T O P

What screams "rich asshole"?

What screams "rich asshole"?

STAlexFree

I was in a meeting with the medical director for my old company a few years back. He was telling a story how he refuses to put a front plate on his fancy sports car and would rather just pay the $200 fine every time he got written up for a ticket. At the time I was broke and taking a series of busses and trains to work


CoolKTiger

“If the penalty for a crime is a fine, then that law only exists for the lower class” - Final Fantasy Tactics 1997


rockthrowing

I made a comment one time that getting a Christmas tree was just too much effort. They asked why bc “you just schedule an appointment. How hard is that? They bring the tree and set it up and do all the decorating for you” … I’m sorry what? This person had no idea that normal people do not just “order” a tree that is delivered and set up and decorated (and then taken away) every year.


sado22

Oh dear god. I grew up in Dubai and boy did I come across some textbook rich assholes. The place I worked at, had a fine for smoking in the toilet. One day I caught an Emirati customer smoking a pipe in there (because of course he was smoking a pipe). I told him he was going to be fined Dhs.100 (around $30). He looked at me, laughed and said: “Make the fine 10,000. That way at least it feels like a fine.” So I did. Honourable mentions: -tiger in bentleys -diamond studded anything -gold plated cars -walking around a mall with an exotic cat who is clearly uncomfortable Ah, Dubai.


PorkyPain

When an 18yr old flashes his new house he bought with his "own money" in Instagram. Followed by, "what have you guys been up to?"


Nevermind04

My uncle, who was was an incredibly successful heart surgeon at the time, once took me to a show in downtown Austin. When we got to the venue, there was nowhere to park. He rolled up to an area that had yellow stripes everywhere and big "no parking" signs. I pointed out that we can't park there, but he just replied "Nah, it just costs 400 something dollars to park here. I do it all the time. They won't tow a Porche." He was right, they didn't tow his car and just gave him a ticket.


a_burdie_from_hell

My sister works at a fancy private school, and she tells me rich asshole storys all the time. I think the worst though is this one student who is a foreign student that is litterally a princess from a royal family in a country that I won't name for privacy reasons. But she demands that the staff address her as royalty, and demands students at the school be forced to treat her respectfully. My sister also told me that a trend has happened throughout the school where students will reference eachother with royal monikers like "your highness" or "my lord" to piss her off, because if everyone is addressed like royalty then in the end it means nothing anymore.


GuyFromAlomogordo

Did anybody address her as "Your Royal Highass"?


dramboxf

I love the response of the kids to cut her legs out from under her. Brilliant, and perfect.


Marta-dunstock

"I'm gonna buy this nice building that has meaning to my town just to destroy it and not do anything useful with it"


favoritegoodguy

There are literally thousands of empty houses and apartments in our city just because of speculation reasons.


Munnerssss

Not paying your fucking staff. My boyfriend's ex-boss didn't pay my boyfriend (his only worker) for 6 months. Crying that clients weren't paying for their services, while he walked my boyfriend through his brand new, renovated kitchen. Fuck outta here with that shit.


VeritasCicero

Why is your bf working without pay is the real question.


blipsman

Having mommy & daddy throw enough money around to make problems go away and get what you wanted in the end… Guy I knew growing up, and then we ended up at same college. His dad was some bigwig real estate guy, mom was a heiress to well known brand. He was very status conscious and knew he could always buy way out of trouble. Always some shady, borderline illegal scheme to make more money, usually so he could buy himself a Rolex or shit. Anyway, our university was pretty elite, but he wanted to go to “the best” in his area of study. So he planned to transfer. He got like a 3.98 GPA (couldn’t buy off a PE teacher to get an A), but because he was an entitled jerk couldn’t get professors willing to write letters of recommendation. So he forged one, mailed it out, but forgot postage, and got discovered when it went “return to sender” to a professor who hadn’t written it! His parents flew down, made a giant donation to our school, and the administration didn’t inform his intended university of his stunt. He got in, he left our school, got his “best” degree and last I heard was working on Wall St. I’m always amazed he hasn’t ended up in prison for some sort of white collar shit.


benseisant

My friend went to a rich kids’ school. Wasn’t rich herself, got in on scholarship but she has the craziest spoiled rich kid stories. One of them is when she overheard a girl complaining about her family going to Italy for the summer because she wanted to go back to Spain. She was on the verge of tears about how she never gets what she wants.


sanguinesolitude

Mine was the girl in my highschool who was upset because daddy bought her a brand new bmw 3 series and she was upset because she wanted a Landrover. Ended up crashing the car and got her Landrover after all.


its_meme69

woah. i'd be happy with a fucking corolla


emmster

I got a five year old, 100,000 mile, no features, stick shift Nissan hardbody pickup truck. I paid the fee to transfer ownership and get the license plate, and I was *freaking delighted.* I drove it for ten more years, and it was still in really good shape. I still drive the best used car I can get on my budget. I can’t imagine being upset to be just handed a new car of any kind. Not only is it being ungrateful for a gift, but it’s a major gift.


