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penadryl

I wanna stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes


princesssnder

The mind fuck is high with this one


Mavco2

ohhh this is my favorite so far


Laz_Lad

To run away and never look back. To cut all my relationships and start a new life.


BillsBayou

Yeah, but I realized that wherever I go, I take myself with me.


TheCrazyAlice

And therein lies the greatest problem.


DefNotAShark

I randomly saw a list of "cheapest beach towns around the world" last night, and now that I work remotely I can't stop thinking about ditching insanely overpriced American suburbia and ejecting to someplace like Thailand, Spain, Portugal or Morocco for a few years. Some of these places the rent is under $500 and cost of living is maybe 20% of what it is in the US. I could live in a cool, interesting and beautiful place for half the cost of a miserable one bedroom shoebox in the US. Very tempted once my lease is up.


Mysterious_Award_378

I did this for 10 years left canada and went abroad (south west china) There are good and bad things in doing this you will miss family things and your school and college friends. The place where you end up will see people co,e and go both expats thats are cool people and locals. Back in canada now and life is more stable but considerably less interesting


Le3e31

I kinda wanna steal a UPS car to open all these boxes they are delivering. Like a big mystery box opening.


Emotional_Writer

"Hey guys what's up, welcome to another unboxing video!"


captaingazzz

"So today we'll be committing a federal crime, so don't forget to smash that like button!"


Scruffy442

With the revenue some of those videos make, they could probably just buy an old UPS truck and do a fake unboxing vid.


MaxDamage1

I think someone near me did something like that, but legally. There was an Amazon trailer that caught fire on the highway and about a third of it burnt. They bought it somehow, I assume Amazon just wrote it off based on an estimate and junked it, and parked it in a closed lot. It was still full of packages. The back was burnt, the middle smoke and water damaged, and the front 3rd was untouched. It sat there for like a month, being emptied out slowly. I assume they were reselling everything they didn't want that wasn't too damaged.


sdnnhy

My buddy got a mystery Amazon box with his address but a different name delivered. He reported it and they said to keep it. We opened it up in longing anticipation and it was........ s slip and slide!


Lord_Antheron

I don't know. I guess a Ring of Power would be pretty great. It'd be fun to amass an army with it.


[deleted]

Who doesn't occasionally fantasise about casting ruin upon the realm of men


Emotional_Writer

Melkor Moment^(TM)


WonderfulSpecific601

Just Ainur Things


HockeyKong

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men, doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne and none for Gretchen Weiners, goodbye!


Jackielegs93

I don’t know why I want to know what it feels like to be stabbed but I want to know what it feels like to be stabbed


PretendThisIsMyName

I’ve been stabbed twice. Personally I didn’t know once because I didn’t feel it and wasn’t able to see it (was also drinking that night). And the other time it was pretty goddamn obvious because I could see my kneecap but I didn’t really feel that one either. The weird thing is the stitches were worse than the stabbing.


ToyotMR2

can confirm, pretty much feels like nothing until you see your own blood and the adrenaline rushes in, managed to stab myself in the leg as a teenager


smoochwalla

When I got stabbed it happened so quick that I didn't even realize I'd been stabbed. I'm sure it's not the same for everyone but it's not as bad as it looks. Unless you die. Thats bad.


thiney49

Depends how sharp the knife is as well. It's obviously not quite the same, but when I sliced off part of my finger with a very sharp chefs knife, I didn't realize it until I saw the blood.


Eddje

And this is why they invented the guillotine as a humane way to execute people


smoochwalla

Thing kills you so fast, it's said your brain can still process stuff as it's looking at your body.


literallyjustatire

Ferb I know what we're gonna do today


OUTRAGE_SWAMPERT

That's simple, go and chop some wood or cook something. eventually you'll slip up and cut yourself, and you won't even know when.


tomatoaway

"You see son, being stabbed is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman..."


AreYouOkZoomer

You bleed a lot?


stellaluna92

I would like to start out with: I would never actually do this. But... I really want a house, but I'm a poor person, so I concocted a plan to murder the people in a house and then show up when it's for sale. I figure a haunted house will be cheaper. If I picked a house that's too nice I may need to repeat to bring the price down. The realtor will say "you know.. there have been a lot of murders here.." and I'll just have a secret smile, knowing I'll be safe.


