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single word replies to everything with no effort to make conversation. if you weren't interested, why tf did you match.


A profile that's just a list of demands. "Don't be this, don't do this, spend money on me, do this, do that, etc."


Those are annoying. This ain't build a bitch Edit: Thanks for the upvotes and awards


Same. I want to learn about you. I'm supposed to be seeing if I'm interested in you by reading this thing. That said, I'm expected to make my profile about me so you can decide if you're interested in me. Anyone who has a list of rules about me pisses me off. One because it's obvious you're crazy demanding. Two, it signals you have no personality of your own to talk about. Three, you can't follow simple instructions! *It's ok to include some stuff about what you look for in a partner but "demands" a no-go.


Talk too much about who they want and not enough about who they are


This is such a massive thing. If they can't tell you what they are into right now, it's usually because they are floundering, have no real personality and no idea how the world works. Once you get into a relationship they'll also want you to do all the work to get them what they want, because you are the type of person who just gets on with stuff while they just sit there wanting with no actual idea on how to get it. You'll spend years doing stuff to get them what they want, putting your own wants and needs aside trying to fill this hole that for them that is really a void. No matter how much you do for them, or how much you get for them, it's never enough. They've now used you and you've wasted years of your life trying to make someone happy who is just not capable of happiness. They wanted a fairy tale, when you provided them with it, they decided they wanted something else all along. The thing they always wanted from the first was to be as capable as you. Your continued existence in their life reminds them that they can never be that and resentment sinks in. Then when you stop trying for their sake, do your own thing and ask them to carry their load on all this shit that they wanted, they decide that you are a burden, somehow. ^(yes I am being oddly specific.)


>Your continued existence in their life reminds them that they can never be that and resentment sinks in. Dude.. My wife always gets extra mean if anything happens that's slightly positive for me. More like evil flat mate the last few years but I digress. But this dynamic is very tiresome


Hang in there! You’ll eventually make the right move for yourself and hopefully will find happiness.


This is some Master Oogway level of wisdom


"Don't be boring"


Basically saying "got noting interesting to offer so I will need you to be the interesting one and do the heavy lifting in this relationship".


That is fantastic, I have never thought of it that way!


"Only boring people get bored" Something I learned a while ago when on the receiving end of "you're boring" and I took stock of all the stuff that person did to entertain me and it was zero I've always been able to entertain myself and others and it was a real eye opener that its just projection when you get accused of being boring because they see your role as their court jester Now anyone that talks about being with someone that is boring makes me side eye what they bring to keep things fun and it's often just "me" Pass


Actually used to say this when I was trying to date, and you’re 1,000,000% right. I was hella depressed and didn’t know who I was and I just wanted the guy to do all the work, have all the jokes for the both of us, steer the convo forward, be interesting, etc. Really glad I got outta that and actually have things I love doing now.


That is an extremely refreshing amount of self awareness.


Most ironic, un-self aware statement ever




"In full possession of two arms and legs, also a head. I like to breathe a lot and sleep approximately once a day." I'm SORRY we can't all be Jason Momoa over here!


TIL Jason Momoa has two arms and legs, a head, breathes a lot and sleeps approximately once a day.


"I'm not your average girl/guy" *proceeds to list many average girl/guy interests and average hobbies*


“I like magnets and ghouls.”


Dislikes: Peoples Knees


they do look a little weird the longer you stare at them


People who behave like they're too good for you. Instant no.


“I take forever to reply,” “I’m a bad texter,” “I don’t message first.”


"buy me dinner", "buy me shots", "I can probably outdrink you", "will probably like your dog more than you"


For sure. Don’t be an ATM haha


I'll give her ATM


Take me on a trip or take me to a football game? girl I’m not spending $325 on you when My best friend likes football and he has a butthole too


Wait, I like football and I have a butthole… Did we just become best friends?


“I’m actually 20, idk why it says 24 lol” Or something to that effect.


Yea that’s odd


It usually means they made the profile when they were underage.


I have a fake date of birth on my Facebook account... Like most of the information on there... So when I signed up to Tinder it used that age and I have not been able to change it. I deleted my profile because I found tinder to be a complete waste of time and have had more luck in bars with randoms despite my looks and personality being a handicap.


