T O P
Its_General_Apathy

Put power outlet stickers on the walls at the airport.


Knowitmall

Nice. This isn't the top in terms of potential but definitely up there in terms of effort to reward.


Macaframa

You wouldn’t get it all at once but this is a way to get a few dozen a day at least. This guy is playing the long game


jdog7249

Also you will be raking in cash for a long time. Most of these are a one and done payment but this could go on for a long time.


notapunk

People here are thinking too small. Cause a significant delay in the start of a big game - Super Bowl, World Series, Stanley Cup, etc. Everyone there and the millions watching at home will be annoyed. Boom. Instant billionaire.


DAMNIT_RENZO

Run out on the field, then pretend to have a seizure so they get the ambulance and stretcher out there. Right as they're about to put you on the stretcher, that's when you rip the clothes off and start streaking.


flaccomcorangy

This would be entertainment. Does it count if it only annoys people for a short time? This is a story people will laugh at and tell future generations about. Plus, I think people are really underestimating how difficult it would be to get past security and cause a significant disruption in the super bowl or major sports event. You'd have to find a way to cut power to the stadium Super Bowl 47 style.


Crizznik

Then you have the question of, do they need to know it was you who annoyed them to count for the 1000$? If you don't need that, you could just go out and lay in traffic for a couple hours.


teamwoofel

Okay Antonio Brown


NobodysFavorite

Replace the intro music with baby shark.


Taipan-05

Make 3 unskipable ads in youtube


Awez07

Plus each ad with length of 60 seconds. UNSKIPABLE!!


DriftingNova

And put them before each YouTube short.


yeahgamers

Stop before youtube does that


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Heroic1768

now calm down satan, it says annoy, not commit a crime against humanity


riscten

Lots of beautifully annoying ideas in the comments, but nearly all of them are underestimating how hard it is to annoy a million people. As a software developer, the closest I got to reaching that kind of audience was when I worked at a big game studio on a heavily marketed AAA title. So this is what I'd do: on one and only one menu in the game, I would invert what the A and B button do (or O/X on PS). While players would rely on muscle memory to back out of menus using B and confirming selection using A, in that one menu, pressing B would confirm and pressing A would back out.


TheNorthComesWithMe

You worked on the owl in Ocarina of Time?


my-name-is-puddles

The setting to swap that around is the single best thing about the unofficial PC port.


LordGalen

>unofficial PC port. There's a what now? Please sir, could I have a link? Edit: Nobody reads replies, do they? I got it now, thanks everybody. https://github.com/HarbourMasters/Shipwright


cassholex

You just unlocked a memory. Thank you.


Knowitmall

Yea. The only one who has absolutely nailed it so far is the one who said to disrupte a major sports event. Delaying kick-off of the superbowl for a while would instantly annoy like 100 million people. Your one is a decent effort at it compared to others.


SouthSilly

You gotta hack into the superbowl feed a minute into the game and play the Six Flags "We Like To Party" commercial with the old guy dancing on repeat


chaoticthoughts1970

Find Colin Robinson


Anarchysparky12

Or the child-like creature which crawled out of the chest cavity of our dear, dead former friend, Colin Roninson.


purplecatmeowmeow

The Boy


Beleng68

"Hey, guess what?"


Mkitty760

Chicken butt


ProvocativeHotTakes

Make a DIY video on painting your car with house paint and someone is next to me telling me how amazing it's looking.


pintotheevil

For some reason I found this hilarious


jim2300

First time in this thread I laughed out loud. This would invoke rage.


handlebartender

With the cheapest roller possible


Silent-G

And don't forget to go over the windows and mirrors, landlord style.


reality4abit

No, tape them off, just extremely poorly.


GingerBeardicus86

Leave the tape on for weeks before you remove it for extra residual tape glue


bettywhite63

Going on the NYC subway during rush hour and soliciting money by singing or trying to do a shitty dance routine in a crowded car


poppunkrosegold

Witnessed this recently. Dude went full acoustic guitar w vocals on the 4 around 7am, I would’ve paid the guy a grand to stfu lmao. Shout out to the one guy who spoke up, yelling “IT’S EARLY” and then going back to sleep.


zoomer296

Anyway, here's wonderwall.


livebeta

but don't you want to see me pole dance on this super crowded rush hour traincar?


torqtea

Take a loan, buy an ad spot at the superbowl, say bud light sucks. I’ll be a billionaire within minutes.