Copper857

I like your ideas about how real estate works lol


Teriyaki_Chicken

Realtors hate him!


Take_The_Merch_not_L

see how he bought a 2 story house with just 250$!!


tatonka645

Plot twist, you are killed by the ghosts of your murder victims.


SazzOwl

Who you gonna call?


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_________FU_________

To walk out my front door and not stop walking. Drop my phone and just fucking go.


KirinG

Become a hermit/witch in a cozy little cabin in the mountain. or Die in my sleep tonight.


fish_penis

My deepest darkest desire is to never have been born.


WarLizurd

You and me both, fish penis.


You-Get-No-Name

To be an ageless vampire. Really.


HighQueenOfFae

Oh what I'd do to be an ageless vampire


cardinalkgb

Drink lots of blood I assume.


ThatsFluke

reject humanity!


You-Get-No-Name

This one gets it!


Blayro

And then pose dramatically while whispering: "Wryyyyy...."


Orylus

Remember that scene in Mean Girls where Regina makes copies of the burn book and it results in the whole school fighting; all while watching the chaos she created? I'd love just once to do that and watch the world burn.


TheBoringRogue

To live in a cave on the land of a rich man and be a hermit. Occasionally paraded to guests for their amusement


DedleRichter

Maybe have a collection of your fathers and forefathers skulls in the hopes that your heirs will do the same and polish your skull regularly? Maybe practice abstinence until you have vacation? Sounds good to me!


Sazcat28

Watch out that the local kids don't steal the skulls of your forefathers!


jaytea86

I used to work with a women who's dream this was. To live in a small shack on a wealthy person's land and basically be a witch.


Lee1138

I mean, I wish I was wealthy enough to have a personal private witch on my land to flex at parties.


bigk777

"Oh that person over there? That's my private witch. Does not take kindly to.... visitors....you've been warned." *Flings cape in a dramatic fashion while doing a 180° and walking away*


sammywammmy

to be kidnapped by a mafia leader so he can fall in love with me and ill be the mafia queen


Appropriate_Owl_5610

So... one of those Wattpad MCs?


sammywammmy

thats where the desire formed…


Scribblescrab3

To buy WinRAR


Masque-Obscura-Photo

The fuck is wrong with you!?!?!


Rondine1990

Nothing i can tell without alerting some kind of suicide hotline. Life has been rough, and no I’m not suicidal, just really really tired of everything Edit: Thank you all for your kind words, its good to know you are not alone. Don´t worry i will keep going, i always do somehow... Edit edit: I REALLY appreciate all of you, and your advises, I´m German so pardon my bad English. I won´t answer to all of you, but i promise i read every single comment and take it to heart.


Andrei-Paul

Take a break. Build an igloo.


astrogy034

It really works! -a Canadian who builds igloos every now and then


Uztta

I really kind of feel this one. As I’ve gotten older I’ve really come to feel like everything is meaningless. I go to work and go home, I make just enough to live a middle class life, but it’s my business and I regularly have to put in 10 hour days. I don’t enjoy it, I don’t enjoy anything. I’m not about to step off of a building, but I’m overall just ambivalent about being alive.


MakeTVGreatAgain

I have this fantasy where everyone in my office kicks in $10 for the Mega Millions. Everyone except my boss and that asshole from IT that no one can stand. The next day we hit the jackpot, $500+ million gets divided up. We all quit. The business closes. My boss looses everything, and IT asshole has to just go look for a new job.


SnodePlannen

There's a book in this


OliveTheory

I was thinking a movie. With Danny McBride as the asshole IT guy. Definitely with a mullet. "Look, Sharon. I got a lot of shit to handle today, and your stupid fucking mouse isn't one of them."


SpecialistFact

Now im wondering if im a cool it guy or people just talk to me because they have to


Zenar45

You're cool


rawsonnick05

I want to dig up bodies like Edgar Allan Poe and Picasso just to see how they look and what they were buried with (edit I meant to put van Gogh not Picasso I was just making examples of some people)


hetep-di-isfet

Archaeologist here, can I interest you in our lord and saviour Lara Croft?


zyzyzyzy92

Question. When does archaeology turn into grave robbing? Asking for a friend.


