By - jannecraft
How many photographs taken by other people I'm in.
I actually asked myself that before
What was your answer?
I've been to theme parks probably 500 times so far and people are taking pix all the time. I'd really be interested in this one.
I used to be a raft guide and so was regular photographed with random families in my boat. I found out after the fact that I had been on one families Christmas card the previous year.
Deaths indirectly responsible for
"You were neither directly nor indirectly responsible for anybody's death..."
"Oh, thank God."
"...Until a couple minutes ago when your brain aneurysm caused you to swerve off that overpass above the orphanage."
"And here's the kids who wanted to say hi!" (curtain lifts)
I laughed way harder at this than I should have.
How many people I was attracted to were also attracted to me and I had no idea
Number of hints that I didn't get.
0, you’re all clear
I don't know if I should feel good or bad about that.
oh we can go negative numbers if youd like.
That means people you were interested in were not only not interested in you, but were repulsed by you.
Depends on how many "hits" you had.
If you have been with enough or many partners, and you didn't miss any hint, then you should feel great. If you didn't find any partner, that would be another blow to your ego I guess.
Way to torture yourself
No kidding, right? I NEVER want to know. I'm either gonna be super pissed or super let down. No in between.
If you grow old with the same group of friends, you learn a lot about this. I'm safe to say I missed at least 80% of the hints.
When it comes back zero you're like "oh fuck I really was a loser".
Um, that's actually Hell.
Men who asked me out - Did that person forget about me instantly, or did they end up thinking about me for a very long time. Like I’d be curious who liked me the most and maybe I wasn’t even aware.
Where all my lost things went.
And how many times I was this close to running into a person I knew.
I have daydreams that my future self traveled back in time to steal them from me as souvenirs.
But once stolen the event does not come to pass that makes it as meaningful, resulting in you later going back in time for a souvenir but it’s something different (the next thing you lose), and so forth.
I have a few.
Who I thought about the most.
A break down of my lifetime cash flow. Even the $2 I blew at the gas station when I was 5.
How many people actually enjoy my company
Man I’ve done the math and estimated how much this will be for myself with inflation and what not just working.
It’s kind of depressing when you realise you’re gated by time and time is equivalent to money and you need money to make your time more enjoyable.
When you really start to try and min max everything it’s just depressing as hell.
Yeah in your childhood money was just money but when you get older and work for yourself the bread that you buy is not with money but with your lifetime
Yeah, a thorough chart of net worth in a lifetime with pinpointed highest and lowest point and trends, I want that.
Except does a dime i lost under a couch a year ago still count as my net worth? Technically it does belong to me right?
How many serial killers I’ve unknowingly encountered in life
Good to see that you are still surviving after all the encounter.
Maybe one of these is the final one 👀
Or maybe it's you!
I'd imagine once you died and see the stats screen that number goes from 0 to 1.
This one would scare me. Crazy to think how many people you walk past in the shops everyday and what they may have done in there life.
How many times my gut instinct was right and I truly avoided a catastrophe.
My grandpa's friend invited me and my brothers to fly on his plane.
I was super excited but the night before I dreamed I was on the plane and the guy let me pilot, and I just crashed the plane and killed everyone. I woke up with such a feeling of dread I didn't go. (didn't tell anyone why)
in the afternoon my siblings come home telling how amazing it was and that the guy let them pilot for a bit.
Still wonder about it.
Wow, that's dark...it would be hard to forget after your brothers came in saying they flew/controlled the plane
That's a good one !
Times I was right when others said I was wrong
I think this is the most beautiful things that happens to someone.
Too many times for even heaven to keep track of.
Times I was wrong when others said I was right would be good too
How many times I almost died without knowing it.
That's would be great, just a list full of stuff like "had you bought 6 lottery tickets instead of 5 you woudlve won a trip abroad and you woudlve died in a plane crash"
cum. how many buckets
I actually did some math on this back when I was a teenager. Based on likely ejaculation numbers at various ages times the average jizz volume of 3.5ml. The average 70 year old dude has jizzed appx 7 gallons over their life, averaging a gallon of jizz per decade.
Taking that a step further, the average bucket is 10 liters. The liter calculation was at 26.9L, so that leaves you with two and 3/4 ish buckets of cum.