TacTurtle

“Bud Light: Almost Beer for Almost-Could People”


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SunRealistic1114

Okay...genuinely clever, nice job. I don't care about beer at all and I appreciate this.


Clcooper423

Take out a bunch of TV and radio ads endorsing both trump and biden simultaneously using Gilbert gottfried sound bites as the narration.


SirWigglesVonWoogly

If most people are like me they'd just be intrigued and confused and possibly amused.


Tensor3

You only need to annoy 1 person per $1000 spent on ads


nachtspectre

Which you probably would get just for the ad existing.


Phrince_Prillip

Say you like Reddit NFTs


Agreeable-Yams8972

Even more ways to get money is by saying that you buy reddit nfts. Also repost every post you see, that generally annoys people


HeftyPockets

start every post with "as an NFT owner..."


Atiggerx33

Especially if it has nothing to do with anything. "As a buyer of Reddit NFTs, I wipe back to front."


Smoolz

"Ah so you're a degenerate *and* you never learned how to wipe"


whalexte

Go slightly under the speed limit on a long two lane road


dirt_shitters

Then speed up to 5 over as soon as you hit a stretch with a passing lane


whalexte

Definitely should’ve added that for a little razzle dazzle


Schlengge

It's okay you only need to annoy them not actually get killed by them.


figgypie

Occasionally change speeds too. Like pretend to speed up, then let off the gas and coast back down to "fuck you" speed. Your victims will look for places to hide your body as they slowly follow you.


passed_turing_test

Tap your brakes at every green light, every time you see another car, every time you get near the speed limit, etc. Extra points if you let your speed drop 10 mph at every little hill.


EnhancementShaman

ILL FUCKING CUT YOU BITCH


whalexte

JOKES ON YOU, IM INTO KNIFE PLAY


ex-toria

Post the answer to wordle in all your social media first thing in the morning


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Necessary-Dog5278

Don't even have to brute force it. It writes a cookie with the current word in plaintext. Ctrl+Shift+I in chrome, switch to the 'application' tab in developer tools, click the drop-down next to 'local storage' in the side bar, click on 'https://www.nytimes.com' under that, click on the 'nyt-wordle-state' row in the table on the right side, then in the preview pane below that you'll see `solution: "pinch"'` or whatever the word happens to be. https://imgur.com/a/mQRU8a5


TheEyeDontLie

Dude! Awesome! I'm gonna get my comeuppance on Aunty Natalie this week. Every day I'll do it in 2 or 3 (1 would be too obvious a cheat). WHO'S THE BEST AT WORDLE NOW? HUH?!! Ooh I'm gonna rub it in her smug face.


annotipoxx

You don’t have to stop there. You can actually find the word list that dates a few years into the future. You can have every answer of everyday sent automatically.


flynnguy

Tweet the word the day before


Tex_Bootois

When you're this happy to cheat to beat them your Aunt Nataly must be an epic bitch.


LevibarAlphaeus

Plot twist... /u/Necessary-Dog5278 is Aunty Natalie


ShhhhhhImAtWork

20? You mean every corporate email you can scrape off of websites so every person sitting down to do wordle after they check their emails can see it.


drebin8

The answer is embedded in the page


late2scrum

My grandparents are punching the air rn


MayIServeYouWell

It would be the onset of a war


slayalldayyyy

My mom sends me a full fucking screen shot of hers. I started doing the wordle at 12:01.


Guilty-Speaker7044

Does she know about the share button which sends her score in a non-spoiling way?


slayalldayyyy

Oh yeah. Showed her in person. Also screen recorded the steps accompanied by text instructions. Lasted 2 days. Gotta love my mom.


si1versmith

She sounds like a 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩.


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Scarlett137

Start arguing with everyone on Reddit Edit: Y'all heard me, bitch


crustdrunk

Go to /r/relationships and tell every OP that divorce is NOT a solution. Every downvote = $1k. You’d be rich overnight Edit: if dissing cringe subreddits for upvotes = 1k I’d be loaded right now, sigh EDIT 2: I s2g OP has created a new kind of existential angst and now owes me $5.5m cough it up OP


Scarlett137

Could also go to subreddits like r/offmychest and r/confession and talk about how you literally enjoy emotionally abusing and ghosting your partner, while also cheating on them with a sexually incestuous relationship. Watch the downvotes pour in my guy


crustdrunk

“I proposed to my gf during my best man speech at my brother’s wedding. My family are mad, AITA?” Every YTA over 20 words = 1k. Make several throwaways and post the same question repeatedly


justadrtrdsrvvr

I saw one the other day where the guy puts money on the table at a restaurant and takes it away when he's not happy with service. It was taken down rather quickly.


