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Swagballing

I usually ignore everyone for a while until I get over whatever is causing me grief, whether that be learning to accept what happens or taking action to stop it. I like my friends/family but they aren't the best to have serious conversations with and I'd probably feel worse afterwards.


instantnoodleking

This is great. It's very hard to talk to someone when they don't understand your pov. And most people are just terrible listeners.


LefterisMi

Some people dont understand you and tend to brush it off as something minor problem and tell you to forget it like its that simple when its not.


Main-Appearance2469

Agreed its mostly cuz they cant change how they look at things. What I mean is when somebody explains something to you , you want to see it from their pov, ur pov and somebody elses pov if you wanna give the best advice basically you have to look at every aspect may it be little or huge


dread1961

I’ve always believed that, contrary to popular belief, on many occasions a problem shared is a problem doubled. You still have the original problem and now you have the guilt of loading it on to someone else.


Siriso13

Also I sometimes get the problem of people trying to help me but aren't helpful whatsoever so ultimately it would have been better to not have told it to anyone


rudraaksh24

Going through something right now and this is exactly what I'm doing. Judging by comments, we're all gonna die of stress induced cardiac arrests, like real men.


Mortaniss

Everytime I have some trouble in life and try to tell my mom, she always finds a way to basically say that it's all my fault that I'm in trouble. Yeah. Never telling her anything about my problems ever again.


Siriso13

Not really the same thing but my parents rarely understand my struggles so I was kinda forced to lie to my moms face when she asked me if I'd tell her if I was really going through something... it feels fucking awful but I cant really tell them about my problems because they would probably get worse rather than better...


accidentalnegligence

I find this completely relatable.


AllTooLate22

I have nobody I could call. I don't have friends, and I haven't been on good terms with my family in many years. I've tried crisis hotlines before, but have had some bad experiences, so I'm reluctant to do that again.


Adeep187

May I ask about the bad crisis hotline experiences?


AllTooLate22

Once, I was told that the life I described simply wasn't worth living, and that it was probably too late for me to do much to change it. I still think about that one every single day. Another time, when I mentioned having no friends, they basically interrogated me on that point, trying to prove me wrong and get me to admit that I did in fact have friends. When I say I have no friends, I mean I literally don't have one.


dicksjshsb

Man fuck that hotline employee that is absolutely ridiculous. And to do that in a role where you help people in crisis what a shitty thing to say. Your life is absolutely worth living even if you don’t have friends. There’s so much for you to do and see! And you can make friends along the way if you want to or just explore life on your own it can be just as enjoyable


ASithLordWannabe

One time I called that suicide hotline. I just needed to get it all out. And the lady on the other end told me that this line was for emergencies only and to go find a support group. I had her fired within 20 minutes of hanging up


Onyxis96

Thank you for doing that. I once called, and was told the EXACT same thing. I felt like it was my fault and that other people had it way worse than me, which I'm sure is true, but my issues were surely valid as well and worth a listening ear. Just thank you for getting her fired. I feel like justice was served in the place of my experience too lol, I was too young to know what to do or what to feel or think. They need to really have people work there who truly care, but that's tough to do.


Adeep187

How old are you? It's basically never too late unless you're about to die or something. And I'm obviously not trying to be inspirational or something lol. I've really changed A LOT of shit. people just think the world works in these very specific steps and certain ages. Interesting their strategy is just assume that you don't actually have these problems, just a bad perception or outlook. Pretty fucking stupid considering their role.


halfmeasures611

some people cant wrap their heads around the fact that not everyones life is like theirs. if they have friends and family, then everyone must. i remember someone refusing to believe i didnt have any family. all i had were parents and both are dead so you tell me wheres this magical family that im not seeing


Adeep187

You would think someone that answers the calls of people that are suffering like that would have some fucking clue that people have different situations.


AllTooLate22

I'm about to turn 39 this week.


