T O P
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ryancalavano

Waking up kind of tired still and realizing you don't have anything to do that day and sleeping in.


Comrade108

He said almost as good as an orgasm, not better.


Mashy6012

I like waking up and checking my phone to see how much more sleep I get....and then realising its Saturday and I don't have to get up at all.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kaitlinhathaw

My boyfriend will look over at me half asleep and ask for back scratches. On any given day.


peanut340

My girlfriend figured out that back scratches are the key to my heart. She likes her ear lobes massaged though so its a you scratch my back I massage your lobes kind of deal.


Tnetennbat

Is your girlfriend a Ferengi by any chance?


timesuck897

Remember the rule of acquisition #40, she can touch your lobes but never your latinum.


skyflyandunderwood

and head scratches!


kreebob

50/50 I'd take back and arm scratchies than sex with the old lady


santasbong

That first bite of something hot & delicious when you're really **REALLY** hungry.


acemccrank

I'd say garlic bread, but the post said not quite better than sex, so... Or mozzarella sticks. Or cream of chicken soup. Or deviled eggs, red beet eggs, quesadillas...


eatmahanus

Sir please stop I can only get so erect


urbanplowboy

When you’re a little cold and climb into a nice warm clean bed.


DingusBeagle

Clean sheets for the win! Edit: can’t believe this is my highest voted comment of all time


Flashy_Concept6778

Clean linens fresh out the dryer, very underrated!!


Kerobis

I prefer fresh out the calzone oven personally.


bahernandez02

Or the opposite when you're hot and get on a fresh cold bed


[deleted]

[удалено]


ElReyDelMund0

YES. The feeling of the sheets and blanket the first night after washing them.


thekingofcrash7

Best day of the year


bdbr

Having a migraine go away. Going from extremely intense pain to just feeing OK is fantastic.


ITryToPetBees

YES. When the pain just releases it’s hold on you, and it’s like you can finally breathe again


SilentJoe1986

That absence of pain feels better than sex. I remember having an abscessed tooth and having to wait a week to get it taken care of. When they pulled my tooth the pain almost instantly went away and I felt an amazing wave of euphoria wash over me. I would never willingly go through that again to chase that feeling but I have never felt anything better than that relief


Hold_My_Anxiety

My brother has been living with a abscess tooth for about a year and a half now because he can’t afford to visit a dentist. It will be weeks of pain and eventually he says it “pops” and for a week it will stop hurting until pressure builds back up in it. America really fucked us with this whole no affordable healthcare thing.


bigdaddyskidmarks

I know you know this, but he needs to get that shit fixed because it can and will kill you. Look up Ludwig’s Angina. I had it years ago and it was no joke.


cinemachick

Can I send you some funds to help get the tooth taken care of? I know how much it sucks to not have dental insurance and I'd like to help.


ShartingFatMan

A pee when you REALLY have to go


Butwinsky

Peeing after beating Google maps' ETA on a long road trip. Nothing better.


waffle_fries_evryday

Beating google maps’ ETA on any road trip


icanbeafrick

Oh.. it's an "E"ta? I thought it was a challenge. Oops


II_Confused

A pee so long you fell like you should have timed it. (94 seconds, by the way) A pee so long the people in the next room are laughing their asses off. A pee so long the commercial break is over, the show came back on, and it's on the next break.


FctFndr

When you finally get that piece of meat or whatever out of between your teeth. The one that has been harassing you for hours and you had no tooth pick. Man, that is good.


JonOfTheJo

Might not sound exciting, but I 100% relate to this 👏👏👏


northsidecub11

Fart a stomachache away Edit: thank you for the rewards! Edit pt2: never had these many awards thanks!!


Fluffyturtle225

I know right, you get that horrible gas pain, then this massive build up, and then either a grand gas release, or some pitiful poof. Either way it somehow instantly fixes everything


dazedan_confused

Doing something in public and getting approval from a random stranger. Edit: Damn, you guys do much cooler stuff than I do out in public...


semimillennial

Making a joke and getting a laugh from a stranger is the best.