HitEmWithDatKTrain

Had a girl in my college whose father sold a cyber security startup to a major company everyone has heard of for 9 figures. She got a $30k monthly allowance.


Intrepid_Salamander7

I dated someone who legitimately complained about her parents only giving her a 2K per month allowance. I later realized that they bought her house and car outright and paid for her utilities. The 2K was food and spending money. It blew my mind. Then I realized *I had paid* for our date. Wtf Edit: I would not have called this comment wholesome, but thanks for the award!


TermiteLife

I have a doctor customer who owes me money. Man got the nerve to have 3 personal luxury vehicles (lives alone) but can’t cut me a check when I come to service his house.


nyenbee

I taught private swim lessons for a while in a wealthy region of Georgia. The price for a 2 wk session of classes was $150 per child. I usually had the parents prepay each 2 wk session prior to the first class. One client was the town doctor. She was the only general practice office in that area and was well-known amongst the "summertime at the lake house" crowd. Anyway, she forgot cash to pay and offered me a check, but I didn't like accepting checks. I told her to bring it for the next class. She forgot again. At that point I thought to myself, well she's a doctor, she's just "forgetful" in her personal life. At the 3rd class, I asked her to run into town while class was going on and I sidelined her son until she got back. So she comes out and says, "oh we were talking and I didn't get a chance to go to the atm." Finally I accepted her check. It bounced. I had to drive all the way back up there and go to her bank. I forgot what it's called, but I submitted the check to the bank to be paid out as soon as enough funds hit the account. The problem is, she had been dribbling checks all over the place and I basically had to wait my turn. It took 3 months to be paid $150. Three. Months. From that I learned, if you make $100k per year and have $101k worth of bills and debt, you're broke, point blank period. Btw: I had to put her son out of the class with all of his little friends. Some of the other parents complained that I was being too strict, so I offered for them to pony up $17.00 each to pay for little Chase's lessons. No one wanted to do that.


420blazeit69nubz

Funny they want you to eat the whole thing but they don’t even want to pay a tenth of that lol


listerinecleancotton

They don’t care about Chase getting lessons - they care that they’re embarrassed because their kids see them in a position to help a friend & they don’t want to help


Jay-jay1

When I had a small biz I had people that promised to pay cash, but whip out a checkbook when it was time to pay, and flippantly say, "A check is as good as cash.", when asked. Sometimes I would tell them I planned to fill the truck with gas and asked them which station will accept their check to me. Then they stammer that they do not have cash or forgot to get it. I then would quietly go to the work area and begin dismantling whatever I installed. Funny how fast they would find cash without leaving the house.


BruceeThom

This is just insane to me. Pay your damn bills. We try to use local people for everything and I make sure they get their money asap. There is no reason to take your time paying someone for the work they did. Unless dude doesn't have the money he is trying to portray he does ... which is a huge possibility too.


nomanz57

That’s not rich. That’s called car poor. Overextending credit, low cash flow.


im4peace

A shocking number of rich people are poor. Living beyond your means happens across all class boundaries. I used to be a wedding photographer and the only check I ever had bounce was for the wealthiest customer I ever had. They couldn't get together $1,900 to pay me for 7 months even though they made over $200k/year in a low cost of living region. Fancy house, fancy cars, empty bank accounts.


MutantCreature

“$2000 bag with no cash in your purse”


[deleted]

Advice I learned somewhere was “don’t buy a handbag if you can’t keep the same amount of money as the cost of that bag in the purse.” I might have butchered the saying, but basically, don’t buy a $2,000 handbag if you can’t afford to hold at least $2,000 in said bag Edit: typo


LittleWhiteBoots

This is the socialite version of “All hat and no cattle”


iamdecal

My mum calls it “all fur coat and no knickers”


Emily7270

A Canada Goose coat when you live in Florida. I’m totally not referencing anybody right now.


rdthay

Those are super popular amongst mainland Chinese too along with Supreme


bobbi21

Can confirm with having chinese parents. It's a thing for us anyway. Feel like its the ultimate "put a jacket on, its cold outside". Have a $1000 jacket. It must be better.


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myhamsterisajerk

"Do you know who i am?" No bitch, i don't and i don't care. GTFO


lynxminx

I worked door at a club for a while and got this several times a night for years. Half the time I knew exactly who they were, I was acting on explicit instructions regarding them.


Dason37

That's so funny. I'm sure it would be hard for you to do dialogue with the noise level around you but, "yes I do, you're Jim Smith, and last Saturday night you sucker punched another patron and threw a table when we kicked you out." Would be great.


lynxminx

It's a lot easier to just say 'Do you know the promoter? Call them'. The promoter then pretends they never heard the call and I'm the only bad guy. :)


Bopper34

Hahaha solid. I love the "yea call your boy" and let them stand a few feet away while the dude never answers.


