What’s the last thing someone said to you before they died?
By - charcoalritual
My grandma told me she loved me and how I saved her life by buying her that cordless phone (90s) because she was just laying on the bathroom floor, but she carried it with her like I told her and was able to call for help.
She had crocheted a bag for it. She was in the end stages of cancer and I was driving up 4 hours every weekend to stay with her. I'd bought the phone a few weekends before and told her to take it with her. She'd never had a cordless phone so it was a big deal for her. She religiously kept it charged and on her when she got up.
She told me she'd see me that weekend. She died that night.
But she died in a bed, with care around her. Not on the bathroom floor alone.
You did such a fantastic job caring for her and I’m so glad she had you as a grandkid.
Thanks. I tried and I loved that lady.
My wife, not to me, but to our 14yo daughter just as they and my 7yo son entered a store. "Oh , I'm fainting!" Her heart just stopped.
Damn I’m sorry you guys had to go through that.
My mother was at the end stage of Leukemia. I called her to see how she was doing. She was pumped full of morphine and close to the end. She told me she loved me and we hung up the phone. My dad called not too long after and said she was near the end and I needed to get on a flight immediately. I caught the next flight out to see her before she passed away. My uncle picked me up from the airport and informed me she had died while I was on the plane.
God, I cannot imagine how much that must've hurt. So sorry for your loss
"See you tomorrow." My father on the phone. I found him dead in his house the next day. Fell, cracked his head open.
EDIT: It's amazing to see how people are opening up with their own stories and sharing advices and virtual hugs. Thank you, redditors, for turning my comment into a place of comfort.
Oh that’s awful I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
Thank you. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
This is the type of shit people go through and strangers, don’t even realize what a person has endured in life. Treat people right, lots of people have had many traumatic experiences already, or endured a lot of bad events in life.
Edit: thanks for awards, never got any on reddit.
Glad you liked comments content.
I tell you, if anything ever taught me that lessen, it was this experience.
People always assume that others are assholes when they see them misbehave. But how could you even know? People go through tons of fucked up shit all the time. Pay a little respect to strangers. That's all it takes.
"Be a good chap." -My Grandfather
ETA: for those asking, I do try to be good. To be kind and respectful to others, to give what I can when I can, to stop and help when it's needed. I'm by no means perfect, no one is, but striving to be better for others is the best any of us can do, and what he was like right up till the end. He was so loved by the community the church at his funeral had people standing in the wings, and it had a capacity of 1000. He actually was forced to retire as a GP by grandma at like 75, but still snuck out to see patients (he had a practice behind the house with a few doctors)
Yea my grandma told me to “be a good boy look after your brothers and your parents I love you” she held out to talk to me I flew home and talked to her for two minutes then she started to die, I was the last person she talked to. Have had a lot of death in my life mostly all more tragic then my 93 year old chain smoking grandma but I miss her the most.
‘Oh it’s fine, just a bump to the head. I’ll take a painkiller and have a nap. Love you’
My mom died of a brain haemorrhage 5 hours later.
Edit: Thank you for the kindness and awards. I’m really touched. x
This hits close to home. I was home with my mom and little brother when she started feeling unwell. We fought about her going inside to rest. Long story short, we got her to a hospital in time that she eventually recovered from her hemorrhage. That month while she was in the coma I often wondered if our last interaction would be a fight. I’m so sorry your mom didn’t survive hers.
its always the people who expect the least or know what's gonna happen and don't wanna worry others well shit
"Bye [my name]."
It was my big brother, he was in late stage terminal cancer. He passed at home the following night/morning.
My Dad said “I’m gonna pass out, I’m passing out” then died in my arms.
Edit: Wow, thanks for all the comments and the hugs and things. Nice surprise waking up to a hundred comments.
My Dad had a heart attack in our apartment and we were trying to get to a hospital when he collapsed in the parking lot.
Omg that's tough. Hugs my friend.
Holy crap. This one gave me the chills. I'm so sorry.
"I'm fine, don't worry about me."
My grandfather had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and refused all treatment. In his words, "I'm 86 years old, what the hell is the point?" The last time I saw him he looked bad and was clearly in a lot of pain, but he kept insisting that he didn't want anyone making a big fuss over him. He died three days later.
The feel of accepting death wakes a huge dreadful feeling in me. Sorry for your loss.
I just hope that when it gets to be my time, that I do feel acceptance and not extreme regret and dread
My mom pasaed on november. 58yo...
Anyway, during her last days, I inquired about this exact same thing. She didn’t mention that she thought about it when diagnosed with cancer, but I think she went through it during her last months (diagnosed on january 2020).
She said that while she did have this feeling of dissapointment and sadness to see it all ending and not been able to read another book, watch another movie, etc. She felt strong, prepared, happy and not at all afraid. She said that she knew we would see each other again and that while it would take a while for me, in the astronomic scale it would be nothing. Now this is another thing to debate about, but i guess i comfortes her. Also the fact that her dad, grandpa, died just a month before her, and maybe the thought of seeing him again comforted her. Also something she told me, that WE lived together, like, we shared experiences and basically this, that we lived, while not longer, we did enjoy it and i has happened.
She went sleeping and she, as far as i could tell, was happy to see all of the family with her, at her home during that days.
Anyway, point beign. Wheter for one reason or another, I think that somehow we might all be able to find piece within ourselves at the end of this thing we call life.
Edit: thabks for the awards and soecially gold giver, my first time given gold yay!
If this story served anyone, thats more than i could ask.
The last words I had with my late husband before he went in for surgery:
> Me: "Love you"
> Him: "Love you more"
Even though this is the perfect way I could imagine having last words, this one has somehow hurt me the most. I am truly sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss
A man who helped raise me died about two days after I saw him last.
Our final interaction was him telling the most embarrassing story about me to my new girlfriend. Thanks Steve.
It's what he would have wanted to end on
I'd like to think so too.
A true dad till the end.
Oh yeah. It makes me laugh every time I think about it.
Isn’t that love in its own way, though? Teasing each other is absolutely my family’s love language and the things I’ll remember about them when they’re gone are definitely those kinds of stories
It is. My thanks are genuine here. It's a bitter-sweet memory only because of what happened right after.
The last conversation I remember having with my Grandpa before he died he asked me if I was still playing guitar, and I said I was.
My grandpa tells me every time I see him how much it makes him happy that I play.
My grandma used to go on and on about how proud she was that I was a singer. I regret that she didn't live long enough to see me become a professional.