BrickDeckard

I stumbled on uneven pavement on a sidewalk while on a date, made a joke about not falling due to catlike reflexes or something. Dude walking by laughed out loud, I still remember that over the date’s name. Edit: grammar


LactatingWolverine

"Grammar" is an unusual name


clayparson

Basically the only reason I'm on reddit


Sachiel05

Wanna tell me a joke?


Landler656

There was a girl who bummed a smoke and light from me behind a bar I was at. She said "Hey dude, I like your style...like your general vibe." That was 4 and a half years ago and I am *still* riding that high!


skyflyandunderwood

Random validation is the best! I had a girl compliment my haircut at a NYE party and even after 6 years, I still think about it time to time.


dalenichol

Seriously. I don't think women understand just how nice it feels for a guy to get a genuine, unprompted compliment.


TheCocklessClown

Lol I'm still riding a high 3 years ago. I was on the phone arguing in my car. Made accidental intense eye contact with a smoke show walking by. Went into store and when I came back had a business card on windshield that said your really attractive heres my number I saw you on the phone and didn't want to interrupt. She also wrote a "I'm sorry if your married or in relationship note on back." I thought it be cool to show my wife. I was incorrect However, I do drive a 2014 honda civic with a busted side mirror, so this aggressive dime probably only wanted me for my gas mileage. Fucking Honda Hoes.


pepperanne08

My husband got a number from a chick in a fast food fish drive through one day. From that point on any argument we got in I would jokingly throw out "go be with drive through chick then!" If I got tired of the argument cause it would cause us both to die laughing.


DrizzyRando

That’s hilarious, glad you two can joke around like that 😂


RS702

Some old lady in an elevator called me a “tall glass of water” about 5 years ago.


Calgaris_Rex

I asked my Mom why people describe attractive men as a "tall glass of water"...without missing a beat, she said: *Because when you look at him it's REFRESHING!*


LITTLEdickE

When you flash your brights to tell someone to turn on their lights at night and they give you a thumb up out the window after they turn their lights on


skyflyandunderwood

In college I (male) went out drinking with a group of friends and while we were walking to a bar, 4 of my female friends were walking arm in arm with me/my arm around their shoulders. An old black man gave me the nod, snapped his fingers and gave me the sincerest "my maaan". Im pretty sure that was the peak of my life. ​ EDIT: and to add. I was wearing a suit and my female friends were all wearing beautiful formal dresses, which also probably helped.


DaRealSprayingMantis

Last time me and the wife went down to the riverfront in STL 2 cars full of youngns drove past and gave me all thumbs up and Were yelling and calling me a pimp..she had just given birth to our daughter and was scared to wear a short dress in public even tho she looked amazing. If I could bottle how it felt to watch her beam with pride I’d drink it every day. Edit: I remembered what prompted my response. I was downtown with her and an old black man and I think his grandson walked past me and my wife and our kids and the wife was looking smoking hot and old man looked at me and smiled and said “some guys have all the luck” Edit 2:holy shit Reddit, you are awesome. Way to pick someone up when they’re down. I actually kind of like humans again now


ruddsy

Hungry for apples?


wesevans

Lookin goood!


Dominsa

*Snaps fingers * Yes!


slapmepsilly

...you're fired.


ITFOWjacket

Slow down!


Turnontuneindropout7

Human music


DassemUltor

I like it


-manabreak

This reminds me of a time I went jogging. I had just started the whole jogging thing and was struggling. This time, I was determined to not walk at all. The final straight before getting back home, I was just flapping myself forward with any energy I could muster when a dude on a bicycle rides towards me, smiles and gives me a thumbs up. It felt awesome and I jogged the rest of the way with a smile. :)


TheBraveToast

Similar experience on a bike ride. My house was at the top of a long, gradual hill climb, and I was determined not to have to walk the bike up it. About halfway I'm losing a lot of steam and obviously struggling, but a couple of kids sitting on their porch started cheering me on, whoopin and hollering. You bet your ass I made it home without stopping 😊


Fireye04

Quoted Monte Python and the Holy Grail in public and someone turned to me and nodded. Felt damn good.


