By - klausbrusselssprouts
Owning something you don't pay a subscription for
Owning anything outright.
Honey, my liver stopped working. Did you forget to pay the subscription again?
Edit: Wow, I did not expect this to blow up
Is what i would i say as my liver self destructs after another failed payment
We can't afford it! We need at least one of us with teeth. Our digestive system subscription is draining us dry as is!
Out from the night, from the mist, steps the figure.
No one really knows his name for sure.
He stands at six-foot-six, head and shoulders.
Pray he never comes knocking at your door!
Say that you once bought a heart,
Or new corneas,
But somehow never managed to square away your debts.
He won?t bother to write or to phone you.
He'll just rip the still-beating heart from your chest!
Reeepo maaan! Reeepo maaan!
Now you could run. You could hide.
You could try to.
But he always has a way of finding you.
He will come at your weakest hour,
When no one is around who might rescue you.
Reeepo maaan! Reeepo maaan!
And none of us are free from this horror,
For many years ago, we all fell in debt.
New body parts were needed to perfect our image.
And until our debts are clear,
We will live in fear of the...
Reeepo maaan! Reeepo maaan!
Reeepo maaan! Reeepo maaan!
THIS is exactly what I hate rn about everything
I saw an Instagram ad for a pair of earbuds that you have to rent. You don’t have the option of just buying them, even if you’ve paid more than their value in monthly payments. So you could theoretically be forced to pay over a thousand dollars after enough time and still not own them. And if you just stopped paying, they’d deactivate them remotely.
Easily accessible fresh water.
Drinking water from the tap
"You know son, when I was your age we didn't have a subscription model to make toasts every morning. We'd just put bread in and toast would pop out"
"You had to put bread _manually_, Grandpa?!?"
"Oh yes, but we didn't have to listen to 3 mandatory advertisements. Oh and one more thing: We could use _any_ bread we want"
"Holy shit!? Any bread?? And it would still toast them?"
"we could even throw it in the bathtub and end our misery"
edit: am laughing my ass off right now, you are all hilarious but whoever sent me a REDDIT CARE RESOURCES MESSAGE takes the cake, thanks for caring and thanks for making my day, you guys are great
also if it wasn't a joke and you really care, i'm fine, and yet again thank you for caring
"oh cool, that's like retro suicide booth"
“You have chosen slow and painful”
Why would you throw bread into bathtub?
To end your misery.
Unauthorised Bread, one of the short stories in Cory Doctorow's *Radicalized* collection, is basically about this. A really beautiful story about jailbreaking household appliances and resisting this tech dystopia growing around us.
Fiction, pah. The Juicero not only *actually existed*, it received $120 million in investment funding!
Well I’ll be 110 so I’m going to say breathing.
I'll be 102. TBH, with advances as they are, we might be able to meet up for a drink.
So, what do you say - beers on me, September 20th 2072?
Someone do the remindMe thing!
I would, but I’ve got a lot going on that day. I don’t need the added stress of being reminded about that dudes drink date.
Tell you what. Move it to September 23, 2072. That will be my 100th birthday. I'll buy the beer.
Being confident that the person they see on screen is a real person and not AI.
Well shit, it will be cheaper, won't it. Devices will have an onboard ~~spyware suite~~ AI helper already, once the groundwork is laid it's much more efficient to send chat data and construct an avatar instead of sending video data.
Grandparents will say to their grandkids “When I was your age, I had to get off the screen and actually GO to school”.
Uphill, both ways
While fighting a pandemic
And dodging mass shootings
At least the air was breathable though
Habibi come to delhi
In a wildfire.
During an abortion
With a war going on
At least you kids have feet!
"Grandpa what is snow....?"
"It was white stuff that fell through the air...
Those were the days..."
"Grandpa, what's air?"
In California, we call the white stuff falling from the sky “Ash”
Privacy. Even babies are overexposed today.
Try lowering your ISO.
Follow this guy for great photography tips lol
Not so great astrophotography tips, though.
