T O P

What is stopping you from going out for a jog?

What is stopping you from going out for a jog?

oopls

The angry sun from Mario.


ThePuds

*The sun is a deadly laser*


FlameSamurai63

*Not anymore, there's a blanket*


peccator9

Two artificial legs, bad knees, bad back, lazy. In that order.


Atheist_Simon_Haddad

> Two artificial legs… So, you just get to pick how tall you want to be?


peccator9

Sadly no, the doctors calculate my height. Or I would look like mr tall from the mr men.


lilyraine-jackson

I feel like if youre paying for these legs you should get to decide how long they are. Even if youre not american your taxes pay for them.


Pitify

Doesn't see like a problem to me


01kickassius10

Low rider


OhIamNotADoctor

Little airbags under the kneecaps. *Pssh pssh pssh pssh…*


Shawnaldo7575

Wait, your artificial legs have bad knees?! Get a tune up!


01kickassius10

WD40


Merman1994

I’m on a boat in the middle of the ocean


visuallyamazing

Excuses


Merman1994

I guess I could jog around on deck but I’ve only got so much deck to run on


EmperorOfNipples

Your ship needs a treadmill!


latitudesixtysix

It’s a weird feeling to run on a treadmill with the ship rocking


pinatastic

You think that stopped Jesus?


Merman1994

Don’t think the captain would like it too much if I tried to do my best Jesus impersonation.


pinatastic

Be like Moses then, part the water for 100metres and race the crew 👍


Merman1994

You’re putting a lot of faith in my ability to either use God’s power or water bend. Either way, imma stay on the boat


runnyOntheInside

Name doesn't check out.


vvashington

Yes, obviously the thing preventing him from jogging is having no legs


getoffredditnowyou

I think Ariel went for jogs.


cranberry94

Mistaken, Ariel went for jocks.


t-h-e-d-u-d-e

This is the greatest thread


FisherKing13

So, you’re saying there’s a chance that he may love it?


HotConcrete

Jesus didn’t need to jog! “Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly,” – 1 Corinthians 9:26-27


GoabNZ

Proverbs 28:1 "The wicked run when no one is chasing them" Therefore I won't jog!


somdude04

I mean, sure, but that's Paul, not Jesus


redditshy

Awesome!!!! What are you doing out there? Which ocean?


Merman1994

Bering sea doin science


redditshy

Mermaaaaan. It all makes sense.


Merman1994

I realized that some people may have seen the user name and might be like “oh ha ha he’s making a joke” but yeah I’m actually on a boat.


dcux

I'm on a boat!


effemeris

wait really? that's fucking awesome. what kind of science you doin?


Merman1994

I’m a fisheries biologist. Basically I count/ weigh fish and take biological samples when needed


butterflypuncher

Thats pretty cool. I'd enjoy an ama, and I'm sure at least a dozen of us would too


Merman1994

Shit I just stopped being a lurker like… 2 days ago? I’m still tryina figure this shit out.


Lukcy

I feel your pain, I’m currently suck on one tied to the pier and can’t leave because we are quarantined due to a covid outbreak


Merman1994

Well that fucking sucks


Tvaneijk

My knees but cycling is good cardio


CARMAH_143

I love how I can bike even if I can't run!


Meattyloaf

This. My knees are shot from years of abuse of playing sports, mainly American football.


Dagamier_hots

Is there anything you’d recommend for a 25 year old that wants to prevent knee injury? I run 4 miles 3-5 days a week.


stupidshot4

As another 25 year old with knee problems from 6ish hours per day of basketball and workouts. The number one thing is to give time to recover. Then also keep flexibility in the surround muscles, stability and balance, and then strength. Not necessarily in that order though. It should sort of a be a good balance. That’s what my doctors and physical therapists told me at least


BillNyeForPrez

I’ve found that trail running is much easier on my knees. The movements are less repetitive and the dirt is more forgiving than asphalt.


Dagamier_hots

I run by a river trail in the mornings. It definitely feels alot better than when I was running on the sidewalk through town.


bluvelvetunderground

I hate running, but I love biking. I ride to work and back and everything else I can manage (weather permitted) riding, and I've been doing that for 5 years now. It wasn't easy at first, but now I feel like I haven't really started my day without it. Cycling is my meditation.