Adeep187

My old roommate, that I've known since I was like 12 is 36 now. He completely gave up on women, I think because he's really too scared to get hurt. He had no friends because he just became a loner at some point, used to have a lot. I even stopped hanging out because he was too miserable, he would jus be an asshole to people out in public. His life was literally work, home, sleep early because depression. But he actually started hanging out with some people from work, found a hobby (paintball). The guys seem pretty similar to him. He seems a lot happier now. He also took a promo at work where he wouldn't before literally because he was miserable and jus wanted to work alone in his corner of his department. Bought a house too. And that shit happened only over a few years. Personally... Everything was so bad for so long that I really learned to just appreciate everything for real. Like for example. maybe I buy a soda for a Saturday night while I game and I jus feel excited that I can game and have that. I know its kinda weird lol. But like growing up I didn't even wanna go home so I'd be out in the streets, be gone for a week from when I was like 12, and when I was 18 just having absolutely nothing sleeping on the floor and NO ONE to help me. I did get really depressed for a long time but I made changes. Got a girlfriend and we jus bought a house, my job is good. Shit can change quite drastically in a pretty ahort time man. Sorry if it's jus a bunch of bs ranting lol


Septopuss7

Hey, reading this helped me.


Adeep187

I'm glad :)


fr0st-dev

That’s a pretty interesting story, I liked it.


halfmeasures611

friend im in your boat and im 46 and im still trying to turn it around. will i succeed? probably not. but i still keep tryin


yslblackopium

Love the attitude man


AIC2004

Happy birthday in advance!


AllTooLate22

Thank you.


Pyryn

Then perhaps this is most relevant: https://www.businessinsider.com/24-people-who-became-highly-successful-after-age-40-2015-6 In case you haven't read it. "27 people who became highly successful after age 40." The key thing here though, is thst you don't need to focus on achieving "wild fame and success." The reality is that, at any age, you still have the opportunity to take control and change your life for the better. At any age, 39, 40, 45, 50, 60 (I would expect after 60 it would be a bit harder) - you have the option, every single day, to take control of your life and work to build it for the better. That doesn't mean that it's easy. In fact, it's likely to be a challenge, at the start. Whether you're successful financially and poor socially, or you're successful socially and poor financially, or whether you're **neither,** Every day you wake up, is a chance to change your trajectory. See every day as a new opportunity to make small, but incremental steps to change yourself for the better. Nothing happens overnight, but you would be amazed how drastically your life can change as a result of nothing more than trying to be consciously aware of what your specific goal is, keeping it in mind, and making small changes that slowly move you further in the direction you're seeking. In one year, your entire life could be radically different from what you experience today. ---Considering the impression I get based on your post is that you feel at a loss socially, this is honestly easier to fix. For every person, there are others that will identify with you. Nobody is as distant from others as we may tell ourselves. Nobody. If you make the decision to stay conscientious of your social life, then maybe this might start out with something as simple as having a slightly longer conversation with a barista, or someone in a checkout line (both assuming there isn't a line behind you), or someone random you happen to interact with in your daily experience. This by no means implies that you can expect any of these people to *necessarily* turn into friends, but the simple act of trying to induce yourself into slightly longer conversations about, well - anything, will help get you into the habit of having more social interaction. I'm making a lot of assumptions regarding your social experiences here - without having any knowledge as to what they realistically are, but I'm working off the assumption that you're not doing any of the above. But when you're ready, and you find people that you consistently enjoy talking with, maybe ask if they're interested in hanging out sometime. **You will likely face some rejection.** That's natural, and expected. Not everybody, nor even **most people** you talk to will necessarily be interested in meeting new people beyond brief social interactions. You have to try your hardest to remind yourself that rejection is okay, it doesn't mean anything negative about you. Rejection is part of the process, in finding those people who **are** interested in spending time with you. But when you find a person who you enjoy spending time with, who also enjoys spending time with you, no matter the effort it may have taken to get there - You've found a friend. Most importantly, don't ever, *ever,* feel that it's too late to make a positive change for your life. It may take daily effort; but what starts out as effort, ends up becoming habit. Edit: I'm speaking as a formerly highly-socially-anxious person who always felt weird, or to be "not enough" around other people, who decided that I wasn't okay with that and slowly used the above approach to change my life. I succeeded in doing so, and now have a wonderful group of friends and people close to me in my life that, had I not decided to make a daily effort to work towards it, would have never gained. It took about a year though.


internetfairy_x

For me personally, I had poured my heart out to one. After about 10 minutes, the person on the line said, "Sorry, we've run out of time for this call," followed by being hung up on. It wasn't a bot or anything as she had first greeted me in a very welcoming manor. I was stunned and speechless. It had only been a little over 10 minutes and I had never heard of a time limit. I've never tried one again.


