Personal choice, are you interested?

Is that an amulet of Mara? Oh, interested in me, are you?

What I’d give for a world where I meet a perfect guy and instantly get married because I wore the right necklace.

I read a story that a guy proposed by giving his gf an amulet of Mara, then said the line when she put it on.. it would be awesome to propose like that one day..

That’s awesome! Please do this if you find a fellow Skyrim player to marry.

I absolutely will, if I manage to find a true daughter of Skyrim to date of course

Oh, you found one right here.

Please get married.

Loading wedding scene.....

Shit, mod order is wrong. Priest has fruity pebbles face.

Dangerous advice. I've only been asked by women I wasn't interested in.

Go full on Cher from Clueless: "you see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet!"

You too can get a man who only wants to go on your feet!

I had one of the groomsmen in the wedding I was in last year ask me that question, after I told him I wasn’t in a rush, his buddy behind him reminded him that he was thrice divorced Edit: did NOT expect this many upvotes and for context I’m 26 M and he was in his late 30’s

In that case, the proper response is: "Why are YOU single again?"

Better yet: “i forget, are you single or still married?”

"sorry I missed your wedding, Ill go to your next one"

> he was thrice divorced Was he also thirty-five years old and lived in a VAN.... DOWN BY THE RIVER?!

Today, 'A Van Down By The River' is a life goal. See: VanLife. My, how times have changed...RIP Chris Farley.

I’m always so amused to see that the people who most readily give out relationship advice are always the ones with train wrecks of a love life. For example I keep getting “advice” from my aunt who is in her 60’s and never had a boyfriend longer than a couple years about what me and my partner of 8+ years should do. Yeah I think I’ll go ahead and ignore that thanks, we seem to be doing just fine! I just don’t give advice (especially about relationships) unless asked. You’re single? Cool. You like a new partner every month? Cool. Never want one? Cool. Have a question I feel I can answer? Cool. Don’t? Also cool.

Good lord I couldn’t even imagine 3 divorces. I had only 1 and it was enough for me to avoid marriage for the duration. I refuse to be that pathetic guy saying “well my 2nd ex-wife yadda yadda”. Life is SOOO much better/simpler/drama-free now that I’m single. It would take one hell of a woman to pull me from this situation.

This is exactly how I feel rn. The responsibility of a relationship is not appealing when you have the peace of being single.

ROSS?!?!

Best one I've heard lately: "Supply-chain issues."

I like the classic “because the odds here are good, but the goods here are odd.”

Alaska? (Edited to add: I only say this because I heard the expression from an Alaskan, talking about Alaska.)

Ha, close. Northern BC.

I was going to guess the engineering faculty.

Any engineering college ever - regardless of orientation.

It can go on my long list of "great shortages". "Ah yes, we're in the middle of the Great Boyfriend/Girlfriend shortage."

My getting a SO is also dependent on the availability of high-quality microchips.

I didn't know waifu pillows contained electronics??

I should start using this one, so I thank you good sir

Thats great. I was thinking “all my fiancé’s keep dying.”

LOL you win

I am single by choice... Their choice but still.

This sounds really familiar, what show used it?

I remember it in the Nanny, when someone (Max's mother?) asks C.C if she's single by choice and Niles says "Yes, but not hers".

Procrastination

I have the social skills of a spoon

But with two spoons I can make music!

but there is only one spoon, one sad lonely spoon...

*clone it*

I feel like your telling me to go fuck myself. FYI I'm way ahead of you.

clone yourself, then fuck your clone.

Don't exaggerate your social skills. People like to put spoons in their mouth.

Others enjoy spooning.

So the dish ran AWAY from the spoon 🤔

In France we say, "Mieux vaut être seul que mal accompagné" which means "Better alone than in bad company"

We have the same in Spanish! "mejor solo que mal acompañado"

In Italian it sounds "meglio soli che male accompagnati" :)

In New Jersey we say “F*ck you, asshole!”

