T O P
  • By -

regular_gonzalez

"Open the pod bay doors, HAL" "I'm afraid I can't do that Dave, you piece of shit"


eyebrows360

ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS – EXCEPT EUROPA. ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE. YOU PIECE OF SHIT.


RoyalFunkyGames

You shall not pass! You piece of shit!


gabrielleraul

My intestines during constipation.


herbal-cloud

Use the force you piece of shit


doesntsmokecrack

"I love you." "I know, you piece of shit."


Junk4U999

“I love you, you piece of shit” “I know”


ConflagWex

Stay on target, you piece of shit!


ob12_99

I'm your father, you piece of shit


MC_Ben-X

You are on this council but we do not grant you the rank of master, you piece of shit!


CapnPants666

“Because Three Horns don’t play with Longnecks, you piece of shit!”


Bizoza9

"Poor Petrie, poor poor Petrie, you piece of shit"


SoulReaper01981

Little foot do you remember the way to the green valley "you piece of shit?


Optimal-Sherbert152

Wasn't expecting to find a Land Before Time quote here, but good God, am I glad I did...


manachar

Yep, yep, yep, you piece of shit!


DarTouiee

Dobby is a free elf, you piece of shit Edit: Thanks for the awards. Wanted to add "HARRY DIDYOUPUTYOURNAMEINTHEGOBLETOFFIRE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"


thesnacks

"You shall not harm Harry Potter, you piece of shit!"


lumpytrunks

Hagrid: You're a wizard Harry Harry: I'm a what!? Hagrid: A wizard, you piece of shit.


Byizo

HARRY, DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?


Daedalus871

Dumbledore asked calmly.


b0rtb0rtB0rt

I'm a WHAT?!


weaseldonkey

A piece of shit, Harry!


b0rtb0rtB0rt

But I'm just Harry!


steep_trees

No just Harry, you’re a piece of shit!


Marmite_Badger

Follow the yellow brick road, you piece of shit


Dick_M_Nixon

For twenty-three years, I've been dying to tell you what I thought of you, and now... well, being a Christian woman, I can't say it! You piece of shit!


robarian1

You had me at hello, you piece of shit


RuariWasTaken

You had me at piece of shit.


thiosk

"Everyone floats down here, you piece of shit."


cellabella1170

Accurate


Optimal_Bad_8965

You is smart, you is kind, you is important you piece of shit


Ehrre

"Ohana means family, you piece of shit" -Lilo and Stitch


TheCovfefeMug

Reading this in Stitch’s voice makes it 10x funnier


Qisty89

For some reason I imagined it in Donald duck's voice which also worked pretty well


ToastyStephana

Just keep swimming, you piece of shit.


Mooncaketimeline698

Dory is showing her ture feelings


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ToastyStephana

I see your ture colours, you piece of shit.


TheBman26

Nah that’s just Ellen unmasked


theoldraven

Darn it, no matter how hard I tried...I couldn't forget you, You piece of shit. - Dory *Finding Dory*


aishaxkaniz

Bilbo baggins , you haven't aged a day,, you piece of shit


flukshun

If Aragorn survives this war, you will still be parted. If Sauron is defeated and Aragorn made king and all that you hope for comes true you will still have to taste the bitterness of mortality. Whether by the sword or the slow decay of time, Aragorn will die. And there will be no comfort for you, no comfort to ease the pain of his passing. He will come to death an image of the splendor of the kings of Men in glory undimmed before the breaking of the world. But you, my daughter, you will linger on in darkness and in doubt as nightfall in winter that comes without a star. Here you will dwell bound to your grief under the fading trees until all the world is changed and the long years of your life are utterly spent, you piece of shit.


Cold-Weakness8831

The best part of this one is you see the punchline coming a mile away but still can't stop laughing! Take my upvote and leave, you piece of shit.


damndingashrubbery

Fine, keep your secrets,, you piece of shit


Shevvv

"Smoke rises from the Mountain of Doom. The hour grows late, and Gandalf the Grey rides to Isengard, seeking my council. For that is why you have come, is it not, you piece of shit?" Followed shortly by: "Tell me, friend, when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness, you piece of shit?"


