[serious] What is something you wish you did when you were younger, to improve your quality of life when you got older?
By - Bobsquarepants9050
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I wish I had spent more time in my twenties building myself, rather than drinking the nights away. I didn't realize the foundation I was building and now feel like I'm a decade behind.
Similarly, I wish (being 23 atm) that I was more social/outgoing and actually went drinking. Not every night, but having at least gone at least a few times would be nice.
As with all things in life: balance. Don't be like me who has never been to a night club/bar/etc...
You're really not missing much. I don't mean to sound boring but I've always found clubbing and getting over the top drunk to be the most overrated, boring activity of all time. Give me a night in with no hangover the next day anytime.
I think it all boils down to your friends. I'm 25 and never been a huge fan of bars or clubs but the second I'm out drinking with my closest friends we have a ball. Although, I have always been a fan of get togethers at houses or whatever. No crowd, only your friends and drinks are waaay cheaper in a handle lol I'm more of a weed man myself anymore really though.
That’s what I tell my buddy who likes to drink. I’ll have a few beers every now and again but going to bars to drink and watch people drool over the hottest girl in the bar does not sound like very fun night. It’s cool every now and then but making a habit of it is expensive and dangerous
Learned a better study strategy and never stopped playing sports. I would have had less problems in college and a better phisique/health.
This times everything I’ve got and ever had.
I just posted elsewhere recently that I squandered what natural talent I have. Academically, athletically, artistically, musically, and socially I just coasted and coasted and gave less than zero effort because more often than not that was enough or close to enough to do well or just about get by. I have excuses I could tell but they would be rationalizations.
I wasted the first half of my life through laziness and misanthropy and melancholy.
So I’m going to graduate very soon, and I’ve been coming to terms with my study habits and how I don’t really put any effort into my academic life. right now, my natural talent is the one helping me be an incredible academic student and I see myself going down a lazy path. This was definitely a fucking wake up call.
Yeah I'm in my final year of college, and I've been solely relying on natural talent thus far. If I could go back and actually develop healthy habits in childhood... I totally would. Walking down a lazy path kinda rams you into a fluctuating depression
That's the conclusion I came to as an adult. I was always able to eke out so much reward from not doing anything as a child and teen that I learned laziness essentially as a habit. I remember at one point saying this when I was about 12 to a teacher, and telling them essentially that I didn't even know how to be a student because it was never really necessary. Outside of a once every couple of years uncomfortable talking to from my parents there were zero repercussions and certainly zero follow through on their part. It is akin to learned helplessness I think.
Learning healthy productive habits is key.
The same happened to me, I was a "gifted child" that needed to put 0 effort to do well in almost everything. Too bad that's the perfect recipe to create a really fucked up adult.
Ehi people, if you're kids are good at everything, they probably aren't learning how to discipline themselves, so work on that with them.
Something that is an interesting situation is if you are gifted but also have a disability in some way. Like being really smart, but you're Autistic or you have ADHD. In that case it can be very strange because while you avoid simply cruising through things and lack of productivity from the ease, you end up having the situation in which you know, intellectually, that you're smart, but often have a hard time showing it. Other times, it can be difficult to show that you have difficulties because people know that you are smart and thus assume that you don't have any issues or it's just you being lazy, and you don't know how to say that you do have real difficulties without arguing for your limitations.So that's a new thing that I learned to summarize just now: When you're both gifted and have a learning disability, it's difficult to show that you have your strengths when facing obstacles, and it's difficult to demonstrate your need for help without arguing for your limitations. Like with ADHD, organizing and planning is very difficult, and if you put a child with ADHD into a situation regarding organization and time management that would be difficult for a neurotypical child, the child with ADHD is going to really struggle and have to put in twice the effort of a neurotypical kid, even if the other kid is not gifted.So you feel both like you're not using your potential, and that you're stupid because kids who aren't gifted are doing better than you.
THIS. I was a gifted child with undiagnosed ADHD. I was exhausted all the time. So much anxiety and depression.
Similar. It also made me want to not participate in things. Partly because they were often too easy, but conversely if they took any sort of effort I was, to be honest, afraid of that thing and negative about it.
Don’t hate yourself for lost potential. You made the choices you did for reasons that made sense at the time, right? Regret can’t help, so don’t.
If it makes you feel better this is OK and you can totally change. I used to be similar, school/college never too hard for me coasting at C/B- level, never had to worry too much about money since I lived in the middle of nowhere and the easy pizza delivery job could afford a mortgage if I wanted. I was "happy" but at a deep level not really. My peers were definitely hitting higher than me.
Did a dramatic cross country move, got put in situations that actually put a fire under my ass, doing stuff in the "real world" and now I actually have work ethic/drive that I never did before, and living a life I never thought I'd live. Sure, I'm now the age where some of my peers are senior level hot shots making serious bank and having a big retirement savings already while I do not. But that's ok! It really, really isn't a race. And turns out a lot of my "hot shot" friends like me who I am as I am now. It's funny how things like perceived status begin to just not matter the older you get with right people.
Study habits are good to have from a discipline point of view but they're not used much outside of education and there's many different ways to build a sense of progress/discipline in your life that have nothing to do with education. Your life isnt written in stone at any point and everyone has the capability to surprising amounts of change. It's just hard to know what that means until you're forced to be out of your comfort zone and actually living in a different situation.
