What made you straight up "nope" out of a relationship?
By - MistaPwickles
How about things that should have been red flags but I was too naive to recognize?
-left notes on my car windshield when I was at work/a friend’s house/the store (seemed sweet, but I realized later that was my SO keeping tabs on me, even when I didn’t say where I was).
-let me know how much a hit man cost and that it was “cheaper than you’d expect”.
-would tell me something, and then later say that was a lie or a test, as though I should have figured that out instead of expecting the truth.
-expected me to answer every call, and would get angry if I wanted to end the call first.
-complained about my friends and family all the time. All of them. Apparently everyone I knew was manipulative and/or rude. I didn’t figure out this was an attempt to isolate me until after we broke up.
He had already shown very jealous tendencies and had smacked me over the head because he thought I was looking at a guy so it wasn't good already.
We were outside of his friends house and his friend asked how I was doing and he got mad at me for answering. I just got in my car and drove away.
When he didn't want to have sex because he was grossed out by my period that I had finished *three days prior.*
Noped out of that one real quick.
I kept having to call the cops to calm down my wife after she became addicted to a slew of prescription drugs. I told her doctors that opiates for a a ruptured vertebrae, stimulants for ADHD, Ambien most nights to help her sleep and an assortment of others for anxiety and depression, and more to combat side-effects, made her violent.
One of the times that I called the cops to calm the situation down during a bad episode just made me cry. All he had to say was that he had already been there, and asked when it would stop.
I thought I’d been holding things together reasonably well. I had an office job where no one knew what was up, though my work had suffered greatly. I kept clothes and food in my trunk, just in case I had to stay out for a bit because she had decided I was part of ‘the conspiracy’. I had a gym on the way to work I could where I could shower or just have some down time. I did all of our housework and errands, because she couldn’t work or do much of anything most of the time. Each time she cut herself she told the hospital it was an accident, and she always tried to go to a different one(we lived in a major metro, between hospitals).
The cop saw through it. Being seen like that and knowing that even that lifestyle was running out hurt. I’m now recovering from the divorce and enjoying the calm. I still sometimes panic for no reason, and I feel more comfortable with clothes and food stashed in the trunk, but I feel much healthier. I get more sleep. My blood pressure has normalized(for the most part). I don’t cry at work anymore.
I've been there 7 years with a former Iraq medic with bipolar type two. It hurt because I loved the person inside the shit so much. But the shit was just to deep. I tried to help he would sabotage the help. I eventually found out he lied to theripist for 5 years Making up a entire different childhood school life ect so it looked like he was working on issues without facing the real ones.
I left after he asked for gas money and it offered to go fill up the tank ( relapsed heroin addict) and kept threatening to kill himself.
He stalked me for two months.
Then moved on for a few months then killed himself
It was so hard not to blame it on myself. But I did everything I could for them at some point they had to try too.
Hugs if you need to vent.
He slapped me. I bounced tf out.
I received a message that clearly wasn't meant for me. We just had our first date which went really well.
Calling me cheap and a slimeball and how I'm on my last last chance to make things right on her cominging birthday with lots of presents.
I replied "hi this is X, we just met and had one date, was that message for somone else?
She replied pretending to be her 12 year old sister. Then apparently her dad messaged me with how he's told off his younger daughter.
I'm out, fuck that shit 🤣
This one is hilarious. Should have said something like "What kind of a father shares accounts of their discipline with a guy who dated their daughter once? I need to speak with your mother, please put her on immediately."
And then see how big you could make the cast of family members supporting her attempt to get another date and a nice birthday present.
Wouldn't really call it a relationship as it was only 3 dates, but I had met this girl at a wedding. She was a friend of a friend and we shared numbers that night. Texted for a while and then had a date. 1st date was probably a big red flag, but I shrugged it off. We had connected on Facebook and she noticed that she went to college with a girl I went to high school with. No big deal, until I found out she had been messaging that girl and asking her all these questions about me in high school... who did I date, what car I drove, etc. Anyway, third date rolls around I wasn't really sure how long we would be together so typically I wouldn't have taken her to a really nice restaurant so early in a relationship, but I was in the mood for steak so I took her to a pretty high end steakhouse.
I have never been more embarrassed by someone's behavior in public in my life, and I have a 6 and 3 year old at home now. She sent 3 martinis back because they weren't made correctly while being extremely insulting and rude about it. She ordered a steak medium and then got pissed because she insisted she ordered it medium rare. Both the waiter and I told her she had ordered medium. She was making comments about what other women in the restaurant were wearing, and not very subtly. Then, despite me trying to get out of there without buy her desert, she got a desert menu and expected them to make her something that they didn't have on the menu. They had cheesecake and she wanted chocolate cheesecake. Another outburst at the staff. On the way out the door she made a point to stop and complain to someone loud enough other customers could hear. When we got into my car I was so embarrassed I pretended I had left my credit card on the table so I could go back in. I gave the waiter an extra $20 and apologized, telling him I was dumping her as soon as I got to her place. He laughed and told me he wished he could see it. I didn't really give her a chance to say much. She called me a loser and stormed off. Havent seen or heard from her since.
My god, doesn’t she realize it takes like 8 hours to make a chocolate cheesecake?
I mean all of this is horrible, but the cheesecake is just a full on impossibility.
Met a girl on tinder, we went for a coffee date. Shared some of the same music tastes. She lets me know that one of them is playing at a local club on Friday. I suggest we go together and do dinner before.
Friday comes, we do a late sushi dinner and head to this club around 10 for the show. Headliner, who we wanted to see, went on around midnight. Get to the club, finally get to the bar and order drinks then head to the dance floor. She pounds the drink and says she is getting another drink. She comes back few min later with a new drink gives me a kiss on the cheek and wanders off on the dance floor. I am not someone who is overly possessive and figure my wanting to be in the back to get a full visual and auditory experience is not her jam. All good. 20 min later I see her grinding on some dude. Now mentally, I am already back at my car but I want to see what happens when she makes eye contact with me. They start making out and the guy notices me eyeballing them. She wanders off to get another drink and he comes up to me asking if I have a problem. I explain the situation and he says something to the extent of "Sucks bro, she is with me now. Fuck off." Took his advice and did.
