By - RagnarokBringer
"We left Kevin home alone!"
\*whips out smartphone, sends Kevin a text\*
*hey sorry we forgot about you, we are sending you a digital ticket right now, put it on your wallet, uber to the airport, c u tomorrow*
Then they arrive home after Christmas to find their valuables have been robbed.
Their nest camera would have caught them.
And then the police/government let the burglars off/refuse to charge them for the crime spree...but give them 10 years for leaving the taps running.
And an extra 5 years for leaving the front lights on
If they're living in that house in 2022 and still taking Paris vacations they'll survive one robbery.
Unless they're what the French call "les incompétents."
Home Alone (2022), rated G.
Dude, the last movie in the franchise came out in 2021, it’s on Disney+
I did see a good idea for a reboot/remake of Home Alone
Exact same plot, story, jokes, everything. You could even set it in 1990 like the original so you don't have the smartphone issue.
The "twist" is that Macaulay Culkin is still playing "eight year old" Kevin McAllister.
I mean I would watch this
I feel like Macaulay would be on board for this.
Would you, /u/MacaulayCulkinAMA ?
Came here to say this movie also. Glad I wasn't the only one.
Losing power would not knock out their cell phones and so their alarm clocks would still work. Everyone wakes up on time and they do not forget Kevin at all.
That....would not work. Kevin has no ID, has no parent there, and a kid flying alone without a UMNR escort is suspicious as all hell.
They could probably talk to the airport and get someone to make sure he gets on the plane alright—unaccompanied minors are not a new thing for airlines and a manager could pull the necessary strings to make it work out
No. They just have to pay a fee for an unaccompanied minor. The ID thing would be a problem, though.
They could make it a space movie. Cross *The Martian* with *Home Alone*...
Airplane! (1980) and the sequel, not sure how some of those jokes would fly in a post-9/11 world.
Perhaps an auto-pilot would be of assistance?
You mean Otto?
I like my coffee like I like my men (8 year old girl). "Black!"
Most Leslie Nielson movies would never be approved now. May he rest in peace. Just don't call him Shirley!
When I was a kid there was a rumor that Jay Jay the Jet Plane was canceled because of 9/11. There was only one episode that got pulled because of 9/11 and it was when Jay Jay crashed into a building because he was learning how to fly.
An entire sequence from Lilo and Stitch was removed/ heavily edited, and had new footage animated because of a scene involving a plane flying around and off of buildings.
Edit: [found it](https://youtu.be/F2uJvwiSZAQ)
A sequence was also cut out of Sam Raimi's 'SpiderMan' movie set in and around the twin towers. It was in [one of the teaser trailers though.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ozz8uxW733Q)
Surely no one would possibly take any offense to those jokes.
I think they would. And don't call me Shirley.
oh don't worry, i speak jive.
Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da help!
Have you ever seen a grown man naked? Oof
Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
Do you like movies about gladiators?
It's not even just those jokes that wouldn't fly.
"Oh, Stewardess, I speak jive."
"I like my men like I like my coffee..."
"Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"
"You should have gone ahead with the abortion..."
Family Guy is on TV every week. Those jokes are not out of bounds.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
My dad tells a story about the first time he saw RHPS. He and his mates were in the city one Saturday night having some drinks. They got bored and were going past a cinema that had “ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW MIDNIGHT SCREENING” and they thought “hey, a horror movie”.
So they enter in and it is dark, so they don’t see that a floor show is being set up.
They sit through the opening Double Feature, Science Fiction and think “this is great, referencing old movies”
Then out comes the wedding scene and the crowd are throwing toilet paper and confetti and they are really getting into the movie.
Wild scientist creating people, axe murder, cannibalism, betrayal and murder. They were really getting into it.
They get to end, and then are dragged up on stage, after being outed as RHPS Virgins and have to do the time warp to the crowd.
They walked out and said to each “what the hell did we just watch, and why was it so much fun”
My dad showed it to my brother and I when we were kids, and we were hooked.
This story would make a fun movie on its own 🤣
This is a fantastic choice for a unique reason. It was pushing the envelope on really taboo ideas at the time, and I think that ingredient of rebellion and disobedience would be completely lost today.