Fuck man, I have a kid on the way and all the baby monitors want to broadcast your kid over the actual internet.
I'm not a tinfoil hatter but that skeeves me out a lot and I found something that's closer to CCTV
Bro don’t get a monitor that’s on your wifi. Get the cheaper ones that are dedicated cctv. People make a hobby out of hacking baby monitors and talking to your kid while they sleep. It sounds crazy, but it’s real.
You don’t even have to have a video monitor. We got a sound only one with no internet connection and have loved it. Our baby did sleep in our room (in bassinet/crib) until she was over 1 year though, so it was mostly used when traveling or in that blissful few hours when baby would sleep at like 6 pm. lol
it makes me vastly uncomfortable how COMFORTABLE people are with posting everything about their children.
All for the clout.
I don’t have children, but even still, why do you want randos to know every single thing about your children?
Good god right??? We have a kid and don’t post her online.I just consider it irresponsible to plaster your kids pics online, to share where they go to school/daycare, Etc.
I wish everyone would leave their children out of the web, have "the talk" about online privacy and let them decide for themselves if/when/how they want to engage in social media etc.
Came here to say this but yeah, as a Gen Xer I remember the time when we had some privacy in life. I watched it slowly disappear and it's sad. I feel like in the future real privacy will be a luxury only afforded by the very rich and hermits.
I'm a proud hermit lol. Not really, but I do value my privacy. I have always been a private person because I don't think everyone should know everything. I use social media very very sparingly, if at all. I don't see a point in posting everything online- what I ate for lunch, where I went this weekend, etc. Getting off social media has been AMAZING for my mental health bc everything always felt like a competition.
The real scary thing about data privacy isn't that everyone can see the pictures you share. I used to work in data sec; phones are constantly tracking your location, and not just "what store are you at" kinda info, it's "what exact shelf in the store were you standing in front of". Companies can buy this data in bulk and start putting out more targeted ads based on that information, and I know it sounds crazy, but it goes even deeper than that. If you live with a partner or someone else with a phone, whoever has that data can recognize that two devices are regularly in close proximity to each other and start showing both people ads based on each others profiles. And sure, folks will say "it's just ads, its no big deal.", but *is* it just ads? You can do a LOT with the data people share. Anything from creating profiles of political beliefs by location based on peoples searches - think, drawing voting district lines with that data - to matching people to known crimes based on their location data giving their proximity to the crime. I understand how "tin foil hat" that can sound if you don't know much about tech, but without rigorous data privacy protections built into our legislation, our lack of privacy will only get worse.
At least you have a plan 🙏🏼
I don't understand plans that don't involve Tahiti
You just gotta have *faith!*
ORTHOR! SOME GAD DAMNED FAYITH!
Just one more job Arthur!
I've heard Guarma is a great place to move after retiring
Just stay out of the sugar business.
We just need a little more *money*, Arthur...
We can be mango farmers
It’s a magical place
I have an unopened box of Frozen -themed breakfast cereal I've saved for the last 7 years. We'll be unstoppable.
Movies made 30 years from now. Nostalgia always runs in 20 year cycles.
Hang on to your clothes, kids, because fashion is cyclical. I have clothes in my closet from 2005 waiting to make a reappearance... At my next yard sale.
Edit: I forgot to verb.
These clothes are huge amongst teens in the UK at least. The y2k look is big
Considering how much nostalgia from the 80s to 2000s is recycled... I'd say it's 50 or 60 tops.
“Aight, my grandchildren. Now we gonna watch a movie about.. family. Fasten your seatbelts it’s time for getting furious”
"Dad... why is this Vince Diesel Oil guy talking about family so much?"
"dad, what happened to the entire plot of the first movie, why isn't he a cop anymore?"
Being able to be anonymous online.
Excellent point, Tom.
Uh, I'm over here
Congrats on the MySpace sale buddy
Privacy in general. Assume youare being tracked everywhere.
I needed to give my name address and email address to go swimming this week. The worlds gone mad.