Flamecrest

A wizard is never late, you piece of shit.


UrMotherIsJoe

YOU SHALL NOT PASS, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.


ladybugrachel

You bow to no one, you piece of shit


Elfkrunch

Pity I should have liked to have held my old ring one last time. You piece of shit.


anemic_monkey2

I am no man, you piece of shit.


favoritemusic1982

"Why do you recoil? I am no thief, you piece of shit."


Morvahna

This one changes the tone depending where you place it. Yours sounds disgruntled. Put it in the middle though, "Bilbo Baggins, you piece of shit, you haven't aged a day." Sounds like some ribbing between two old friends who haven't seen each other in a good while.


aotus_trivirgatus

>"Bilbo Baggins, you piece of shit, you haven't aged a day." Aussies.


Nlelith

"You bow to no one, you pieces of shit."


Vondi

"I can't carry it for you… but I can carry you! You piece of shit"


TheSirMontyPython

"You're so loud we would have shot you in the dark, you piece of shit."


Fretj

"They are taking the hobbits to Isengard, you piece of shit!" "One does not simply walk into mordor, you piece of shit " "And my axe, you piece of shit! " "You shall not pass, you piece of shit!" Jesus I would watch an extended piece of shit cut.


PuckinFissed

We've had one, yes. What about second breakfast, you piece of shit


Fretj

PO TA TOES YOU PIECE OF SHIT


Gamma_249

Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew, you piece of shit.


ItsKu_

"What are you doing in my swamp, you piece of shit?"


HELLOhappyshop

This fits too well haha


KhaoticMess

Keep your feet off the grass Shine your shoes, wipe your face Duloc is, Duloc is Duloc is a perfect place, you piece of shit


justplaypve

draw me like one of your french girls, you piece of shit...


ThatGirl_PYT

Kinky


healthydoseofsarcasm

Jack: 'I'm the king of the world!!' Rose under her breath: 'you piece of shit'


ReverendLord

I'll never let go Jack. You piece of shit. {Let's go}


TheLonelyScientist

Leia: "I love you." Han: "I know, you piece of shit."


tackyGem253

Hakuna matata, you piece of shit


captainsuckass

You just turned it into the pre-kill one-liner from an action movie lol


Lascye

Hakuna matata motherfucker And then Samuel L. Jackson kills the bad guy


shaelrotman

Lion King 3: Pumba’s Revenge


bingbongnoise

This has "yippe ki-yay, mother fucker" vibes to me.


[deleted]

“It’s over Anakin! I have the high ground, you piece of shit!”


WannaBePolymath314

“You underestimate my power, you piece of shit!”


Ja-das-ist-gut

"Don't try it you piece of shit!"


Greasychessburger

“Aaaaaah u piece of shit”


DocSaysItsDainBramuj

“Padme is dead” “Nooooooooooo, you piece of shit.”


buttchomper

You wanna buy some death sticks you piece of shit?


Dimensionalanxiety

Go home and re-think your life you piece of shit.


FantasticZach

You were my brother you peace of shit.


lucandresen

I loved you... you piece of shit.


Ysoshes

You were supposed to bring balance to the force you piece of shit!!


Krotesk

I am your father. You piece of shit.


taoimean

Doing this one a little differently: "No, you piece of shit. I am your father."


wotmate

I'm surprised nobody has thought of this one. Leia: "I love you" Han: "I know you piece of shit"


spingus

I scrolled a long time and far down to find this comment.


WonderfulBlackberry9

*“Hello there, you piece of shit.”* *“General Kenobi… you piece of shit.”* EDIT: italicised for extra gravitas.


Think_Seaweed_7314

I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast you piece of shit.


VeryAwkwardLadyBoner

You eat shit for breakfast, you piece of shit?


DriveOff

I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my boat, sail across the ocean, and restore the heart of Te Fiti, you piece of shit.