Called up a friend and went to his house and played Catan till 2ish. Then my phone rings. It's 230a and she is calling me asking where I went, my car was missing from the parking lot. I told her I went home and she was on her own to find a ride. "I bet that guy you were making out with could give you a ride" to which she responded with "which one" (we kissed once, made out zero times). I laughed , hung up, and rolled for more bricks.
Damn bro wish I had friends to play Catan with.
One day he casually told me he has a wife and 2 daughters but was unhappy and his wife never suspects anything. Stalked me for 2 months to change my mind. Crazy guy.
He introduced me to his beanie baby collection. On the third date. I wasn’t too bothered until I made the motion to leave and he asked me to hug, kiss, tuck in, and address each one by name before I left. There had to be at least 30.
I told her I was going to leave her, and she said “so you’re going to leave me—just like you left your brother?”
My twin brother committed suicide in 2017, and she knew how much guilt I had over not being there for him. Such a manipulative, disgusting thing for any person to say. Especially someone who claims to “love” you.
I moved out two days later.
Man, no one should have to go through such a thing. Glad that you got out of that relationship.
We were 5 days into a relationship and work was going to have me move "somewhere" and I said we should do long distance for a while. She wasn't particularly fond of that idea and told me she would just drop her PhD program to move wherever with me. After 5 days...
I came home from temporary duty a day early to surprise her and found the neighbor in bed with her. We were married for 6 weeks at that point.
He wanted me to grow out my pit and leg hair and texted, called, and emailed me repeatedly about it. It seemed like a pretty silly thing and he just had a little fetish but after several days of this my sister said, "Why do you always attract the controlling freaks?" and I finally had a moment of clarity.
With someone who has very fast hair growth, this almost seems like a godsend - but they seemed pretty obsessed about it...
She threatened to stab me.
We were dating for a month
You rolled a 6. Successful evade
He was working and then had enough money to move out but he told me he would stay with his mother forever because she cooks and do the chores for him.
Genuinely feared for my safety. I went over and we got in an argument so I slept on the floor essentially. I went to the bathroom to text one of my buddies to come pick me up since I thought she had fallen asleep. I suddenly get a text from her saying "Where are you?" and my phone made a sound. I froze up and opened the bathroom door and she was already standing there waiting for me in the darkness. She didn't say a word at all, just stared at me until I walked by.
I went back to my spot on the floor and got under the blanket and pretended to be going asleep until she did. After about 30 minutes I decided to peek out from under the covers and...She was literally towering over me in total darkness with her eyes wide open the entire time. I got the fuck out of there so fast
Jesus Christ, it's like a sleep paralysis demon but real.
By far the most terrifying answer
I had a very long and toxic relationship with an ex. I had wanted to leave for years, but he would threaten to kill himself and I would end up staying.
I finally got the courage to walk away when I was diagnosed with several benign liver tumors and was told by the doctor that it was very important with this type of tumor to immediately and permanently stop taking hormonal birth control. I researched it on my own and confirmed the single most important thing I could do to avoid further complications was to stop taking hormonal birth control for good.
I told my (then husband) about the appointment and he said, so calmly "Well that's going to be a problem."
I was like, what do you mean? I'll go to the gyno as soon as I can get an appointment and we can just use condoms until then.
Nope. Condoms were unacceptable because we were married. And not having sex until I got to the gyno was also unacceptable.
What really made my blood run cold though, was when he suggested that I should continue to take birth control as normal and just not tell the doctor. "He'll never know," he said. Then he went on to suggest maybe I could go on and off birth control so I'd be off of it before any follow up appointments with this doctor, to ensure that he'd never know.
I was totally stunned and I just looked at him and said "You understand this could kill me? This isn't about placating a doctor, this is about my life."
He just shrugged and said he wasn't using condoms and I needed to "figure it out."
I did figure it out. I left him more than a decade ago and have never been happier.
Christ this gave me flashbacks to my ex. We used condoms for the first six months of our relationship. I then went on hormonal birth control and we were both excited about ditching the rubber. The doctor told me to wait 48 hours for the birth control to take effect before taking condoms out of our equation. You would think this would be easy, right? We've done condoms for six months; what's another two days? Nope. Not for my ex. He lost his shit when I told him. He started screaming at me about how it wasn't fair and that the birth control was probably more trouble than it was worth. Then he tried to convince me to ignore the doc's instructions because he heard that medicine metabolizes in the body after only a few hours.
He did the exact same thing when I contracted strep throat from my roommate and had to go on antibiotics for 10 days. Doctor said antibiotics interfere with hormonal birth control and so we needed to not ride bareback until I'd finished them. He tried to pressure me into stopping the treatment early when my symptoms went away. You know, the exact thing that doctors stress you absolutely *shouldn't* do when on antibiotics? Yeah.
I wish I could say I noped out of that relationship then but... well, I was younger and a lot less wise back then.
"I'll kill myself if you leave but I don't care if you die"
Anyone using this type manipulation never actually cared about that person. It was just about themselves.
Holy shit, what a wang.
Glad you got out!
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that guy. Straight to hell. I’m mad that I read this.
She picked me because I had the same first name, general appearance, and lived in the same area of the state as her ex fiance, of two years, that she had just been dumped by a month before we met. I felt even more offended about all of that than just being straight up rejected.
Next level rebound
I’ve unintentionally dated 4 guys from the same zip code & elementary school. I am not from that zip code. I did not meet these men at that zip code, two I met in two other separate states 5+ hours away. All 4 were different ages, only 2 knew each other.
3 had the same first name, and 2 had the same middle name.
This happened over the course of about 7 years. Still wierds me out.
That pond is just doing so well in producing your favorite type of fish and sending them your way.
Kind of romantic that the pond cares that much for her to produce fish just for her.
“What kind of 22 year old spends their only day off playing video games?”