Tyrus_McTrauma

Wife and I were in an Uber, and I asked where she would like to eat. She replied, "Oh I don't care, you pick", in the clichéd female response. I of course had to respond with the "What makes a woman turn neutral?" The driver instantly replied with "Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?", while nodding and smiling. My wife was even mildly amused. It was a good day.


New_Citizen

Parallel parking like a boss!


Froater

Taking off socks after a long day of work Edit: *taking off not tanking and no not dress socks 😆


jadeite07

Yes! Especially if you wear safety boots for work. So damn good ETA: do y’all not have dress work boots? Like for meetings, new clients or for when clients and upper upper management come to visit??


midnightsmith

Yep, kicking off the work boots, even if they are comfy, is lime, THE best


Jiggly_Love

Hitting all green lights on the way home from work.


icanbeafrick

Or. The opposite, hitting them all green on the way IN.... Because you know that's the best thing that's going to happen to you all day


1maginasian

Hell no that just means im getting to work faster :c


lightenthefuckuppuss

I can tell you what gives you “blue balls” when your sneeze is about to come out and goes away for no reason. I get irrationally mad because I feel like something has been taken from me


essentialoils3

Nose betrayal


tony78ta

If you feel a sneeze coming, stare at a light or out the window if the sun's up. Works for me every time. Photic Sneeze reflex (ACHOO) syndrome.


BBLLAAKKEE12

After a long, stressful day and you go home to absolute silence.


jzr171

I have never known such a thing


Limp_Distribution

A piss shiver, if you know, you know.


New_Citizen

Yeah, what the heck is that? Seems like a bug, rather than a feature.


kreyb

Its a bug that is accepted so it is now a feature


BobboMcGee

Ive not had pee shivers in a while :( partially good tho cus they were so violent piss would go on seat and potentially floor


DiabloDealsALT

That sounds like a disease not a glitch


karma3000

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-micturition_convulsion_syndrome


Beddha

I opened that wiki-page, and when i got to explanation i read "There has yet to be any pee-reviewed research on the topic"


choochoo_choose_me

Omg I never realized there was a name for this! I noticed my 4yo son does this and I do too, but when we talked about it with my partner and daughter they both thought we were making it up!


throwCharley

Anyone else tickle their forehead to heighten the feeling ?


tubahero3469

Just tried this. It worked. Now I'm gonna be a weird guy who tickles his forehead while he pees. So thanks for that ig.


PixelofDoom

Just ask the guy at the urinal next to you for help. People are less likely to be judgy if they are doing the tickling.


Shad666

When you wake up in the night and your dehydrated as fuck and you gulp down water.


icanbeafrick

When you can LITERALLY feel it spreading through your dehydrated veins


JmyKane

Oh yeah baby. It feels like you're drinking liquid magic juice that quenches your thirst with an icy cool kiss of life.


provocative_bear

The night before you go to sleep: off-tasting tap water. The morning after when you're a dessicated husk: Nectar. Of. The. Gods.


Zofobread

I would submit the opposite of this. Holding in pee for a really long time and running to the bathroom and just blasting it out a rocket stream it urine. It’s amazing relief and as close as you can get to a small orgasm, especially coming out the same place as the other stuff.


burtyburt92

Cold water after a night of drinking booze. Eye-rolling good yeeessss


TucsonTacos

I remember chugging a huge glass of water next to my bed in the late morning after a night of heavy drinking. It had stayed cold all night and as I drank I saw a gnat in the glass. I drank the gnat because the water felt sooo good and I didn’t want to stop


adube440

You did the right thing.


numbnesstolife

Shitting on your own toilet at home after being away for a few days.


christian_l33

Especially if you were camping.


bearingbuster

There is nothing like shitting in a hole in the woods


[deleted]

My body can’t poop in the woods. I’ve spent 4 days in the woods and I had no desire to poop until I returned to civilization. It was glorious.


GassyMagee

I save it up all weekend to shit on company time.


Vargasthemad7

Boss earns a dollar I earn a dime Now I shit on companies time!


sd1360

There is no excuse for shitting at home when you can get paid for it at work.


zjp_716

Best part of working from home, paid to shit on company time from the comfort of my own bathroom. A man shits best when he has home field advantage


skiingredneck

And you control the TP quality.


