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[serious]How do you deal with people who invalidate you in subtle ways such as intentionally misinterpreting what you say or suggest you have hidden agendas or in other ways?

[serious]How do you deal with people who invalidate you in subtle ways such as intentionally misinterpreting what you say or suggest you have hidden agendas or in other ways?

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Dummydorf

I say, “Yes Dear.”


TheFlayerDuder

Ignore them. They don't know you.


Myardraug

Ignore them. We cannot control the behavior of others who act like this in the way you would expect yourself to respond if you were the instigator. Your actions give, or take away, the power of their invalidation and manipulation. Simply ignore them. Yes, it’s annoying/frustrating but if you continue to control the response to their actions they’ll be forced to try something else or eventually cease. Practice a positive inner monologue as a countermeasure (“I *am* being clear, I *have* this intent, I *don’t* owe anyone justification to my thought process) and be sure your mental health is taken care of :)


kazutomaxzero

But in what topics do they do that to you?


malice-in-wunderland

There's no silver bullet, it depends on the nuances of the situation and people involved. One thing I have done is ask the person to clarify what they meant, over and over until there is no ambiguity left. If their game is to make subtle jabs they will likely feel self conscious by the end of the process, particularly if there is a group of people whose conversation had been derailed waiting for this person to explain themself. Needless to say that this can backfire if the personalities and situation don't call for it, but it can be very effective.


Shallow-ishPuddle

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy" and keep doing what I'm doing.