TheCurrentsofSpace

Grave robbing turns into Archaeology when you aren't sure whose buried there anymore


salty_carthaginian

When you are no longer licking the bones for “scientific purposes”


panicattherestaurant

I’d like to know what it feels like to be hit by a lighting. But I’m also kinda scared if I think about it too much, it will eventually find me because both my grandpa and my mom have gone through it (and survived it). So I kinda don’t really want to follow the tradition because I know it very well could happen to me. Does that make sense? Ps: happened to my grandpa twice.


valhallasleipnir

How the hell did it happen three times in your family in such a short span of time?


panicattherestaurant

I’ve no idea. Believe me, this question hunts me too. The most bizarre part is this grandpa was my father’s dad. So, he wasn’t related by blood to my mom. To my understanding, same grandpa was known for stopping watches and clocks. Like, all kind of them. If he spent a certain amount of time near them, they would just stop. He was such a character.


valhallasleipnir

You sound like a tv series person with the big secrets family lol


ICBPeng1

So this isn’t necessarily dark, but it’s definitely odd. I want to open a school for gold diggers. Basically take in women/men who have no ambitions further than marrying rich and teach them everything that the “perfect assistant/wife/husband of a rich man/woman” needs to know how to do. Things like household management, handling of appointments, memos, calls, etc. Get them work as assistants/secretaries to practice, and then when they graduate and are like, “finally I can go get a husband/wife” I can be like “surprise! You’re an extremely qualified executive assistant! Now go support yourself” Just trick people who have no ambition/confidence in their skills into becoming highly qualified professionals.


Appropriate_Owl_5610

Chaotic good


Jcavin86

To get away with the perfect crime. A heist of some kind. I think I could do it with enough preparation.


mtdewrulz

I’ve always thought that if I put a bunch of movie-heist-like planning into burglarizing a rich person’s house (Moderately rich. Not someone too powerful) rather than a store or a bank then there would be very little chance I’d get caught.


Excelius

I mean that's basically the MO of the wet bandits in Home Alone. That wasn't exactly a middle-class neighborhood there, those people were definitely loaded, but it wasn't gated estates with guards either. Probably a neighborhood full of surgeons, mid-level executives, medium-sized business owners.


mtdewrulz

Hopefully my plans won’t be foiled by a precocious child!


Divine_Godesss

To know what everyone around me thinks so I know exactly what to say to them


Careless_Ad_7891

That sounds like a curse in disguise.


LEEVI_2007_2

Selective mind reading could fix the issue.


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xX_fis_Xx

I only want to know that for certain people


xxminie

I want to kill my shitty customers sometimes I guess edit: i know this is a universal thing lmao but my point was my only dark desires are wanting to legitimately kill and torture certain people lol.


splitfinity

Welcome to retail!


Magda_Sophia

When I was five I assumed it would be "to defrost an entire tub of icecream and then drink it." This is clearly TOO dark as I've been an adult for way too long, but never actually done it. Edit: so it turns out we're ALL quite obsessed with drinking melted icecream


Aleczarnder

I have done this by accidentally leaving a Ben & Jerry's in the fridge instead of the freezer. Its like a very thick and delicious milkshake. Its also a very good way of devouring over 1000 calories in record time.


unidan8505

>1000 calories First time?


Abradolf1948

That's how Rob McElhenney gained all that weight for Mac's character in Always Sunny.


