Rodney Dangerfield. It's what he would have wanted.


I went to the doctor he said "you have cancer" I said I want a second opinion he said "ok you're ugly too."


I went to the doctor, I said, " Doctor, every morning when I look in the mirror, I get headaches, feeling faint, and I want to throw up, what's wrong with me?" Doctor would say" I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."


I know I have a drinking problem. Once my doctor asked for a urine sample so I gave him one. There was an olive in it! Runs in the family. My dad once saw an ad in the paper that said “Drink Canada Dry,” so he went up there. But I’m doing better, I joined alcoholics anonymous. I still drink but I use a different name.


"My family took a vacation to the beach. My dad gave the lifeguard $5 to keep his eyes off of me."


My mother had morning sickness after I was born.


i'm so ugly my dog's gotta close his eyes just to hump my leg


The other night this girl calls me up, says "come over, there's no one home" I went over, there was no one home.


My doctor Vinny Gumbah gave me six weeks to live. I told him I couldn't pay the bill, he gave me another six weeks.


I asked my father if he’d take me ice skating on the lake he said “Yeah when it warms up”. No respect I tell ya


Last week I took my wife to a dog show. She won top prize.


My father told me I had to start at the bottom and work my way up. He was teaching me to swim!


My wife wants sex in the back of the car, and she wants me to drive.


My wife, oh my wife, she is very loud in bed, you know. Sometimes I can hear her from two blocks away.


Before I met my wife I was incomplete. Now I'm finished.


My fan club broke up. The guy died!


His wife liked to talk after sex. That’s why she would always call him from her hotel room.


He and his wife made a deal about smoking. They could only smoke after sex. He's had the same pack since 1975!


And she's up to two packs a day.


I tell ya, the neighborhood I grew up in was rough, real rough: we played hopscotch with real scotch. I asked a kid what came after a sentence, he said, "an appeal"


My wife gives me no respect, no respect I tell you. She told me I'm a two bagger. During sex, she wears a bag over her head in case the bag over my head breaks.


My mother never breastfed me. She told me she only liked me as a friend


A girl phoned me and said, “Come on over. There’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home!


You think that's bad? The other night I felt like having a few drinks. I said to the bartender, ‘Surprise me.’ He showed me a naked picture of my wife!


My mother used to put porkchops in my bib so the dog would play with me.


He and his wife were happy for 20 years. Then they met.


Rodney had an terrible childhood filled with neglect and abuse. It's a wonder he turned out as well as he did. Here he is on [The Tonight Show with Johny Carson](https://youtu.be/MecU2keW54I)


A lot of comedians have mental health/trauma histories.


RIP Mitch Hedberg


My wife’s cooking is so bad, the flies chipped in to fix the screen door.


Let me tell you I was poor growing up. If I wasn't born a boy I'd would of have nothing to play with.


These wise guy's I tell ya, check into a hotel I tell the bell hop to grab my bag he starts feelin up my wife. I said buddy who told you you could fool around with my wife? He said everyone.


I was back in town, I hailed a cab. I told the driver take me to a place that has lots of action, he took me to my house.


There was a custody fight over me. No one showed up.


When he was born, neither of his parents bothered to show up to the hospital. He gets no respect.


My wife worships me tho. Every night at dinner she presents me with burnt offerings.


No respect I tell ya.


(* adjusts tie *)


I didn’t expect it, it’s perfect


I'm still sore at Warren Harding and the Teapot Dome scandal.


Don’t forget Nan Britton!


His entire Cabinet seemed to be on the take!


R Kelly...


The more I read about him the worse it gets. I found out the other day that he married Aaliyah when she was like 15. Apparently JayZ was also interested in her too. Gross gross gross


Did you get to the part where he forced her to marry him bc they thought she might be pregnant, and he believed being married would protect him under the "spouse can't testify against a spouse" loophole? Scumbag...




Yeah, and to think she survived all that only to die in a plane crash because her manager skimped on the charter flight with a pilot who didn't even have a valid commercial pilot's license. Forged the shit out of his log books to get the job.


“They can’t jail a married couple for the same crime….”