Merlord

Oh I've seen that before, original story is over a year old at least


justadrtrdsrvvr

I think this guy was serious. It wasn't on AITA. I don't remember the sub he posted on, but he had deleted the post within about an hour. Didn't realize how much shit he would get for being such a douche


KarathSolus

Saw one person try that shit at the bar and grill I worked at many moons ago. The bartenders and waitresses had him ejected via bouncer with the owners blessing. Dude whined the whole time about how it was just a joke and he didn't even get his food or pay the bill. Second best Friday night ever.


kinyutaka

> he didn't even get his food or pay the bill. Then the joke is on him, he paid his 20% tip.


Casualte

Imo the best way to piss of ALL of Reddit is say: 1. GOT season 8 was good in r/freefolk. 2. Donald Trump is a very nice guy in any subreddit really. 3. Atheism is not backed by science in r/atheism. 4. Profit.


LOTRfreak101

You could also just do what EA did that one time.


IceDragon77

Man, that felt like yesterday. Funny thing is, all the backlash worked. Battlefront 2 actually became a really awesome game after the Darth Vader micro-transaction feedback. Took about a year to get there though.


Toni_Anne1989

WHO YOU CALLING A BITCH??


Thatcoolrock

+1,000


zakkeribeanz

Get the most bang for your buck by using the threads you create to write terrible clickbait articles.


gangsta-grillz

Be the dude at the airport terminal telling people they gotta do another loop, and can’t wait there for people coming off their plane. I’d prolly only have to do a half day at LaGuardia…


KatieCashew

This becomes very confusing when you go pick someone up at a small airport. I was trying to pick up my mom, but she got lost and was having trouble finding me. While I was waiting I saw a security guard approaching. She asked if I was waiting for someone. I said I'd move because I'm used to DIA where the no waiting is strictly enforced. The security guard waved it off and asked who I was waiting for. I said my mom and that she was lost. Security guard asked for a description and then went in, found my mom and brought her out to me. I was so baffled, and grateful.


ReluctantLawyer

The downside of a small airport is how expensive it is to fly out of, but the upside is basically everything else. People are chill and helpful. No lines. Sailing straight through security.


akaWhitey2

Ehhhh depends how small. When the security checkpoint closes completely from 11-noon for the TSA guys meal break that's kinda small.


ReluctantLawyer

My closest airport has 3 gates and uses 2 of them. I love flying out of it!


Pinkbeans1

This is genius, most of the answers evoke rage. Yours..? Straight annoyance. Good job. Screw you.


anendlessfever

Our airport guy goes around on a Segway waggling his finger. Can’t even be bothered to walk around doing it lmao.


Poem_for_your_sprog

>Our airport guy goes around on a Segway waggling his finger. Can’t even be bothered to walk around doing it lmao. He glides along the airport floor with purpose, poise and pride galore - His aim is clear, his heart is true, he knows *precisely* what to do. He stops, he does his duty then - He wags his finger once again - He works with joy and when they're gone, he nods his head. He segways on.


blackwolfdown

Did you write this to the tune of Cake's The Distance?


Bagelsarenakeddonuts

I can’t not hear this now


ultimaIV

What is another loop means?


ubeogesh

i think they mean driving a private car to the airport for picking up people. So instead of parking near the entrance they want to force them circle around


BaldandersSmash

I can't say that the advice "just be yourself" has always worked out well for me, but this sounds like it might be the exception.


Spidermanzinho

Ah, self-deprecating and straight to the point. 10/10.


FuckYeahPhotography

Ah, other-affirming and straight up supportive. 10/10.


Conphilius

Go for the easy humor, 10/10


FuckYeahPhotography

Humor so easy I could swear it was your mother, 5/7


Jmpeters09

Talk about cross fit and then argue with the people on the CrossFit subs


crustdrunk

Oooh this is good. Combined with telling social media you’re vegan and then arguing in the vegan subs, you’ll be richer than Bezos


reddit_mau5

Start tweeting again.


BleachIF

Deadmau5!


pavlov_the_dog

Hi Deadmau five!


148637415963

No spoilers, please, I haven't seen Deadmau 1-4 yet.