>bars with randoms despite my looks and personality being a handicap. To be fair in a bar they can actually meet you; and besides your personality/looks may be better than you think! On a dating app or hookup app like Tinder basically everything is just instantly based off of your photos which not everyone is great at taking.


I’ve met/dated numerous women that just got more attractive the more I learned about them. Also been on dates with really attractive women that turned unattractive the more I learned.


Lol it says 24 cause you’ve had tinder since you were 16 and lied about your age


More likely facebook when they were 12.


"If you can't handle me at my worst....." *swipe left*


They have no best, let's be real here


They have a best, it's just most peoples' worst.


What they really mean is, "I'm always at my worst, so don't expect me to get better".


"I'm always at my worst because I won't grow up."


“I can’t date you if you are an aquarium 🙅‍♀️♒️💖”


It's okay, I'm a Feces!


Mercury is in Gatorade


Cancer is in Uranus


AIDS is in Urpenis


I have cancer


And I'm a virgin


I’m a Liberian:)


I'm a librarian.


My names Leo


My sign is No Trespassing.


"If I get angry it's okay, bc I'm a caprisun"


Well we arent compatible then because im asparagus


What a typical Germany


Yuck, you sound like a Leopard.


What a Tortoise thing to say


How very Fargo of you


You know what they say. There's plenty of fish in the aquarium.


Not *my* aquarium... Should probably put some water in next time, too.


Works at: “Nonya business” and/or “Dunder Mifflin”. So overplayed.


Education: “School of hard knocks”


Ah, the over 50s on Facebook favourite


As an over 50, I’m done with it too :)


Education: "School of life"


Apparently it's even worse where I live. As in, they just put "job".


Calling themselves an “alpha”.


I'd swipe left faster than you can say no


You know you’re a true alpha when you have to announce it to the world.


Any man who must say *I am the king* is no true king.


Except king arthur explaining to peasants who he is…


Well I didn't vote for him.


A blank profile that doesn't say anything about them. Like an IG or snapchat handle...that's it. And then you go to their IG and it's private and their bio is something like "Not here often follow me on snapchat" and you go to their snapchat and it's like "Not here often. Subscribe to my only fans" then you go to their onlyfans and....it goes on and on and on..


On their onlyfans: "Not here often. Find me on LinkedIn"


Those serial killer pics. You know, when you’re sitting and staring down at the camera and for some reason you’re sitting in the car or a basement, not smiling and you took like five pics in a row and uploaded all of them.


Haha my cousin showed me his dating profile and I told him to add a few pictures of him smiling so he doesn't come across as a weirdo


I hate forced smiles (on myself) in pictures. I refuse to do it. I am however perfectly comfortable with how a genuine smile looks on me, so if I did a dating app I'd use a candid photo of something I was enjoying.


When one of our friends got set up on a dating app he asked us to do a photo shoot with him. It was mostly goofing off and we got some good pictures. It was great.


Now I'm inspired to create a profile that's 100% serial killer vibes. Have pics with like a roll of ductape just sitting on the bed behind me. Another with a door in background with a padlock on it. That sort of thing.


Why do you have a chainsaw in the bedroom?


School of hard knocks.


“Make me laugh.”


Translation: “Dance monkey, dance!”


Those were literally the words that came to my mind just before reading you comment, causing me to audibly laugh. Thank you for being on top of things!


And the, "Entertain me."


People who brag about paying their own bills like it isn’t already something you’re supposed to be doing.


That reminded me of the chris rock joke "I take care of *my* kids!"


I ain't NEVER been to jail!


Whatca want a cookie?


So this “I’m independent and have my own car” okay Brad, we are in our 30s, that’s not the biggest brag.


That don't impress us much.


“Aspiring milf” I swear every time I swipe I see at least five of these, come up with some original to put in a bio at least like damn


Where might I find these MILFs?


On sites that say they let u watch free movies but need ur bank card info for some reason


Last i heard, they're single and in your area.


Starting to realize that’s a thing lol


Does that mean she’s aspiring to be the “M” in milf or the “ILF” in milf?


"Im barely on here so hmu on instagram" sorry Nancy not happening.


Those are just Onlyfans bots my dude.


