What is the most worthless movie you have ever watched?
By - Ok_Frosting6152
Did you know there was a sequel to Lawnmower Man? Well, now you know.
For the record, I didn't pay for it per-se: my friend bought the first Lawnmower Man on DVD, and the sequel was included as a bonus because absolutely no sane person would buy it otherwise.
Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace!
Ok ok ok, I know this movie is shit. Absolute shit. Shite.
In the summer of 1996, I was a plucky young half-Thai Canadian kid, stuck in rural Thailand for 2 months. When we went into town for groceries, I found this tiny little video shop that had all the latest movies on VCD, but they were 99% dubbed in Thai. They had a very small selection of English audio but thai-subtitled movies, one of them being **LAWNMOWER MAN 2: BEYOND CYBERSPACE**. It had Matt Frewer in it! I recognized him from the FoxTV Mardi Gras movie from earlier in the year - an X-Men movie before there was talk of any X-Men movies - Generation X! God, I was.. 12? I had no perception of what a good movie was. All I knew was it was a movie I could watch and understand while being stuck a bazillion miles away from home.
Saw lawnmower man in the theater (back in the day). I was excited because I was a Stephen king fan and two of my friends were going to see it with me. My two friends knew it was a trippy movie and (like they did every movie) took acid before (I had to drive us there and back).
They thought the movie was amazing. I was disappointed almost immediately, but got to watch and listen to them ohh and ahh and laugh at it.
I never even saw the first one but a couple friends and I saw the sequel in a Walgreens a few years back and decided to give it a go because wow did that box look rough.
I have few regrets, but that's one of them...
Open House. I felt disrespected for watching that piece of shit.
Way late to the party, but I actually worked on this piece of shit. It was one of the worst experiences of my life and the creators of that film deserve all the hate I see in the world for it. Brings joy to my heart how many people viscerally despise that movie.
What made it go so wrong???
I mean I’m sure this’ll blow back in some way, and I’d rather remain professional. I’ll just say that in the film industry there are a lot of people, producers and directors mostly, who have very little regard for the crew that work on their movies. And I say that as a full time producer myself. The kids who did this movie didn’t understand how respect works and made it a nightmare for everyone involved. Just how it goes sometime…
I feel like we really need to add some king of curriculum about how we show respect to people who we have work for us, not in terms of interpersonal politeness, but in what we ask them to do and what expectations we put on them. It’s like this wild blind spot in so many people I’ve run into in the ridiculous number of fields I’ve worked in.
Yeah, then they have the nerve to claim that putting in 120 hours a week and acceding to all their absurd demands is simply "having a work ethic." No, friend, it's exploitation.
The real horror story is always the making-off <3
Was that the one where the mom and son moved to a ritzy home in the woods that was for sale?
My roommate and I tried to watch that movie when we were drunk and we couldn’t even get through it in that state
I swear that movie Rick rolls me.
Every so often I'll be browsing through Netflix and I'll read the summary and be like "oh that sounds interesting, I'll put that on."
Then 15 minutes into the movie I'm like goddammit it got me again.
Eta: thank you guys for the awards 💚
Lol I’ve seen the synopsis and have been meaning to see it
Really glad I never got round to it after reading this thread. It does sound good tho
Ha! I came to this thread hoping someone would mention this movie. My bestie and I love horror movies and we love open houses, so figured it was a winning movie choice. However, what the actual fuck was this crap? God, it was terrible. No one reacted anywhere near normal for what was happening around them, even for a horror movie. Nothing made sense. Plot points went nowhere. So infuriating I couldn't even feel scared. Just terrible.
Without a doubt, Incubus.
William Shatner, in the only movie ever filmed in Esperanto.
As good as you’d expect based on those two facts alone.
Wait...does Shatner SPEAK Esperanto in it?!
Yup. [Here you go.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhgl7wL8h-8)
Black and white Shatner always looks like a Twilight Zone episode to me. I’d watch the whole movie waiting for the twist as to why they’re talking in a weird language.
Wow - a film where EVERYONE needs the subtitles!