I agree with the playing sports part. I stopped in my 20s and I find it difficult to motivate myself to do any kind of exercise
This but without ever having played an organized sports. People are always like “Oh it’s easy to join a casual social league,” but not by yourself when you’re out of shape and not skilled at the sport. My experiences with “social leagues” is that they’re dominated by insanely cliquey, competitive 20-somethings.
Yeah exactly, how are you supposed to play a game for an hour when you haven't done anything in 10 years? Can't probably play for more than 5 min without dying lol
Haven't tried the leagues cause it also seems super expensive and fairly short. Where I'm from, the club system is way better and cheaper. Now that I'm in North America, it's very different
Yes, it's really hard. Now I just try every now and then, but I never succed on sticking on a routine for a long time. I never last more than a month
Learn to play the piano
I’m 44. I started learning, virtually, with a teacher I found when he posted on Reddit.
It’s only been 6 months but I can read music and actually play a few songs.
Do it. Do it now. And if you want my piano teachers info DM.
I remember my parents put in in piano lessons when I was really young and I was actually decent at it. But my teacher so was mean that i whined to my parents until they let me quit. I tried a few years ago to learn piano and it was absolutely impossible as an adult.
I have a beginner student in his 80s. He just learned Largo by Dvorak! It's never too late!
It’s NEVER too late to learn an instrument, get after it!
Stayed out of the sun or used sunscreen. These carcinoma removals are not fun!
Yes! I'm 37 and had one carved out of my face last year. I'm almost positive another one is popping up on my other cheek. I don't mind the first scar between my cheek and nose, but really don't want to be scarface! Better out than in though.
Stretch and daily exercise even as simple as a walk for 20 minutes and some push-ups and sit ups at home.
Good posture. Bad posture can fuck up your back, neck, ears, jaw, eyes and probably a lot more. Sit straight!
Don't spend your adolescence laying in your bed on a laptop like I did! At least sit up straight at a desk in a chair if you're going to spend the first 18 years of your life online
Definitely not reading this while lying in bed with my laptop on my chest, absolutely not. No, Sirree.
Yeah I really should do that
me at 28.....
A habit of basic strength training will also do wonders for this! You don’t have to become an Olympic powerlifter or anything, but a simple resistance training routine (weights, bodyweight, bands) can strengthen your entire body to counteract the back-destroying effects of a typical 9-5 job.
I would go so far to say that this is the only thing that really matters. Doing proper back/chest/core strength exercises will teach you what good posture feels like and why it's important (you'll notice more power and less pain with correct form), plus you'll build the muscle you need to preserve it when not exercising. Just trying to sit straight or pull your shoulders back isn't going to do much, and newer evidence shows that you're better off changing positions frequently rather than trying to preserve a single "good" position at a desk as conventional ergonomic advice always suggested.
I have been working on improving my posture for a solid 5 plus years now. Though I have made great progress, it has been a rough road that includes a recurring knot under my right shoulder blade that definitely can cause migraines, ear popping, and other weird issues. Finding the right workouts to balance out the very tight muscles that want to revert back to the way they grew has been an ongoing process with a mix of trail running, indoor bouldering, various types of yoga, and functional mobility training. I’m 33 and finally think I may have hope to have corrected my posture enough with my mild scoliosis to not have a hunch back in my old age.
I have the same problem relating to me playing the violin too much (thanks for the asymetrical posture you need for that). What helped me the most is swimming! I discovered it since it was recommended for another health issue and it is amazing how much it made a difference for me in the couple of months I've been doing it. If you work with a professional, that might be something to talk about with them! But, of course, always trust a professional's opinion over a redditor opinion, I don't have any training in that field except for my own journey to recover balance in my body.
I can relate
Can you elaborate please?
Posture is defined by walking with your back straight, chest out and ears level with your shoulders. While sitting down, put your ass so far back on the chair that your butt touches the seat. All this does is ensures that your spine is straight even though it’s never straight since the spine curves into an almost “s” like shape.
I have been dealing with sciatic nerve issues and the doctor gave me muscle relaxants and nerve pain suppressors and so far nothing is hurting. Until I stop the meds or run out of them that is. One of the main things he told me was work on your posture and see a physio. Posture affects so many things in our body it’s insane. So remember- always standing straight and sitting the right way is the best way to go about it. Don’t hunch your shoulders and avoid looking downwards to your phone instead hold it up high enough.
Don't sit in bad chairs for long times. Such as sitting on a couch with a laptop on the coffee table, that causes you to lean forward. Sitting with bends in your spine is bad, sit up straight. If you are bent, Your spine will push it's little gaskets(pads between the spine bones) into your spinal cord and cause horrible pain for the rest of your life.
I did it at age 24 (sat bent over for days), and the pain never goes away, never. I cant sit in cars or other chairs for any amount of time before it hurts.