Funny story about the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I loved that movie as a young child. I was probably tooooo young to watch it but I was the youngest of my siblings and my parents were pretty laid back. I didn’t know what gay was, and I didn’t know about taboo things yet. And I always find it absolutely fascinating that I did not even question what I was watching.. when Frankenferter got in bed with Janet and then with Brad? Nope I just was like noooo brad and Janet are cheating on each other!! When frankenferter takes rocky to bed and sang about how sexy he is? I didn’t think anything of it.
Really shows that our ideas about “normal” and “taboo” greatly depend on what we’re taught by others.
Yesss. I was obsessed with RHPS when I was 11 or 12, I dont know how I came upon it so young but I would order the DVD on Netflix every week! Haha. I was so enthralled by it, and I knew it was inappropriate in nature but it just all went over my head. Now as an older person I recognize it for how counterculture and awesome it was, but even then I knew it was something special! Have probably seen it 50+ times.
Took me a long time to figure out how Frank N Furter had ever tasted one of Janet’s apple pies.
As a kid I always assumed he just made up a random insult that rhymed!
They tried with a serie and it was such a steamy pile of shit, like they missed the point completely
the play, on the other hand, was very well done in my opinion
The Matrix….oh wait….
Back to the Future. It absolutely does not need to be remade.
Zemeckis is standing in the way of any kind of remake. And because of the way they signed the deals for those movies, what he says goes. I suspect he’ll also put in writing with his estate that this decision will stand after he dies, but probably with some kind of time limit.
> but probably with some kind of time limit.
If he cares enough to put it in writing for his estate he probably didn't put an expiration. Although eventually it would hit public domain (assuming copyright doesn't get messed up even more) at which point nothing would stop Universal (or anyone else) from making more Back to the Future
Even Disney seems to have finally given up, realising that people are starting to get sick of their bullshit and that "literally two whole lifetimes" is more than enough for copyright to last
If I know Disney like I think I know Disney, they will never give up, *especially* when it comes to copyright
And now that they own Pixar, they're never gonna give you Up.
once it hits the public domain i wouldn't think there would be much desire for a remake
you generally have to put in a time limit - eternal contracts aren't valid
*Asmodeus has left the chat*
especially since 2015 is now the past :p
Always wanted a remake of BTTF 2 with the real 2015.
Lou’s Cafe is now a Starbucks, Doc shows Marty the news about his kid on the USA Today app on an iPad. The time machine is now a Tesla
The Wizard of Oz. There is magic while watching it. Most likely you are watching the oldest movie you have ever seen. But even so, you are verbosely reminded that part of its fame comes from the fact that it ushered in the new era of color film, and that there was a whole era of black and white that came before. The songs are good and they are recognizable. The jokes are still relatively funny. If we are going to leave a monument to old cinema, it should be this.
There are also some movies like shawshank, princess bride, and a league of their own, where actors, the cinematography and really everything clicked just right, and the results was so perfect that any attempt at a remake seems wholly unnecessary (like psycho)
Imagine if they remade Return To Oz and really upped the horror scenes. Wheelers, all of those heads screaming in anger as the headless queen wakes up.
I'd like the entire book series to be a dark show.
I am on the 4th book, out of 15, and the characters and settings are really cool. It's a book written in the turn of the century for children, so It could have that old, creepy factor too it, like old children's costumes, or the first Ronald Macdonald kind of aesthetic.
I knew there was more the series than just the original book, but seriously? Fifteen?
I only know of 14. And this is all I remember of them.
1. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. (You probably know the story)
2. The Marvellous Land of Oz - A boy makes a pumpkin on a stick come to life and an army of girls take over the emerald city.
3. Ozma of Oz - Dorothy and a chicken get blown off a ship, wind up in fairyland, meet Ozma and her old friends. They confront the gnome king who has possession of some people they want back. The chicken saves the day.
4. Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz - journey to the centre of the world?!!!!