Best worst lawyer ever


I have the worst f*[email protected] attorneys


The deeper you look into it the worst it gets (there’s a friggin 13y/o on vhs getting a golden shower) the fact that so many knew but coz he was still a big star they chose to ignore it just goes to show how times were. Songs he wrote like age ain’t nothing but a number for Aaliyah just don’t bang the same along with bump and grind “my minds telling me noooo, but my body, my body telling me yes. I don’t want to hurt nobody but there is something I must confess etc etc”. I’m the greatest and I believe I can fly literally poof up in smoke the magic is gone…


I really hesitate to use "the times" as any sort of excuse though, bc that somewhat dismisses the sketchy shit that STILL happens TODAY unfortunately. Hopefully the "me too" era has somewhat changed that... At least the perception of SA survivors is a little better now. For so long, especially around big celebs, the girls didn't want to say anything because *they* would be blamed and slut shamed, nevermind all the grooming 🤮 At least he's being punished for it now (even though it was so long ago now). Just think of all the sketchy shit big artists from the 70s and 80s did and essentially had no consequences at all.


Yeah. And R. Kelly produced her first record... "Age Ain't Nothing But A Number". *vomits*


Why would you lump Jay Z and R Kelly together like that? Kelly started in on her when she was like 12. She was in her 20s when she was hanging out with Jay...unless I'm missing something. Not the same thing at all.


Wendy Williams she’s nothing more than a high school bully with a talk show


This is my answer, but because of the [Method Man situation.](https://youtu.be/du1UViOs4Hk) IIRC family members of the wife didn’t even know she was sick (based on her wishes of not wanting to share) and Wendy knew that, but did this anyway.


Wow after watching this interview I have some new founded respect Method Man! What a legend.


Wendy Williams: “Drew Carey’s former fiancée died by ~~falling off~~ being pushed off a balcony while trying to run away from her stalker. AIN’T THAT FUNNY FOLKS?”


I don't want to seem pedantic but she didn't just fall off a balcony, her ex Gareth Pursehouse strangled her and threw her off the balcony of her 3rd floor apartment. Her name was Amie Harwick. Just wanted to clarify that because I don't want people to think it was an accident, she was murdered. He was charged with murder, burglary and "lying in wait" which means he was waiting in her apartment with the intent to kill her.


Shit, that’s even worse. I edited my comment.


She also quipped "come on down....." just unbelievably tone deaf


After she said that line, dead silence from the audience. Never liked her before or since that remark.


I really don't understand how she has fans or a job as an on-air personality.


U seen that shit where shes saying how attractive a domestic abuser was?


I definitely saw a video of Wendy Williams farting on live


Windy Williams


God I hate her so much. And the fact she has the audacity to act like a victim because people point out her lazy eye like come tf on


She also had the audacity to ask people for "privacy" while she was going through her divorce. Nah bitch, how YOU doin?


The sexual predator kind. You know, like R Kelly, Roman Polanski, Harvey Weinstein, Woody Allen, Jeffery Epstein and co.


Also anyone who is a proven abuser (I’m looking at you, Chris Brown).


And Bill Cosby.


This one hurt. Really hurt. Dude was my childhood. I didn't want to believe for a really long time. But fuck.


Agreed. My father was especially upset at the allegations against Cosby initially. “How could they do this to America’s Dad!“ he would exclaim. He just got quiet about it after the facts became overwhelming. I had always been suspicious of Crosby as I had an acquaintance who had encountered him personally and said he was horrible. My sister also encountered Dr.Phil’s wife when she worked in the spa at the Ritz Carlton in the Caymans and said that she was awful too.


I'm not surprised at all with Dr Phil's wife.


I agree. I grew up in a severely abusive home with a crazy abusive “father”. I used to watch The Cosby Show and imagine him as my dad. He was funny, loving and just this amazing fantasy dad I made up for myself. When I found out he was a monster I was just sick. Felt like all men in my life were a lie 😞.


Has anyone mentioned Kevin Spacey yet. I was so disappointed.