I wish I enjoyed life more and didn't sit and dwell on people not liking me and getting bullied. I wish I would have had the look on life I do now. I wish I would have enjoyed life more, enjoyed all the good I had. .Enjoy the happy family and beautiful place I lived in. I wish I could have told little me to look past some of the stuff and be thankful for what I had. Because some day I would lose it
SAME. I’m so depressed because I lost my beautiful Apartment of three years… I just started going crazy and couldn’t pay rent but in retrospect I should’ve just stuck it out. Now I’m living in a trailer in my beautiful for furniture is in storage. It was perfect for that beautiful little apartment I had.
Sadly I think a lot if the time just hearing how you should feel doesn't make you feel like that. A lot of the time you need to go through a experience to feel and truly understand. I lived on the big island in a beautiful house in a pretty town. And a happy family. And slowly I lost all of it. But I have a different look on life and a handsome loving boyfriend now. And it has gotten better it just took a while. It just takes a lot of positive thinking and working towards what you want even if it feels like you are going backwards.
Gone to therapy.
I wish that I was able to advocate for myself at a younger age. Baby feuerfay would have had a better time with her therapist if she was able to vocalize better.
Exactly. I think mental health has become less stigmatized over the years. Also, if you're coming from a toxic household, those aren't usually the parents who would suggest therapy or be supportive of helping the kid get therapy.
For sure, I was lucky enough to have parents that helped me get therapy but I was unreceptive and thought that I was just a lunatic. Being 10 and being forced to go see someone that you don't like and feels like they aren't helping makes you feel awful.
I've had that experience too. So many of the things I avoided for years or felt bad thinking about were easily fixed in a few sessions. And the insight from the therapist about why people around me might've acted in certain ways I didn't understand, or why I acted in certain ways I didn't understand was so invaluable. It brought context to a lot of areas of my life that allowed me to not feel as bad about my actions and those of people around me. I also think I could've started earlier, but I wasn't ready then. I was ready now, and it was incredibly worth it.
Learn how to socialize more I'm so awkward I can't keep friends .
Thank you all for ur suggestions and advice really am thankful !
Best way to socialize is to not think much, just talk about people and how you feel. Be willing to abandon topics and change subject often in response to what others are talking about.
Introverts sometimes have trouble making friends and feel awkward because they overthink every point, try to come up with the best thing to say, and then never end up saying anything. Also they tend to hyperfocus on one topic even though everyone has already moved on to talking about something else.
I say this as a formerly awkward person myself. The less I thought about it, the more successful I was. (Surprisingly)
I once met a boyfriend's friend and other than saying hello, I didn't say a word to him. I just froze and didn't know what to even say while they were talking. He made a comment about my awkward silence when he left. Sometimes I just don't know how to contribute to conversation and it makes me look and feel so out of place.
I feel that. On my journey I had to "lower" myself to talking about mundane things I normally wasn't comfortable talking about. Like usually I enjoy talking about highbrow ideas but they fly over people's heads so much I never had anything to talk about. So then I tried talking about events on the news and then talking about other people, which I don't personally care for but it gets conversations going.
A good formula I follow is that I ask 3 questions for every 2 opinions I give. I know that sounds kind of strange but as the overanalytical type this formula helps me appear "normal" and ever since then I've been able to blend into society as a human. 😂
That's something I can get behind. I prefer to do things by reading instructions or seeing it on paper, so I will try this.
Thank you for your advice :)
I went to the same private school from K5-11th grade. I made one set of friends when I was like 6 and kept them until we had a falling out in Junior year of high school. I was always the odd one out anyway. They ended up being the "popular kids" and I was just kind of there by proxy due to hanging out with them for a decade, but I was no one's best friend, and definitely not considered popular myself.
After I fell out with them, I did dual enrollment at my local college, so I was a high schooler on a college campus. I wasn't allowed to live on campus though. I tried to make friends with classmates and nothing really stuck except one study partner I haven't spoken to since that semester.
When I actually went to college, I tried so hard to make friends and go out. I thought I got myself an "in" with a group when they invited me to a party... But I tried too hard, which I realize now, and I came off as super lame... They never replied to me after that. I tried student groups but still no one really seemed interested in getting to know me back. It was always me asking to hang out, and if I didn't contact them first after that, they'd never contact me back.
When I started working, I made ok friends with my coworkers at first, even going out to lunch with them, and then some drama started up (one girl told made up completely false rumors about me) and I was "out" after that and no one ever invited me to lunch for over six years.
None of this is to say I don't have friends. I have three friends plus my husband. But honestly one of those friendships was born of convenience (old roommate I didn't know before living with), one of complete luck and is perhaps my only "organic" friend (she replied to my reddit post about going to a museum with me, a rando), and one of association (husband's mutual friend).
I think having a pre-established friend group from K5-11 kind of messed up my ability to make friends. I honest to God don't know how to make and maintain them. Some people literally have dozens and dozens of friends (like my mom) and it's not even difficult for them and I have no idea how to do that. Every time I attempt to make a friend, I end up being the only person initiating everything from speaking to texting to inviting out and I have no clue what I'm doing wrong.
I honestly am OK with my small friend circle. I have come to accept that I have good quality friends and am happy, but I really sure would like the ability to make friends when needed, like at a new job. It also makes me insecure that maybe I'm insufferable or awkward or a bad person based on the fact that it's so difficult to make friends.
Just made me realize that if my friend group ever breaks up I'm kinda fucked
I lost my friend group for the most part. Go out and make other friends. Don't put your eggs in one basket.