Uhhh, a 22 year old chef who’s working three jobs and has finally coordinated an actual day off between the three of them.
Married for six years. Started out thinking she just struggled with depression and anxiety sometimes, but things kept escalating. I walked away when she started threatening to stab me in my sleep. We had already tried several couples therapists and individual therapists, but she refused to consider medication. I called her to meet up and try to find some closure, but she cut me off telling me I wasn't allowed to leave her and as punishment she was sleeping with two other guys. At that point I just ignored her number and filed for divorce. Hope she's doing well, but glad to not be afraid for my life!
Not wanting to be stabbed in your sleep = reasonable boundary. Good decision.
My brother came to visit me. After I spend whole day with my gf, it was time to see my brother because we did not see each other for a long time. We prepared some snacks and about to start lotr because both of us love lotr. She called me and started a long conversation on phone. I said my brother waits for me and she said that I cannot spend my time with anyone because it belongs to her. It was last talk between two of us.
"Its either me or *random family member*"Been there.
"it's either me or lord of the-" *puts phone down*
She should’ve kept her forked tongue behind her teeth.
I did not pass through fire and death to bandy words with a witless worm!
We had been together for quite a while (6-8 months) and lived together for at least 2 months when I decided to make tuna salad. I asked how he liked it. He told me. I came back with two bowls, half the can made his way, and half the can made the way I liked it. He completely freaked out. He said “if we can’t agree on how to eat tuna, how will this ever work?!”. I said that we don’t have to agree - we can both have it exactly the way we want and be happy. He vehemently disagreed. I started thinking of all of his other controlling behavior and inability to compromise. It wasn’t that day that we broke up, but it was definitely the day our relationship broke. The cheating didn’t help either.
When my now ex wife came in to the living room where I was sleeping on the couch after a fight and started lunging at me.
She asked me if she reminded me of my stepdad who used to come in my room at night and stand over me before he dragged me out of bed by my ankles. He would then put the boots to me for whatever sins I had committed that day.
She was the only person I had ever shared this with. She went out of town for work 2 days later and when she came home I was gone and in another state. It was remarkable the amount of abuse I put up with to that point. It dawned on me then that if he had returned to my life I wouldn’t let him hurt me so there was no reason to let her abuse me either.
*Edited to add: Thank you for all the kind words and support, especially the support given to others who shared their similar stories.
Peace, happiness and love to you all.
I come from a molested/abusive background myself and a friend, whom I had confided in about it, told me he liked "broken girls" because they "were easier to get and train to what I like." Then started hitting on me.
Yeah.... we're not friends anymore.
That is so sad. I am sorry he betrayed your trust.
He put a gun in my face and threatened to kill me. Noped right out even though we had been married for years and had kids. I wasn’t going to be around for the day he actually pulled the trigger.
That is so fucked up holy shit. Was this out of nowhere, where there other signs before this??
When she accused me of ignoring her while I was at a funeral
It was already on the rocks from roughly around the time the millionth drunken argument happened, however the moment that sealed it was when she said something to me along the lines of "if your dad wanted to be alive he would still be here"
My dad died in a car accident 3 years before that. Immediately went from loving her enough to make it work to thinking she was the most vile person on Earth.
She kept waking me up over and over all night trying to have an argument with me.
The argument was about me going to sleep.
My brother took a girl to a high end sushi place and his date ordered 3x the food as he did (he just got a grilled salmon). She ate almost none of it and at the end she said she ordered all the extras so she could “take some home for tomorrow”. When the waiter showed up for the bill she excused herself to go to the bathroom. The waiter asked my brother if he wanted to split the check and at that point my brother did the right thing and stuck her with $100 worth of sushi and booze.
The girl returned to see a huge check at her seat.
The true hero here was the waiter. He probably sensed what had happened and came to the rescue.
We went to the mall and stopped by this little kiosk selling cookies. I decided that I would get one cookie. The lady working there said if I buy 2 I get one free. I decided to buy two and get the third one free. My date WENT OFF on this lady saying she's trying to scam me etc etc. He was legit yelling so loud that it was echoing through the mall. It was so embarrassing. If you're rude to people in customer service, you're not for me.
Giving you one free because you bought one more is..... scamming you?
She taped photos of her ultra sounds of a child she lost custody of with masking tape around my apartment on her first visit to my apartment.
Bro wtf? Not even pictures of the child? Just the ultra sounds?
Told everybody she knew about any little disagreement. Anytime I could be perceived unreasonable it was everyone’s business. But somehow the surprises, special dates, lending her cousin rent money, all of that wasn’t brought up. Just negative stuff was public knowledge.
This was my ex-husband to a tee. He would pubicly humiliate me at every opportunity if I made a mistake or cost us money. But the fact that my parents bailed him out of every financial disaster he got into or that I worked 3 jobs while going to school and raising our kids while he pissed money away on a "business" wasn't up for discussion. Then when I stopped being a doormat for him, he asked me for a divorce. One year later and I don't have to worry about how I'm going to pay the bills, graduated, and have a nice house. I feel like a yoke was lifted from my shoulders.
Don't you just love when the trash takes itself out?
When she game home drunk one night, asking me if my brother had told me.
"Told me what?"
Her: that I cheated on you with him?
Edit: my brother cheated on his Gf with my Gf.
Just to make everything even more fucked up
Edit2: no, this all happened a month before she came home, drunk, and told me. Wich was autumn 2019
Edit3: No, I didnt sleep with his ex-gf.
And no, I didnt punch him or anyone. The only thing I did punch was my ex's concrete Wall.
I was going through some stuff in my early twenties and was pretty desperate for any kind of affection, which is the only reason I took a couple weeks to back out of this...
The second time I ever met her, she told me to delete every girl's number from my phone (sister included). She then came over to my place, saw I had a full bookshelf and ridiculed me for being a reader, and in the same breath announced that she loved cocaine so much and wanted me to try it.
Finally, I escaped, but by then she was already sleeping with two of my friends (who are obviously no longer my friends).