5. The Road to Oz - there's a guy called the Shaggy Man?
6. The Emerald City of Oz - Wogglebug?!!!!
7. The Patchwork Girl of Oz - a magician creates a girl made of patchwork and brings her to life. A Munchkin sets out on a journey to make a potion from ingredients found all over Oz. The Patchwork Girl and the Scarecrow hit it off 😏
8. Tik-Tok of Oz - an invasion?! The Gnome King is back?!
9. The Scarecrow of Oz - Cap'n Bill and Tris get sucked down into a whirlpool and meet an ork and find a place where it snows popcorn and eat some berries that change their sizes and end up in a part of Oz where it is ruled by an evil guy. The Scarecrow comes to help them defeat the evil guy and crown the rightful ruler. Something something frozen heart love story, Cap'n Bill becomes a cricket?!
10. Rinkitink in Oz - (my favourite) A prince from the isle of Pinagree must save his parents and people from an evil conquering force that stole everyone and has enslaved them far away, with the help of three magic pearls, Rinkitink (a fat king) and his talking goat.
11. The Lost Princess of Oz - Ozma gets kidnapped. A race of weird Teddy bear people. A golden walnut. A magic cake pan.
12. The Tin Woodsman of Oz - like, whatever happened to that girl you liked in the first book, Tin Woodsman? Wow we totally forgot her, let's she if she'll still marry me. But actually after him she dated another guy who also got turned into a tin man, except this time a Tin Solider? And the tinsmith sewed all of their left over meat pieces into a man and she married that thing?!!!!
13. The Magic of Oz - the Gnome King is mad and enlists the help of a Munchkin who knows a magic word to attack Oz.
14. Glinda of Oz - an evil queen took over an island and transformed three magic adepts into fish and so we turn her into a swan.
Honestly, the Oz series is absolutely crazy, I do recommend it. It's a bit sad no one has bothered to do anything with all the other books.
The irony here is that the 1939 version was, in fact, a remake. There's a silent version from 1925 that's got a very different storyline, which took several elements from a 1914 movie originally titled *His Majesty, the Scarecrow of Oz* but re-released later as *The New Wizard of Oz.* The 1914 movie drew from a different volume of the Oz books.
You can catch the 1925 version every now and again on TCM.
it's on hulu too!
The Wizard of Oz hits different when you learn of the things the cast had to go through. Some of then were left with mental and physical issues long after the movie was finished
Plus the flowers in that one scene were made of asbestos iirc.
Edit: I have been informed by a few people that it was actually the snow that was asbestos, still terrible in the long run.
Wasn't this remade ten years ago from the point of view of the Wizard, starring James Franco? Called *Oz the Great and Powerful*. It kinda fizzled at the box office, and never comes on cable TV.
It was a prequel.
In that logic, Wicked is also a remake, and I think most people would agree that Wicked was very successful
E.T: The extra-terrestrial. Don't need a CGI E.T thank you. The CGI in the anniversary remasters wasn't even necessary.
Any of Spielberg's early work actually.
The Usual Suspects. The reveal would've probably been put in the trailer.
I don't know why everyone's acting like the deep voice trailer guy didn't give us the whole story to almost every movie made before 2005, lol.
In a world.....
Framed for a crime...
Where no one is safe…
Is on a mission…
Certain studios have been doing that for a long time. They revealed that the T-800 was a good guy in the trailer for Terminator 2.
Planet of the Apes put >!the Statue of Liberty on the VHS cover or something!<
Apparently it's a myth that it was on the actual movie poster during the theatrical run. That would have sucked.
The Terminator Salvation revealed the one guy was a terminator, when it was supposed to be a big plot point in the movie. Didn't like the movie anyway, but the trailer still gave it away. I avoid trailers nowadays if I can for that reason.
I don’t watch trailers for movies that I know I want to see.
The 6th Sense. The cat is out of the bag.
In the new version, the twist is that he was alive all along.
Are you sure about that?
What's in the booooooox?
He finds out he was alive but wasn’t *truly* living.
At the end, you find out that the guy in the toupee is Bruce Willis the whole time!