As a fellow adult with no real friends and no understanding of how to make them, I feel you. I usually try to settle for being along for the ride when a more popular colleague offers to let me hang out, but it's damned isolating most of the time. And my self confidence will never be what it should, since I'm painfully aware that I'm nobody's first choice for, well, anything not strictly work-related.
So fwiw, you're not the only one like that. And it sounds like you're doing quite well despite it! :-)
Thank you for your reply . I feel the same way with the Everytime I attempt to make a friend part .
Quality not quantity
This was my experience too! I had the same core group of friends from grades 8-12. I made new friends in between but there was no pressure to make them because I had my main group to fall back on so I wasn't stressed about it.
Went to college and realized I had absolutely no clue how to make friends without being introduced first. My life basically fell apart. I lost all my self confidence and became deeply depressed for about two years while I relearned the skill. On the plus side I am much more confident nowadays in social interactions and make friends fairly easily.
i change my school every year because of my dads job thats probably why i am socially awkward
That can be very hard. Myself homeschooled .
I can feel your pain, going through the same. Sort of given up on making actual friends, just have acquaintances and accepted this lonely state of mine.
I wish i never got off my diet
Not to be that guy but don’t think of eating healthy as dieting. It implies a short timeline and sacrificing your favorite foods. Recently I’ve been eating less each meal. For example, half of a hamburger instead of the entire thing.
How you eat = your diet.
Taken care of my skin. Sunscreen, washing my face, etc. It’s so simple to do and not doing it has definitely impacted me negatively as an adult.
I am the middle of three sisters. I am the only one that has pale sensitive skin. When I was younger I had to were sunscreen, t-shirts, and shorts when we went to the lake, beach, or
any pool. My parents would make me take breaks from the sun. I had to sit by myself and watch every one play for thirty minutes after every hour in the sun. When I get too much sun, I feel sick. It feels like I have the flu. I get blisters.
Both of my sisters would use tanning beds. I was so jealous. Now, I look like the younger sister. I get compliments on how young I look. No one can believe I am as old as I am. My eldest sister looks sixty and my youngest fifty. Most often I am told I look early thirties. I have had a woman at a local business ask if my daughter and I were sisters. She wasn’t sure if I was a teenage mom or not. Rude, but also the best compliment so far.
Wear sunscreen, drink plenty of water, and moisturize.
I'm also hella pale, hate the sun/being outside in brightness because of my sensitive eyes and skin, and I'm a skincare junkie. I realized the value of that obsession when someone mistook my mom for my grandma, GUESS I ACTUALLY DIDN'T NEED TO GO OUTSIDE AND GET SOME SUN DAD!
I don’t understand how people can go outside without sunglasses on a sunny day.
Anyone seeing this comment needs to get something straight into their head! Don’t be scared but be mindful. Skin cancer is a bitch and I possibly have it due to me excessively forgetting to routinely put on sunscreen.
This is no laughing matter! I don’t care if you’re a god damn primary color, you better take care of your skin!
Took better care of my teeth. I was raised by nice, loving parents, but proper dental care was one thing they failed to teach me. At 48 my teeth are mostly fucked up.
Recently had to get a tooth pulled because my mum never bothered to get me a new filling since the last one came out.
I had that cavity since I was 9, now I’m 18 and got it most of it pulled last month (Couldn’t get the root out, currently trying to book oral surgery)
I also have wisdom teeth and some small cavities that need sorting out now, holy fuck I wish I cared more back then.
I actually have a broken tooth right now, but am waiting to receive my second dose of the vaccine before going to the dentist.
I have like eight broken teeth and can’t get an appointment it’s rough up here in Canadia
Nice one, good luck on your second dose 👍🏻
Same here. Mouth full of fillings by my twenties. And now some of those filled teeth have broken off and had to be replaced by crowns - at a thousand bucks a pop.
$1000? Wow. Here in Canada it’s almost $2500 to $4000 a single fucking crown lol
Looked after my credit. I didn’t have bad credit, exactly, but I grew up in a household that lived by the rule of “if you can’t pay for it, don’t buy it.” Found out later in life that no credit is worse than bad credit - which is still kind of absurd to me.
Same! My parents told me to never get a credit card. Fast forward to when I was 25 and I couldn’t get a cell phone plan, rent a car, stay in a hotel, or get better car insurance. I had to go get a secured card, and slowly start building credit.
Now five years later I have good credit, and it’s kind of amazing how much easier certain things are.
I love my parents but yeah, really stupid fucking advice there.
Yeah, my dad was and is fairly obsessive about the no credit cards ever lifestyle, and while most of his financial advice to me has been good, this is one thing that I'm outrageously glad that I didn't listen to him on.
For some reason, Dave Ramsay, someone who gives otherwise sound (imo) financial advise babbles the same BS about how people shouldn't be having/getting credit...... Like how does he expect people to ever do anything, including buy a house, without a credit history?
Oh funny, my parents love Dave Ramsay so maybe that’s where they got that advice. Ironically, they follow absolutely none of the rest of his financial advice, except the credit one. It’s really a problem.
