What's a sign that a movie is going to be bad?
By - Thats_What_Sh3_Sa1d
When the main actors name is bigger than the title on the poster.
Bonus points if the actors last name isn’t the REAL famous named actor. Example, Quentin Tarantino recently was on WTF talking about how his estranged father and Al Pacinos estranged father got together and made a few direct to video B movies. So they get to put “TARANTINO-PACINO” at the top of the poster for marketing. Then you see to random old dudes.
"Best of The Beatles" is the name of Pete Best's solo album.
I’m not even mad, that’s clever as fuck
That's actually a pretty solid pun
"Tarantino-Pacino" is surprisingly fun to say out loud.
Showing what is obviously the best part/climax in the trailer. If it isn't strong enough to catch my interest with the lead-up, it's likely gonna suck.
sometimes good movies do this too & its frustrating. why not save the best for (presumably) paying customers. i miss old trailers that used to be more vague and not give away the full experience
Source content is it's own thing, but the movie decides to 'bring it into the real world'. It's lazy and totally misses the point of why people like it.
eg. He-Man, Beastmaster 2, Smurfs, Garfield, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Garbage Pail Kids, etc.
An exposition in which one character explains everything that's going on to another character that should already know what is going on.
“Look I know we had a 40 minute drive to get here and I didn’t say shit, but I’m going to let you in on the plan 20 seconds before we go shootin up this place”
"Anyways, the whole operation is run by Tony Lazuto."
"As you know, I am the President of the United States."
This one was the exception that proves the rule.
"I'm going to make that young man the new Secretary for PARTYING DOOOWWWNN!"
FBI/CIA agents/criminal gang arrive at the scene
"So, run that plan by me again" or "Explain why we're here again?"
This always happens after a character says the magic words: "what are you talking about?" Every time a character says those words I want to smack the writer.
In a similar vein.
"Im hacking into their server to extract the data needed to compile our case."
***Overdramatic sigh*** "In english please."
... if you cant understand that you need to go back to high school.
Any time they’re “hacking into their server”. In 20 seconds? With no prep? Yeah ok. Sure. Yup.
"We need to hack their mainframe to disable the algorithms!... I'm in at the last second!" Fucking hell, I don't know much about hackng and programming except some Linux but really appreciate shows like Mr Robot where hacking is actually portrayed realistically
"As you know I conducted a raid on the great library"
It's an edgy reboot of a children's property that stopped being relevant a decade ago
The Powerpuff girl leaked script flashbacks.
I’m tired of gritty reboots. When will it be time for cheery rethinks?
Don't care, I want my Animorphs movie.
I'm probably being optimistic, but I like to think that when this happens probably the first few drafts were a lot more clever about incorporation, but it doesn't pass audience testing, so they end up having to spell things out at the last minute.
"I know we've been at odds ever since I chose to follow in Dad's footsteps as the kind of lawyer that is generally unlikable, but can't we put that aside and discuss this situation? And by situation I mean the mother's jewels that you don't think I'm entitled to?"
Those jewels are the only reason I’m visiting from New York or LA, where I normally am an architect. I know you want the jewels to impress the barista but I *need* the jewels or I won’t be taken seriously at the architects ball tomorrow. And my old boss, the president of architecture, will be there!
The president of architecture?!? You mean the same president of architecture that was responsible for the design of some old house or building that has a lot of sentimental value to someone in this movie that they're planning on tearing down? THAT president of architecture?
Just send these 3 comments to Hallmark. Looking forward to the premiere of "Christmas Jewels" the day after Thanksgiving.
Bah! I am shrewd businessman! I hate Christmas ever since Santa Claus killed my father when I was 7 years old. I don't care if you're a single mother and that jewelry business is your only source of income. I must tear down that old building to make place for big, fancy hi-tech accounting firm.
Reddit makes a shitty movie
[This funny sketch ](https://youtu.be/IQew6ZWJtfI)shows how lazy exposition is done in movies.
“You think I don’t know that, ghost of a little girl who died on my first case?!” That got me.