No-Structure883

That breath of fresh air after being waterboarded.


[deleted]

Wait a minute…


Positive-Source8205

Waterboarding at Guantanamo sounds pretty cool if you don’t know what this words mean.


Jack_Bartowski

Surf's up dude!


paytonsglove

Isn't Guantonamos that place with really good chimichangas and huge margaritas?


another-modern-leper

The moment you put your regular shoes on after wearing ski boots for hours.


gchachabattari

i would also like to include ice and roller skates in this


SirWaynesworth

Absolutely underrated comment. Ski boots feel great while you're skiing, but taking them off after a solid day is a pure orgasmic experience.


SpecialPlane8749

Someone saying your cute. I was told this about 3 years ago and I still ride the high


FilliusTExplodio

I feel like I can vividly recall every physical compliment I've ever received. Because it's happened like seven times total.


God_Is_Pizza

Look at this guy here, the magnet of physical compliments.


hlyic

This is sad about hetero males. Most females have at least one, and hopefully several people in their life that will compliment them. You just don't find guys doing that for each other.


ReferHvacGuy

7 times? Jesus Christ you must be one handsome bastard. I’m pretty objectively decent looking and I never get compliments and I constantly give them. And when I do get one it’s in such a rude way where the attitude is like “ugh shut up you know you’re good looking” and never said in a genuine way.


RiddleEatsRainbows

Man this entire thread is sad as hell... you guys deserve to be complimented more! I'm sure you're all cute


Talents

I got a compliment from a 17 year old girl when I was 12 who said I had a nice smile/nice teeth and it's the only compliment I've ever gotten so I've been riding that since. I'm 25.


SnakeJG

One time I was at a goth club with my girlfriend. I'm not a goth, but I was wearing a black ripped vest with rivets over one pocket for the occasion. Waiting in line at the bar, the cute girl in front of me gets her drink, turns around and just runs her hand over my left pec where the rivets were. I was with my girlfriend so nothing happened, no words were even exchanged, but man do I still sometimes think about that.


xoxogossipgrandma

I got you, You’re cute bro.


Dark_mountain_man

Thanks Grandma 💓


Illustrious_Ad5155

It's much more common for women to be called "cute" or "beautiful". Eventually it becomes boring for them. For a lot of men one compliment on our appearance will be making us smile for years lol.


Jumpy_Mastodon581

When you get a haircut, get home, shower and crawl into bed after you had the sheets and pillow cases cleaned that day. Oh, and its cold and raining outside.


Sonorosiano123

When you draw the last piece of Exodia.


ShadowMessiah333

My grandfather's deck has no pathetic cards, Kaiba! But what it does have is something almost as good as an orgasm!


Gikie

EXPLOOODIA!! ORGASM AWAITS!!


Philosophy_Fie_Fum

One time I got bit all over my ankle and calf by fire ants while mowing the lawn. My leg was swollen and so itchy, tortuously, in fact if there was a devil he would make you itch like this. I heated some water in a small tub for my feet and poured in epsom salts. I doubt that did anything, it was likely all the heat, but you always hear about epsom salts. While sitting in a chair I lowered my foot in and nearly orgasmed. I'm not being hyperbolic. I nearly came in my pants fully flaccid and completely by surprise, so close that I had to mentally tell myself, "No. No. Not like this." It took all my will. It was that good. It's been four years and I still think of it. So, that.


basic_bitch-

Nice description. It almost made me want to get bitten by fire ants so I could feel the relief. Almost.


Fibonaccitos

Hey, don’t kink-shame the deliberately-bitten-by-fire-ants community!


Master_Of_Puppers

I mean, he says its literally so good that he had to tell himself “no”. Ooga booga me want fire ant so then me can feel the good ooga booga monky brain


Meelicorn

"Not like this"? Really? You turned down an amazing opportunity my friend...


kal9001

A really satisfying poo. The kind that just slides itself out with no effort. You can feel your gut shrink. It's like some sentient being is leaving your body as peacefully as possible. A clean 'single shot' that leaves no mark on the paper and makes you feel so satisfied you wonder if you'll ever feel the need to poo again. Edit: One of my best performing posts, with awards, and it was about taking a really good dump. Guess there are worse things it could be. Edit2: as there seems to be some discussion, a decent diet with fiber, and good hydration i believe is the key.


