By - enchantingfurnace
I’m not even sure where I fall anymore. I’m pro second amendment, I believe my body my rules (which extends to everything, including drugs. I’ve never done any but I don’t give a hoot if people do), I dont care who marries who, I don’t want the government in my private life, I think taxes going overseas before taking care of home issues is a joke, I think we’re taxed too much, term limits should be in place, companies shouldn’t be allowed to “donate” to politicians, I’m trying to think of other “hot button” issues right now, but basically my point on most things is just ‘leave me alone’
The biggest take away from this post and the comments here in.
There’s really not that big of a gap between “conservatives” and “liberals”. We all have much more in common than the media would like us to know. If the people of this country could ever get together as a united front we could probably make some really impactful change.
We should all be working together for things like term limits, more government for the people, and less government for itself.
Transgender women should have a separate category in sports from cisgender women.
I understand not wanting to pay taxes to a government that spends the money poorly and in a way that doesn't represent the majority's interest.
Taxation without representation!?!? Preposterous!! No self respecting populace would tolerate such fuckery.
Joe Biden is starting to show his age, and he should absolutely not run again.
Honestly he showed his age in 2020.
I’m just worried if Trump actually runs in 2024, he has a lot of ammo to use Biden as a scapegoat for (inflation/gas, interest rates, war, stock market). Many people will gobble it up
Yeah, it would just be a repeat of what they did to him by blaming Covid on him and the country would get nowhere. We need someone under the age of 60.
Most of us plan to, or ideally will retire at the age of 65 years old. Nobody is necessarily forcing us to but that’s just pretty standard. Why don’t these old farts retire at 65? Age and term limits definitely make sense. This is not Ageism either, it’s common sense and the cultural norm here. There are still representatives in their fucking 80s….Mr. Leahy is 82 god damn years old and recovering from hip surgery after falling at home….that is big retired grandpa vibes.
Cognitive abilities aside, someone who is 80 years old is 2 or 3 generations removed from what the world is right now. They're still acting like everything should be as it was when they were in their 20s.
The government is run by the same people that will tell you "just go apply in person and shake the managers hand and he'll hire you on the spot".
When you're eligible for Medicare, it's time for you to bow out of politickin'
Seriously. I'm not trying to be ageist or whatever but none of these people has any idea what people and especially young adults live like. They have no business setting the rules. The culture and realities are alien to them.
I don't think I'll ever retire. They keep changing the age, so as I get closer to it, the goalposts move
Dianne Feinstein is 89 lol
Identity politics is a net negative
Leftist here. Im married to a man who is a second generation American from the Philippines. One time in a college class, a desk mate and I were talking about foods and I mentioned I was learning how to make Filipino food and mentioned a particular dish (lumpia) was like really, really good. One (white) girl mentioned to me that I was “appropriating” their culture by making a dish because I’m also white.
I guess my point is, people are so quick to call cultural appropriation on things before either finding out all information, or white people are trying too hard to be social justice warriors that they’re confusing appreciation with appropriation.
Edit: I just wanted to correct myself and let everybody know that I understand that this isn’t exactly a “conservative belief”, but I really don’t have many conservative beliefs to go off of
Edit 2: THANK YOU FOR THE AWARDS 🥰
Edit 3: just watched a bot read my comment on TikTok. Life is weird.
That girl is an idiot.
I was taught by a Korean woman how to make several of her traditional family dishes and she was happy to teach them to me (I am not Korean). I also have a few Indian women come into my store in beautiful sarees and they gave me the business card of the clothing shop and even recommended colors for my skin tone (I am not Indian either).
I imagine that most people appreciate when someone of another culture enjoys and respects their culture.
I'm a Filipino living in the Philippines. I can't tell you enough how heartwarming it is for us Pinoys to see a foreigner cooking our food. You'd instantly be special to our eyes.
This is so sweet! My husband has had so much fun learning about his culture in adulthood!
So dumb. I bet she wouldn't say a Filipino eating turkey on Thanksgiving of cultural appropriation.
In Korea people are thrilled their food has global appeal. The government, and a number of companies and organizations, has worked really hard to popularize Korean stuff to non-Koreans. It's among Americans where you get an absurd level of gatekeeping, usually by people who aren't even in the in-group in the first place.
How tf can America be a melting pot if white people aren’t allowed to adopt aspects of other cultures? That’s literally saying that minorities can adopt mainstream culture, but mainstream culture isn’t allowed to change
This right here is probably my biggest gripe about a lot of loud liberals. Cultural appropriation used to be called multiculturalism, and it was a good thing!
The issue is that the loudest ones don't understand nuance. There's a difference between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation. There's also a HUGE difference between cultural appropriation and learning to cook foods from your partner's country.
Of course if you only listen to the loudest voices you're going to hear garbage. They're a minority and I think most people (including you and I) understand that.
As a representative of the Italian-American community, I hereby give everyone permission to make, eat and enjoy our food unrestricted and in perpetuity.
Just everyone agree not to tell the Italian-Italians what we did to it
Omg don't break the spaghetti in half.
our tax money is being severely wasted.
There's a bit too much beurocracy in most government organizations and a lot of money is wasted.
Not only that, but there are too many damn vowels in bureaucracy
And I left my my bureaucracy book behind my brown bureau.
Totally agree. But after 25 years spent consulting to large organizations (government, business, and NGO), I would humbly suggest that the *size* of the org correlates to bureaucracy more than public/private nature.
At least with public spending, the govt doesn't take a profit, and the public is (almost always) entitled to see where the money went. Try asking Wells Fargo that kind of question.
