What is your favorite Futurama quote?
By - GorillaS0up
"You see, killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit and shut down. Kif, show them the medal I won."
"Straight out of Sun Tzu's classic text, The Art of War. Or my own masterwork, Zapp Brannigan's Big Book of War."
If it's alive, don't lick it.
"Yup, that's whatever you were talking about for ya"
Somehow reading these quotes out of context is funnier than watching the show. To be clear, I fucking love the show.
“Dear lord! That’s over 150 atmospheres of pressure!”
“How many atmospheres can the ship withstand?”
“Well, it’s a spaceship, so I’d say anywhere between 0 and 1.”
One of those perfect *wait that's funnier the more I think about it* scifi Futurama jokes.
One of my favorites like this is "a thin layer is still stuck to our DNA and Bender's *robo* or "R-NA".
But from that same episode I quote "Fifty-three years old, now I'll need a fake ID to rent ultra-porn" slightly more often.
Fry's opinion on the hypno-toad, mind control show that doesn't work on the exceptionally stupid
"This show has been going downhill since Season 3!"
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
“When do we get the free slurm?”
“That’s not soon enough!”
"Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?"
"Why, those are the Grunka Lunkas! They work here in the Slurm factory."
"Tell them I hate them!"
“Grunka Lunka dunkitty darmed-guards”
“SHUT THE HELL UP”
Asking questions in school is a great way to learn,
If you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke!
Whimmy Wam Wam Wozzle!
Party on, contest winners
I always liked the ones with a bit of actual science behind them.
- no fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!
- “Professor – “Dear lord, we’re under more than 150 atmospheres of pressure!”
Fry – “How many atmospheres can the ship stand?”
Professor – “Well, its a spaceship, so I’d say anywhere between zero and one”
- Mind the Keeler Gap (a gap in Saturn’s rings with a small moon in it)
- Third Third and Third milk
- Bender: [shivering] It's so cold, my processor is running at peak efficiency.
This is what you get when guys with math and science PhDs become the most over‐qualified cartoon producers ever!
“And Fry, you’ve got that brain thing.”
“I already did!”
No I'm doesn't.
I'm having... what's it called.. a headache with pictures
Is the Space Pope reptilian?
Theeeeeeeeeee space pope!
In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humblest of god's creatures. The Tyrannosaurus Rex.
There's a small possibility that one of them just said something about...
**The scary door**
Usually I keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.
That's what I do with my stupid.
“Get a room!”
“We’re in our room”
“Then lose some weight!”
I think John DiMaggio has said this is his favorite Bender line too.
"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."
"You know, I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies."
The quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in.
Asteroids... The icebergs of space, perhaps by Jack knifing from one to the next well get some sort of boost or something.
Now there’s a route with some chest hair!
Kif, if there's one thing I don't need right now it's your "I don't think that's wise" attitude.
"Kiff, fetch me my reading shorts."
Kiff, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
"And Kiff, have the boy lay out my formal shorts."
"The boy sir?"
"You Kiff. You lay out my formal shorts."
"Kiff! Your toilet is set to stun, not kill."
Good news everyone...I have terrible news!
My favorite was always "News, everyone!"
"If you need me, I'll be in the ANGRY dome".
"Now you're probably all wondering why I've gathered you in the accusing parlor..."
Farnsworth to Fry: " oooh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm My Own Grandpa "
I did do the nasty in the past-y.
Verily, and that past nastification is what shields you from the brains. You are the last hope of the universe.
No fair! you changed the outcome by measuring it!
“Don’t you worry about Planet Express, let me worry about blank.”
My only regret is that I have bonitis!
I still use “awesome to the max” because of that episode.
Blank? BLANK?? You're not looking at the big picture!
Sharks don't have necks!
"What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?"
"all I know is my gut says maybe"
"Tell my wife I said, hello"
"If I don't survive, tell my wife hello."
"Live free or don't."
“You’re neutralness, it’s a beige alert”
"I have no strong feelings, one way or the other."
I’m having one of those headaches with pictures.
Do you mean an idea?
Scruffy believes in this company.
Scruffy gonna die, the way scruffy lived.
/licks thumb and turns page
"I'm just a man, and you're just janitorial equipment."
"In another city, we could be anyone we want."
Please go, before i beg you to stay
Boilers and torlets, torlets and boilers. And that one boilin torlet. Fire me iff’n you dare.
I'm so embarrassed I wish everyone else was dead
This is the one I quote the most.
“Compare your lives to mine and kill yourselves!!” Sticks out to me. Probably because he was just a head with money and that’s it when he said it.
Nixon: Hello, Morbo. How's the family?
Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.
Nixon: Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family.
Now listen here you drugged out communists
Nixon: “In our darkest hour we can stand erect, with proud, upthrust bosoms”.
Fry: “Anyone who laughs is a communist”
Computers may be twice as fast as they were in 1973 but your average voter is as drunk and stupid as ever.
The only one who's changed is me. I've become bitter and, let's face it, craaaazy over the years.
And when I'm swept into office I'll sell our children's organs to zoos for meat and I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place!