DonaldRidesBikes

Can confirm - rode 40 miles this morning


zachiepie

Username checks out


01kickassius10

Unless his name is David


Previous-Parsley-307

Nobody is chasing me!


pinatastic

I’ll come chase ya


Browndog510

I refuse to run unless something is chasing me and even if it’s chasing I’ll probably stand and fight.


aalios

"You ain't worth 150BPM"


joevsyou

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ


Goblintern

What hieroglyph is that


joevsyou

I use "relay for reddit" & it is one of the features for comments.


Norwest

https://youtu.be/LJ1gInUG5uw


beep_boop_27

It’s almost 1 am and I’m tired


visuallyamazing

Same here it's very close to one am and I just ate


beep_boop_27

You wont run when you just ate a 15 piece bucket of kfc and you’re all full and tucked up in your bed like a fat burrito.


visuallyamazing

Fat burrito needs rest, fat burrito don't need no goddamn exercise!


shrek2569

I don't have my pants on


Rich-Ad7264

Don’t threaten the neighbors with a good time! *dont actually do this pls*


JesusChristsGayLover

Killjoy


ddh85

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!


harryoe

WAIT NOT LIKE THAT


Tasgall

Well how else is he supposed to kill Joy?


imnotyourdad37

But what’s stopping you from going out for a jog?


macedoraquel

The law


iWillNeverReplyToYou

There's a cat on my lap


tface23

I think it’s actually illegal for you to move


OpenNooby

yep, depending on the state it could be a felony


AffectionatePanic

Feliny*


dym_sh

im somewhat of felintropist myself


Taraybian

Indeed. This violates at least 3 major cat laws.


peregrin5

Break the cat laws and you get the claws.


PrinCescha

Understandable, have a great day


cauliflower_baron

The only acceptable excuse


philb087

I’ve legitimately called in late to work because my cat decided it was time for lap cuddles. It’s illegal to deny a cat lap cuddles.


Aedalas

This kinda happened to me once. Alarm went off, I turned it off and sat up. Normally that's the hard part and it's just autopilot from there, but my cat jumped on my lap one morning while I was sitting on the side of the bed. Obviously I had to pet her because I'm not a monster, but I ended up drifting back off while sitting there with no alarm set. Ended up being about an hour late.


KMan0000

'Unhealthy' air quality outside and the 100-degree heat at 8 PM. Trust me, I'd love to if not for those factors!


Bacontoad

Put on a military gas mask and some waders filled up to your waist with ice cold water. Good to go!


bagelelite

I hate running/jogging


darthvadercake

Same. I will happily walk two hours but make me do the same distance in a run and I will NOT be happy.


BILLYRAYVIRUS4U

You are giving your honesty a workout, though.


lookslikemaggie

I break out into actual hives when I jog.


asitype1

Me too! Do you know why? My doc told me it's uticaria and I was so excited to google/ figure out the cause/treat it... but it turns out uticaria is just the medical term for hives and doesn't help me at all. lol


lookslikemaggie

Lol. I think it’s genetic. My mom and brother are the same way. I can push it back by jogging for 1 minute till hives and then stopping. Then I can get to 2 minutes in a couple of weeks. Then 3. But that’s a lot of work for something I already don’t enjoy.


Hamajaggah

Take an antihistamine 30 minutes before you run, it solves the issue. Be careful that you don't take it too early or you'll get stuck hobbling to the nearest 711 to wait for your partner to make it home to get the car and drive you back. Happened to me twice before I started just dosing everyday. I hate exercise urticaria.


SerChonk

Amen. Sports with a lot of running involved? Fine with me, let's go. Running for the heck of it? Hell no. It's boring, I have to constantly stare at the ground so I don't trip on anything, and I'm terrible at keeping a consistent pace. F that.


ts_13_

My knees, my back, my ankles. Honestly running really hurts.


msnmck

*🎵My knees,* *My back,* *Oh God, my hip just cracked!🎶*


payperplain

Is this actually a parody song? Please say yes. I need this.


msnmck

*Be the change you wish to see in the world.* -Bill Nye, probably


01kickassius10

>Fuck em all Ghandi


[deleted]

My words are backed by nuclear weapons -Gandhi


visuallyamazing

I really though this comment was going a different way after reading the first 4 words...


ts_13_

My knees, my back, my pussy and my crack?