I worked for a huge publicly traded corporation and my entire department was exactly like the stereotypical bureaucratic dead weight in the government that serves no purpose and does nothing except preserve their own jobs through some bullshit reasoning.
We were all made redundant in a merger years before I even joined, but through a series of manipulations of certain metrics we basically got paid to do nothing. And it was stupidly easy to get away with it because we could hide in plain sight at such a huge organization where people really aren't too sure of the hierarchy, or the rapidly changing policies and procedures...
same. i worked for a company and we were a new department, but there was a major change at the top and they started cleaning house, but kinda forgot about us. at one point i realized that i had nothing to do so i went and talked to the head of the whole department, not just my immediate boss, and told him i'm not doing anything. he said there was nothing for us to do, just look busy. i started making up project ideas and told people i was going offsite to do research and would go sit in a coffeeshop. eventually i got sick of it and i tried to get fired, but couldn't. then i resigned and they offered me more money. i turned them down but negotiated a remote position at the same rate of pay and left the state. i then resold them the same work i did while i was in house. it was absurd. oddly enough, that company barely exists today.
“Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.”
It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.
Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.”
Well I work for the government and after 8 hours a day of constant, and I mean constant work I usually have to bring an hour or two of work home with me as well.
I work most weekends, and constantly have to manage the personalities of dozens, sometimes hundreds of people whhen I've got actual shit I should be doing.
I also get paid fuck all. But I'm rarely if ever looking for things to do. I am however often taking a breather when I've got a million things to do though.
I'm not even sure if I'm mad, jealous, proud, or astonished. That whole post was just a roller-coaster or emotions.
Same. Someone posted a similar comment elsewhere once where some restructuring happened and they were completely forgotten about. They tried to ask for more work, etc. Eventually they just stopped going in most days, started using the time biking and exercising and just living life for a few years, with no one ever noticing, before they quit. Just wild.
[G](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/man-skipped-work-for-6-years_n_56c1d32ae4b0b40245c72512#:~:text=For%20six%20years%2C%20a%20building,20%20years%20of%20loyal%20service)uy didn't show up for work for 6 years, got paid, no one noticed.
That happened to a guy I know. His job was such '15 minutes of real work per week' he actually asked for 'remote work from home' but moved to South Korea without telling anyone. get up at like 3 or 4 in the morning to take a Zoom meeting. He was in Korea for over a year and no one found out.
The American dream right here
>through a series of manipulations of certain metrics we basically got paid to do nothing
During college I knew a few people who were working for a temp agency for the summer and they were placed at a large private health insurance company in a group of about 40 people for most of that time. While there they had almost nothing to do, maybe 5 hours of actual work a week, but even that was busywork that someone came up with just to keep their full time direct reports from a bit of drudgery. Mostly they just hung out drinking coffee and chatting, so it was like being paid to hang out in a shitty cafe.
They found out that the reason they were hired was to use up money that had been allocated to the division in the budget because if it wasn't used they would lose it for the next year.
But yeah, privatization is the answer and government is the problem in all cases. /s
I worked for a government regulator first 5 yrs out of college and people put in a solid 8 hrs plus had to do research and misc duties outside of work constantly. Nobody made personal call during work (pre cell). No bureaucracy. Left and went to a bank finance position and my 3 mgrs literally sat in an office 8 hrs and bullshit with each other all day long. They never worked. First month in somebody threw a chair at a coworker and it was ignored. Mgrs were on a hiring spree to get job titles. There was little work to do other than a few weeks out of the year. Got out of there so fast and took a grade decrease to get away from the boring ass job.
Having been part of a few startups, I can vouch for the fact that even small companies can be acutely proficient at wasting millions of dollars.
My thoughts as well.
People are far too sensitive and actively look for things to be offended about.
Fr my friend was offended cause I said someone was black... Someone was infact black but she said that I should say "dark-skinned" and like why tho?
Was your friend white? In my experience, white people love to get offended on behalf of POC…it’s really weird.
White people are the most offended on behalf of all minorities.
I (Asian man) was with a group of friends and friends of friends having a few drinks and just taking about whatever. One of my other Asian buddy made a joke about being Asian and basically making fun of himself and his family. A friend of the friend who's white stood up and was like " that is racist and super offensive."
When an Asian guy is making fun of himself about being Asian, it's all good!!! Chill.
Don't get me started on the "Latinx" people. Never met one who was a native Spanish speaker, but I know plenty of Spanish speakers who loathe the term.
Every Latino I've ever talked to about it thinks it's fucking stupid, actually.
The art of self deprecating humour is dying a slow and painful death.
My eldest son is a 6ft Ginger with a massive beard married into a Filipino family. The abuse he gets is hilarious. As his Dad I fully support it. If you can't have a laugh in this shit world what else can you do? Saying that they are much harder on the Indian uncle then him.
I make white people jokes all the time and I'm pasty as fuck lmao. Any joke about your own skin color and/or culture is fair game
Calling us dark skinned just sounds terrible. Please don't.
Black is fine, we're black. African American is acceptable but not really accurate unless that individual is from Africa, directly, which could refer to any skin color still.
I call my white friends white, hopefully that's not offense *eyeroll*.
My black friends don't like being called "African American".. and said "people of color" makes them uncomfortable because it reminds them of the racist era of "colored people".
I bet your friend isn’t black
Noope, she is white as a person can be
Let her know black people call each other black , politicians call black people black, teachers call black people black, and black people call white people white.