Edit: I’m slowly realizing that I’d actually love to see a movie where the whole thing is in this kind of dialogue non-stop.
Then the movie you want is Save Yourself - the entire thing is two people talking on an incredibly awkward first date
Take it easy on yourself, cap. You were just a rookie when that went down.
Big Hero 6 moment
"Unbelievable. What would mom and dad say?
I don't know.
They're gone. They died when I was three, remember?"
Remember that *one time* when our parents died?
I kinda have the opposite going on. My mom is dying of cancer and somehow every random movie I choose to entertain her has a fucking DYING PARENT or some shit like that.
We’re watching a movie and 1/2 through we’re hit with a parent dying and the kid suffering through coping with it.
As my mom is dying 5 feet away from
Me and I’m suffering through it.
For fucks sake, I just wanted a feel good movie.
Hereditary as a "family movie", I like her style.
Just play a movie where the kids die before the mother realises it’s too late
*eyeroll into another dimension*
God. That sounds fucking awful. And it’s exactly what my mother would do.
Directing credit goes to “Alan Smithee”
This is hilarious:
> Alan Smithee (also Allen Smithee) is an official pseudonym used by film directors who wish to disown a project.
> In 1998, the film An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn was released, in which a man named Alan Smithee (Eric Idle) wishes to disavow a film he has directed, but is unable to do so because the only pseudonym he is permitted to use is his own name. The film was directed by Arthur Hiller, who reported to the DGA that producer Joe Eszterhas had interfered with his creative control, and successfully removed his own name from the film, so Alan Smithee was credited instead. The film was a commercial and critical failure, released in only 19 theaters, grossing only $45,779 in the United States with a budget of about $10 million, and Rotten Tomatoes reports an aggregate critical rating of only 8% positive. The movie also won five Golden Raspberry Awards, including Worst Picture, at that year's event.
Oh wow - so the movie includes a fictional movie starring Whoopi Goldberg, Sylvester Stallone, Jackie Chan and others. One of the Golden Raspberry awards it was nominated for was “worst on-screen couple”. The nominees were: “Any combination of two people playing themselves”.
The movie also features Harvey Weinstein in one of his few acting roles
Yet the guy keeps on directing, he's the unknown artist of movies.
When the movie was supposed to be a drama and they changed it during filming to a comedy.
Does this happen a lot? This is not me challenging you lol id genuinely like to watch a train wreck that does this
Downsizing kinda feels like this. Starts as a comedy sort of, and trailers marketed it as such. Then suddenly it's a drama/romance/climate change thing. Made that whole movie feel super weird.
I hate when the movie is advertised as a comedy but it is actually just a drama. The Family Stone comes to mind.
If there are multiple trailers for a comedy movie, but they use the same joke in all of them.
Also when the trailer gives away the twist or climax of the movie. Remember that terminator movie where they reveal John was a terminator in the trailer? That’s when I knew I wasn’t gonna watch it.
or hell, if you feel like you saw the entire movie after just watching the trailer
Netflix is the worst for this. I can't believe they keep making 2.5 minute trailers and they just sequentially run through all of the key scenes in the film, including the climax. Who runs things there?
I was watching a Netflix movie and the still image they showed while it was loading was a major event from near the end of the movie
I remember being really into one of their Netflix Originals and a key plot point was that one of the characters had a missing brother they were trying to find. All the behind the scenes stuff was hyping up the episode saying its so emotional, the character has a break down thinking their brother is dead...and of course Netflix ruined it by making the preview picture for that episode the two characters reuniting. I still haven't forgave them.
That’s actually a really great point… never thought about that
If the character points out something that is blatantly obvious
"I'm here to make a drug deal. Where are the drugs."
*IN A WORLD, WHERE ONE MAN, HAS TO SAVE THE WORLD*
Man: I have to save the world.
Other character to man: "You have to save the world."
Villain: You’ll never save the world!
Love interest: You have to save the world, *for me*!
Wise old character near death: you have to save the world, not for them, but for...for yo-
The protagonist family dies: *sniffles*
The protagonist mentor dies:
A huge robot rises from a national monument while tectonic plates shift and crack, dragging millions to their doom.
