I wanna at least outlive the Simpsons. Like I can't let the Simpsons outlive me
*70 years from now, the 100th season premieres, we see OP in their nursing home staring at the TV*
“JUST LET ME FUCKING DIE ALREADY”
"Let him die already so we can clear out the room and get rid of the old people smell."
Came here for ideas
The James Webb Space Telescope should be launching soon and might give us mindblowing new images of deep space... that's something
To become someone I can respect.
You have my respect, just for putting that thought into words
Great, now he has nothing to live for.
That was hilarious
My neurotic dog would be so upset if I died.
My dog was heartbroken when the rabbit died and she's attached to me like velcro. I can't imagine how she would handle losing me. Definitely for the dog.
Pets have a way of doing that. You’re their only protector, you are their guardian. In a way they depend on you and you can’t let them down
I’m still very curious about the world and how things might pan out.
This would be nice, Im still really interested in scientists revealing more of the secrets of the world like what hidden in our oceans or outer space
I was put on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I'm so far behind I'm basically going to be immortal.
My grandfather in law would say "I'm so far behind, it looks like I'm ahead."
To find a reason to or not to
I really liked a quote from Viktor Frankl "The meaning of my life is to help others find meaning in theirs."
His book is great. How purpose can literally change whether your live or die and the quality of life is an amazing idea.
Would definitely recommend it to everyone and it’s not too long either!
I have no idea
Edit: I had no idea a lot of people felt this way.
Edit edit: thanks for the awards. This comment is like all of my karma. I would like to thank my nihilism, general pessimism and my dead end job. I would like to thank the internet for maybe saving a few lives today. A lot of the time we think a lot of people do not feel like this and no one would understand. So for at least another month I will remember that I am not alone. I hope every one has a good day and if you have covid I hope you get better.
it's okay, same here
Hello, fellow person running on autopilot.
I really don't know
Valid. I don't know why I'm here. I don't know what I'm doing with my life, given that I'm alive. I don't know what to look forward to. Maybe it will become known - to me, and to you.
Perhaps that is a reason to stay alive in itself. Not because there is something to live for, but because you are yet to find that something.
I feel you.
The thread directly above this one is a reference to The BeeGees, with the some of the lyrics of Stayin Alive
For things to get better i guess, hopefully get married one day. Relationships never seem to work out for me though. Been real discouraged lately.
I'm right there with you buddy. Just terrible luck at love. It's discouraging but just one foot in front of the other. I wish to everything that we'll both find someone for us.
Agreed, tomorrow is another day and another chance at a good day at that. How old are you?
I’m 30 and just found someone I actually give a shit about. It can happen at any point and time though never give up.
It's gonna be okay mate
I really appreciate that, thank you. Love your username too.
My friends, mom, and Elden Ring.
I thought this said “my friend’s mom”
Because what if I’m wrong about it not getting better? I’ve been wrong about so many other things. I don’t trust myself that much.
Edit: Wow!! Thank you friends! Waking up to such kind words and camaraderie really warmed my small coal heart. I’m so grateful for every single thing that is keeping each of you tethered to existence.
I’ve also never received an award before so please excuse the faint weeping. 🥺
My thoughts on suicide are that I've already gone through so much bad stuff, it'd be a waste if I suffered through it for nothing. Might as well see if things will even out.
Go get em tiger.
I survived my suicide attempt and lost a leg in the process. Followed by a lengthy hospital stay and a year in a homeless shelter. I felt lower than low but I kept fighting. Now I feel happy and I love myself. Keep sticking with it and discover the power within yourself. Learn to love yourself and share that love with the world.
Outliving my enemies is the only satisfaction I need.
i'd be so pissed if i died before my evil twin.
Kill them. Problem solved and you can die happy
no, no, no. we'd probably just end up killing each other in some star-crossed jojo destiny bullshit or whatever. even worse.
If it were me, I would probably just get confused and kill myself cuz I look just like my twin.
Lol… on a serious note, that’s honestly very true for me. It’s like… spiritual spite. Like I’m not going to let life or my depression ruin me. So I keep going just to tell my past and pain to go fuck itself.
I thought this said sprite at first and I was like hell yeah
I would die for Sprite so others may continue to enjoy what I hold so dear.
“Why do you want to return this?”
“I’m not sure we can return things for spite.”
As funny as this was to me I relate to it so much
it's all I got left
Honestly? My ex committed suicide, the father of my children.