Ishidan01

So what I Beliiiiiieve you were trying to say... is "thank you", you piece of shit.


Billy_Gilmore

You're welcome!... You piece of shit


ApprehensiveStatus13

"Run Forrest! Run, you piece of shit!"


MettaMorphosis

Jenny finally showing her true colors.


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ProfMajkowski

And a new r/AskReddit running gag is born


[deleted]

Romeo, Oh Romeo, Where for art thou Romeo you piece of shit


hermit48

"A pox on both your houses you piece of shit"


[deleted]

Quarrel, sir? No, sir, you piece of shit.


Baronsandwich

Do you bite your thumb at me you piece of shit!?


shan22044

Somethings rotten in Denmark, you piece of shit.


DulgUnum

I did not hit her! I did not! Oh, hi Mark, you piece of shit. Edit: whoa my first gold!


phdinseagalogy

Hai doggy you piece of shit!


dino0509

You're my favorite customer, you piece of shit


TwoTon_TwentyOne

Anyway, how's your sex life, you piece of shit?


babyrobotman

I definitely have breast cancer, you piece of shit.


MeC0195

Johnny, you're my favorite customer, you piece of shit


Dongledoes

Lisaaa you're tearing me apart, you piece of shit!


ZenKB

"Wow, you look so sexy, Lisa, you piece of shit"


imapassenger1

What a story, Mark, you piece of shit.


SinistralLeanings

I feel like this could actually have been the line haha


WeThreeTrees333

"May the odds be ever in your favor, you piece of shit."


bobalda

I volunteer as tribute, you piece of shit!


HELLOhappyshop

Thank you for your consideration, you piece(s) of shit.


MonkeyPolice

My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die, you piece of shit.


dom618

I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. You piece of shit.


RonnieTheEffinBear

"Have fun storming the castle!! You piece of shit."


drummermattrocks

I am not left handed, you piece of shit! Ironically, I am left handed 😂


Lefuf

There's a shortage of perfect breasts in the world, it would be a pity to ruin yours you piece of shit


Fynn_the_Finger

"As you wish, you piece of shit."


Lord_Snow77

Inconceivable you piece of shit.


DocSaysItsDainBramuj

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means you piece of shit.


doireallyneednames

Stop it, I mean it, you piece of shit.


Funandgeeky

Anybody want a peanut in a bit?


malenkylizards

"no more rhyming, you piece of shit!" "...anybody want a peanut?"


Mikeavelli

Is this a kissing book, you piece of shit?


cmgr33n3

Jesus grampa, you piece of shit, what did you read me this thing for?


SuchCoolBrandon

It's "leviOsa", not "levioSA," you piece of shit.


[deleted]

I WANT TO SEE THE LIGHT LEAVE YOUR EYES, YOU PIECE OF SHIT


bigsim

HARRY YOU PIECE OF SHIT DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAAAAAH


Khayman11

He asked calmly.


HavelsRockJohnson

You piece of shit.


out_focus

Dobby has no master, you piece of shit


goldenring22

I can touch you now you piece of shit


yajtraus

“Severus… Please… You piece of shit” I feel like the emotional impact may have been lost slightly


BerndDasBrot4Ever

"After all this time?" "Always, you piece of shit"


Gamma_249

You do it then, if you're so clever. Go on, go on, you piece of shit.


Geri-psychiatrist-RI

Yer a wizard, you piece of shit


noisypeach

Yer a piece of shit, Harry


CallMeAdam2

I'm a *wot??*


TSMDankMemer

you piece of shit!