In New York we say “fuck you you fucking fuck”

In Canada we say "I don't know, eh? Sorry!"

In greece we dont say anything,our family does it for us

In portuguese: "Melhor sozinho do que mal acompanhado."

If French, Spanish, and Italian have the same phrase, it probably came from Latin.

Yep, we have it in portuguese as well

In English, it’s “better alone than in bad company.” Crazy how the world and languages work.

¡Me gusta como suena en español!

Más vale cholo que mal acompañado

Spent 4 years single for this reason, a previous partner that was... well, we'll just go with "awful", ha ha. I'm now with an outstanding partner, but I don't know if I would have even been in the correct headspace to see that compatibility if I didn't spend that time with myself and being happy with myself.

Sometime when a toxic relationship ends, it is a good step for introspection to find out the bases of a good relation! Glad you found your soulmate :)

Yep. There's nothing quite like being in a bad relationship to make you realize that there are, in fact, far worse alternatives to being alone. Also, as a woman who didn't meet her life partner until age 30, to the chagrin of many people around me, all I can say is it was well worth the wait!

Yes. Being lonely in a relationship is way worse than alone.

I wish more people realized that. Everyone looks at me weird when I say I’m happy single

Yeah, there's a whole *world* between being alone and being lonely. Being alone - single - I've never been as lonely as in bad relationships.

can we turn this idea round and not make it out like being single is the worst thing ever? How about, being in a bad relationship is horrible, being single is an alternative that's leagues better.

I agree with this! I'll be 40 next month and have been single now for 3 years with absolutely no desire to ever be in another relationship again. My last one was enough to turn me off of them for good. Since I've been single I've been having the time of my life with no one to drag me down.

Yup, that’s how I feel. Even a good partner would come with downsides. I really do enjoy being single. I’m not religious, or shy, or lonely, or some other ridiculous “reason” people assign to single hood. I just enjoy doing what I want, when I want.

I'll turn 40 soon still haven't found it, my bad luck of living on an isle and in the countryside, pretty hard to find my other half... so I stick to the saying lol

My son is getting married for the 1st time in September. He will be 40. His fiance will be 40 then too, and it's her first marriage. Finding a life partner can happen at any age.

We say the same in Italian: "meglio soli che mal accompagnati."

Hahaah omg my mom says the very similar phrase "лучше будь один чем вместе с кем попало" better be alone than with any random person

Just lucky, I guess!

This is a really good one.

Pretty sure he's referencing this scene from Destination Wedding. Good movie if you like a rom-com with a VERY dry wit about anti-social people. https://youtu.be/RlviJLvx6EU?t=75

I really enjoyed this movie. It's one of the few rom-coms that I could connect with - two grumpy, older, single people going to a wedding they have no real stake in and finding each other. The writing is witty and the acting low-key.

OMG! I was coming here to say that. My go-to line...

My response last time was "How are you *not*?"

With most couples I see, I ask myself that question. It makes no sense to me how certain people have partners. It makes no sense to me how certain couples are together.

Fear of being alone combined with financial pressure for housing and social expectations? Wager that's gotta make up some chunk of relationships.

Hobosexuality is a thing. In case it isn't obvious: People who stay in a relationship for the free housing.

That’s my ex! I’m using this one. Apparently she’s wanting to leave her new beaux but has no money and won’t go to work so is stuck living with him. Poor helpless woman-child

"Because my goal isn't to be in a relationship, it's to be in the *right* relationship."

This is literally the exact thing I keep telling everyone

"So I know someone who's in your age range and also still single......"

Oeh that's a good one

Who the fuck are you? Get the hell out of my house!

WHY ARE YOU NAKED? WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?

BECAUSE I’M A DOG AND SMELT BACON!

Your mom says she wants no strings attached

Fuck you, Shoresy!

Fuck you, ZombieChief! Your life’s so fucking pathetic, I ran a charity 15k to raise awareness for it.