Grandmother said, "Take good care of Missy."
(Missy was her beloved cat.)
Almost the same here. My grandmother was being escorted out by the ambulance workers, and the last thing she said to me was "he needs two types of food!"
Even amid all the fear and uncertainty of being wheeled into that ambulance and everything that came after, at least she didn't have to worry about who was going to feed her cat. <3
Yeah, and we ended up taking care of that spoiled but lovely cat for 5 more years until he passed a month ago.
It feels really good to know we fulfilled our promise to her.
Aww that cat thanks you!! It's so nice when families continue to take care of such an important friend to a loved one after they pass, and the animals are better for it too.
"I'm sorry we didn't talk as much as you wanted..." My grandpa's last words...
As someone who doesn’t talk to their grandparents often, his hit home. I’m sorry
As someone who wishes they’d spoken to their grandparents more this hit home.
My grandpa, on the phone.
"I wish we could've met".
He lived in New Zealand, I live in Australia. I had met him, many times. Tore me up inside that it had been so long since I'd visited him that he'd forgotten me.
It’s not you, I promise. When my grandpa was gradually getting worse dementia, my dad visited him 3-5x a week and talked to him on the phone multiple times a day (usually the same conversation, because grandpa forgot). Even with that, every time dad saw him grandpa would (sometimes gently, sometimes not) chide him for “never coming to see me.”
I think I've posted this before, but one of the hardest moments of my life came when I walked into the ICU after my grandma had a stroke. This woman had my family at her house for my first few years, watched me every day after school and was at every important milestone in my life. She looked at me and had no idea who I was. I'll never forget that and it hurts terribly to think about.
I had a similar thing. My grandma has had dementia for a while now. Being the only grandchild she raised herself, I was one of the very last person in her memory to go.I remember my mother crying while I spoke with my grandmother, knowing that she remembered me but had forgotten her.
About December of 2019 I called her to celebrate my college admission. She didn’t recognize me anymore. She’d basically been reduced to a mumbling mess. It was haunting to watch her on FaceTime as she asked my grandfather where I was; if I was lost and if he’d picked me up from the park. Dementia is a dark, dark disease.
Yeah. I remember in high school my mom needed me to stay with my grandpa one night at his house because my grandma was in the hospital. I thought “no big deal, I have a painting project for class I’ll stay in the kitchen and work on”. My older sister gave me a list of things to say to my grandpa if he was woke up and confused. I didn’t think I’d need it because my grandpa was happy to see me when I got there. All was fine.
It was not fine. At 2 am he emerged to find me and started threatening me that if he had a gun he’d kill me, and where is Rita (my grandma) so I grabbed that list my sister gave me and started repeating everything Word for word. “Rita will be back in the morning. She is ok. I’m your grandson, etc. etc.” he was a totally different person and very agitated. It was freaky and I knew he wasn’t all there so I didn’t take it personally. I probably shouldn’t have been painting on a canvas in his kitchen, that must’ve been confusing for him. Also I don’t think he ever owned a gun so I wasn’t afraid about that or anything.
He was most likely experiencing sundowning, the symptoms of dementia become worse, agitation and aggression can happen. It’s quite shitty.
I don't remember specifically but I was telling my mom about how I was excited to finally move out and be on my own (well my own with roommates) and she gave some sort of no word verbal acknowledgement.
She had a stroke in her sleep later that day.
A family friend said "hot day isn't it?" He died few hours after due to heat stroke.
I can imagine he was feeling much more than a "hot day" when he said that. That's awful. May he rest in peace.
Also just realized your username, "Groundbreaking Sun"
"Alright Klown, talk to you later buddy"
Guy I played CoDUO with for a while, went by the name of Pepper, really good dude. I cant remember when, but it wasnt long after that I got a message from one of the other regulars on that server that Pepper had died. Sent me a link to a news article. Apparently he had confronted some guy early in the morning for riding his dirt bike up and down the street making a lot of noise. The guy and someone else came back later to confront him, they ended up running him over twice, killing him. His nephew came out, just in time to watch the tires go over his head...
He was such a cool guy, I always enjoyed playing and talking with him
RIP Pepper, miss ya man
Tucked in my GF, kissed her good night, told her I loved her amd would see her in the morning, she kissed me back said "love you babe" and she passed that night. I found her in the a.m. when I went to kiss her goodbye before I left for work.
ETA: I am totally floored by the traction this seems to have gotten. First thank you so much for the love, condolences, and stories that you all have shared with me, I am both in awe and honored. Second, I am getting through, one foot in front of the other. Some days are better then others. Thirdly she died from complications from a number of things she had going on. Type 1 Diabetes, Arthritis, Fibro, Congestive heart failure, and reduced kidney function. And it didnt help she spent half of dec, pretty much all of jan, and nearly half of feb in the hospital from complications stemming from breaking her ankle, pneumonia, and an infection in her hardware for the broken ankle. So this wasn't totally out of the blue. But it still sucks.
I've learned it never gets better, you just get used to the idea that they're gone. To some of the younger redditors, Don't be afraid to love, deeply, honestly, openly, it's worth the pain that sometimes comes. When we go the only things we leave behind are the stories people tell and the memories we've made. So, enough of me being maudlin, I'm gonna have another beer or 2 and go to bed.
Happened to me and my boyfriend. He kissed me on the forehead, told me he loved me. He went to take a nap, but I couldn’t wake him up. It was the day after the best Valentine’s Day.
Honestly one of my greatest fears. I’m so sorry
I don't sleep well at night when I don't hear my husband snoring because of this. I always have to check if he's breathing before I fall asleep
I constantly check if my wife is breathing. It’s terrifying to me.
Fuck, the unexpected ones are the worst. I can't imagine. Hope you've found peace.
My husband, trying to get out of the hospice bed, *again,* when he didn’t have the strength to stand. In exhausted frustration I snapped at him, and he laid back down, saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” The last words he ever said to me; he died a few hours later. It haunts me still.
My grandma was in hospice. She just looked up at me and whispered in the smallest, most childlike voice, "I wanna go home." I still hear that to this day.
My grandpa told me I was his favorite grandchild before passing. That caused quite a stir of jealousy afterwards amongst his children and grandchildren. Pretty much ruined the memory...fortunately, not the feeling though.
My friends grandfather died a few years back. He had 6 grandkids and asked to see them all alone and individually told them that they were his favorite and to not tell anyone. He died a couple days later. I thought that it was funny and sweet.