Yea. We were just watching a movie with him in it today and talked about what a good actor he was and how it sucked that he turned out to be a predator


The level of predator he turned out to be was shocking. Thecstory of how he groomed Aaron Carter and his student back in the day when he was a teacher was crazy.


Noone ever mentions drake on these. Guy is a predator.


Drake the rapper and also Drake Bell Oh and MGK


Don’t forget Dan Schneider.


Chevy Chase. If John Candy of all people holds you in a headlock for 2 hours, to calm you down. You’ve gotta be a major asshole.


funny thing is the two guys who were best at dealing with im, even gave up on him. Steve Martin and martin short, two of the nicest people ever, both finally just say screw em, there had been plans to do a three amigos on broadway show, but instead, nope, they have gone on to do numerous shows on broadway just the two of them, even their own series, one person on of their Broadway show's asked about chevy and steve martin said" chevy who?" which says something.


“Oh, I thought you were talking about the other Chevy…”


Bill Murray once said that everyone is an asshole for a small period when they become famous but for some reason with Chevy it was permanent


And John Belushi punched him in the face,so there's that.


Bill Murray too, when Chase came back to host SNL


Creators and actors from the community weren’t too fond of him either lol


Well, some were able to maintain an uneasy peace, at least. ...Mainly Joel McHale, who appears to basically have the temperament of someone born to be a professional diplomat. His default mode seems to be 'let's all get along'. Am yet to see him even say anything bad about anyone...


He said something about him recently on a podcast that I can’t for the life of me remember right now, he didn’t go into great detail but he basically just said they typically shot all the pierce scenes at the beginning of the day so Chevy could leave as soon as possible.


What really sucks is they were very close to getting Patrick Stewart for the Pierce role but the network insisted on Chevy


He came back to host SNL in the 80s and insulted everyone. Not in a funny way in a dickish way. Talking shit about cast member Robert Downey Jr 's dead father. He told the first openly gay cast member, Terry Sweeney, that they should have a recurring sketch every week to weigh him as he dies of AIDS. Fuck Chevy.


> Talking shit about cast member Robert Downey Jr 's dead father. I feel like I'm missing something here. Chevy Chase is an ass either way, but Robert Downey Sr. didn't die until last year.


Sorry. I misunderstood the quote. That's my mistake. "Didn't your father used to be a successful director? Whatever happened to him? Boy, he sure died, you know, he sure went to hell." https://www.gawker.com/5899097/hes-not-chevy-hes-an-asshole-a-history-of-chevy-chases-horrific-behavior


Jesus fuck that’s dark


That’s crazy. Heard he was terrible to Glover on Community. ☹️


Heard he was terrible to everyone on Community, sadly.


He complained that he did not understand the humor.


He got into a fistfight with Bill Murray once.


Chris Brown


Fuck Chris Brown.


This is the one I was looking for, have to upvote the fuck out of it every time one of these pops up. Fuck that guy. What a vile fucking creature


Dr Phil. Imagine taking advantage of mentally ill people just to make more money


The behind the bastards podcast episodes on him are fantastic....Dr Phil is a world class piece of shit


And I just learned of a new podcast to add to my rotation. Thank you for that.


I'd recommend starting with the Synanon episodes. They are wild.


Dr. Oz also is in this camp. He lied to people about his miracle cure weight loss supplement.


why is no one mentioning that both dr oz and dr phil are 100% creations of Oprah.


I uncollapsed this subthread just to mention exactly this. In retrospect that woman has a lot to answer for, pushing all manner of nonsense out to a credulous audience of millions. She was like some kind of human Facebook before there was Facebook. "Forwards from Oprah."


Endorsing Jenny McCarthy was pretty bad too


Oz is an *incredible* cardiac surgeon. In every other field of endeavour he's an *incredible* arsehole.




Any celebrity doctor, with the exception of who and strange.


Dr. Doofenschmirtz?


That goes without saying. He’s a national icon. Everybody knows that!




Ken jeong?




I think you mean that he’s a celebrity that happens to be a doctor.


I always forget he's a doctor in real life lol. So weird after watching him on community and stuff as professor Chang.