Br35-Ba56

Wait a second.. is this the real Deadmau5??


zman9119

Yep!


Randomized_Taco

Just existing on twitter is probably enough to piss SOMEONE there off.


JustAnotherJRappin

Famous people are common on twitter. Never seen one on reddit before.


MagicCoffeeBeanSpaz

Wait until you e-meet Arnold


MalevolentRhinoceros

There's a few big name authors that post here, Brandon Sanderson and Christopher Paolini. The governor of Colorado comes to mind too.


Seth1358

As does Bill Gates, near-yearly AMAs and participates in the secret santa


pixtopher

All theses awards but none of them compare to the reward is cheese.


sluttydinosaur101

I've annoyed so many people by pronouncing your name deadmaufive


keenedge422

Close off all but one lane on 95, right through the middle of DC, at 2pm this Friday.


doorrat

A few weeks ago someone was doing 55 hauling a house in front of me on 95 through Philly with a guy in the right lane matching speed for no apparently good reason. I was pissed being stuck, but some people were losing their damn minds. This would work but I'm not sure you'd get to live to enjoy the money!


OPconfused

I so wish there was a law enforced that the left lane is strictly only for passing if traffic isn't forcing you left.


papaGiannisFan18

I also wish people had lane discipline


CedarWolf

Calm down there, Satan.


DragonairBNB

Drive through neighborhoods, windows down, music blaring.


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osgjps

Ah, I see you live in LA too.


tims69952

Nah Michigan! Every car backfires here and is loud due to modification or being too old


cockadoodle-dont

Don't forget to straight pipe your muffler too. Gotta make sure everyone in the city can hear you.


NativeMasshole

Gotta add the misaligned ultrabright HID headlights that point right in everyone's mirrors.


HortonHearsTheWho

Circling, screaming I don’t give a fuck, with the windows down and the system up


Mataraiki

Similarly, go on a two-lane interstate, find someone slow in the non-passing lane, and pace them in the passing lane. You'd annoy every single person who gets held up directly behind you and the subsequent traffic that would build up and propagate for *miles*. There's a not insignificant chance you'd be involved in a road-rage incident, but such is the risk of annoying large groups at once.


darkenedgy

Excuse you, my playlist is a gift. 60% Rammstein 40% Coldplay.


kooky_kabuki

At 6am


RealisticrR0b0t

Baaaby shark


CautiousString

I was thinking Yoko Ono but Baby Shark will do too.


Certain_Literature28

Yoko Ono screaming “Baby shark doo do doo”


Arrowmatic

I feel like excessive honking at the same time would probably vastly increase your yield on this one.


blockman16

Go for a leisurely drive in a middle lane on a highway


cyndvu

Drive the speed limit 😁


Vospire34

Talk seriously to high school students


tinnylemur189

Sit down on the front of your desk, one leg propped up on the side of it. Put hands on your knees and in your best guidance counselor voice "aight so we need to spill the tea on Marijuana abuse, no cap" and whatever other gen-z-isms you can use wrong.


Frootloops174

Actually that "no cap" was perfectly placed. Could possibly add a "fam" after and it'd still work


get_the_reference_

lowkey fam hits different, sounds cheugy that way skrrt


cranktheguy

I'm going to say this to my teen tomorrow to see if I can get his eyes to roll completely back.


StatusSea5409

When the tell a joke non chalantly say "I'm dead" instead of laughing. Or when he comes home or hanging with some friends depending on if he's wearing red or blue say "what's up bro" for red, or "what's up cuz" for blue(shoes or shirt). Make a W with your fingers and bite your lower lip. 10x funnier if you're a white suburban persons 20x if you're a woman, scar your son with the memory of a gangsta parent! Possibly kill his friends because they're laughing too hard but still earn the gangsta parent title.


AONomad

I feel so old lol


tinyhorseintapshoes

" I know you kids are into the drugs... but let me tell you, I took alot of LDS in high school, wanted to be the BMOC, but it just made me a loser. Now, I'd like to sing a rap for you about staying in school Hit it Shirley!"


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corrado33

And then ignore it for 10+ minutes.


AromaGamma

Then turn it off for about 20 minutes or so, so that most people are asleep by then. Turn it back on afterwards. Repeat that throughout the night, and repeat every few nights and you've already made serious bank.


Mission_Asparagus12

Go to quiet, kid free areas with my 3 energetic, young children after a night of bad sleep and sugar


OPconfused

A fine dining restaurant, movie theater, or an international flight. Those are the places where non-stop loud kids would net you $1000 off of me if I were in your vicinity.


