught sleeping with a VERY older man (her grandfathers age) at the time and the information became public. At this time my brother was completely checked out of the relationship and didn’t care. He didn’t “ghost” her because they live in the same town and same social circles, nor did he break up with her, but he wasn’t very “boyfriend-y” anymore. He stayed faithful anyways because they “weren’t technically broken up” and he was religious. He stopped referring to her as “my girlfriend”. This was only a month or so after she opened the relationship, but she finally got annoyed that he wouldn’t fight for her attention anymore. Surprisingly, she broke up with him in a pretty calm way. Like “we’re both in different places right now” instead of keying his car or something. Then she immediately enlisted in the army and a bunch of other wild stuff. Brother has dated a few times since, but hasn’t settled down yet. He’s not in a rush though - he’s still under 25. The bad relationship lasted about a year overall.


solandras

So obviously that entire experience had to suck for your brother, but overall I'd say it could've been much worse for him. She basically weeded herself out as an emotionally abusive cheater who doesn't give a fuck what her partner thinks, and she did so within the first year of dating. I've heard of people waiting until years after marriage. Hopefully he takes the things he say/heard and learns from them so he won't be so ignorant of these patterns in the future.


WorkingFI

One sided and pretty surface level conversation type. Never again.


Mega-Pimp

Wow, that's so awesome. "Plays on phone"


Mean_Parsnip

The 'smartest guy in the room' guy. He was a know it all and no one could tell him any different. It was insufferable.


Mega-Pimp

"Acktshually..."


artlessknave

but technically...


Mega-Pimp

I find this type fascinating. Some people can do it without coming across as a dick. There's a way they hold themselves and talk and it's just "Huh, yeah good point". Other just come across as arrogant dicks trying to one-up things.


deadpantrashcan

Some people are genuinely intelligent and like to contribute if they can.


DeShawnThordason

It's really more about framing. You can very politely and insightfully interject some garbage, or very curtly give a precise correction. The framing can be a useful heuristic for if they're correct, but I don't know if it's that much better than just flipping a coin.


Jiktten

I think intent often makes a big difference. If someone is talking to demonstrate how smart/knowledgeable they are, it'll come off very differently to someone who genuinely just wants to inform a person they respect and further the conversation.


RyanNerd

I was this guy at one time. I gained humility _eventually_. It took some people being blunt and me eventually doing some self reflection. I was not a good person. I'm sorry if you were one of the people I was insufferable with. I'm a different person now and try my best to build people up, support them and try to help them succeed.


PogueMahone82381

I was this guy at one point too, but it was because I was insecure. Eventually I got more confident and realized that I didn't need to try so hard.


parsonis

>I was this guy at one point too, but it was because I was insecure. Eventually I got more confident and realized that I didn't need to try so hard. Yup. It gets a lot easier when you realise you can simply let people be wrong. They're not akin to a piece of rubbish that needs cleaning up.


Pattt2602

always-on-the-phone-type


gliitch0xFF

Sorry what? I am on the phone, replying to someone on Reddit. About being rude on the phone.


kalkiki

Yo, I won’t even be friends with this type anymore. I had a friend who would **constantly** answer calls from her family when we were out. Every. Single. Time. And not a quick call *no, no, no* full hour long conversations. The last straw was when she was visiting me at my house and after literal hours I realized she had headphones on and was on an active call ***the entire time***. Fuck. That.


OmegaMoooo

Jesus yes! How rude are people to even do that


phalo

Yup, soon-to-be ex-wife has her face in her phone constantly. Huge turn off.


LoginPuppy

Clingy girls. Like for real she made me sit on calls with her for 5 hours at a time and she barely said shit, i wasnt allowed to hang up or she'd have a fucking tantrum, and there's some extra things im not going to say here.