Happens all the time here on Reddit. I’ll reply to someone with a somewhat lengthy comment and if I say one word or sentence that bothers them, that’s all they’ll comment on. They’ll literally ignore everything else I said simply so they can have a ‘gotcha’ comment
Virtually no one on reddit is capable of arguing in good faith. Everyone is just looking to win. It doesn't matter who's right.
I recently used the phrase "He committed suicide." A woman chastised me and said I should use the phrase "suffered death by suicide" instead. My response was that phrase implies that some outside force was responsible for the person's death when, actually, he/she did, in fact, committed the act. She went all Karen on me.....
'Suffered death by suicide' sounds like a way to describe 'two gunshots to the back of the head in a locked room with his hands restrained' suicides.
It's probably what's on Epstein's death certificate.
The government is too restrictive about what you can build on your own property.
The homeowners association is a bitch. I have literally never heard of them doing something good it's just a tool to fuck over your neighbors.
My street is a dead end. The last 2 miles of it are controlled by an HOA. They voted AGAINST allowing fiber internet to be hooked up to all the homes because they didn't want the 3 weeks of digging, oh the temporary horror! Homes just 200 yards from me are using Verizon hotspots and satellite internet while I have gigabit. We're a rural community with fairly large homes and plots of land. I don't get it, fiber would increase property value over night.
The town in New York where I lived for 13 years has one option for internet and people love to complain about how expensive and unreliable it is. Cell coverage also sucks and they complain about that, too. The same people who complain about those things are the same ones who bitched and petitioned the town board every time a new cell tower, fiber, and "cancer-causing 5G" was proposed.
NY is a huge state, so I doubt we're from the same part of it, but word for word, you just described the first two+ decades of my life. The only difference between your story & mine is the number 13.
Also in upstate NY. When a local fiber company said they would have to dig through MY yard specifically to get their fiber cable to a utility pole in MY backyard, I was ...
Hello, fellow Upstater. Remember that time Spectrum almost got kicked out of the state completely? 😆
Ya. Now they're being kicked out one neighborhood at a time. When I called Spectrum to cancel, they were like, Oh I'm so sorry what's going on? I'm like, I don't want to chit-chat, just cancel it. And then they start offering me deals as if I'd be interested in staying with a company that only sees fit to offer non-garbage service when there's competition? "We can give you the same speeds as your new service without raising your price!" Uh, then you should have. I hope they go bankrupt.
When they did my street, I saw the crews digging in the morning on my way to work and I couldn't see any trace when I got back home. Very fast and very neat.
yeah a good fiber team will only have to dig up at their bore pits and vaults.
so pretty much 1-2 hole per house by the houses and 1 hole every couple yards. after cleanup and seeding, should be back to normal in a couple weeks, depending on the climate.
Counter Anecdote, it took at&t 6 months of digging to get the fiber installed through our neighborhood. Power and other internet were cut multiple times, someone had a sewer line emptied into their basement, sidewalks were torn up and left in pieces for weeks, and the yards still have not recovered a year later.
well, att isnt exactly known for being good at anything. they exist solely because of their prior monopoly and lobbying.
i always recommend people use their municipal fiber if its available, even if the cost is higher because of higher standards in loss and customer care.
My neighbor used to pay me $25 a week to bring out his trash cans with mine. It beats the $100 he got fined for not doing it and the $75 per house waste disposal people the HOA hired. My favorite though is when they assessed all 113 houses in the division $1300 per house to fix the community pool and then never fixed it. If you didn't pay withing 60 days they placed a lien on your house. No one knew where the $200k actually went but if you questioned it you know the drill. Theyll find some fees to run you dry every month. There were 5 members of our HOA and that was the max. 3 of them were women in their 60s who had been friends for 30+ years and will always side together. Until one of them dies, that HOA will remain the same indefinitely. That's how most are.
I wonder if you can sue for them misappropriating funds they collected from you, since they explicitly told you thats what it was for
Seems like a good class action lawsuit.
I’m an attorney. My law degree has paid for itself in personal satisfaction just for my ability to launch full-scale legal attacks on any and every nonsensical and/or self-serving decision my HOA makes.
You're doing God's work. Keep going
You're basically Batman.
Damn, $25 a week for like 60 seconds of work? What a deal.
There were things you could’ve done. There’s an HOA hate subreddit. I can’t remember it’s name at the moment. They know how to do it.
HOA isn't the government, though. You buy a house in a community. BTW, I hate HOAs and will never move into an area where there is one. I'll be damned if someone tells me what I am doing at least superficially to my own home. I get that buildings may have 'regulations' in regards to how I change my home (shit that needs architects and all that), but to have my neighbors say 'you cant eat ass on your own lawn...' fuck that
I work in this field. And as I can say, you’re right. I can also say, people don’t think about what their neighbors want to build. Sure you may want to build that extra shed for storage, but your neighbor wants to build a 2 story, 3,000 sqft garage to house his car collection right up on your property line.
Some of these rules don’t make sense when it’s you, but extend the rules to your crazy neighbors and it’s to buffer them from you as well.
Do I agree with all the zoning laws out there? No. I think allowing for more diversity in housing options is a good thing. Now HOAs are a whole different matter. Little people who want to control their neighbors. HOAs can do some good but usually create crazy restrictions and become little power bubbles.
Latinx is a stupid word.
Latin is already gender neutral.
Edit: Latin as in Latin American, not as in Latin the language. I can't say what the term should be in Spanish because I'm not an hispanophone. In English, in my opinion, Latin makes sense. From Latin America: Latin person. It's a distinct grouping from Romance.