The good news is, I've now been happily married for five years and consider myself so incredibly lucky.
She ridiculed you for reading and then tried to get you to try coke in the same convo? This sounds like a really cheesy PSA. "Ditch the books, square. Here, try this super cool nose candy instead..."
Hilarious. Glad you didn't cave!
Wait, she was sleeping with two of your friends within a couple weeks of dating her!?
Sounds like some pretty shitty “friends”
This entire thread makes me feel like such a mentally stable adult.
He canceled my order meal while I went to the bathroom because he thought I ordered too much. It was just small extra dumpling.
I would legitimately be heartbroken if someone cancelled my food
She wanted our relationship to be exclusive but secret.
This was my ex. Never told anyone she had a boyfriend. 6 years and she dumps me through text and immediately gets with another guy. Calls me crying that her new boyfriend won't let her have any guy friends. When I miss her, I just think of this.
Oh boy thanks for the flashbacks. My ex was in the closet so in the 2 years we were together (i know, way longer than it should've lasted) i never met his family, most of his friends, he never met mine, we only hanged in my apartment, never oficially dated because he wanted me to have a 6 pack first and even when he came out of the closet never mention me to his family, broke up with me with a facebook chat and then will still try to be with me and get mad if I was with someone else.
I'm sorry, I cracked up at "wanted me to have a 6 pack first".
Glad you're out of there
At first, I didn’t understand what beer had to do with dating, then my brain yelled at me for being so clueless.
He told me I was stupid for “believing in dinosaurs” 🤯
Followed me to a night out, got on his knees stopping traffic in the middle of a city centre street to declare his love.
We had been on two dates. He also told me that same night he could see into the future and already knew he was going to die defending my honour while I was carrying our twins.
Yeah... he was fun
Holy mother of flashbacks. Dated a guy who genuinely thought he was an anime character, a "demon from hell who redeemed himself and fought other demons by night to lead a demonic revolution for the greater good" (his words). He had a shrine of himself with a sword he had have made "by a Nepalese monk", made anime noises when he hurt himself, tried to start a gang who would fight in his name, pretended his real name was Japanese and re-invented a whole part of his life. He'd "transform" every time he'd smell my period blood and refused to get a real job (at 26) because his "other job" was too much pressure already. He broke up with me (I know) saying he was dark and I was light and it could never work because it would end up destroying us both and potentially the world.
Edit : forgot to mention he was calling himself the Shadow Slayer. With capitals.
Edit 2: oh and he also thought he could control the thunder.
Edit 3 : since I'm getting a little tired of victim shaming jerks who tell me "this situation says more about me than it does about him" (does it tho) and ask me why I dated him in the first place, I'll answer here for everyone : **he wasn't like this at first**, I was just 18 and the day you get in a relationship with someone older, bigger, stronger and who does irrational scary shit, you'll realize you don't always think straight or do what must be done. I am not proud of having dated him but it was nearly 10 years ago and what's done is done.
That said, thanks to everyone else for the rewards, laughs and discussions.
I'm probably going to regret this but, what did he "transform" into when he smelled blood?
You will regret. He basically just screamed "BLOOD I CAN SMELL THE BLOOD", rolled on the floor, made demon grunts and scratched my body with his "claws". In the middle of intercourse. Fun times.
You did not mention if this killed the mood or not.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it did, in fact, kill the mood.
This has got to be an anime plot.
Narrator: *Boyfriend-san had the power of god and friendship on his side confessing his undying love to* u/whatsername235 !
I realised she didn’t brush her teeth. They were actually green. I’m out.
She told me that if she hooked up with a girl it wouldn’t be cheating because she always had wanted to do it. I already learned this lesson in the past. If someone tells you they are going to do something you should believe them.
I was dating a woman who was previously married and her and her ex had a two year old child together.
One night, she tells me of this plan to coach her daughter to claim this guy had molested her because she wanted full custody and didn’t want this guy around anymore.
I decided right then to bounce right the fuck out of that relationship.
***Edit to bring closure***
Yes, I did call and tell the father of her plan. As far as I know, she never actually went through with it but she did attempt to have drugs planted on him. Not sure how that eventually turned out. I had been dating her for a year but after that conversation, I ghosted her. Just straight up cut all contact.
As a family law attorney, I have to say that this is depressingly common. The amount of stories I have of one parent making knowingly false and horrible accusations against the other for purposes of trying to secure custody could fill a book.
The one I am most reminded of by your comment happened a few years back. I represented a mom who had primary custody of her kid. The dad had the kid on alternating weekends, IIRC. Anyway, the dad got mad when my client, who had divorced him 3 years prior, started dating a new guy. A few months into their relationship, my client, her boyfriend and the child were woken up by the police pounding on their door in the middle of the night. The cops detained and interrogated the boyfriend, while a social worker interviewed the child. Apparently, the police had received an anonymous report that the boyfriend had been molesting the child.
It was clear within minutes to both the police and social worker that the report was false. The boyfriend had never once even been alone with the child, let alone abused them in any way. My client was 100% positive her ex-husband had made the allegation to the police, and further interviews with the child by social workers and therapists made clear that the dad, seemingly upset about the mom moving on with her life, had sat the child down and started asking them fucked up questions about the mom's new boyfriend doing sexual things to them. When the child didn't answer the way the dad wanted them to, he screamed at and berated the child, and went so far as to withhold food. Still, the child, who had a good relationship with the boyfriend, (thankfully) refused to repeat the dad's lies about him.
We presented testimony from the social workers in court, and the judge tore the dad a new one. He went from having around 25% custody of his kid to getting 2 hours of professionally supervised visitation per month.
My dad did something similar to us, but unfortunately we were so scared of him and manipulated at this point that we parroted everything. He kidnapped us for 2 weeks, made us spend entire days at the hospital getting test after test and report after report from us about my mom and step dad abusing us.
My step dad had to pay thousands of dollars to get a lawyer to even look at the case over christmas break and we weren't allowed contact with them at all. He wasnt allowed at our house when we finally got back and didnt get to watch us open all the christmas presents he got us that year.