Token_Shadow

I work in IT. I’m already set.


foxbones

Stop responding to any emails, phone calls, or in person requests. Make everything a ticket, even if someone is just saying Hello or asking what you want for lunch.


newstuffsucks

Drive real slow on a one lane highway.


VanderlyleNovember

Become the host of a popular talk show. You thought Corden was bad? Just wait.


thedooze

I don’t think you can become the host of a popular talk show that fast… unless I’ve missed something lol


glassfeathers

Film something cool in portrait and then flip it periodically to landscape. For the bonus have shaky hands.


Murky-Fun2592

Hello, I am calling about your car’s extended warranty…


Chance_Philosophy_48

Become the White House Press Secretary.


Optimal-Pen149

As a black man, fall and scream like a drama queen at a bbq.


JimmyJangles22

Sounds like a Tyler perry movie scene


weagle11

Honest question: what's the cliche here because I'm white and if I saw a grown man pitch a fit in any group gathering I'd be annoyed?


ScamboOfDoom

Get one of those NFT avatars evidently.


bushpotatoe

Shoot out power line transformers.


nonotevenclose

*grabs vuvulzela*


mindlessfuxk

Baaaaaaaby shark Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo 🎶


Zedboy19752019

Thanks. I now hate you. lol


hitherehuman13

+$1000


palesilver

Jamie Tart doo doo


TgagHammerstrike

Ask a local radio station to play this. Bribe them with 200 bucks.


MatrixVirus

Hahahahahaja Shoot me


steelerfaye

My kid's new fave is 'My name is Chicky. Chicky chicky chicky'. Idek anymore if Baby shark is that bad.


Not_Mr_Rogers23

Tell a massive group that you just lost the game


silver1q2w3e

And I'll be honest I've almost completely forgotten the game. But then people like you just have to show up.


Not_Mr_Rogers23

Glad to be of service


Luigi_deathglare

Damn. I was doing so well. Why!!


TheHatInTheFat

I want you to know that's a shitty way to play the game and I 100% respect it


Witty217

I definitely haven't lost in years. This is weird and I feel old.


thred_pirate_roberts

I want to make a super bowl commercial that makes everybody lose the game


iLikeCatsOnPillows

Even the people who don't care that much anymore would just think "Oh God, this again."


SumpCrab

Damn dude, it's been years since I lost the game.


ceelion92

Stage a fake Karen style video featuring myself as the Karen, and send it to news outlets.


ceelion92

Alternatively, go to Tokyo and stand in the train doors at rush hour, refusing to move aside at every stop. If we consider that I will block 10 people coming in, and 10 coming out, or 20 people every say... 3 minutes, it adds up to $400,000 per rush hour. I then do this for 4 days, so I accumulate 1.6 million dollars. At this point I hire thirty-two thousand people to come to a venue promising a famous headliner who never shows up, and only pay them $50 each, which insures that their patience will be low, but that they will still appear. At this point I perform a very long, terrible and offensive stand up act, and play the violin poorly into a feedbacking microphone. If I annoy only 60% of these people, which is a low bet, I will have $19,200,000 within the first 5-7 days. At this point I purchase a prime-time US television advertising spot using my money, and I hire creatives to make the most grating advertisement possible, featuring myself. If I only reach 5 million people, and only 20% are annoyed, I will far surpass the billion dollars within 2 weeks at the maximum.


Huge-Buddy655

Crash my car into a bus during rush hour on the highway in Seattle. Not only will it annoy 1000 people within 10 minutes, but the news will report it and people not even driving will get annoyed (probably become a billionaire within an hour).


TacTurtle

Drop random traffic cones all over the highway juuuuuust before rush hour on a Friday afternoon


Monsieur_Bananabread

It's pronounced "JIF"


Amaria77

I pronounce it "gjif" just so I can be wrong no matter which side you're on.


VoteMe4Dictator

It's clearly pronounced *zhif*. Like the g in beige.


inksta12

“You wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world…?”


stabbytastical

Post something wrong on the internet and double down on my correctness


caradenopal

ONE EIGHT HUNDRED KARS FOR KIDS


greybruce1980

Plaster flags and pro Trump bumper stickers all over a polluting old diesel and "roll coal" every chance you get.


shallow_not_pedantic

Where I live, you’d get thumbs up and low-ball purchase offers