Jak_n_Dax

I’ve always been active, never been overweight except for a brief period in my late 20’s. Anyway when I was 20-21ish, I really got serious. Lifting weights, cardio all the time, etc. I was tired of being a stick and wanted some muscle mass. I ran for about 3-4 months one summer. Got up to where I could jog 4 miles without taking a break. And it was on a dirt road with high quality running shoes, so no hard impacts. But holy shit. I had to stop because it got to the Point where my lower spine, my hips, my knees, and sometimes my ankles would just hurt after a run. I’ll stick to mountain biking from now on... I just can’t run for sport.


Arcinbiblo12

Its currently 85° with smoke in the air from all the fires. Add on that I'm currently getting a great workout trying to move out of my apartment so I think I can pass of going out for jog. EDIT: For those who are curious, I'm in Washington State. And the smoke is being caused by forest fires that are happening all over the western US.


canadianclassic308

Also came to complain about smoke, but from canada


SaidTheCanadian

Yep... Visibility here was less than 500 metres earlier this month. I wouldn't try jogging without a full on gas mask at this point.


kimblem

Welcome to August in the PNW. Central WA is no better than Seattle, if you take pleasure in others’ misery.


GetGrogNasty

Central WA and East WA is typically way worse than Seattle in the summer. I mean we're the ones on fire haha.


Ok_Blackberry1486

My liver has only grown to 50% after donating. Three months till it’s 70% and I can jog thank you for the upvotes and comments! Talking about this is helping me get through the boredom of recovery! AMA


Land0Will

Wow! How long has it taken to grow to 50%? Are you feeding it anything special?


Ok_Blackberry1486

Regular diet. Surgery was July 21, 2021


beforethedawn

What percentage of your liver did you donate?


Ok_Blackberry1486

69% not even joking lol


4thchaosemerald

Nice


LadWithAHat_

Nice


runnyOntheInside

Thank you for doing that, I admire you .


ISHOTJAMC

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT- YOUR LIVER CAN REGROW?!


Ok_Blackberry1486

Yep! It’s the only organ that regenerates. That’s why living liver donation is possible.


RebaKitten

So did you donate part of your liver or were your recipient? Either way, good on you!


Ok_Blackberry1486

I donated my right lobe to my dad


RebaKitten

Wow, that's terrific!


IdeaSunshine

I hope he deserved it. You must get you awesomness from somewhere. You're a fantastic offspring. 👍


Ok_Blackberry1486

He really did! The man has always helped others his entire life. He deserves a longer life!


myraf2

Fear of judgement from others mostly. Plus the heat. And wheezing after 30 seconds...


apra24

I feel self conscious about how I look when I'm running or jogging. I can do a treadmill but not where cars are constantly driving by looking at me. It sounds really stupid when I see it written out tbh.


Squigeey

Those 14 words could be applied to my entire life so far. But slowly I’m getting past it.


Dangerous-Noise-4692

I ran yesterday and weekends are for hiking, not running.


rahrahbeanz

8 months pregnant and it’s like 100 degrees outside.


ThePrurientPickle

7 months pregnant and for years I’ve run 15-20 miles a week. I promised myself I’d be keeping that up during the pregnancy. I lied. I’ve forgiven myself.


xoddot

Excused.


derpycalculator

I don’t know how women run while pregnant. After about my 12th week or so my breasts were to sensitive, my stomach muscles are were stretched out too much, and all the jiggling and bouncing around in my stomach was like running with a back pack on my front side. Pregnancy is hard work! Good luck, mama!


BP-Kenpachi

Sounds like excuses to me


SpookyGhost_txt

Baby has to get fit somehow


mwdh20

Baby can’t run itself


syberiada

Yeah babies are kinda useless like that.


blay12

Bet they can’t even do their own taxes, goddamn babies


microwavedseagull

Absolute _freeloaders_


pandadogunited

*economic parasites*


Pistol_Pato

I once completed a half marathon and about an hour after I finished, this woman crossed the line at about 2:35. The announcer, a few minutes later, said that she was 7 months pregnant. But the weather was favorable though, it was San Diego in like 75 degree weather. But yeah...7 months pregnant and a 2:35 half marathon. That was maintaining an 11:50 mile for 13.1 miles. So she was at a light jogging pace just over 5mph. Not a blazing speed, but also not walking either. Props to her to jog for 13.1 miles while 7 months preggo


crazymcfattypants

.... I dropped a straw today and it rolled under the fridge and it's guna stay there until this baby pops out in about 2.5 months.....