That's so incredibly sweet.
“I want to live. I don’t want to be fed and watered and turned to the sun like some kind of plant.”
Since this blew up - he did die. He was going in for brain surgery and the outcome was questionable. Him saying that made it a lot more possible for me to consent to withdrawing life support when it became necessary.
Oh this is so sad but also sounds like whoever said this was a strong person. I hope they found peace x
As an ICU doctor, thank you for honoring his wishes. The vast majority of my patients are kept alive on machines in a futile manner because their families don’t know how to let go and I have this feeling that almost none of my patients would have wished for themselves the existence forced upon them by their families.
99 year old Grandfather- after recurring mini-heart attacks over a couple of weeks......"tell (wife) I said hello, I will see you later" with his slight grin and a wink.
He knew, I knew....we all knew.
Great guy, and always had a great attitude under any circumstance he faced.
That felt kind of heavy, but also kind of nice.
You all knew. He went out with a grin, and with you by his side.
What a badass.
"I won't leave you, I never will, I love you"
I don't know the context but this is enough to rip my soul to shreds
My grandma calling me by my Indian name and telling me she loves me. She died a week later from ALS.
I am so very sorry. ALS is horrendous.
Yeah, it took less than a year to kill her. She went from not being able to use her left hand all the way to full on not being to hold her head up or move her body.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad she could talk, though. My mom has ALS and is completely locked in. ALS is a hellish disease.
The one that always will stick with me was when I was working on the ambulance, got called to a home during a blizzard for a 35 year old male seizing and foaming at the mouth. Me and my partner and a trainee I had with me go and respond, and while enroute get an update that patient was now conscious and admitted to ingesting poison intentionally. Poison control and medical control call us to advise he admitted to using strychnine, a potent nerve toxin used in the old days for rodent control on farms or industrials sites primarily. We get up to the house and I start talking to him, get an IV established, give him activated charcoal per med control, and he is completely honest with me. He tells me he took it cause he had been fighting depression and anxiety for years and work finally put him over the edge. While his girlfriend was in the shower he mixed it into his drink and chugged it and took some sleeping aids hoping he would pass in his sleep and be less traumatic for his girlfriend, he went to bed like nothing was wrong and his girlfriend came out to find him seizing on the bedroom floor. He grabbed me by the shirt and he said "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I did this to you." He seized again while holding my shirt and began to vomit and aspirate. He went pulseless shortly after and me and the trainee did CPR for 16 minutes, unable to travel in the storm. That is one of many calls that will stay with me forever.
This made me sad. I can't imagine the guilt he was feeling. Even though he was dying, seemingly all he had was guilt about traumatizing people with his death. Shows he thought a lot about it beforehand and that is was a big concern for him. He took a bunch of sleeping meds in an attempt to go 'peacefully' so his girlfriend would find him in a less traumatic way.
It's sad that in his last moments he was more concerned with that than dying.
Thank you for your service.
I have a family member that works in emergency dispatch. One of the worst calls is where a spouse calls in their own suicide while the family is out so that the family doesn’t come in to find them, they then commit suicide while still on the phone. It haunts me and that’s only from hearing about it secondhand.
I'm in EMS, and last year on Father's day (I was already emotionally fragile on that day, story for another time) I responded to a 21 year old who ultimately shot himself in the head in front of his dad.
That's the one that got me, that got me to finally go to the doctor because I didn't sleep for days after, I couldn't even close my eyes without seeing it.
Even starting to talk about it reduced me to sobs....because a few years back, my great uncle who lived in BFE Utah (who we all ADORED) called 911 ahead of time to let them know, then got in his truck, and shot himself in the head with a rifle.
And after the call I mentioned, I'd see my patients scene, but my uncles face, and I...I wasn't okay. The mind is a fucked up, scary place sometimes.
Took me a long time to tell my mom about that last part, because I know she was crushed when he died.
We love you Uncle Mitch. We're pissed as fuck at you for leaving us, but we absolutely love you and miss you every day. Your soul was one of the most beautiful things I've ever known.
On a voicemail: I need to talk to you
“On a coaching course for a week.
How are u guys?”
Last WhatsApp message from my brother. I never responded because I was too busy....
This one kind of hits me harder than most of them here.
Sometimes we just keep living, sometimes we go on weeks or months without catching up and in that time something can happen.
The worst is how sudden it is, no crescendos or legendary send offs with well though words.
You just find out
You’re right, This is basically exactly how it goes in life.
-The last time my dad spoke to me he was telling me to go to bed because it was late (Died of a heart attack at 51)
-One brother I said “see you later” and he nodded at me (died due to MD complications at 26)
-One brother, it was a conversation at another funeral I don’t even remember. He died not too long after that and I just got a phone call at work from one of our brothers. “He died.”
-Childhood friend, looked sick at work. I mentioned it to her and she said that yeah she had a stomach ache or something. We basically each said “see you later this week.” She died the next day, 16 years old.
-Another childhood friend, died at 19 (car accident), I can’t remember when we last talked. The Summer after graduation? We played together every day when we were kids, probably for a decade.
I could go on and on. But that is what death in real life is like. In my experience, it is nothing like the movies. You won’t know when the last time you’re going to talk to someone is. And for years that messed me up because I wanted to leave every conversation with friends and family on some sort of meaningful note, with not arguments or disagreements, just in case. But that isn’t real life, either.
It reminds me of the play, Our Town, and the protagonist who goes back to visit after she has died. She says, “Does anyone ever realize life while they live it...every, every minute?" And the narrator/stage manager says, “No.” Because you just can’t live your life thinking about this every minute of the day.
You can’t think about every conversation and whether it will be your last. But we would still all do well to remind ourselves that it can end at any moment, and it is a beautiful, precious thing.
Fuck bro, I’ve seen more of my fair share of people dying far too young in my life, so far, but this broke my heart. All the best.
Thanks for your thoughts. I can’t pretend like it doesn’t bother me at times but I did learn at a young age what some people don’t learn until they are older. Ironically, my dad lost a lot of people when he was growing up. Both parents before he was 15, childhood friends, etc. My mom always said he would probably understand better than most how it feels.
But even that reinforces to me that it is just a part of life, and I’ve spent my (so far) adult life trying to come to peace with and accept death as the final chapter of life, nothing to fear. Some days are better than others, for sure. In the meantime I try my best to enrich the lives of those I cross. Again, some days are better than others haha.
"Thank you, as usual. It's really about time I returned the favour."