White male protagonist: "Duh, that's not good."
Black male co-star: "Awww hell naw!"
"Somehow, Palpatine has returned"
has too many of what unknown critics say on the movie poster or trailer
It’s the thrill packed roller coaster of the season!
Or the quote on the poster is like, "it's...great" there's an entire paragraph bashing the movie cut out in-between those two words
Dennis Miller, back when he was funny, had a bit on this. The review could say something along the lines of, "Everyone involved in the production of this movie should be put into a gas chamber" and it would be shortened to simply, "...a gas"
When the commercials all have one or two word reviews.
And the reviews are from people ypu've never heard of.
"Feast for the Senses" - William Albertson of the Topeka Star Tribune Weekend Film Magazine (Online Edition)
“Excellent!” - Chris Campbell, Burnaby Now
“That was nice!” - Caroline Withers, Organist and part time moviegoer, 1st Baptist Church of Dover monthly newsletter and coupon catalog
Compelling! Splendid! Poignant! Riveting!
When they hype the movies soundtrack more than the film it’s self
Ex. Suicide squad
Let's face it... Once DC saw how well Guardians of the Galaxy did they pivoted HARD and said "Let's make ours like that one" and instantly the songs came flooding in (among other things).
I still wish I could find the original grimdark gritty trailer they released before the Bohemian Rhapsody one.
If it's being released in January. That isn't the case every time, just most of the time.
Morbius was moved from October (prime time for a vampire movie) to January. Doesn't exactly full me with hope.
Edit: I know that COVID affected movie schedules. However, October was Morbius' third release date. The second release date would have been last week in June. Venom 2 (which was originally going to release after Morbius) moved to September 2021. Morbius was moved to January 2022 after 007 No Time To Die was moved to October 2021.
I just don't find confidence in releasing a movie that is teasing greater connections to Spider-Man and the MCU in the month where movies go to die, especially if Venom 2 was moved forward.
Yup. For whatever reason, January is basically the cinematic dumping ground month.
This is the reason:
>The Oscar season is the time period in which Hollywood studios release or promote the films they consider most likely to be critically acclaimed, hoping to win at the Academy Awards. Oscar season usually begins in the late-fall and early-winter, around November, and ends on December 31 of that year, although the date in which the summer blockbuster season ends, and the Oscar season begins, are ambiguous, and dependent on the year.
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As two wise men from Milwaukee once said, "Fuck you, it's January!"
Whenever they start promoting their movie by constantly comparing it to one of the all time greats in the genre. If you are a fantasy movie and you have to state in the advertising that you are great just like Lord of the Rings, it makes me think you're movie is probably shit. Because you are not LOTR.
I hate when this happens with books! Literally *every goddamn collection of essays* gets compared to David Sedaris on the cover.
There's just no way to live up to the comparison. Let these books/movies stand on their own.
It's been in production for too long.
There's always a reason, for a recent example; 'Chaos Walking'. It changed screenwriter, director and production company so many times over 10 years but was sold on it been "A Charlie Kauffman movie starring Daisy Ridley and Tom Holland". Kauffman left in 2013, Ridley and Holland filmed it over years due to so many reshoots and failed screenings. Then Lionsgate said the negative reviews were shocking to them.. Really??
I forgive all movies from 2021-2023 for this.
A notable exception to development hell movies being bad is Mad Max Fury Road
*The Abyss* and *Titanic* both had serious production issues and long delays.
Yeah, but that was because Cameron is a perfectionist and drove everyone crazy with it, not because they kept changing the writer, director, producer, etc.
For _The Abyss_, it also didn't help that Cameron and the producer, Gale Anne Hurd, got married just before deciding to work on it as their next picture, got separated during pre-production, and got divorced after principal photography. As a side note, Cameron based the character of Lindsey on Hurd.
> As a side note, Cameron based the character of Lindsey on Hurd.
I kind of guessed that from just watching the movie.
She's actually an interesting character; for all their carefully crafted quirks, a number of the other characters fade into the background by comparison.