[deleted]

[удалено]


IceJester74

This triggered my fight or flight


SallyHeap

Closeted. I don't want to be anyone's dirty little secret.


iknowlessthanjonsnow

100% this. It's fine if they have no contact with their parents for example, but I don't want to be a secret


kickaguard

I dated a girl that would absolutely never bring me around her friends. Fine with me, I have other friends or just don't mind sitting at home playing video games. Then when I started saying "oh, yeah? I'm not doing anything. Wanna go together?" She said "I won't ever bring you around my friends. I have no reason to be proud of you". Now that would be enough of a red flag. But the thing was, I was friends with a lot of her friends before her and I ever started dating. It was that 2 of her friends didn't like me. The other 10 I had known for years. After we split she hated it when I would come around to hang out and say I couldn't be there and almost everyone would be like "he's not here for you. It's not your house. You can leave".


youburyitidigitup

You’ve got some good friends


[deleted]

[удалено]


JonLongsonLongJonson

When you meet your gfs parents in the lobby of the mental ward she’s been taken to without knowing they were coming and she had no visitors for 2 weeks, and then she gets out a week later, moves in with her ex, and you find out you’re the ex now and were a secret the whole time so now the parents hate you for being the cheateé… thanks Victoria, I just want the book I brought you back.


ajgsr

oh same but coming from the perspective of someone’s unaware beard


SinisterPixel

Someone who seems like a victim in life. I wanted so badly to help my ex out. To get her out of her shitty living situation. Help her get her finances and medical needs in order. I really stuck my neck out. Gave it 150%. Exhausted myself regularly just so I could help her out. I just wanted to see her quality of life improve. I just wanted her to feel like life was going ok. It was never enough... Eventually she moved in with me, and spent almost a year doing nothing but playing PS4, eating, and sleeping. Didn't even start looking for a job. Eventually I ended it, and a few months later she moved back to her mom's place. The day after, I woke up to literally hundreds of messages from her begging me to take her back. Saying that she'll change. She'll do anything. She had forgotten how much worse her life was. I try to stay friends with her, but she's taken to making herself the victim in our relationship since we broke up. Maybe I wasn't perfect, I can admit that. But I willingly went to hell and back on multiple occasions just to try and make her smile. It crushes me that after everything, she trivialises everything I put into the relationship. This post was longer than I thought, but writing this out was therapeutic.


Fast-Sheepherder4517

Unfortunately you can’t help someone who wouldn’t help themselves


miku_dominos

A person that drinks far too much and thinks concern for their health is criticism.


Mega-Pimp

On the same tangent, someone who is "in control of their gambling"...


miku_dominos

I may buy a lottery ticket once every two months or so, and that's frivolous as I know I won't win but it's fun to think about. However, I see people burning through hundreds of dollars a night on machines and it boggles my mind to think how they can rationalise throwing away sometimes what I make a week in less than several hours.


drcockasaurus

crunchy festival chicks. i like really natural girls but the last one i dated...oof. she was fun, charismatic, lots of cool friends, good music taste, affectionate and thoughtful...when she was sober. once she got to drinking or worse she turned into a monster. constant FOMO, always wanting to go out, you always need to be in the moment. "I don't care if you have work tomorrow, Moonsong just got some killer acid and we're going over to her place to trip tonight." "I just bought some good blow, you owe me 80 bucks." Just not worth it at all.


Strawberry_Pretzels

Lol this one is hilarious to me for some reason. Sounds fuckn exhausting!


Jenetyk

I had a friend like this. He was all-in at the slightest mention of acid, festivals, smoke sesh, etc. He was a good dude but when you are in the Navy and he's trying to get you to drop acid at midnight on a Tuesday, it just doesn't work out well.


Altruistic_Ad466

Friend named “Moonsong” is definitely a red flag.


AVLPedalPunk

My ex wife ran a culty yoga studio in Asheville, NC. All of her friends had names like this. She cheated on me with a Trutheye. They have a rotting RV that they take to burns now with her 2 kids.


WigSplitX2

I cant stand those kinds of people, guys or girls, dating or not.


laluisaa

The SoundCloud rapper.


Mega-Pimp

lol, this is a new one. Can I ask why? (i really should have also added "and why?" to the post)


laluisaa

(I hope that everyone knows, that I am not talking about the general public and I don’t want to offend anyone. I bet there are some gems among the SoundCloud rap community!) He was a nice and lovely guy at most but sometimes simply trying to hard to be different and "edgy", the type to push you away because his mind is "too fucked" and so on. He then wrote a song for me, distanced himself from me again. He did this several times and after I said that it is too much for me,he shittalked me on the internet. Nonetheless, his voice is amazing tho (and his music was simply just not my style).


dwalshhh45

I dated a similar type. He was so obsessed with how he was perceived and by the end I realized he was a "taker". Sweet behind closed doors, but so thirsty for attention. He didn't have real talent so he kept trying to find ways to "be different" and it just got old. Never knew who you were goin to get and dating someone so self absorbed is never fun. He ended up cheating on me when he went on "tour" (was the opening act for a very small artist) and literally acted like he was at Kanye level. He was the worst


PIPBOY-2000

So basically someone who never got out of the mentality of a middle/high schooler?