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spectrumero

There is (hopefully not an urban legend) story about someone doing the "Do you know who I am!?" angrily at a gate agent at an airport. The gate agent picks up the PA mic and announces "Customer service to gate 17, I have a gentleman here who doesn't know who he is"


TheWhompingPillow

I worked at an arena for an NHL team, and the local WHL team played there, too. WHL team could pull 5000 people on a good night, and I think the players got paid maybe $150 a week or something? All teenagers 15-17 or so. This WHL team was shit and always lost, so it's not like it was full of future stars. One day I was taking tickets for a WHL game and this teenage girl comes up, dressed nice and wearing expensive clothes, but didn't have a ticket. When I said she couldn't go in, she dropped that line on me, "Don't you know who I am?" I said no, and she said she was the team captain's girlfriend. I said that maybe she could go to a different gate where there was a concierge desk where people left tickets in such situations. She left. I thought to myself, bitch if you don't already know where the special entrance is, and if you don't already have a ticket in hand, maybe you aren't as special as you think you are.


xtzferocity

I worked for a WHL team last year and those teenagers walk around like they’re movie stars. Edit: wrong there because I’m dumb.


Down2ATee

And that's when she realized she was not the girlfriend, but the side piece.


ScribblerJack

Had a rich guy ask me once what my favorite brand of water was. …uh, Great Value?


Dharga_pie

Tap water comes to mind.


Anonvoiceofreason

"There's no punishment, I just pay $200 if I get caught"


glitterswirl

Police in London had a huge problem with this when super-rich Arabs would come to London for the summer, and park their expensive supercars anywhere they liked, even if it wasn't legal or safe. Then when police or parking inspectors etc came along and told them to move the car or be fined, they'd just casually pay a fine of hundreds of pounds on the spot and walk away. The police had to show them it was an actual *crime* before some of them stopped.


6-underground

You guys don’t tow?


ilmonstro

The London Borough of Kensington and Chelsea definitely have no problem towing these arseholes' cars. A little while ago there was a whole flurry of pictures in the news showing Ferraris, Mercs and Lambos being loaded onto the backs of the council's flatbed trucks and delivered to the car pound.


BlitzWing1985

this is news to me. I was always under the impression the powers at be looked the other way because they would drop stupid amounts of money while out and about and in some cases owned near by property and local officials didn't want to deal with their shit. basically I assumed they all had "fuck you" kinda money.


syanda

Yeah, but not even fuck you money will budge a parking inspector who truly wishes to play fuck fuck games with illegal parkers, especially when they probably make less in a month what the rich asshole makes in a day and this is their god given chance to fuck over a rich asshole.


BlitzWing1985

Man never thought I'd see the day parking inspectors would be the ones trying to fight the 0.1%


slvrsmth

They are not fighting the rich. They hate everyone equally, Ford or Ferrari.


MeowzzoSoprano

My mom and I walked up to her car once, just as college parking enforcement put a ticket on it. She totally deserved it, but I'll never forget my mom screeching "DID YOU JUST GIVE ME A TICKET?" and the rent-a-cop responding by *tipping his aviator glasses at her* and sashaying away like he had saddle sores. Neither one of them appreciated me doubling over laughing.


indehhz

Is this activism? Maybe I should become a parking inspector...


Spiderbanana

In Geneva they had problems with Russians parking in illegal or dangerous spots. Due to their license plates being written in Cyrillic, for a long time it was impossible to enter them in the electronic system.


Bigarette

Or just tow it if they where really serious.


CloneDrooper

I was dining at restaurant opposite Harrods once. This Arab came in with a model, and he parked his super car out front. The traffic wardens came to say they are putting tickets on the car, the Arab said "yeah whatever". Its a flex for them too on dates.


Yoshi_87

I don't even think it's a flex for them. 200USD is less for them than 2 Cents are for us.


DemedesLong

I had a wealthy Turkish roommate in college and it was funny because she was saying that in Turkey, cars are dirt cheap but booze is really expensive so she was thrilled when we went to the gas station and bought 4 four looks and a bottle of wine for less than $15 dollars


giscard78

Decades ago my dad was stationed in Turkey and he said the officers used to buy cars, import them, then sell them to locals at 2-3x the price they paid for it. I’m sure things have changed since then because it’s been so long.


binkerton_

When i had trouble paying for college my aunt suggested i use financial aid and proceeds to tell me how they had to lie about their income and where their daughter was staying to get it. And on the application they listed her trip to the bahamas as mission work. They laughed because their dughter "couldnt even stand to look at those dirty children" but they wrote it up like she was teaching them the bible. Edit: its the awful comments that always blow up. Thanks for the silver and the other award. As an update this aunt has come back home to steal antiques and valuables from my elderly grandfather and she and her husband are part of a yacht club (might actually be a sailboat? Its big) and they sail around the us doing the "great loop" going around the east coast, through the canal, and down the missisipi.


jijijojijijijio

Wow that is really an asshole move


throwaway6308

It’s also fraud.


sticks14

Wow.


rachel-karen-green-

TIL I hate people more than I thought


GeekyBookWorm87

The CEO of the non-profit hospital I work for won't give us a COVID bonus but he got over a 4 million-dollar bonus.


