Everyone has to start somewhere, I wouldn't discriminate.
I feel like I’d be too tempted to be like “don’t worry, it’s completely normal for me to leave the tip of my finger in your belly button the entire time”
It was actually a huge point of contention in my last relationship.
My belly button (innie) is sensitive, if you poke at it and your finger goes too deep, it causes a sharp pain in my pubic region, kind of above my genitals. Don't know why, and it's never really bothered me because, nobody really messes with it so whatever.
Welllll, my ex thought it'd be cute to poke it one day and I screamed out in surprise and a bit of pain, not anything too crazy just a sharp "OW" and smacked his hand away, and he got SO offended! "What? I like poking my partner's belly button, it's cute! Like a little dimple!" I'm like "Okay, I get that, and it's fine since I've never brought it up before, but that hurts me so please don't."
Not only did he not believe me, he took that as a fucking challenge, to do it when im not expecting it, and then laugh trying to get me to laugh along, thereby "busting" me that it didn't hurt and I just didn't want him to do it for other unexplained reasons.
Yeah, the relationship lasted 4 years and it was way too long, things like that should have clued me in that he didn't respect my bodily autonomy and privacy WAY earlier.
I find it funny because I tried to tel my wife “if you poke my belly button and pull to that side, don’t ask why but it makes my penis hurt”
So I totally get the weird genital pain from belly button play
Awesome, im NOT the only one!
Why is that even a thing though i hate it
I sometimes do it to remind myself I can’t be in a computer program because “who the hell would think to program something like that”
It’s a bug
Exactly, proof of the simulation
I also get this. I just always figured there was some sort of nerve there and it happened to everyone lol. Maybe not.
You are not the only one! Apparently this is a thing. I recently read a book where one of the main characters did not like anyone touching his belly button because it caused him pain.
The fuck kind of books do you read?
The pain right in the tip of the peen hole
I belive the belly button is connected to some part of the digestive system by soft tissue, sort of a tendon/ligament. So it makes sense that a poke will cause discomfort.
*everyone in the thread immediately pokes their bellybutton... *
I had to remove a tick from my bellybutton once so I'm intimately familiar with the weird sensations associated with it.
There are a lot of nerves in/around/behind the bellybutton that can stimulate other spots if you poke them hard. I can feel it down my thighs if I poke too far in and it's REALLY uncomfortable - like a bad funnybone feeling.
Edit: Also fuck that guy, that's such an extremely uncool way to treat someone.
You sir, got me poking inside my belly button at 1 in the morning. And for some reason I feel it in my throat when I push around in there?
I feel it in my belly button when I poke in there.
for some reason it fires up some nerves in my crotch. Idk how that's possible
I did some poking around in there and now I have a boner. It’s because the nervous system is connected in different ways.
I feel like I’m peeing myself when I touch mine.
I thought I was a freak of nature for having deferred belly button pain!
I'm the same way. Since my ex tried to touch it all the time, I told my current partner from day 1 that if he ever touched my belly button it would be unforgivable, he'd never get near it again and our relationship would be over. Almost a year into our relationship, after I hadn't mentioned it in ages, he accidently stuck a finger in there while hugging me. It was totally fine, just an accident, I wasn't mad at all, but the look on his face was absolutely priceless. He apologized immediately and begged forgiveness. He had remembered what I said at the very beginning and took my boundary very seriously. That's what respect looks like, I just wish I'd figured that out years ago.
Good for you for breaking up with that guy.
Thats actually so wholesome and sweet!
Ugh, I can relate. Had an ex that always tickled me, or poked me in sensitive areas, and no matter how many times I tried to say "I actually really dislike that" they always made out like *I* was being a downer.
Edit: turns out I have autism, explains the sensory sensitivity, maybe saying that would have been enough to make them stop?
Autism or not, someone disobeying your requests regarding how you feel about your body is unacceptable bullshit.
Sounds like that person didn’t have much empathy, and they weren’t tuned into you.
Forget empathy. That’s a fundamental lack of basic respect.
