T O P
FaxMachines4Life

Gertrude


SPARTAN_GAM3R

Literally the first thing that came to my mind!!


Aleksand0r

You can trade her cats in for 200 deaths after a couple of hours tho


ActOne25

Mildred


kaitco

I grew up with a girl named Mildred. I always felt that her personality was super exuberant and wild to make up for her name.


cursethedarkness

I also grew up with a Mildred, and she very much fit her name. The worst part was that her parents named her sister Tiffany, and Tiffany was absolutely adorable. I could never figure out what was wrong with the parents. They didn’t even call Mildred Millie.


CanAhJustSay

Quite possibly naming the first daughter after a grandmother/aunt, then their own choice for the second daughter.


Demiansky

I kinda feel like that makes the name work better than a trendy name, though. Like she's a flapper from the roaring 20's or something.


tropicnights

Mildred is exactly what popped into my head as I opened the thread, and sure enough here it is right at the top.


aromaticgem

Millie is the way to go with that name.


Zestyclose_Quote5017

I went to college with a girl named Millie, and it literally didnt even occur to me that it might be short for mildred! She was a super typical hot girl / athlete / crossfit trainer, so Millie was probably a little more fitting


Typical_Half_3533

myrtle


[deleted]

What if she moans?


Dobbyharry

Then she’s definitely old, she’s been dead forever.


[deleted]

Username checks out


LexxyLitchQueen

Ethel


Coconut-bird

Knew an absolutely gorgeous girl named Ethel in college. It never stopped feeling weird calling her that.


1crbngrp

My name is Ethel and this comment made my day. Thanks stranger.


sceli

Meanwhile, back at the gas station… Edit. This is very nice. I remember listening to Ray Stevens albums as a kid. I even got a Wholesome Award (thank you!). But, what I meant was something my friend’s grandfather always said. I guess I thought others would know it as well. Meanwhile, back at the gas station, grandpa’s pumping Ethel (ethyl gas). Not very wholesome I’m afraid.


pornAndMusicAccount

Don’t look, Ethel!!! But it was too late. edit: finding other Ray Stevens fans has completely turned around my Monday morning. Sometimes Reddit is still a great place. For those who don’t know what we’re talking about: https://open.spotify.com/track/2UNfMwF1yY6wSKQUIOOjFh?si=ZZp0JTWDT3CBVT0G4IKF8g


Acrokat

She'd already been incensed.


LegoCMFanatic

You know they call him the streak Fastest thing on two feet


ua2

Boogitty Boogitty


bazinga3604

Ethel, you shameless hussy!


Angry_Mudcrab

Ebenezer


2ndfieldontheright

Ebenezer Goode


chantillylace9

I have a client named Ebenezer and he is the meanest jerk face I have ever dealt with and it takes everything in my soul not to call him Ebeneezer Scrooge every time I have to talk to him. They could not be a more fitting name because he is just the absolute worst person ever!!


Still_counts_as_one

Would he actually be like that if his name wasn’t that or was he turned that way due to his name, the mystery’s of a name


ProsecUsig

Jebediah


S-Elena

Jedediah


MRE_Milkshake

Ezekiel


-KFBR392

Zeke's making a bit of a comeback these days


CharlieMike111

Fuck you Ezekiel


zach2992

Fuck you, Tony.


Timmace

Elias' younger brother?


radicallyhip

You know, you don't see Gaylord that much anymore.


GreatWentGin

Gaylord Focker!


NCSUGrad2012

Can you milk me, Greg?


itwashimmusic

I see hundreds of them but I work in warehouse logistics…


ObiLaws

Gaylords are really big boxes (like comes up to the chest of an average height American male, wide and deep enough he couldn't reach across it in any direction) in warehouses, for those out of the loop. The one at my store is what he throw all the recycled electronics into


tygah_uppahcut

I used to work at a small manufacturing facility, and a coworker told me ‘Yeah we just put all the scrap in the Gaylord, I said “I beg your pardon?”


RenaKunisaki

Not many people named Adolf either.


fs5ughw45w67fdh

I knew an Adolf in middle school. He was Hispanic and would punch people that greeted him with a Nazi salute.


Arttherapist

Adolf Dassler the founder of Adidas was smart enough to go by "Adi"


Lorna_Daugherty_663

"There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it."


missly_

Eustace Bagge is my favorite Eustace.


Wolfram1914

**THAT'S IT, I'M GETTIN' ME MALLET**


OgOnetee

STUPID DOG!


TheNullOfTheVoid

YA MAKE ME LOOK BAD!!


chuckthe_chicken

When I read "Eustace", my mind immediately went "Murielle"


the_original_Retro

Probably grew up and married Beulah Frances MacTavish.


ArcTan_Pete

>There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it Narnia. ah yes, which one did Eustace first appear in?