I couldn’t do that to my kids. I couldn’t hurt them like that. I can’t cause them that kind of pain and damage. It doesn’t matter how bad off I am, how much pain or anguish I’m in, it’s nothing compared to what they would go through if I died. So I carry on.
I'm really sorry that happened to you...
Hugs from an internet stranger. My little brother killed himself almost 10 years ago. I get it. The shrapnel and blowback from that still causes untold damage to this day.
I miss him horribly. He never got to meet my kids. He would have loved them. And they would have loved him. He would have been a great Dad too.
I feel really guilty more often than I'd like to admit because he and I never talked about suicide. I was older than him by a bit. I guess I wanted to protect him, so we never did. But in retrospect we had so much more in common than I ever knew.
I've had suicidal thoughts since as far back as I remember. I feel like shit that I still do now. I couldn't ever do that though. I couldn't put everyone through that. Only people who have survived through it have any idea of the pain and damage it causes.
It is so sad because every suicidal person thinks that the world would be better off without them and that their loved ones would cope and go on. In reality it's the opposite.
My brother probably thought, like I have, that not that many people would really care. That the people closest would be ok, and even better because they didn't have to carry the dead weight.
It shatters so many lives. It does irreparable harm, so much further than anyone can imagine.
If you are reading this and have thoughts of killing yourself: please don't. You are loved and the world is better with you in it. You can't possibly understand how much people love you. How much they would hurt if you were gone, and for how long.
Please. Read this. Trust me. And hang on.
I think it would kill my mom if I died.
I feel this exact same way. I still remember how my mom acted when my uncle (her older brother) passed away. I've never seen her in so much pain, literally screaming when she saw his body in the casket. I never want to put my mom through that.
I remember seeing my great auntie sobbing as she said goodbye to her sister (my great grandma). Just pain on levels I've never felt personally. I hope when the time comes, my wife dies first. I don't want her to feel the same pain I've seen from older couples losing their spouse. It'll kill her. I'll waste away into a drunken mess if she dies, but it's better than her losing me. Because for some weird reason she loves me and I don't understand how.
It would. There is no pain like the loss of a child.
This is me. My younger sister died of a stroke this year so if I’m out now, she’s definitely out too.
Edit: y’all are beautiful thanks for tha love
We’ve lost a child. Our living child lost their only sibling. Empathizing with what you may be feeling. I’m sorry for your loss.
Edit: My first ever award. Thank you, kind stranger.
Thank you for the kind words 🥰 empathy means a lot. A day at a time.
I'm so sorry. 😞
My Grandma lost two of her children, She lost one when he was 6 and the other when he was 40. The 6 year old died of a rare brain disease and the 40 year old was run over by his car.
I live in France and we have a bunch of WW1 and WW2 memorials, typically one in every other village, engraved with the names of the townsmen who died on the frontline.
You can see the list roll like “Jean Martin, Félicien Martin, Antoine Martin, Alphonse Martin...”. I always think, damn, there was a Mrs. Martin here at some point that saw 3 sons and a husband go, and nobody ever came back to her.
Frenchman checking in, this 100%. WWI memorials especially are everywhere. Every single village and the lists go on and on. I always have the same thought when I read several lines with the same names
It shouldn't be surprising how impactful it is, but it still catches me off-guard to see how long after the fact the effects ripple out.
Probably coming up to 40 years ago my dad got his first wife pregnant. Expecting a daughter. He was overjoyed when she told him, because he always wanted a daughter (and wanted to call her Georgina). He was less enthused a minute later of course, when she revealed she was going to have an abortion because she didn't want it. Ruined the relationship, which I suppose was good for me because it led to my dad meeting my mum and having me, but I didn't even know about this until a couple years back. It's clear it still eats away at him, because when he mentioned it, he couldn't maintain eye contact and had a mixture of resentment and sadness in his voice. Sorta addressed the abortion like a shameful matter of fact that was also a missed opportunity.
Made sense that when he got remarried for the 3rd time and adopted a step-daughter, he latched onto her quite paternally instantly. He spent so long, even after she permanently ostracised herself from the family, trying to be a great father to her. Like he was finally able to have the daughter he wanted. Which I suppose is why he became quite depressed when she moved out, pushed him out of her life and moved on without him. He still has his two sons, but I think he won't be fully satisfied until he has a granddaughter at this stage. Some things stick with you, I guess.