At first I wanted to comment that my dad wouldn’t need subtitles because he’s fluent in Esperanto and crazy about his hobby but then I heard Shatner’s pronunciation. I agree, everyone needs the subtitles.
The story goes that on the opening night, a bunch of Esperantists showed up to watch this new film, and had to leave the screening due to laughing so hard at the pronounciation.
So, did both of them leave together or in separate vehicles?
Does it normally sound like lazy italian?
Rose: "First time?"
Hey, I worked on that! It was my first film job, and if you want stories of how dumb it was, boy do I have some.
Okay, let's see...
The very first day of shooting was all of the scenes of the captains deck interior. The location they chose for this was the operations office at the Long Beach water treatment plant, so for the fist few days we all got to experience the very specific smells that such a place offers.
Notice how all the guests of this supposedly high class luxury ship look like regular people who just wandered onboard? Well, that's basically what happened. I'm not sure if they just didn't go through a casting service or some other half assed bullshit, but on the first day at the cruise ship all of the film crew were told to very quickly "get anyone you can to come down here and be a BG actor". No costumes, no coordination, all were paid $50 and lunch. The bearded guy with the weird glasses shown during the deck speech is a friend of mine, as are the two goth looking guys who are confused about how to evacuate the ship. Looking back, it was such a poorly managed mess.
We spent a whole miserable night in the desert at a special diver training deep pool to shoot one scene where the two leads have to find an oxygen mask/dive equipment. We actually sunk a piece of set decoration that looked like a corner room, and then had to pull it out by hand with some rope. It took the full crew to resurface the waterlogged set, and the pool was damaged to the point it probably cost more to fix than it would have been to rent the appropriate safety equipment.
All the top deck shots were done at the Queen Mary, and we were supposed to do all of the hotel shots and interiors there as well. But then in swoops some Mtv production who offers more money and half our days get cut by the location. We used a nearby hotel for all the interiors, very rushed and last minute.
All the scenes of the Arctic tent were shot on a very small stage at the Asylum offices, and the snow used was crumpled styrofoam. During one take where the female lead exits, she slipped on the foam particles/cement floor and dislocated her shoulder. The rest of the day had to be awkwardly pieced together around her absence.
I'm sure there was a ton of other fuckery afoot behind the scenes, but as I said this was my first job and so I had no actual basis for comparison until I started working much more professional sets later on. I've worked some horrible jobs and sets, but by far my time on the Asylum productions managed to be the worst experiences.
EDIT: What the fuck? Gold(s), for this? Well, now I have to answer everyone's PMs...
This is amazing. Now I need to see this film!
Please always watch responsibly and preferably in a group setting with abundant alcohol or mind altering substances. Viewing films such as this alone and sober has been ruled as a torture device by the UN.
Wow. That was... so awful it was wonderful. I loved the glacier crack swallowing that scientist whole. Thank you for bringing this movie to my knowledge
Glacier swallowing action.
I don't want people to waste as much time as I did.
Wow. I'm sure I've seen shittier green-screen before, but I really don't remember when.
Is it weird that I kind of want to watch this movie now?
I want to watch it now after reading this. I see it has a rating of 1.6/10 on IMDb, I’ve never seen one that low.
The page is hilarious too.
"Director: Shane Van Dyke
Writer: Shane Van Dyke
Stars: Shane Van Dyke"
Gave himself top billing, and he doesn't even have a profile pic.
Wait, there's actually a Titanic 2???
Glacial Drift? Yeah. Its set in the present day and about a cruise ship in the Caribbean. A glacier floats all the way down from the Arctic and specifically targets the Titanic 2.
Same chunk of ice from the first one? Did they develop that character well enough to portray its hatred toward any floating object named Titanic?
I wouldn’t consider any of the characters in Titanic 2 “well developed.” Or even “characters” for that matter.
And like most terrible movies, Titanic 2 also came with a confusing serving of soft core porn.
Do you own the only copy?
The Artemis Fowl movie was AWFUL. I loved the books as a kid and had such high hopes. The plot was changed SO much it’s barely the same story.
My personal pet peeve with that movie is how they took the most badass moment of the book, Butler going medieval on a troll, and turned it into a wacky chase where the apex predator troll gets taken out by a chandelier.
