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about two years ago I looked up the word "loli" cause I didnt know what it was and google gave me a warning about how CP was illegal so yeah im probably on a list.


I would suggest typing "definition" after words you don't recognize, just to be safe


the same thing happened to me, I was scared shitless


Now I'm afraid to Google what it means


Its basically like a childlike female character


Someone had stolen my identity when I was a teenager, and was living under my name in Arizona. Around 3 am one morning, and I'm heading to work. I forgot what the reason was, but I got pulled over about a half mile from my work. Officer comes to the window, I give him my info and he heads to his car. In a span of two minutes, three more police vehicles pull up and block me in. Guns drawn, I'm told to get out of the vehicle. I'm scared shitless at this point, I'm 19, and this is my first traffic stop ever. I have my hands up and as soon as I step out I'm cuffed and the officers are high firing each other. Saying things like, "Surprised you didn't run. You're going away for the rest of your life." I was asking what the hell they were talking about, and said, "What are you arresting me for? What did I do?!" I am on the verge of tears, scared for my life not knowing whats happening. One of the officers finally comes over and tells the other three, "This isn't the guy. Just look at the mugshot." The man who stole my identity had been on the run for murder pf his girlfriend and attempted murder of an officer. When he ran my name and info, it popped up with a warrant for murder and he acted accordingly. Big apologies from every one around, and one of them escorted me to work to explain to my boss what happened. My boss let me go home that day.


My uncle crosses the US-Canada border a lot, and he told me about one time when he got taken for secondary screening, they made him get out of the car while they searched the whole thing, interrogated him, etc. One of the agents kept asking him, "Where are the guns? We know you have guns, so where are they?" My uncle certainly did not have any guns and kept telling them that, but they were very insistent. Eventually, after a few more checks, the agents realized they had the wrong guy. There just happened to be a wanted weapons smuggler with my uncle's exact name and birthday; however, the agents had overlooked the fact that the weapons smuggler was black, and my uncle is quite white.


When TurboTax was exciting and new to me, I used it to do my taxes (as was the custom of the time) and one of the questions it asked was 'What is your occupation?' So obviously I put in 'Assassin' temporarily so I could see if my girlfriend thought it was funny. She was wrong, btw, she didn't, and I was so firm in my disagreement with her obviously wrong interpretation that I neglected to change it back. So in 1998 or 1999, I'm on record with the IRS somewhere as being an Assassin. I paid my taxes, though, so they seem to be generally OK with me, but I wonder sometimes if that put me on a list somewhere.


If it's anything like new zealand, you are still legally required to pay taxes on illegal business deals, and they can't use your taxes as evidence to press charges iirc.


Yes, the US is like that too. That's how Al Capone got caught. They couldn't convict him for any of the murders, but they got him for tax evasion.


I used to prepare people's taxes. I'd get 2 or 3 a month that would be drug dealers or prostitutes that didn't want to get "caponed." Don't know how many just lied to me thought. Whatever, I'm not here to snitch on you, I'm here to make sure the IRS doesn't come knocking.


Wait, so legally you can report on your income illegal activities, and *not* get imprisoned? So if you do a good job, leave no evidence, and report the money, youre in the clear? Inb4 dont do illegal things lol


You just put it under "Income: Other" It was too vague of a box to be anything other than a field the IRS created specifically to allow people to pay their taxes on illegally gained income.


I have learned so much in this thread already, omg. (:




wait what are you gonna do with that info


pay his taxes


That seems fair to me. After all, they are conducting illegal business while using public services (roads, police, libraries, etc)


That Al Capone guy must have been a voracious reader.


Yeah they can’t use it as evidence, but I’m sure it’s enough grounds to launch an investigation on you.


Look as long as the IRS get paid they don’t much care how you make your money.


My absolute favorite thing back when I did my own taxes was the line on the 1040 asking you to declare any income from illegal activities. (Is it still on there?) I mean...I imagine Tony Soprano putting down his $150,000 job as a "waste management consultant," and then entering "$12 million" on the illegal income line, LOL.


It's no longer there. Now I have to declare my weed timing income as gambling wins.


Yes, I declare my weed timing income. The 2 peoples you dont fuck with are the mob and the IRS.