As a Latin person, I agree. Latinx is fucking stupid. Why does every gender neutral term just HAVE to have an X in it?
Edit: I feel like I should also clarify that I'm part of the LGBT community and I identify as a demigirl. I'm just expressing my opinion over a term and not over gender neutral people!
I've seen a study that said about 94-96% of Hispanic people hate the term Latinx. Forcing that on them is so damn dumb.
I think it's being overall rejected at least. It's gatekeeping, not trying to progress anything
I think this survey found that about 95% choose not to use it. Reasons were they don't know about the term or are "put off" by it. I don't even know how to pronounce it, la-teen-ex or Latin-ex? Either way, it has no pronunciation in Spanish.
As a Latino man, I hate it. I also don't like this word being imposed on us by woke white North Americans who don't like that our culture and language does not confirm to what they consider to be appropriate gender politics.
its like a "white savior complex" or like a "noblesse oblige" thing. i see it as casually racist to go tell someone else how they should speak
I can imagine it's the same people who tried to cancel Crayola Crayons for putting the Spanish word for the colour black on their crayon.
Yes, yes, yes!
And do not get me started on folx.
FOLKS IS ALREADY GENDER NEUTRAL WHY DO WE HAVE TO ADD AN “X”???????????
Because an X makes it X-TREME!
This msg brought to you by the marketing campaigns of the 1990s
Look! X-TREME DORITOS! YEAH!!!!
We say Doritxs now.
If you want an actual answer it’s to indicate that you’re consciously an ally or something like that. Still idiotic but that’s the idea.
But if I’m the host at Olive Garden and welcome guests with “Hey folx”, how are they going to know I meant folx and not folks?
As long as they know that when they are here, they are family.
So that's why I stopped going to Olive Garden. I hate my family. I thought it was because I learned the food was average at best.
Folks, but make it virtue signaling!
I wanna get you started on folx
I appreciate this.
Not only is it outsiders telling a group what they should call themselves (and I'm pretty sure Latino was already that, at least arguably), but it's phenomenally jarring.
Latin or Latiné works much better.
Holding past transgressions up to modern standards is fucking stupid and counterproductive. Or like “cancelling” someone who’s long dead… just let it go!
Everyone in the past was racist by today's standards, even our heroes. Churchill, Lincoln, Gahndi it's almost like they were flawed humans like everyone else alive today and should be considered as such rather than worshipped.
The left needs to realise that we, the people of 2022, will also be looked back on in 100 years as flawed people who are out of sync with whatever the standards are in 2122
Criminal immigrants who actively hurt others should be sent back to their home countries.
I don't think forging documents out of desperation should result in deportation, and similarly, small offences committed out of desperation like petty theft etc. shouldn't be punished by deportation.
But there are people who just don't respect our societal rules. There was a case here in Germany where a guy from Afghanistan threatened a couple in a park in the evening with a Machete and raped the woman while the man couldn't do anything but wait for it to be over for fear of him killing her with the Machete.
He was caught and put to trial. Zero regret. He was sentenced and afaik he is now a convict serving time in a German prison, costing my taxpayer money.
I say send him back to Afghanistan. I don't give a fucking shit how bad it is, I don't care if he's a political refugee who will get tortured and killed by the Taliban. He came here as a refugee, and people who come here and can't accept our most basic rules of interpersonal contact can go fuck off right back to where they came from, I don't care what happens to them there.
I'm all for refugees welcome, but I don't see why we can't just say "no assholes, though, we'll send them back".
Scrolled too long to find this.
Yes, and not to mention that it also hurts the reputation of other refugees who are good people.
Exactly. A few assholes are all over the news, but the myriads of immigrants who lead peaceful quiet lives are judged and treated with hostility because of the few assholes. So let's just get rid of the assholes.
Family structures and communities are really important
I was looking for this comment. I’m an atheist but there’s a lot of research about how religious communities have better social cohesion and greater rates of happiness/fulfillment. (ofc there is a flip side to this as these communities can also be exclusive to certain people, but it’s just interesting to me!)
Okay this is my belief on the matter but most of your religious communities are smaller towns, as the towns grow people seem to become less religious and more hostile to each other.
Been seeing it with my hometown, growing up it was small 1500 people, 16 years later it's 4000 pop, and all the local hangouts disappeared, churches leaving and most important there seems to be no place for kids to hangout besides a park. (They got rid of all the child friendly places) so most people here don't socialize as much as they use too. Heck we had town meals for everything back then now I haven't seen one in the last 10 years.
I’m a pretty liberal teacher in a pretty liberal state (but I’m a shop teacher, which shakes up some preconceptions sometimes). Anyway- I think schools are becoming too much of a substitute for good parents. My job is to teach your kid things, not manage their complete growth and development. I hate that I have to give up class time to teach kids “social/emotional learning” (SEL)- basically lessons on how not to be an ass. That’s your job, parents.
COVID made this worse too. I feel like we spend more time correcting behaviors than on academic instruction. It was likely the lockdown that worsened this but this has been a growing problem in the newer generations: Kids requiring constant attention and entertainment. They're used to adults attending to them and entertaining them to the extent that, unless they have a screen in front of them, they need constant attention. Like, I often have kids now trying to hand me *their trash* to throw it away. Because that's what Mom and/or Dad does. I get letting kids be kids but why am I having to teach a 10 year old to throw away trash.
I'm a school bus driver. I *wish* kids would hand me their trash to throw away instead of just dumping it in the back of the bus. They have to walk past the trash can up front to get out of the bus anyway, but they still just drop shit on the floor.