FC56

I'm sorry man. As someone who used to volunteer at a crisis hotline I'm baffled she would just cut you off like that. We're trained to be empathic listeners which means accepting everything the caller is saying and mirroring their emotions. I can't imagine just abruptly cutting someone off like that.


themonsterinmybed

The one time I called, she asked if I was suicidal. I said no, and she promptly told me that I needed to get off the line since it was reserved for people with more serious issues. Terrible logic IMO. Let's allow people to hold in their problems to the point of being suicidal.


linus81

You play any video games or have a discord or something? I’m up for a new friend even if only via online


Waluigi-Time42

If you’ve got no one else, accept an invitation from a random internet stranger. Honestly, without the people in my life, I wouldn’t be here today. If you ever need that person, I’m here. Also, I’ve had some good experiences with crisis hotlines. Better than no one, at least.


WayneDufty

My boss 💯 good mate


throwthegarbageaway

My first job as a salesman I had a super chill boss. I genuinely could come to him for anything and he'd be a friend first and a boss second. What a guy, but he was GREAT with business too.


captainshat

You're lucky Jim Halpert.


TreTrepidation

This is the saddest yet relatable thread I've come across in a long time


Sweets_YT

Same, unfortunately


Top_Air_1640

I am ultimately on my own, I’m 46 and have always been introverted. I live way way out in the country, no social life, no spouse , I don’t even belong on Reddit to be honest.


Slach31

We all belong here


Fuck-a-yoo

No one is below reddit XD


RoninFyre

Anybody can belong on reddit


BeamerBoy0

If im desperate, i always go talk to an old man who sits outside the church in my local area and talk to him about life. We dont really know each other, but he is wise and has very good advice, i dont even know his name, all I know is every Friday at 1:00 hes sitting outside the church talking to his wife who he lost years ago.


melreadreddit

I bet you are being of great help to him, too.


aimeed72

This is very cool, and I’m glad I read it. But man I’m sad I had to scroll this far before I saw any answer besides “nobody.”


[deleted]

Are you Nick from New Girl?


Character_Job_9198

Was looking for this specific comment


MagicBandAid

That's what I was thinking. Sounds like Tran.


Yellowmellowbelly

Bless this old man, he seems great and I think you both need each other or at least make the other person’s life a little easier.


Pestyballs

That's the neat part, I don't. Sucks that every one else goes to me, but then again I don't want them to feel like me


riganmor

Spending your life being a safety net for everyone else just means that when you break there's nothing to stop you hitting the bottom.


Pestyballs

Yep. Then those people come out saying "you could've called/messaged me" when indeed in fact I did but you were "busy and wanted to call back." And forget those 800 crisis bullshit numbers, I've had them hang up on me


TheCrimsonnerGinge

Nobody. There's nobody to go to without it causing serious problems.


Antmon666

Yeah, can't talk about it with anyone. I just have to internally hold it unless I pay for a shrink which I have no money for.


yodium

I feel that man, it always blows up somehow or another.


penisfork69

My cousin. He’s the coolest guy I know.


Bruised_up_whitebelt

No one.


remes1234

Married. 4 kids. Brother and sister. Mom and dad. I dont have the type of relationship where i can confide in any of them. I have tried. It does not work. Awkward silence, subject change, maybe a few platitudes. Embarasment all around. Or sometimes just a 'no' like from my wife. Men mostly just cope. Or get out. An aquantance of my just drove his motorcyle into oncoming traffic last night. Left a wife and two kids in college.


GroseaRCF

Rip to your friend man. That's rough. Stay up


Camelman123

What do you mean by a “no” from your wife ?


zyygh

Not OP here, but I'll go on a hunch and say he means she shuts him down directly or indirectly. I am lucky to have a fiancee who is really open on mental health issues and equality, but this did take some adaptation from her part. The first time I had an emotional breakdown with her, she was dumbstruck and told me she didn't know what to do, as she was uncomfortable with me not being strong and rational. That's the way most people are raised. They expect men to suck it up, and they get annoyed or feel awkward when a man does show emotion.