The sound of music. No one will ever measure to the Queen, the one and only, Julie Andrews
Gone with the wind
I actually love the ending to Gone With The Wind so much haha. We spend 4 hours building up Scarlett and Rhett's romance. Then at the very end he gets so tired of her bs and just tells her to do one. Perfect haha
Arsenic and Old Lace
It was originally a stage play. A remake would probably use the same script, but actors who are not suited to the roles.
Man, one of my favorites. I think it could be redone, but not with the charm...
If Jaws were to be filmed nowadays, they would’ve very likely used CGI for the shark instead of a practical animatronic shark.
Actually, the animatronics were quite impractical during filming. It kept breaking down, so they had to film more establishing shots. And this worked, as people’s imaginations made it much scarier than the original script.
It's actually a great example of technical limitations forcing filmmakers to be more creative and restrained. Which is honestly something I think they lost with the advent of cheap CGI.
Just look at Ready Player One or Space Jam 2. Both absolutely rammed with random characters, cameos and visual noise. It doesn't serve the plot and it makes the whole thing harder to process. Just because you CAN do something in a film doesn't mean you should.
Not saying I disagree at all, but IIRC wasn’t the ready player one book just like that? With all kinds of references shoved everywhere, it was like a pop culture tornado.
Wow, 100% agree. Jaws with a CGI shark would be horrible, even a well made puppet shark would ruin it a little. The way he made it had a Hitchcock feel to it, knowing there's danger but never really seeing it until the end.
Smile, you son of a...!
Anything by Jim Henson and his studio other than Muppets. All the puppets would be replaced by CGI, and all the skilled puppeteers who were also voice actors would be replaced by Marvel actors. Same with a lot of stop-motion movies.
If they remake labyrinth I will burn the earth to a crisp
They'd have to grow some sort of genetically engineered sexy/charismatic monster in a lab to replace Bowie. What's the point without him?
The dark crystal series was PHENOMENAL and I was so disappointed they canceled it.
I felt like it had a great story arc and absolutely was fine ending where it did.
It was a great ending but I was not fine with it ending at all. I'm honestly still pissed off about it still.
They just made a new season of Fraggle Rock, and it turned out pretty good.
And the Dark Crystal. Good lord it was amazing. A pox on Netflix for canceling it.
The Princess Bride
I always say I would only *accept a princess bride remake if it was done with the Muppets
Swedish Chef: Her be durn de drinkie urs da poison! Burt! Herb drinkie nur de poison!
Gonzo: I'm.. I don't know what's happening.. I'm just going to drink this one ok? Fine.
What I love is I immediately visualized this in my head and with the original puppets/voices.
Thank you so much. This made my day.
The Princess Bride is my #1 favourite movie of all time, I would never accept a remake - UNLESS they did it with Muppets, I can’t believe I never realise before how perfect this would be
Princess: [text] Stable Boy, clean up the stalls.
Wesley: [text] ~~as you wish~~ aight bet
And that's when Princess Buttercup realized the everytime Wesley said "aight bet" that he was actually saying "I ❤ u".
“They were both poisoned. 🥂 I spent the last few years getting turnt.”
I loved The Princess Bride (Quarantine Edition) that came out in 2020.
That was better than it had any right to be.
How did I never hear of this?! Now I want to watch it so bad.
Wayne's World. The characters were simple, yet worked.
I, for one, wouldn’t mind a gritty remake that misses the point of the original.
Grimdark Wayne's World directed by Zach Snyder.
Party Time. Excellent
Anything Mel Brooks.
Only Spaceballs 2: the Search for More Money would be viable in this economy.
But they would have to release "Spaceballs 3: The search for Spaceballs 2" first.
We need that movie so bad
I just said this elsewhere… but Blazing Saddles dude.
These are just people of the land, the common clay of the West. You know … morons.
You could, but it wouldn't get as popular imho. When it was made the racist westerns were in public consciousness, so the satire was mocking something everyone knew about. Nowadays Westerns aren't really made anymore, so it wouldn't be quite as relevant.
The fifth element.... The tone was just perfect, couldn't replicate that today.
Yes, it is a very nostalgic movie for me that feels very late 90s despite taking place in the future...
The sound track was a fucking string of ethno/world/techno/fusion bangers.
Such a fun movie.