My brother was saying how at his kid's school, they're assigning them to do cleaning chores. He complains, "she's there to learn, not do chores." She is a good kid and all, but that's a good thing to teach kids regardless.
My students clean the room daily because they are the ones messing it up. Cleaning after yourself teaches responsibility and a sense of community. Both I have to foster in my classroom because it's a different dynamic than at home.
I taught English in Asia for a while. The elementary schools would have kids sweeping and mopping and raking. It was pretty awesome, actually.
I had a seven-year-old student whose Mom insisted I count how many bites of food she took at lunch and made sure she drank all her water. Oh, and if it wasn't too much trouble, could I make sure she was wiping thoroughly? Um, no. Immediately no. I have 29 students. I don't weigh their food trays before and after lunch...
Their grandmother and great grandmothers died and I gave the teachers a heads up in case they had a bad day they knew where it was coming from. I felt bad for even doing. Teachers have enough to deal with.
My nephew couldn't or wouldn't cut his own food at 10 years old. Like the fuck dawg, don't be so lazy.
There is a great list I came across for my child, it's called the oregon project for the blind. It's a list of skills blind and VI kids should aim to have by age 6, she's 9 and we still haven't mastered it all. But it makes you realise how many kids are missing out on incidental learning, like no one teaches you how to pare a pencil, you learn by just seeing others do it, but if you don't get that chance through vision or lack of exposure it actually has to be taught. Chopping skills, mixing/stirring, how to break an egg, how to flip an egg.
People are amazed mine can put peanut butter on their own toast they made (wooden tongs to take the toast out)
I’m 34. My parents were old and conservative when they adopted me. I didn’t realize the differences at the time, but my old, Catholic raised mother was very insistent on me learning to do the traditional ‘women’s work.’ I therefore clean, launder, and am a very competent cook.
I worked with a gal same age as me four years ago and…she doesn’t cook. Like, she can’t cook. I was agog, asking her if she could do this (boil pasta) or do that (bake brownies from a box mix) and I discovered that she literally does not and cannot cook ANYTHING. She grew up in a fairly normal household, has sisters, and was in the military for five years after high school. Best I can guess is that she was the youngest child and her mom and sisters always cooked for her, and she got institutional meals in the military.
She ate out every single meal. She was a power lifter and eventually got sponsored by a meal prep company so that supplemented her eating out, but she gave away at least half of the prepped meals to us in the office (to our delight) because she’d much rather have her Outback steak for lunch.
I guess some people just fall through various cracks on learning what I consider to be life skills.
My mother intentionally didn't teach me life skills (long, weird story) so when I eventually decided to break out and move far away, I had no idea how to do anything. Book appointments, cook, do laundry... all of it was a total mystery to me.
It was a steep learning curve but I think I'm a pretty competent adult. I generally manage the household (kids and dog) and, you know, I reckon I'm a pretty good cook. Have a nice garden, grow veggies. Occasionally make costumes for the kids.
Drives my mother up the wall.
In case you haven't heard it today, good job. That stuff is soo tough when you feel behind. No matter how much you fumble you get all the points for trying.
Covid made things worse, but mainly it exposed flaws that were already there. We couldn't hold students accountable during Covid, so online learning was horrible. The lack of accountability, however has been growing for thirty years. People have figured out that it is easier to pressure the school or school board than to do work or change your behavior. The social skills training that we do is useless, but well intentioned. But again, it is useless because we have no accountability. You want kids to learn to throw away trash, allow schools to enforce no littering rules.
Oh my goodness the constant attention. This summer I agreed to take one of my son’s classmates one day per week. He’s 9 and has a smartphone and a PlayStation but his mom won’t buy him a bike because it’s too expensive. He comes pretty early so he falls asleep on the couch until my kids wake up and *he needs his phone to fall asleep.* I try to not be too judgy because he’s an only child of a single mom so she can’t spend a lot of time with him but I’ve never seen a child like him that has to change activities every 10 minutes, hates being outside, and has to control every detail of play including giving my son a script to follow.
It’s made me realize that I’ve slowly taught my kids a lot over the years without realizing how much actually they’ve been absorbing. I finally told my son he can push back a little, like don’t be a selfish jerk but you don’t always have to do everything he says to do.
Edit: I’ve had some comments telling me it could be ADHD, ASD, or neurodivergent and it would make so much sense. He also does this incredibly weird puffing breathing thing and there are other little quirks I’ve noticed that I’ve just attributed to him not being very socialized.
Parents treat schools like daycares, but expect them to teach them time management, social skills, manners, sexual health, organization, responsibility…. If kids don’t hand things in on time it’s “the teachers fault” for not reminding them.
This may be a predictable consequence of the institutional view that minors will not (or ought not) have social life or recreation ***at all*** if it is not organized by the school.
People look at me like I'm insane when I say kids should be able to have independence reasonably early. If you aren't regularly interacting with other kids, or adults who aren't your parents reasonably young it will stunt your social development and we're increasingly see that in a generation educated on zoom classes that thinks of big social events as increasingly theoretical.
My 8 year old can cook a few things and do his own laundry.
People think it's mean that I have a little guy wash his clothes and help with the dishes but he's gonna go to college with their useless kids and he'll be the only one in the dorm who can feed himself
I’m apparently the meanest mom because my kids have to do horrible things like get their own cereal and make themselves sandwiches. Both my kids can cook basic things, the 8 year old can competently follow clear recipes. They both know how to fix small holes and things in clothes and can do laundry (they don’t do their own but that’s more about water conservation than anything). I also make them do this horrible thing called reading rather than watching TV.