I think perhaps the reason he spews that is because most of his target audience are in debt or have issues with debt.....thus I suppose his thinking could be that these people have no self control, thus aren't going to ever change that lack of self control, thus shouldn't be getting credit cards etc,,because they fuck themselves over in the long run... ...... but either he knows some secrets to living without a credit history/decent credit that I'm not aware of.....or he's delusional about the fact that most people can't do things like buy or rent a house, and a shit load of other stuff, if they're not already wealthy and don't have credit history. Guess it's easy for him to say "oh, you don't need to worry about having credit or trying to get a better credit score"....when he himself can buy practically anything with cash.
Yo it's a priveledged thing. My parents weren't rich, but they did their research. Took out credit cards in me and my brother's names for us to use for food, badda bing badda boom I have amazing credit despite it being entirely thanks to my mom.
As a non-American, this always baffles me. Here they just look at your income to determine whether you are eligible for a loan. Much simpler, but I guess it makes it more difficult to trap people in debt. \*shrugs\*
I’ve managed to dodge most of that debt, thankfully. The military has plenty of issues, but hell if the GI Bill wasn’t one of the best ways for somebody to move up in the world.
Actually it makes perfect sense. Would you loan a large amount of money to a person who has never borrowed anything... i wouldn't
Avoid binge drinking.... Irreparable damage done....
By all means explore and stuff... Just there is nothing good or cool about binge drinking. Looking back I can't remember most of it and I can remember a lot of things I wished never happened. Find a better scene to express yourself that won't crush quality of life in adult years.
Definition of Binge Drinking from CDC.
Binge drinking is defined as a pattern of alcohol consumption that brings the blood alcohol concentration (BAC) level to 0.08% or more. This pattern of drinking usually corresponds to 5 or more drinks on a single occasion for men or 4 or more drinks on a single occasion for women, generally within about 2 hours.
I feel like a few people responding are doing so in order to determine just how much of their drinking is similar to what causes you issues.
Folks, if you are concerned you may be drinking too much, you're likely drinking too much. It's better to stop now and not tomorrow.
Can't stop now? Then yes, you have a serious alcohol problem. Go to your doctor and let them know you need help.
How was your quality of life affected?
Ulcerative Colitis and Acid Reflux - Together they really affect what I can eat and general quality of life.
Mind if I ask what happened and how often you drank?
I drank a ton and fought people, broke shit, jumped off of houses, lots of vomiting, screamed at friends, hurt those who tried to help me, many things I don't want to get into because I am ashamed... Lol, some funny stuff too tbh.
Being slightly more financially intelligent.
Brushed my teeth/kept dental health. In my defense I was a child (under 13) and my parents did not enforce it near to the extent they should have. Scare tactics don't work on a 7 year old who has no concept of "future"
I wish I said no to the GP who started me on strong opioid medication at age 19. 11 years later and I'm almost free of it after a rollercoaster ride of polypharmacy.
I wish I started saving money and actually kept at it instead of transferring funds out of savings "just this once". My parents had even set a saving account up for me and I successfully drained it buying CSGO skins (yes seriously), which I promptly lost on CSGO Skin gambling sites because that was very popular at that time.
Never too late to start saving again. I also got into the csgo skin hype and gambling. I now have my company deposit a % of my pay directly into an rrsp so I don’t even see it - much easier to save.
Took a couple more chances with girls. I was shy, and my parents made me feel like I was always just a bother to everyone so I never wanted to try. Missed a ton of opportunities to be close to someone and, as the story often goes, I just let the pitch fly by.
I'd rather err on the side of being respectful and not making a girl feel pressured, so I don't regret that part, but I backed away from a bunch of girls who I later found out were actually interested because I just hated myself.
Taken my education seriously. I am naturally intelligent and I just coasted. Because I took it as a joke and still got good grades I never applied myself. I was really lost going to college because one, I never focused on the future and two, I thought coasting would be just as easy going forward. Spoiler: it was not.
Learn more about personal finance.
Even something as small as just learning to save a little bit of each paycheck. Set that little chunk aside for a "rainy day" would have helped me a lot more through all those random emergencies that come with growing up.
So true, small things go a long way!
In retrospect, this was some of the best advice I got coming out of college—every time you get a raise or a new job with more pay, automatically save at least half of the difference between your old pay and your new pay.
No matter how small, no matter how much you think you need the extra money. You were making it work on your old salary, you can keep making it work with the same amount of money, and your future self will thank you.
So if you get a 2% raise that adds up to $50 more per paycheck, set your bank up to automatically transfer another $25 per paycheck into savings or investments. Even better, for every 2% raise, increase your 401k contribution by 1%, since those are before taxes and you’ll wind up saving more.
It’ll feel like drops in a bucket when you look at your accounts in your early 20s, especially when you’re drowning in other expenses, but get in the habit and you’ll be *really* happy you did by your mid-30s.
This was great advice for me a long time ago. I remember bracing for the financial pain when I put some of my raise into a 401k. Within 6 months, I’d raised my percentage to the maximum of my employer’s matching funds.
I imagine circumstances are different now because (at least in the US) traditional employment is in decline. But, find a way. Raising your rate? Decide what percent goes into long-term savings or SEP-IRA. Don’t touch it.