Tac0Tuesday

Someone with no hobbies. (My wife is an avid writer, she'll gladly be left alone).


Mega-Pimp

I've dated someone who 'made' me the person who should entertain them 24/7. I need my fucking space and my alone time and it just made me depressed and drink way too much because I felt suffocated...


Tac0Tuesday

Exactly, and then quickly becoming their emotional scratching post!


[deleted]

I don’t think people realise how important it is to have your own space in a relationship. Some people feel like they have to be together 24/7 for the relationship to be good. Sometimes being like passing ships in the night is a blessing in disguise


Vivacestinkyyy

A narcissist.


StuntFace

Same. I had a lot of trauma growing up, a lot of codependency issues, which made me an easy mark for narcissists (or at least toxic, manipulative dudes). The last one just tried to hoover me back in last month, after ghosting me months ago and right after getting married to some other poor woman. Dude's a fucking mess. Never again.


Username_of_Chaos

I don't know if this will be controversial or maybe it's obvious, but someone with a drug problem. Yes, maybe it's a disease. No, it doesn't make them a bad person. But it will ruin your life. Not just theirs, yours too 100%, no matter how together you are in your life personally it will seep over into your world.


Man-ah-tee13

I can absolutely say that this is true. And I am currently fighting my way out of said relationship. And have also realized that I have developed a problem of my own. Hence why I am seeking counseling to get help to get out of the relationship. I was one of those “I can fix them“ type of people and I learned that I could not nor will I ever try to again.


tropicalzhu

The kind that says there's nothing wrong with their mental health even though there obsviously is.


Mega-Pimp

I've dated the "I have issues but don't need therapy" type who just self-diagnosed and didn't actually care about therapy at all. They became a living meme...


ShutInLurker

Any man who has a mom that is TOO involved Update: Wow! Thanks for all the likes and stories, folks! This has been super entertaining. I’m glad my lessons can bring some chuckles :)


Mega-Pimp

Hahaha, I remember a friend of mine meeting her partners mother and she asked SUPER personal questions about their sex life. I couldn't even imagine...


Daikataro

Is he stroking your G-spot like I taught him to?


Mega-Pimp

... I just have nothing. But super similar to the kind of questions she was asked.


Prysorra2

Your daughter squeaks like a dog toy


CharlieHume

Oh hey it's the food I just ate back in my mouth


ShutInLurker

My ex MIL used to drive 2 hours with dinners for my HUSBAND bc she didn’t think I cooked well enough (I cook fine, thank you). She also only brought enough for him.


-Handsome-Jim-

I had a similar (albeit more local) situation with a girl before I met my wife. We met on a dating site when we were both 30 and had a good first date. She still lived with her parents which didn't bother me but when, I picked her up for our second date, her father read me the riot act. It was "That's my princess. I own a shotgun and a shovel. No one would miss you" type stuff. That's a stereotype men say when their *teenage* daughters start dating - **not** 30 year olds. We would date for about a year and it was just a constant stream of "that's my princess", "no man is good enough for her", etc. Eventually she started spending the night at my house and that's when things really escalated. She and I went away for the weekend with my sister and her husband. I was sitting at a bar with my future BIL when I got a call from from my alarm company. Someone was in the house and they wanted to verify it was(n't) me. They notified the police department who then called me about 15 minutes later. My girlfriend's father had a key to my house but wasn't aware that I had a security alarm. He just needed me to tell them it was OK for him to be there ... but it wasn't. It was well after midnight, he knew we would be away, and I had no idea he had a key. It was not OK at all. I was terrified of what he would have been doing there but didn't want to press charges without talking to my (then) girlfriend who was asleep at the hotel. The police told me I didn't have to press charges right then and they could escort him off the property, which is what I had them do. Ironically I then called my own dad to go to the house with his (approved) key, lock up, and make sure everything was OK. I was a little afraid that my (then) girlfriend's dad would try to burn down the house or something and told him so. By the time I got off the phone with my father, my (then) girlfriend was blowing up my phone enraged that I would have the police remove her father from *our* house. Our house? I don't recall her ever making a mortgage payment or giving me money for a bill. The four of us had a very, very tense car ride home then we broke up. The next day her father showed up furious at my behavior and I called the police. I wasn't looking to press charges. I just wanted another police report of him showing up to my house angrily to file an order of protection keeping him away from the house. I'm happily married now but, if that ever changes, never again will I date someone with an over protective father.