Choontz

What about a barely made it emergency poo? Sweaty lip. Gas pains. Race to the toilet, then KABOOM!!


UserPrincipalName

Type 3 fun dude.....


orisathedog

Peak dude, even better if it hits you with that like bent forward, head up, eyes closed, making a funny face action


Het_smiecht

I once had this, but a little drop of poo came afterwards, and that one did leave a chunky brown mark on the paper. My disappointment was immeasurable and my day was ruined.


allute

I had a kidney stone surgery last year, and something caused me to not be able to poop. I was eating laxative chocolates, prunes, and taking fiber. The pain was excruciating because I just couldn't poop. I was having cramps, using a heating pad, even resorted to attempt an enema after having called a doctor who essentially said, "What do you want ME to do about it!? If you think you're in danger, go to the emergency room." Then, one fateful evening, I gripped my thighs and cried in agony as I gave birth to a Bono-esque monstrosity. The moment I was able to poop, I felt like I'd never take pooping for granted ever again. Such a relief and I dropped nearly 10 pounds that day.


Blueberry_Mancakes

Going back to bed after taking a much-needed piss.


lock_IT_tf_UP

Yeah, wtf is that? You wake up go pee and go back to bed and your bed feels like the most expensive mattress ever


Grimmanomaly

Mmm probably when you let the shower stream hit the back of your head just right. It’s like a combination of the warmth of the water and the little streams of water giving you that tickling feeling.


Positive-Source8205

Yeah, that’s when my eyes roll back in my head and I think about standing there permanently.


Extra_Advance_477

A well placed q tip


DonLikeThisLa

When the house pet chooses you in a party.


MarkCanuck

Rubbing your eyes during allergy season. Much like a man's orgasm, it doesn't last long.


ManlyMantis101

And in the end it makes you feel even worse than you did before.


Relcs_

But that makes the next rub oh so much more satisfying.


headlightsinreverse

When the scissors start gliding while you’re cutting paper


RoloMac

Coming home to your dog, who is immensely happy to see you.


digitecca

I’d like to recommend our signature cocktail, the Caribbean paradise. Some people say it’s better than busting a nut.


johnnytran17

It's light. It's playful.


kgold0

Replacing a light switch with a smart switch, turning the circuit breaker back on, and not burning down the house (and other new stuff you do on your house for the first time)


compound-interest

I think I can beat most of the top answers in here. Once I got such a bad ear infection that it swelled shut with fluid in it. I was broke so I couldn’t go to the doctor. The pain was *intense*. Then about 10 days into the infection my ear drum exploded and all that fluid/blood that had built up came out. Have you ever had swimmers ear, then twitch a little bit when the water flows out? It was like that but times 100. Aside from good sex probably the most intense bliss I’ve ever felt. The *pressure relief* in my skull combined with the feeling of the liquid flowing from my ear was something else.


boredlawyer90

This sounds really unpleasant, but I imagine the release felt good


TheHornyToothbrush

> my ear drum exploded That sounds bad...


thefirstwizardsleve

Your favourite food. When you really want it.


dontgoforthe1

Being hit on is pretty great. I'm married but the ego boost is welcome.


MatthewDLuffy

I never really get this, but the closest I've come to riding that high is when I was out clothes shopping like 4(?) years ago with my kid and even-then-ex gf but they weren't in the immediate vicinity. Anyway, I'm checking out in line and I guess the very attractive girl behind the counter was giving me "the eyes" (not that I could tell lol because why would I), until my ex and kid came around as I was finishing up, and the girl's entire demeanor changed. I only realized after my ex pointed it out. Still riding that high to this day


darcmosch

Beating that level that has given you uncontrollable rage.