My older brother had told me this countless times before. He almost always said it when he left. I responded with the usual. He was strange in the prior conversation, but because he seemed in a better mood than normal. That last goodbye, the same as always promise that had just become a formality, just felt so normal. I had no idea he'd already resolved to take his own life. He was saying goodbye for good, and I didn't even notice.
So sorry for your loss. I have a similar story with my friend who took his own life. We were 16 and it was after school. We were in the science lab doing some extra credit or study session thing I can’t remember exactly why we were there but I can picture the scene vividly. We were joking around like normal and when he was leaving I was teasing him about something but then said cmon buddy let’s hug it out and opened my arms up wide. (We bro hugged all the time, no big deal). He jokingly got really stern and was said “no! No more hugs!” And I was ah ok well see ya. He took his own life that night and I’ve always wondered if he avoided that hug because he’d already resolved to do it and didn’t want the hug because he knew he needed it and might have lost his resolve. I’ll never know. I’m 33 and still think about that almost daily.
This made me tear up, can't imagine the long lasting effect his loss has had on you. so sorry for your loss
I'm sorry that has happened. But an very common thing with people whom have resolved to take their own life is them being more happy than usual, unusual joy, sometimes they make gifts before the final day.
I made an promise to myself once I realized that I'm suicidal that I will never make that resolve.
I hope I could help you try to recognize the problem before someone close to you will set the date on their calendar.
The last time I saw my friend before he took his life was probably my happiest memory with him. He was so excited to see me, and I always assumed it was because he didn't know I would be in town that night to see his band (I live in a different state). So many hugs and happy memories that night. I never would have guessed he was suffering, he hid it so well. It's bittersweet to think that he may have known that was our last time together. I guess I'm glad he made it a happy one, but I wish I could make more memories, even mediocre ones. Miss you bud
My uncle was hit in the head with brass knuckles and his last words to me were “I wasn’t hit, it was just a door” 12 year old me said “that wasn’t a door, you were hit” and he said “then why’d you ask”. We were both laughing about it and he said he was okay. He wasn’t.
That and my aunt I was making something for when I was 11. I kept telling her to stay for 5 more minutes while I finished. She said “I’ll be back early tomorrow”. She passed away that night.
Why did your uncle get hit in the head with brass knuckles?
No one really knows. He was walking with a friend and someone jumped out of a car, hit him yelling that he owed him money, and then said “oh shit you’re not (some name I can’t remember)” and the jumped back in.
That person is a piece of shit. I’m sorry for your loss.
My best friend: "It was great to see you! Can't wait to hang out with you again soon!"
He died a few weeks later in a snowmobile accident before we could make time to get together.
After he passed, I decided that if I ever had a son I would give him my friend's middle name, Ehren. Fast forward 10 years and my wife was pregnant with our first son. When she was having trouble detecting his movement we went to the hospital and she was given an emergency C-section. We didn't realize it until later but Ehren was born 10 years to the day that my friend passed away. Ehren was released from the NICU 8 days later, on what would have been my friend's birthday.
"Bye, beautiful, drive safe!"
I said "Always"
He took his own life the next day. We'd been together for 22 years.
My childhood friend moved upstate but would drive down for weekends to hang out. I called him to see if he was coming down that weekend he said he wasn't and before we got off the phone said "Have fun at college" (it was the summer after I had finished HS).
I didn't think abt how it was weird at the time. His cousin called me the next day to say he'd shot himself the night before.
My mom fell into a coma about a week before she died from lung cancer (don't smoke!) but the last time I saw her conscious, she called me by my childhood nickname and said she loved me and was proud of me. In terms of a parent's last words, it was the best thing she could have said. I still tear up when I think of it, 10 years later. The last thing my dad said to me was "(My sister) is taking me to the hospital, I'm not feeling well. Tell (your daughter) I said I love her too and I will see you guys soon." He went into surgery and never woke up. Died 4 days later.
My father calling me and wishing me a happy birth day 2 weeks before he passed away, 2 days before I flew home, 2 months ago.
Edit, reading all these posts and comments is literally bringing me to tears, so many heart flet stories, this is why you should always be kind to other people, you never know what they are going through.
The day before my grandfather slipped into his last sleep my car broke down. He heard about it and gave me a lot of money when I visited him. The last thing he said to me: 'I wanted to see you smile for one last time.'
For me, my grandfather was lending me his truck so I could take my stuff for my second year of university. Last thing I heard him say was "Don't forget to check the oil."
Died about 2 weeks later suddenly.
My dad and I took that truck to the funeral, and on the way there the oil light came on.
Because you forgot to check the oil?
Oh my God, just thinking about how in that moment money no longer had value to him but seeing you happy was EVERYTHING for a man in his final days made me tear up
About six months ago I was with my mum on the phone to my Grandma who was dying from covid pneumonia. Mum said to her “I love you”. She replied “I love you too”. Her words were barely audible over the phone with her breath so laboured.
Grandma (who I was very close to) didn’t know I was also on that call to her. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her I also loved her because I knew I would have broken down and burst into tears as soon as I opened my mouth to speak. I wanted to tell her so much. I was desperate to, but just couldn’t.
She died an hour or so later. “I love you too” were the last words I heard her say, but I still feel a horrible sadness and regret that I didn’t tell her I loved her while I had an opportunity in her final moments. She was such a lovely part of my life and I’ll never stop missing her.
She knew, and she knows. Put the regrets behind you. She knows. Love never ends.
see you when i get back
my boyfriend, he never came back.
My father was mostly non-verbal and not lucid while declining from cancer. I was sitting bedside when he suddenly woke up and started getting out of bed.
"Where are you going, dad" I asked.
He looked at me, his eyes twinkling above a huge smile, and said, "I'm going to get some ice cream, boy."
Edit: There was no way he could support himself at that point so I got him back in bed, then ran to get ice cream. He was lapsing back when I returned, but he did have some ice cream. I'm pretty sure those were his last words to the world.
Edit 2: Many thanks for the responses and awards. It is cathartic to share this memory with you. I like to think my father would have appreciated the humor of the moment as well. This entire thread has been a roller coaster of emotion. The mix of slow fades and unexpected departures remind us that no one knows when the end will arrive, but that someone will remember our last words to them.
This is really common - at a certain point, cancer can actually destroy the brain's ability to feel pain, and the patient suddenly feels better than they have in a long time. My late wife, in home hospice care, was mostly non-verbal when suddenly she sat up in her hospital bed, pointed at me and said "YOU! You are taking me to brunch - I don't care where, but you're taking me." We all went to Bob Evans, and she died less than a week later.