GardenGnomeOfEden

Ryan Gosling did it, too. But he went overboard and lost the part he was trying to get: >"I was 150 pounds when [Jackson] hired me, and I showed up on set 210 pounds," Gosling said. "We had a different idea of how the character should look. I really believed he should be 210 pounds. I was melting Haagen Dazs and drinking it when I was thirsty." https://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/ryan-gosling-fat-lovely-bones/story?id=12313213


PretendThisIsMyName

Nah homie he was cultivating mass with chimichangas!


among_apes

That is literally how Rob Gained so much weight so quickly in it’s always Sunny in Philadelphia when they decided that Mac was going to get fat. He realized that he couldn’t eat enough calories and it took too long to eat frozen ice cream so he decided to melt a gallon and drink it every day. He put on weight really quick and when it was time for him to lose weight he just stop doing it and instantly shed 20 pounds. Edit: Once he shed the initial weight (when he stopped literally drinking a gallon of ice real a day) he had to work his ass off to get get the rest back off. It’s way harder for most people to shed weight than to put it on.


commanderjarak

"I’m gonna break it down for you, because it’s actually quite simple, and anybody can do this. Anybody on the planet can do this. First thing’s first: if you have job—like a 9-5 job—quit that. Do you like food? Forget about that. Because you’re never going to enjoy anything you eat. Alcohol? Sorry. That’s out. So what you need to do—you have a chef, right? like a personal chef?—make sure the chef makes you a lot of chicken breast. And make sure you keep your caloric intake at a certain level. And as you go to your physician 2-3 times a week—just to monitor all your testosterone levels—because testosterone is important to building muscle. You’re good friends with the trainer from Magic Mike? Arin Babaian. So you want to give Arin a call. And you want to make sure he’s at your house and takes you to the gym at least twice a day, because you’re gonna want to do your muscle-building in the morning and then your cardio in the afternoon. Now, do you have a family? Like a significant other or kids? Yeah, forget about them. You’re not going to have time to deal with them." "So that’s really all you have to do. And make sure you have a studio pay for the entire thing, because it could become exceptionally expensive. So, I think if you just do all those things, then you too can have an absolutely unrealistic body type, such as me."


Glass_Chance9800

You can still do this but you have to work your way up to it. Start with like melting a popsicle then work your way up to a Ben & Jerry's container and then keep going up from there


Magda_Sophia

maybe I've just given up on my dream too easily then


criminallscum

I want to clone myself and make love to it


Assorted-Interests

Man, you must have taken it really personally when whoever it was told you to go fuck yourself.


lkodl

"Go fuck yourself!" Actually, I'm in a committed relationship with my clone, and we make love. It's loving, compassionate, and fulfilling. Don't cheapen it, sir. "Wait, what?"


apparentchild

I walked in on a man having sex with his clone. They were startled and started trying to explain. I said, "No need to explain. You do you."


YeetMeister323

I feel like it’s even more… strange, that you don’t say that you want to fuck your clone, you want to make *love* to it. You want to have passionate, loving sex with yourself.


Notfuzz45

I wish more cities would embrace “dark sky” practices so that we could reduce light pollution and more people could appreciate the night sky


Adora_Vivos

I approve of your literal-mindedness.


Toucan_Toucan

To be hit by a car or otherwise seriously injured enough to end up in hospital for a while. Nothing to cause long term harm, but something that I could recover from after a few months. I just want a break from life, it’s so exhausting pretending to be happy. I guess it’ll also reveal the people in my life that actually care about me, and those who are lying. Edit: For posterity, I know that this is a unhealthy mindset and definitely not something to aspire to do. Logically I don’t want this to happen, but emotional sad brain says otherwise - hence why it’s the ‘darkest’ desire lol! Thanks to all the people who reached out. I am currently seeing a psychiatrist, I’m at the beginning of my mental health journey~ If you are experiencing depressive or suicidal thoughts please reach out to those around you for support, and seek professional medical help.


sylvaticadabra

Getting in the car and just driving away was the step before what you describe here for me. I'm going to quote my answer to someone else here. >I had this, and still do to some extent. For me it was the precursor to passive suicidal ideation which eventually became active. It was an early sign of depression. >I'm not saying that's your path, but anyone who has these thoughts from the perspective of a sense of desperation and feeling a bit trapped should consider this and think about speaking to someone professionally. For me, it was driving away. Then it was driving into a tree. Not to die, just to rest. Just to have a REASON everyone could see and not argue with that being alive hurt and having a reason I could point to for pain. It's for me, internalized stigma to a small extent but also a symptom of society not respecting or even recognizing the depth of pain that depression offers. Everyone knows you need help when your arm is broken, but if I'm smiling, laughing and successful every day none of them can see the pain I feel from depression, anxiety and loneliness. People want to sign your cast and open doors for you in crutches. But people shift their gaze and their feet when you just can't stop crying or you say you feel numb inside. This fantasy of being hurt in a way that wasn't my fault would worsen for me over time, but I am okay enough right now. It was a way of saying I want to show my wounds, they hurt and I don't think anyone sees. I want a break from pretending I'm not in pain, not a break from life the way everyone interpreted it. Duh, life goes on, hospital bills would be an issue, I'd lose my apartment, etc. So, I guess I'm saying I fucking see you. And I'm sorry. It hurts, eh? I know.