Condescension. Focus on what they don’t want/like instead of what they do. Lack of effort in writing their bio. Zoomed in pictures of abs.


Seeing my wife's profile....


do both of you happen to like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain too?


If you’re not into yoga…


if you have half a brain


If you like making love at midnight


*sees wife's profile* *swipes left*


Literally did this after my marriage broke up


Damn :/


Lmao but they’re on tinder along with their wife


Yeah, this is a /r/HolUp


Middle finger selfie.


Oh my god these are the worst. We get it Jennifer and Brian you are SoOo rebels


Thinking smoking weed is a personality trait


Same applies to alcohol. If 80% of your "best" pictures involve a glass of wine or a bottle of beer, that tells me enough about you to swipe left.


You’d hate the UK


Too hot, probably a bot


Ooh, so that's why I get so few matches 💅


I 100% agree lol


I’m in a happy relationship currently, but any use of the language “high/low value male/female”


This and the alpha beta talk for guys. My god sometimes I forget what year it is.




God damn, do people actually still do that??


Dude here. Before I met my current girlfriend Tinder and Bumble were full of "must be 3 inches taller than me so I can wear heels" or beard requirements. I'm 5'7" and I've had my goatee/beard since the day I graduated high school (nasty scar on my upper lip...but I also always wanted one). My current girlfriend is 5'8" and I bought her 3" heels at her request for our first Christmas. Short Kings give zero fucks about this stuff. So I imagine it's probably the same for the other side.


"So I *can* wear heels" ugggh, nothing is stopping her!? I wear 3-6" heels all the time as a 6' woman, sure my partner is significantly shorter than me (5'7") and the heels make it way more apparent, but he says "it just makes [him] feel like [he's] dating a supermodel. Is that not the goal?"


Here are a few instant No's for me: *nothing in their bio (how can I break the ice of there is nothing there for me to go off of?) *looking for a third, poly, etc. *where there are absolutely no pictures of the person or they are all in sunglasses or hoods, back turned, etc. *where the bio is a place used for ranting and is negative


[stockpic of a non descript button up shirt] [stockpic of handcuffs] [stockpic of heels] [stockpic of plump red lips and/ or six pack] Bio: We’re a couple who want to experiment. want to FUCK us???


If any statement includes "if you can't handle", nah, I'm out. Because if she can't handle me at my most selective, then she doesn't deserve me at my most openminded. Also, demanding that you be original while her profile is exactly the same as 99% of other women's profiles, fuck that.


“If you can’t handle-“ you’re right, I can’t.


"if you can't handle-" We're at the window shopping stage of this app when reading profiles. I'm not looking for the discount stickered damaged goods right off the bat.


When they have so many filters and only close up shots from the chin up.


All my friends use SOOO many filters and I refuse to use any..and I throw full body shots on there that are super unflattering so you know exactly what I look like on a bad day lol I'm not trying to fool anyone, you either accept my fat ass on low effort days as well as when I feel like a 10 or you can keep swiping lol


Gotta love the “Wow, you’re so much prettier than your pictures!” moment. 😂 Thanks, I put on a well-fitting shirt today.


The fingers never lie.


"I'm here for a good time, not a long one" I don't take issue if you want to live your life like that, but if I have to hear the phrase again I'm gonna hide in a space shuttle and get off while I'm on the moon.


I always interpreted that as "looking for a night of drinking and hot sex". Maybe I misread them.


I had an ex that would just use the phrase whenever they planned to do stupid shit (especially with drugs/alcohol). So I'm starting to think I've been reading most of them wrong, because that makes a lot more sense within the context of dating apps


When they start listing what they don't want, stuff like "don't talk to me if you're under 6'0" tall"


I've seen that a couple of times before. Even though I'm over 6 foot I don't bother with them. I could do without that kind of arrogance in my life. I get that for some people it is a deal breaker even though it doesn't really matter (I have a few dealbreakers like that myself that I wish I didnt have) but to put it in such a way just shows you're a bit of a twat.