Take your upvote and award and gtfo of here.
Brb, jerking off to up my lifetime buckets to 3. Todays redditing has inspired me to be above average.
Jared I told you to quit putting your cum into buckets, you already have 4 why do you need more?
From now on, this is the cum jar.
Its me, or the cum jar
Do you know why they call me ten gallon tim?
I know, you are the legend who could chug ten gallons of cum in one go.
My mom is a very oblivious person and I just know her numbers would be so high lmao.
She traveled up the coast of California to Canada when she was 17 with her girlfriends at the same time Ted Bundy was finding girls exactly like that in the exact same area.
And she used to walk home past Richard Ramirez’s (the Night Stalker) auto shop every day after work while he was working 😂🥲
Damn! So that's your moms picture in the dictionary next to "lucky"
or his moms picture with "HAHA! they never even suspected me when I framed those dudes".
>My mom is a very oblivious person and I just know her numbers would be so high lmao.
thought we were talking about her gallons of cum consumed. I was gonna say that's not a very nice thought or thing to say about your mother. Even mentioning she traveled up the west coast through California and Canada still thought you were talking about all the dudes her and her girlfriends banged on her journey
Damn yo momma must be ugly as hell
But how do we define almost dying? I feel like we're always inches away from death. Like every time a car doesn't cross the center lane and hit me head on is almost dying.
Exactly! I read something one time that said: we are all 5 minutes away from death, but every time we take another breath, it resets the clock.
Dream Theater says, "Every breath leaves us one less to our last."
*holds breath because I’m stubborn*
That's the beauty of thr quote - it still holds true because your last breath made you closer to your last, regardless of how many you take.
Yeah I was just being silly. I always say if I have a certain amount of heartbeats, why exercise and speed it up? (Also kidding) lol :)
The ratio of good/decent/bad/indifference impressions I left in people. That would also double as how many people I’ve interacted with too ig.
Tho I also wanna know how many trees I’ve climbed
So like a relationship % rating in The Sims?
Wife - 43%
oh my god I love you
the username confirms
How many 'alternate-life paths' I overlooked. You know those things that could have lead to a completely different set of paths. (Like choice of study in college)
I wouldn't be married to my wife right now if I had made just one simple choice to give up and walk past her instead of stopping to say sorry when I saw her at the store. Crazy how some choices make all the difference.
Did you bump into her or just start randomly with sorry
It's a long story but I accidentally stood her up on a date. I locked my keys and phone in my car and had to drive a friends car across town to get my spare key. I ended up missing our date and had no way to contact her until hours after it was suppose to start. She was at a friends house upset about me ditching her, and her friend took her phone and blocked my number. I sent a bunch of text messages and tried calling once I got my phone out of my car but none went through of course.. so I just stopped and gave up.
About a month later I saw her at the grocery store buying bread. I stood there for a fer moments deciding on whether I should just leave her alone or go talk to her. I decided to talk to her, say sorry, and explain the situation. She forgave me, we had a chat, and unblocked my number that night to text me.
If I hadn't have talked to her right then and there I probably would never have seen her again because it was unusual for her to be at that store that day since she lived on the other side of town and just happened to be in the area.
Thank you for sharing such a cool story.
I am deep in the feels because my cousin plays the female in your story.
It took her a while to believe him but they are dating again AND I hope it works out for her as it has foe you.
This story is better than half the rom coms out there.
(David Attenborough voice) - here we watch the Canadian male start the mating ritual by calling out. Suggestions of going to Tim Hortons is soon to follow.
☠😂😂I give you the wholesome award for making my tea come out of my nose.
No way they’re giving away their secret move for free
“Hey, don’t skip this ad. In just five minutes I can tell you the secret to pick up *any girl* you meet.”
*five minutes later*
“So yeah just click on my link and that will take you to my two hour masterclass on the five simple steps you need to take to impress the ladies”
Same here. If I had stolen someone else’s chair at a certain party or just chosen to stand, I wouldn’t be married to my husband or have my kid. It’s a scary thought!