Anchorboiii

Smaugh and Ornstein in Dark Souls


JesusChristSuperDerp

middle bite of a badass double cheese burger


throwawaybrainpain

Dude I literally eat burgers in a weird messy circle just for this


PNG-

Yo not just burgers; breads, full donuts, or just about any pastry with filling, I eat them circumferentially lol


Axolotl-Dog

Having an itch on your butthole and ripping a fart strong enough to scratch it.


PhelesDragon

Dry fart*


NapoleonTheAfromite

A wet fart is why it itches in the first place.


hubb412

Dad’s got the fart needles again.


Infectedtoe32

This is fucking golden 😂


Grandiaplayer

When you ask someone to scratch your back and they do it on the perfect spot without you directing them to where it is. Edit: Thanks for the upvotes but I just really like back scratches. Edit 2: Wow! Thanks again, everyone! To all who love back scratches! I seriously appreciate it!


Generaljuansolo

Purrin like a damn walrus.


whoopigoldbergsfarts

Lmao same for scratching my head. When my wife scratches my head or back I do the Peter Griffin purr like a walrus and also do the thing where I kick my foot like I’m a dog. She laughs so hard.


ArandomIv

Scratching a bug bite after you’ve been really trying not to. It’s that soul-deep satisfaction. You know it’s going to fuck up that area and you’re not supposed to do it but literally nothing feels better in that moment.


GrumpyCatStevens

A well-executed heel-toe downshift.


Jmalcolmmac

My dad welded a piece of metal on the side of the gas pedal on his ‘71 E type Jag so it’s be easier to heel toe. It was exhilarating to drive on the backroads and feel like you were racing.


Herogamer555

A BLT sandwich during prime tomato season.


Odd_Baseball175

When you pick out a stubborn sticky long piece of snot out of your nose that clears the airways,


Reefguy88

Those rare occasions where you can feel it break off from your brain and slide through your sinus on its way out….glorious!


beejamin

I once horked and coughed out a grey, slightly bloody, V-shaped impression of my sinus cavity and the sense of relief was just ... incredible. The sick fascination was fairly memorable as well - the thing had my internal wrinkles moulded into it!


tony78ta

The big blood clot after a nose bleed. Like a blood slug.


PassTheDisinfectant

Lol the ones that are damn near connected to your brain


[deleted]

Drinking cold water when you wake up hung over with a dry mouth


Familiar-Food-3295

Silence


3d1sd3ad

A really good back/neck crack


[deleted]

Those lower back pops are better than an orgasm


firebullmonkey

Being told „you‘re right honey“ without „the stare“ after, but with a genuine smile and a kiss. Keeps me going for weeks :)


bdbr

We'll have to take your word for it


ledbetter7754

- getting back scratched just in the right place - peeing after holding it long - that first sip of beer to start the weekend - one of those head scratcher things - finishing a project around the house and actually seeing people enjoy it and make use out of it - hitting a bomb drive off the tee straight down the fairway when there’s a crowd watching - getting hit on…and realizing you’re getting hit on


idontgiveaFdotcom

When the kids ain't home... sorry childrens...


MercenaryCow

Just... The power of touch with the person you adore most in your life.


TheTsalmavet

Having an afternoon (or hell, a full day) to yourself without any other responsibilities.


StormKing92

Picking up a slab of ice in one piece from something that’s frozen outside and then smashing it like glass. That’s nice. Makes me happy.


Mr_McShifty

Another orgasm.


Johno69R

When you significant other traces their finger along the skin on your back.


AgentCraig

The endorphins after an intense leg day at the gym, getting home, showering and then eating...just spectacular good feels


biimerge

Taking off socks after a long day and putting your feet in sheets.


Lyvectra

Honestly the answers to these types of questions makes me think an orgasm just isn’t all that interesting.


Some-Pomegranate215

Somebody helping you get better when your sick


[deleted]

Walking home drunk on a Friday night and taking that sweet first bite out of the many street tacos that you got from Jamal's shady food truck parked in that one shady back alley. For me at least this is the closest i come to an orgasm. Feels like I'm in paradise.


Unlucky-Pomegranate3

My wife admitting I’m right about something. Still haven’t popped that cherry.


Sloppygrilldchz

Getting my hair washed, had it a few times over the years, when they use their nails on your scalp it’s to die for. Tingles all down my body