A good friend of mine died of meningitis when he was 18. His parents are both gone now, but I know they missed him for the rest of their lives.
You put everything into your children. I can't imagine doing that then losing it all in an instant.
I think of it literally everyday for what she has done to me and what things she has set for me in the future
-- Me..but then she passed away..
I'm so so sorry.
A year ago I had my “note” written, a plan made but decided not to because my mom has been though enough.
EDIT: thanks for all of the awards and kind words. I’m in a much better place now. Times are still tough but I’m getting by.
Thank you both for sticking around!
Burn the note if you haven't already, I hope u are doing alright, if u ever need help or support or just someone to vent or talk to, I'm here. Idk ur situation but let me tell u, it does get better, no matter what people say
Mom would be sad, best reason ever
Same. My mom is 75 and I’m her only child. She would give the world to me if she could and if I died (especially by my own hand), I don’t think she would ever recover. I love her so much I could never do that to her.
The only person who’d care if I died.
I just really enjoy paying taxes
I don't need a partner, the government fucks me in the ass everyday!
*uncle Sam sneaks in your room again
And that's why I sleep pantsless. Easy access.
Don't wanna be charged with obstruction of justice
This guys not Jimmy Carr
I'm staying alive because I'm afraid of what happens after we die. I guess I'm scared of the unknown...
This. I'm staying alive because I'm hoping that one day I will no longer be scared to die
Maybe I'll be scared forever, maybe not. It's worth a shot
Not in a suicidal way...like scared of the afterlife(whatever that is). There's always going to be a healthy amount of fear towards it. Not about the act of getting there purposefully
As my Great Grandmother told me before she kicked off into the unknown, "You'll spend your whole life afraid to die and if you get lucky and get the chance to be really old, you'll be ready to die." She lived to be 98 and was very ready. Arthritis, Back pain, hearing loss, failing eye sight, but a very clear mind until the end.
I’ve read a few askreddit threads about people who’ve died and been brought back, has made me feel a bit better. I’m also studying more about dying and it seems like it’s peaceful, when people are allowed to die how they want and without medical intervention. The body and mind prepares the person for death. Not eating, drinking, some people report delusions, things like that. I’ve put one of the threads up here
Edit: when I say how they want to die I mean when they have a terminal illness and they choose treatment or not treatment and if they want DNI and DNR orders. My post is not mean to discuss people that are thinking of dying by suicide
I talked to my grandmother on her death bed and she told me how beautiful her childhood home was. She wasn't talking in past tense, she was there reliving it. It was an incredibly jarring thing but it gave me peace that she was wrapped in a beautiful memory.
End of One Piece, and hopefully play psychonauts 3 if possible.
Damn, I never thought about it but maybe waiting to die until One Piece is finished is the secret to immortality.
End of one piece will be legendary its kind of like an end of an era.
I don't want my mom to cry. Or my sister to follow me.
“The only reason is my mom would be sad, and my dog wouldn’t understand”
-some wise Redditor.
I feel same. This comment brought tears to my eyes. Two months back I was admitted in hospital because of covid. I was in verge of dying. All I was thinking was my dogs won't understand why I'm not coming back. They'd keep sitting at door and wait for me when I get back from office or throwing garbage. They would do same except I won't be coming back to them.. oh that thought crushed me so bad. I was battling with death and thinking I betrayed my pups. I'm glad to be alive just for/because of them.
Edit : oh thank you so very much my dear kind redditors. Your comments made my day. I was in hospital visit for covid follow up when I read your replies. It made me cry with happiness. Stay blessed you all... keep safe. Keep wearing mask. Covid is real bitch. It fucked me real hard. Drained my finances. And made me weak as fuck physically. But I'm still kicking ✌🤞
I lost my job because of covid and couldn’t find a new good one. I have suicidal thought for a while now. The one big reason keeping me alive is my dogs. I can’t live without my dog and I would never left them for anything. I must live till the day they left me for doggo heaven.
Step dad killed himself, nearly broke my mom, all us kids HAVE to outlive her.
Edit. Obligatory my first gold! Kinda fucked up this what made it happen but don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
My brother killed himself, I spent a year paying my mom's bills. Now she lives with us and is working again.
My sister and I need to do the same as you. She's lost a brother, a few sibling in laws, a mother, a husband, and a son. We can't add to her sorrow.