Rubberbabybuggybum

WTF? What were his motivations for breaking into your house?


-Handsome-Jim-

He never really explained himself. When my BIL and I got back to the hotel my (then) girlfriend was on the phone with her father and they were both furious I had the police remove him from the house. We didn't really have much that would resemble a conversation. I basically screamed at him to never enter my house under any circumstances again and he kept screaming that I need to learn respect, etc. He's one of those proud "old school" authoritarian assholes who believed I needed to kiss his ass because he's older and the father of my (then) girlfriend. When he pulled up to the house the next day it wasn't to apologize but to scream at me some more for not showing him the proper respect. My dad ended up spending the night at my house to ensure her dad didn't come back and do something in the night. He basically advised me to stay inside, call the cops, and let them handle it. The last thing I needed to do was lose my cool and hit him. That was the last time I ever saw him or his daughter. I had an order protection barring him from setting foot on my property and made it clear it would be enforced.


Rubberbabybuggybum

Wow sounds delightful. What an amazing family.


-Handsome-Jim-

The real shame of the situation was that his daughter was a perfectly nice woman when she wasn't being put in the situation of having to defend her father. He was an asshole from the beginning but I could deal with him making comments about how I wasn't good enough for his princess, etc. I just chalked it up to him being an asshole. No way could I excuse him breaking into my home.


NoBenefit5977

This sounds like a rebooted version of everyone loves Raymond, just imagine if she lived next door!


BaldyBro

I can never understood as a dude, how other dudes let their moms be THAT controlling in their relationships. Like, me and my mom are very close, but she would never impose herself on my relationships, nor would I tolerate it. One can be tight with their parents and family-oriented, but still know where the boundaries exist. If he doesn't, then that guy is a manchild and his mother will always find a way to make life hell for you. So it's best to run the other way the moment you realise it. The most my mom would do is try to become close with my partner and treat her like her own daughter, so that she would feel apart of the family. She trusts my judgement. Which is really all I can ask for from my parents. Anything else is a red flag.


More-Masterpiece-561

She should have taught her son how to feed himself if she was so worried about her baby not getting food that was "good enough"


ShutInLurker

It has just made me more cognizant of making sure the men I date don’t still have umbilical cords attached 😂


More-Masterpiece-561

You really can't date someone's mom along with them.


OldBob10

Well, you can, but it does make for a lot of elbows in bed. 😱


Mega-Pimp

Oof... That's just being a dick.


ShutInLurker

His parents were super racist. I’m Korean, so never good enough for their full blooded German son. Which they told me. On the day of our wedding. For record, I have 2 STEM degrees and paid for my own school, car, house etc….but damn these squinty eyes!!!


Urechi

Sorry to hear that. I'm Asian, and my mother tries to get involved with any girl I date. I've gotten flak from my own family for the number of times I've told her off and threatened that I'd have nothing to do with her if she ever interfered. Some families are just unhealthy.


Indigo_Mockingbird

As a Korean I find this funny because my Korean mother is really racist to anyone not Korean and hates that her kids married non Koreans.


Mega-Pimp

Ergh... This is depressing... Stop being so Korean! /s


ShutInLurker

I drive a Volkswagen! I tried!!!! 😂


AmericanPatriot117

My mom literally asked my girlfriend of 5 months if she’s pregnant yet because she wants to be a grandma. See ya in 6-7 years on that one


Aiurar

You need to get your mom in check now if you want to ever keep a decent serious girlfriend


sirscratchewan

I dated a guy in college. When I met his mom, he kissed her on the lips. He also very casually walked around the house (in front of parents) with morning wood. I noped out of there real fast.