I’ve had mostly good luck with doing my own trading, but have also kept a percentage (20%?) in traditional instruments, like mutual funds. They suck at returns when compared to high-flying stocks, but are slow and steady and disappointing and dull. Just live with it.
Can anyone tell how to begin with that.?
There are personal finance subreddits
A tiny amount regularly invested into a pension when you're young can have a big effect on your standard of living once you hit retirement age. Wish I'd been far more proactive with that stuff.
Wish they taught these at all schools! Some things are realized only when too late.
Drawing, i had so much freetine in my childhood and so much paper. I could have been way better at drawing
(Sorry for my grammer)
I stopped drawing after high school because I didn't have the time. I started again 10 years later. It took a while to develop a style, and relearn things I'd forgotten, but I kept at it. Since then I've illustrated 3 books, lots of cartoons and had a lot of fun. It's never to late to start doing something you enjoy.
Live alone. I went from living at home, to having roommates, to getting married. So now I have anxiety being alone overnight, and I lack a lot of knowledge on basic things (getting a car title, buying a house, etc.) because there has always been someone else who dealt with it...
I married my highschool sweetheart so I totally relate to this. I had to spend about a month alone when we were moving to a new town and it was really scary but I think having a big dog makes me feel a lot more secure being alone.
Understand how credit works and how important it is when you want something in life like a house or a car.
Made certain investments and bought my home gym equipment a lot sooner than I did.
"certain investments" is a bit of a time-travel type hindsight though. It's not something anyone can really learn from. I'm not hating, just feeling it's a bit "meh"
Chose rich parents.
Seriously though, learn multiple languages.
kept my fucking mouth shut.
Study more in school. Like everything. Math, science, history. To redo it when I was young with no responsibilities would of helped me in life so much.
I wished I could've taken hold of my binge eating disorder, learned how to calorie count and actually *cook* healthy affordable meals. Didn't learn how to cook for myself until I was 20 and obese.
Protect my hearing
Put back money to fund my retirement.
Honed a skilled instead of just being pretty good at something. Going to school to learn and perfect a trade.
I wish I had put more effort into learning a second language.
As Puerto Rican who can't speak Spanish, I say THIS.
I really, really wish I would have eaten a healthy diet and stuck with it. I've put on so much weight in the past ten years from just eating fast food / trash on a near daily basis out of laziness / convenience.
I wish I'd have tried stand up comedy earlier. It was something I always wanted to do growing up and I tried it for the first time three years ago, aged 34. A lot of what I did was based around family life though, so I may not have had anything to make jokes about as a 19 year old.
I wish I started investing in a 401k or roth ira at age 16.
I was 17 and just got out of HS, and want to live with my brother who was 8 years older to go to college. At the time a state company was hiring, and I could apply to it (I have some study on the area the company was hiring), I just needed to study and get a good grade on a test.
Long story short, my dumbass just played games and enjoyed my live living basically alone as a 18 yo. If I got that job, I would be getting more or less 1800 per month, and some other things like food and bus tickets, working in a comfortable and stable place. Fuck me
Cold sores are not a false positive. They are a variant of HSV and can equally effect your mouth and genitals. 80% of people end up getting exposed to them regardless of how safe you are. It really is just a waiting game of when you’ll get it or be exposed.
Took better care of my teeth. I am now paying for it, figuratively and literally, in my 40s.
I fucking hate the way my teeth look; and I now have several teeth missing and multiple gaps in both rows of my teeth, because I had to get several of them extracted, instead of worked on and fixed, because I couldn't afford the work needed to save my bad teeth.
It's deeply humiliating and painful, and I have genuine regret, over not brushing my teeth more frequently and for not fighting the urge to eat junk food and sweets.
Also, somewhat related, I wish that I would have worked more hours, gambled much less, and saved some motherfucking money, so that I wouldn't have to worry about money so much.
I wish I didn't start smoking so young, and I would've taken my mental health struggles and education more seriously but alas depression can be a very controlling bitch
Learning to save/invest, no matter how little you can spare that check.
I wish I had been more outgoing. From elementary to the end of high school I was an absolute wallflower, so it was really hard to learn how to interact with people without being afraid of what they think/what I’m doing.
I’ve gotten better now, And I’ve learned how to relax around people, but I still prefer being with small groups. I still wish I had learned how to do it when I was younger, it would’ve made life a lot easier as a young adult
I wish I had taken the time to live a more considered life, practice mindfulness and meditation and the like. I wasted decades being constantly restless, even when I was doing something I enjoyed part of me was already wishing I was doing the next thing. Living life like that is exhausting and, in my case, resulted in overindulgence with substances and many, many dumb impulsive decisions that caused unnecessary heartache.
Live my life as if I was going to commit suicide around 30. I didn't live it up, or do drugs or anything like that. I just kind of lived life inertly. Never developing myself much, and just not demanding mental health help at a young age.
Especially because I am now just a hair older than I ever thought I would get. I have a college degree in something I ended up realizing too late was just not for me. Now I have the options of: Go back to school for something new, languish in retail hell forever, or somehow lie/charm my way into a position that I have no business being in.
Go back to school. I languished in retail hell for ten years.
Surround myself with more autistic friends.