Critics did not receive an advance screening in order to write a review. It means the studio is hoping to at least recover an opening weekend of ticket sales before word gets out.
You see it more and more in the video game industry as well, where they either don’t give them review copies early, only give them for a specific platform, or won’t let them publish anything until a certain date.
There were some positive exceptions though. For example, Bethesda didn't send out any review copies for Doom 2016, so most people thought it would suck, especially considering the less than great multiplayer beta. But it turned out that it was a good game, so it was just Bethesda being weird.
"Get ready to see ____ back in action in the big screen!" This line is used in many bad movie trailers of old properties which are made into movies
“Who left the fridge open?” - Tugg Speedman, Scorcher VI: Global Meltdown
Here we go again…again.
The one man who made a difference 5 times before is about to make a difference again. Only this time, it's *different*!
Oh man, being confused and not knowing the movie actually started was the best feeling. ~~When they showed~~ After the Booty Sweat ad, that’s when it finally clicked.
Edit: Changed “when” to “after,” because people are pointing out Booty Sweat was the first ad. That was like 13 years ago guys.
Did Satan’s Alley not tip you off?
I've been a bad bad boy father
My wife and I watched this movie today, the first time in *years*, and I've already seen two posts about it and a meme
This synchronicity is fucking me up
“I’m back, baby”
-boss baby, 2021
My brother just tricked me into watching this movie.
He was like, “Hey, wanna see a movie?” And it wasn’t until I got to the theater that I thought to ask which movie it was.
But joke’s on him! He had to sit through the entire thing too.
I didn't want to be dragged into seeing a trolls movie. I mean who TF cares about trolls. It turns out trolls is a billion dollar franchise now.
singing killed my grandma
The preview shows a girl who’s Just Too Focused On Career to find love going back to her small hometown for whatever reason.
And she has a boyfriend but is having a hard time connecting with him. Her mom calls her and persuades her to visit and come home.
Hijinks ensue when she meets her male friend from her childhood who works at her parents country style business. Also her diverse gang of friends from the big city come down to rescue her from various awkward situations.
The Hallmark channel is offended by your comment. So they made another 10 films with DJ from Full House.
So every hallmark movie ever
There’s a snowstorm
And a puppy
And there’s a business man with briefcases for hands who hates Christmas for [insert cliche tragic backstory here]
From Huge City? I went to school with him back when he was Business Boy.
Starts with a ridiculous amount of exposition
Or the opposite:
"Somehow Palpatine Returned"
EDIT: I wasn't actually trying to bash the sequels. Just 9.
Basically have all mysteries and lose ends explained with one line or less
That was just so laughable, I still cannot believe it. I don't necessarily mean the fact he's back/still alive, but that particular sentence is so.. anticlimactic.
It's like they were sitting in the writers room pitching ideas and someone said: _"Hey, I got an idea. We need to flesh this one out but somehow Palatine returned and now they need to find and stop him"_ and then they never fleshed it out and took that sentence as-is.
Fleshing it out would have made it more obvious that their "plan" to stop him didn't actually exist.
"Palpatine cheated death and is now alive and has retroactively driven the plot of the entire sequel trilogy despite total physical annihilation on the Death Star II... so we must stop him by killing and totally physically annihilating his new zombie form! That will surely definitely work this time and requires no additional thought!"
It's directed by Uwe Boll.
It's always a good sign when a director starts challenging all of their critics to boxing matches.
I checked his imdb page...why do they keep letting him make movies? Haven't seen one above a score of 4.
It was basically a real-life version of 'The Producers': some German tax law made investing in flops a profitable exercise, so Uwe and his business buddies were somehow able to actually make money by producing derivative rubbish.
They eventually changed law, so he ended up having to beg for funding on Kickstarter and similar sites. He chucked a massive public hissy fit when nobody pledged any money.
The simple act of me wanting to watch it pretty much makes it a bad movie. I’m like a moth to flame with bad flicks.
Are you my husband?