Ronald McDonald...it's personal


Is it because he's cultivating mass? There's nothing wrong with that




It's okay the bad clown man is gone. From real, McDonald's quietly phased him out a few years ago when there was that trend of people dressing up like clowns scaring people


He'll be back.


He never left. Check in the storm drains nearest to the actual restaurants. :-D


We all supersize down here.


Sadly, the original - from 1963 to 1965 - recently died back in September, and he was a respectable dude. Of course, I grew up with him reporting the weather, and wishing centenarians happy birthday on the Today Show until he fully retired in 2015. Funnily enough, he later went on to do ads for Burger King. RIP Willard Scott.


I didn't know he had died.


What did Ronnie the Rat do to you in highschool?


Jimmy Savile


There's a documentary about him coming to Netflix.


The Road Runner. I hope Wile E. Coyote kills the little pecker.


Wile E Coyote, Super Genius




There’s this show where John Favreau (sp?) and his friend, chef Roy Choi make food with celebrities and it’s a really good show actually. So they did one for her and it was a super healthy “pepper pot” and they catered the recipe for her basically and omg. Watching her try to pretend to try it without actually eating any on the show was sooo weird and awkward. She sucks for all her bad science, and this was a total anecdote but it was weird and I wanted to share. In contrast, the episode with Seth Rogan is hysterical and awesome.


That episode was great, where Jon Favreau talked about Spider-man and Gwyneth Paltrow actually didn't remember being IN the movie.


To be fair, they way they film a lot of these is probably just like "we need you here a couple days for some post credit or spinoff or maybe a TV show teaser? idk it's in your contract just show up."


That was so f'd up. She was so awkward. I don't understand why she agreed to do the show.


100% and been saying this for years. She used her celebrity status to make a killing off of psuedoscientific garbage. I hope the MCU is done with her.


Gotta get on that Goop.


Goop her


That rapist scumbag who did those awful things


Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?


I think that's the point


Oh, you mean Rapist Brock Turner the rapist who raped that girl and got caught raping her? /u/alienspacejesus beat me to it. I'll leave mine though, always room for one more person to talk about Brock Turner the rapist. Edit: corrected my take on rapist Brock Turner from rapist and attempted murderer to just a really shitty rapist.


The convicted rapist, Brock Turner, who was convicted of raping an unconscious girl behind a dumpster? That convicted rapist, Brock Turner?


He may have got a suspended sentence, but one law book immortalized him forever. https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/09/172212/brock-turner-law-textbook-rape


You mean Brock Turner? Brock Turner, the rapist? I didn’t think he was that famous. Except for the raping.


You mean, noted rapist Brock Turner, right?


I think the better question is why does this question get posted every week? It’s always the same (obvious at this point) answers. • James Corden • Chris Brown • R. Kelly • Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Woody Allen, Roman Polanski, and anyone during the #MeToo movement • Ellen DeGeneres • Wendy Williams • Kardashians • Dr. Phil & Dr. Oz • Drake • Cardi B. • Celebrity Scientologists like Elisabeth Moss and Michael Pena • Gwyneth Paltrow • Jared Leto


Because AskReddit is a pure karma farming sub. Look at it sorting by 'new'. Bots repost the same questions that caught on a month ago and they randomly catch on again and get put on /r/all. Other bots and some real people make the same comments, everyone upvotes everyone. Pure karma. The bots posting and commenting are independent but opportunistically feeding on each other so it isn't immediately caught by bot detection algorithms and there are enough real people in the mix. Every question that got a lot of answers once will be endlessly recycled. The bot's account who happened to win the repost lottery is then sold. It is pretty much fully automated.


Machine Gun Kelly. This guy is a giant ass pedophile. Literally self admitted if you dig enough. I don't understand how he still has a career. Especially now that he's changed his entire genre to market to under aged girls.


Drake is flirting with underage girls on stage too


The teen girl from Stranger Things said Drake sometimes calls her and talks about boys with her. … Sounds like grooming.