Low-Stick6746

You’re never going to retrieve that straw. Some day you’re going to have to move your fridge to move or replace it and you’re going to wonder why a straw was under your fridge. Along with about a half dozen weird black oddly hard but also gummy things stuck to the floor that are most likely grapes. Admit it.


bellusinlove

I don't like jogging. It do be that simple sometimes.


sunburn_on_the_brain

Hate jogging. I’ll go hike 10-15 miles but running is no fun.


Nit3fury

Hard same


RUfuqingkiddingme

No kidding, i hate jogging/ running. I'd go for a swim but sitting here with covid so will go when i get better.


WhiteMilk3

Wishing you a speedy recovery my fellow swimmer!


youxahanna

*Speedo recovery


lucidspoon

I'll go for 3.5 mile walks 2-3 times a week and 15 mile bike rides 1-2 times a week. But running/jogging does not interest me. I actually don't mind running if it's part of a group 5k though.


polyesterbrown

Reading sweet posts on Reddit like this.


emmettfitz

Dystonia, my right foot drags and I fall down a lot. I used to run about 15 miles a week. Something I really enjoyed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


InnocenceInASense

Good thing I don't run. Pretty suspicious both of you are bonked now.


sarianamellie

I dont want to see people who I know when I'm jogging, and I dont want thy to see me


pinatastic

That’s my fear aswell, which is why I always bring earphones and stare at the pavement


VirtualFoxk

You should just bicycle far away then jog and then beat the crap out of the robber and return your bicycle, do this everyday for 10 years and you will be a professional fighter and runner.


ddh85

Mumen Rider?


MattieSilver1899

One puuuuuunnnchhh!!!!


Asleep_Cut505

I don’t want others to see me run. I’m insecure about how my body looks when running or walking. My friends compliment my butt saying it is nice, but I have the ass where a lot of fat sits on top so it looks like a shelf. I’m working on losing weight but I am still insecure about it. I rather workout at home or go to the furthest corner in the gym.


Crocodillemon

Sounds like a cool butt


this__fuckin__guy

I could use a shelf.


broccolirob888

I’m depressed. I know a walk would help but it’s real hard to get off this couch. :(


Murf_dog_

I totally get it, been there (and currently am there because plantar fasciitis is a cruel, cruel mistress). As the great (and crazy) Becs Gentry says; "The hardest part is lacing up your trainers." She is right. While you are on that couch, try doing some leg raises (slowly raise and lower your legs) a few times. When you go heat up that snack in the kitchen, do a couple body weight squats and wall push ups. Sometimes, doing something is more beneficial than doing nothing. For me, I don't exercise, then I can't sleep because I am not tired enough, then I am tired all day, and depression kicks in. Thankfully, I have an awesome husband and two psychopathic dogs who love to go on adventures, so the cycle can be broken. Also, I trick myself into exercising by saving a super interesting show, movie, audiobook, or podcast for walking/running/treadmill/cycle/gym/rower/stretching time. Lately: Last Podcast on the Left. It is a dumb trick and I hope you can give it a try. If you want someone to chat with while you are walking around the block (or backyard, garden, whatever), know that I am more than happy to chat away about whatever. I am rooting for you. You might not feel like you got this, but you do. As Dan Harmon once said; "Feelings are real, but they aren't reality." That single phrase has gotten my butt out of bed so many times, I think I need it tattooed on me. Please know that, even though you are having a depressive episode, you are an amazing human being worth every ounce of support and love anyone gives you. Take pride and solace knowing that you are loved and people want you around. I know I am just a random, rambling Reddit stranger, but I am glad you are here and sharing with us. I just wish I could do more to help you. Please, reach out if you need a friend. I am happy to help because you are an awesome human being. Digital hugs! Edit: y'all are such amazing human beings. If any of you need some support, someone to vent to, or want any help at all, I am happy to be your buddy. Keep being awesome, all!


Impossibleish

This was very kind and well written. Kudos.