Unfortunately he also argues with me over what a good movie is. He is notorious for liking complete shit movies. Everyone in a room will agree its bad and he will think its amazing and that we are being overly critical. Or if its just me and him he will try to prove me wrong by outting up review sites. He is always wrong. A lot of his favorite movies are 10 or less on rotten tomatoes. Poor guy.
Is his favorite the Emoji Movie? It was great and had a Candy Crush ad in the middle!
The near-constant advertising. Usually the exact same spot played before *every* video on YouTube.
Often, they'll feature an actor way more famous than the cast, with a minor cameo, front and center on the poster.
There's a whole phenomenon with actors like Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone doing action movies where they have top billing, but appear only for ten minutes.
Scream used this effectively with Drew Barrymore. She was the big name and killing her off a few minutes into the movie really shook up audiences when it came out.
Interestingly Drew Barrymore was the one campaigning hard for her character to die early, I think she was originally meant to play the final girl but she thought it would make the movie more shocking if even the most well known star in the film died ten minutes in.
So Space Jam 2
I 1000% agree with this statement. I have seen way too many fucking adverts for this movie literally everywhere. Sams club...yep. YouTube...yep. lebron himself after losing in the playoffs...yep. I mean for Fucks sake!
And Porky Pig rapping. That advert confirms to me this movie is gonna be a dumpster fire.
The fact that was a serious scene and not like a fozzy bear muppets rip off but like the joke is he is terrible, is ridiculous
They said the word family 20 times in 15 minutes and it's not a movie about a mob family.
It's okay, you can say Fast and Furious
The Family and the Famlious.
If my mom called to recommend it to me
I swear to god my grandma once came to tell me about this incredibly funny movie she saw on TV called *Jack and Jill*.
*puts grandma in a home
My mom (who knows I'm not a Christian): "Have you seen [low budget Christian film]. It's a true story about a kid who died and went to heaven and then was revived and tells everyone God exists. It's a great movie!"
Then I Google it and find out the kid grew up and said his father pressured him into saying all that stuff.
Thanks, Mom. I'll check it out tonight...
The best thing is that there’s always at least twenty movies that fit that exact description.
When one villain wasn't enough to make a movie, so they shoehorn in multiple half-arse villains instead.
Unless we get 6 prior movies focusing on each villain, we're never getting a good sinister six movie and that's very saddening
Remember when they first revealed Sonic?
Still can’t believe that the internet bullied a whole production company into making a better sonic design
if it's from the studio that brought you, "insert decent movie here "
Especially if it’s an old movie. Dreamworks still milks Shrek
Which is a shame because the How to Train your Dragon movies were great, ended only recentlyish and had all the heart and style. But I never see "from the makers" of that.
Or when it's really vague like, "from the guys who brought you Superbad" like WHICH GUYS???
The key grip and the dolly grip. Those guys know how to make a movie!
Or "from the producer(s) of." That tells you neither the actors nor the director is a selling point.
From the medium that brought you Citizen Kane
....and the Gaffer of Poltergeist.
Hey, leave Pat Blymyer out of this. The dude gaffed the shit out of that movie. The man is a treasure and should be treated with respect!
When I can tell how it's going to end by just watching the trailer.
putting a director who has no idea what the source material is about. Looking at you Dragonball Evolution
Artemis Fowl was more of a dumpster fire than the Percy Jackson films.
Tbf Artemis fowl was the absolute epitome of a dumpster fire because it stayed in production way too long and it went through so many hands that they just lost sight of the basic premise of the source material along with the plot, the characters and the setting, as well as what makes movies good. every review I saw from someone who didn't read the books was "maybe it'll be better to those who did..." No.it was worse. So much worse
A huge part of a main character's arc was her being the first female in her division-->movie makes her boss a woman too
MC is supposed to be a criminal mastermind who independent figured out fairys' existence and sussed out how to catch one all by himself--> dad tells him all about it and was on very good terms with the other MC's father until his mysterious disappearance
MC's mom is supposed to be depressed and insane due to her husband being missing and a massive plot point is at the end when the criminal mastermind MC trades back half the ransom gold to get her cured--> mom who?