Yeah, my wife says that it hurts to get tickled under her armpit. I don't believe it as it just sounds unreal to me, but that doesn't mean I keep doing it to her. That means I respect her wishes and don't do that. It doesn't matter what I believe about the body, she doesn't want to be touched there.
Four years of your partner actively hurting you because they refused to believe you? Damn, you must have the patience of a saint.
He toned down after a few months of me holding fast to it and always reiterating that, no, its not okay.
I have been told that before though in reference to this relationship for other reasons. Makes me feel.... weird. I don't want the patience of a Saint, I want a partner that won't try my patience in the first place.
Live and learn
Ooh, I have a similar thing with my bellybutton. I don't know if it's pain, but it's definitely uncomfortable.
No one's tried to finger it though. Who tf does that? Bellybuttons are nasty on the inside.
> Bellybuttons are nasty on the inside.
I think you're missing a spot in the shower if this is a common issue for you.
You should wash it regularly. If you have a deep innie, use a qtip.
As I said, severly uncomfortable. It feels like someone poking their finger through the hole in my dick.
They're wired together. I'm not joking, either... the body is weird like that.
Just read up on this as i've noticed this weird feeling to and this is what I got. Essentially your stomach has a bunch of nerves and whatnot, when you poke your navel you're setting off nerves. These relay information back to the spine in the exact same area as those of your bladder and urethra. So, as you stick your finger into your belly button, it sends a signal from the deeper fibers that line your inner abdominal cavity to your spinal cord. Because your spinal cord at that level is also relaying signals from your bladder and urethra, it feels almost the same. You interpret this as discomfort in your bladder.
How old are you? From what I've hear, the older you get the more you discriminate on this issue
When 24 you would be OK dating someone with no romantic experience, but when 37 you wouldn't
Surely there's no way you're older than 40!?
Everyone knows old people don't understand what reddit is! /s
48 year old Redditor here to say hello! Wait. What is this? What am I doing here? Is this a chat room? I'm lost.
If my girlfriend didn’t date me despite this I’m certain I’d be single now. We’ve been going for 4 years now.
Yeah it'll be the same thing as not getting a job because you have no experience.
Of course. I'm not about to pass up the chance to have someone say "You were the best I ever had" and have it be factually accurate!
It was the best of sex, it was the worst of sex.
He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink
He sings the songs that remind him of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him of the better times
Boooooooooy danny boooooooooy
I GET KNOCKED DOWN
BUT I GET UP AGAIN
*pissing the night away*
Switch the 1st and 3rd letters of the song name.
E Git Knocked Down!
That’s not the name of the song though..
I think he means tubthumping turning into butt humping
It was the best of sex, it was the *blurst* of sex? You stupid monkey!
A Tale of Two Titties?
You're also the worst *winky face*
Yeah, then we'd have something in common
You're gonna have to compete with the rest of reddit.
Except all the players over there at r/ihavesex
Those are some real vaginal intercourse experts.
Yeah, I really love boobs. They feel just like bags of sand.
They do? Cool.
Yes, but with a sweaty underside and unlike those stress balls with faces, the eyes don't pop out when you squeeze them. Though that would be cool. And now I'm a little sad that that doesn't happen.
I squeeze a loaf and wonder if that's what boobs feel like.
I'm squeezing one of mine right now to see and its a definite no.
My non-redditor friend says they feel like stress balls
As a woman, that's what I use them as.
Most popular gal in the office around crunch time.
You must have felt boobs before if you’re comparing them. You’re the imposter redditor.
Gasp! You've seen right through me!
If they see right through you that’s the most action redditors have seen.
Imagine squeezing a water balloon with a small rock inside at the center. You're welcome.
Source: Have boobs.
Shake and bake, Ricky?
I hate the sand. It's coarse, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere.
Came here to say this. Happy to find it already said.
This but unironic
My partner and I were each others first real relationship so we were both pretty inexperienced. I personally think it was really nice that we had the opportunity to figure out what we liked together :)
Same here. We were also each other’s first, and were young and inexperienced. Now we’re old and inexperienced.
At least you’re both still on the same page!
awww that's sweet :)
After all sex is not something you gain, it's something you explore.