The warble in his voice when he says crazy is just perfect
I've lost more patients than he's even treated! - Dr. Zoidberg
I have more skill in my little claw than you do in your entire carapace!
“Sir it’s not necessary or wise to be naked”
“Oh foo you sound just like my tennis instructor”
My favorite Farnsworth line is when he’s briefly dating a younger woman:
“Some say I’m robbing the cradle. I say she’s robbing the grave!”
WITH MY LAST BREATH, I CURSE ZOIDBERG!!
- Professor Farnsworth
"Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything"
Leela, you have to get me out of here. It's horrible! Eating scraps, letting my waste drop where I stand like an animal in the zoo.
Animals go on the corner.
The corner! Why didn't I think of that?
“I can explain! You see, it used to be milk, and well...time makes fools of us all.”
DIRTY BOY! DIRTY DIRTY DIRTY!
Ah, she's built like a steakhouse but handles like a Bistro!
Curse you, gravity! You win again!
It is not uncharted, you lost the chart
Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?
It is true what they say. Women are from Omicron Persei 7, men are from Omicron Persei 9.
Perhaps they are saving it for Sweeps Week
It's a Joey heavy episode anyway
You are technically correct, the best kind of correct.
"Don't quote me regulations. I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to revise the color of the book that regulation's in... We kept it grey!"
"This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me." - Bender
Farnsworth : This is the perfect chance for Fry to try out my new anti-pressure pills.
\[opens a bottle and a giant pill falls out\]
Fry : I cant swallow that.
Farnsworth : Well, then good news. It's a suppository.
Dr. Zoidberg : My home! It burned down! How did this happened?
Hermes Conrad : That's a very good question.
Bender : [picking a lit cigar from the ashes] So that's where my cigar was.
Hermes Conrad : That just raises further questions!
This is from the mermaid episode right? When zoidberg has a cute little seashell house?
Had. Had a cute little seashell house.
It burned down.
Look at me! Zoidberg! Homeowner!
"As you know, the key to victory is the element of surprise. SURPRISE!" - 25 Star General Zapp Brannigan
You can’t have your characters say how they feel! That makes me feel angry!
I’ll have a Fuzzy Naval and the girliest drink in the house for the lady.
Two Fuzzy Navels coming right up.
Where's the little umbrella? That's what makes it a scotch on the rocks!
Mix those mixed nuts. I see two almonds touching!
I need something to loosen up. (Gets handed a screwdriver)
You know what the worst part about being a slave is? They make you do all this work, but they never pay you or let you go.
That's the only part about being a slave...
You know what else sucks about slavery? The hours!
Uncle Vladimir: Come Bender, you'll like being dead.
Bender: That's what they said about being alive!
I choose to believe, what I was programmed to believe!
Do a flip!
If I can’t stamp the forms, I’ll stamp the pavement with my flabby body!
Use another method that won’t damage your liver! Other people need it, ya know!
The great brain am winning again!!! I are the greetest!!! And now I am leaving the earth...for no raisin!!!!!!!
Fry: What do you say the three of us grab a six-pack and watch the universe end?
Bender: Hear! Hear! That's basically what I do every day.
"THE VAST EMPTINESS" *shakes can*
"Yeah, yeah I can take a hint"
Edit: I am so fucking happy that my top liked comment is a Futurama quote. It is my favourite show of all time.
“In the year 1 million and a half! Mankind is ruled by a giraffe!”
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!
I never thought I’d die like this, but I always really hoped.
I had snu snu.
"I could fit if I didn't have these damn arms!"
Also "Good news everyone!"
Professor: I’ve finally been able to make those government mandated upgrades you’ve all been suing me about 😂
"I guess if you want children beaten you're going to have to do it yourself"
"Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?"
No, it’s cheaper just to have you die
Did everything just taste purple for a second?
Fry: “I know Big Vinny said he was giving me the kiss of death, but I still think he was gay.”
Leela: “Did he use his tongue?”
Fry: “...a little”
"Why am I all sticky & naked? Did I miss something fun?"
I now present you with the Academy prize, which we confiscated from Dr. Wernstrom after it became apparent that he was a jackass.
We call our cat WERMSTROM just so we can yell at them like the professor
Your music’s bad and you should
HURRAY! Now Zoidberg's the popular one!
"These boys must have hero in their bones, and you, ma'am, must have heroine in your veins."
Leela : I've been a fool. A fully justified, prudent fool.
[touches Fry's hands]
Leela : Aaah! They're so cold!
The Robot Devil : And yet hell is so hot! Ahh ha ha hah!
The Robot Devil : Can I have my hands back now?
Fry : No!
The Robot Devil : You're not nice!
The robot devil is one of the best characters in the series imo
You may have to "metaphorically" make a deal with the "devil." And by "devil," I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically," I mean get your coat.
Uranus?!!, We changed the name of that plant to stop that joke forever!
What did you change it to?
Let me locate it for you
"Give em the clamps, Clamps!"
"Gee, you think? You think that maybe I should use these clamps that I use everyday at every opportunity?!"
Hey we should name him clamps!!