Halux-fixer

The thing I see with my wife and those around me is they take everything personal so it's their fault we are miserable. This just adds one more problem to our plate and could possibly hurt the relationship for a while so it's easier to internalize it and cope


remes1234

I broke down a bit in front of her in a time of really intense stress, and asked for moral support. She said, "i cant help you with that" and walked away.


EatsPlaydoh

Myself. I text myself or email myself problems I'm facing and give myself time to compose and then respond to the issue.


Sagar-Fuzz

This is interesting, does it help?


JustSomeGuy2153

Man humans really have funky (in a good way) coping mechanisms. One doctor said that as long as you're in control and it doesn't adversely affect your ability to function, you can't call a weird coping mechanism a disorder, no matter how weird it is (refering to a guy who acts like a literal baby (diapers and all) on a strict schedule everyday. He works, has normal relationships, etc.)


scavengecoregalore

I support this! We humans inject random morals into waayy too many things. Then we call it "weird," "cringe" or any other judgy terms, and then *we* hyperfocus on it, dissect it, tweet it, and generally make a fuss about it. Sometimes we regulate it. > as long as you're in control and it doesn't adversely affect your ability to function, you can't call a weird coping mechanism a disorder, no matter how weird it is. [snip] He works, has normal relationships, etc. In the meantime, the person of interest has already finished their anchovy smoothie, risen from their bathtub full of koosh balls, put one more strand in the "hair-o-the-day" jar, and resumed contributing to society. Like, it doesn't even have to be that weird. Just let people have their fashion sense and sleep schedule. Let 'em have some me time to be alone with their hobbies. **Eccentric.** the word I'm looking for is eccentric.


amarghir1234

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.


TheRealBobaFett

Suffer in silence


DarthMagnus88

Cheers Edit: ooof godamn think I lost a couple of years of my life last night.


that_kid_over_there1

I'll drink too that


johnplzza

I'm already drunk to that, boys


AjaIsHere

We are already drunk to that comrads


goatious

This is the way.


IroncladPengwin

This is the way


tenaciousDaniel

Was just thinking, there’s no one I call. I have no concept of leaning on someone else, it’s like it’s just not even in my mental vocabulary.


dreagan021

I usually make a random Reddit post and then when I get shit on enough I delete it. I have no one else


GriffinFlash

I feel that. I tend to vent out my frustrations on Facebook posts or twitter since I have no one I can talk to. Then people either unfollow, block, or just tell yah off. Then you delete the post. Did so once and a "friend" just blasted me for being a miserable depressed loser. Really hurt.


demonickilla

I’ll be honest man those are not the best places to vent at all…


laugh_chaser9

it's the English way


f02f2e6fa0b3

I thought I’d something more to say.


Turbulent_Zombie2434

Just cry while listening to music… I rather keep to myself it’s a lot easier than explaining everything to someone.


Somesigma

For context to people out there, most men learn at a young age that, speaking about negative emotions return negative reactions/results and the opposite person's reaction is rarely proportional to the issue. So life, in some cases, gets easier when you do not talk about them. If I was being hit on at work I wouldn't tell my gf. There would be a good chance she would come out swinging and now the problem is worse and I have to deal with the consequences at home and at work. Individually, I do some 'hate chores' while I think it through. Like, I hate doing the dishes so I'll just begin to angry wash my dishes and I'll be having the argument in my head. I might still be angry after but it is one less frustration seeing a clean sink. A lot of men when supporting each other are just 'present' in the room with a beer. Say your shit and if I was your friend, the words would never be repeated unless you bring it up. Men sometimes just need a confessional. This is all 'within reason'. I ain't letting you rope me into more stupid shit.


Dense-Donkey3642

my cats. i have no one else and sometimes it’s easier to talk to an animal about your shit than to actually talk to someone since no one cares about your shit, just their own.