I met my partner one night when I was ditched meeting a friend for dinner I said fuck it went to the climbing gym met her there we started dating about a year later and 5 years after here we are still together
I met my man whilst walking home from a friend's to get chips cheese and gravy. He drove past with mutual friends in the car who encouraged him to turn around and invite us to their "get together".
18 years and 3 kids later I consider myself lucky I got stoned and had a bad case of the munchies all those years ago because had I not, I know my life would be really different now, I was on a downward spiral and he showed me what life is meant to be outside the darkness ❤️
See thats what i think about a lot. How many great chances you missed just because you didnt try.
I can't stop thinking of a chess overview in the afterlife.
Missed chance at mate.. many times :(
Hours in front of a computer - although I can pretty much ballpark it ~ 100k so far.
That’s over 11 years of screen time. Damn
How many times I said "yes" to something I didn't want to do because I can't say no to people
How many times I said "no" to something I'd probably have enjoyed because I'm not good around people.
If I made a positive difference in anyone's life.
I would need a list of which times tho. I would love to see when I unknowingly made someone's day with a small gesture
People I don't know at all have made my day better. I hope they can somehow know that also since I have no ability to tell them that.
I was gonna say how much I fapped, now I feel quite silly
Charisma. Sometimes it feels like a solid zero, but occasionally I think I’ve pulled out a +1000
That sounds more like a high luck stat to me
Dude is a unbeatable sorcerer
Liters of blood bled
At that point I would want to compare the average of men and women
Lol women would dominate that fs, but it would be interesting to see the charts!
Oh for sure, I'm just curious by how large of a magnitude.
Well assuming everything else is equal, and she DOESN'T birth a child or stop her period, 27 litres more on average. Per natural birth add half a litre and per ceasarian add 1 litre.
Edit. Factor of 10.
For a sec there I thought you said on average women bleed 27 liters of blood per natural birth and was really confused for a moment
Yes on average women die multiple times during natural birth, hahah.
This is the one damn thing i was thinking after this comment.
So funny how many guys took this as an insult. Women literally bleed from their genitals once a month, it has nothing to do with whatever bullshit people go through in their lives.
How many soulmates I have in my area.
How many times there really were hot singles in my area.
I can tell you that while you're alive!
How many life changing opportunities I missed
"Well the biggest opportunity you missed was by not choosing to slow down for that yellow light. If you had, we wouldn't be having this conversation until much later."
How many times and whose dreams I showed up in.
And what was happening in those dreams
Random friends from elementary school I haven’t seen since 7th grade pop up in mine a weird amount
That's actually a good one.
If I had any natural talents I never discovered
Turns out i could've....... throw matches with pinpoint accuracy into people butcracks.
Funny I saw that skill in my after death statistics screen as well too bad never used it you know all those many times that I wish I could throw a match up somebody's butt but I never had the confidence to try
Sometimes i feel that i have the hidden talent that it is hidden for me is well.
I thought about it when I started playing tennis at 25. I was like "what if I'm great at it and could have followed a career as a tennis player".
As it turns out, I wasn't great at it. But still wonder if my mediocrity extends to infinite :)
How much time I procrastinated.
It's way, way down at the bottom.
Shit sounds like a lot of work, I'll look at it later.
But if I procrastinate my homework by doing cleaning the house, am I procrastinating or being productive?
If you are cleaning the house to avoid the homework then it would be procrastinating
Bro, no. These numbers will hurt like nothing else
Most used words
Probably cuss words and "the" "a" "and" and others
kurwa, dupa, chuj, essa
Polish people's statistics
How many people cared about me.
Order people I know by "hated me the most" and "loved me the most", with an 0-100 love index. That would be neat. And sad.
The same people would probably be at both ends of the spectrum.
If i didnt die naturally it would be the age i would naturally die at. If i died naturally id like to know how much hours ive sat down. Idk should be interesting
It wasn’t a man made death.
Number of people who found me attractive
Positive influences I had on people
Happiest I ever made people
The times I most impressed someone
The people who were most attracted to me
The worst influences I had on people
Yeah I'd love to see how many kills in video games I have
Wait video game kills right ..... right!
If someone ever had a crush on me or not
As someone's who's completely oblivious to when people are into me this would be interesting.