Murf_dog_

Thank you. We all have bad times and a little bit of kindness can really go a long way. I sincerely wish I could do more, knowing others are in a bad place makes me sad. If a kind word and a sympathic story can help someone, I am more than happy to do so.


KinokiKinoki

Because I prefer walking to jogging.


EmperorOfNipples

It's only been 4 hours since my last 5k run. Chill out!


DrNick2012

You sound like me to my garmin watch. Me: cycles to park, goes for 8k run, cycles to gym, works out, cycles to work, walk around at work for 8 hours, cycle home, then sit down for an hour Garmin watch: GET UP YOU LAZY CRIPPLED FUCK!


essentialpuzzle

A decent fucking sports bra!!!


drbarnowl

Same. I had big boobs and I have NEVER found a bra that makes it possible to run or jog with them. I could probs find one if I had the money but I’m broke.


superradish

panache makes good sports bras for large breasted women.


Informal_Celery9957

The fact that’s it’s 1 AM and I’m scared for strangers in the dark


Express_Pineapple47

A door


loquacious_avenger

heat.


felixgifford

It's past my bedtime and my mum would be mad.


ThickAnalyst8814

i have covid :/ have no more symptoms and would love to go for a jog, but not feeling like a biological weapon today


wyolove89

How many days did you have symptoms? I’m on day 4 and just lost taste.


ThickAnalyst8814

i’m on day 6, had a lot of coughing in the first three days and then a terrible throat ache and sneezing afterwards. but since day 4 had no more symptoms. how about you? are you fine?


DoomenGloom

My legs don't work.


Ihateeshays

Patting my cat


squintintarantino__

Crippling depression and anxiety


fractalocean

Why jog when you can sleep


b0tb0y1654

Why sleep when you can reddit


J_Paul

Why reddit when you can lay there, unmoving, paralized by existential dread?


Walk1000Miles

The air quality and the temperature. In addition? My knees and other health issues, including heart and lung failure. All are horrible. So I exercise as best I can in my home.


ch1llboy

The forecast was for clear skies, but the smoke is so thick it is orange outside and I dont know where the sun is. Ash is falling. We expect to receive friends who are being evacuated if the wind blows the fire towards them tomorrow.


clutchjudd

I’ve lost almost all motivation for self improvement over the last year. I’m not in a good place.


mick_ward

Three knee operations.


IHoldKetchupBottles

My Ketchup is about to expire so I am staying home to have the rest of it with McDonalds and scroll through Reddit


hard-time-on-planet

Ketchup expires? I should probably throw out some stuff in my refrigerator.


stevo_of_schnitzel

"My condiment is about to go bad and MUST be consumed now not 30 minutes after my run" is really some masterful procrastination. My personal go to is "oh I can't go workout now I'm too hungry I won't have any stamina." Alternate with "oh I can't go workout now I just ate I'll feel ill."


MaelstromNyxus

Look, OP, I didn't come to Reddit to get attacked like this


FriskyPickle06

I don’t want to


ItsMyView

I'm not done eating a dozen doughnuts and drinking my milkshake. Once I am I'll be too full to run.


[deleted]

I mowed the lawn earlier and I’m tired, probably gonna go for 4-5 miles in the morning


CatDaddyWhisper

Recuperating from surgery. Severely fractured right foot, two metatarsals crushed with nerve ligament and tendon damage. I have another 5 weeks before I get physiotherapy and learn to walk again in a pool. So jogging, not on the itinerary right now. Moreover, I prefer mountain biking and kayaking.


HumanFemale04

Too many tweekers. I don't want to get stabbed.


stayclassypeople

Everytime I put on my shoes to go for a run my dog runs up to me all excited thinking she’s getting a walk and I can’t say no to her cute face so I give in an take her for a walk


GH_Art

It's just gone midnight & recently that woman was kidnapped & murdered by a dude & it caused a whole thing here in England. I feel like my 6'5" fat arse hoofing it down the poorly lit streets of England might be a bit intimidating to anyone walking home from work or whatever. That & my town is literally has news articles everyday for homicides, rapes, dognappings & anti social behaviour. Also, I'm tired.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ALeeEnne

It's dark out, the kids are asleep and too young for me to leave alone for long, and I'm the only adult in the house.