LegoCMFanatic

Quite easily the best one after The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe


CaptainApathy419

Beg to differ: The Horse and His Boy will always be tops (excluding TLTWATW) in my mind.


in_it_to_lose_it

The Magician's Nephew is also an under-appreciated sleeper. I feel it widened the mythology so much more than any other book in the series, with the in-between world of forest pools and the bit we see of Charn. Makes me wish Lewis had explored that idea a bit more.


LegoCMFanatic

Oh my gosh yes, I would have loved to see more of the different worlds. It would have been hilarious if (since Lewis and Tolkein were great friends irl) one of them was Tolkein's Middle-Earth haha


Squid2012

The Horse and His Boy is such a good story in its own right


_Plastics

"if he's Eustace, why do we keep him around!?"


mollymakenna

Phyllis. It's also one of those names where the more you look at it, the (Phy)less it looks like a name


woodgie2

Methuselah


Acceptable-Draft-163

Just meth for short


Scoongili

If there was no "l" they would be a British meth user.


tequiIamockingbird

Yeah, that's my partner, Methusulah Honeysuckle


Comprehensive-Salt52

Mortimer


greennoodlehair

Mortimer and Bella forever!


Confident_Ad6495

found the sims player


WillRunForPopcorn

Yeah this name will always make me think of Mortimer Goth


ArgentinizedViking93

Gladys


Fave_McFavington

She was in portal wan't she?


rdrunner_74

That was GLaDOS


Longjumping_Toe3929

Agatha or Bertha.


eatyourdamndinner

My Norwegian great-grandmother was named Berit. She thought it was such an awful name, so old fashioned. So she changed her name to an American version that was "so much more pretty and youthful". Yep. She changed it to Bertha.


SpoiledSpaghetti3

Try Ariel for a male. Pronounced Are-e-el. I was born in 87 had to battle the whole little mermaid thing my whole life, which didn’t come out till 89 but everyone says I was named after it. My name is actually Hebrew, from my Hebrew father. Who is from Israel.


konqueror321

From wikipedia: Ariel is a given name from Biblical Hebrew אריאל Ariel that literally means "lion of God". The female form is אריאלה (transliterated as Ariela, Ariella, or the alternative English and French spelling Arielle). In modern Hebrew, Ariel is primarily used as a male name.


SpoiledSpaghetti3

Thank you for this


Barbara_Celarent

I know a Berit in her early 50s. She’s American.


melindypants

It was Agatha all along!


lonewolflondo

And I killed Sparky too....😂😂😂


Ronkerjake

For Agatha!!!


c0mp0stable

My chickens are named old lady names: Ruth, Gertie, Pearl, Gladys, Edna


Sad-Artichoke-2174

It somehow seems fitting


Abundiz93

It’s because we still have [this chicken archetype](https://imgur.com/gallery/VFxenQu) ingrained.


Accurate-Cockroach

Me too!! I have a variety of old lady names for my girls. Edith, Gladys, Phyllis, Bernadette, etc. And my rooster is Bert.


ArcTan_Pete

I had an aunt Maud. I can never think of the name without thinking about a very old lady


Rivrghosts

Met a “Herb” once!


Fave_McFavington

As in Herbert, I assume?


solaris79

Short for Sherbert.


procrastinator72

My uncle's name is Herb. His father was Basil. I thought it was hilarious!


makeitwork1989

My grandmother’s name was Blanche. I can’t imagine holding a baby Blanche


figaro40

My grandmother was Blanche too. She hated it!


Schneetmacher

I've always thought Blanche sounded pretty in French, but *horrible* in English.


donnysaur95

Nearly every kid from the show Hey Arnold! Has an old person name: -Arnold -Gerald -Helga -Harold -Olga -Rhonda -Eugene


LovelockMike

Arza. My dad's name, birth in 1908. There were other men before him who had the same name. He gave it to my brother who had his 90th birthday in May.


Dizzy_Snow_1153

My dad had a classmate named Imagene O'Rear. The kids bullied her. They called her Imanut O'Butt. Was approx 1932 in rural Oklahoma.


Kayakityak

I had a great great aunt named Fanny Holder.


Shemishka

I know of someone named Fanny Pack. Seriously.


paul_webb

My grandma used to work with a guy named Richard Head. He insisted that people call him Dick....


AdBright4645

Got a guy at work who’s name is Rusty Cox.


jackfaire

(cue people scouring the list hoping not to see their own name)


sugarcinnamonpoptits

Came here for exactly that! So far, haven't seen it


Teacherteacherlol

Algernon Aloysius. Myrtle Mildred. My great grandpa and grandma’s names. They called themselves “Al” and “Ducky”- we can all tell why.


hillakilla_

My great grandpas name was Aloysius! It’s my favorite name. I’ve never met anyone else with that name so it’s cool to see!