I found our later it wasnt even wanting custody of us he wanted. He just wanted us for the tax breaks. Every time we were over after this he just threw us outside and locked us out for 8-12 hours at a time
She came to stay for the first time. It was the night before new years eve and we were planning to go out drinking for new years eve. I had just worked a 12 hour shift, carpet fitter so manual labor so I was exhausted. She had a few drinks and started to get aggressive because I wanted to just relax that night but she wanted to go out drinking.
We broke up 3 days later. My father was an aggressive drunk when I was a kid so I could see how it would go... If you know you're an aggressive drunk, get off the drink man.
I always say the same thing. I almost never drink (maybe once every 2 or 3months) but I know that if I am angry about something, I just don't drink because I will be a dick to whomever I am with.
He didn't have a car so I'd help him with rides to work. He worked 3rd shift at toys r us stocking shelves. I picked him up one night and he was so drunk he could barely stand. I made some comment about how he isn't going to be able to work. He started throwing shit at me in the parking lot, I threw his shit on the ground and left him there. (I've dealt with one too many alcoholics and I wasn't wasting anymore of my time)
Cut to 5 years later he is now sober and getting married this year! So good for him!
Did not expect a wholesome ending in this thread.
Aw I like your reaction at the end! Nice to hear from people that cheer others on!
Fights as foreplay
“You don’t understand how jealous I can get,” she said, tearfully upset that her friend and I went to the same university (3rd largest in the country, no less).
She told me she was on birth control, turns out she thought drinking a lot of mountain dew would make it so she couldn't get pregnant.
I have so many questions
The answer for all of them is "Some people *really are that stupid*."
I had a professor (in NY) who used to teach at a college in Florida and she told us when she began to teach about contraceptives someone asked, completely seriously, why they would need a condom when they could just drink a ton of Mountain Dew to kill their sperm.
Said she realized quickly she needed to start at the VERY beginning.
Mountain Dew can for sure be effective birth control, she was just mistaken about how it works
Showed up late at my place one night because she couldn't sleep at her place alone. I was fine with that until she started talking about the reason why: when she was alone, the demons in the corners and edges of the room would fill the dark spots and watch with their glowing eyes. Urged her continuously to get help, to go to the doctor but she wouldn't do it -- what she was seeing was *real*. I felt terrible leaving her for that but I wasn't equipped to deal with someone who needed professional help and refused it.
Don't feel bad about it. It was a sensible decision. I'm bipolar (lucky enough to have found a successful treatment regime). A friend asked for my advice about a woman, someone who I was a sort of acquaintanted with. He had just recently met her and knew she was also bipolar. He was initially quite taken aback when I told him to not get involved with her. Not because of her mental health status but because she insisted that she could manage it with herbs and crystals and help from her astrologer. I knew that she was clearly cycling between being suicidal and partying and doing drugs for days without sleeping. He luckily saw sense, encouraged her to get professional help, but luckily didn't get more involved.
My wife is bipolar. After our second date she explained it to me and said she wouldn't be upset if I decided not to be in the relationship anymore, because while she had decent meds that didn't mean it wouldn't cause issues from time to time. That amount of personal responsibility and maturity sealed the deal for me, and we've been happy with only a few hiccups here and there.
As someone with bipolar who constantly worries about finding a partner, this is really, really awesome to hear. Happy for both of you!
Being upfront, cards on the table about what's going on and how you're taking care of it is as good an indicator of what being in a relationship with someone will be like as the diagnosis is.
God knows my issues aren't exactly fun to be around but I'm proud of the fact I'm actively working on them :)
When I wasn’t allowed to hang out with my male friends in broad daylight but he thought it was okay to hand out with girls he didn’t know in the middle of the night… was a major red flag
I found a video on my husband's tablet that was from a hidden camera in our bathroom. It showed my 14 year old niece nude. We had just had our 7th anniversary and had a 6 yo of our own. I had kissed him and sent him off to work that morning, thinking I had a wonderful husband. Before he got off work, I had called the police and a restraining order followed, quickly. I arranged for him to move in with his parents before he got off work. He never came home again(good riddance!).
It was like our marriage evaporated. It's been hard to process, but I wouldn't change the way I handled anything. Since then, he has plead guilty to 8 counts related to the production and possession of child pornography. He was sentenced to 40 years, with 34 suspended. He will register as a sex offender for life. He will be on "indefinite supervision" when he gets out. He can't have unsupervised contact with any children, even his own.
It's been traumatic and now I have to figure out the divorce (I put it to the side during the criminal case, we've been legally separated since that day). I have no regrets. My niece got justice and can start to heal. My child and other children are safe from him and he didn't have a chance to escalate.
I’ve been reading this thread for an hour, have to say you win. Thank god you are rid of him (almost) stay strong. Hugs to you and your family.
Came home and he was naked in our bed with a teenager. He was 33.
im a black person. my bestest buddy in the whole wide world is a white person. we were roomies at one point. he brought a date over, i met her, nothing weird. but as it turned out, she a had problem with my bromeo living with a black person (me). he immediately broke it off with her. i dont have many friends, but id like to think i got quality over quantity.
edit: it is sincerely heartwarming to see so many enjoy an anecdote of bromance triumphing over bigotry. this post just may be the leverage i need to convince my bff to join reddit. thank you everyone.
What in the fucking fuck. Bless your bromeo because what in the fuck bye bitch
it threw me off, cause she didnt even know me. i just introduced myself and went back to my room. apparently, my 5 min of being present while black was too much.
Honestly, you did him a favor by just being there. Jesus Christ, some people.
Exactly... how long would he have dated her without that immediate red flag? Saved the dude a lot of time and energy with a racist.
i love the term bromeo im stealing it
Bromeo and Dudiet
Two week after my mother died he asked "is that still bothering you?"
Omg! I had a big crush on this guy at work and my mom was very sick and passed very quickly without much notice. We had only learned she was sick about 6 weeks before she passed. At 69, too young. But anyway yeah when I would talk about how hard it's been he said I was being a buzzkill. Fuck outta here with that.