ThirdAndDeleware

One I dated was extremely close with his mom. Ok, that’s fine. Then I realized she called him every morning to make sure her 30 year old adult son was up for work. He was a light sleeper and a morning person but every day, his phone rang 15 min after his alarm went off so she could make sure he was up for work. Then one day I silenced his phone and she drove over, with a To Go cup of coffee and was banging on his door. She must not have seen my car, but I opened the door and let her know that he was in the shower. His phone didn’t ring after that.


debbie0621

I had a similar situation, instead of his mom it was his aunt who raised him, so she was like a mom to him. Literally always called him in the morning (he was a heavy sleeper so majority of the time he wouldn't even hear his alarm or his phone ring) so that he could get up for work. Anytime he was home during the day, she would call to check on him even though she literally lived ON THE STREET OVER. She would blow his phone up and call him everytime we were on a date, to the point where he was even annoyed. He did have a bit of a drinking problem, and one day while i was helping him move into his new house, she came into his room while i was organizing it for him as a surprise (he had work that day so i helped his family all day move) to tell me that i "needed to make sure he stops drinking". I understood where she was coming from, but at the time i was just like umm...don't tell me what I NEED to do.


youburyitidigitup

He had a drinking problem and an overprotective parent. Im not sure which is the cause and which is the effect.


mactofthefatter

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems" ~ Homer Simpson


LeelooDallasMltiPass

So this! My ex is almost 50 and his elderly mother is still paying his student loans, using her social security money! He goes to her house constantly, where she cooks him elaborate meals and does his laundry. He's often unemployed, and always underemployed, so she supports him with money she can't really afford to give. He's one of the most entitled people I've ever met.


SurrealGirl

I guess he'll be up a creek when she dies and the gravy train is over. Unless she has a couple million stashed for him or a very lucrative life insurance policy. She's probably spending all her money on him and has nothing left.


LeelooDallasMltiPass

She has two houses, the one she lives in, and one she uses as a rental property. She has two sons, and both now each have a house in their name. Unfortunately, she has taken second and third mortgages out on the houses to support both sons, and neither son has the income or credit score to deal with the outstanding debt on the houses once she dies. However, neither son understands how money or debt works, so they are just waiting for her to die so they can get their money. It's awful.


shebearluvsmegadeath

BROOOO my sis in law dated a guy like this. Mom critiqued everything from how she should begin cleaning his house (mom was currently doing it and wanted sis in law up to her standards) and other shit like this. Come to find out, Sis caught the fucker obsessing over YouTube vids of other children breastfeeding. She hailed ass Edit: OLDER children, older! Lol Edit 2: “hauled” ass. I swear it’s autocorrect, it’s not me 😫


MallGothFrom2001

ALL HAIL ASS!


shebearluvsmegadeath

Omfg auto is really killing me today


cd2220

I had the opposite with a girlfriend like that. Her mom was probably the biggest helicopter parent I've ever met. We were both adults yet even 2 years into the relationship she was absolutely livid if we were alone together at any point. Yet for some reason I put up with it for so long and she was the one that broke up with me. I had spent so long working with her to get her to be more independent, and just as she was starting to become so it all fell apart. I had become very emotionally withdrawn from trying to be supportive while not getting it back emotionally or physically. All that despite working an insane amount to live near her and wanting me to send her nudes and shit all the time despite me being incredibly insecure of my appearance. She wanted me to be physically present in the relationship and seemed to have a very high sex drive (she talked about it a lot) all without actually *having* a physical relationship. Then she started talking to me the way her mom would. Saying passive aggressive hurtful things and hinting at seeing me as incapable of taking care of myself while her parents took care of everything for her. My car died and getting around became impossible so of course if I wasn't coming to her I would rarely see her. She refused to learn to drive (despite having a perfectly fine car that *her parents bought for her*) and her mother was of course not going to drive her to me. We had finally got to a point when we could be alone together after 3 years and I fell asleep in bed. 3 jobs will do that to you. That was the death of the relationship. After another month of pretending there was anything left, of course. The best part? She broke it off with a text. Even 4 years later I still feel the emotional nuclear fire of looking at my phone that day. Anyway this is a bunch of text nobody probably cares about but thanks for listening internet. Edit: Just to be clear I wasn't perfect either. It was just a very unhealthy relationship.


raidercamel

The "I'm a bad bitch!" The never ending posturing is unbearable.


geeg3131

Someone who pins their happiness on a relationship. No hobbies, friends, doesn’t take care of their mental health. “As long as I have you it’s okay” like no- take care of yourself.


Jakov_Salinsky

I hate to say it. I was that in my last relationship. In fact the last thing she said right before we broke up was, “I’m not your therapist.” Really made me think about how much pressure I was putting on her to make me give a shit about myself since I never did.