Space_Drogon

Are you okay bro?


Toucan_Toucan

lol I dunno dude, but I’m working on it - tbh I thought feeling like this was normal as a kid, just now realising that not everyone is secretly sad all the time


Lord_Viktoo

You might want to see a specialist, mental health is important.


Toucan_Toucan

I definitely agree! Been in and out of psych offices for ADHD ever since I was young, but I only recently started to take my depressive tendencies seriously. The first step is admitting you have a problem ya know


mirroku2

To be retired. I just want to not work and be able to enjoy life. Generally when I say this people get angry and act like I'm some sort of villain.


iriedashur

Withdrawing all my money, cutting/dying my hair, and buying a tiny house in the middle of nowhere along a highway in the super rural US. Work part time at a liquor store and adopt an old dog, spend the rest of my time playing video games. Being friendly with everyone but never forming any attachments. Move every few years to facilitate this.


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cotch85

My step mum was like this but almost everyday mentally and emotionally, not sexual thankfully. She would say shit about my real mum call her a cheating slut, tell me that she didn't love me thats why she didn't take me with her. I would then obviously lose my temper and react to it only for her to tell my dad i started it and then he would beat me with his slipper or belt. We would go like to the beach for the day and everyone would have lunch except me, she would claim she "forgot" to pack me one. Dad never really gave a shit, i remember one time his best friend was outraged and took me to buy lunch. Unlike you though i don't want them dead because i know whilst i have to battle my demons daily, she is lonely and miserable. She has NOTHING in her life and people have seen her for what she truly is. I want her to live that horrid life for as long as she can. I hope you are living a better life now.


BrainArrow

The cruelest prison is the one we build for ourselves


notNIHAL

So sorry to hear that. Did she get away with all of this?


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Mikkabear

I have this urge to get in my car and start driving and never stop. Ghost everyone who ever knew me, even though I have people who would miss me, pets to care for, and responsibilities to loved ones who depend on me to be here. I just want to be anyone else. EDIT: I thought y’all might wanna know; I started a playlist with everybody’s lyric quotes and song suggestions and we’re up to 1 hr and 28 minutes of running away music. EDITEDIT: I use Apple Music for my tunes, hope this link works for everyone. Some of it is my own favorite driving music. [https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/abscond/pl.u-aZb00V5FPGvzPN0](https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/abscond/pl.u-aZb00V5FPGvzPN0) EDIT^3: [Now there’s a Spotify version!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4duk7ON74y4Hl8nYYkfqUp?si=mWx0bOMORsOY3SHqmxm7eA&dl_branch=1&nd=1&utm_medium=organic&product=open&%24full_url=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Fplaylist%2F4duk7ON74y4Hl8nYYkfqUp%3Fsi%3DmWx0bOMORsOY3SHqmxm7eA%26dl_branch%3D1&feature=organic&_branch_match_id=969873137467810883) courtesy of u/thenb28501


redletterday94

I have this exact same urge at times too. Sometimes while driving to work or something I’ll just have a passing thought like “what if I just skipped this exit and just kept going, didn’t call or tell anyone.” Not sure if it’s something I would actually do in reality, but I always think about what I might do if I actually did


suburbanpride

I get this from time to time, but usually at night. Like, I'll run to the store or something, then on the way home I'll get hit with a thought like, "What if I just kept driving through the night? Wonder where I'd end up..." and for a brief second I want to do it. Then I think of my family at home and decide I'd rather be there.


CAElite

Been there, ended up a 6 hour drive away when I ran out of road & it started getting light again, had to sleep in the car & phone in sick the next day. Wasn't in a great place at the time.


suburbanpride

Hope you're in a better place now, fellow redditor.