Villain of movie--> isn't introduced until book two, also replaces Russian mob for kidnapping his dad
Macguffin of movie --> never mentioned or hinted at in any book
Criminal mastermind MC's ingenious way of escaping containment forcefield that is fairys' ace in the hole which nobody, not even a fairy ever figured out --> bomb it
Criminal mastermind MC is supposed to be ever-serious, uncoordinated, out of shape, and pale- intro him on a surfboard having fun
Bodyguard whose name is only learned as he draws his dying great in book three- everyone knowns his first name now, just don't call him "the butler"
Highly fit, 30s-mid 40s, bald, Eurasian bodyguard--> let's make him black with gray hair
I could go on..
Holy shit. I loved those books and haven't watched the movie because I've heard how bad it is. But everything you've said here......it's like a completely different story than the books. They would have been better making a whole new IP.
*"The Last Airbender" would like a word.*
"People like cheese, and they also like shredded cheese. So what I've learned from this is people will like it if you take something they love and, you know, tear it to pieces"
- Pitch Meeting Guy talking about TLA movie
I hate that the worst part about this is the creator Akira Toriyama **TRIED** to give the guy an honest opinion and notes on improving it from the source material but the guy shrugged him off every. time.
Heard about that too and it’s messed up. He was being nice and considerate but it ended up a train wreck. Was excited for the movie but my cousins and I were deeply disappointed.
what worse is Akira was a big fan of Hollywood movies & was very excited.
At least we got Super out of it. I say that's a win.
Dragonball Evolution is so hilariously bad that I ended up having a good time watching it. All it needed was an over the top Jeremy Irons to make it so bad it's good.
You had JAMES MARSTERS AS PICCOLO AND HE HAD TO ARGUE WHY PICCOLO HAD TO BE GREEN!
James Marsters aka Spike from Buffy and Brainiac in Smallville. He has played some great geek culture characters. I had hopes!
[But no, like Goku fighting/killing Piccolo in Dragon Ball it left a giant hole in my chest.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=M6OwPsPXyxY)
He does the audiobooks for The Dresden Files. Kills it.
When it is 10 mins in and you have said "What the fuck ?" under your breath 5 or more times.
When the opening credits tell you a really interesting story.
When the opening scene involves a shoot out with so many cuts you litterally cannot see what is happening, or who is shooting at whom.
When the narrator sounds bored.
If it opens with a narration starting with, "I know what you're thinking..."
It just screams desperation from a crowded writer's room.
EDIT: \*In a drama\*, Ragnarok and Megamind have a tongue-in-cheek tone, but some movies do it without irony (like Raya did recently).
Um The Emporers New Groove is flawless and you wont convince me otherwise.
Kuzco is the greatest Disney princess.
your probably wondering how i got here
baba oriley begins to play
well, it all started a couple days ago
OUT HERE IN THE FIELDS
when my life got a little... weirder
When the trailer shows you way too much.
When they try adding a irl trend in the movie, it's just cringe
even worse is when they try forcing memes into it. it's either cringe, or so outdated that it just looks stupid
The Emoji movie did both of these things.
The emoji movie *is* these things
Fellow kids material
It goes directly to the $1.00 movie house.
Too many commercials on TV, coupled with starting the promotion 4 weeks before the premier = bad movie.
When you've basically seen the entire plot of the movie and all main scenes in the trailer.
> all main scenes in the trailer.
There was a movie years ago that became infamous because the funniest scene in the trailer wasn't in the movie.
Rogue One got around this by including mostly scenes in the trailer that didn’t end up in the movie at all.
Or ones that were later re-shot. I recall Jyn walking down that walkway on the Scarif tower when a tie pops up in front of her. The tie doesn't appear in the movie, I was a bit confused.
Might've been from the "they survive" ending. Like it looks like Jyn is gonna die from a TIE only for the cockpit hatch to open and it is Cassian (the spy) or Bodie (the Imperial defector) inside to escape the planet.
When I went to see Star Wars, they showed the one minute cut of Batman vs Superman.
The entire fucking movie was in that trailer.