Edit for any worried strangers: my sister and I are not suicidal. We just made a pact when my brother died to never do that (I do understand that depression doesn't always work that way, but it's our intention to make it so).
So much pain and grief to bear × bless! I'm so sorry.
That's the reason. The few who'll cry.
Just the idea of my little sister finding me is enough for me to step away from any ledge… she’s gone through so much and I can’t add to that list.
I had a suicidal relative. He said the only thing that kept him from killing himself was that it would break his parents. He's on meds now and mostly better. So parental love can be a deterrent!!
My wife and kids. We struggle terribly because my wife only has one kidney and it’s a donor kidney so she has a hard time working.
And one of our children is special needs which includes seizures and mental and physical delays. But I love them more than breathing.
They are the main reason I have never committed suicide and rarely have suicidal thoughts anymore.
Whats up tomorrow
Something new. Don't know to be honest.
Tomorrow isn't today. Call it existential FOMO....
:) wise words
Because even though life is probably pointless it’s the only game in town. I may as well play it.
This is 100% my mindset. We've already paid the entry fee, may as well see where it goes. Suffering is temporary and we're all ending up in the same place eventually.
Honestly, I'd love to see how *everything* unfolds. Just out of curiosity. I wanna know how far humanity makes it, what kind of things happen, etc.
One thing that depresses me most is I won’t be around to see how things end up (or keep going). That being said I intend to stick around as long as possible to see as much as I can. There’s a lot going on, might as well see what happens.
I feel this so much. I'm not actually that afraid to die. I'm a bit scared of the process of dying, but not death. But the FOMO is so strong.
Like, do we resolve our climate issues? Instead of resolving them do just say "fuck it" and make real life coruscant after becoming a multi planet species and start hauling resources from space rocks to earth. Do we end up just failing on all fronts? How?
Not knowing what happens after I am gone is so much more scary than being gone.
I know. It kills me that people lived and died in the 1600s and never got to see the miraculous and awesome shitshow that is the internet. And cars and smartphones and stuff. I hate to think of all the similar things I’m never going to experience.
It's funny, I've said similar things a million times. How sad is that that most people who have lived on the planet never had toilets. Or running water.
I'm sad for my past self because I'd never eaten Indian food til I was almost an adult. And I'm sad for my current self because I'm missing out on....who knows. But I'm acutely aware of it every second of every day.
its sad to think about things we won't ever experience, like gta 6
Only one answer: go ham and invent that shit that puts your brain into a robot to live indefinitely. Put my memories on a hard drive and transport it from robotic body to robotic body. Make a backup and then throw me into space?
Call me Frank Reynolds: Throw my body in the trash.
Hoping the afterlife is just an omniscient observer perspective where you can watch from the beginning of everything to the end
To quote what once was a great character from what once was a great show - death is so final, while life is full possibilities
If I died the simulation would end & all of you simulations would die. Therefore I live to keep all you imaginary people alive. You're welcome. Thank you for being a figment of my imagination. One day I'd spit in the face of the aliens who created this to keep me imprisoned & I guess I'll just leave you all in your fishbowl.
I read a terrifying Australian short story like this where a boy didn’t want to wake up from a dream because it meant everyone in it would die.
Edit: I’m not doing it justice, it was just awful to see him have to decide between staying asleep or waking up and thus killing the brother he didn’t actually have. The brother’s nickname was Possum and I am sad again
Link's Awakening, basically
That is also the premise of a Legend of Zelda game.
This is like the Lovecraft universe. The most powerful guy has to be kept asleep because he is dreaming up the universe and if he wakes up everyone dies.
Fucking Lovecraft man, mindtrips and terror, love it
So I'm just an npc in your game?
Well that's rich!
Stop! You’ve violated the law!
My son for sure. Before that, I had my dog. My dog definitely saved my life more than once, and my son changed my life completely. I don't even have those thoughts anymore
This makes me happy to hear and gives me hope
Hope is so hard to find when you're in the middle of it, when those thoughts are hitting the hardest. Then you'll realize one day there had always been reasons for hope. Just like there is always beauty around us, but it's hard to see when it's storming. And when the storm clears, that beauty is even more magnificent
But goddamnit my most precious sweetheart of a cat I raised for going on 2 years and she was taken from me and AHHHH
I'm sorry to hear that. Losing any loved one is incredibly hard
Same here. Every morning my son wakes me up he's crying because he's hungry, but the second he sees me, he gives me the biggest smile and then he babble-talks to me all morning. My heart melts every single day, it's unlike anything I've ever experienced.