EfrenYM120

And pets will always love you back unconditionally. Animals are sometimes far better than humans


Dense-Donkey3642

you’re absolutely right. i’ve had one of my cats since i was in middle school, and the other two for about 2-3 years. they’ve always been able to tell a good person from a bad one, and every time my depression gets worse, they always know and never leave my side. i’m autistic as well, so they help me out a lot more than most people when i have a meltdown or get overstimulated. #animals4thewin lol


factory-worker

Jack. Jack Daniels. Sometimes his cousin Jim


cptntyingknotss

And my good ol friend Johnny Walker


14338

Me and my pal Johnny Walker, and his brothers Black and Red….


Shuggy539

My wife. She's my partner, best friend, strongest supporter, harshest critic, I couldn't do this shit without her. Well, I could, I guess, but I'd be drunk all the time.


computerman10367

Don't fuck that shit up.


MercedesSD

Yeah, I'm one of the lucky ones I guess. I have my wife and a friend I can go to. Two whole people!


RexCrimson_

You’re one of the lucky ones. Never let her go. Because most men never get to experience something like this.


hellkite66

Lucky as h*ll. Treasure that


MurderParty_

My old LPO (Lead Petty Officer). He was the E-6 in charge of my work center when I was in the Navy. Even though he’s only 12 years older than me, I looked up to him like a father figure. Maybe more like a big brother cuz I never had one.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tistouuu

Holy fucking shit. I'm so sorry, that's completely unfair.


kabochia

Depending where you live you might be able to sue the fuck out of them. Money ain't friends but it definitely helps.


cspaliwal_

No one. This might sound unreal, but many people don't have anyone to talk to when life hits hard. Parents are judgmental conservatives, mental health is thought of as a joke, comforting someone in distress? How about screaming at them for not being perfect and comparing them to yourself cuz obviously everything is about you Mr. ~~Pep~~ Discouraging talk, Therapy? can't afford it, calling family in hard times? they can't keep their gossipy mouth shut and will go on about how "bad adult" I'm for calling them crying. "Why? What's so bad with crying?", "Little girls do that!!!!!!!!","What's bad with little girls?", "Don't you dare speak in front of me like that!" Conclusion: No one, no one is who we call in hard times cuz apparently we don't matter, we are second class citizen, apparently we don't have right to feel emotions. ~~Be a man, solve your own problems~~ Be a man, die alone in depression.


dorath20

People only care until you're good enough to work again. As long as you earn a wage, no one cares


Little-Drawer-4569

Nobody. They don't want to hear it.


Buttermalk

No one. Nobody cares. And even if they did, we as men know they’re also going through their own shit and wouldn’t want to burden them with my shit too. Edit: I feel like there’s an ironic level to getting a “Wholesome” award for this lol Edit: Silver now. Shiny depression.


Agreeable-Evening432

Couldn’t have said it better.


htotheinzel

Yup, this


AzuSteve

No one.


bubbles2255

My therapist 👍🏻


the_last_peanut

When we are allowed to say that life hits us hard, let me know


thepoxbox

You can, then people tell you to "go work on yourself" or "seek help" which is basically the new way of saying "You and your problems can fuck off, come back when I can get something from you".


krypticmtphr

Yea, this is the best way I've seen it put in a while.


FlysaMinelly

it’s starts with us. if we start now then our children have a better future


TheUltraZeke

No one. But I am the one others call. sucks really.


Keithninety

Answer: nobody. I don’t have anyone to call. I just say “Goddamn fucking bullshit” and try to move on.


BaldGuyLimo

My wife. I have no friends, or any other family.


that_other_goat

I have my dog. There is a reason dogs are mans best friend. To be blunt? I'd not be here if it wasn't for the dogs I've had over the years. The sad fact is most men don't have anyone.


cptntyingknotss

I came here to say the same. When things are tough I got my dog to comfort me. Dogs are great at telling when things aren’t going well also. I have also had experiences where things were going to be “all over”. If my dog hadn’t picked up on that and been there to comfort and support me I don’t think I would of gotten a chance to learn and grow.


-Sylent-

No one. I do not call anyone. The one person I thought I could trust, my exwife, used everything against me in the worst possible way. I was lucky to get out and get sole custody of our kids. I will never, ever give another creature that much access to, or knowledge about myself, to have that done to me again. I will walk the rest of my path alone. It is better that way. No matter how lonely I am. Note: I am 48. I own my home with almost 100 acres of land, zero debt and a solid career with a recent 6 figure job offer. Why would I want to risk any of that just to have someone that may fuck me over again?