Didn't the book have a bit about Holly's helmet-cam footage of that being introduced to the LEP academy's curriculum as the definitive example of how to deal with a troll?
Something like that yeah, from the wiki:
>The entire incident was recorded from Holly's helmet and ended up on the LEP's Hand-to-hand curriculum after being viewed on the People's Amateur Home Movies cable shows.
The destruction of the characters was the worst.
Mulch is not an ally, he's a criminal put on work release. He's out for himself.
Holly is a woman police officer in a society where they look down on women in power. It demolishes her struggle and character development to have her commander be a woman.
Artemis isn't some fucking surfer kid, he's a calculating sociopath (not completely, he cares about his family and his image and nothing else), and he purposefully kidnaps Holly for the express purpose of extortion of the fairy people.
Artemis' father was never a friend of the fairies. Hell, I don't think he even knew of them.
Just.... The whole thing. My wife has forbidden me from talking about it because I just go on rants. It's worse than the Eragon attempt.
Never before have I seen a film so prominently advertise how much I am going to hate it in the first scene. Artemis fowl was a deathly pale, physically hopeless kid who hated the very concepts of "fun" and "outside". The fact his first appearance is rocking a surfboard just told me that the script writers had at best read the synopsis at the back of the first book, if even that.
At least the Eragon movie was about a dragon rider who travelled to kill an evil king and there was an evil step brother thrown in the mix.
The Artemis Fowl movie was about somebody who also happened to be named Artemis Fowl.
Judi Dench's hilarious three-packs-a-day Irish accent almost tips it into "so bad it's good" territory, though.
"Top o' th' Merrrnin' "
I knew it was going to be terrible when it opened with Artemis Fowl SURFING. S u r f i n g.
"Let's make an Artemis Fowl movie but, uh, tiny edit: we just don't want Artemis Fowl to be in it. How about we use this athletic, affectionate, helpless kid instead?"
Don't get me wrong, the whole movie was a terrible mess of storytelling, but the lack of Artemis was what made it genuinely unforgivable for me.
That's why I swore never to watch the movie after just reading the casting call:
> Artemis (Lead): Male, 9-13
> seeking the lead role of, Artemis; must be 5'3" or below, any ethnicity but must have or can do Irish accent. At first glance Artemis could be mistaken for a rather ordinary child with little athletic ability, but his eyes reveal a flickering of intelligence; inquisitive and **possessing both academic and emotional intelligence**, he is highly perceptive and good at reading people; most importantly, **Artemis is warm-hearted and has a great sense of humour; he has fun in whatever situation he is in and loves life.** No previous acting necessary.
Figured that since they're starting with *literally the opposite* for the main character, it couldn't go well.
Like if they were really doing that they need "makes people mildly uncomfortable" "can seem like they have no empathy" "can sound older then they are"
If we're *really* describing Artemis, "Artemis is warm-hearted and has a great sense of humour" should instead be "Tried to make a joke once and didn't like it".
"Artemis is warm hearted in the sense that his body temperature isn't unusually low. Beyond that he doesn't care for anyone except his imminent family, and even that is on dodgy ground".
They should have got that guy who could teleport and time travel from the umbrella academy. Might be a bit old for the role, but that's pretty much how i pictured him
Five seems certainly more like Artemis than casting call Artemis.
Whyyyyyyyyy, how did no one realize what a terrible idea this was...
It's like if they'd made LOTR and said, "well Frodo's like the main character, right? And this whole thing he's doing is going to be dangerous, so I think we need him to be a big leading man action hero type. Then everyone will get to see him fighting orcs and being a badass; THAT'S WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT."
Just... the source material was successful for a reason, y'all.
[Edit] the LOTR recasting suggestions in this thread are pure comedic gold and I love every one of you for making me laugh this hard!
"Also, Aragorn is an incredibly sexual character. Like, with everyone he meets. He fucks Galadriel. He's pretty sleazy about it too. Just a straight up fucking poon hound. Luckily Legolas is there as his road-twink."
Like some creative license is fine, but... a complete flip? What the fuck?
Gimli is now seven feet tall to make his combat prowess more believable
We need someone to capture Elrond's funny demeanor.