My son turns 4 next week. Every morning he wakes up, comes in my room and says "good morning dad" and crawls into bed with me. So even on the days I wake up before him, I'll pretend I'm asleep just to hear those words
The dad version of pretending to be asleep in the car after a road trip so you got carried in to bed.
Absolutely! I didn't think about it like that, and it makes so much sense. That's awesome
Yea, my son's about it. Single dad-ing it too, for that added "reason to be".
I saw a post about a cat crying at his owners grave
I've had 2 cats for the past decade. The oldest one, Mufasa, found super tiny on the side of the road as a kitten. She would get straight up depressed, sulk and eat less if I wasn't around, just barely tolerated other people but I'm lucky enough to be the only human she ever loved. She passed away a couple months ago. Me and my younger cat Memow are just hanging on best we can now.
Sorry for your loss
Lol my cat licks my feet when sleeping. She would definitely eat me if I slept for more than 24 hours.
As a cat owner that lives alone, I’ve begun to have a slight fear that my cat will eat part of my body before anyone notices I’m gone. So my goal is to outlive my cat.
As much as people like to think their pets are too loyal to eat them. Their pets will 100% eat them.
If I were to suddenly die and my dog needed to eat me to stay alive, I hope they would. No sense in us both going if I'm already dead!
Fun fact: most of the time dogs and cats have eaten their owners, it hasn't been out of hunger, but out of anxiety. If you die, it's possible your pet starts licking you to see if you're okay, and the anxiety from you not responding might cause them to lick you so much the licking turns into biting, which turns into eating. So it does sound kinda bad that they might eat you even if there's plenty of food around, but it's just because they're frightened and want to help. Or that's what we tell ourselves to help us sleep at night.
No reason; maybe I'm just really lazy to end off my run, or I have some purpose that my conscious knows, but me myself don't. Idk
same. No matter how much my conscious mind has thought of ending it all, subconsciousness says no.
I can barely hold my breath or stop my heart from beating.
My wife, more specifically the daily hope she gives me that there is love and goodness out there in the world.
I agree with this. My wife is an absolutely amazing person. She gives me hope for humanity, gives me strength when I'm weak, lifts me up when I'm down, and gives me unconditional love and support every day. She is absolutely my "better half". As cliche as this all sounds she is my soul mate and hands down my best friend. It took a while to find her, but everything happens for a reason. I can't imagine life without her. For all of you out there that haven't found your person, don't give up. They are out there and you will eventually find them.
My hopes of becoming a Filmmaker
We’re all rooting for u man never give up
1. Fear of death
2. My girlfriend
3. I want a pet crab
Get yo self a pet crab my friend, that'd be dope as hell
This, taking genuine pleasure in learning about the world, the cosmos, makes me feel like the time here is worth living.
A very optimistic version, but yeah pretty much :)
Half-Life 3. You gotta believe.
My cat…. She wouldn’t know what happened to me and she would miss me so much… I can’t bear the thought of making her go through that
Same considering whenever I leave the house, my parents tell me that our cat howls and paces the house looking for me.
She was terribly abused before I adopted her and consequently she has severe separation anxiety when I’m not able to be with her for any length of times
I spent months in the Surgical Cardiac ICU and and Cardiac ICU after flatlining with complete heart failure.
There were so many times where the pain or the depression or the constant anxiety and uncertainty just made me want to give up and let go. But hearing from my mother and sisters that my dog was waiting for me, looking out the window all day, was a huge motivation to get me well and back home. They told me she sat on top of the couch looking out the living room window just waiting for me to pull in the driveway and often wouldn’t go for walks beyond the corner (I’m guessing because she was worried I’d come home and leave again without her). Every night she’d sleep for an hour or two with my mother and each of my sisters almost like she wanted to be there for them.
There were so many times when the thought of leaving her alone, without her ever knowing what happened to me, spurred me to keep on working to get better.
She is my best friend and we are always there for each other. I don’t know what I would do without her.
My cat. And he ran away two days again and I can't do anything about it and I'm devastated
So I can know who I am before I die.
This girl I like that told me she liked me back
One of the best feelings you're gonna experience. Go get her! I hope it works out and both of you find happiness.