In high school, there was a kid who went to the vice principal’s office and told them he was being bullied by a lot of people at the school. So they had him write down a list of everyone and what they were doing, and based on the list the administration kind of realized this guy needed help. I think I was on the list because I typed too loudly on my calculator during math class, if I remember correctly. This was all kept very quiet and low key; we didn’t even know about it except every once in awhile this kid would just quietly get up and leave class (when he was feeling overwhelmed he went to go see the school therapist). Well long story short, I guess in one of these therapy sessions, it came out that one of the ways he coped was just that he imagined beating the shit out of these other kids on the list. Upon hearing this, the school decided it was best to send the guy to a 72 hour psych hold. Honestly, they should’ve just left it at that, kept it low key, and got the guy the help he needed…. Except, the school administration decided that what came out during therapy constituted as a “threat” to all of us. They pulled us all (like 40 of us) out of class one day, had us sit in an enclosed room with no windows under guard without telling us anything (we thought we were all in trouble), then called us each individually into the VP’s office and didn’t tell us what was going on until they called our parents in front of us, told our parents we were on a hit list from some student on campus, and then refused to offer any other information (because the kid was a minor and it was an ongoing investigation), and then sent us back to class. Of course, one student’s mother called the local newspaper and word got out that there was a student with a kill list at our high school…. We didn’t find out the actual details for about two weeks, but kept repeatedly being called out of class to meet with school administration and therapists to see “if we were okay”. All we wanted was information that they couldn’t give us. Of course we all found out who the guy was, his life was ruined. I see him every once in awhile at the local gas station and I always wonder what’s going through his head. I hope he knows nobody hates him, there’s not even anger toward him. We all feel bad for him. There was definitely a way to handle the situation well and our school did basically the opposite; ruined a seventeen year old kid’s life.


Was this back in the 90’s/early 2000’s? I remember after Columbine schools got incredibly stupid and incredibly paranoid about dealing with any kids who were bullied and resented it, and it was compounded by the fact that due to columbine people would start rumors about outcasts and bullied kids having a hit list. This being 20 years ago, they weren’t exactly sensitive to mental health issues either unless you had something major and obvious. Fuck, I hated school.


I was in high school when Columbine happened. All I remember my school doing was banning trench coats. Even at the time we were all like, what? Really?


Trench coats don’t kill people, people do!


This was mid-teens, actually. Our school *tried* to be progressive with mental health programs, including a yellow ribbon program and a couple of other things, but this particular instance was one place where they fumbled big time


All these decades later, it came out that the Columbine shooters were more the bullies than the bullied. Jesus.


My sister had this friend in highschool, he was in his freshman year (openly gay) & he was the sweetest kid you’d ever meet. We lived in a small rural town going to one of those schools where if your parents had a name, you were one of the popular kids. Long story short this kid had been bullied viciously, beaten up & kicked around. He went to the principal & guidance counselor who refused to do literally ANYTHING, they even mocked him. One of the kids who bullied him was actually the grandson of the guidance counselor, the kid ended up hanging himself & after he died they made it seem like they actually gave a shit. The town did nothing, it makes me happy I don’t live there anymore. These people were literally monsters.


My uncle went to middle school in the south, and he said that there was a gay kid who other kids would mercilessly bully. He said that one day the gay kid came to school with a gun, but a teacher was able to get it away from him before he shot anyone. He said the gay kid was sent to a school for kids with emotional problems, but I don't know if that's code for some kind of juvenile detention facility. I genuinely feel bad for the gay kid, and I wish I knew his name so I wouldn't have to refer to him as "the gay kid."


Your high school staff are assholes


Honestly, once anyone lands on a therapists couch, the potential for anything that is said turning into some sort of grossly-distorted hyperdrama goes through the roof. I mean, even putting the kid in a hold simply because he said he coped by thinking about something is ridiculous. Civil Commitments are MEANT to only be used in cases where there is a good amount of evidence and concern that something reasonably bad will happen as a consequence of a mental illness. They get used by lazy admins and mental health staff to sweep problem patients out the door way too often, precisely because they are not held accountable for it. They really need to start penalizing the misuse of those laws.


That’s awful… i didn’t expect to pity him but by the end…


I don't mean to make light of what happened at your high school, but it sometimes feels like high schools and bungling psychiatric help go hand in hand.


I worked at a restaurant as an undergrad, and the owners were doing illegal shit (scam marriages for citizenship). Shortly after I quit, immigrations/homeland security contacted me to let me know some of the people and the owners I worked with were in jail and facing trial, and that I was also investigated during the process but I was in the clear. I had the most routine life at the time I was investigated - drag my ass to school, get coffee, bus to work, walk home, study, repeat. Ever since then, all state and federal background and fingerprinting checks take extra long (sometimes months). I also had a 6 hour interview when I applied for my enhanced drivers license.


Out of curiousity, what exactly is an enhanced drivers license?


Recently, they made it in the US so that on domestic flights, you can't fly with just any old driver's license, you need an enhanced one. For international travel you obviously need your passport, but for domestic you now can't use old driver's licenses


Ah, that. I got mine a couple months ago but they were calling it Real ID at the DMV.


Yes, it's called Real ID and they arent required yet. Flew with my Fake ID last week.


This feels like the best answer so far because it clearly did get you on list.