*looks around with almost four year old only child who just lived 3/4 of her life through a pandemic*
To some extent, because we have required dual incomes for most families to survive, this becomes a bi-product. I’m not saying parents shouldn’t still parent - but we’re into a second generation now of dual income families- these parents may not have the tools to parent. Edit, typo
Or the time. I'm only home for 10 hours a day, and I'm only awake for 2-4 of those. Can't imagine trying to raise a dog right now, let alone kids.
I was a stay at home mom for 6 out of the last 10 years if parenting. Now I'm working, same hours as my kids are in school,so I'm gone from 8 30 till 3pm, then dinner 5-6pm, homework 3-4pm, sometimes bath 4-5pm, bed 7-8pm, maybe a rare playdate on a school day and we only do 1 hobby so that's 2 hours gone one day a week. It really feel like the afternoons just fly. That doesn't include doing chores, cleaning, errands etc etc. I couldn't imagine what it's like for a single parent or both parents working 40+ hours a week
Except parents aren't doing it so then we end up with a bunch of assholes. Not sure how you fix the problem to be honest.
Unfortunately, probably exactly by doing what OP dislikes (teaching it in school, doing SEL, etc.). However, much like how cops are expected to be social workers, animal trainers, etc. without training; teachers are expected to be a million things without any funding, training, time, or respect for their work/life balance. We need to create dedicated systems/programs to assist with this without just expecting teachers to take on the additional load. I don't know exactly how to do that, or what it looks like, but I do know it requires funding which...we ain't got.
I'm in no way saying this is ideal; ideal would be parents parenting. But unfortunately we can't rely on that and if we want to create a better future, we have to give students a chance to develop critical life skills like communication, empathy, social skills, emotional intelligence and so on.
Speaking as a teacher, I agree. I loathe teaching it. But I've seen some of the kids that we get through our doors and holy shit do they need some sort of basic life skills training; as well as some moral development - or at least the opportunity to develop their morality.
That said, every school program I've ever seen to teach this stuff has sucked fucking balls. Schools try, but it is not something we, or more specifically our admin, have been equipped to develop.
Your sexual orientation isn't a replacement for a personality, and yes this applies to straight people as well.
Gay man here, I second this. Too often I've been told "but you don't look like it?" When I revealed to people my sexuality. Do I really _need_ to "look" like my sexuality? I thought the point of inclusivity was that I could live my life normally like any other person
Some people think you have to be sneezing glitter to be a gay man lol
Idk if this is an unpopular opinion but I feel like the media doesn’t always help this.
I've had that said to me way too many times as a gay woman. Is there even any stereotypical look for a lesbian? Other than short, rainbow colored hair? It was especially disappointing when my friend told me that, who is also gay, and also added "you just look and act straight".
Online social justice warriors. Putting on a show on social media by reposting political opinions and support for certain ideas doesn’t make you a hero, and I think a lot of people do it just to be perceived a certain way. If you really care about an issue, there is actual action you should take and you shouldn’t need all your acquaintances from high school to know.
We should spend money optimally to save it. Just cuz it’s a good cause/ necessary doesn’t mean we should flood it with cash and not have open accounting.
Anyone can be racist.
I would get a gun if I needed to defend myself from someone violent or if I moved to an isolated area far from a hospital or police station.
> I would get a gun if I needed to defend myself from someone violent or if I moved to an isolated area far from a hospital or police station.
If you really believe this you should get a gun now. The police do not prevent incidents they just write down what happened afterward. Even an insanely fast police response takes a lot longer than it takes for someone to kill you.
the last big school shooting story was about cops getting there in minutes only to wait an hour to do anything while people got shot. Not only that but they arrested people that did try to help
It is perfectly okay to not want to date someone who has an OnlyFans / does porn, and does not make one a misogynist
A lot of us don’t call out obviously extremist / backward Islamic practices for fear of playing into stereotypes
I come from a Muslim background and there's really nothing wrong with giving genuine criticism on Islam. Plus if liberals were really liberal, they wouldn't be defending Islam in the first place.
As a liberal who grew up in an evangelical home, I think we should defend peoples' rights to practice beliefs, but we should ostracize when those beliefs impede on the rights of others. It \*should\* be fairly simple - I should be able to believe and practice my own convictions without interfering in the liberty of others to practice or not practice those things.
Religions are \*all\* interpreted. From the outside looking in, it's easy to see something like a spectrum - "extreme" vs "in name only." In reality, there are entirely different doctrines, for example, within the same \_denomination\_ of a religion, much less across the religion level itself.
I can't speak with authority on the Muslim religion - I'd be surprised if there wasn't a similar dynamic reality amongst practicing Muslims; not just "extremism vs moderation", but interpretation of scriptures etc.
Government shouldn't be involved in our private lives.
Mentally ill homeless people should be forced to get treatment, because the lack of treatment constitutes a safety hazard to the general public.
My brother is schizophrenic and became a crack/meth addict. He first got sick in his early 20’s and my parents put him in every facility in the state. He’d escape constantly and walk hours back home. When those started to close in the ‘90s, they tried group homes where he’d also leave. On one occasion where he got enough privileges to come home for the weekend, he got a hold of my parents credit card and book a bus ticket from NJ to CA.
That’s when his pot/lsd use turned into meth and crack. He does petty theft to get put in jail when he needs food and shelter, he goes to the hospital when he’s been off his meds for so long and he knows he needs to get stabilized, but will always return to the streets.