- Having bios like: "You write first", "The gym is my second home", "We'll see what happens" (No shit!? 🤦🏻‍♀️) , "Good vibes only", "Always happy" - When their bio says that they're not looking for anything serious - When they don't have any picture at all of themselves - The ones who posts flex pictures 💪🏻 - Only group pictures - Only drunk pictures - Insta or snap name on the bio - When gym is their whole personality - Polyamorism - Alpha males - When they take forever to reply


Maybe it's my personal experience, but whenever I matched with "be original and write me first" men, they either didn't reply or unmatched me immediately.


Social smoker. That’s always a lie. They are a smoker but are gonna try to hide it.


People who take photos of themselves pretending to be asleep. So cringe.


That's a thing?


As someone with mental illness... Anyone who make it their only personality trait on their profile. Don't get me wrong I think it's fine to be transparent and open on your profile about it... But don't make it the only thing on your profile. It tells me you're one of those people who makes their whole life about one aspect of you and that's probably all you'll talk about, or you'll at least somehow relate everything back to that.


Photos in clubs, drugs in bio, corny bio “be the Jim to my Pam”


\> Be the Jim to my Pam \> Looking for a partner in crime


Fluent in sarcasm and anytime they consider themselves a bitch like they are proud of it


"Make me laugh" (and nothing else). I am not your ~~monkey~~ anything.


"Just seeing what's out there." You want to borrow my binoculars? They'll probably help you look around better.


Astrology. Saying "I'm a bad person/I'll ruin your life". Polyamory (just not for me) Conspiracy theories.


"im toxic 🤪" youre a waste of oxygen thats what you are


When I (24F) was on the apps before meeting my current bf, I would swipe left automatically for the following reasons: -shirtless pics, 9/10 clothed pics look more genuine and overall attractive IMO -any office quote, it’s so overused and corny -“let’s hang and see where things go”, I know exactly where things will go, it’ll be going towards a swipe to the left


“Looking for the Jim to my Pam.” The Office is a tv show, not a personality.


When I was on dating apps, number one thing that made me pass was kids. Respect to anyone who's making it work, I am friends with single parents and it's fucking rough. But I do not like kids and even if I did I am not at a point in my life where I can be a parental figure.


That's just good self awareness though


Anything sexual in the bio


What up? We're three cool guys looking for other cool guys who wanna hang out in our party mansion. Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged. If you're fat, you should be able to find humor in the little things. Again, nothing sexual.


Y'know, that sort of invitation would look sick on a picture of a very veiny and muscular arm. Just a thought.


Dating apps


I tried dating apps and hated them. It felt so inauthentic the whole time.


I met my husband on tinder. My one rule was no bio was an instant nope!


Can I ask you a legitimate question? I hear so many people say that "Tinder is only for hookups" or "You don't find love on Tinder". If a person is more introverted and doesn't go out much, how possible is it to find something real and serious on Tinder?


Not OP but serious stuff is possible. I know many people who met their partners via Tinder, I myself had a previous relationship that started that way. A lot of people put their intentions in their bio (like casual/hookup/relationship or whatever), you just have to be upfront about what you want and hope that the people you match with will do the same.


I’m surprised I haven’t seen this one, but “Only here for just friends” …that’s what Bumble BFF is for. Did you forget the main intention of Tinder?


Not enough information for me to make a decent first message. I'm willing to climb that ladder, but you need to extend it to me.


Height requirements kind of bum me out... I'm 6'2", likely to be taller than any woman I match with, it's just... I don't see myself getting along with anyone who would make that such a set-in-stone priority that it's in their profile. Naming country music as one of their interests is also a bit of a gray flag. Not a knock on the genre or its fans, it's just usually an indicator that we're not speaking the same language.


I'm 6'3. I once saw a profile of a girl that claimed to be 4'9 and demanded 6'+. I ain't dating demanding dwarfs.


I'm 6'2 and I practically always deny profiles with 6'0+ height requirements. I completely understand and respect if you have standards, but that's shallow and literally nobody has control over their height. It's such a turn off to me.


I find height requirements to be on the same level of tacky and offensive as saying “Must be at least 32DD”.


Some notable hard passes for me: -here for a good time, not a long time -no drama -your mom will like me more than you -are there any nice girls left out there??! -fluent in sarcasm -here to meet my future ex wife -looking for someone to match my energy -here to break your bed frame, not your heart OR here to wreck your lipstick, not your mascara -anything about tacos




When a dog can't get to food in a weird spot it will spend an hour chewing the hole bigger. Our ancestors said "fuck that, I'll just hit it with a rock" Laziness is fundamental to humanity's success.