For my grandparents. I want to make sure they are happy and healthy for as long as I can after everything they've done for me all my life
So good that you’re spending time with your grandparents! Also, they have a lot of learn from and most people don’t realize it
Exploring. The best part of life is how much stuff there is to do. Feeling bored? Go somewhere you haven’t, talk to people you’ve never met, eat something you’ve never had, try something you’ve never tried. Even if you haven’t found what drives you yet, there’s so much out there that it’s bound to be there.
elder scrolls 6
I really hope to live another 30-50 ish years. I am 37 right now.
* New movies and tv shows every single year
* New video games every single year
* There are new songs every year to listen to. And still lots of existing ones to listen to again.
* There are new jokes to probably hear every year.
* Probably some new kind of entertainment we don't have now.
* Maybe 1 day some legalization of more recreational drugs to try.
* I'd still like to go on some more walks, nature is nice and cool
* I'd like to see more stars, shooting stars, Hailey's comet, all the neat things you can see.
* There are probably gonna be more neat things like the Oumuamua that you hear about.
* There are still things I'd like to get better at (e.g. art, programming, writing, etc..)
* There are things I still want to build and contribute to the world.
* Sleep and dreams is pretty cool most of the time.
* I'd like to see some more sunsets and sunrises in my life.
* I want to see and share more kindness in the world.
* I don't have any pets right now, but I think I'd like to maybe get one at some point.
* Both my parents are still alive and I 100% don't want to die before them. Though I am 37. That'd just break them. :(
There will probably be cool new technologies, new milestones to be reached by humanity, that I think would be neat to witness and be alive when they happen.
* First humans on mars
* First colony on mars/moon
* The rise of self driving cars
* New AR/VR type systems
* Probably something that isn't obvious like some new kind of comfortable chair or kitchen appliance.
* To watch the rise and fall of some big companies
* To see how politics change over the next few decades good or bad
* To see how climate change effects the world. Good or bad
* There will probably be more noteworthy historical 'events' to happen in the next 30-50 years that none of us can predict specifically. In the last 20 years a lot, there have been tons of notable events, some shitty and bad and some pretty neat/cool.
I opened this hoping that all the comments would be filled with these kinds of things - cool stuff that folks know is on the horizon that maybe I hadn’t heard of. It was sad to see all the responses were more like the one thing or two standing between them and suicide. Thanks for sharing some of the wonders that humans have to look forward to.
To be fair, I just now realized that OP said "what's one thing you're staying alive for"
I had originally misread it as "What are things you're staying alive for" and that's what I responded to.
Also I think a lot of people took it with some suicidal undertones in OP's question, and I didn't personally take it that way. So I think maybe that's what prompted the more suicidal and single topic comments.
My girls. My son died and it would be so easy to just go and be with him. But I could never do that to my girls. They need me and I need them. They deserve a life with a healthy, present mother. That's what they will have. Hang in there everyone. ❤️
Myself; The fact that I’ve always had my own back and always will. I’m the one most reliable person that I can always count on. I’ve been at extremely low points and *loving me* was the only way out.
Anything external can be taken away or lost, but I will always have myself.
I love your response. your life shouldn't depend on someone else. there's a quote I once heard that stuck with me: "don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket".
Glad to see someone with the same energy.
When a teacher asked everyone in our class who their best friend was, I answered "myself".
It sounded cringe, but thinking back, that was what I truly felt.
My wife's chocolate chip cookies.
I like to think that I’m here for a reason and I just hope to benefit humanity for the better somehow. Like designing something that helps clean the earth from trash and clean oceans or making peoples lives better by bringing them some smiles or laughter. I think as long as you make someone smile or making someone happy you’re already in the process of benefiting the world.
To make 🎵 music 🎵
My masterpiece of a story I wrote. I’m soon gonna enter it in light novel contests in japan in hopes of getting it published!
As corny as it is, I met a new group of friends and started a new relationship semi recently that has guilt tripped me into staying. I couldn’t do that shit to them. I would hate myself even after I’m dead if I hurt them in any way.
Bread. I love bread.
My friend says if I kill myself they’ll kill me and weirdly that helps when I’m not doing too good
Promised my dad
to ensure my dog lives a good happy life. once shes gone idc what happens.
Spite. Pure fucking spite and rubbing my success in the faces of the kids who bullied me relentlessly or people who thought I wouldn’t make it.
Also my cats
I just found the will to live last year. I have so much catching up to do.
Don’t have the guts to end it.