Rocket5454

First thing that comes to mind is this, I was in middle school, and a group of kids were hanging out and I knew 2 of them so I went to talk to them. Girl drops her phone intentionally, it was an iPhone 8, and at the time it was the newest thing. Brand new phone too. She threw it on the ground again on the linoleum floor. The phone screen cracked. After that I asked why she did that because those are super expensive. She said it didnt matter because her mom would just buy her a new one. Edit: turns out it was an iPhone 7 but I know it was brand new at the time she had it.


invisblizz

maybe i’m a dumbass, but why would she drop her phone intentionally? just for fun??


flapjackandknuckles

she was probably wanting her parent’s attention and the only way she knew to get it was to make them spend money


thundermonkeyms

Me, two nights ago. Three assholes came in to eat at the restaurant I work at, more than an hour late for their reservation and roughly 75 minutes before we were legally required by the city to kick them out (covid curfews are still in effect, if you get caught you risk losing your liquor license). When we dropped the check and explained the situation, they screamed that it was unacceptable because they had spent so much money with us. Guess what? Other people spent more than you that same night, AND they were on time! We're not interested in risking a whole business and a few dozen peoples' jobs because you can't tell time and think that the world is going to stop for you.


Lovebot_AI

Me whenever I hear Joel Osteen's name mentioned


Ekaj__

Wouldn’t be surprised to hear he's raising pygmy camels and building giant needles


[deleted]

My favorite line about Joel Osteen is from a bill burr stand up "that guys so full of shit he can't even keep his eyes open"


bigblueberryboobies

I used to do character bday party gigs in La. Those who were middle class or less would always tip me too much, feed me too much, and I would meet everyone in their family. When I worked the elite in Beverly Hills or Pacific Palisades Mansions I would never meet the parents. They wouldn't be at the party. I would be wandering around the party as Darth Vader or Batman (mostly blind) asking people where the parents were so I could get paid and get going. Only for the butler to take me aside and hand me an envelope with exact change of how much they owed me.


FlappyBoobs

Hehehe walking around a party dressed as batman asking where the parents are is hilarious.


The_Book-JDP

You know if everyone got "a better job" like rich assholes say we all should then there would be no one to cook and bring their food out to them and no one to dress up for their shitty little entitled children's birthday parties then what will they do?


ImNotTheNSAIPromise

Complain about how nobody wants to work hard for the scraps they offer.


kouignie

“Just wait til you hear from my lawyer!” “Do you even know who my dad is?”


The_P_word

"Do you know who I am?" "Do you know who my family is?"


funkyg73

“I’m Ronnie fucking Pickering”


superdupersmoke

Who?


Key-Faithlessness308

RONNIE PICKERING


waldocalrissian

Who's that?


Ok-World-4822

ME!


WhichSpirit

I live in an area a lot of rich New Yorkers fled to when the pandemic started. One of them actually used the "Do you know who I am?" line on me. It was so satisfying to say no.


wufoo2

This may be an apocryphal story, but the best answer to that question has been attributed to an airline ticket counter employee. She was getting an earful from a privileged customer who finished his tirade with, “do you know who I am?“ And apparently, he said it so loudly that everyone around him heard it. Without missing a beat, she picked up the microphone, and announced that the man in front of her needed help figuring out who he was, and anyone who knew was welcome to help him.


bluekudu

That was the exact story that came to mind for me!


semiomni

What comes to mind for me is a scene in a TV show (Veronica Mars) where a character is turning in his homework late, and the teacher is not having it, so the guy goes "Do you even know who I am?" and when the teacher says no, he stuffs his paper in the middle of the pile of homework and walks off.


FromFluffToBuff

Which itself was lifted from a commercial featuring a student who finishes writing his exam past the final bell and when he turns it in, he's confronted by the prof with the exact same line. Student chuckles and puts his paper somewhere in the middle of the pile and walks away. I remember my family laughing at this ad in the late 90s - and it predates Veronica Mars by at least 5 years.


sinkwiththeship

It also happened in the movie Slackers.