My bf’s relative used to have a really high position at a government agency but was accused of some really shady stuff, chief among which was taking a bribe in the order of millions. I don’t know the whole story but I know she ran away after trying to clear her name. Sometime during that process of trying to clear her name she was supposedly beaten black and blue by the people who tried to get rid of her, hence her running off. For a long while I’ve been told that nobody knows where she is, but that another member of her family knows she’s at least fine/safe. This shit was all over the news, so from time to time by bf would tell me that what the news is reporting is false or at least partially incorrect. One day my bf casually drops that we’re probably being watched. I’m like, huh? He assumed that he might be monitored, as would the rest of his family, in case anyone slips and says where she flew off too. By extension and because we lived together then, I was also monitored? I don’t know if we ever ended up on a list. All I know is that this story is way too complicated for me to get with several layers of political games and deception that I frankly do not care about. But hey one time before all of this came down I got to meet her and we played cards. Several months later, as these events were all over the news and I was visiting my parents I said ‘oh hey yeah I played cards with that lady’ and they both looked at me like I’d grown a second head. I then told them that my bf is related to her. The look on their faces!


Way back in the 1990s, you couldn't join the military in the USA if you were gay and out. And I kept getting recruiters calling me over-and-over again as many high school students do. Eventually I got annoyed enough to just ask, "Well, what if I'm gay?" "You're a homo?" "Yes." \*Click\* And I never got called again! I used to tell people I am in the government's Gaytabase somewhere.


They feed that info straight into the military's Gaydar system.


If you ask about a gay person in the Gaytabase, is it a...queery?


You won’t get a straight answer!


You'll have to search for it bi yourself.


I think all of you drank the Gaytorade.


*hot single gays in your area*


gaytabase. Take your upvote. I also noticed the military recruiters don't put much effort in upper middle class white neighborhoods. I graduated from HS and took a gap year, they knew I wasn't going to college so I'm ripe for the picking. USMC recruiter showed up at my door. Asked me if I was interested. Said no. He thanked me for my time and left. Never heard from another military recruiter in my life.


You aren’t kidding. My brother joined out of a upper middle class area and made the paper.


Lucky, the recruiter that frequented my high school tried to friend me on Facebook the other week


lol...this was WAY before Facebook. 1992 to be exact. Soon after, after a late night of hockey with friends, I heard the doorbell, it kept ringing every few mins. WTF...run downstairs in my polka dot boxer shorts. Rip open the door expecting the military recruiter(kidding) a 13 & 16 yr old jehovah girls pitching me on their church. After a minute of the pitch, I look at the 16 yr old and she's got saucers for eyes and a smirk. WTF...she stops the 13 yr old in the pitch and says 'he's not interested' she apologizes and grabs her sister's arm and leaves then she whispers something in her ear, I turn to go inside to figure out all the hullabaloo. Capt. Winky had decided to see who was outside the flap of my boxers. :facepalm:


Heh this reminds me of the time I opened the door for Jehovah's witnesses at my parents house. I didn't really know what they were doing so I was just acting polite and nice to them, but for some reason they seemed to be in a rush to get away from our house. It seemed weird to me so I told my brother's, and they just burst out laughing and told me to take a look at the shirt it was wearing. It was an Anthrax (a old time speedmetal band), bandshirt with a nice image of the devil as a king from a deck of cards. Complete with about 5 pentagrams...


Rock on dude. I had a denim jacket with among the living album cover patch on the back. 80s ruled.


You get military recruiters calling? That's insane to me.


When I was in high school back in the 80s, one day I took the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (test) in order to get out of class. It was ridiculously easy. The hardest math on the test was long division. My phone rang off the hook from military recruiters calling from all four branches. The guy from the Navy was hilarious though. He said my score made me perfect for their nuclear reactor program (or something). I mentioned the point above about long division, which sort of ended the conversation. There was a guy in my high school named Chris Harvey. Even at 16, he looked like he should be Arnold Schwartzeneggar's side kick in some action movie. He used to tell people he was going into the military so he could kill people. Whenever the recruiters asked if I knew anyone who was interested, I gave them Chris's name. "Yeah, we've already heard of Mr Harvey."


I remember a kid a couple of grades behind me (I'm '84) who *constantly* talked about his upcoming military career. He started almost every sentence with either "In the military..." or "In the Army..." He wanted to go SF, back when that wasn't as well known as today. I don't think anyone in my class had even heard of a Navy SEAL by that point, and Rangers didn't have the oomph! they do now. Remember, Grenada was 1983. Black Hawk Down was still 9 years or so away, and Operation Eagle Claw had barely happened. Anyway, he'd talk and talk and talk about how he was gonna be a Green Beret. My mother told me (I was away at college) that he came back from basic training after 12 days. I have no idea why he was dropped, but probably as unsuitable for military service.


When i was in grade 12 ('87) we had a school wide career day and the military recruiters were there. I signed up for the last session of the day; i was hoping to figure out if there was a way for them to pay for University. At the time i had pretty long hair and I was in the session with a bunch of students who were in Cadets and thought Top Gun was the greatest film ever. They all laughed at me and asked me what i was doing there, since I had really long hair. They were all over the recruiter about becoming a fighter pilot. I told them all that I could cut my hair; could they raise their physics and math marks by 30% to get honours required to get recruited. The Air Force officer burst out laughing at that one. They all left and I stuck around to talk to all of the recruiters. 3 weeks later i was in the Royal Canadian Air Force (reserves) - 3 months before I graduated High School. The other guys never made it past the recruiting interviews.