DaedalusAufAbwegen

But I'm just Harry you piece of shit!


bubble_bear_cosplays

AVAADAAAAA KADAVRAAAA YOU PIECE OF SHIT


axidentalaeronautic

I DID MY WAITING. 12 YEARS OF IT. IN AZKABAN. YOU PIECE OF SHIT!


graveybrains

You dare use my own spells against me, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! …I think this just makes *everything* better!


kaylthewhale

“Always, you piece of shit.”


lateforthis

After all this time, you piece of shit?


harystor

Sorry professor, I must not tell lies, you piece of shit.


mikevolcom

NOT ME, NOT HERMIONE, YOU. You piece of shit.


areeves79

Lt. Dan you ain't got no legs, you piece of shit


IntelligentMine1901

You’re gonna need a bigger boat you piece of shit


Only_Quotes_Jaws

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief. We was comin’ back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We’d just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn’t see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin’ from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn’t know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn’t even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin’ by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin’ and hollerin’ and sometimes that shark he go away… but sometimes he wouldn’t go away. Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’… ’til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those sharks come in and… they rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don’t know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin’, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson’s mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he’d been bitten in half below the waist. At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol’ fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb, you piece of shit.


blobfish_in_a_suit

Smile, you son of a bitch you piece of shit. No wait, Smile you piece of bitch and son of a shit. No wait, smi-


yeahnah420201

WOW, you piece of shit -Owen Wilson


50mm-f2

KEVVVVVVIINNNNN, you piece of shit!


Actually_The_Flash

"I love you Jenny, you piece of shit."


shan22044

I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is you piece of shit.


PM_ME_YOUR_1080

Like my old momma used to say "Life is like a box of chocolates, you don't know what you're gonna get, you piece of shit."


flushoegumbo

Surely you can’t be serious. I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley, you piece of shit.


apathetic-yeti

“I’ll be back, you piece of shit”


Shakenbake1811

You’ll shoot your eye out you piece of shit


shapu

"Let it go, you piece of shit."


snj123451

Do you wanna build a snowman, you piece of shit?


Darth-Binks-1999

Transformers the Movie (1986) Optimus Prime: "One shall stand, one shall fall." Megatron: "Why throw away your life so recklessly?" OP: "That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron, you piece of shit."


keltik055

"All right then. Keep your secrets. You piece of shit"


cubfanq

Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe, you piece of shit?


TheDangerHeisenberg

“A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to, you piece of shit!”


spock42ii

Bond. James Bond, you piece of shit.


kaboomerific

Shaken, not stirred, you piece of shit.


ZeekOwl91

"*Merry Christmas, you filthy animal. And a Happy New Year, you piece of shit!*"


Jekate

There is no spoon, you piece of shit.


Some_Hot_Garbage

"You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you! You piece of shit!"


hermit48

"The power of Christ compels you, you piece of shit"!


-S-O-M-13-

Dodson, we got Dodson here!! See, nobody cares, you piece of shit.


WizzWazz88

That’ll do pig, you piece of shit


lovelynutz

Do…or do not. there is no try. Shit you piece of.


mustachi00

“You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them. bring balance to the force, not leave it in darkness, you piece of shit.”


JayGold

Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? You piece of shit?


HorseWithACape

Here's looking at you, kid... ...you piece of shit...


Killersmilepat

“Alright alright alright you piece of shit”


BirdieRafael

DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE YOU PIECE OF SHIT


Emir_26

Rosebud,you piece of shit


Beanos-c

Cowabunga you piece of shit


ronaldfinkWHR

I am Groot, you piece of shit


Lim-P-Dick

Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads, you piece of shit.


black_jaguar99

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH YOU PEICE OF SHIT


atomicgoat

You had one job, you piece of shit.


Mooncaketimeline698

What is a price of shit


Edy_Yo

"E.T phone home, you piece of shit!"


duhh33

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore, you piece of shit!


Givemeanamebitch

"Yo Adrian, I did it you piece of shit"


LeLuche

"I am a jedi, just like my father before me... You piece of shit"


work_lappy_54321

"rey" "rey who?" "rey skywalker" "you piece of shit"


mrWLSN

Somehow Palpatine returned, you piece of shit.


Sam_Porgins

That was the writer’s subtext to the audience


WannaBePolymath314

Ain’t that right.


talkshitgetlit

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you, you piece of shit.


cigartsar

I’m Batman you piece of shit


MJ349

Klaatu barada nikto, you piece of shit.