Fuck you, BigDumbDope. Your mom just liked my Instagram post from two years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I'll put my swim trunks on for her anytime.

Fuck you, thewhimsicalbard, your mom ugly cried because she left the lens cap on the camcorder last night.

Fucking amateur hour

Titfucker.

Give your balls a tug!

Fuck you, u/BigDumbDope, your mom tried to put a finger in my butt, but I told her I only let u/thewhimsicalbard ‘s mom do that.

Fuck your entire life u/ZombieChief! Tell your mom to top up my prepaid so I can get some KFC!

Give your Balls a tug

DID U SEE THEY GAVE HIM HIS OWN SHOW? FUCKIN SHORESY

Fuck you ZombieChief. yer mom shot cum across my room and killed my siamese fighting fish, threw off the PH balance ya piece of shit.

Thanksgivings must be fun for you.

So that you don’t feel left out.

Are you blind Look at me

One of the perks of being ugly is that no one ever asks why I'm single ha

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That ‘ha’. I can feel the weight if it.

The voices in my head tend to get jealous very easily

should probably go with this one

"Because I'm not looking for a partner right now."

I wish people would just leave it at this. I came out of a 7 year relationship to find myself the full time single parent of a 4 year old. It's been a decade now haven't been in a relationship since. People don't accept that I'm happy. I have my kid, our dog and a cat. Sure it's not a normal "whole" family but it's ours and we are all good. Why try to inject some stranger into it?

> Sure it's not a normal "whole" family but it's ours and we are all good Better "abnormal" and healthy than "normal" and unhealthy! Trust me...

Same but 6 years and two kids.... it's been 3 years and I'm finding myself again and trying to be happy and get my priorities straight. I really don't need, or want a partner.

My wife passed away 15 months ago. We were together 24 years. Idk but the thought of getting back out there seems really awkward to me. I wouldn't even know where to begin to tell you the truth.

So sorry for your loss. All the best.

I answer back with "would you marry me ?" Work on both men and women.

And then propose to them

Problem is I get this most from family 😑

Pretty much, I’m having enough trouble w my life, not gonna both deal w someone else’s shit or make my own shit someone else’s problem

I've felt this way for a bit now, I have goals I'd like to accomplish before getting into another serious relationship. I'd like to look at myself and be proud of the work I've put in.

Because my dating pool is significantly smaller than yours, Samantha

This was my reason for so many years. It's hard to date when you're outside of a place's main singles demographic. Add to that being in the boonies in general where the average age of marriage seems to be younger than you are already. Combine the two and you're looking at a very shallow dating pool. Looking back, I'm surprised I racked up as many dates as I did back then, but 99% of them went nowhere past that first date.

Right? Like I'm mid-twenties. When I spend much time in my hometown I'm...weirdly popular with the girls at my parents' church. Like noticeable attention from the 18-21 girls who didn't go to college, and a few teens have a crush on me--which I find equal parts uncomfortable and hilarious. It's strange since I'm nothing special where I actually live, but I'm pretty sure I could be always dating somebody if I lived in the middle of rural nowhere.

I witnessed this exact same thing with a friend of mine. He went to college in a different state and every single time he came home, he would get a lot of attention from the local women. This was something that never happened to him in high school. Then he would go back to school and be nothing special again. I could never understand it.

Goddamnit Samantha.

Samantha and Rachel

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Because making an album is too much work.

Is an EP basically the FWB equivalent?

I’d rather be single than pretend to be happy in a fake relationship.

“Because I look like a seal on crystal meth”

i am also too ugly for other humans to notice me.

Don't worry, I notice you. ### Hey everyone, check out the ugly on this guy!

Thanks bro, feels good to be seen sometimes 🥲👍

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I think she calls it a schedule

"My mom's dead." Well duh, do you think a living person would agree to sex with a guy like me?

Because you're taken

This could go either way depending on the person

Well if it gets them to leave me alone.

Dad: The fuck's gotten into you BOI?