Sure I could probably lead them into believing that my pp is the right size.
Gotta play the long con, 'cause I ain't got a long dong.
You ain't struggling for dates with banter like that...
Don’t say that immediately after unless it’s the second date
Yes everyone’s gotta start somewhere
Of course. I'm attracted the person, not their sexual experience. Plus, that might even be interesting.
It's the lack of relationship experience that would stop me
I know perfectly reasonable and mature people with little to no relationship experience, and people with plenty of relationship experience who are insane, immature, whirlwinds of a person.
I know which kind of person I'd rather date.
Ayyy, we got ourselves the average work recruiter in here
sure, don't see why not. I've never resented teaching.
I’ve seen videos like this on a very special website
I love skillshare!
They have classes taught by masters in their field! It's amazing!
And they'll give you a 10% discount with code "ZutAlors"
Pretty sure it was MasterClass
expert sex change?
Featuring Special Guest Lecturer Mike Hawk
Now hold your feet together like this
I made a throwaway just to answer this, so that you can hopefully feel better about yourself.
I lost my virginity at 25 to one of the sweetest and most attractive women I've ever met. She was 26 at the time and had a fair bit of experience when it comes to relationships, she was one of those girls that are basically never single. We went on a date, had an amazing time, I told her I had very little experience(but I never actually told her I never even kissed a girl). I walked her home, when she saw I was hesitating, she basically subtly told me to kiss her and then invited me upstairs and we eventually ended up having sex. I went from a guy who had never kissed a girl to a guy who had sex in a matter of hours. 10 years later, married with two kids, still have sex almost every day and according to her I am the best lover she has ever had. There you have it. Some people don't really give a crap about "experience".
EDIT: Wow thanks for the awards strangers. Didn't expect this comment to blow up.
EDIT2: Some people seem to be really invested in the frequency married people have sex and are twisting my words. Sure, I wrote "almost every day". What I meant is 3-4 times a week. Plenty enough I think. That was not the point of my post though. Ultimately it's reddit, believe what you want, I just tried to share my experience with OP.
That's super wholesome
That’s just the way too wholesome could you please turn it down
My poor cynical heart doesn’t want to believe it.
You can believe it, but understand it's pretty rare.
Sounds like me and my husband!
He had never even held hands with a girl before me. I was his first *everything.* We’re celebrating our 14th anniversary this month.
Wholesome levels are off the charts here.
As a 30 year old virgin, this gives me *some* hope. lol
26 turning 27, this post gives me hope too haha.
I’m 26. Count me in. A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
You guys should go on a date. All of you, a threesome.
Hey you need to be there with them too for *moral support*
Emotional and moral support is my specialty z let's make it 5 then!
I lost my v card at 27 to my now girlfriend who did the same. We were each others first too. It can happen.
I’m in the same boat as you. Unfortunately I had 2 friends say they’d never do anything with anyone with no experience. Kind of made me feel hopeless.
If it makes you feel better I think women with no experience are hardly seen as undesirable by many as opposed to men.
I (55F) dated a guy a few years back who was a fifty-something year old virgin. We weren't right for each other for a few different reasons unrelated to sexuality. I was sexually attracted to him. His virginity was not a problem for me. If we had worked out, I would have done him.
Hi, it's me him.
don't worry, some of us haven't had sex in so long we might as well be virgins
Yes. 8 years ago feels like it happened in a past life
I feel that, hopefully my once every blue moon time is coming soon.
I wish I had a sex countdown clock to know how many more years/months/days until I get laid again.
I'm basically going to have to relearn everything when it does happen from lack of practice.
Speaking anecdotally, a lot of the male-virgin shaming comes from other men.
I knew so many people in high school who were having sex that when I lost my virginity at 21 I felt super late and lame. My girlfriend was super sweet though. She was patient and jokingly told me the real sex would come 30 or so minutes after the first time we tried. I didn't understand until I unloaded like 8 mins in. I felt embarrassed but she was so cool and said now we do the waiting game. 30 minutes later I was putting in work, you feel me.