Hobo_Slayer

Party girls. I don't mind going out myself now and then, but if every single weekend involves you having to go out and get absolutely destroyed, while putting yourself in dangerous situations and with people you don't know well, hard pass.


kermitsailor3000

That sounds like my worst nightmare


Hound171

I don’t know how to call a person like this, so I’ll give you example instead. Ex gf said that we should be a separate cell of society. She meant we should have only OUR friends, OUR hobbies and we should distance ourselves from parents and etc. I personally think, anyone can have a right on their personal life which is not connected to the relationships UPD: Thanks for every upvote and reply. You’re awesome!


manicpixieghostgirl

It sounds like she was isolating you, which is not a good sign.


Gangsir

That's actually a type of abuse. They center your universe around them so you lose access to your support net and other people who care about you, making you easy to manipulate and take advantage of, because you have no external eye going "wow that was screwed up what they did to you".


Hound171

As you said, I was alone and couldn’t have any support. And here’s the fun part of the story. She convinced me to go to psychologist, because I had weak character, doc upgraded my self-esteem and self-confidence, so I understood that I’m actually dating with bad person


Most_Heart_1214

I swear that's where my brother has been for the last seven or eight years. Started off across the state, them they moved into town for a few months. Eventually moving a whole eleven hour drive away, with my now 6yo niece. They drop in at random for a day or two at a time, but only when it strikes *her* fancy, and they are only available to visit a couple hours a day. SIL is almost always in a hurry to leave. Niece is catching onto smelling the bullshit, but even more powerless to change it.


Mega-Pimp

That sounds kinda... cult-ish...


AnUnstableNucleus

A relationship separatist?


robbietreehorn

Alcoholics. Just run.


tbjamies

People with wanderlust. Travel is great but if you can't stay in the same place for longer than a year or so before you HAVE to move somewhere else you need to make sure the person you start dating knows about this. This is an extremely disruptive cycle that is not for everyone.


sevamew

I moved around so much as a child that my only goal is to buy a little house for my daughter and I then never ever leave that house. She's still young, I want her to have a childhood home, and I'd like to be able to give her that home when she's grown and started her own life.


LightningZ71

Dismissive avoidants and/or high conflict personality types. Yes, the grief I'm feeling at my father passing away is a valid emotion. You don't have to pick a fight with me over wanting a moment of privacy in our bedroom to cry. Yes, my pain is more important to me IN THAT MOMENT than your frustration with me over not doing the dishes last night after getting home from the hospital. No, I'm not a needy child for having a human emotion that you don't think I should have.


Old_Unit6149

That doesn't sound like dismissive-avoidant, that just sounds like a huge asshole...


[deleted]

The actual bad boy-drug addicted, drinker “I don’t give a fuck” type. Always abusive imo and the sex isn’t worth the panic attacks and heartache.


overdownyonder

“But he plays the guitar!”-me in my early 20s 🙄


Lytnin

"I'm a princess"


Mega-Pimp

Was that also accompanied with "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best - Marilyn Monroe"


myusername2218

I had one who would say that constantly. I asked if “the best” was ever gonna show up or if she only came with “the worst”… she did not like it.


Retro_Super_Future

“You at your best is still shitty as fuck, BYE!”


PMmecrossstitch

Brave.


idkwhatimdoinghnstl

Omfg that was one of my exes. She was trash talking so much a singer I liked, and when I told her to tone it down a little, she brought up an argument similar to this. The typical "I'm not changing who I am" Like bro please I just wanna enjoy this singer in peace


AllMyBeets

I'm not asking you to change, I'm asking you to SHUT THE HELL UP.


SnakeSucuk

The "im an asshole to other but i like you" type. And just in general people who are so insecure you have to assure everything all day to them and they still get mad over nonsense.


Illustrious-Try-5123

wolfmen, I don't remember what they were called lol. you know those men who say that it's okay to cheat on their wife because they are a MAN...


Mega-Pimp

My mind went to furries which I'm sure isn't what you meant... :) Alphas?


Illustrious-Try-5123

yes, alphas! hahahaha


Mega-Pimp

Which is a fundamentally debunked idea by the guy who coined the term...


Hector_Tueux

I thought you meant werewolf for a second


Vincent__Vega

I thought you where talking about guys with a lot of body hair.


[deleted]

I thought you meant hairy backs...


beefstewiguana

People who actually “stan” things and take it way too far.


Mega-Pimp

I feel old. What does it mean to "stan" something..?