Geminii27

"There's knowing and then there's caring."


squeakycleaned

Ok so I have a story for this one. In college there was a guy on my team who was a pretty nice kid overall, but was clearly brought up with more money than sense. One night we’re walking home shit faced from a party, and he thinks it would be funny to steal a parking cone. I’m in no position to judge, because I had done the same not too long before, but I was a little more subtle. He then also decides he wants to steal a parking barrier. Like why? So he’s carrying these two enormous neon orange items, and with 100yds to his apartment, Campus Police pulls up on us. My friend drops them and keeps walking, as if they’ll think “someone else must have left these things here, and not those two guys who are here alone at 3am”. Cops tell him to go get the stuff because they’re gonna drive him back to where he took it from. Our campus police were very chill. Good deal right? Well this kid starts with the “my dad is a lawyer, which means I know the law, and I’m not getting in that car without probable cause for arrest”. These guys are dumbfounded, because they were giving him the easy way out. So one of them goes “I COULD have you on stolen property and arrest you. I’m offering to help. What do you want to do?” I wish I could say the kid was smart and just stopped. Nope. He kept at it. He ended up getting multiple tickets, and was kicked off campus for “behavioral issues.” Thankfully he’s doing much better now, though he’s still a bit of a rich prick. Just more subtle about it.


The_P_word

When keeping it real goes wrong. Interesting story btw. I'm not sure how close you were with said friend at the time but I may have hit the "Sir im not with him" button on that one. Like he was caught they gave him a easy way out, and he still had to continue his agenda...mmh prides a bitch sometimes.


squeakycleaned

Oh I hit the “nope” button real quick. I forgot to mention that when he walked to get the two things, he put his hands behind his head and slow walked. The cops both looked at me with the “is your friend fucking serious?!” And I whispered “he’s on my team. Just trying to get him home.” They both let me know that I was good and could leave, but I wanted to stick around for the show


pygmypuffonacid

you were a good friend trying to get him home safe... but he was an idiot


Green-Muscle-1157

"Don't you know who I think I am?"


emij22

* Expecting special treatment by default (store employees, bars/clubs/restaurants) * Cutting to the front of lineups * Being confused why someone doesn't "just replace" something that's getting worn (i.e. shoes, old phone models, gaming consoles, house repairs/decor)


nicolajmk

Kids who complain when their parents buy them their first car


Plaguenurse217

I literally saw this happen with a friend of mine. Her parents bought her a car and it wasn’t what she wanted. So she got mad and complained about for weeks. It’s a nice car, not a sport car or anything but expensive. Her dad makes millions and she grew up thinking that’s how everyone was. College was an eye opening experience for her!


AshleighLouiseNZ

Yes! I hate in movies when teenagers complain about being given their Mum’s minivan!


OneFrenchman

My first car was my moms minivan, and it was the best vehicle to drive my mates around in. I camped in it a few times, went to foreign lands... Minivans are great when you're 18-25.


[deleted]

Beats shoving 2 people in the trunk of a Miata.


mrinkyface

I can do illegal things and the government will side with me Edit: I’m not rich


barkcuban

Brock Turner the rapist - this is his defense strategy. And his little dad, too.


No-Lingonberry-7183

Wasn't there a video of some guy that got choked out after headbutting a waiter? That video just screams "Rich Asshole"


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PortGlass

Yeah, it’s Joel Michael Singer he’s talking about. I saw the video of Joel Michael Singer do that too. In the video, Joel Michael Singer does not come across as a nice guy.


Teegster

[This video of Joel Michael Singer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6jWhhqodZo) where he headbutts a waiter and then gets fucking taken to the floor in a heartbeat? Is this the video of Joel Michael Singer being a massive douchebag the one you're talking about?


Chocolateismy

Can’t be that video. Joel Michael Singer had his video erased from the internet


Frogs4

Joel Michael Singer, you say? I'll make sure I never mention him again.


spacesticks

Please do not say Joel Michael Singer. If you say Joel Michael Singer then this reddit thread could potentially be indexed on google when people google Joel Michael Singer. I don't think Joel Michael Singer or Joel Michael Singer's lawyers or Joel Michael Singer family would want that. Let's think about Joel Michael Singer and what Joel Michael Singer's family would want. Joel Michael Singer.


bruh_momentum1284

Yeah what if Joel Michael Singer pulls a Joel Michael Singer and tries to get this thread about Joe Michael Singer gone because Joel Michael Singer doesn't want people to know about the Joel Michael Signer incident where Joel Michael Signer headbutted a waiter because he's Joel Michael Singer


spacesticks

Sir please don't say: "Yeah what if Joel Michael Singer pulls a Joel Michael Singer and tries to get this thread about Joe Michael Singer gone because Joel Michael Singer doesn't want people to know about the Joel Michael Signer incident where Joel Michael Signer headbutted a waiter because he's Joel Michael Singer" Because if you say: "Yeah what if Joel Michael Singer pulls a Joel Michael Singer and tries to get this thread about Joe Michael Singer gone because Joel Michael Singer doesn't want people to know about the Joel Michael Signer incident where Joel Michael Signer headbutted a waiter because he's Joel Michael Singer" Then it might get indexed in google and people will be able to read: "Yeah what if Joel Michael Singer pulls a Joel Michael Singer and tries to get this thread about Joe Michael Singer gone because Joel Michael Singer doesn't want people to know about the Joel Michael Signer incident where Joel Michael Signer headbutted a waiter because he's Joel Michael Singer". Also, for context: Yeah what if Joel Michael Singer pulls a Joel Michael Singer and tries to get this thread about Joe Michael Singer gone because Joel Michael Singer doesn't want people to know about the Joel Michael Signer incident where Joel Michael Signer headbutted a waiter because he's Joel Michael Singer