Weird anime pictures or memes instead of a normal Picture of them


Depends for me, if it’s like 4 pictures and one of those are a meme that’s ok


any mention of "crypto"


But i need a doubles partner in apex and his drone is pretty useful.


Matching with someone and them showing interest in me. I don’t need someone with low standards.


Thanks for matching with me but i can tell you make terrible decisions


Yo same. Instant red flag if they swipe right on me 😂😂


There are some profiles where people are obviously angry at their lack of success in finding a hook-up or relationship or whatever. Stuff like “I doubt anyone here is even real.” Or “I hate profile questions, just message me.” Or “I’m not interested in going 20 rounds in chat. Message me if you want a real man and a real date.” The lack of effort tells me that you and I would not be compatible.


Ironically, men with "I’m not interested in going 20 rounds in chat" always proceeded with endless boring chats and never ask you out on a date. It's almost comical, when they tell you how they spent the whole weekend at home playing videogames or how they go home after work because there's no one to go to the bar with.


Confederate flag in your picture


Fine I’ll just carry a fish around instead


High standards, and they don't even meet a standard(for those who don't understand. Those people who ask for alot, but are just ugly inside and out)


Over 45 and "not sure" if they want kids, "maybe later". The time to make up your mind has past.


- Only having meaningless, solo selfies for their pictures - These or any variation of the following: “I live in the gym; I’m a gym rat; after work you can catch me in the gym” etc. - “Please have this...” or “be this type...” - “Princess treatment only” (lmao) - No bio or just their social media in it - Having a list of expectations - “We’ll get along if you can keep me entertained”. (It’s really the word “entertained” as if people are just for temporary amusement) All immediate no’s


Solo selfies? Are you trying to date their friend or something?


Not sure about the solo selfies one. I'd rather have solo shots than her with a bunch of other guys. Or the occasional ex that's still in the photo. I wanna see the person, not her "crew".


Whenever I try dating apps, I usually only have solo selfies, I just don't take many pictures doing things, when I go out I either take pictures of the stuff itself, or just put the phone down and enjoy, so I only really have selfies I took in the bathroom after getting ready. Just dont think to take pictures with other things and people, like not really sure what I'd do with those pictures I guess.


Ugh, I feel you. Every time I think about maybe setting up an online profile the thing that trips me up is "where the hell do I find pictures of myself?". I just... don't really take any. I've got a bunch of photos of cats I see around the neighbourhood that I send to friends and that's about it. Going out is a rare event these days and when it happens nobody's taking any photos. I don't remember ever really revisiting pictures on the off chance I got one. I never thought I'd actually *need* them for something either. So... it'll have to be bathroom mirror selfies


"Find out ;)" I don't know if it's common everywhere, but it is in my region. Sir, if I wanted to find anything out, I'd hire a private detective. And you're not worth the money.


Any references to "drama." In my experience, the people who say stuff like that are usually the center of a TON of drama.


A list of things they "need", based on what they feel is correct or incorrect.


"future milf" / "can probably outsmoke/drink you" / "5'6 cause it matters" / "let me meet your dog" / "hmu with your best pickup line" / "I made this as a joke" Just be creative, for fuck's sake. People who use these tired lines are basically signaling that all they have going for them is their looks. One more thing: if you're almost exclusively posting yourself in a bikini, I'm not interested. Not because I'm a prude or anything, but some girls' profiles look like an 1800's slave auction with the way they advertise themselves. It makes me feel like a pervert. It signals to me that they pride themselves on their looks instead of their character. Men aren't as shallow as people think they are. A lot of us can see through that shit. I'm interested to see what women experience on the other end of Tinder. It's probably much, much worse.


When I was on Tinder (this is 5 or so years back) I had a girl tell me she swiped on my profile because she liked the look of me and I didn't have a shirtless pic/ pic of me holding a fish.


I had no idea other guys posted fish photos so much.




Listing religion as a requirement. That is, not if it lists "Religion: Christian" or something, but when they say something like "Must be interested in improving his relationship with Jesus".