He still has my parents phone number memorized (even when they moved 7 years ago) and will call to let them know he’s alive/ask for money. Though my parents have stopped giving him money years ago.
He’s now 51 years old and in Skid Row LA as I type. I have NO IDEA how he’s still alive.
Point is? He does not want treatment. The drugs are the ONLY things that keep the voices away, or quieted anyway.
This. When people talk about homelessness it’s hard to chime in and say “some people *want* to live that way.”
A relative of mine ‘Marta’ was homeless for most of her adult life. She had ample opportunity to get cleaned up, become the mother to her son she claimed she wanted to be, but when it came time to try she never followed through. Escaped rehabs, moved to NYC to get away from family pressure to get clean. She stayed around Harlem, had a dog, a consistent boyfriend, and all the heroin the city could provide. Meanwhile her grandmother (my great aunt) was loaded, offered multiple times over many decades to set her up with treatment and an apartment, but Marta wouldn’t hear any of it. She died, still homeless, in 2010.
Edit: fixed spelling
I’ve had people literally yell at me and basically tear me a new asshole when I’ve said that. It’s so frustrating. I even sent one of these people I know a link to a soft white underbelly interview and she went on a whole rant how that doing those interviews are “abusive” to those people.
I honestly think modern civiliization is just too much for some brains to handle. It's easier for some to be cold and hungry and wasted than to keep track of the thousands of things modern society requires of them. No matter how advanced we get I think there's always going to be a subset of people who would rather be "feral", for lack of a better term.
I'm just going to say, antipsychotics and psychiatric hospitals have improved a lot in the past 30 years. Like, we've only had atypical antipsychotics since 1998.
I think it’s more like, there are more to the mentally ill homeless than people realize. My brother was stabilized when he bought that bus ticket. He was stabile for a good year and a half in a group home 4/5 years ago. He just didn’t want it. I would HOPE he’s in the minority, and I WISH getting the mentally ill homeless off the street like that worked, but it just doesn’t. Some of them really do have families that have tried everything.
As a nurse who has taken care of plenty of homeless patients as you have described, it is a very unfortunate reality. People don't always want what is "best" for them. It's not easy nor possible to just force someone to get better for a multitude of complicated reasons. But then what is the alternative, right?
Thank you for your story to shed light on the subject, u/EyeDclareBankruptcy
There was this Dutch TV show that seemed at least sincere in wanting to help homeless people.
One man was given an apartment and when they visited him again he was doing great. He had wanted the help and wanted to better his life.
A different man was given a house. It was not pleasant to watch. He accepted it the house, but it was clear that he did not actually want help or feel comfortable in that house. Let's just say that I feel for the neighbours and the people who had to clean up that house.
Eventually that man went back to living under a bridge/viaduct. Along with his alcohol. He seemed really happy to be back there. The person helping them was clearly overwhelmed with emotions and felt like he had failed the man though.
The old adage, you can lead a horse to water but cant make it drink
I live in a fairly safe city in Canada and recently there was a fatal stabbing, a near fatal push (potential victim rolled under the subway car), and a few assaults on public transit. (Not to mention the sexual assaults, hooray. /s)
I know covid19 has messed up people's supports but holy crap, people are losing it right and left and we need more treatment and more public safety. I get it, mental health is hard and expensive but leaving it untreated means we get scenarios like this with angry/frightened people lashing out.
Yeah, I’m in a different city and our downtown has gotten rancid. With so many people working from home it’s just been taken over by the homeless population. Yelling, fighting, shitting in the streets, passing out in the middle of the sidewalk (not just sleeping). I was assaulted (not severely) a decade ago by a mentally ill homeless man and was fine up until the last few years. Now I’m pretty anxious walking to and from work because I’ve had some close calls.
But from what I’ve seen, our city does have some resources. A lot of those though require that the person want to get sober/mentally well. A sad number don’t, or aren’t ready at that time. It’s also a bit of a revolving door - some people get help, get a little bit on their feet, but it’s really hard and the ongoing support they need isn’t there, so they end up back on the street.
I believe that we need to shift our thinking from “we need to help the homeless” to “we need to stop people from becoming homeless.” People want to help those that are already homeless by building more shelters, clean injection sites, etc. But aren’t always willing to support initiatives that would help prevent these people from falling through the cracks in the first place. More mental health treatment options, better addiction treatment, better disability support, universal basic income, affordable housing, etc. Keeping someone off the street in the first place is far more effective and yet we as a society seem to be okay with waiting until they hit rock bottom and it’s so much harder to get them help.
Yeah, this is a tough one. I think institutions need to be overhauled and given way more funding, but I agree. It's so frustrating, because I feel like people make it about what someone deserves, and whose fault it is, but the reality is that that doesn't really matter. But it seems like a lot of the liberal talking points are like "well, these people have been seriously harmed by institutional problems, abuse etc, so therefore we need to be compassionate" and I agree with that - I don't at all agree with the conservative view of "well they should just stop being homeless, get a job and pull themselves up by their bootstraps!" But no matter how much something isn't somebody's fault, there's a point at which they are causing disruption or harm to others and something does need to be done.
Obviously I don't have the solutions, I'm just some rando on reddit. But I really wish we could change the framing around this issue.
The reality is that there are different reasons people may be homeless. Some ran into financial difficulty, had medical bills, lost their jobs or a host of other issues and need support getting back on their feet to ideally keep their homelessness temporary. Whereas others have severe mental disorder or drug addiction and have no desire or ability to remain housed - and that needs a very different situation that we’re still not talking about. Obviously it’s more nuanced than those two categories but far too many people try to simplify it even more.