Sir_Clicks_a_Lot

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Stan > A reference to the Eminem song Stan. The song is about an overly obsessed fan (named Stan) who writes letters to eminem and ends up driving off a bridge with his pregnant wife, because Eminem didn't write him back. > The terms means a very very overzealous and obsessed fan of a celebrity/band/cast of a tvshow or movie.


Mega-Pimp

Ah shit I know the song from my earlier years. Thanks for making me feel old :P


pastiesmash123

Wow this is a big TiL for me thank you. I knew Stan meant be a fan of. And I know rhe Eminem song Stan but I never put two and two together. Makes you proud knowing the young whippersnappers are referencing something from my era


Dusty_Roller

The cheating type lol


PeligrosaPistola

**Entrepreneurs**. I’ve met too many men who think that they’re on a path toward endless wealth when it’s really just Amway or some other scam. Even worse — when they expect you to support their delusions as if THE WORLD is against them.


AnUnstableNucleus

Women who are *really* into Disney


Redneckshinobi

Or the notebook. I had a relationship end and I shit you not her argument why I wasn't a good boyfriend was because I didn't build a house for her. Edit: thanks for all the replies and laughs. I'd build houses for all of you though lmao


Clcooper423

You haven't built a house for me either, we will never work out.


Redneckshinobi

:'(


TheBeardedVagabond

Still waiting on my house too bro. RUDE!


jmwmcr

Hey who the hell are you!? He promised me a house six months ago! Am i the guy on the side?


snsv

Bro does she even know zoning and paperwork


shaoting

I know a married couple through my local craft beer scene. They're in their mid-40s, she works full time in marketing, he full time in production. Both are metal heads that sport full tattooed sleeves and piercings. They're also huge Disney nuts. For the past 10+ years or so, they visit Disneyland at least twice per year, along with all of the excellent breweries in the Anaheim area (Bottle Logic, The Bruery, etc). Outside of them hyping up their trips beforehand on social media, you'd never wager they were certified Disney nuts.


PeanutButterPigeon85

They sound fun, actually.


PIPBOY-2000

That doesn't sound bad. It sounds like they are huge fans but don't make it their entire personalities.


drewtangclan

as a gay man, “Disney Adults” are a widespread phenomenon (and red flag for dating) among men as well


procrastablasta

no wants to hear it but the adult Star Wars fans have a lot of overlap there


Embarrassed-Bid-3577

Don't get me wrong, I will sob my heart out over some Pixar movies. But I will never, ever again date a Disney superfan. Not only is it annoying; but they think it's the epitome of gay culture and I'm not there for it. My identity as a gay man is in no way underpinned by Princess Misogyny (also my drag name, thanks) in some cartoon from the early 90's.


guzhogi

Impatient people. Also, people who do something shitty, apologize for doing it, but then say it’s not their fault.


youcanmilkanything

The im not like the other girls type.


biomech36

According to the informative gathered from 1-in-3 girls on Tinder, yes you are indeed like other girls.


fiducia42

No job. No ambition. No future plans.


Thoraxe123

the super submissive type. ​ for some, that may sound nice, but it gets old after a while. I would beg my ex to just say 'No' to me or to voice her thoughts/desires. She was so afraid that if I didn't like what she said that I would break up with her or something.


DiManes

Yup, can't have a relationship if both people don't share their needs.


randomname1561

I had a few of these and I would consistently set the standard that if they didn't specifically ask for something they didn't get it, even if I knew what it was. If I did know, I'd tell her to say it. Eventually it starts to set in that vocalizing your desires typically makes you get them so they get more confident about saying what they want. I think it's anxiety over being told no or asking and getting let down, but when they figure out that getting what they asked for is the much more likely outcome they don't hesitate as much.


jmeloveschicken

You sound like a good and patient person. A lot of people in that position would just be frustrated or mad but you actively tried to help them. Good job


nakedinthewindow

The bad boy


revolution_of_frost

The “I can’t live without you” type. It’s like having a puppy that can text you.


Mega-Pimp

And also blame you for their depression and suicidal ideation...


catsweedcoffee

The self-depreciating type. “I’m shit, you deserve better, why are you with me?” Homie, idk who hurt you, but I’m not in the business of rehabilitating grown adults.


Rennarjen

Oof yeah, I was like this and it led to me sabotaging a relationship with someone i genuinely loved. It's a difficult mindset to get out of but it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, and it's a cop out for working on your issues.