Elrond with a sense of humor really got me for some reason. Just imagine Jim Carrey as Elrond. Dream casting right there.
Honestly, the proximity to The Matrix releasing had me hearing Agent Smith periodically during the fellowship.
I have vague recollection of watching it in theatre and my dad leaning over after an Elrond line to append in a hushed voice... "Mr. Anderson".
I was still considering watching it. This made me reconsider it.
Yeah, don't. You remember how one of Holly's characteristics is that she wants to prove herself so badly because she's the first female officer? Commander Root is a woman now, so that's no longer part of her story. Remember how Butler never reveals his first name unless he's dying? Let's throw his first name around in the movie and take away that particular part of his story. Artemis finding out the book because he bribed an addict fairy? You know the one they showed in the trailer? Well, she's no longer in the film, but he gets all the information from his father before he disappears. Because why make him a conniving child genius if he can just learn it from his father without any effort of his own.
And the worst of all.. you know how he connected to Holly? Yeah, that no longer happens. They just sort of "strike a deal" without any emotional stakes and Holly has zero reason to trust Artemis and it makes no sense for her to trust him.
So to conclude my rant... continu loving the books, don't bother with the movie.
I wonder what's the point of even making movies like this. Do they think the story from the books are too complex?
This is nothing new, but it still makes no sense to me. Eragon, The Golden Compass, just two examples where they ruined the movies by getting far from the books.
Maybe Artemis Fowl can do what The Golden Compass did and be adapted as a far superior TV show years later instead. While His Dark Materials isn't outstanding as a show, it is far better than what we got in The Golden Compass movie.
The producers said that having a child be a criminal mastermind was "problematic". Then why in the sam fuck pick Artemis Fowl to filmatise?!
I think the fact Eoin Colfer signed off on allowing it after basically a decade of attempts shows how fucking done with it he was. How bad were the previous scripts lmao
I hope to god someone makes a decent adaptation soon. The series is so good
Artemis Fowl is the only movie I've ever straight up ragequit.
I've sat through some terrible movies. Eragon, the live action Death Note movie, I've even put up with The Last Airbender. I've also had a grudge against the Ghost Rider sequel for the past decade. Never left the theater for any of them.
Artemis Fowl, however, is an offense to both God and man. It made every other movie I mentioned look like Academy Award winners.
You didn't like Butlers camo? When he was literally in a tuxedo with a couple of branches on his shoulders?
Tall Girl or Sierra Burgess is a loser. just awful
Sierra Burgess message is basically "it's okay to be a shitty person if you're insecure. Go wreck everyone life's and then emotionally manipulate them into forgiving you :D"
“Let’s catfish a dude and then blindfold him and kiss him without his consent!!”
agreed 100% in tall girl that thing with that guy carrying around a milk crate just so he could kiss her was so idiotic
Milk boy was such a creepy friend
My favourite part was how the entire point of her character arc was realising looks / height isn't everything... and falling for the kid with a giantess fetish
Disaster Movie, 2008. Had a rare opportunity to visit with my dad and that was the movie we decided on. Should’ve gone to the park. We love most of the parody movies, but there wasn’t a funny bit in it. Genuine waste of time/money.
Isn’t that like the lowest rated movie on IMDB lmfao
Could NOT have picked a better name for the worst rated movie ever.
I'm reading the comment section and I'm happy to report I've never heard of 95% of these movies
"The 41 year old virgin who knocked up sarah marshall and felt superbad about it"
Why would you make a parody of comedies?
Wait. That was *its own* movie? I saw the case for it when I worked at a used movie store and I just assumed it was a 3-film combo pack.
Edit: 4 films. Forgot knocked up
The worst kind of movie is one that makes fun of way funnier movies.
I actually bought it thinking it was a cheap 4 pack
The director followed it up with
[30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/30_Nights_of_Paranormal_Activity_with_the_Devil_Inside_the_Girl_with_the_Dragon_Tattoo)
Those movies are terrible even when their references are somewhat timely. When they age 15 years and none of the jokes are understandable anymore they become even a step beyond.