I walked out went home and found out every swimming pool in the area are owned by the same company so I had to relent in the end as I really wanted to go swimming.
Just give them a fake address?
Sunnyvale Trailer Park #123
If they ask hobbies:
I think this is already dead. You can be anonymous to other people, but there are entities and agencies that identify people based on how they move their mouse. You have to be Snowden paranoid to browse without being IDd by anyone
Is it even being paranoid if it's true?
People look at me funny when I allude to privacy being nonexistent and needing to take measures to counter tracking. It's not like I'm a prepper emerging to preach to the world about Armageddon, just a normal dude opposed to society hurtling toward 1984-level surveillance while people around me seem to opt in at every chance.
Being able to do basic maintenance on your car without needing a shop manual and a years salary worth of special tools
John Deere has entered with BMW in tow.
John Deere was remotely disabled because it detected it was worked on in a non-authorised shop
It's about the BMW, though, where the owner canceled the annual subscription for seat heating and unfortunately the ignition too.
that's something people are alredy nostalgic for lmao. my car was made while Truman was president you can do almost everything yourself it's crazy.
I think you mean oil changes wont be possible in the future which does make sense
Dude. My subaru manual is 6000 pages long and doesn't actually tell you how to fix things, just how to change parts.
My 1970's rototiller manual has phrases like "if this can't be found, weld a small section of scedule 40 pipe to piece Y as a temporary fix".
My favorite parts from the manual of a 73 ford I had included “support engine with an appropriately sized block of wood”, and disposing of used valves by burying them in the woods (sodium filled valves can explode if they break)
"Just bury it in your backyard" - How to properly dispose of any caustic substance before the 1980s.
It'll be spoken of like Atlantis. A utopia of giants, weed, prostitutes, and bicycles.
God made heaven and earth, but the Dutch made the Netherlands.
And even god had to admit: yea thats pretty good
I think they'll definitely still be around in the 2070s. Don't underestimate the Dutch; their coastal engineering is so good that it would take 4+ meter sea level rise to wipe them out, even though a large portion of their land is already below sea level.
If that's what they can do now, imagine what they can do in 2050.
Oh boy, here come countries on legs.
*Mortal Engines intensifies*
As a Dutchie, I imagine the future earth being just one ball of water, some archipelagos here and there and this one odd land donut, where you can gaze over the edge and see us eating cheese and smoking weed down below
That's because you're high.
The Netherlands will outlast all other countries. They will make rising sealevels their neighbours problem.
Keys. Even more specific vehicle keys.
Even more specific Alicia Keys.
And the Florida Keys.
Well shiiiit. Nostalgic about that already.
Social media. Not because it’s good, but because whatever comes next will probably suck more.
It's called [Shitter](https://southpark.cc.com/video-clips/m31v1z/south-park-it-s-called-shitter).
*flush* And that's another deuce for *The Gossip Toilet*
Back when social media was just on a phone, and not implanted on a chip in your brain. Personalised ads in your dreams
*Brought to you by LightSpeed Briefs*
"Didn't you have ads in the twentieth century?" -Leela
"Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio...and in magazines...and movies, and at ballgames, and on buses, and milk cartons, and T-shirts, and bananas, and written in the sky. But not in dreams, no sirree." -Fry
Amy: "We all have commercials in our dreams, but you don't see us running off to buy brand new merchandise at low low prices."
You just summed up the 2000s.
Man I wanted a Myspace sooo bad but by the time I was old enough Facebook was the big thing. Never seemed the same. Like Myspace was where your friends cool older siblings hang out, and Facebook felt like a place where you have to be the version of yourself that you are when your parents are watching you like hawks
There was a really brief time where Facebook was kinda like how you described Myspace. You could only get an account by invite and have a university email address. It was cool and novel, but then they opened it up and everyone's parents joined.
My husband. He loves Facebook. He doesn't post a lot, he just loves creeping on the people he knows.