BigRedKetoGirl

Sounds like my ex. I told him how I was abused as a kid, and when I asked for a divorce, he said he would tell the judge that I was crazy because I was abused as a kid and everyone knows that kids who are abused grow up to be abusers or let others abuse their kids. He said he would tell the judge I would let random men sleep over and abuse our kids, so I wouldn't get custody. We've been separated now since 2013 and I haven't even had a date with anyone. How do you trust again after that sort of thing?


MajIssuesCaptObvious

So much 100% on this!!! I reached success alone too. Man, it's nice to hear someone tell a story so similar to mine!


InvisibleMe21

No one. I have no one to talk to about my problems (or in general), so i figure stuff out on my own.


Stone-Cold-Advice

Me. I rely on me.


Nothingness_000

No one


Blastin-Ass

I felt this. *its ok. I get ya.*


Optimus_Prime_Day

No one, I just suffer in silence and try to keep my mask on.


mr_derpinstein

Nobody I just swallow my emotions and keep on keeping on.


[deleted]

It's amazing how many guys feel "I can't do anything. I have to just deal with it." What's even more amazing is how many people respond with "you should be free to say what you want to whomever." But the real problem is this: *both of those things are true.* Yes, I should be able to complain and vent about my problems. What I'm dealing with. But the very same guys and girls who say that are ill prepared to listen. Whenever I share my problems, people just respond with some sort of "that sucks, bro." Because I guarantee you that even the most tight-lipped, emotion repressing man has tried this. He will start out with something small to just see how people respond. Test the waters. And the lack of any meaningful response is counteracted by him repressing even more. None of this is the fault of any friend he may have tried to vent to. They don't know how to respond. But as soon as he shared a relatively small problem and was met with "oh that sucks. Anyway, did you see what happened to..." he learned that he was right. He learned no one cared, at least not enough to hear him out. Or they just don't expect to have to so they move on from what he said. And that just reiterates to him the fact: Guys have to shut up and deal with it. Even the most well-meaning of friends has quite likely reinforced that lesson.


BigBobbert

I’d say there’s nothing wrong with “That sucks, bro.” If we don’t see an easy answer, our friends probably won’t either. But as long as they acknowledge that our feelings are valid, then they’ve done what they’re able to. I recently chatted with a friend about a heartbreak I had. We talked for about 10 minutes, then just spent the next hour talking about other stuff. And I appreciated him for it.


DyleanCuisine

No one. I chug through until it gets better.


Ceramic_Avatar221

I have nobody


Bartheda

Why would you even ask this? You know full damn well like 90% of us have no one to go to and have to shoulder the damn burden. Yeah I'll just talk to my wife about it so I can spend the next 2 hours getting yelled at about how much worse she has it and being asked why I'm "always grumpy".


LJMele

This is the true reality right here


0-768457

I really hope your wife can learn some compassion. Her ‘communication’ honestly sounds abusive


Decent-End-168

Literally no one. I just roll up and figure out how to deal with.


ml1087

My mother


McCoy1414

My mom. After reading all these replies, I'm so glad that I have her.


eatshoney

I had to scroll so far to see this reply! I opened the thread hoping "mom" would be close to the top because I love my sons so much but instead I scrolled and scrolled with an increasingly heavy heart. I feel pretty confident that as they become adults I will continue to be a source of comfort for them but I'd like them to have friends that have the same support too.


MajIssuesCaptObvious

Shiiiiiit!! I tried going to my mom with my problems when I was a kid. She chastised me, shamed me, or told me she didn't believe me. Mom is the last person I'd fucking talk to.


AccountOfMyDarkside

I hope you'll tell her that. It's probably the best compliment you could ever give her.


WiseBoy_Level100

Therapist. I don't have any friends and my family doesn't know how to support, or they just don't show interest in doing so.


TimeCookie8361

Lol I've done that thing where life is shit and I try to let my friends know. 15+ years of friendship with these people and no matter what the story was from me, it was met with a 'dammmnnn my dude' and that was always the end of it. So final answer, no one.