.. but you weren’t or ..?


I lied--I'm straight. I left it out of the original post because I was worried a coda of "I lied--I'm straight" on that post would come across as mildly homophobic, like I am afraid of internet strangers thinking I am gay and needed a clear disclaimer about it. And the story already had 1 person throwing around casual homophobia, it doesn't need 2!


A guy put me in his "reasons to suicide"list because i was too annoying at the time


Toby is that you?


Fuckin Toby


Always Toby..


How many times did I warn you guys about Toby?!!


Goodbye Toby, it has been Naaaaiiice, hope you find your paradise.


Toby! Toby! Tooooobaaaaay! Toby's goin' away! Seeya! He's outta here!


I was head counselor at a leadership camp in Washington DC. Part of my job was ensuring that kids (age 14-17) arriving at the airport could find us easily. Parents were told NOT to send their child as an "unaccompanied minor", but many didn't listen. So I had to personally sign for over 40 unaccompanied minors in a single day....


Why would they be told not to do that, since that's what they were?


So I think what they're saying is that they said that the kids were flying by themselves, but the OP was taking them as a group


Ohhhh, I thought they were picking up the kids at the other airport, but that makes sense


It's a specific traveler designation for airlines. It means the kid has to be escorted everywhere by an airline employee until the person picking them up signs them out.


I had a couple of those kids on a flight once, two brothers. Sat right next to them, talked a little when they asked me questions and stuff. I'm not normally a talkative person on flights, but I'll engage if someone initiates, and I was trying to make sure two unaccompanied kids I especially wouldn't be too unintentionally gruff or short with. They seemed to take me as enough of a "cool guy" fortunately (I'll guess because I live in t-shirts and jeans with hair down to the middle of my back I come off as a little more "on their level" and less "an adult"), and were nice kids. Flight attendant is checking in on the kids regularly (this and a few other details like how they got seated let me in on this being what was going on), and I'm half-uncomfortable as a dude in his 30s flying solo next to two minors, and wondering how *any* interaction might look. And how the hell I ended up with this seat, of all seats. Then the elder (who has been mostly taking care of his kid brother) starts telling me they're going to go visit their dad in another part of the country, and who they're going to be staying with. Then he talks about missing his mom and crying. I'm...not even good with *people I know* crying. I mostly stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to do (you can tell me the most reasonable sorts of things--hell, I welcome it--but I suspect this isn't likely to change for me) and hoping things get better. (There's an exciting iteration of this where I'm in a movie theatre with my parents and a friend and my mom is crying, and said friend still tells me it was the most awkward shit ever, and I don't blame them for thinking so). So I'm just like...trying to look comfortable and supportive or whatever, and definitely not making any moves to physically comfort anyone, though the kid leans on me a bit and I'm not going to *stop* a crying kid from leaning over or something. Eventually they both fall asleep and I end up walking off the flight like, "Did I just get a taste of foster fatherhood? Mental note: I would be really, really bad at this." I've got adults who probably are parents trying to help out and check in on them, and I'm like "uhhhhh...\*shrug\*?" But it was still kind of interesting to see how that whole "unaccompanied minor" thing works as a system. Pretty glad I never did it as a kid...felt awful for the kid, but glad it just seemed to be a momentary welling-up at least.


On the NSA’s list for using Linux


The NSA has a nerd list?


Yeah, they legitimately do. https://www.eweek.com/security/linux-lands-on-nsa-watch-list/


Took a picture of one of the buildings used in Breaking Bad. Its a federal building. Homeland Security was at my work the next day...so yeah, I'm on that list.


You’re not allowed to take pictures of federal buildings? Non American, colour me confused..


You are allowed to legally. Doesn’t mean that they aren’t going to make your life hell if they think you might be planning something. Normal federal landmarks and courthouses are not going to rouse suspicion. But someone snapping shots of some random federal law enforcement branch? That will raise eyebrows.


My English teacher in high school was very anti-nuclear proliferation. She was also a charming, persuasive person. Talked a whole bunch of us into piling into her van and going to Crystal River Nuclear Power Plant with signs. She taught us a few chants such as Hey Oh Hell No Nukes got to Go! And away we went. Parked just outside the fence and walked in a circle for about 30 minutes in the hot July Florida sun. Y'all know security was just waiting for us. So, we get detained by security. Then arrested and crammed into a cell. No air conditioning, no water. Eventually the cops let us call our parents. I called my dad at work because I thought he'd go easier than my mom. Nope. In theory, I was grounded until I went away to college. Go forward about 12 years. I applied for a job with the state government as a clerical assistant. My second interview, a very stern man in a black suit sits down with a file folder that had to have been an inch thick. Says, tell me about Crystal River. He knew things about me that I didn't even know. After a couple of more interviews and a polygraph, I got the job. But damn! Thanks Mrs. K. I hope you're in heaven protesting something. But I ain't following you anymore.