Man. I literally lasted about 8-10 seconds the first time I was inside a vagina. My gf had been with a fair few guys before me, but she was so supportive and happy for me lmao. What a night
Ok so I lost my virginity at 27. Im now 29. So dont loose hope.
Honestly one day I matched with a girl on tinder. She asked me what I was looking for so I said I was looking to loose my virginity. She liked my honesty and it turned her on. Next evening I was at her place, loosing my virginity to her. So maybe you can try that with your next match :) good luck man, I know the struggle. My first one took 27 years and the second one only 13 months! So dont give up!
Now just lose that misspelling.
She just loosened his virginity up a bit. It's good practice before you go all the way
Your username makes this so much better.
I don't really care since you can always learn and get better.
People should never expect to have the best sex with someone the first time they have sex...it takes practice.
Sexy is like pizza, it’s always good in a way. Even when cold the next morning
"Sex is like pizza, even when it's bad it's still pretty good"
I know it's been said a few times but I first came across it in a movie over 20 years ago. All I remember about the movie is that line and that the guy who said it might have been blonde. I don't even remember what movie it was.
Hmmm nope, not always. My first time I pretty much gave up because I got bored. Not sure where the issue was, but plain sleep would've been a better idea
Sometimes its pineapple pizza and i HATE PINAPPLE PIZZA
No relation with virgins tho
Of course! If I truly liked them for their personality we could get through the sexual stuff together. Also, just because someone hasn't done something before doesn't mean they can't be great at it.
No. My wife wouldn’t like it.
There are always a real gems in the comments.
I am currently 2 years into a relationship with someone who had no previous relationships and no sexual experience. Hands down healthiest relationship and best sex of my life. I was never bothered by his lack of experience, just surprised that such an amazing person could be single for so long. I adore him and very much hope that he will be “the one” 😊
I started dating a 31 year old woman when I was 26. She'd never even been kissed, and just didn't seem particularly interested in a love-life. Nonetheless, she was willing to let me take her out.
Four months later, she was no longer a virgin. Six years later, we've lived together for four years and are engaged to be married.
She's the best kiss and the best sex I've ever had. She's not the *dirtiest* sex I've ever had, but the emotional connection overrides everything else when we're in the moment. It's amazing how much attachment can contribute to the quality of the sex.
She's also the most easy-going partner I've ever had, and it's the relationship I've had to work the least at to make it functional. Because of her stability and maturity she already had by getting to 31 with total independence, she was an ideal partner and our lives meshed together effortlessly. Sure, it could've gone the other way - she might've been super clingy and emotionally retarded - but as fate would have it, she was the perfect woman for me.
Don't discount someone with no experience - they might surprise you.
maturity plays big role in relationships
I date a person I feel romantically connected to.
Their experience is largely irrelevant.
As someone who has no sexual or romantic experience at 21, wow! It’s crazy how many people are saying yes. I honestly peeked at this thread just to see because I wanted to know the answers and I just feel like I have to state this:
I’m comfortably with being inexperienced because I’ve seen how relationships ruin or make people. I have an outsider perspective to divorces, long term relationships, long distances, etc. I never dated in high school even when my friends severely peer pressured me into it (I remember the quote: “your standards are too high, start with a fuckboy and work your way up. You don’t deserve better”). I was focused on school and being comfortable with myself. I’ve been on one date in 21 years and it was incredibly uncomfortable because it felt like he kept trying to please me. If I liked A, well “I can try and get into A!” and if I didn’t like B “you’re right, I don’t like B”. First and last date with him. My family, however, encouraged me to “experiment” with him. That wasn’t fair to either of us, I had argued. I’m not going to use a man just to gain experience when I don’t find myself attracted to him.
I’m lonely sometimes but my therapist asks me why I don’t seek out dates. Dating apps are too artificial and I don’t want my first relationship to be solely a hookup. “Also,” I explain, “I’m lonely, but I don’t want to date just to date. I want to find the right person. But more importantly, I can’t love another person if I don’t like myself first.” Dating in high school for me would have been disastrous. I was brash, stubborn, close-minded, and had no self-esteem. It’s taken a year of therapy to grow past who I was and whenever I find myself in a relationship, I hope it’s someone who I can find comfort in a friendship and love in a partner. Am I scared because I have no experience? YES. But am I excited? Yes!