Check out [Plump Fiction](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plump_Fiction) as an example
`buried underneath all of the terrible references and non-sequiturs are maybe one or two chuckles that weren't elicited without a fair amount of shame and guilt`
The only quoted review on wikipedia is a slapper.
Not another teen movie and scary movie were great. But then they kept going...
Not Another Teen Movie is still absolutely hilarious! Chris Evans is great and the movie is just so damn funny to me still.
Is that the one where he’s naked with whipped cream and a banana sticking out of his ass?
That was America's Ass™, mind you.
“Little Miss Run-home-to-daddy… ran home to daddy!” The delivery of that line still kills me. It’s like he realizes how stupid it is halfway through, but then he just leans in anyway and is proud of it.
I love the dad... "That's what I"m here for pumpkin tits..."
Gingerdead Man. A friend and I, being fans of campy b movie horror thought we’d get our fix with this obviously bad on purpose film. We made it about 15 minutes in before we were in total agreement that it was completely unwatchable.
But, Gary Busey!
My mom was guilted into buying a christian friendly movie from the church when I was a kid. It was called The Buttercream Gang. It was about a gang of do-gooders - they referred to themselves as "butter creamers." I was probably 12 when I finally watched it and couldn't tell if it was supposed to be a joke.
They made us watch this in 3rd grade when all the 9/11 stuff was going on and the teachers were scrambling to understand what was happening. That's the only reason I remember that movie.
Yes! I saw this as a kid (I grew up Mormon) at a friend's house. They were the type who could only watch Disney movies or Christian films like The Buttercream Gang.
Not thought about that film in years, thanks for reminding me! I remember it being cheesy, but I was 12 and wanted to be polite at my friend's house...
I had a friend that their parents actually dubbed Disney movies to remove violence completely. She was about 18-19 when she finally found out that Mufasa died in the Lion King.
EDIT: I just found out that they also dubbed out the fire scene in bambi.
I really don't like parents who do this kind of stuff. The death scene is in the movie for a reason, it's to expose kids to difficult topics in a controlled manner. What were they gonna do if their kids' grandpa died or something, just say he went to live on a farm?
I'd pay to see what happened when the kid eventually asked about sex.
Also, I'm not a parent but, I'm smart enough to realise that lying to and sheltering your kids is a great way to get them to stop trusting you.
And to have them make exactly the choices you were trying so hard to keep them from making.
It can be kind of sad and scary when sheltered kids like that learn about the world.
I met a girl in college who had no idea penises existed. I think it finally clicked in her head when we were watching a Game Of Thrones episode with friends. Honestly none of us knew what to tell her because it was so shocking.
I was raised extremely sheltered. I was in college (20 y/o) when I learned that sex involved penetration. Prior to that, I had no idea how pregnancy could occur - I thought maybe sperm entered through the belly button.
My mom was also convinced to buy this movie through some church program! It cost $15 or so, and two weeks later, my sister and I found about 50 copies of it at our local dollar store. My mom was so mad she spent so much on it that she made us watch it multiple times within a few weeks and then told us to never mention it again
> My mom was so mad she spent so much on it that she made us watch it multiple times within a few weeks and then told us to never mention it again
That wasn't very butter cream of her!
Dude. I have memories of what feels like a fever dream watching this movie. Didn't one of them go off to the city and come back a dickhead and then miraculously turn good again or something? I think I saw it in 3rd grade. I wasn't even sure that this was a real thing that existed until you just mentioned it.
When they're playing baseball and they say something like "you got the right one baybayy, uh-huh uh-huh!"
365 Days. A really, really bad 50 shades rip off that i regret wasting time watching, though i didnt finish it
I've never watched it, but have watched a lot of people talk about it and always cringe when they play the "Are you lost baby girl?" Clips
Oh wow a rip off of a bad movie? That’s gotta be shit
Yep that movie is terrible
I trust this guy's analysis for sure
So much is wrong with this movie and the characters look nothing like their original counterparts:
* Goku never looked like Goku at all, he looked more like Ben 10, He goes to school like Spider-Man, Learns airbending over everything like he's Aang and is something Goku never learned to do in the original Anime/Manga, When he transformed into Oozaru he looked more like a werewolf than an ape and the fact that he transformed during an eclipse and not a full moon like the original did, and he uses the Kamehameha like a Rasengan from Naruto. Also that dude was a creep torward Chi Chi
* Piccolo(despite being well portrayed) look like a rip-off villain from a typical alien invasion movie. He didn't look like Piccolo, he looked like a mix between a Skrull, Green Goblin, Shrek, and Megamind.