Not the same situation, but you just reminded me of one reason why I grey rock my parents now. A childhood friend of mine committed suicide while I was away at university. We were both 23 at the time. Her funeral was on a Friday. That Sunday, not 2 days later, I was still feeling pretty down when I skyped my parents for our usual weekly chat.
They couldn't seem to understand that I was *still* down about losing my friend, and kept asking things like "are you *sure* there's nothing else going on [that you're sad about]?". Like no, I'm just sad my friend died, is that not enough for you?!
>I grey rock my parents now
I checked urban dictionary and found a definition, but I'm still not sure I get it. Does it mean that you basically only talk about the weather with them now ?
Edit : Thank you all for providing helpful and detailed explanations on this subject. You make Reddit worth using.
You become as uninteresting as a grey rock. Keep the convo superficial. Yes or no answers. Short factual statements. Show no emotion in your words or in response to theirs. It puts them on an information diet
Similar thing happened to me, my dad died and I didn’t want to go to her house and have dinner with her family not even a week after because I was sad and she said “you’re always going to be sad” and got mad at me for not going
I dated this girl who was jealous, and I mean SUPER jealous. I couldn't hang out with my friends without her constantly calling me (obviously I couldn't do the same, because how could I be jealous, that would've meant I didn't trust her).
That's annoying enough to end a relationship, but it was just the tip of the iceberg. After 9 months, I found out from one of my friends (who also happened to be a close friend of hers) that she had been hiding her sexuality to me (she was actually bi). At first I really didn't get why she did that, because I absolutely have no problem with these things.
Mutual friend then told me that she was going around fucking other chicks. So basically she was hiding her bisexuality so that she could have sex with any girl she wanted to, without me even suspecting anything. Sometimes she even had threesomes with the girls' boyfriends.
When I told her I knew everything, she started telling me that se didn't want me to know because "those other people didn't really matter for her and she didn't love them".
Needless to say, I noped the fuck outta there
I had a somewhat similar experience, but I started dating this girl after knowing her a few months. Everything was cool, relationship was fun, until like a month in when she mentioned her boyfriend.
Turns out, she thought bisexuality meant you get to pick a boyfriend AND a girlfriend at the same time. She'd been with him for a year. I just blocked her 🙃
Well she got married to another dude out of nowhere.
So that was a cool way to find out that I was the other guy
Kinda late, but he had left his phone at my house and got a text while in my possession thanking him for the awesome sex. When I confronted him about it, he tried to hit me. I couldn't call 911 fast enough. He took off before the cops arrived. A few days later, he arrives at my house unannounced and I walked out with a baseball bat. Never saw him again.
Perfect response lol nipped that game quick
She got drunk one night and told her brother that I was abusive (I wasn't). He was a veteran who had ptsd and a short fuse. She thought it was absolutely hilarious.
He was violent when angry...like crazy angry. What did me in was when he sped up on a dark county road and turned off the headlights...we survived and as soon as we got into town I got out of the car and relationship.
Why did he turn off the headlights?
Surprisingly common abuser tactic to scare people, even though it puts them at equal risk of a car crash
Yep. My ex once said he was going to “drive us off the road”. Sometimes they don’t care about hurting themselves. They want to hurt you, their lives be damned.
Holy fuck man. Glad/hope you're okay, that sounds fucking horrifying.
We weren’t in a relationship but I had a developing thing with a guy once, until one day when I wasn’t around he and some other friends of ours went to a bar and he sneakily slipped stronger alcohol into some other girl’s drink there.
This girl apparently was talking a lot with one of our other friends and not showing much attention to him, so he got jealous and threw this friend on the floor and started to strangle him. He was obviously thrown out of the bar after that and later tried to play it off as ‘just a joke’ and ‘just messing around.’ How do you jokingly try to strangle someone anyway???
Anyway I dropped this guy out of my life right after I found out. I definitely wouldn’t want to be stuck with someone like that.
He was jobless and trying to move in with me ASAP while also talking about wanting a joint bank account.
Social media sure has gotten weird af
A lot of people don't see anything wrong with posting their whole lives on social media. They just really don't connect it with privacy or lack-there-of (do you hyphenate that phrase? I just realized I don't actually know.)
The one that really gets me is posting your kids. Even being very private about social media, it didn't occur to me how strange it is that people just... post their children's entire lives all over it. Until someone pointed it out, it just didn't come to mind. Now that I'm aware of how strange it is, it's actually alarming.
It's just weird how insidious social media is.
I had to have a talk with my wife about this exact thing a few years ago, because she was over-the-top with the constant updates to FB of where she was, what she was doing, etc. It came to a head when she posted a series of pics of the entire family packing up their suitcases and loading the car... complete with text stating where we were going **and how long we were going to be out of town** in a public post.
I think I lead off with, "do you want us to get robbed?"
I knew someone smarter than me would roll in with the right answer. Thanks very much!
After our second date, we were hanging out with mutual friends. I was teasing another guy about something very trivial. Guy I had been seeing walks up to me, grabs my wrists and starts screaming in my face to apologize for disrespecting his friend. I left. He called me later, crying and apologizing. Nope. Just nope.
God that's terrifying.
She wanted to get married after the first date
Ted Mosby would have approved
He's 6 minutes in to the date. He's probably already told her he loves her.
>Army junior enlisted have joined the chat.
After our first date she sent me a Google maps pin of my address with just “Haha” as the only context. I hadn’t told her my address then followed it up with asking how my boss was doing by using his first name. I hadn’t mentioned the name of anyone from my work.
That level of stalker made me pull the eject handle real quick.
EDIT: Since this gained some traction to answer the most common question/statements...yes I know that women are more at risk than men so doing a search of someone is common and that info is easy to find.
I was not upset that she did that. What put me off was the weird way to told me she did that, without warning, context or anything. She just started address and name dropping like a villain in a bad movie trying to underhandedly tell the protagonist that she’s on to his secret identity or some shit.