When it comes to our son, he wants to be friends with all his friends on fb (he's not), and now that the kid is going to University my husband is on all the possible school pages. He tries to get me to join but.... yeah no I am involved in my son's life personally, he lets us in, there is no reason to be all up in everything but that's what my husband loves. He gets mad when I won't join the pages too. I know if i I did I would be depriving him of his joy of gossiping.
That’s some damn good parenting on your behalf. Always let your kids have their own life, if you stalk them they’ll just distance themselves from you.
I think there will be a next generation form of social media. Wether this is the metaverse or some other form. I think you're right and social media is going to change a lot in the future
Early 2000s internet where you could search something on Google and your biometric data and search records weren’t sent to 50+ government agencies and data mining firms
Adblock/skippable ads. In the future decade I can see repeatable unblockable ads becoming mainstream in places like YouTube, Netflix, etc…
I'm already nostalgic for that... We're heading now to minutes long ads and this sucks so much when I think of the original YouTube
I think all this would do is make it easier to walk away from these platforms/forms of entertainment.
The number of wild animals that exist and can be seen. They are already on the decline.
I already miss seeing hedgehogs while walking home (this is in England), their numbers have been dwindling for quite some time.
There'd be more habitats for them if they just shared the hedge.
A comment so stupid I wish it was mine
30 years ago you used to hear mass chorus of birds every morning where I live those birds are mostly gone now there's a few chirps but nothing like their previous Glory in another 50 years I'm betting they're almost all going to be gone.
Not just animals. Insects. I remember even in the 90s after a drive through the country your car would be covered in squashed bugs. These days like none.
It's kind of incredible (in a scary, morbid way) that, basically, people started noticing this exact phenomenon of not having so many bugs hit your windscreen, and then scientists studied and confirmed it.
I used to have a job the included a lot of traveling to a factory in the middle of nowhere through country roads. Year over year I would see less and less bugs on the windshield. It went from carrying extra washer fluid to only using my wipers if it rained
Bugs. I was just telling my wife that I havent seen one of those small white butterflies for the entire year and we're already getting into fall.
I remember as a kid our yard would have at least 4 at any given time.
Fireflies, man. They used to be all over for weeks. Now we're lucky to see a half-dozen in our yard. Very little comes so close to real-life magic as a field full of fireflies.
Meanwhile two neighbors on my block have bug-zappers that they just leave on 24/7. Guarantee they're killing far more beneficial insects than mosquitoes or whatever they think it's for.
As a schoolboy I remember a teacher telling us that our children wouldn’t see butterflies as often as we did, if at all. That’s come true.
68% drop in wildlife count since 1970. Like, all of it. Fish, birds, insects, mammals. You name it, humanity is killing it.
Jesus Christ, 94% in Latin America.
That's so sad, no wonder I don't see any wild life here in Brazil anymore, even when you go to the middle of the forest, if you see a single bird you're lucky.
I’m already there. I grew up spending summers at my grandparents’ house on the Chesapeake bay, and when I was a kid you could walk out into the water and scoop up Blue Crabs with a net, there were so many of them.
We take our children now, and it’s rare to see more than one or two in a day.
Over fishing and fuckheads that just leave crab pots in the water for weeks or months at a time without checking them have decimated the population over the last 20 years.
This seems interesting to me, I’m from the pnw and we crab for Dungeness here but our problem is illegal crabbing during off seasons or taking females/juveniles. People will steal the crab out your pots if you leave them out for the day. I couldn’t imagine abandoning my pot. Legally we have to write our name and # on each buoy. I went crabbing 3x this year and made it out with 2 Dungeness where as years past my pot would be teaming with them.
I remember one year before I had a boat I would throw my pot in at the pier and the locals were ruthless with their crabbing. Anything they caught like dog shark or star fish, they would hack into bait. If they caught juvenile crabs, *they would leave them out to die on the pier so they wouldn’t renter their pots. * this made me so upset that I would walk around pushing the juvenile crabs back into the water and say “how do you expect to have more crab for next year if you’re killing their offspring??”
People can be heartless when crabbing.