Yeah, very common for folks in the final stages before dying to all of a sudden feel fantastic and more active, often families see this as a sign of improving, though could be an opportunity to help people identify a crucial moment to connect with their loved ones!
Unexpectedly, that also happens in patients with serious brain diseases such as Alzheimer's.
That's the part that is so puzzling. Supposedly these people have too few functioning brain connections for that level of consciousness. And yet...
My husband died right before Christmas. He had about 2 hours of lucidity a few days before his death. Just enough to say goodbyes, have a few laughs and open our Christmas presents. So surreal.
Bittersweet, but what a wonderful opportunity to make some final positive memories.
Yes, ice cream... when I was a kid some years ago and my grandfather had cancer my parents took me and my little brother to speak to him while he was still at home. I didn't know it'd be the last time I'd ever speak to him, so I can't remember what the last words of that conversation were... probably something like goodbye.
I didn't know that'd be the last time I'd talk to him and I regret how distant I was in that conversation... my parents had just told me to be careful not to give him the cold I had and I was kind of awkward... That always makes me feel sad, because I wish I could've asked him about a lot more stuff about his life, just as I do with my other grandfather now. But there's nothing that can be done, really, and I can ask my mother about what she recalls.
Anyway, relating to the ice-cream my mother says that when my grandpa was already at hospital and he couldn't eat much, he ate lemon popsicles. This story isn't so interesting as others here, but it's something I guess.
Edit: well, after re-reading what I wrote I realised that it doesn't need to be interesting. That story was just me being human at a certain stage of my life. Fortunately, I was able to get over it fairly easily.
"Come here" -my grandad wanting to tell me something before I went to work I said ill see you when I finish da. He died while I was it work. Kills me inside knowing he wanted to tell me something before he died.
Edit spelling and thank you so much of the upvotes didn't think it would blow up like that haha
Saw my childhood best friend after a few months, we were both busy and walking opposite directions & I told him I'd come over tomorrow to catch up and play some xbox. Died in a car crash that night. He was 14, would be turning 20 this year if he made it
"Don't stop riding."
My dad, brother and I were heavily into mountain biking. My dad found a group through his work that rode their bicycles in a group on the weekend.
I was a teenager at the time but I became friends with an older lady named "Joyce". On a road ride one morning, all the slower people (me, my dad, Joyce and a few others) were drafting off eachother. When it was my turn, I accidentally clipped Joyce's handlebar and she went down hard.
Now it was a nasty fall, but it wasn't bad enough to cause anything serious. Her protective gear should have saved her, but she was down. She was in a lot of pain and couldn't move without crying. We ended up having to call an ambulance. 14 year old me was distraught that I hurt her so bad.
A week or two later we get a call. Joyce had advanced stage cancer and the unexplained extreme pain from the fall was related to it, and that was how the doctors discovered it.
I'll cut this short, the meds didn't work, and she was told she had less than 6 months. When it was our turn to visit her, she let me know that she doesn't blame me for what happened, and that I shouldn't let this stop me from riding. "Don't stop riding."
Your accident may have been a blessing. Not everyone has a chance to say goodbye, she did.
Agree. Blessing in disguise. Many people got closure and got to say things hey otherwise wouldn't have, and likely avoid one or two of the worse stories in this thread about a random message being the last.
Damn bro I thought that stuff only happens in movies. I'm so sorry that happened bro but don't stop riding, for her right
My aunts last words that I heard from her were “you’ve grown so much” as I was a little kid (about 5) and she hadn’t seen me for a while. The sheer innocence and love in that phrase is what I associate with my aunt now, and she was amazing.
My maternal grandma said something similar to me. I immigrated to the USA with my parents when I was 4-5 and didn't visit it again until I was like 15. At that time my grandma was bedridden and I was told she had lost her memory, but when I met her she was lucid enough to know who I was and asked me how my mother was doing.
“Thank you for taking such good care of me. You did a wonderful job.” My mother after a stupid accident caused her to die a little prematurely while she was terminally ill with pancreatic cancer. I was her primary caregiver for the last seven months of her life. We knew she wouldn’t wake up in the morning. It’ll be 5 years on June 3rd. Still hard to think about.
Before my husband completed suicide, he jumped up out of bed and said "I'm just so rattled, I'm going to go call [my friend]". Found him passed about 2.5 hours later. I talked to his friend and found out he didn't actually call him that night so I think he just said that to keep me from following him. It was late and we both had to work in the morning, but this particular friend was someone he talked to when he was having problems with his PTSD.
The last words I heard from 3 of my grandparents were the exact same. Goodbye, come back soon.
that’s sad. i can imagine a dreadful sense of deja vu.
My brain did not register it at the time. I wouldn't be surprised if it will also be the last thing I hear my last grandparent say. She always says the same when I leave after a visit.
When I woke her up she said "Why did you wake me up?"
After I kissed her goodbye she said "You can wake me up any time."
My friend in college died by suicide. He sent me a message on FB messenger saying “I need a hug.” But FB messenger glitched, didn’t send me the notification, and I didn’t see the message until after it happened. Painful to remember.
I'm so sorry you experienced that. One night I was hanging out with friends and wasn't looking at my phone. Another friend of mine who had been struggling with depression tried messaging me. I don't remember what she said, but it was very indicative of suicidal thoughts and I didn't see it until hours later. I was desperately trying (and failing) to contact them, then their local 911 to do a welfare check, sobbing in my room hoping I wasn't too late. It's an awful feeling I wouldn't wish on anyone. (Said person was okay in the end.)
This is one of the most painful on here from a personal perspective. I am so sorry
This is my personal nightmare.
I'm so sorry.
It's how I found out about a late friend. He had been gone a few days until I got a PM telling me he and his wife finally had their first child. My phone was broken so I wasn't getting his voicemails. Sucks.
Not sure if this counts, but a friend from university who was in Denmark (I'm in the UK) sent me one of those multimedia messages. I assume it was because it was a really long message, but I messaged him back, thinking maybe it was just a picture at the time, and said "You should get WhatsApp my guy, I can't see what you've sent me." I didn't get a response. And found out a week later that he had killed himself. I was never able to convert the message after and I have no idea what he wanted to say. I still think about it from time to time, but I try not to linger on the memory now. It feels too heavy(?).