Peak Robin Williams
Probably never wouldve made it to production
Simply don’t remake movies in general.
I think if a movie is bad but had potential or if it’s so old it’s outdated and nobody cares about it anymore then a remake is fine, possibly even good. A few exceptions I’d make to that too, I was hoping they would make a remake of IT after I first saw it because I thought it would be badass with modern special effects and was glad when they finally did many years later.
I agree with your general point but I actually liked the *It* mini-series in its own 80s sort of way.
But I’ll give you another good example: *Ocean’s Eleven*. The original was just a lazy Rat Pack vehicle movie that was just an excuse for those guys to pal around on screen. It was a great idea but there was absolutely no tension or drama in the plot. Basically all the guys met up, hatched their scheme, executed it without a hitch, and got away with the money. The End. The remake was FAR better.
The Goonies. To be fair you probably could remake this one but the original is untouchable. If they remake The Goonies they have to bring Josh Brolin back and not acknowledge the age difference at all.
cant wait for spaceballs 2: the search for more money
But first we have to have “Spaceballs 3: the search for Spaceballs 2”
That is a better title for a Spaceballs sequel. Just skip 2 and never address it in the movie.
No, it needs to be *the point* of the movie.
President Scroob and Dark Helmet have finally escaped the Planet of the Apes, and must now find the keys to the **MegaMaid 2** which was in construction at the time of their previous defeat. Unfortunately, the location of the keys can only be found in a deleted scene in *Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money*, the only copy of which was interred with Barf when he passed at the extremely venerable age of 43 (129 in Mog years).
King Lonestar, his wife Queen Vespa, and Dot 2 (played by Sarah Mitich) are then called on in a race to find their friends final resting place that they can't remember because they got too hammered at the wake to remember where they buried him.
That really should be.
I just don't have faith in Hollywood and their interpretation.
It wouldn't be able to lean into the Jamaica thing in the same way, and would have a political angle rather than letting the story speak for itself
With everyone ages 5 or 6 on up in wealthy neighborhoods having their own cell phones, texting and email readily available, the situation could be resolved so easily.
Also after so many issues of bait and trapping criminals, along with the new laws passed, what Kevin did would be illegal now unless he had law enforcement aware of what he was doing.
>Also after so many issues of bait and trapping criminals, along with the new laws passed, what Kevin did would be illegal now unless he had law enforcement aware of what he was doing.
In the latest Home Alone, they somehow made the villains more likable than the "good kid" protagonist. Mainly because of how extreme the pranks went and just because they basically showed him luring them into traps.
I also can't believe we have six Home Alone movies.
Theres ***6*** home alone movies?!?! I know of 2 (the original and the new york one) i didnt know there were FOUR MORE
The latest one literally came out a few months ago, but apparently it's complete dogshit. Home Alone 3 is very controversial but I enjoyed it a lot as a kid. Definitely a lot more serious in tone than the originals. Home Alone 4 is garbage, and there's a RedLetterMedia video where Macauley Culkin watches and reviews it. Home Alone 5 is not horrible, but like 4 it's so low budget that it's distracting.
Not to mention the entire reason everyone slept in in the movie was because their power went out. If it were made in modern day half the family would have had cell phone alarms and they wouldn't have been rushing and forgot Kevin.
It's A Wonderful Life. I'm surprised there hasn't been a mainstream remake of it (at least that I'm aware of), but it would totally suck if anyone ever tries. The original is a masterpiece.
Lord of the Rings
LOTR has no remake. LOTR needs no remake
People keep complaining about the things that got left out/changed. But do we really think anyone else would do anything like as good of a job if they tried to do it?
LOTR is one of the few (if only) films that everyone I know who read the books, loved the films.
Such an intricately animated and expensive film could have only been made during the 80s bubble economy in Japan, there's just no way they could pull it off now. There'd be CGI everywhere.
I really hate that they’re making movies for a bunch of different animated series and they’re all done in live action.
Scrap the overpriced actors and use that money for some hand drawn magic.
*Casablanca*. Love just hits different today.