pinkwatermelooone

Guys, stop talking about Joel Michael Singer! He doesn't want his name out there! Joel Michael Singer, if you see this, sorry no one respects your wish to be wiped from the internet


undeadbydawn

I've never heard of Joel Michael Singer before, but this may be my favourite thread of the year. Excellent work, people


hamfisted_postman

Are you guys talking about Joel Michael Singer?


TXblindman

Who the fuck is this Joel Michael Singer? /s


LeonardMH

Wait for real though who is Joel Michael Singer? Should I know who Joel Michael Singer is or is Joel Michael Singer just known for being a guy that head butted a waiter?


KwordShmiff

Joel Michael Singer is known for his role in being Joel Michael Singer.


CrypticBalcony

He’s getting the Brock Turner treatment lol


dEftPunk_

Indeed Joel Michael Singer is getting that Brock Turner the rapist treatment. Edit: Thanks for the award!


CrypticBalcony

Oh, you mean Convicted Rapist Brock Turner? That Brock Turner?


silverhydra

The rapist... which rapist? Oh yeah, *that* rapist. The back alley rapist. The rapist who assaulted an unconscious woman and got a light sentence due to daddy's money. The rapist specifically named Brock Turner, Brock Turner the Daddy Money Rapist; that rapist?


GloomyCamel6050

Yes, I think it is the Brock Turner the rapist, whose photo was included in a textbook on abnormal psychology as example of Brock Turner the rapist.


The_Foe_Hammer

As someone who was outraged at the light sentence Brock Turner the Rapist received, it pleases me that so many people are acknowledging that Brock Turner the Rapist was really a textbook case of being a rapist.


crungemuffinsinger

#Joel Michael Singer who??


AndrewZabar

I’m pretty sure he’s talking about Joel Michael Singer. I read something about Joel Michael Singer, and then I saw the video and, sure enough, it was Joel Michael Singer. So this sounds like him. Him, meaning Joel Michael Singer.


Yrcrazypa

The funny thing is, I'd have never heard of the name Joel Michael Singer if Joel Michael singer wasn't a colossal douchecanoe. Man, if Joel Michael Singer didn't want it known that Joel Michael Singer is a colossal asshole who attacked waiters and then got his ass handed to him then Joel Michael Singer shouldn't have been an asshole.


random_clonetrooper

>Apparently he’s used his dads money to try to erase his name from the internet because of the video Has ~~he~~ Joel Michael Singer not heard of the [Streisand effect?](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streisand_effect)


[deleted]

Nah, I am doubtful Joel Michael Singer of Florida thought of that first.


HighWarlockofHell

"My father will hear about this!" *Gets turned into a ferret*


4b-65-76-69-6e

Alastor, is—is that a *student?!*


Ishiibradwpgjets

2 parking spot Parkers.


heisdeadjim_au

I'll raise you a four spot wanker I had at work yesterday. Think two rows of parks, yeah? Parked over the common point of all four.


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ErwinFurwinPurrwin

I had a ridiculously rich landlord once. Owned who knows how many houses, enough acreage to make a large US county, and a plane. Tried to complain to me because I, *the person paying rent,* wasn't doing anything to improve *his* fucking house that I was *paying him* to live in. Bitch, it's your house, you improve it. Privileged asshole.


adjika

What was the landlord expecting? It’s one thing if he/she requested that you mow the lawn, take out the garbage, and be a decent tenant. But was this person expecting you to remodel the bathroom on your own dime?


ErwinFurwinPurrwin

Like replacing window sashes that were probably 30 years old on my own dime, repairing and upgrading the plumbing on my own dime, that sort of thing. The penny-pinching shit.


adjika

Did you get that in writing from them?


ErwinFurwinPurrwin

No, I just asked him to show me where it was written in the contract that renters were obligated to upgrade \*his\* properties. He said that it was "assumed." I told him to fuck off. Last I heard out of him about it. We were on friendly terms otherwise, but when he was in landlord mode he was a twat.


o6ijuan

100k diamond buttplug


Linden_fall

That’s one rich asshole I wish I had


DELCO-PHILLY-BOY

My dad when the guy in the BMW cuts him off.


rambunctiousrhino24

My Dad always goes "BMW! The number one transporter for assholes!" In his best advertisment voice


OMGEntitlement

Fun story: a few years ago my brother-in-law was buying a new car. He'd narrowed it down to an Audi or a BMW. Went to a gathering at his dad's house. A person present told a joke: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? Porcupine has the pricks on the OUTside. Brother-in-law bought an Audi.