BroItsJesus

Fucking love the name Algernon. My husband? Not so much


Xero2814

Reminds me too much of the story "Flowers for Algernon". I couldn't saddle my kid with that.


mac_128

Walter


Fave_McFavington

There is a reference to be made here


Imposseeblip

Well, they did say his name.


Fave_McFavington

You're god damn right


nonsense_popsicle

Dick Edit: looks like "dick" just hit 1k, not that it's a measuring contest or anything


ItDoesntMatter59

It was a perfectly reasonable question


swkoontz

Most Dicks are actually Richards. Which I’ve never really understood, but it is what it is.


Tulikettuja

Nicknaming in ye olde times wasn't always just shortening the name, hence Jack for John and Harry for Henry. They got creative.


Dylak_Plus

By the way, why is "Dick" short for "Richard"? Where the hell does that come from?


loubybooby90

How do you get Dick from Richard? You ask nicely 😊


permalink_save

I think it's that names got shortened so Richard -> Rick and there was a trend of changing the first letter (I guess similar to how we use the B emoji to replace letters), so the R became D. Like how Will is Bill.


OhBella_4

>Like how Will is Bill. My grandpa was a Bill & when I was little he used to say it was short for Billiam to make me giggle. Just made me giggle then & it's been 30 years since he passed.


jaymojangles

just made me giggle too. shout out to your grandpa!


AnyCurrency6027

Otto should, in my opinion, make a comeback. Inverted and reversed, it reads the same. At four months old, your child will start writing his name.


chantillylace9

I know an attorney named Otto. He’s Hispanic I believe, and about 45.


makeitwork1989

Otto is making a comeback. But I do love short names. My kiddo has a 4 letter name and he learned to spell it very early on as a result


[deleted]

[удалено]


McLuvi

Thats false, mine has 4 letters actually.


throw_yourseIf_away

Have a friend whose wife is pregnant and they're naming the baby Otto.


designdesigndesign11

I have an Otto, and it is the most fun name. There are lots of references in books, tv, and movies, but we haven’t met another one yet.


Em_Haze

I love that name. Mainly because of the Simpsons but it just has such jazz.


webbed_feets

My name is Otto. I love to get blotto.


cara27hhh

Edith! EDITH! ​ (you have to say it loud, she's deaf)


SquigwardTennisballs

Yeah Archie, what is it?!


ZerrickiShowdown

It's more like "ahhhhchie"


sh0rtyx

as a teen with this name im highly offended😂


FrescoInkwash

Ernest


atomicrutabaga

Maude


JuliaLouis-DryFist

And then there's maude


Hokenlord

*frantically scrolling through to see if my name is somewhere*


ArtEclectic

Eunice or Beuford


[deleted]

Aloysius


OG_Jayne

I dunno, but I do love watching trendy names become outdated. It seemed like 80% of the girls I grew up with had K names (Krystal, Kristi, Kristin, Krista, Kaylee) and all the guys were J's (Josh, Jason, Jesse, Jake, Justin). Then when my friends started having kids they were all some version of Aiden (Aiden, Jayden, Kayden, Brayden). A couple years ago there were a LOT of Arya's and Khaleesi's. Can't wait for those to be somebody's Memaw.


caligal963

Beulah


Xiao_Qinggui

Murray


Odd_Knowledge_8597

Edna


JoeRoganIs5foot3

Krabappel? I've been calling her Crandall!


georgkozy

Edna mode?


AislinKageno

And guest.


Rogue42bdf

Alphonse


GoToHellTedFaro

It's in Turkish but İsmet.


SapphireShaddix

For what it's worth, this is a cool sounding name to someone who isn't Turkish.


vonblatenberg

Not in Serbo-Croatian speaking countries. It literally means "excrement".


orange_cuse

Don't meet too many "Seymours" these days.


SuvenPan

Ichabod


I-am-here-what-next

Gertrude. Genevieve. Harold.


AliceAmonet

I know a teenager named Genevieve 🤷‍♀️ Tbf she goes by Genny


chantillylace9

I know a two-year-old named Genevieve, she is very Italian and her brother is Salvatore! Her mom is Josephine and dad is Joseph lol.


MokausiLietuviu

I know a 4-year old Genevieve. Don't really see that as an old name myself.


LucyVialli

Mabel


Brutal909

I says to Mabel I says


purewhopper

Quality reference


pornAndMusicAccount

Mabel is making a comeback, at least in the Midwest US. I know three kids named Mabel.


JarJarBinks590

Alex Hirsch will probably be so proud of himself for that.


Logan_No_Fingers

Mabel will be coming back with a vengeance, Selena Gomez has 300m insta followers & is rolling straight into season 2 of Only Murders in the Building as Mabel. So there's about 300m 15-30 year old women worldwide right now going "Huh.. Mabel, I don't know any kids called that & for some reason it seems very cool to me"


lipov27

I used to think that before watching Gravity Falls.


biteofbitter

“That sounds like a fat old lady’s name.” -Pacifica Northwest


Bells87

"I'll take that as a compliment!"