I don't know either of you and I'm sure you know way better what it might have said, but as there will never be a confirmation of sorts, I don't think it is something to beat up yourself over (not saying you are or aren't, but I would be devastated and dwell on the contents of that message, and I don't know how I would move forward from that but I imagine it would take a lot of me understanding that things happen out of our control, and it was likely a funny little message.
Oh man I really thought I had a point here, but I'm pretty anxious from reading through this thread, and I thought this could be helpful but it doesn't seem so helpful after writing it
My heart kinda stopped when I saw that this was you
Didn't say anything but I got a thumbs up.
A friend of mine's brain cancer came back. He didn't want people seeing him too much because of what the chemo was doing to him. After he was hospitalized I arranged to go visit him. He was completely out of it when I got there but I had a nice conversation with his wife about all the arrangements they were making so they could bring him home the next week.
I was going to leave but his wife woke him up so he knew I was there. He was too out of it to talk but I got a thumbs up.
I went home and started talking to my friends about putting together some kind of welcome home care package.
I got a call the next weekend to say he had passed.
That was about 5 years ago. I still have the care package. I don't know what to do with it
My ex used give a work colleague a lift to and from work. We were about to have time off for a holiday. On the last day before we left, the work colleague said "goodbye and thank you". After our holiday, we called in to see him to check for future travel arrangements to find out that he had died while we were away.
"Oh fuck, not again." Seriously, a patient during med school said this. I'll never forget. It was probably them just pissed they were having a third heart attack, but I always wondered if they were some immortal being that had died before and managed to come back somehow.
"So many secrets." My grandfather on his deathbed. Last words he ever said. I was the only one to hear him say it and have been afraid to ask anyone what he could have meant.
I received a message from my dad that said “Love u” and I responded “I love you too!”. 24 hours from the time he sent that message, I was notified that he had been in a motorcycle accident. He was sedated and brain dead by the time I got to the hospital.
I told my mom right before they administered morphine to her “They are going to give you some medicine and then you can go see Daddy” Her response was “Good, I’m ready”
My Father was nonverbal when he passed a year earlier due to stroke. It was nice to say goodbye to Mom and she was leaving this world on her terms. It helped me accept her passing.
"I'm alright, can you put your mother on the phone?"
My grandfather was at the doctors to check on a chest infection, and they had just told him he needed to go into hospital. He was asking my mum if she could pick his car up for him.
I remember passing the phone to her thinking that he sounded a bit more congested than usual but shrugged it off. He passed away in the hospital a week later - he gave specific instructions me and my sisters weren't to visit him. He knew his time was up and didn't want us to see him the way he was.
My grandpa and I didn't have an exactly good relationship. We didn't talk for 3 years. He was a very arrogant person. But the day before he died, he called me and told me how much he misses me and wanted me to visit him. So, I decided to visit him. As I was getting ready to visit him the next day, when I got a call telling that he died. That day, I cried a lot, I wished I had visited him before.
Sorry if there are any errors cause English is not my first language.
You can have my soup if you want it, I can't eat anymore, I love you.
My Mom said she loved me over the phone 2 days before she died in her sleep at 82.
I used to work in a hospital so this was really sad when it happened but this man in his 60s looked perfectly healthy, sitting up in an ER bed, and I'm pretty sure he said something like, "Am I being discharged? can I go home?"
5-10 minutes later, he went into Cardiac Arrest and sadly passed away.
"I'm gonna go for a walk"
An hour later, leaving her place to go look for her, found her 30 feet away swinging in a tree.
She was right there, and I failed to notice. Still haunts me to this day
My dad asked me for a hug. I was mad at him for some stupid teenager reason, and I denied him. That was the last time I saw him before he killed himself a day later.
My brother said, "I want to go," as he tried to pull himself out of the bed hed been in for 7 months battling leukemia - we hadn't seen him in months due to COVID restrictions, and he wanted to come with us to breakfast. The nurses said that that was the most exertion hed made in weeks. He died the next day.
My sister and I hadn't spoken in ten years. The last message I have from her read, "I definitely will come see you sometime soon. I love you." A month later, she was murdered by her boyfriend.
I don’t remember what I said to my mom before she passed.
I just know it’s been four months and I broke down crying in target next to the Mother’s Day flowers at the service desk.
The last thing we heard from my brother before he committed suicide was roughly “I love you mom, tell Burned and [sister] I love them.” He turned off his phone before we could track it and was found ~5 minutes later in his car.
Grandmother told me not to worry or cry if something goes wrong during her op. She didn’t even get to have the op
When my grandfather was on his death bed, he told my grandmother if she dated another guy he would haunt her. He passed away a few moments later.
My brother and my mom got into a fight last year. My mom suspected he was doing drugs. He walked out of the door angry and overdosed and died that night. My mom has not been the same since.
"Hey man. Happy new year. We still don't know what it is for sure. Probably leukemia or lymphoma. I will probably be here for another month or so, but can't say for sure. Take care of your health. This is the most pain and the most fucked up I've ever been in my life. Be well good friend. I look forward to smoking a joint with you and telling the tale of how I conquered cancer." A text message I received right before he went into a coma that he would never come out of.
Thank you everyone for the awards and upvotes
My dad was kinda the same. Wife and I had plans to go away for NYE and I told him I'd cancel if he wanted me with him. He said go, have fun, see when you get home. Docs were giving him 10-12 weeks. On NYE afternoon he went comatose and we never had another converation before he died on 1/3.
I feel you. I had a guy I was friends with, but hadn't seen for a while, show up and work, and say "I've got Hodgkins, and about six weeks to live. Just didn't want you to wonder what happened to me, dude."
He was part of an extended circle of friends from a bar, and nobody from the circle even remembers his name except me.
My grandmother was dating someone, a lovely man, and he treated her really really well. You could tell they definitely loved each other. About 6 months into the relationship, and him literally coming to thanksgiving and Christmas that year, he collapsed at work. I can’t remember what cancer it was, I do remember it being stage 4, and then immediately keeping him in the hospital. I remember going to visit him, and despite his pain, he was glowing and smiling at my grandmother, and they both looked so happy. He died a week later, after a month or so in the hospital, and only 2 chemo treatments in. My nanny was holding his hand as he slept and I remember the phone call we got at 3am. In all my 21 years of life, that death was by far the worst I’ve ever experienced. My grandmother didn’t date for a few years, and even kept this really cute picture of them on her night stand, that she still has up even with her current bf. Fuck cancer.