PapaDuggy

My car and the open road are my support group. Jeez, that sounded edgy, but it is the God's honest truth...


Whatacheaptentshow

No one


CinderblockChewer

Nobody. There's nobody I'm comfortable talking to, or crying in front of, or anything like that. So I just stop talking to people when things get bad.


Tamotoad

The same people who care, NO ONE!


Taste_the__Rainbow

One time I screamed in the woods for about half an hour.


FrankieBigNut

Whoever you can be the most you with


emueller5251

My good friend Jack Daniels. I'm just kidding, of course. >!I'd never drink Jack, I prefer Knob Creek or Maker's Mark.!<


demon_cairax

I talk to my good friend Tito. He and his vodka are always listening


MrWubbaLubbaDubDub

Gotta do it yourself, no ones gonna help u. It is what it is


dragon_book_hoarder

My best friend. My SO. My mom. Other friends. My best friends mom. There's a cousin or two I could turn to if I needed to.


Hot_soup_in_my_ass

you are a lucky man


Spaghettitrees

There's not enough answers like this, I didn't realise that we are so lucky ☹️


Listen-bitch

Same... This thread is fucking depressing. I didn't know it was this bad out there.


Overrated_22

Reading all of these replies I can relate to that feeling of being alone. It strikes me as tragic that we first need to get addicted to drugs and alcohol before we are able to build a rich community of people who all care about each other and communicate with each other all the time. We need to do soMe thing about that


Quantity_Lanky

No one and that's fine. I'm not under the false illusion that I'm an indestructible tower filled with power, I'm as fragile as the next guy, but the one thing you need to come to terms with in life is that ultimately your healthy mental state is up to you and you alone (if you're not mentally disadvantaged). No matter how close you may be with some people in your life the ultimate inner confidence that will bring solutions to your problems is within yourself only. Find it and move on.


db1095

We’re supposed to have somebody to call? Yikes


drklunk

usually and very often: no one. resort to bar stools and blunts, which helps, and then wake up the next day to take the problems head on. I have gone to therapy in the past when depression had me not able to eat for about a week, couldnt even suck down a beer or burn one, just idly laid around paralyzed by the darkness encompassing my mind. during therapy I cried just about every session. it was exercise that broke me free. so now, if things really get bad, I still have that option and hope anyone reading this can realize that too. therapy works and if the fee is gonna keep you from killing yourself or falling into a cycle of addiction its 100% worth it stay strong my dudes, nothing is easy, so dont lose your mind thinking you gotta go it alone


TREEESSSSS

Nobody


CodeyABR

I choose to remain silent, it seems that every time I've brought up my internal problems it leads to judgment, ammo against me, or they turn it around to be about themselves. I've dealt with it for years so I'm quite accustomed to it but sometimes it is lonely.


Cuss-Mustard

Absolutely nobody, like most men


AnalStaircase33

Not really one to want to talk with others when shit hits the fan. I prefer going on a drive or getting outdoors for a walk/hike/backpacking trip.


Tistouuu

No one.


matt143450

I'm an only child. My parents died. I was married, she came to her senses, and left. I just.. take the punches.


SnooHesitations2928

🎵I ain't got nobody.🎵


Asparagus_i_like_it

Nobody


StoneFenrir

Typically no one. I’ve always thought about it like throwing up on someone. You might feel better, but you really didn’t help the person you unloaded on. You never know what they’re going through as well.


Sagar-Fuzz

It’s not a burden to hear what my friends are going through, it’s definitely not like being thrown up on! I would never want my friends to be suffering alone, that would break me. I’d much rather we talk and listen to each other. Then you do know what someone is going through, because you share. Sharing is not vomiting.


ClemClem510

That's correct, and by saying that you uncover a very relevant thing, and that's how talking about your struggles, like any other way of communicating, has to go both ways, and requires a specific set of social skills. I've been a designated "here if you need to talk" guy for many people in the past, mostly older than me. It's crazy the number of men who struggle to treat this as a discussion and have a hard time actually listening as well. Many feel guilty because in the end, their only tool is dumping everything in a very one-directional way, without ever genuinely opening up. I'm confident I actually lost the opportunity for many friendships because these guys couldn't actually reach a healthy bonding relationship. They just didn't know how to. So many people are as poorly equipped to manage their baggage as they are to be there for people going through similar stuff. It's heartbreaking.