Sounds like a friend of mine. I have quite a secretive history which I intend on keeping secret from others, yet, he somehow found out everything about me which was from my past life which I left behind after moving to a different country. It was an awkward conversation in the group chat after that and I decided to leave the chat and play some video games with my brother. It sucks that people don’t understand boundaries but I mean, there’s nothing we can really do about it other than moving forward
I had a huge crush on her for a while but never had the opportunity to talk to her given our weird work schedules. Then a friend from work sets us up; I was elated. First date goes really really well and we hit it off. We start spending as much time as we can aroind each other, talking on the phone every night, all the special things you do when you're starting a new relationship.
Then she starts coming over more often unannounced. She would say for a couple nights, then a week, then two weeks. I would come home from work and she would be in my house, sometimes drunk. Thing was she had almost been fired for an incident involving alcohol before and was lying to them about her sobriety. She would have a few too many then go off about her family or how i was wasn't taking our two-month relationship "serious enough."
Final straw dropped on Valentine's Day this year. She gets annihilated to the point of not being able to walk on her own. After I refuse her drunk advances she flips out. What followed was a couple hours of her threatening to drive home drunk, sitting outside so the cold weather would freeze her to death, laying in my bed and wailing my name till horse, and alternating between manic laughter and crying. Two days later, once she was sobered up, I told her to kick rocks. We dated for just around 3 months. Quickest turnaround ever for me in a relationship.
Edit: as awesome/horrifying as it would have been to have a horse in my bed, she did not transform.
Her voice became hoarse.
She was an alcoholic.
“Actually, I’m a horse.”
She threw her phone at the wall and stormed out the first time I said no to sex (just wasn't in the mood). I mean, at least it was her own phone, but jesus.
mine just cried on the first date because I wouldn't smash.
I was dating a really cool guy and everything was going great… and then about a month in he started talking baby talk to me and it did not stop.
Uh oh.... Andy sca-wed!
OP should’ve started talking like Elvis .
Fuck this got me legit laughing. The image of how the convo would've gone.
With him knowing the whole time, I did not find out he has was HIV+ until I was diagnosed.
...this one is the worst.
I hope you are managing it well.
I'm sorry to hear that! Isn't it a crime to knowingly have unprotected sex without disclosing their status?
What a shitty thing for him to do.
He wanted me to spend time only with him or my family. He checked my phone and wanted me to have only 5 chats: my mum, my dad, my sibling and him. I could not talk, say hi or hug my male friends and eventually I was not allowed to have them. I wasn’t allowed to meet my girlfriends neither. At some point he took my phone and unfollowed every male in my instagram. He used to come to my place and stay there with me to avoid going out. I dreamt about traveling to Japan but he said no because at that time I really liked one Japanese actor and he was afraid I could meet him and fall for him. Toxic af. I had balls to break up only after two years of relationship. He stalked me a couple of weeks after. Now I value myself lot more and would never ever let someone do something like this.
Edit: wow an award... That’s such a wholesome experience for me. Thank you all for your support and understanding! Please take care of yourself and remember you deserve better!!
She started full on hitting me on day three.
I really wish I had left after the first time my wife punched me. Ended up having a planned child together, she went insane and I ended up with full custody. I'd do it again though, because my daughter is fucking awesome. My wife would punch me in the chest enough to leave bruises and shove me into walls if I got in her way around the house.
Was in denial about how I was being treated, and just knew she was going through a “rough time.” Then while helping her move into a new place, her dad, who I had just met for the first time this weekend goes, “Megan, if you don’t stop being a bitch you’re gonna lose your boyfriend.”
I realized right there in my most John Mulaney internal monologue possible, “hey, yeah... she is being a bitch.” Broke up after her parents left. Met my now wife a few months later. Haven’t stopped smiling since!
Said if I ever cheated on her she would cut my dick off and mail it to me. We were in a relationship for about 2 hours.
She completely stopped showering because “punks don’t shower” and would then put massive amounts of patchouli on herself to the point where I have developed almost a fear of patchouli.
When she rode her “friend’s” dick. I’m still amazed how she acts surprised when I didn’t forgive her
"Don't worry about him, he is like a brother to me"
"I wouldn't have slept with him if you made me feel like I could open up to you more"
Been there and it sucks. She was surprised that a sorry wasn't enough for me to keep dating her
We were out at a bar with friends and a friend of my boyfriend came up and congratulated him for being a soon to be Dad. At first I laughed because I was not pregnant.
Then I saw the panic in his eyes.
I sold the house and both cars and moved to Scotland.
He went to England and came home with jewellery (bijouteries, is that a word in english?) after our second date. Said he also bought engagement rings, but threw those in the ocean (what?). When I said I couldn't accept the gifts he had a big break down on the couch, crying hysterically.
I walked out of the apartment, made sure he didn't follow me and then I ran all the way to the bus. He had been acting a bit strange a couple of times before too.
A few months later I found out this guy had been grooming young girls online for a while and ended up being prosecuted for around 50 cases of rape....
Edit: this happened 20 years ago in Sweden. He was sentenced to 10 years in prison for 56 cases (not occasions) of rape.
Intercontinental ballistic missile dodged right there
Me and the boys on our way to healthy relationship boundaries
What do you mean you don't like it when I stand on your testicles and degrade you?
I was on my phone in bed, she randomly stood up walked off got in her car and went home. I have never been so confused in my life, so I called her up. It was because I was on the phone in bed.
My mom invited my sister and I on a cruise vacation. When I told the guy I was seeing for only about a week he blew up saying I didn't ask his permission and said no one goes on cruises with family, it must be another man. Bye bye dude!
"Not like you're not pretty, but you would be so much more attractive if you looked like [insert my baby sister's name]."
To which I said, "you mean 15 years younger (and a minor), 6', blonde, and a size 2?"
He said it in front of his friends, and everything went dead silent. His best friend punched his arm and told him he was being a dick. I got up and walked out. His sister called later to apologize for him being an asshole, and told me his entire family was pissed at him.