"You are so brave and beautiful, far more than me, and I want you to move on. Be happy, and forget about me. I love you, and I never wanted you to set yourself on fire to keep me warm."
My last boyfriend. Long distance relationship. He had moved back to Alsace, France to be close to home in his final days. He was dying in a hospital due to his organs failing. After that, he had undergone a surgery that was supposed to save his life.
It took his life instead, and his best friend messaged me later, telling me that he had died, and that he had been cremated and scattered in the yard of his former childhood home. Best friend told me that he had planned to come and visit me after he woke up and recovered.
I have done my best to be happy, because I feel like forgetting him would be the biggest insult to his memory. I found someone good to me, learned to love again. That is the most I can fulfill of his last request to me.
RIL, Louis Cuenot (May 6, 1990-September 4, 2016). I will always love you.
EDIT: I told whoever gave me the Hugz award, but oh God, thank you all so much! Honestly, it was just something to share and sort of get off my chest; I didn't expect so many upvotes, nevermind an award meant to virtually hug me. Thank you so much, again😊💞
2016- my paternal grandmother passed away. Just a month before her death... She said to me I look handsome like one of her brothers who left india 50 years back for the US. I will also become rich like that brother of hers and travel to all countries I want to.
Quite ironically her US based brother could not visit india for his sister (my grandmother's) death cause he is too old to travel today though still alive at 89.
"I'll see you after Christmas!". She was one of my best friends in high school. She passed away Christmas morning. Nobody knew why and didn't tell anyone. I couldn't even have my last goodbye at the funeral because my mom wanted to go get pizza (she was an abusive pos). But I have a small present she gave me before Christmas break. A little ornament with a small cloud on it. I hang it up every year.
my grandma was hard to understand when she talked because of the cancer in her brain. she said a long string of nonsense to me and i just smiled and walked out of the house. we were on the porch when my dad said “grandma said she loved you three times, why didn’t you say anything?” i felt awful and begged him to go back into the house and say i loved her back. it was late so my dad said, “it’s okay, you’ll see her tomorrow.” well, i saw her tomorrow, but she was dead so thanks for that dad. it kills me inside that i never got to say it back, everyone just tells me that she knew i loved her. i just wish i got to say it one last time.
My aunt slowly declined over 2 days, but before she was mentally not there she told me she loved me, and we held each other and cried. Then my mom sang her favorite song to her.
My granddad told me, in jest, that I need to graduate much sooner so that I can become his personal doctor. He died a few months after that.
I'm about a year from finishing medical school, and every time we have elderly male patients, I keep seeing him in them. This one's for you, *Tatang*!
My Grandma saying she couldn't breath.
My dad saying if he went into another coma he wasn't coming out of it.
My mom talking about a guy she was interested in.
A friend talking about how he couldn't take living like this anymore and is too old to keep going on.
A guy I tried saving from a burning car begging me to help him. then begging jesus to save him.
Used to volunteer sitting with people who were dying and a few would talk about how they wanted more time to do things they loved and how there wasn't enough time and how they never found anyone to love and be intimate with. regretting that they never did find that someone to settle down with.
My Charge Nurse (just committed suicide 2 weeks ago) I told her that I’d see her the next day we worked together. She kinda laughed to herself and said “yeah, we’ll see”. Killed her self the next morning.
A resident in that same week told us to call his sisters, and get him dressed. He didn’t think he was going to make it through the night. He was correct.
My grandpa was history buff, and around the end of his life, he never made much sense and he barely recognized anyone. One day I go to eat with him at his retirement home. And as I sit down he looks at me and playfully says « a viking is sitting with me » it was the last thing he ever said to me before his passing last spring.
I’m now sitting in the hospital, dealing with chemo. I lost my cool viking hair, moustache, beard, and body. But I swear grandpa, I’ll get it all back !
I hadn’t seen my grandma in years as we live so far away. I went back to my hometown with my mum when we found out she was being transferred to palliative care. The last thing she said was “I was waiting for you” when she saw me.
My great-uncle. Our last conversation was wanting to go see *The Last Jedi* in theaters. We were even going to go as a pair, just us two Star Wars nerds (He was an OG fan, was among those who went to the Originals when they came out). He was so excited, he could barely contain himself. He passed a month before it released.
I'll bet he's chilling in \[afterlife X\] pissed that he got so close only to go at the next to last moment. Say what you will about that movie, but it's always been different to me, marking the first Star Wars film I went to without him.
"Hey, want to finish the Diablo II run when I get back?" - One of my buddies. We were in Iraq.
\*edit\* I didn't think this would even really see the light of day, it was more of a 'well might be a good thing to rip the scab off'. It helped, even replying where I did.
A week before he died my uncle tried to give me his bike. He kept asking if I wanted it, but I was a moody 15 year old teenager and I said no. Because I mean, I had a bike and I didn’t want it.
He took his life a week later. And sometime after that I read that sometimes people who are planning to take their life start giving their possessions away. It sucks to think about still, that we had no idea he was feeling the way he was.
My older sister was in a serious relationship for about 6 years before her boyfriend was unfortunately killed. The last time I saw him, I told him to “Be safe and don’t die.” He just waved and told me he would be safe. To this day, I still wish I said something different since he didn’t keep his word
My grandmother told me “God loves you very much” while she was on her death bed. It made me feel guilty for a long time every time I did something wrong until one day I realized that she didn’t think I was perfect when she said that and she believed it anyway.
My friend and I were in an argument and he said fine I guess I'm just annoying then then he texted me a minute later apologizing saying we would just talk tomorrow. We didn't talk for the rest of the day. The next morning I got a call that he hung himself. He was having a hard time his grandma had just passed away and no one was allowed to see her because of covid, and he was in 2 big car accidents from seizures, and lost his job as a machinist because of his seizures. He left me a picture he hand drew and a lock box he made from hand behind. Hardest day of my life, so many regrets
:( just remember it's not your fault, that sounds incredibly difficult.
“I’m not gonna do anything with my guns I promise”... found my best friend dead 2 days later by suicide, from his gun.
If you or a loved one is hurting, please reach out. Suicide is life changing for the ones you leave behind. Your life is special and means something, and often it gets worse before it gets better, but it WILL get better. There is hope to be found and healing that can happen.
Miss you my friend, it’s rough knowing I should have done more.
Edit: thank you for all the reads and replies. We just held a memorial for my friend last night, it was rough, but we shared stories, danced, and had a helluva party like he’d have wanted.