PeterLemonjellow

That would have been my dad. He died at the beginning of March. The next time life gets tough, it's gonna get extra tough.


OneFuckedWarthog

Nobody.


AlienAmbassadorNoQ1

No one man. I choose to be alone on these situations.


thatoneguywhofucks

Who do we what?


fappyday

As a man, you're expected to be the rock in the storm all the times. When the seas rise and the squall batters you mercilessly, you either pull through or drown. I'm drowning and I don't have anyone to call anymore. Good luck to the rest of you.


AnArdentAtavism

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!🤣🤣🤣 Most of us don't have anyone to "call." We either suck it up or suck on the muzzle of a pistol.


SonnyULTRA

No one, I feel very alone sometimes.


90s_Baby_Logic

Nobody… we’re men 🤷‍♂️


jamessavik

When you get to a certain age, the family is gone and so are (most) the friends. You've got no one to call. It's all on you. That's when you find out what you are made of.


Evilmatrix_187

I call my weed man honestly


Im_a_Dinosaurus

Before I started dating my gf, no one. While we have been dating its been her but as of rn our lives are going in different directions and neither of us want to go distanced it looks like I shall be going back to having to tank it alone at summer's end.


ExplosiveDisassembly

Step 1: Pinch nose bridge, hang head, *sigh* Bonus step: Make sure to speak to no one about it Step 2: Take a bath Step 3: Call mom the next day to not talk about what happened. Step 4: Realize it's not as bad as you thought. So, pretty much the same protocol of stubbing your pinkie toe.


AnswerNeither

Nobody to call ofc. Whatever happens to a man is just kinda funny. Better not show any emotion either or your girl will leave you


ringoron9

Usually just my best friend. But sometimes when I'm really low I don't want to bother anyone with that and I just sink into myself and drink. Lucky it only happens a few times a year.


GenericUsername19892

Jack Daniels and his buddy Jose


BeefaeSquid

I don't really tell anyone. I mean, I try to keep myself in a "it's in the past" sorta mindset. I just kinda hold it in until that one night every month when I just go to my room and realize that I'll have to wait it out, then I cry, and cry, and cry. Wait never mind I remembered that my cat listens 👍👍👍


CuriousPotato7

nobody, i just bottle it up for years or months then one day start crying for a couple hours. Then the cycle repeats, i just dont want to unload my problems onto someone else.


goatious

You guys call people?


SeasonsRollOnBy

I’ve got no one.


Grandmafelloutofbed

The fact this needed a serious tag, says it all really. But to mirror almost every man in this thread, no one. Especially women. Ive noticed that women will say they want a man to be open and emotional, but there seems to be a line that you arent allowed to cross, and if you do, shes lost all attraction to you.


bothsidesofthemoon

>The fact this needed a serious tag, says it all really. That's just so we didn't all say Ghostbusters.


1clovett

My wife.


Tunto_Bungus

This was the first thing that popped in my head too, but man seeing peoples responses to this post is brutal. Makes me very appreciative to have the situation I do.


LeeroyTC

I honestly don't know why you'd marry someone you don't feel turning to in your time of need. That's one of the primary roles of a spouse.


ClemClem510

Many of these commenters probably don't have a spouse to begin with. Online forums like reddit are replete with lonely men who also struggle with romantic relationships. Edit: just scrolled down a smidge and there was a pretty upvoted comment saying "women say they want emotionally open men, but they really want to be praised, hear positive things and never hear you complain". Says a lot.


Urbanfalcon756

No one really I just accept the reality of life's challenges and move forward.


sd882001

Life has hardened me so, no words from others will make me feel better. Keep it to myself. Occasionally, will vent by writing it out.


danieledward_h

No one. It's not that I think men shouldn't, I'm supportive of men talking about their problems. But I don't find it therapeutic, I don't feel any better when I talk about things, nothing in my life changes. If anything, I just withdraw and try to take time to regain my composure and recharge.


SeaDog874

Noone.