There had to be a ton of fallout ( heh ) for Mrs. K. to take a bunch of students and protest at a power plant.


She was back teaching when school started the following September. Honestly, I was so wrapped up in my own fallout (heh) that it never occurred to me that a grown up could be in trouble. The only thing my dad said during the 2 hour drive home was I'm so disappointed in you 😢


> He knew things about me that I didn't even know. C’mon, don’t leave us hanging.


Maybe perhaps I might have started smoking weed when I was 14 because of a boy named Billy who had the prettiest blue eyes you ever saw. There's also a tiny possibly I might have allegedly helped push a stolen car into the pond behind my high school. However, since there is no surviving video, I categorically deny these heinous and false reports. One list is enough, tyvm.


I went to a "march on the Pentagon" that started in Washington DC. I was pretty much drunk 24/7 at that time and just went along for the ride. I had slipped off from our group and got a pint of gin to slam before the march when our group leader (who was supposed to be speaking at the event set up in front of the Pentagon) grabbed me and asked me if I wanted to "be in the march." I was trying to tell him that that was the whole idea in the first place, bit he was like "no, like IN THE MARCH. Somebody has got to hold the banner!" So there I was, drunk as *fuck*, holding one end of a banner with *thousands and thousands* of people behind me. At the other end of the banner, across the street, was Cindy Sheehan. We got out of the staging area and as soon as we were on the streets there were crazy amounts of counter-protesters lined up screaming at us. My drunk ass becomes enraged (I didn't really care/believe in the cause) and just started doing that rhythmic back and forth chanting that protesters do, just digging deep into my lungs and screaming myself hoarse. The famous protester lady was giving me the side-eye, but the crowd was really getting whipped up. Halfway across some bridge it suddenly dawned on me that *this was all really happening* and that I likely had made some sort of list by government. I found out years later that one of the founding members of the group I had volunteered with (and had organized the march) was actually an FBI informant and had tried to set some kids up with bombs or some shit for the FBI. Google Brandon Darby+Common Ground and maybe Malik Rahim. Edit: I just took my own advice and Googled and I'm almost 100% sure I'm on a list you guys FML


I worked in a bar with some questionable clientele. FBI agents walked in one morning when I was opening, addressed me by name and wanted to ask me some questions. So, I suppose somewhere at the FBI my name is in a file as being uncooperative.


Saltycybele: Surly, uncooperative, and generally unpleasant. Makes a good Cable Car. Probably not a human trafficker.


I'm on *all* of my friends' lists of " people I know who have a truck in case I ever need to move something big."


Banned from r/bestof by saying this wasn’t a “best of” post. Permanent ban.


I got banned from a sub for writing one word on a post which didn’t suit that sub either. The word was ‘yikes’.


Way back in the day I was in a sportbike club and we would do...um....stuff quickly on public roads. So one night (1-6 AM) we hook up with some exotic car guys and spend the night racing, they had a few guys filming the races, it was a lot of fun. Fast forward a year or so and my brother goes to the police academy and he's in the high pursuit / driving portion of the course. They show a video of these dangerous street racing jackasses here in the state that the instructor informs the class that they are still investigating...and the race between me and another bike pops up on the projector. Brother knew exactly who the green bike hauling ass belonged to, so I guess I was on a list for a while.


I thought you meant you were doing OTHER kinds of stuff on the road, especially in the next sentence when I misread it as “erotic car guy”


“We would do *stuff* quickly on public roads... Anyways we were street racing..” 😂


Could be doing both. Multitasking, as they say.


Hey, we did wheelies, burnouts and other go fast things too..not just street racing :)


He was *sweatin*..


Nope, he was trying not to laugh


That’s even better.


Had a pension meeting via Skype. I work for a global company. Asked the question, "do the death in service benefits pay out in the event of employee suicide?"


Well what did they say


It's early days yet but I had occupational health calling me!


Well I am sorry but glad you got help if you needed it


When I was a teenager, like maybe 15, I tried looking for underage porn because I wanted stuff of girls my age. This was early 2000's, so tracking software was not as good, and definitely know as an adult how sketchy that was. (I want to be damn clear that it was over 10 years ago when I was a 15-16 y/o looking for images of other 15/16 y/o. Was not looking for creepy young, and certainly lost all interest in minors once I got to college) Edit: kind of uneasy with how upvoted this got, and therefore how many people saw this... Also, never actually found any, so I'm not sure if I technically did anything illegal, or if just the attempt was all it takes. Also-also, this was before the days of teenagers having thier own computer or smartphone, it was just the household desktop we had so any "list" would have registered my parents... Oops. Edit 2: I'm well aware me being underage at the time doesn't change the legality, it's just to hopefully get some ethical forgiveness. This is a post about what gets you on a list after all :/


Apparently this is more common than people realise. It's come up in my safeguarding training as a teacher.