MateForever

Don't have enough money? "Just buy stocks" Don't find an apartment to rent? "Just buy an house"


TheFuckNameYouWant

"Well I tried to buy a house. The bank said that I can't afford $1,200/month for a mortgage so I pay $2,300/month for rent instead."


kabukistar

Being poor is expensive.


Jonesystuff

My cousin’s wife (very rich) stayed at our house while she and my cousin were in town, she brought her dog with her. One day we went out to pick up some groceries and run some errands, she decided to stay home by herself. While we were out her dog got sick in our house…when we got home, a few hours later, she calmly came downstairs and said…oh while you were out the dog got sick and she pointed at the spot, expecting us to clean it up for her. I can’t imagine what her life was/is like that led her to not immediately clean up her dogs own shit. Instead she just let it sit there for hours, stressing out waiting for the help. Ugh haha


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tahitidreams

My brother-in-law and sister in law: Them-“We don’t have any more money than you guys do and we are able to save a lot.” Also them-“we had to pay $167,000 in taxes this year, how are you guys getting a refund?” They obviously have way more money than us with that tax bill. Edit: This is their personal tax, they do not own a business. However, they do have a “rental property”. By that, I mean they have a vacation house that they Airbnb out once every couple of months.


TheLackadaisical

Omg my ex was full of them. Here’s a few: - Always buying new clothes, shoes, or accessories compulsively because “you should be willing to invest in your appearance at all times.” Which I can agree with to an extent, but not in Burberry. He’d drop at least 5k per visit. - Refusing to eat at a restaurant that is part of a chain and complaining to the people who are buying you dinner there about it. Making fun of the waitstaff too. - Laughing at homeless people and thinking they’re a joke. - Making fun of people purely based on their attire or car they drive. ... there’s a reason he’s my ex now.


taurealis

That first one reminded me of an ex who owned over $12,000 worth of socks. They were generally a decent person but I knew it wasn’t going to work when I learned that they spent more than my mother’s yearly income on food and alcohol *in a month*.


QuigandJas

being rude to service workers. I had a rich friend in middle school, we would go to a chick fil a after school and he was rude to the workers, I told him in cashier's earshot that the workers get to your food first, who knows what they can do to it. Freind had a 180 turn around to service workers after that.


SuspiciousMinute1565

Workers be like "He is the chosen one"


BlahbluhblihMan

"He will bring balance"


thephilberg

This mentality: Parking tickets aren't tickets. They're just the price it costs to park there.


SakshiPawar96

People who answer statements of “ohhh I wish I had this” with “just buy it?” If I could buy it without being stressed out wouldn’t I have bought it already? Idiot.


arafdi

Ugh, used to have one of those girls in class back in HS. She'd *actually* mock us for being "dumb" or "overthinking it" whenever we're talking/complaining abt some expensive phone or gaming rig or even just a game... The kicker was the (at first jokingly) monicker we gave her "Rich People Syndrome" or RPS... Yet she just adopted it proudly. Like... these people exist lol.


cultured_banana_slug

Oy, when I went to UC Santa Cruz, there were so many of these little shits. I went to the movies with one (she was the roommate of a friend). She wanted to go to the movies again and I said I couldn't. I couldn't afford to go more than once a month. She was like, just ask your parents for money. They don't have any. Just tell them you need it. They. Do. Not. Have. The. Moooooney. It was like I was trying to explain string theory to a clam.


LordsMail

Had a very similar experience in middle school, we were all talking about whatever the new game console was, near Christmas. Mentioned I'd love to have one but knew I wouldn't get one. Dude was like "Just ask Santa for it." Could not get it through his head that "Santa" can't afford to bring me a fuckin GameBox9000. I don't think he actually thought Santa was real, but he knew he would *always* get the gift he "asked Santa" for.


SlenderSpade

The one who awards himself platinum through his alt account


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Zapplarang

But that’s a gold…


SlenderSpade

thats not me


FTERIUMP

> Seriously, who has the money to waste on Reddit awards? Seriously


digipig

Being handed capital to invest or a job that was handed to you by your family and claiming to be “self made”


Robestos86

I bought an apple for 10cents,sold it for twenty, so I bought 2 and sold them for forty. Then on and on until a relative died and left me his fortune 500 company.


mistoffoleess

Not paying taxes and having employees who still qualify for welfare.


PM_WORST_FART_STORY

Don't forget bitching about the audacity of said employees accepting the welfare benefits.