I only appreciated Casablanca once I realized that the movie isn't really a love story, or a war story. Rick was a cynical broken man on the path to personal self-destruction at the beginning of the movie, but redeems himself in the end by doing the right thing, sending Ilsa and Laszlo away together, and once again becoming the good person he was before Ilsa's leaving him shattered his life. Casablanca is, among other things, a story about how hard it is to set aside pain and make the necessary sacrifices to be a responsible, moral adult in difficult circumstances. For an actor to pull off that sort of story and connect with the audience is not easy or common, and this is a big part of why it's Bogart's greatest movie.
There was a stunt a few years ago where someone sent the script around Hollywood (under a different title) and then wrote about the responses. Some people recognized it. But the feedback was mostly negative with agents and executives saying there was no chance the script could be made into a movie.
When I finally saw Casablanca I was disappointed - it seems so cliche, because of course it invented all those cliches.
But 'To Have And To Have Not' - now there's a movie
> it seems so cliche, because of course it invented all those cliches.
See the trope ["Seinfeld Is Unfunny"](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SeinfeldIsUnfunny)
Saw someone react to the Titanic scene at the bow of the ship by saying “ugh that’s so cliche.”
Casablanca is my favorite movie, but I saw it first in 1980. I love the character actors from all over Europe (their accents are real). I love that the romance between Rick and Elsa is implied (are they in a sexual relationship?). It is well scripted. The song "As time goes by" is wonderful and no one plays it like Sam.
Prefect of Police: "I am shocked, shocked that gambling is going on in this establishment."
Head of gambling room runs up: "Pardon messieurs, here are your winnings".
All the Indiana Jones movies can't replace Harrison Ford
Any movie that had amazing costumes and practical effects.
The overreliance on CGI and the obsession with cutting costs has led to SO many modern films looking uninspired and boring.
Like, disregarding any political or writing criticisms: just compare the COSTUMING of Cruella DeVil in 1996’s *101 Dalmatians* vs 2021’s *Cruella.*
[The costumes](https://fuckyeahcruelladevil.tumblr.com/post/182695683109/101-dalmatians-1996-glenn-close-as-cruella) are bold and over the top, but still fit the character and are both memorable and detailed. The costumes in Cruella…feel generic in comparison, even when TRYING to be memorable.
There’s other examples—like the MCU being notorious for using way too much CGI. It just makes me sad knowing that companies would rather make bland filler movies than to make something that will LAST.
(Edit, pressed reply too early lmao)
I'd like to point out The Thing prequel, what I hate most about that movie is that they had already made a good bit of the practical effects for the movie, but some dumbass exec said no, let's use some shitty ass CGI even by 2011 standards instead
Well, also Glenn Close vs. Emma Stone. No shade on Emma Stone because she's a solid actress but Glenn Close is just spectacular and a better fit for the role besides. Though I would be curious to see Emma Stone try the role by way of the 1996. They just had more villanous fun in that movie.
Revenge of the nerds. You just can't make that movie today.
Revenge of the Incels: A school massacre
Smokey and the Bandit
Hook, please don't ruin Robbie Williams's movies
not to be confused with member of the band take that Robin Williams:')
On the other hand, it would be interesting to see him going through 80's-present history.
I'm not sure how the Shawshank Redemption would change -- it's set in the 1940s through the 1960s, so the era it was made shouldn't make a difference.
That movie makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2.
"Up yours, n\*\*\*\*\*!"
The sheriff is a n-
He said the sheriff is near!
Where are all the white women at?
What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.
Not getting formal consent before sex.
You mentioned that twice.
I like not getting formal consent before sex.
He said the sheriff was near.
The description of “The Old Number 6” would never fly today.
Any and all. Stop remaking shit.
All of them. Stop remaking movies and come up with new ideas.
Scarface....leave it alone!
Home alone. He would just call the parents on their cellphone and airport security would take long enough for them to notice
All of them.
But I'm especially pissed about Highlander. Original was perfect.
The Godfather...please, no.
I really like how so many ‘older’ movies that are mentioned are from the 90s. Like damn. Is that old now???
My pick is Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I grew up watching that movie and I don’t think I’d ever be satisfied with a remake.