Advice for those who might date us non-experienced folk: please be patient and understanding, know that we might have questions or be tentative in certain situations (heck, how do I know when to call someone my partner?? when does going on dates shift to dating??), and just know that we might be inexperienced but we’re not immature.
And to everyone in relationships or will be in a relationship in the future: please communicate. I’ve witnessed so many relationships, platonic and romantic, collapse because of lack of communication. I’ve had friends sob on me at 3am because their boyfriend said something that they misunderstood. If you don’t feel comfortable enough to place boundaries and have open, honest conversations with someone, can you really see yourself in a healthy long term relationship with that person?
Dude same but I'm 24
Same but I'm 34. I tried a couple dates just to see, but it never really clicked. I'd rather be a little lonely than put myself through that kind of emotional wringer.
And I always compare potential partners to my own mother failed relationships and I just can't even bother to have that type of energy in my life.
For what it's worth being a virgin at 21 is also not that crazy. About 10-15% of 21 yo are virgins.
That highschool movie pretending everyone is sleeping with everyone age 13 is totally exaggerated. (Also at that age your classmates lie to sound more experienced/mature than they really are)
Oh definitely! It’s the societal expectation that creates this sense of pressure on people and this “I’m running out of time” mentality. Being at college is very interesting because it feels like people expect you to have experience when they themselves don’t and they’re trying to gauge your level of experience. It’s the classic *shifty eyes* “so like...what have you done?” and when I say nothing, I get a response of a huge exhale and then “yeah I haven’t done a lot either. BUT I WANT TO, Y’KNOW?!”. 😂
There's also the opposite societal pressure that girls face about being a 'slut' if they have one night stands or sleep with a bunch of guys.
I had one evening where I ended up hanging out with the sister of one of my friends. She lived in a section of the dorms that had a very gossipy and conservative group of people living there.
The night had started out when we both happened to be at the same bar, had a few drinks and decided to hang out. We went back to her dorm and were sitting in one of the common rooms.
Literally nothing sexual was going on. We were just holding hands and half cuddling. No kissing or groping. Just holding onto each other and chatting about life. It was very tame. It had a bit of possible romance to it, but nothing overtly sexual. We were holding onto each other and occasionally stroking the others arm or giving a hug. Neither of us had any expectation that it would advance to anything more that night.
One guy exited his dorm room and saw us holding hands and when she noticed she scuttled away from me talking about how gossipy her group of dorm rooms were, and that rumors could spread that she was sleeping around.
We were literally just holding hands and she was scared that her reputation would be ruined.
It was the most brutal rejection I had ever received. That she kinda liked me but wouldn't want to actually be seen with me. Even in a mostly chaste setting. We were kinda friends after that but only ever hung out at group settings. I think she knew she hurt my feelings pretty badly.
10-15%? That's lower than I expected tbh. Where did you get that info?
Fr. 21 is still very young. I would assume the percentage is more like 32-40%
Rates change over time (and seem to be slowing) but 10 years ago, per the CDC, about 65% of 19-year-old Americans had engaged in penis-in-vagina sex.
Yeah it seems really low... Myself and pretty much all of my close friends were virgins at 21. We were also religious so we were probably outliers, lol.
I didn't even kiss anyone until I was 25 so uhh I was a bit of a late-bloomer (to say the least).
Only 15% of 21-year-olds are virgins? Seriously? I knew so many virgins at that age tbh.
Also 21. I just can't seem to find energy into putting into a relationship. I've had a few friends of mine trying to take things further with me but it's always made me uncomfortable because I only wanted to be friends with them and nothing more. I remember being in a "relationship" with someone even tho I felt nothing towards her and she was head over heels for me, which only made the break up and ghosting hurt even more for her cause I just don't have it in me to care. I'm not trying to be a bad person or anything, I just thought I felt something but in reality I was empty. Advice for other people is to remember to take your time and just let it happen naturally, ask for others advice when you feel comfortable doing so since they have outsiders perspective. If you're not being true to yourself, than there's no way you're being true to your partner
When you’re having fun with a friend and they hit you with that “hey, I have to tell you something...” 😔
This spoke to me in more ways than one. Thank you for putting this into words.