"You can't like, OWN property man!" "I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippy!"
"Sometimes when you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all"
I was God once..
I know. I saw. You were doing well until everyone died.
This is my favorite Futurama quote, without question.
Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket.
Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!
Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing.
That episode's writing was so good.
Glad someone else had this one. That's not just my favorite Futurama quote, but my favorite TV/Movie quote of all time.
Men, you're lucky men. Soon you'll all be fighting for your planet. Many of you will be dying for your planet. A few of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet. They will be the luckiest of all.
“Tell them I hate them”
Fry: Is that a hobbit?
Bender: No, that’s a hobo and a rabbit, but they’re making a hobbit!
I choose to believe what I was programmed to believe!
Bender : Pfft! Bodies are for hookers and fat people!
That just raises further questions!
Fry (emerging from vat of goo): Hey, where's my shoes?
Bender: Hey, check out the palm tree! It only gets sick when I cook brunch! How's that for a coincidence, Professor? With all your precious science!
Four identical castles! Each more identical than the last.
To shreds, you say?
Hermes: "This is coming out of YOUR paycheck!"
Edit: This is the most upvotes I have ever gotten on anything from 4 years of Reddit.
"I'm gonna build my own theme park with blackjack and hookers!"
"You know what- forget the park!"
"-- and the blackjack!"
If anyone needs me, I'll be in the angry dome.
But he just said woo!
No, that was air escaping from the folds of his fat... woo!
I find the most erotic part of a women is the boobies.
The quickest way to a womens heart is through her parents, sleep with them and you're in.
You'd sacrifice this beautiful woman for a moderately attractive ape? You've been smoking some bad granola.
She's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro.
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you take off your pants and dance around a little?
"Oh I'm sorry, I thought you was corn"
“Now I may just be a simple country hyper-chicken, but I know when we’re finger licked.”
"Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse. That's what I always say." "You should say something else." Here's a [link](https://www.reddit.com/r/futurama/comments/hkwzuw/live_fast_die_young_leave_behind_a_pretty_corpse/).
>Bender: Life is about decisions. Make the wrong ones and you'll wind up face down in a pool of your own blood and urine.
>Zoidberg: Still, to have your own pool!
"Im gonna get you soo many lizards"
"Wow, Fry, I've never seen anyone so addicted to Slurm."
"This is nothing. Back in high school, I used to drink 100 cans of cola a week. Right up until my 3rd heart attack."
“Why is there yogurt in this hat?!”
“It used to be milk, but, well time makes fools of us all”
Professor Farnsworth, "That's because Mars is an uninhabitable wasteland, much like Utah."
“Shut up baby, I know it.” I say that to my wife all the time. Drives her nuts
"Bender honey, we love you"
"Shut up baby, I know it!" *Pimp walk*
Tell my wife, hello.
All I know is my gut says maybe
Friends! Help! A guinea pig tricked me!
_Do I preach to you when you're stoned in the gutter? No._
>Like my granny used to say, in her tar-paper shack on Montego Bay, if you want a box hurled into the sun, you've got to do it yourself.
>Joey: They're coming straight toward our proximity. Maybe you should give 'em the clamps, Clamps.
>Clamps: Gee, you think? You think that maybe I should use these clamps that I use every day at every opportunity?
>Don't quote me regulations. I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to revise the color of the book that regulation's in... We kept it grey!
>Lucy Liu robot : I'll always remember you, Fry...
>Lucy Liu robot : \[monotone voice\] MEMORY DELETED.
Yes I picked 4 bite my shiny metal ass
Bender- “You know I was God once.”
God- “Yes I saw that. You were doing a good job until everyone died.”
"I was born in 200 log cabins."
-multiple personality robotic Abraham Lincoln.
No one insults the turtles!
"If you two are done being stupid."
"I had more, but you go ahead."
"Windmills do not work that way! Good night!"
So many opportunities to use this quote in every day situations
"Look at me! I'm Dr. Zoidberg: homeowner!"
You still have Zoidberg. You ALL still have Zoidberg.
You're the kind of guy who visits Jerusalem and doesn't want to see the Sexeteria!
If I poach Fry's lower horn am I any better than this man with his demented foot-lust? Yes, but not by enough.
It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: Rock crushes scissors....but paper covers rock. And scissor cuts paper. Kif, we have a conundrum.
This must be one of those Jefferson Starships I've heard so much about.
Grunka lunka dunkity darmed-guards...
Bender: Shut the hell up!
Tell them I hate them!
“This is the moment you’ve been training for all yesterday afternoon”
"I can't hate what's essentially me, I love me!"
The candle that burns twice as bright, burns half as long... mmmhmmm -Scruffy the Janitor
Fry: isn't there anything else you can tell me?
Orphanarium guy: no, nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
Fry: that's impossible beacuse my time is worthless!
I have small kids and everytime they fall I quoue Zapp 'you win again gravity!'
And this is where I keep various lengths of wire.
Fry, to Bender:
"You've been drinking too much, or too little.
I forget how it works with you."
"It's a miracle! And not one of those bogus everyday miracles, like a sunrise." -Leela