T O P

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Quiet_Neck_2947

Shape-shifting.


fluxxhunter000

Every time you return to your original form you become 1% smaller


magaloopaloopo

He could just shapeshift to a bigger version of himself


fluxxhunter000

Shhhh


Quiet_Neck_2947

Sounds like an awesome trade. I will never change to normal form then.


fluxxhunter000

So your family or significant other won’t ever recognise you again?


Wingman5150

new form to default to, easy


fluxxhunter000

Happy birthday


Wingman5150

oh, it's my cake day, that's my account's birthday, not mine, but thank you


fluxxhunter000

Oh I thought it was your birthday lol


Wingman5150

It's a common mistake :)


UnicornTurtle_

Shapeshifting


Ashamed_Click3554

You can only shapeshift into a condom.


UnicornTurtle_

I dont wanna shapeshift anymore


CriticalMorale

The only shape you can shift into is the approximate shape of a potato.


jag140

The ability to vaporize people anywhere, at any time, who reply to my comments


fluxxhunter000

But not me


jag140

Touché. You are safe, for now.


fluxxhunter000

Mwahaahahahah


Deletd_EFT

I can survive only by eating bullets


TheLadSimon

But you live in Europe


Deletd_EFT

So i still get guns and bullets. hell half of my family are a bunch of hunters or shooters.


TheLadSimon

Oh. Didn't think of that


Deletd_EFT

But it was still funny don't worry. Besides i am way stupider than you. As i, no joke, *lick guns.*


TheLadSimon

Well, I don't judge


Deletd_EFT

Í have a reason for doing it. If you taste metal shavings in the grease your tolerances are wrong. Also soviet cosmoline is good


TheLadSimon

Got it


shadowseeker382

How is that a fucking superpower


shithappens88

Yes, its more like a medical condition


Deletd_EFT

Ey man ultimate soldier, dont need food


TheLadSimon

Time Travel


fluxxhunter000

But only to tapings of Ellen


rotcomha

But the changes you make, wont effect you, or anyone you know.


Shooot_Me

You have a cooldown equal of the amount of time you traveled through


XboxBreaker_1

Omnipotence, basically God


KingWillThe_1st

But then you eat your children but one of them is kept hidden from you by your wife until he grows up and slays you and frees his brothers and sisters from your gut and then they all rule over the greeks


shak_0508

The ability to stop people reposting highly upvoted questions on r/askreddit


KingWillThe_1st

But then they do it anyway


Iisham

Godlike powers


fluxxhunter000

But you get testicular discomfort every time you use them


Iisham

And reversed with my power


fluxxhunter000

You can’t reverse that side affect as it’s a direct result of your power to get rid of it you’d get rid of your power


Iisham

Then the whole point is moot as by limiting my powers they are no longer godlike


fluxxhunter000

And by removing you side affect youv ruined the game as the point is you have to live with the side affect and not just instantly remove it


Iisham

Aka beat the game


fluxxhunter000

Ok think about it this way what bloody god? You could get Jesus Christ you could get hades or you could get the Hindo god of doors there’s around 33,000 hindo gods what one could you get?


KingWillThe_1st

Using your power to get rid of the testicular discomfort would in turn give you testicular discomfort which would make a paradox


rotcomha

The person who hates you the most, has slightly stronger powers. And you cant do anything about it


Iisham

So I get double powers, cool.


Fragrant_Gate_8800

I can predict the movement of financial charts


CastedJew

Everytime it goes up you become more demented than my great grandma


Gillentrin

Mind reading


_monicorpse

But they can also hear your thoughts in return


tdvsgsa

But you can't hear your own mind anymore


Gillentrin

I see this as an absolute win.


[deleted]

But you can only do it while hanging upside down NUDE


redpawed

I can faze through walls.


WontonsofDMG

This power is always active making transportation impossible. Good news, you can't be hit by cars, bad news, you can still be hit by people.


redpawed

Wdym it's always active? I try to lay down on my bed and just hit the floor underneath? Or do I keep going until I die in the core of the earth?


WontonsofDMG

Nah you can walk on earth, but you faze through everything man made.


Jai_Nimavat

Power to change what they wish or think of me.


WontonsofDMG

A random person in the world remembers exactly who you are and where you live and gains this person's wish/thought of you.


[deleted]

Invisibility


im_ulol

But everytime your turn back visible you crap your pants.


[deleted]

Lmfao no problemo, I'd turn back on a toilet seat...


im_ulol

If only your powers let you have work arounds like this.


[deleted]

I give you one more chance to come up with a better side effect... ;)


im_ulol

Your powers know when you will have pants and underwear on again....its only a matter of time mr no pants 😅


[deleted]

Now that's better, but I'll turn back in the toilet wearing and underwear and dispose it off.🏃‍♂️


im_ulol

Haha hey: John why do you always carry a duffle bag around with you? John: because I have pooper powers.


[deleted]

With power comes respoopsibilty


Gillentrin

Your always naked


[deleted]

I would turn back to visible privately lol


Nikk3121

Being able to sleep on everywhere without feeling uncomfortable.


xLovelyDove

But only at daytime


realdrillanw10

Intangibility


KingWillThe_1st

30% of the time one of your fingers will get stuck and you’ll have to tug at it until it comes out


RogueCerberus

Complete 100% time manipulation. For time itself or just a singular object or myself. Anything


KingWillThe_1st

Everything moved through time will violently shit it’s self upon arrival. (inanimate objects will too)


DisplayComfortable91

Having the ability to prevent comments on Reddit from changing my life


KingWillThe_1st

Except your dad will die of cancer after an angry person redid this on Twitter


mcdoofeus

My super power is I don’t get side effects from anything.


KingWillThe_1st

Except this


Skywarslord

telekenises


[deleted]

Invisibility with no side effects


WontonsofDMG

But only in complete darkness