You need a bit of background context on this, as she recently turned 18, so anyone casually glancing might think it's just weird and not as bad as it actually is, he has been in contact with her since 2018 at least, at the 2018 grammys she was quoted saying, "I love him. ... He's honestly a great friend and a great role model. You know we text. We just texted each other the other day and he was like 'I miss you so much,' and I was like 'I miss you more.'" The grammys that year were held on January 29th with Millies birthday being on February 19th, meaning she was 13, just going on 14 when he was in contact with her. Full article: https://www.thelist.com/599260/why-fans-are-concerned-about-millie-bobby-brown-and-drakes-friendship/


It's pretty simple. The entertainment industry is filled with pedophiles. People with power and money and a whole smorgasbord of unwilling victims.


Ellen Degeneres. We learned the truth behind the happy random dancing show host and I can’t stand to see her in anything now.


My cousin was a huge fan of her's. When she was dying of cancer, my dad was able to fly her out to LA to meet Ellen. There are pictures of her, and her devoted husband crying while Ellen held her hands. It was magical. Thank god all the crap about Ellen didn't come out until after she passed away so she could still have that experience.


I think Ellen is a trash person but that’s not to say she hadn’t done some good mixed in with the bad. I’m glad your friend got to have that special experience!


The interview where Dakota Johnson stands up to her. Amazing.


Where she tries to intimidate her about not inviting her to her birthday party, and Dakota throws it back to her and says that she did? Amazing haha


I kinda wrote off Dakota Johnson since I initially only knew her from being in Fifty Shades, but that interview gave me mad respect for her standing up for herself. Who confronts someone about a birthday party on national television?


Not to diminish Dakota Johnson’s fire for standing up for herself but it definitely helps that she was born from Hollywood royalty (Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson) so she never felt “beneath” Ellen. Probably made it easier to stand up to her and call her out.


Using her powers for good.


Does anyone remember what she pulled on Mariah Carrey


The Kardashians


I just don’t get the hype.


Famous for being famous is a thing. Somehow.


Yeah, but they all have such boring personalities. Just watch one of their interviews. How people watch an entire reality show with them in it is beyond me. Just compare Kylie’s interview on Ellen to Malala’s Ellen interview. They were both the same age but Kylie could barely string a sentence together.


The whole family is too fake imo. I don't even think of them as people they're just media marketing at this point.


Ugh. Stupid people becoming famous and influencers to make more stupid people more stupid. Just a drain of stupidity.


Jerad Fogle Keep your footlong away from our kids you sex pest…


Jared Fogle ended his career the same way he started it. By trying to get into smaller pants.


Jared started his career with Subway because a mild cholesterol problem, and ended his career with subway because a child molesterol problem.


Any big “influencer”. I.e Kylie Jenner, Kim Kardashian, probably others I can’t think of


Gwyneth Paltrow. I feel like she's just completely out of touch and oblivious to how most of the world actually lives. Looking at her website makes that very apparent.


Chris Brown


Jussie Smollett


Jake Paul, fuck him.


Machine Gun Kelly: Fraud. Cringemaster. Hack. Poser. Oh, and self-proclaimed sexual predator.


Jackson Mahomes, the brother of NFL QB Mahomes. Search him up and you’ll see why. He’s a joke and so disrespectful. Doing TikTok dances at memorials of sports legends.


Drake… I can’t forget the fact that he was grooming Millie Bobbie Brown


Don't forget that when he was called out on what he was doing with MBB, he didn't even step out of the spotlight at all. He just switched to Billie Eilish.....


Also that video of him flirting with a girl on stage talking about how he wishes she was older or something like that


Tom Cruise for his f-ing Scientology stance.


Jussie Smollett What a POS


You mean Juicy Smoll-yay? The very French actor?


Bill Cosby


Chris Brown


Any of the Kardashians. I don’t think I’m alone in that.


Steven Seagal


Chris Brown and R Kelly.


OJ Simpson for bussing case. So corrupt.


Logan Paul.


He seems to have mellowed out, whereas Jake has only doubled down on the violently aggressive douchebag angle.


I haven't heard about Logan in ages, but glad to see he's mellowing out. I hope.


TikTok "celebrities"


Luc Besson. Dating a 15 year old when he's thirty and getting her pregnant is pretty fucked up.