* Bulma wasn't Bulma at all, she was more like some random girl they took out of a cyberpunk film and put her in this movie.
It just shows you how much this movie never looked or felt like the original source material at all.
When I went to see that movie my mate who is not a big a fan of the franchise as me spent most of the time watching me because of the pure disappointment on my face lol
Yeah I heard that James Marsters portrayal of Picollo was the only good thing about that movie.
He was the only one who put in any effort. He had to convince the execs to make Piccolo green.
I'm very happy he got to voice Zamasu.
Without that movie DragonBall Super would not exist
What's the story?
Akira Toriyama hated DragonBall Evolution so much it compelled him start working on the franchise again.
As Toriyama described in the opening comment of the 30th Anniversary Dragon Ball Super History Book:
"Dragon Ball once became a thing of the past to me, but after that, I got angry about the live action movie, re-wrote an entire movie script, and now I'm complaining about the quality of the new TV anime, so it seems that DB has grown on me much that I can't leave it alone."
The script he re-wrote was Battle of the Gods as he didn't want it to be anywhere near as bad as the live action film.
The movie I most regret: The Emoji Movie.
The most boring and pointless movie I’ve watched: The Last Light
Still don't get how Sony Animation went from the emoji movie to Spiderverse
Hey, they also made Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and Hotel Transylvania, which were both good movies (ignoring their respective sequels)
I watched Cloudy 2, I never really thought of it as TERRIBLE although it definitely wasnt as good as the first one. What didnt you like about it?
There's a leek in the boat!
Gets me every time.
My favourite scene from the film, I still always make a reference whenever leeks are involved in dinner!
I felt like the sequel to cloudy was actually pretty good but it was also like 5 years ago and all I remember is a hairy blueberry
Cats was the only film I ever considered walking out of. It was like mental self harm
I knew what I was in for. I tried so hard to behave myself in the cinema. But watching respected veteran award winning actor Sir Ian McKellen frantically lick and slurp milk from a bowl was too much and I lost it
I’m glad I saw it in a “rowdy screening” where you were allowed to be as loud as you liked, otherwise I couldn’t have taken it
Oh wow, a way I'd actually watch this movie.
My college screened the first twilight movie like this back in the day. It was pretty funny
His love of the halfling's leaf has clearly slowed his mind.
“Yes… that was what they used to call me … Gandalf…”
My poor kids "thought it'd be like high school musical but with cats." Luckily I had just dropped them off so I didn't have to share in their suffering.
What did they say about it after?
Bold of you to assume their kids talk to them anymore.
We knew it was going to be terrible and made a drinking game out of it. The over the top terrible reviews were the only thing that actually made me want to see it. If it had been merely bad, I wouldn't have been so intrigued. Instead, it became legendarily bad to others point where people were clamoring for the Butthole Cut, which just adds to the mystique.
My friends and I tried the same thing, we hit the rebel Wilson scene and were like, "you know what not worth it" and just turned it off and drank while talking
I have never seen the play. I went to the movie with 2 friends who have seen the play in person. We took way to many edibles and watched the movie.
Apparently I just kept asking if this is really happening and how isn't it over yet it's been hours.
That movie gave me nightmares for the first time in like 20 years. I'm a fire fighter I run into burning buildings and I had a cat themed nightmare afterwords.
I have been to war. And cats gave me nightmares.
My wife is a big fan of Cats (the actual musical) and has the ability to push herself through any movie. Once it starts, she finishes it.
I came upstairs and saw her sitting *jaw hanging* at the Rebel Wilson scene. I asked, "that bad?" and she just nodded without closing her mouth.
Never seen this movie.. and I thought I would look up this scene cuz it can't be THAT bad. Man, was I wrong. That was like drinking a pint of raw sewage.