That the Democratic Party doesn’t give a shit about you.
I work at a clothes store. I feel like I'm made out to be a conservative when I get frustrated with co-worker's work ethic. But I'll be honest I more found annoying the amount of young minds who will be told by a manager "Can you please get off your phone and do the work that's currently sitting around you right now?" Immediately just go to coworkers and go "God she's such a bitch! Fuck her! How could she say that to me?"
Asshole, because you're being paid by the fucking hour while you sit there being useless on your phone resenting every little bit of work being thrown your way.
My thing is why the hell did you sign the job application, go to the interview begging for the job and now that you have it you suddenly have no desire to work. Don't even bother working for us if you can't learn to build a work ethic.
I really hope there's a smarter bunch out there that looks at this and goes, "yeah that not conservative." But so far it sounds like im just an asshole for assuming my coworkers work ethic didn't amount to shit.,
Yea being lazy at work doesn’t just screw your employer, it screws over your coworkers who have to cover for you.
I was working in a liquor store, it’s truck day and I’m stocking the shelves, and running back and forth to the counter to check people out, and I’m like “where the fuck is X?” She was leaning out of the drive thru window reading a fucking book
Carried a team doing IT support for a year doing 50% of our tickets in a team of five as I watched others sitting around playing games on their computers (in a job that had plenty of downtime.) I was also paid the least of that group. It was really satisfying to quit that job.
Sounds like the average IT group to me. One person doing the work, the rest positing to Reddit about how smart they are and everyone is stupid.
I don't mind controlling borders as long as they aren't closed and you treat with decency the people who want to enter.
Edit - for those saying that this is already a liberal belief, I should articulate that Trump made this issue so polarizing that saying you support immigration control is like saying you are opposed to immigrants (in many people's minds). So, the way I've said it is in keeping with my progressive beliefs, but the reality is that many people would interpret my statement as being conservative.
A corollary is I am totally okay with Voter ID cards if they are implemented in a manner that gives more than 1 cycle to get a card before the election and there is no fee for a basic card or no onerous process to obtain one other than identifying yourself. And that there is help given to those that need services to do that.
But implementing it 3 months before an election is bullshit.
I'm cool with voter ID laws so long as they're something everybody can get quickly, painlessly, for free, and at all hours of the day, and we have tons of forewarning before they're implemented. Heading down to a government office that's only open a few days a week, only open a few hours in the middle of the day, chronically understaffed, and only has one location around town? Simply not a realistic model for a functional democracy that doesn't have de facto discrimination against the working poor.
I feel like a lot of liberals are kinda full of themselves and their own lives. They wanna look like they’re doing good so that they feel good rather than actually caring about what makes a difference. They consume goodness in order to own smugness.
If you are getting government assistance cause you can't support your children. you shouldn't be having more children until you can support them
Edit - I'm not from America, I'm from New Zealand where we recieve free abortions and cheap birth control . I've apparently been misleading not saying I'm not from America, not sure why I should have to but there you go
I agree, but there's no way to enforce that without getting into some pretty yikesy territory
We should be allowing people to get free contraceptives and free medical sterilization paid for through taxes.
In nz we pretty much get free contraception , I think the pill or condoms are like $5 for 3 months and we have free access to abortions. My husband just got a vasectomy and it was free as well. Makes me angry that all women don't have proper access to these services
Edit - Vasectomy might not actually be free for all in nz , my husband got it for free so assumed it was but might not be
I was recently driving through a small, very conservative town and saw the sign for a small general store say "Amazon won't sponsor your community little league team, shop local!" and I could not argue with that.
Its funny how half the 'conservative' opinions on here are like the same opinions my liberal/left leaning self and friends have lol
Because nearly everyone has way more common ground than anything else. We’re all way closer together than they want us to believe because if they keep us fighting they get to do whatever they want when we’re not looking. Nobody is ok with the legalized money laundering and insider trading that happens every day in dc. Nobody wants schools to get shot up. Nobody wants to pay far out the ass for medical treatment. But if they keep us fighting about whatever the latest thing is they don’t have to fix anything
Most normal people have similar ideas and want the same things. What is normally disagreed on is the process to implement those ideas.
The nut cases are the loudest therefore that's what most people think of when they think of liberals and conservatives.
Maybe it’s the media pushing these nutcases to the forefront? Media thrives on conflict. Idk.
Kinda like how party lines are meant to divide us and feel isolated/attacked by the other when really we mostly just wanna get along and help each other be better.
This exactly. The political parties are turning nearly everyone who has an opinion into extremists, and makes it seem like it has to be an “us against them” even though we all live under the same damn government and should be working together
Is shopping on Amazon somehow liberal? Or more so than shopping local?
People have literally 0 fucking idea what the political spectrum even means
I support doing our duty in accepting refugees and immigrants, but I also fully support stripping citizenships and deporting those who commit abhorrent crimes such as sexual violence against others or 1st degree murder.
Sadly though, we do not live in a world where we can ship people to Australia as criminals. Stripping citizenship leaves a gap of "where do they go now?" Because other countries will not want them.
Some poor people are actually just lazy.
Mhm. You'll also find that this carries through all ranks of society as well. Plenty of basement dwelling middle classers and permanent vacationing upper classers too.
Best friend in high school was poor. His dad was on welfare and sold the pain pills he didn't need to he could buy other drugs and not work. I know the type well.
All races can be racist