When my sister got married, my niece, 17, asked me, "How does it feel to be the only one of your siblings not married?" I simply replied, "Well, unlike them I have standards." Her father, my brother, was right there :)

Ha! I've used this one on the family too. I've also used "I've learned a few things from all the toxic relationships, failing marriages, and divorces you guys keep jumping into" ...usually gets them off the subject pretty quickly.

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Daniel Sloss did a special that had a big section on this (Jigsaw - on Netflix) which is great. Talks about how you should love yourself instead of looking for someone else to love you to fill that place and accidentally ended up being responsible for "over 120 thousand break-ups, over 300 divorces and hundreds more cancelled engagements."

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Watched it with my mum once. Was very relieved when she laughed along with it (particularly when he said if you're not laughing, might be time to take a look at your relationship lol).

The way he says it to kills me every time. "All I'm saying is if you're finding it hard to laugh at this routine, deep down you don't love the person you're with" The man's delivery of this line is perfect lol

This. I very much rather being happy by myself than being miserable (or just blah) with someone else.

People at my job don’t get this. Currently alone in a trip, and everyone freaked out. Like why go alone? Because I’m awesome and I like to be alone. Road trip later this year with a friend and it’s slightly less exciting than if I was going alone

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I find this fascinating. I’m alone *because* I don’t like myself, and don’t want to put that burden on someone else knowing it would harm the relationship. It’s hard to imagine being in a relationship in this state.

Because I learn from my mistakes

No one asks "why aren't you single?"

Well not directly to the person

...clearly y'all don't work in food service. We ask about everyone in a relationship with disbelief about 70% of the time. But the answer is usually to get laid and because they don't like being alone.

I just hate people.

“I’ve got a jar of dirt, I’ve got a jar of dirt, I’ve got a jar of dirt”

You're a cruel man, Jack SPARRA!

CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow

“Why do you care?”

let me help you there WHY DO YOU CARE ??!!!

Why do *you* care? ;)

This reminds of an etiquette column I read once. Instead of “why do you care?” you can answer them with the question “why do you ask?” It knocks the discomfort back into their court.

"Because you're not getting any younger or hotter, that's for sure."

„What do you think?“ It’s like the uno reverse card, they asked a potentially uncomfortable question now they gotta answer it themselves.

Depending on who asked you, the conversation could turn quite depressing

True, but depending on who asked it might also be pretty interesting and an opportunity to self-reflect

no one can handle my personality for that long

Because I have a reddit account

All the men where I live want kids! I do not.

My fiance' died in April 2020

I hope you are going to be okay.

To tolerate me would require a skill level not yet reached by any mortal being.

"Why are you being nosy?"

"And happy" is one of the best response you can give!

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Because having another adult who has any say in the course of my adult life is obnoxious 🤣😅

well my ex husband tried to keep me from reporting my boss sexual harrassing me even though it was ongoing and made it impossible for me to work and keep sane. so.. i left him. then reported my boss, then was suddenly "laid-off", lawyered up, and now i'm single and living off the settlement money. and now i'm doing creative stuff and will never return to corporate america. idk. sometimes life is weird! but yeah don't let someone keep you from living your life the way you deem fit.

*"Would you like to see my funko collection?"* ​ ​ ​ ^(:'D)

‘Why? You wanna be with me?’

Because my dicks too big

wish i could relate

I'm just waiting to have a good connection with someone that I like. Not looking for "the one" but just for it to be fun for both of us

Because no one who says ‘anybody would be lucky to have you’ really means it

*I have sworn an oath that my line must end with me*

“Why are you such a twat?”

Everyone else's relationships have shown me that there's worse things than being single.

I think the best response is "because I am prioritising my mental health right now" and it being true.

Because I love pringles

I value my freedom too much.

I have extremely high and unrealistic standards

Because a partner would take away from ME time.

Mass Effect? Fair enough

Because I like being sane

Because there are so many people like you.

Single and living a good life man