TotallyBrandNewName1

I think im in this sentence and I dont like this feeling


cthulhucat

My boyfriend and I are both in that sentence. Solidarity.


Consistent-Solid-264

guys who think its “cute” to make you angry or jealous… like no you’re just traumatizing me


mandrayke

Girls who punch, scratch and gaslight.


Mega-Pimp

I had an ex who would argue with every single one of my friends (and be super verbally abusive) and it wasn't until after a while in the relationship I realised she did the same with me. She was super toxic but I was too stupid to realise it at the time sadly. After we split she stilled owed me money but played the "you were abusive" card with absolutely no self-awareness. I asked my current GF if I was and she said "Totally not. Fuck her with bells on".


mandrayke

Mine abused me so badly I have lost any confidence in myself and haven't had a partner in 2.5 years. Meanwhile, she has since married a guy, and frankly I am fucking relieved that that bitch ain't my problem anymore. But you know how it goes, right? The pain and trauma stays with you and cripples you.


Barriogenius

Sexy drug addict.


ChadCoolman

Amen. Ugly drug addicts for me only, please!


Ineedyoursway

A scorekeeper. Had a girlfriend who would basically keep tally charts in her head of how many times each of us did each chore. She’d flip out over any imbalance, even if it was caused by something like I couldn’t cook dinner because I was at work during dinner time. I’m all for equitable distribution and sharing of chores, but scorekeepers are fucking exhausting.


Scott_Richards

I won't be surprised if I get some flak for this but, poly people. I've dated my fair share of kinksters (actually some of the best, most therapeutic relationships I've ever been in) so I like to have an open mind but man, the few poly involvements I've had have been absolute dumpster fires. The only redeeming thing I've had come out of one was that I became very sure I'm not poly.


AzraelleWormser

I've known quite a few poly / kinkster couples in my life. Every single one ended disastrously.


stellaluna92

The stoner hippie that wants to spend his savings on a bus to renovate it into a tiny house and drive around the country. That's a fine dream, and he was a great person, but we did NOT mesh in our views of the future.


[deleted]

Men who think that hygiene comes last on their list of priorities


Nose-Artistic

Someone who is morally superior, a judger.


whythefrickinfuck

Anyone who has zero hopes, ambitions, dreams or plans for the future. Like a place they want to see, a goal they wanna achieve. I don't give a fuck if it's owning a cute cat, learning a language, travelling, it really doesn't matter as long as they at least have thought a tiny bit about what they want in the future.


SimplyFatMatt

A dismissive avoidant. Unless they were in therapy for their avoidant attachment. Even then I would be very hesitant. Edit: Also spark chasers. Those people that chase the excitement and butterflies at the beginning of a relationship and breakup when things settle down and become more comfortable. There's a lot of overlap with dismissive avoidants here. But I think a lot of people have also been influenced by fairy tales and Hollywood to think that the "spark" is always supposed to be there. Unfortunately, aside from a few signs, such as lovebombing, these types are often hard to detect early on.


[deleted]

Any woman who thinks me **NOT** drinking alcohol is a deal breaker


Bigbrainplays69420

the type I see online all day but leaving me on delivered for hours, made me overthink things a lot and I still do now


One_Entertainment381

Someone who makes politics their whole personality. Those are usually the most egotistical and self righteous people you meet.


rmshilpi

Seconding this as someone who actually works in politics. I'm gonna add that nine times out of ten, this isn't even someone who does real political work. i.e. Going to local council meetings, knocking on doors, get out the vote, calling legislators, etc. It's the stuff that gets shit done...but isn't sexy on social media. Hot takes, memes, and videos aren't worthless, but they aren't worth much, either. Protests are important, but they aren't the be-all end-all of political action...and often little more than photo ops to get clout online, tbh. If someone's political action would cease to have worth or impact if they lost all their social media or didn't take a picture/screenshot of it, then they're not *politically* active - they're just using politics to boost their ego. Aggrandizement =/= Action


BElf1990

Women who define themselves by being someone's girlfriend and have never been single. Never again. If a chick breaks up with their guy and immediately hooks up with you, it's a bit of a red flag. If every single relationship they've been in ends up that way, just run, trust me.


Mega-Pimp

I dated someone who was poly and I was their "rebound" because their other person had lost interest in them. I get it. The second we split she started dating other people. She craved the attention...