I've seen multiple people post similar comments on here. Really needs to be part of school sex education (not sure if it is or not).


This and sending nude photos when you're underage. I've talked to so many teenagers about this (I used to work at an adolescent rehab). I don't care how in love you are, if your girlfriend or boyfriend sends you a nude and he or she is underage, you are in possession of child pornography. Then, if his or her parents get mad and want to make a big deal out of it, a big deal can certainly be made. Similarly, if you are underage and take a nude of yourself, you are in possession of child pornography. Unless it's changed recently, the law does not change depending on who is in the photo. Then, if you send it, legally speaking, you've now distributed cp as well.


>Similarly, if you are underage and take a nude of yourself, you are in possession of child pornography. This I never understood. I'm curious. If you have a nude from when you were underage could you still be prosecuted for it after you pass 18?


From everything I've ever read, yep. Any picture of someone under 18 that is intended for sexual purposes(you'd have a hard time proving otherwise), falls under that umbrella.


That's crazy


Just to clarify, if you're underage and have a nude, you can be prosecuted while underage. Underage porn isn't like underage sex. If two fifteen year olds have sexual contact and they both consent. That's not illegal. If two 15 year olds have nudes of each other or themselves, they're both in possession of underage porn. Interestingly, this means Snapchat has TB of illegal porn because they keep every pic sent through their apps.


Wait, how? It’s illegal for to 15 year olds to have pictures of each other but not illegal for them to have consensual sex? What? How are pictures more illegal than touching each other all over? Can someone explain?


Well pictures falls in the CP category, so it's highly illegal, no matter the context (it's probably debatable but well so far that's the law, at least in the US). Sex on the other end is not illegal, if made between 2 consenting person (within the age limit yada yada you get it). Sex itself is not a reprehensible act. CP is illegal, and it's easier to forbid all CP than making exemptions.


Before I was of legal age I searched for sexy pictures of girls my own age. I’m really glad I didn’t find any.


I did the same thing when I was young and all I got was mugshots of convicted pedophiles.


why do these 12 year olds have beards and orange clothes


Answered some questions on reddit


Agreed. Nice try on this one, CIA!


Not today, FBI!


See you later..KGB?


About 10 years ago I was writing an essay on the Mussolini government for uni and I made a lot of references to the diary of his Foreign Minister. I had a copy in English, but the night before it was due I realised I needed my references in Italian, so I had to source an Italian PDF version asap. Annoyingly, I just searched now and immediately found a free link with no sign up. Back in 2011 I didn't find that. The only place I found it was on a forum. And of course, you had to register to access any files, so yeah that's the story of how - in a time before I understood VPNs - I had to join a white supremacist message board to avoid failing my degree 👍


This…I…uh…how did you do?


He got an A on white paper.


I used to party with this guy who just got out of prison for the second time for trafficking cocaine.


Known associate. Same.


Did some consulting on high network load prediction for the national phone network, got admin level access to the 3 top level switches and was read in on the police and armed forces communication plans for a terrorist attack. Shortly after that a chap, who went to school with a friend of mine, called Richard Reid tried to blow up a plane with a bomb in his shoe. Turns out if you have one degree of separation from a terrorist AND the ability to shut down all communications on the phone network from your laptop, people from the government come say hello.


> people from the government come say hello. As in? Did you just get a visit and a lot of question? Were you able to keep doing your job? Or did it have some serious negative impact on your career?


I got a visit from a couple of nice chaps, lots of questions and a couple of days off while they confirmed a few things. Luckily, I had been interviewed and investigated previously as part of the process of getting clearance for a couple of other secret squirrel things so they already had a file on, and a good opinion of, me. If I hadn't had that, things would have taken longer.


>people from the government come say hello Well that's so nice of them to engage in pleasantries even while investigating a terrorist attack! Were they able to stay for tea? /s


I’m curious if they barged in, with or without a warrant?


In my second hand experience they’re actually quite nice until they have a reason not to be, kinda reminded me of a door to door vacuum salesmen or something.


I recently wired an amount of money in excess of $10,000. That puts you on a list. *Any* transaction with cash in excess of $10,000 puts you on a list. It's an anti-money laundering mechanism. I mean, sure, they'll also find a mortgage I took out effective the next day, and they'll see that oh hey, the wire transaction was approximately 20% of the value of the mortgage, and the wire went to the title company associated with the mortgage. But still, large value wire transfers are a known AML red flag.


Its always important to note, that larger transfers are legal, and just generate a report. Trying to avoid that report being generated is a crime known as structuring. Its a serious federal crime, and they can take the money. So if you ever need to transfer more than $10k, just transfer it all at once, and have the report generated.


Looking up nuclear weapons on ebay


Hunting for a discount, I see.


Any luck?


Few smoke detectors


Accidentally marched with the Spanish communist party in front of the US consulate in a May Day parade.