I was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and Dyspraxia (both common for autistic people but not necessarily a one to one relationship) at 19 months, but was mainstreamed at 8. Basically my whole childhood was spent surrounded by neurotypicals, and more specifically NTs who made sure to tell me explicitly or implicitly that I would always be less than. I spent so long thinking that if I worked hard enough I could finally reach the “gold standard” that is neurotypicality despite consistently being shown that that wasn’t the case when I would work ten times harder than them, could achieve higher success levels than them (for example academically), but have my success cheapened by the presence of my disability. I denied every aspect of my disabled self not Bc of how I personally felt about it, but Bc I was told that was how I should feel about it.
When I was in pain and in tears from being overstimulated in class, I would dig my nails into my thighs, hands, shoulders, scratch my stomach, etc not Bc it helped, but Bc it prevented me from crying out in pain Bc that would have “disturbed the class” and Fod forbid I hurt the poor victim NTs. It would have been much easier if I could just get up and walk out for five minutes to calm down but that would have just reaffirmed people’s beliefs that I was less than and I would be punished for leaving class.
I was constantly exhausted and overstimulated but I still had to not only compete on the same level than them, but I had to be better Bc my disability would always cheapen any success I had. Taking any small accommodation was always used against me. But I always had to suffer in silence Bc “omg stop talking about it” or “omg stop crying, it’s not that big of a deal”. These were the people I was surrounded by all the time, my so called “friends”.
I look back on so many of the things I let people say or do to me and realize how much I repressed it all. I was such an angry and depressed person Bc nothing I did was ever good enough for them, but for some reason I was expected to keep doing it. It couldn’t just be that I was disabled, it had to be “look how far I’ve come from being disabled”. Never mind the fact that SPD sticks with you for life and so I was still heavily affected by my disability at that moment. I had to be the shining example of disability, namely that people shouldn’t be expected to accommodate me, it had to be the other way around. ALL. THE. TIME.
I am vocal, and so my primary form of communication is vocal. However, it is really telling when I related more to my non-vocal autistic special needs buddy that I saw for 1-2 hours per week than I did to the vocal neurotypicals I was in high school classes and extracurriculars with (30-40 hrs). That was when I started suspecting I was actually fully autistic and didn’t just have SPD and dyspraxia. But I couldn’t even take pride in that Bc I had been so conditioned to the bs that I felt so much shame and hid this from people for several years.
It wasn’t until I started talking with people on autistic and spd related subreddits that I could finally start to reevaluate everything and finally see being autistic as something I could be proud of, so much so that I’m currently seeking a diagnosis.
If I had had that earlier, I feel like I would have better stood up for myself and not let so many of the abusive people in my life take advantage of me. I would have called out their ableist bs and told them to fuck off. I wouldn’t be filled with so much shame for **not** having called them out and the knowledge that Bc I didn’t they will likely do the same things to disabled people in the future.
go to a better therapist. keep going to dance classes. start working earlier so I could leave my toxic house.
Listen to my parent and read some books, would make it easier for me in school to learn understand and my vocabulary would be bigger
Learned to play an instrument
Got into the habit of exercising regularly.
I'm still young but mildly recently my grandmother died from my moms side I hadn't spent too much time with her while she was alive and even thought she was kinda weird because she was on kemo and had no hair. i honestly wish i spent more time with her and stuff.
Healthy eating habit. Back in my twenties when I had a faster metabolism, I took it for granted that I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain weight.
Being able to say exactly what I mean and set boundaries that I'm actually comfortable with. I wish I could tell my parents how much I want to leave them as soon as possible, but it just seems easier to just wait until it happens instead of telling them and preparing them for the future that I want without them in it.
Lost ny virginity
Take care of your hands and joints .... avoid dangerous sports etc
Eat cleaner and exercise more. I probably wouldn't be anywhere near as much of a wreck as I am now.
Investing some of the money I was earning from the start. Could have made a big difference in how I live today.
Came out sooner. Man I wish I had known my parents were such dicks early on
Gone with my dad in the divorce 😞
I wish I had learned to enjoy exercise. I wish it had been a regular part of growing up. We ran around the neighborhood like street urchins until dark most days, so I got physical activity but, as I got older, that stopped and my parents were not ones to encourage us to do any kind of organized sports.
Just be done in community college instead of accumulating further debt.
Military service. Not sure how much it would've helped in the long run, but I imagine the discipline and structure training would help me be less me. Maybe I would actually get stuff done/improved instead of ignoring/not caring about it
Understand myself more
Wished I really convinced my parents to put me in a regular public school rather than a scientology school. Though I probably would not have been able to.
Long list in no particular order. Read more, exercise more, not smoke like ever, eat better, and learn financial stuff like budgeting, savings, and stocks. Most of all. I look back on the little things I stressed about that now I see weren't worth it. We need to stop worrying so much.
be a kid. stop trying to get older. i'm about to turn 15 soon, and i feel like a fully fledged adult with the amount of responsibilities i forced onto myself in my early preteens. for instance, working hard to join a gifted program. the amount of stress they put on gifted kids is unworldly. kids in my class would have casual conversations about what university program you were applying for, and would shame you if you didn't know by grade 5.
exposing myself to adult content - porn, graphic violence, all that jazz. i'm numb to it now. i feel like i don't have emotions anymore because i learned to supress them and normalize violence at such a young age.
