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Chaos-n-Dissonance

Delivered to a hotel once. 70 year old dude with a 20-something year old girl. She answered the door in nothing but her panties. Took the pizza said thanks and tried to close the door. Barely got my foot in in time. She looked at me shocked, like wtf? Then I reminded her she still had to pay. Pissed off, she turned around to the guy and said "Give him the money". He walked up looking ashamed and paid. I think she expected seeing her topless to be worth $40... It wasn't. Another delivery I was following my GPS... And it took me down this country ass road. Then down an even more secluded side road. Then I was driving through a corn field in the middle of the night with the banjo from deliverance intensifying. Finally saw some headlights and it was a bunch of teenagers around a campfire. They all cheered as I pulled up, apparently they ordered from 3 places at once and I was the first one to arrive and had bets on which place would actually find them first (if any). They paid for the pizza and tipped with weed. Thought I was getting robbed, just got stoned instead. Another guy ordered a single cheesy bread... Fuck, not getting a tip on this order, probably some 16 year old with the munchies. Pack the order up and head out. The guy hands me a bundle of roses, a $20 bill, and says "I have a favor to ask you. My girlfriend is mad at me. She's at the pool. Can you deliver these to her and tell her I'm sorry?". Hid the roses in my bag, got to the pool, found her... Gave her the cheesy bread, the roses, and the message. She broke out laughing and called him immediately. Apparently he left the toilet seat up. I think they're gonna be OK. Not sure which of those are weirdest... They're all unique, in their own special way lol.


digest-this

I thoroughly enjoyed that, thanks.