I lived in Barcelona, Spain, in the late 1980's and early 90s. When I went, I couldn't speak a word of Spanish, nor did I know anything at all about Spain. Yes, it was a foolish choice to go there in the first place, but that's another story. So on May 1st of our first year there, an equally foolish fellow American and I went out to get some food, and found all of stores and restaurants closed. So while wandering around our neighborhood in the old city, we found a parade, which was the May day parade, with lots of communists, etc., with signs an d flags. We tried to cross the street, Via Laietana, but sort of got sucked into marching with them for about half a block until we could get to the other side. It was only when we got to that side that we looked up, and saw the flag of the US consulate. Oops. We eventually found a punk-bar that didn't give a shit about May Day so we drank instead. Yea, it was a fun few years. Oh, and as I didn't speak Catalan at the time, we couldn't recognize that they were chanting anti-American, anti-capitalists slogans as we were with them. Yea; on a list somewhere.


Please elaborate.


I google a lot of things when I watch TV shows to see how real they are. Breaking Bad and Dexter probably got me on a lot of lists


I could imagine the bewilderment my FBI agent feels watching me going through lists of serial killers by victims while doing psych papers in college


On my right shoulder I have *my guardian angel* On my left shoulder I have *my demon* And on my elbow I have *my FBI agent*


I threatened a state official when I was 9 and had an FBI agent come to my door. My mom was scared and started to cry being an immigrant mom and my dad rushed from his work to get there. All I had to do was write an apology email. I did but never heard anything again.


What was the threat?


You are a poopy head


"I'm gonna kick you in the nuts"


Dad works for a high security job for the government. Not like the FBI or anything, kind of a niche job but he was basically told when he was hired they'd be monitoring him and his family to make sure no one joined any anarchist groups. Also I'm a Chem major in college who hasnt applied to post college school or joined a med track. I've been casually told by a chem prof who worked for the government that I'm def on a watch list for that cause of the high incidence of people wanting to be chem majors to get access to the ingredients for drugs. Yah, I'm on some kind of list, not really my fault tho lol.


Honestly, any number of things for my roleplaying games. In the D&D campaign I run, I look up a lot of information on what makes societies run smoothly and what makes them crumble. I also need to look up information on the fly depending on what my players do, such as finding the flammability/explosiveness of various substances. In the Call of Cthulu campaign I am a player in, as a party, we have decided that we want to blow up a cultist headquarters underneath the local city hall. This has required me to do some googling on period appropriate bomb making. So that probably doesn't help my case either.


Oh I've got a similar thing. Trying to write something and there are some illegal situations coming up. Wonder if that's really in some list somewhere now. Maybe will use TOR next time.


Downloading TOR also gets you put on a list, although I guess if you're then going to Google things that would get you put on a worse list it doesn't matter. Plus there's anonymous ways of downloading TOR if you have a friend who already has TOR.


The life of a DM. Random Google searches for the weirdest shit that lands you on a list somewhere


I do this for Vampire. Had to Google quite a bit of things related to blood - most notably, how much blood can a person lose before getting seriously ill or dying.


Well, I have, shall we say, an enquiring mind, so I've Goguled nuclear weapons, chemical warfare, industrial accidents and so on... But possibly the most awkward one ever could be after watching the film, "Mrs Henderson Presents." There's a bit in it where the lead male actor is naked and turns around, giving a bit of a glimpse of a rather handsome willy... so I Googled the actor's name to see if I could have a decent ogle. My search was: "Will Young Cock" I am eternally grateful to Google's engineers.


FYI: If you're Google Image Searching grandfather clocks, make sure you spell that shit *right*.


Dated a ballet dancer who was a mafioso's mistress. Shit ensued, life sucked. I miss her, but not a damn thing I can do about that...and definitely resulted in me getting on a list.


holy shit that could be a movie. thats a crazy story, i wanna hear more. how did you meet her?


Online chatroom in the late 90s on dial up AOL. Fairly small community at the time, maybe 200 regulars. If it was a movie no one would believe it. It was pretty awful for 3 years or so.....in the end they disappeared her into some witness protection.....heard from her in a phone call about a year after she disappeared talked for about 10 min. So much I wish I would have said differently, but absolutely no way I can find her now.....


Dude write a book lmao


I was born. That put me on the government's list of people.


It's not a probably, I'm on a local arson watch list, at least a few years back the fire dude threatened me with it when we called in a out of control fire across the road. We pulled up and was like shit. Called. And here we are


I knew a guy who joined the local volunteer fire brigade when he was 17 years old (the minimum requirement to join). His dad is also a member and he is always trying to impress his father. Where he lived the age for driving is 18, so he was only able to get to the station by bike, and despite living 2km away from the station, he was almost always the first there. Especially if it happened to be a small bin fire somewhere around town... almost like he knew it was going to be called in before it happened. One year later, after he turned 18 and got his drivers license, the bin fires around town suddenly stopped. In their place there was a spree of grassland fires 10-15 km outside of town. Guess who was first at the station? He wanted to become a paid firefighter, however the region has a lot of say as to whether a prospective recruit is suitable for the role. It was a resounding "fuck no!" because despite there never being any concrete evidence that proved he was lighting all of the fires, they were very uncomfortable with the amount of coincidence surrounding him. Also, whenever he was on a fire ground, he would get himself so worked up and excited that he would throw up. Fire excites him.