Wish I got educated way earlier, I am 26 and about to start studying after summer.
Kept in shape. It’s been three years since I was serious about fitness, and getting “back into it” has been a chore. I know it’s never too late to start over, and I can get somewhere even better than where I was, but life happens.
I also wish I had started earlier. I didn’t start taking my health seriously until college, I spent all of Highschool unhappy and physically ill. I just didn’t have the drive. Once I did, and I felt so much better, I realized what I had been missing.
Ballet. Would have set me up with a certain amount of muscle strength and good posture.
1. Hardened my personality
Perception has big effect on you whether you realize it or not...and unless you rolled really lucky at birth, you're going to struggle. When I was young, I was an extremely idealistic kid...and as the years piled on...so did the disappointment and harsh consequences of reality.
Eventually I learned to accept it for what it is...the reality of life. It sucked, but once I got over putting too much stock into "How it should be"...I found it easier to move along by appreciating more the good things I had.
2. Stay in good Physical Condition
The condition of your body doesn't just affect how fast you can run a mile. It affects how well you can think. And the effects compound over time...so it's not unusual to see people that are dying off in their 50s...meanwhile finding someone else in their 60's that are still doing physical labor and are rockstars at it. Genetics have their effect, but generally taking care of yourself is going to pay heavy dividends at all stages, especially later life.
3. Learn not to put too much stock in the opinions of others
This is not to say that you should brush off people's opinions like a pest...but you should also not let them be a large determining factor in your decision making. Some folks are just shitheads, but overwhelmingly...people do carry decent intent behind their expressed opinions...but don't know the specifics of -your- situation..and thus can easily lead you astray without even really realizing it.
I wish I would have adopted an attitude of appreciation and gratitude towards my parents, instead of one of deference. I wish I would have voiced what I wanted and stood by what I thought I needed in my life more often. I love my parents, but if I was meeting them for the first time, there's no way I'd take advice from them.
Growing up, my folks worked hard to give my sister and I many opportunities they never dreamed of. Growing into an adult, it seemed ungrateful not to "respect" how they thought I should be handling the big things in my life. I enjoyed their financial support, so I felt obligated to dutifully follow their advice. Plus, they had more life experience and it would be foolish not to listen to that.
Looking back, I'm shocked at how freely they gave advice, usually sternly, on things they knew nothing about.
Outside of their fields they knew as much as the next person and they never grasped how much the world had changed since the 00's. On top of that, they never got to know me as an adult, so their guidance, while well-meaning, really only related back to when they knew me as a teenager.
Sometimes it feels like I allowed them to "buy" my life-- I wish I never sold.
I wish I had tried harder to make human connections instead of relishing solitude. I'm now 26, without any kind of relationship when that's all I crave.
Start reading early. I admit I am one of the top students in my class, and I have excelled in English and Writing. I owe of all it to reading. It helped me develop those skills and inspired me to write entire short stories (never published) by 1st Grade. Grab a book you enjoy and start reading now. You won’t regret it.
Worked like five jobs in high school and saved for college.
Granted, I did babysit and that family is some of my closest friends today. And I loved every extracurricular I did in high school, my schedule was jam packed, I didn’t not work a “real job” because I was lazy. But I wish during the summers my mom had made me go get one or something one day a week or ANYTHING. After seven years of living at home and throwing money at my loans, I’m finally moving out because I paid some off and saved some this past year. But still have $30k to go.
Join the military, i always wanted to join the marines but couldn't get in because i had half inch size plugs in each ear. My quality of life would have been so different.
I wish I went to uni when I was 18 rather than 40 like I did
I wish I didn’t start drinking as a teen.
Start a Roth IRA, by the time you're old and can't work of you started young and paid into it (even a couple hundred bucks a year) you'd have so much more success retiring
I wish my little brother was aborted. (For actual reasons I won't go into for personal reasons)
Young guy here just reading the comments
Tell my mom that I'm transgender the first time I figured things out as a kid, instead of hiding in the closet and letting puberty fuck me up
brush my fucking teeth
save/invest money to have a serious emergency fund. i have that now, but earlier in my career i didn't, and there were times i was stuck in a bad job where if i did i could have left. emergency funds aren't just for emergencies. sometimes you need to tell a boss to fuck off.
I wish I never started vaping or smoking cigarettes. At all. My grandmother passed away from very serious emphysema and COPD. Which was painful for her
I wish I'd trusted my own judgement more and been more decisive. I wish I'd never started smoking cigarettes.
I wish I’d been born to richer parents. My biggest regret
Good eating habits.
Also, if I could tell my younger self to use a wheely backpack, I wouldn't have screwed up shoulders and a bad neck now.
1. Stay out of debt
2. Stay healthy
3. Use 20's for adventure
Coming out early.
i wish i would have seeked help for my mental health issues earlier, like that shit has only ruined so many years for me...
Now life is hell and I just want to die all the time.
Saved more and didnt put up with shitty peoples crap.
Save my money and keep a journal.
I wish I spent more time actually understanding the marketability—or lack thereof—of my bachelors degree. I just have an expensive piece of paper, and I work alongside folks with no degree who get paid the same.