Honestly as a resident mini thot I can confirm too every new person you are with you’re basically a virgin again anyway with each new person you meet.
Each person has such wildly different things they enjoy and honestly (if it’s a healthy little sheet rolling fun) there’s a lot of communication on what to do or how to do it because I know my body not theirs.
So honestly each new person is a new teaching/taught experience so I think that’s why all of us are like yo why wouldn’t we lol
Like you said it’s all communication. Each person will go on dates different or be able to call them “dating or partners” at different stages so it’s all about the maybe awkward communication of putting yourself out there
And also pro tier on already realizing communication is the most important thing because nothing can solve anything faster than actually asking hard questions instead of assuming (my parents always said to assume makes an ass out of you and me so I mean).
Sir this is reddit, we **all** have 0 sexual experience
Dunno but OP seems obsessed with not having Sex at age 24, at a point it's mentally hurting him(based on his account, all his post are smh related to how he's eligible but never gets sex) like duh, you don't need sex to be accepted, yeah people will always judge you but bro if everyone in your friend circle judge for who you're and consider having "SEX" with mature, bro you should change your friends coz believe me they'll always let you down..
There are many other things to do in life other then Sex and don't let that one thing pull you down and probably I'll sound bitter but you should consider seeking therapist before things gets worse.
Also as a friendly opinion never let "I'm virgin at 24" thoughts pull you down it will just makes things worse for you and only you.
Damn, what a ride his post history is. He basically sees no meaning to live other than to have sex. No sex = not worth living. Wow. I cannot fathom that line of thinking, but well, it's his life.
Yes, because I believe no one should be rejected from entry level positions due to lack of experience
If only employers thought the way you do. These days you need 3 years of experience to push a fucking cash register.
If I’m attracted to someone, I’ll give it a shot
My partner had never had sex before me and tbh even his first time, he was better in bed than some other people I'd slept with who had sex several times a week.... and he's only gotten better with time 😁
Yes, why? Because i am a virgin that has never been in a relationship either so why would i judge someone for being in the same boat as me.
Well, if this thread has taught me one thing is that I'm not telling anyone about my sexual inexperience when I start dating. I'm in my thirties and never had sex. I have had a lot going on in my life. I was always busy taking care of my health or the health of those I loved. I never lacked attention from the opposite sex and I'm actually fairly good at the first stages of a budding romance. I just never got past the first steps because at first I felt like I still had some things to figure out while later in life, I didn't feel comfortable due to my inexperience.
Lately, I've been looking to start dating because my health issues are starting to wane and I have too much love to just keep it to myself, my family or friends. I'd also love kids at some point in life, my own or adopted. It's not easy to be confident in who you are when you feel judged by society for your life choices and your life path until this point. Still, I try to be and I'm sure that I'll find someone once I put in the effort. I won't tell them beforehand about my sexual inexperience though, that much is obvious after reading this thread.
I hate how so many people think that you can't be emotionally mature or that there's something wrong with you if you haven't had sex at a certain age. Honestly, fuck off. I wouldn't want to date those people either. I'm looking for someone kind and open-minded anyway. Someone who is open and understanding to the path I have walked thus-far. Don't let these people stop you either, my friend is an amazing and decent looking guy. He was very shy and worked hard to put himself out there. He got his first girlfriend when he turned 30 and they make an awesome couple.
You just have to put in some work and you'll find someone willing to give you a chance.
Well said! I dealt with chronic illness throughout most of my 20s and 30s and as a result, didn’t date much. Doesn’t mean I’m going to be a horrible partner, I would hope…but I don’t ever intend to be honest about how much experience I’ve had. Dealing with all of this alone has already been awful. I don’t need it to continue to negatively affect my relationship prospects.
> I'm not telling anyone about my sexual inexperience when I start dating.