Raisedkaine

I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse, but I did almost exactly this. I moved 9000 miles away from home. Only told my parents and a close friend. I felt better for a while, but your problems will follow you no matter where you go. Positive mindset is a lot more important than where you live (with some obvious exceptions like living in a disaster area or wartorn country). Usually you don't have to go anywhere to be happier, you just need to work on being happier where you are right now.


moonboundshibe

“No matter where you go, there you are.”


HerbertKornfeldRIP

This is one that used to happen a lot more often. People (often men) would just peace out on their entire lives, move two towns over, and start over. Sometimes they’d even keep both lives going at the same time. It all sounds crazy, but ask your parents or grand parents about people they knew with secret families and I guarantee they will have at least one story about someone they knew. The internet, social media, and divorce lawyers have made this much harder to pull off currently.


greoffy

My best friends father fell in love with his babysitter and had another family and ghosted his first family. My friend’s mother was the babysitter.


some1american

The problem is that you can ghost everyone you know but you can't ghost yourself.


__Wasabi__

This but hop on a plane. But I have loving husband and 3 beautiful kids and a fat cat. Once in a blue moon crosses the mind tho. Like what if? And just disappear. To a foreign country in a rainy alley at night with people and night life buzzing around you. You get drunk on the night sky, reminiscing about the past. Then after some time you wake up one day and miss your family. Realise you fucked up. Check on Facebook to see how they doing. What's this? Your husband got remarried and your kids have a new mum. Everyone seems happy. You try to feel happy for them. Everything is for the better. Your sense of purpose disappears. As does your mind into that dark rainy alley. Is this all there is? You ask yourself. It's too late to go back, to turn around. Only way way forward, down into the tracks onto the next oncoming train. EDIT: I am so overwhelmed and greateful for the encouraging words from everyone. You guys have no idea how much this means to me and from anonymous strangers online... I hope you know that you have MADE my whole day Edit: part 3 down below Edit: finale is up. Thank you everyone for your kind words :)


Dr_Doctorson

Ok I'm in, what happens next?


__Wasabi__

Oh next? Haha ok You wake up disoriented the hospital light piercing your eyes. The nurse panics and calls for doctor. I'm told not to move too fast in broken English everything hurts but also numb. Your mind is far from clear. I'm explained I was lucky to survive but unfortunately... They didn't have the words to continue... You look down. You notice your left leg and half your left arm is... You panic. Then. Light a bolt of lightning it hits your brain, you remember. You walked into the train. What? I survived? This can't be happening. Panic setting in stronger now. You're finding it hard to breathe. The heart beat monitor starts to beep. The doctors calling for back up. They look worried and talking in a language you can't understand. You can hear your heart beat stronger, the panic attack is overwhelming, you can't move, you lay down, you feel your whole body sweat. No. This can't be happening. You look around for a sharp object to end the agony but you can't move. Your eyes close. You pass out to the hospital sounds, the pain and the agonizing panic. The last image that hits your mind is the photo of your family you left behind.. smiling with their new mother.


__Wasabi__

3 years and 4 months have now past. Rehabilitation took almost 2 and a half years to recover. The past 3 years are a blur. After a long recovery you learner to walk with the prosthetic, although you can move it feels foreign and cold, just like the hospital, this foreign land, just like that night down that rainy alley. It wasn't just physical recovery, there has been extensive psychiatric road to recovery as well. You stopped taking track of the medication, just take whatever is prescribed. The more it numbs the mind the better. The liquor store around the block became one of your only places to leave the house on your own decision now that you've been discharged from the hospital. The medical debt is cutting through you like a knife in the back of the throat but it hard matters at this point. Financially you keep to a minimal, it isn't necessary. The nurse visits on occassion for a check up and you feint a deliberate optimism to try to convince her not to send you back to the psychiatric facility. There's no freedom there and most importantly, no alcohol. You've given up on checking that Facebook page, you haven't reached out to anyone from the past in over 3 years. A thought crosses your mind... How old are they now? My daughter must be graduating high school soon, what will she do after? And my sons? How are they getting along with their new mother, they are younger, they must have become closer and more accepting of her, perhaps even.. love her? My cat must be too old now.. I wonder if he's still.. yes. Perhaps a cat will bring me some joy in this life but then.. no. I don't deserve the companionship of another, especially when they will rely on me and if something was to happen again.. as you think of this to yourself you take another sip, then another, and another.. before you know it your eyes begin to close and again you're back in another world of dreams, the closest thing in life to death, the stillness of the night.