DrTheRick

Gertrude


The_Pooter

My great great uncle's name was Hampy. I kinda want it brought back.


xxplodingboy

Elmer


Kermit_Relapse

Agnes


dezidogger

Ethel. Don’t look Ethel but it was too late


Jaygarrett1986

She done been mooned


theriverbedrunsdry

I don't see any in Spanish, so here goes: Guadalupe for boys. (I'm of Mexican descent.) Josemaría, Gertrudis (Gertrude in English, it's old BOTH ways, hey!) Griselda, Leonor, Agata, Agustín/Agustina, most all of the Marian titles (Adoración, Asunción, Carmela, etc.) Bonifacio (I had a great uncle named this but he was born in friggin eighteen seventy-something) Bernarda (his little sister, 1880), Cruz, Clotilde (like Doña Clotilde, la bruja de 71! It was an antique name even in Chespirito's time!) and Macario is the last one I can think of. 😊


kirkl3s

I work with a dude named Pendleton Agnew


tjc187tjc

“Old names are back in fashion now, Mildred, Ethel, etc etc.. so we decided to call our daughter Nan, she’ll grow into it” - Gary Delaney.


Tr4c3gaming

Günther, Wolfgang, Reiner, Jörg, Jürgen, Uwe, Gottfried (holy hell that's a rare name in itself), Peter is also getting quite the notoriety as an old name For the germans


reliction

Meine halbe Familie heißt so


Waescheklammer

Those are names of people in their 40s - 60s mostly (Except Gottfried). Really old names are more like Alfred, Siegfried, Waldtraut, Friedrich, Elfride, Ursel, Fritz, Gertrude, Wilhelm...basically anything with fred and fried :D


klassz

Edeltraut?


Fancy_weirdo

Wilhelm should make a come back. It's fun to say. Wilhelm!WILHELM!!!! Wilhelm friedrich lastname if you don't come here right now I swear to god! Yeah I like it.


Limp-Sundae5177

Some German names: Women's names I can think of: Brunhilde, Hildegard, Edeltraud, Adelheid, Irmgard, Irmtraud, Rosemarie, Rosamunde, Bärbel, Christel, Heidemarie, Gundula, Walburga Men's names: Gottfried, Traugott, Fürchtegott, Hans, Heinz, Horst, Rudolf, Reinhold, Alfred, Friedrich, Wilhelm, Wilfried, Theodor, Leopold, Kaspar, Gustav and (of course) Adolf


energetic-landlord

I used to work in a call center years ago and came across an old guy named Purvis. It makes my skin crawl.


never_nudez

Why? Ol’ Purv is such a nice chap.


CoolIceCreamCone

Shirley


PUFFERFISH265

Eustace


hawkwings

Florence


hot-rod-lincoln

My grandmother’s given name was Nannie Pearl Willis. It’s the single most southern-sounding grandmotherly name I’m ever heard. Also, made me look rather dumb when a kid in my class in grade school referred to his grandmother as “Nanny”. I said, “My grandma’s name is Nannie too!” Everyone thought I was an idiot until I proved that my grandmother was, in fact, named “Nannie”, and it wasn’t just a nickname I called her.


friedoreo30

Helen, Gertrude Wilma Betty frank


SwordTaster

Helen is quite a common name for the younger generations in the UK. I know 3 who are 30 or below


bayleenator

I think Helen is a timeless name. It makes me think of Helen of Troy.


Quithpa

Gertrude was first to my mind.


cycloptopussy

When a close friend started dating her husband, her friends at the time protested pretty heavily. Not because he wasn't an amazing dude who everyone loved. No. Instead, most said, "oh my God, but his name is *FRANK*"


ivegot3dvision

My ex left me for a dude named Wilbur. It hurt when she left, but knowing she left me for someone with an unfortunate first name and even more unfortunate last name softened the blow a bit.


designdesigndesign11

I married a Frank III. We divorced, but apparently he and his new wife have a Frank IV, which he swore he’d never do. lol.


Limited_U

I’ve never met a child named Keith, I swear they just show up as a 40 year old man.


Either_Difficulty851

Dorcas, Doris, Mulva, Deloris.


caligal963

Mavis


pm__puffy_nips

Methuselah


over_under_

Homer


PMMeUrHopesNDreams

Beowulf. You never meet a Beowulf these days.


susankeane

only grandpas are named Gordon


LunaWillowind

Ulrik, Magda, Aud, Kjellaug, Ingmar, Ingolf, Oddny, Torvald... Just some I could think of that are rather Scandinavian older generation names.


lxmn__

Agnes


Shinobi120

I don’t meet many Ashurbanipals or Thutmoses these days.