That's probably not a bad idea. I would find talking about your sexual history on the first couple of dates pretty off-putting regardless of what it is.
I never bring this up, because I don't really care, but every girl I've dated have asked me pretty early on in dating. I've dated girls who slept with hundreds of people and I've dated girls who slept with very few or none. I've come to find that it really doesn't matter. Some people mature fine without relationships and some people never mature at all. My girlfriend right now is pretty inexperienced, but also the best and most selfless lover I've had so far because she actually listens to me and we are just a good fit. She's 6 years younger than me and I was worried about starting to date a 20 year old, but she's more mature than the 35 year old I once dated and my conclusion is that age and experience just doesn't matter that much.
That is usually the last thing on my mind when I want to interact with someone. However, I am getting up there in years so, age is a concern. It's amazing how anybody under 25 looks 12 to me now and how "12" has never been so alien to me.
Asking a bunch of redditors as if they aren’t virgins themselves
Yeah sure. I care about the personality
I am not a young person. In fact, I am quite OLD (46). I would not date a 46 year old with no experience, but if I were in my 20's (or possibly even early 30's) I might.
I'm around the same age, and while it wouldn't be a hard no for me, I would definitely have a lot more reservations about the relationship going forward than I otherwise would. It's not so much the lack of experience, it's that someone in their 40s with absolutely no experience doesn't exist in a vacuum. Whether the majority of the people in this thread wants to admit it or not, that person is going to have some issues. Maybe they are issues I would willing to work through with them, maybe not. It would be a case by case basis. But guiding someone in their 40s through their first relationship is definitely not something I would jump into without some serious reservations.
It is well known that relationships are benefitted from both members having things in common
So people are really shy, I know 2 people over 25 years old with no experience that would love to get one chance at least...
I feel like I'm the only person in this thread who is leaning towards no. I mean, I wouldn't shoot them down before getting to know them just on that, but for the most part I'm not sure I could see that working out. Just on the romantic aspect, I've wasted a lot of time teaching some men how to be a caring, decent boyfriend and honestly it really wears you down, and runs the risk of co-dependency.
I just found it hard to believe how far I had to scroll to reach a no.
Keep in mind that Reddit has a much larger than average population of 24 year old virgins.
Yes, because I was the person with no experience past the ~socially acceptable~ age. I didn’t have my first real date until I was 23. I didn’t have sex until I was 26. If my first couple partners hadn’t been willing to take a chance, well, I’d now be a 30 yo virgin.
However, having seen some of your comments, OP, I really don’t think your problem is lack of experience.
Your problem is lack of confidence. If you’ve convinced yourself that you’re completely undesirable and no one will ever want to date you, you’re going to project that in your interactions with people, whether you mean to or not. There’s nothing attractive or appealing about trying to get to know someone who can’t stop talking about how disgusting and pitiable they are. I used to be that way. I believed I was too fat, too ugly, too awkward, and it showed. There’s a reason it took me 3 years to go from “first ever date” to “losing the v-card”.
I had to learn to be confident on my own, or at least pretend to be confident. Do I still sometimes wonder WHY people find me attractive when I’m fat, and loud, and impulsive? Sure I do. But I don’t SAY that. Instead I take that flattering angled selfie that shows off the cleavage, I say in my dating profile what my body type is WITHOUT being self-deprecating about it, and I put every ounce of self-confidence that I WISH I actually had into my self-description. I’ve even had friends tell me things they like about me, or find attractive about me to add to my profile if I’m not feeling especially kind to myself while updating it.
You have to fake it til you make it, OP. It gets easier the more you do it, trust me.
Nah I’m too fucked up to be someone’s first love
I’m 63, so no, probably not
Yes because I too have 0 of those
Well it depends. Do you mean they’ve just never DONE anything before? Or that they literally have 0 experience with the subject at all? As in they don’t know sex ed, don’t know the names of body parts, don’t know what STDs are, etc. because if it’s that extreme then yeah it’d probably be a no
No they have knowledge, just literally 0 experience dating or with sex
Personally not at this stage in my life because I’ve had a lot of experience and I’d want someone on the same page