MiscPostThrowaway

Bravo, you’ve got a gift. I wasn’t sure how you’d continue the story after the whole walking into the oncoming train part, but you dug deeper.


giggity_giggity_g00

to be crushed by female* thighs


BirdBrainedHomunculi

They said darkest, not dankest


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bound82

Live in the woods, learn how to gun smith, and hunt for a living. The dark part is to ghost everyone I know and never come back.


maciej_telecaster

Making it into history books through committing a very publicised crime. The thing that spoils that fantasy is that I don't want to serve any time in prison, let alone life, and the chances that it'd be that way are just too high. Also, I'm still young, can make history in other, more conventional ways. EDIT: what the hell, why is one of my stupidest posts on reddit my most upvoted one. Grateful anyways \^\^


cinnapear

1. Set your friend up as having committed a very public crime. 2. "Catch" them. 3. Profit.


AmbitiousZucchini93

Mine isn’t very dark. I have 4 kids, I would simply like to play Just Dance without one of my kids trying to take a Joy Con or inevitably deciding they need a snack right when I’m leading the dance without having to wait until they are all asleep and I’m too tired. Not much to ask for but it’s like a forbidden pleasure when you have so many kids. Lol.


ABEGIOSTZ

If I could do anything I think I would… shrink myself to the size of a mouse. I’d leave the world of men behind me forever, and live amongst the mice. And I would bring technology in and art to those uncultured swine. And I would build tiny tools for their mouse hands made from toothpicks and marshmallows. And I would be there king, NAY, their prince. GILDEROY THE MOUSE PRINCE! Ruling from my grand castle inches high, carved from the finest cheeses. And there I would dwell with my three mouse wives, and my twelve mouse concubines. Oh, but the wars we’d have with the frogs, terrible, just terrible. Those metal mice warriors, the atrocities they’ve seen. Yes, that is my dream… My secret dream.


Rdikin

Just sounds like beastiality with extra steps


deletedUser42069

nice try Lucifer


rettaelin

Yep, even with a British accent am not telling.


PretendThisIsMyName

DETECTIVE!


myspacebuns

Now I can't get Tom Ellis's beautiful face out of my head


ElderitchWaifuSlayer

A complex one I see... but let me ask you... what do you TRULY desire


Envojus

I've scrolled a bit and didn't see anywhere mentioned, since it's one of the more popular "dark desires". I actually desire power the most. To have enough money, to not have to submit to anyone. To be able to influence my suroundings and make an impact and etc.


kie_m

Cheese burger


SomeGodlyFish

I know it said darkest desires but jeez man, you've gone too far


chillin1066

For everyone in this house to turn off a light switch once in a while. Seriously.


iloveFjords

That’s dark.


l19mxd

So sit in a room completely black, like to to the point my eyes are sooo big and I still can’t see anything and soundproofed so I can’t hear anything… and to see how long I can last there…


KiraIsGod666

They've done white room versions of this - it can lead to serious mental issues lol


l19mxd

Who says I don’t have these already….


thenoicedevice

To eat a KitKat like it was a slice of toast. No separating the fingers or anything, just straight through the middle


Dugular

I've done it. It is satisfying. Your mouth feels more full of chocolate waffery goodness that a single finger can never match. Please don't ever take this comment out of context.


Oldnavylover

Taking away my abuser’s last peaceful moment on their deathbed by revealing I haven’t forgotten what happened to me as a child. They’re about to pay for that in the afterlife. Edit: *Welp*. Couldn’t have anticipated such kindness and support from you lovely internet strangers, thank you so much. And yes, as some have guessed: they are a family member and I’ve not worked through the trauma yet. I was 6 when it started and am 31 now but just started therapy.


joshselbase

You’re letting them off easy. Expose them to whoever they still know on this Earth


viele_biere

That should not stay a fantasy!