Worst part? He genuinely didn't think he did anything wrong.
Frontal lobe went on full shutdown
Not the same but still involving younger sister: my ex (19, almost 20 at the time) told me that my younger sister was going to be super attractive in a few years. At the time my sister was 7 so idk what his definition of a “few years” is but it’s not enough. At time I had just turned 16 and the comment really helped put into perspective what was really going on.
I just physically gagged at this comment. I'm so sorry. He was a serious douche.
He sucks, but damn he’s surrounded by some decent people
Asked him to stop calling me a fucking bitch every time we had a disagreement. He said "I can't promise that."
Talked to someone for weeks that I met online. We really hit it off. He kept trying to push me into a relationship which was red flag that I ignored. Drove 3 hours to see him and he cornered me in the kitchen and put his hand up my dress within 10 min of me meeting him. I told him to stop, he laughed and did it again. I grabbed my shit and left as he was calling me a whore. Ummmm I think that’s the opposite of that word but ok.
She said she wanted to see my intestines on the first date and hook up in a public park on the playground where kids were playing .
What the actual fuck.
Her father recently got into a brawl with a date's teenage kid. I was concerned and asked questions.
She then explained how the teen had it coming because they didn't know their place. Feeling confused, I asked her to elaborate again.
It turned out that a grown man punched a mentally disabled autistic teen, rather than simply walk away. I told her that I refuse to date people who are cool with domestic violence. She was immediately remorseful, but then defended her father's drunken violent outburst against a child a few moments later.
Do not date people who think that an adult ought to beat mentally disabled children.
Walked to work a couple of days after a one night stand, came home to find 37 voice mails all to the tune of "Where are you, I know you are home I can see your car."
We had only been dating for a few weeks, but it was intense and felt like there was a strong bond. I was away for a week, but I called her every day to see how she was doing. When I got back home, we were both very excited to see each other, so she came over with her dog.
The dog (a pug) had apparently never been in anyone elses' house. Nor had she ever house trained her dog (I later learned that she had a full empty room in her apartment with pee pads all over the floor for the dog). So the dog is sniffing around my dog's bed and just peeing all over it.
At first she was embarrassed, and I was a little bit annoyed, but didn't make a big deal about it. I grabbed a towel and tried to wipe it up. After the third time, I said something like, OK, it's time for [dog's name] to go home. So we left to head back to her place.
Fast forward a few days, and we're at her place. The dog is just being crazy and so hyper. I offer to take him for a walk, and she rejects it. Instead, he goes into the second bedroom to pee on a pee pad. I'm silently judging the situation, but don't say anything.
We go to bed and she talks about the idea of getting the dog neutered. I said I thought it was a good idea because it would mellow him out and maybe help his "marking" instinct. She exploded in anger, saying that she couldn't believe I was so mad about him peeing on my dog's bed, and that I totally overreacted and just laid into me for a solid 15-20 minutes. I realized then that this person was potentially dangerous.
I jumped out of bed, put my clothes on, and headed towards the door. I said I'm sorry that things didn't work out and was about to leave. Her response was, "That's it?!" and then she went back into her room and sulked. I tried to talk to her more, but she continued to yell at me and berate me about the dog and how I was such a shitty person for overreacting. I told her that I really did have to go. I never saw her again.
Not even a relationship, but got very close. Met a guy through a local theater and I thought he was cool, but then he started following me around everywhere when I was at practice/ shows. The last straw was when I didn’t get notified that a practice had been cancelled and he was waiting there, saying ‘I just felt like someone would show up’ and it absolutely raised my alarm bells.
Worst part is, when I tried to get help from the director or other actors they’d ignore me or try to tell me that he’s just trying to be nice, and he can’t help it. I blocked and deleted his number since, and I’m sad to say I haven’t gone back to public theater since, as he’s still actively involved in most plays in town.
That sucks. Sorry they didn't help you.
The moment that "healing crystals" was brought up to cure a family member with autism...
On a first date she was an absolute cunt to a waiter for the most minor thing wrong with her meal (she got potatos instead of fries) and she proceeded to bitch about it all night to me.
It took 2mins to swap it out ffs.
Was repeatedly punched in the face, on our 2 year anniversary, for not proposing. We were 18 years old. This happened on my lunch break after giving her jewelry and a weekend vacation trip. Went back to work, got home and was arrested for domestic violence.
How did it play out?
My husband of 5 years choked his sister and lifted her off the ground by her throat a couple nights ago.. I'm not sticking around to see it happen to me..
ETA - He was drunk and she smacked him because he was being verbally abusive to me and getting in my face. He turned around and tried carrying her up our stairs by her throat. After that happened I was crying, grabbed my purse, and started walking for about 20 minutes before I called mil police. He stayed the night elsewhere and now wants to go to therapy with me. I've been trying to get him to go with me for months and now that this has gone "public" and he could lose his promotion he's finally decided to go with me. I told him I want a divorce yesterday and I'm working on things I gotta do today for that to happen.
Edit 2 - thank you all for the kind words, I'm trying to read through all the comments and reply when I can. For those saying it's fake, my video evidence suggests otherwise. I'm running around today doing what I can to get out and I have a wonderful group of friends and family ready to help. And thank you guys for the awards, they're my first :)
As far as my SIL goes, she's 18 but still lives with her parents for now. She's trying to get out as well but her mother bullied her out of giving a statement to the police and pressing charges. Her mom cares more about my husband's career than her daughters wellbeing. Biggest "NOPE" of my life!
UPDATE - He's frozen my cards and now I have 100 dollars to my name.. I don't think I could hire an attorney if I even wanted to.
She okay? wtf that’s scary
Good for you, because choking significantly increased your chances of being freaking murdered:
>Strack said choking is the most lethal form of domestic violence and has been long overlooked in domestic or sexual violence cases. She said victims who have been choked once are 750 percent more likely to be killed by their abusers, and that choking is considered a strong predictor of homicide.
Used to work as a DV advocate, can confirm