As a kid I was so extremely obsessed with the 1998 Andrew Lloyd Webber version of that. From everything I've heard about it, I'm never watching the new one.
I'm still a fan of the original musical, but that movie did no favors for the few of us who will still admit that openly.
For those curious why, it's an impressive athletic feat to see people dance for 2 hours straight. The costuming was fantastic, and the musical numbers were charming and quirky. The route the film took highlighted none of this. Quick editing deadened the impact of the physicality. CGI ruined the visual aesthetic. And the overlaid commentary from actors interrupting the flow of the music was needlessly grating and humorless.
How you miss the mark so badly that both theatre fans and furries hate Cats, well that's just impressive. No one expects the story to be good. It's Cats. The bar is so low on that.
Just make something cute to look at and you're halfway there already. The direction they chose gets me so worked up!
Tom Hooper also brought in the worst aspect of the Les Mis movie into Cats. The actors are singing live and are encouraged to play with the tempo between takes while their poor on-set accompaniment and orchestra were made to work around the actors singing in whatever fucking time they wanted. This isn’t even rubato it’s just expecting the musicians to pick up the slack. It’s how you get shit like tap-dancing cockroaches that don’t sync up with the music.
The only number in the musical that’s even marginally good is Skimbleshanks cause even the fuckers on set knew that singing and dancing in 13/8 without a click-track is asinine.
I see someone else watched the Sideways video
> The only number in the musical that’s even marginally good is Skimbleshanks cause even the fuckers on set knew that singing and dancing in 13/8 without a click-track is asinine.
It's amazing. This is a string of English words, that I as a native English speaker both do not understand the meaning and yet somehow understand every single word.
It helps to know that Skimbleshanks is about trains. The -original- Cats movie used the sounds of the train very well in their song. I tried to watch the new Skimbleshanks and if felt like my soul was crying.
There are other pieces in their which work quite well (for example the dance pretty much in the middle). But the main requirement for a song to work was that not the singer would give the tempo, but the orchestra does. I feel so bad for the musicians who had to deal with that shit.
Catwoman - The basketball scene alone. Holy shit.
Halle Berry: Dribbling while shaking her butt
Guy: Visibly horny looking around to 9 year olds like damn you guys seein’ this shit?
She straddled Benjamin Bratt in front of 30 9-year-olds.
That movie is "The Room" of superhero films. It's terrible, and everyone needs to see it! I don't think whoever wrote or directed Catwoman ever actually read a single comic book featuring the character. They just saw half of the 2002 Spider-Man film and went: "Lets do that but with Cats or something." Also, the bad guy is a manufactorer of make-up, because girls, amirite?
>"Lets do that but with Cats or something."
Oh, god, I just imagined Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer fighting the Green Goblin...
Cannot believe Eragon has not been named yet.
There’s a reason nobody’s mentioned it and that’s because some things need to be forgotten and eragon the movie is definitely one of them.
I was...8? When it came out? Never heard of the series before. My uncle took me to see it. I "*enjoyed*" it as much as you could say for a dragon obsessed 8 y.o. and didmt think it was *god awful* just kind of meh.
Then, when I was 15, for my bday my mom.bought me the first book of the Inheritance Cycle. And 2 months later the rest and as they came out the final books to.
Read them all at least 3 times, which for me is a huge no no unless 2-3 hears have passed because I hate remembering everything that comes next so I have to have time to forget it all.
Then I rewatched the movie.
Eragon, that liveaction DragonBall Z and the liveaction ATLA are the 3 I refuse to watch, see or hear anything of
Son of The Mask
I saw it at the movies at age 12 with my mom and cousin. There was an obviously mentally handicapped man sitting in front of us just loudly guffawing the whole time. At the end, he turned around towards us and told us it was the best movie he had ever seen.
A while back I downloaded it just to check if it could really be as bad as I remembered. It was, but that's not the point.
The point is that I forgot to stop it, and I accidentally seeded it until my ratio was 75:1.
I am so, so, so sorry for how much of that monstrosity I've personally spread.