Watch out for more than normal eye contact and breaking the physical barrier, even sometimes just a touch on the shoulder. Also in a group setting, if someone cracks a joke then looks to see your reaction.
Obviously none of them are guaranteed, some people are more tactile and some make good eye contact anyway, but signs to look out for nonetheless
How many times i fucked something up without knowing it in that moment.
example: Realationships, lottery, ...
That could be interesting
That would be depressing as fuck. At least for me.
Positive memories left in strangers minds
Near death experiences (knowingly and unknowingly)
how many people wanted to be friends with me.
Average poop velocity
Before colliding with pants
Now I'm curious about my average vomit velocity; projectile vomiter here.
Popularity cause for some reason I get talked about a lot and simply I don’t have any friends for 4 years and yet I hear or see people saying this and that. It’s just funny but after a while I’m wondering who started all of this
Last year, I ran into a girl that I went to high school with. The crazy thing was, even though I never once spoke to her, or even had the same friends group, she knew my name. Sometimes in life you'll run across someone that you don't know from a can of paint, but they'll know you, simply because of a superficial connection, like attending the same school, or living in the same neighborhood.
How many hours spent awake vs being asleep.
I'd like to see a lot of things, but one I'm really curious about is what are all the things I was or could have been in the top 1% of?
How many things did I never know I could have been one of the best at?
Things like this make me want to be able to relive my life and make different choices, just to see what it's like.
How many people I liked liked me back and neither one of us said anything cause we were too scared
What percentage of time was I wrong in online discussions
Can someone explain why my score is over one hundred?
How many people casually smelled my farts as I was walking through a grocery store aisle.
I don't think casually is the right word here. Maybe unwillingly or forced. Definitely not casually. That would be an interesting Stat though. Someone noticed you farther then casually walk over and sniff.
Numbers of times I could’ve died but had missed death by one decision.
How many times I disappointed my father
Damn bro you took a dark turn with this thread.
How many full cows and chickens I ate
How many kilograms of poop I pooped
Number of times I got anxious over nothing
I’d like to see the orgasm ratio of masturbation to sex over time. There were some depressing times in some relationships…
Also interested in volume and distance
Frequency, intervals, daily record and how much of life time was taken
That's easy to calculate... well, you could cum close to the real number.
Let's say you started when you were 12, and let's say you are 40 now... that's about 10,220 days not counting leap years. Then multiply that by the average amount of times you believe you crank. So for me, thats somewhere around 30,660. Give or take 5,000.
sorry, 3 times a day?
This gave me a flash back to elementary school when one of the boys in my class got his first boner and was holding his track pants tight to show it off. Someone asked if hes played with it and how much. Think I was 11 at the time. At the time a bunch of boys standing around staring at another's boner did not seem gay.
Times ghosts were nearby I need to know if I actually saw something or not
Spiders swallowed during sleep
How many millionaire ideas i had
If anyone loves me
Number of times I saw a butt
I would love to see a line graph showing how close I came to death up until I actually died. Were there close calls I was completely oblivious to? Were things I thought dangerous actually completely not? Or were there times I thought it was no big deal but actually could have died?
For some people I suppose the line might get crossed if you had to be resuscitated?
How many dogs did I pet
How many pounds or kilograms of food I had eaten.
So many, how many times I made love.
How many times I almost died.
How many times I went over 100mph.
How many times I said fuck.
How many times I said thank you or your welcome.
How many whole pizzas I'd eaten.
I would be interested in a statistical analysis of how often you said: "how many times"
How many people who have had a crush on me only for there hearts to be broken
This is kind of a weird one but maybe like an "existential intelligence/ development" stat if there was some kind of objective measure.
You never really get to understand most people on a deep philosophical level so I think it would be interesting to see how I compare relative to other people in depth of thought or time spent pondering philosophical questions when it comes to life.
Top 5 most watched movies/tv shows
List of people I positively impacted through my actions, how, and what would’ve happened if I didn’t exist.
My % accuracy for gut feelings where I just avoided a person/event.
How many truths I believed to be lies, and how many lies I believed to be true (and what each was). Who lied to me the most and who was most honest; who I lied to the most and who I was most honest with. How many lies I told myself, and what they were.
Total farting time
How many times I made my wife happy.