WeAllEndUpDyingAlone

Light prison sentence


PrometheusAborted

I work for the post office in Arizona. Our office services several rich neighborhoods where half its residents have multiple homes. We constantly get people who pull up in their nice new Caddy or Lexus or whatever. They come in and tell us they’re leaving to go to their summer home and then they buy stamps and bitch about how they used to be 4 cents or whatever. Dude, you’re retired with multiple homes and cars, you golf all day and you clearly have enough money that I shouldn’t have to hear you bitch about buying a 55 cent stamp. Fuck off.


mcg42ray

Steve Jobs. Co-founder of Apple (you've probably heard of him) He refused to have a license plate on his car (a Mercedes SL55 convertible). California allowed six months to get a license plate put on your car, so every six months he'd trade in the car for a new lease. And just in case you think that this sounds too ridiculous to be true ... [https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/steve-jobs-car-apple-ceo-license-plates/story?id=14834608](https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/steve-jobs-car-apple-ceo-license-plates/story?id=14834608) I used to work in Silicon Valley and, for a while, at Apple. Steve Wozniak, last I saw about 3-4 years ago, drove a white Prius with the license plate "WOZ" edit: come to think of it, it might have been a Chevy Bolt. It's been a while.


WhimsicalWalrus23

I remember driving in LA for the first time and being weirded out by how many cars just didn’t have plates. What happens if they hit and run?


mcg42ray

California now requires that all new cars be sold with temporary plates


suid

That finally started last year. New cars now have a dealer-issued "paper plate" that looks [just like the real thing](https://www.autotrader.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/temp-1.jpg), with a temporary license plate number.


InappropriateGirl

I totally remember this. What’s funny is that back then I’d heard he was really superstitious about numbers or something, and never wanted a plate. I’d assumed he didn’t want anyone recognizing his car. Later I was told that it had something to do with his propensity for parking in disabled spots.


MistakeMaker1234

Well if you consider how he handled his cancer diagnosis, him parking in disabled spots seems apt.


DarthYippee

>I’d assumed he didn’t want anyone recognizing his car. I would've thought it'd be easier to recognise *without* plates.


Psychological_Nets

Another story about him. After a while, numbered badges were given to Apple employees. Steve Wozniak, the co-founder got the badge #1. Steve Jobs made a scene refusing the badge #2... and a special badge #0 was created for him. Later, he completely refused to wear the magnetic badge and someone had to escort him everywhere to unlock all the doors.


LampGrass

Holy crap, that first story is something a toddler would pull. And he got away with it 🤦‍♀️


Teegster

>Steve Wozniak, last I saw about 3-4 years ago, drove a white Prius with the license plate "WOZ" Truly he is worthy of the title The Great Wizard of Woz.


SortedChaos

He is sort of treated l like that. I was fortunate enough to run into him during a tech conference. He was bombarded with IT professionals asking him questions. He was there as a speaker but also attending sessions. He never got frustrated from the questions and to the contrary was really animated/excited. I think he likes talking tech with people and teaching.


johnvaljean

For some time, he taught kids in a public school how to use computers, even though he already had enough money to live or enough reputation to have a big wage anywhere he wanted. The dude is just an amazing human being.


backtowhereibegan

Woz wanted to be in tech and got rich. Jobs wanted to get rich and went into tech.


SuperMack99

Complaining about the price of a pizza, not tipping, and driving away in your corvette. I work at a pizza place, so this might be a little specific.


Tarzan_OIC

Selling flights to outer space for 28 million while reviewing 10 billion in government bailout and having a net worth of 193 billion yourself.


CalmingVisionary

Treating regular folks with little to no regard, particularly those in the service industry.


Proud-Elephant99

People in million dollar mansions with pools and outdoor space, who, during the lockdown part of the pandemic, pretended to have it just as bad as everyone else.


Impossible-Art-3364

Yes! Or the people living in giant houses with massive gardens saying "I really don't understand why everyone is complaining so much about lockdown, just enjoy the slower pace of life". Meanwhile the people nextdoor are living in tiny apartments with no outside space working from the end of their bed.


Pikachu_91

When I told someone how sad I was that there was nothing to do during the summer holidays: "Come on, just have a holiday in your own garden, such fun". I don't have a garden Karen, I have a balcony that's just big enough for my trashcans.


caleb-crawdad

Celebrities: We're all in this together <3 Also celebrities: I'm just taking a bunch of friends on my private jet to a private island to party.


[deleted]

"We're all in this together" as their personal chef prepares them breakfast and their army of maids, gardeners and pool cleaners rush about the grounds of their palatial estate.


Shorzey

Elen Degeneres in a 30,000 square foot mansion; >IM ONE OF YOU SEE, IM CRYING THIS IS SO STRESSFUL HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE THESE CONDITIONS


Snoo79382

Hard to have sympathy for someone who doesn't respect their own employees and tries everything she can to make people feel bad for her. She's Disingenuous.


youcanupvote

Throwing rubbish out of the sports car window