If the bleating of the media industry is to be believed, you've prevented 75 people from paying for that godawful movie and funding the creation of more movies like it. Society thanks you for your service.
Zoombies. No I didn't spell it wrong. It was one of those syfy channel only movies. Where this new zoo was testing on the monkeys and the monkeys just made all the animals at the zoo zombies...not the humans THE ANIMALS. At one point I saw the camera man and the producer in a computer screen. Worst movie ever
Edit: don't get me wrong I love watching my fair share of bad movies but this one just ticked me off more than any other one
Avatar: The Last Airbender. Saw this live action film in theaters and it was such a horrific letdown after the series. The acting was terrible!
Saw the film first and couldn't work out why people love the series so much. So glad I actually tried the series and now I can see why so many were so upset with the film
Any of the Kissing Booths.
The booths didn’t even kiss.
Especially the third one! The actors seemed so off like when you're taking your fourth test of the day and honestly don't care anymore. The reactions were like those kids shows where the cartoons have to overreact to convey their emotions to the kids.
Tired seeing it with my mom since I knew it was horrible and wanted to rant about it. She thought it was good.
Edit: I know she loves cheesy movies and all but I thought she would realize how toxic this movie was. Like when MC was assaulted she didn’t think it was wrong…the entire thing disappointed me
She thinks it’s my favorite movie tho. Have no idea why. I told her I hated it
50 Shades of Grey
I thought it would be so bad that it's funny. It was kind of funny for the first 10-15 minutes, but then it was just reallyyy boring and poorly made. Not outrageous enough to be entertaining, but bad enough to be frustrating.
Edit: Just to clarify, while I didn't expect 50 Shades to be good, I actually really love most romances even if they're kinda silly. The Twilight series is very special to me in fact, but 50 Shades is a poor interpretation and so obviously a worse copy. If they wanted to make a BDSM romance that's great, wonderful even, but the author obviously had very little understanding on what that means.
The book Trilogy were all terrible. WCGW if they make a movie out of it
It was Twilight fanfiction before it became... whatever the fuck it is now. Explains a bit honestly.
Wife took me to one of those. I fell asleep. I do remember a scene where the rich guy is flying a helicopter and crashes.
I'm thinking, ok this is kind of interesting now.
Next scene, the girl finds out he crashed. She's a mess and all sobbing. Next thing you know, the guy shows the fuck right up at the door, totally fine. What the hell? Why even have that scene?
Dakota Johnson has nice titties though.
You guys are out here naming big-budget mainstream films, and I'm stuck with a mountain of no-budget slogfests to choose from, like "Horrors of Spider Island", "Curse of the Headless Horseman", and "She-Gods of Shark Reef".
...I don't make good life decisions.
The MST3K version of Spider Island is fantastic.
My family still quotes, “a hammer, with a long handle”
The best parts are where the scenes are slow and boring and nothing is happening and they just chime in with
"....The HORRORS of SPIDER ISLAND "
Sorting by Controversial has its own fun.
Prime has so many of these movies now - Llamageddan, Killer Sofa and one that I forgot the name of but it’s a killer placenta.
I watched one as a joke and now it recommends me them all the time.
Llamageddon looked like it could be on a similar funny level as Black Sheep, tongue in cheek, not too serious.
Was disappointed to see that they're uploading uni student films to Prime now, doesn't even look ironically funny or so bad it's good, just plain bad.
Sounds like they're applying the same strategy that led to them flooding their product catalog with cheap garbage.
“Seriously 0/10 but it’s worth a watch”
This is the strongest temptation I’ve had to watch a film in a long time 😂
You should write more movie reviews. I want to watch this now.
He actually stole this comment from here.
Two thumbs up review of a two thumbs down movie, bravo..not rotten.
Maybe it's a bad movie, but that was a highly enjoyable read
The Last Airbender
As soon as i heard his name pronounced “Ung!” I knew it was going to be a shitshow for the ages.
There is no movie in Ba Sing Se.
Here we are safe. Here we are free!
365 days. Complete and utter shit. Wife loved it though
People need to stop making films based on wattpad fantasies.
Space jam2. Went for thekids. It was everything I thought it wd be..
Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. He didn't even conquer them.