Lowslowcadillac

Have “fuck you” amount of money. With them, I can make all my dreams come true, and especially darkest desires, not that I have one besides to buy my own happiness.


[deleted]

eat the last slice of pizza


Scribblywitch_994

To get a tattoo. My stepmother DESPISES tattoos. My relationship with my parents is rocky, but it's steadily improving. But my childhood prior (and after) meeting my stepmum has been difficult. I lost my mum to cancer, was bullied a lot. In a sense I felt like I was forced to grow up too fast. I feel a great divide in culture between myself and young adults my age because I became very reclusive and lonely and anxious and missed out on a LOT of things my generation was excited about. I thought 'Well if I can't be a child, I'll be an adult'. But what I thought was being an adult was very romatizised in my head compared to what it's REALLY like. I learned to fight a battle alone that nobody knew or understood. Where I was simultaneously a child and an adult, but never a middle ground like a teenager. There were a few times where I wanted to just die because I felt so alone. People around me grew up and I was left to find out what it means to grow up on my own. But in spite of a horrible situation and a great loss of what could have been, I prevailed. I'd get a unicorn reared up to fight as my tattoo, as it represents the child in me who despite all the chances I could have taken to just end it all, survived. But, it would also represent my will to keep fighting against the cruelty of fate and to use my gift of life to continue to help others. I'd probably put it on my neck or my shoulder.


masqueryde

For my creepy stalker ex to die


Ill_Gas4579

Serial Killer but for Muderers and Rapists


FishCakes4Xmas

So...Dexter?


sniertom

Damn Dexter's Lab got a saucy new adaptation


baenpb

New Curtains. I'm sick of waking up every day with the sun in my eyes.


spragual

Seeing other people’s darkest desires Edit: omg 1k likes this kinda blew up lol


ThaBenMan

Well, you are in luck!


Hunk_n_Butt

To get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I would make a deal with the devil for it.


Thisismyusername89

To be able to eat all the food I want without getting fat or unhealthy…Yeup, that’s my darkest & deepest desire. What can I say, I love McDonald’s and chocolate 😄


seretastic

Sometimes I just want to say fuck everything and become a crackhead. Life seems harder for them, but also simpler in a way. You have one focus, and that's getting high. Everything else comes second. Just want to absolutely destroy my life and say fuck all. My son and SO keep me sane enough for this to just be a desire I lock up deep inside


Apprehensive_Paint90

As a prior heroin addict (clean 5 years) I can confirm that it is simpler. You’re brain is literally like zombified and it’s all you think about. no real concerns for other people’s well-being and often times, even your own. It’s just business as usual and then you feel really good. Crackheads are paranoid though Go for a drug that actually makes you feel good lmao. No don’t it ruins your life. But in recovery there’s a saying among people who’ve been clean for years “life doesn’t get easier it gets easier to deal with” there’s a reason people do drugs you go on autopilot and years go by without you even noticing. No conscience no problem! Please don’t do drugs lmao


etherkiller

Big yep from me too. Had the exact same thought as the person that you replied to, went down the heroin road. Really wish I had those 10 years back, but what can you do? Clean for 3ish years now myself thankfully. I certainly do miss aspects of it though.


BlackTheNerevar

A dirty gangbang maybe. But fantasies are often more appealing than reality. So who knows. Edit: i would only gangbang people I know. Safety before pleasure!


krymaar

To know what happens after death


losehername

Idris Elba.


Redwine_chocolate

He’s aware of the effect he has on you.


alienvisionx

So many The Office references in these comments


Sirexium

I wanna live.


OUTRAGE_SWAMPERT

Are you a vampire?


bigboibogai

Sex with my [email protected]


alan2998

Hes home schooled.


Impressive-Ad-7180

did he stutter


Channel250

Yes, but they used orphans for that experiment so it didn't count


RedN00ble

The darkest one is the climate change to fuck things just enough to have a nice post apocalyptic travel season and then help rebuild a nice society for the survivors.


lan0028456

Nice try FBI, I'm not giving it


[deleted]

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