Note to self: if you see an out of control fire, ignore it and move along.


Visited Russia as a Russian born American citizen.


After reviewing some answers, I can now safely say to all who are worried about probably being on a list. You are most \*definitely\* now on a list


Said something negative about our glorious Chinese Overlords online.


You mean West Taiwan?


Sad news guys, u/Ximidar committed suicide tomorrow but shooting themselves in the back of the head 12 times, truly tragic, let us pray for their family.


Yes, the Winnie the Pooh Taiwan.


Nice try, FBI


Not today, CIA.


Not taking your bait, Department of State.


Been to China.


Some parts of China are really beautiful but everything else is... [REDACTED]


Searching up “niglet” on urban dictionary on one of the school computers


Oh man, that reminds me of that video of the [guy telling the story of the most racist field trip when he was in school.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PToqVW4n86U)


Bought bullets by the thousand online. Pretty sure I'm on a list of some sort. It's ok, it was all legal and for the range. I was surprised that there were no checks for it. Just click, buy, and wait. Come home to a box of 1000 rounds sitting outside my door in our apartment complex. Havent bought any live ammo in years, I reload it all, so this may have changed.


If that puts you on a list then there are a ton of people on it. SGammo has been the best place for me to find a bunch of my milsurp calibers, although the last 9 months have been a lot tougher. I've gotten a few thousand rounds through them alone in the last year.


This is why I always laugh at news reports: "Police found 2000 rounds of ammo in his home". Ok, that's enough for like... 8-9 trips to the range. When it's a good sale, I buy a LOT.


I remember pre-Covid I'd seen a story of a guy who was arrested with "several guns and thousands of rounds of ammunition" in his home. I checked the article, just to see the numbers they were talking about, and I bring that same amount with me on an average trip to the range, especially when I bring friends and we make an afternoon of it.


I find nuclear physics and nuclear related things really interesting I imagine googling how to purify uranium has me on quite a few lists, also nuclear glass is really cool I think Nile red has a video where he makes some


I'm on a list for a book my dad was writing -_-


What was the book about?


It was called "Rise and Fall of the USSA". Point is he was researching a bunch of extremists, do we ended up "Orange Listed" or some shit -_-


My user name, maybe


Me too.


Can I join the group?


Over the decades? Hmmmmmmm... Bought explosive components for sfx, (potassium chlorate, sulphur, etc - highly unstable, not for firework making in any quantity!). Bought CPU de-lidding stuff - fuming Nitric acid, and glacial sulphuric acid (aqua regis... can dissolve gold, sulfuric acid removes water from anything easily, including skin) Bought mercury and gallium for some experiments. (when mixed turn aluminium into soft clay like substance, mega banned on airplanes) Bought a 10 watt blue laser, and some divergent lenses (engraving, smaller more stable lasers for holograms). Bought several high-voltage generators. (plasma candles, corona discharge images, Kirlian photography) Got some antibacterial UVC eye-burning tubes (sterilising petri dishes). A whole range of prepared microscope slides of various terrible bacteria. (They all look blobby, boring) Downloaded the most up to date DOD IP address list I could find. (good to avoid when doing network scans!) Bought about 70 microcurie of Americium for my spinthariscope. (Enough to see the glow in a dark room) Created an X-Ray machine from spare parts. (Made many images of controllers, powerbanks, wind up bird, hand... etc) I'm just a curious person, who's into science. I'll post pictures of any of the above if you wanted more details. =) If I'm not on a list, I'd be a little tiny bit surprised, but I've never bought large quantities of anything - it's all very small scale lab-desk size. Hopefully that reduces my "Danger to self or others" rating by a huge amount.


That sounds like expensive hobbies. Edit: yes we want pics!


Studied History in College.


I still recall the traumatized sheltered student library worker who got to check all of my books out to me for my undergrad seminar paper, which was focused on Soviet revolutionary thought. There were probably 30 to 40 books for me either written by or about Bolsheviks, Mensheviks, anarchists, and more at a very conservative Christian college. "Is--is this for a class?" she asked. I just smiled and didn't answer. The look she gave me in response told me I was totally going on a list.


>Is—is this for a class? It’s for a class struggle.


Librarians usually are pretty big on privacy.


Uh oh, looks like someone's committing some thoughtcrime!


I ordered cannabis seeds from Amsterdam to the sates and it took 4 attempts until one of the packages got through customs.


Alright Pablo Escobar


Eh my FBI agent has seen enough of my Google search history to know that I'm just curious. I've made homemade explosives before and other various mad scientist type experiments. I'm definitely on a list but not high enough for them to worry.


*laughs in Homeland Security*


“this MF can’t even get the Ph right for the titration” Level 0 priority. Move along.