That one month when everyone was playing Pokemon Go
That PoGo summer was basically the opposite of the pandemic
2020 was Pokémon Stay
I've wrote out the basics for Pokemon Gone, where PoGo and COVID happened at the same time, and everyone gets COVID and dies. Definitely an interesting idea to ponder.
Summer 16 was a great fucking time man. Great music and pokémon go.
Killers clowns were kind of funny too. 6 years ago now.
That was a crazy time tbh. Rip harambe. It switched our timeline.
May 28, 2016. The day the world changed forever
July of 2016. A simpler time.
Just me, my Hamilton soundtrack, and a day of huntin’ Pokémon. Pure bliss.
For the first time I’m looking past tomorrow.
Well I am already nostalgic about it
The closest we came to world peace.
And all we had to do was ignore everything around us
Bruh it's a fun game I still play it, even though we may be on our phones at least we're outside and walking
I was at a club the other day and the dude next to me was playing pokemon GO. I wonder what kind of pokemon frequent Gay Clubs.
Shit like Machop
I am still playing it 🥲
Me too! I love the look on another person’s face when they see my plus or see that I’m playing so we can friend one another
"Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence!"
Clean air and water depending how things turn out for the planet.
If things get better, the Simpsons.
Nah, the Simpsons will still be around in 50 years. They’ll out live us all.
Everything about today's art, style, decor, culture, movies, shows, music and news events.
It will seem old fashioned and from a simpler time, in 50 years.
It’s always been that way though. There are a ton of movies and musicals set in the 1910’s that were made in the early 1960’s. 1810’s fashion/architecture/style was based on an obsession with the ancient Greeks. We’re constantly nostalgic for earlier generations and cultures
The Renaissance was just Europe being nostalgic for the classical era.
And the Roman Empire's architecture was just them being nostalgic about ancient Greek architecture.
*Homo sapiens* cave art was just being nostalgic for *Homo neanderthalensis’* cave art.
Yep and look at pretty much all westerns, they were all made well after the time they represented (obviously).
Every generation does the retro thing. I’m in my 40s and we revived ska for God’s sake. And swing.
Privacy, there's barely any left now.
Coral reefs :(
Already nostalgic about that
Air and water.
My Mum speaks about how every winter in the 70s, there would always be massive amounts of snow that would stay around for days.
I've only had 2 times in my life where snow has stuck around for a day. The rest of snow days would either never stick to the ground or it'll stick, but it'll melt away within the hour. It's rare that we get snow.
God I remember snow days, where you got a day off from school because getting there was too difficult.
No kid where I'm from has gotten a snow day since I became an adult.
Last year my kids managed to get a snow day, but the district turned them into "remote learning day"s instead so they didn't actually get a day off. I don't think they'll ever have a snow day again.
Id tell the school at that point to fuck off and let my kids have fun at home or outside.
My kids school actually put out a survey to the parents about what to do on a snow day since e learning was now an option thanks to it being ironed out during covid. It was overwhelmingly supported that on a snow day the kids should have an actual snow day. They only go to e learning on a snow day if the school has used up its allotment of snow days for the year.
Wilderness spaces with little or no human settlement
The smell of petrol/diesel.
they can always buy dior fahrenheit
My father used this deodorant for years.
He was allergic to all deodorants except this one.
I don't know how or why, I have a similar problem. I exclusively use Old Spice "Swagger" deodorant because I started breaking out from every other brand and scent. And the allergy appeared seemingly overnight, I did not have this problem until I was about 28 years old. I even wrote Proctor and Gamble to ask them how Swagger was different from their other products but they wouldn't tell me because of trade secrets. Did send me a few coupons though.
You should see whether they have to abide by FDA regulations for that. I know you don’t eat or drink it, but for some reason I think toiletries are also regulated by the FDA or some other government entity. Might be able to get an ingredient list.
Also, go get an allergy test done. That may help narrow down what’s causing the inflammation.
Also known as Mad Max for Men.
And to have a clutch in your car