I also am not angry with him. I just truly, truly miss him so much. But I feel much better today after having had quite an emotional evening with all of his best friends. Thank y’all again...
"I'm not feeling so hot"my brother tells me,next morning i find him and he had had a stroke,...he died on thanksgiving day last year...I miss you so much gabriel
“I would love to see such a smart boy at my school“ my aunt was the principal on a very famous school she died of lung cancer a couple of days later.
Both of my grandfathers died while pretty much incapable of speech (in bed, off machines, waiting to go). But both left me with amazing physical gags that I was the only one in the room to notice - and I'm quite proud of that, because one of the grandfathers is the one who taught me to find the funny side in everything.
Grandpa 1 we had family gathered in the hospital room, he was barely lucid so we were just sitting around telling stories. The women were around the bed comforting him, the men were stoically standing around. He suddenly grunted and murmured "I want to go" and everyone's heart broke. My aunt was like "it's ok dad, you'll go soon". But Pop had never had any time for that emotional crap. He sat bolt upright, grabbed his crotch and said "I want to *go*". They scrambled to find a nurse, I had to walk out into the ward and silently die of laughter. I told the story at his wake and everyone cracked up, nobody realised how hilarious it was in the moment.
Grandpa 2 was at home, we took him off chemo and got palliative care because he was going demented. We had a massive number of people over one night, 20+ friends and family, all shuffled into the bedroom to pray. Absolutely packed, I was sat on the bed with grandma, everyone else around the walls. We said stuff, I sang a bit, then mum was the only one not crying super hard so she prayed. I'm not spiritual so I kept my eyes open, comforted grandma, looking around at this room of weeping people, mum saying beautiful words. Look at grandad, largely immobile and unresponsive... Suddenly his hand moves up and starts picking his nose. I COULDN'T move, I was on the bed and just started silently shaking, grandma hugged me because she thought I was crying and I actually did shed a few tears but i was just so happy because that's the man I knew. Room full of people all bonding and he'd look at me and let one rip or something.
So yeah, not last words but I feel very lucky that I got to see both men leave this world exactly how they loved, one no-nonsense and one beloved goofball.
Four years after my best friend died I noticed I had a voicemail message from him. He had called me from the hospital a couple of days before he died from Acute Interstitial Pneumonia just to say that he missed me and loved me and probably wouldn't get a chance to speak with me before he passed away. He sounded at peace and I miss him every day.
I love you too..
My husband told me over his shoulder as he was walking towards the ambulance. Less than 24 hours later he died. I was with him when he died but as he was sedated and intubated he couldn't speak.
Heard from a reputable source that my fraternity brother had relapsed.
Discussed it with another brother about what we should do. He decided to check in and push for rehab. Everything was denied, he demanded to know who "started the rumor" and the finger was pointed at me.
He called me, screaming, about how "it's fucked up you'd even accuse me of that, you didn't even ask me, and just start spreading rumors". He claimed to be doing better than ever, we ended with me saying I'm happy it's not true and wishing the best, but it was pretty clear he was cutting me off.
A few days later I got the call he had OD'd...
My dad was in the hospital... he was a big strong retired army vet but had endured alcoholism, 3 heart attacks and lung cancer and had wasted away. I had just turned 19 and had moved out on my own. He told me "son, I am proud of you. Keep doing the right thing and get out there and make something out of yourself." Shortly after that he was given Morphin for pain so he could rest and the nurse said I had to leave. I went end to tell him bye and I love him and he reached up and grabbed my arm and told me not to trust the nurse because she had stolen his balls. Evidently the morphin had kicked in..... He died the next morning.
Not so much the last words but the last action, I suppose. My grandfather was 91, and in a home. He’d been there for about 9 months and loved every second of it. He was the oldest one at the home and everyone called him ‘Captain.’ He unfortunately was already sick, and then caught Covid. The home let us in his doorway room to see him one last time. His eyes were closed and he couldn’t talk due to struggling to breathe. My family all were talking to him and he was just laying there. I finally talked to him and he just opened his eyes so wide and I saw the smile through his mask. (I was his first grandchild, and we were inseparable.) I told him I loved him with all of my heart. He closed his eyes and went back to sleep. The next day or so he passed away.
That smile is now burned in my memory as the last moment with him. I wouldn’t trade that for the world.
“auaaaaaahhhh”. my grandfather is chinese and doesn’t know english well and i used to get paid to feed him and watch him. i was the last person to see him alive. he waved me off because he didn’t feel like eating and sat down in his chair and just kept telling me by waving to go. so i kissed his forehead and left. then the next day i found out he died in that chair.
Hugs. It’s hard when that happens. You know you did what he wanted you to but you wish you could have been with him.
My Grandmother passed away while in the hospital, I got to visit her the day before. I was a heavy metal loving 13 year old in the late 80s and looked like it. Grandma said "Sneek, you're not doing drugs, are you?". I replied, "No Grandma." Her last words to me were "Good. You're a good girl."
“Alright [my name], I’ll see you later on. Always good seeing you.” Then he gave me a fist bump. He went into respiratory distress from aspiration pneumonia an hour later, was transferred to the ICU for intubation, sedation, and ventilation, then died 10 days later. He was my favorite patient too and we knew him from his recurrent bowel obstructions which would bring him into the hospital every year. Still have his name in my phone because he was going to teach me how to golf.
My mom died unexpectedly from a heart attack the day before Thanksgiving. I was still in college out of town and talked to her the day before on the phone. She wanted to go out Black Friday shopping with me at midnight (mostly to just watch the chaos) and we were going to go to the 24hr Sonic and get hotdogs at like 3am lol She always liked having fun and doing dumb things with me. I dont remember the whole conversation because we talked on the phone almost everyday. But it's nice to think our last conversation was about making silly plans together :)
Its one of my lifes biggest regrets.
Last time I ever talked to my mom I argued endlessly with her, for hours
Last time I ever talked to my dad (unrelated and a couple years later) was also an argument
The last conversation I had with my dad was horrible. He’d been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was near the end. He was on some very heavy pain killers and was hallucinating and had no idea what was going on anymore.
For whatever reason, he thought I was there to take his money. Which is ironic, as out of all my siblings, I’m the only one who never asked my parents for money or help. He was genuinely afraid and kept asking me why I wanted to kill him and take his money. I know that it was the drugs, but in the moment, his fear and feelings were real to him. Still haunts me.
Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of when we found out and I’m still struggling to be honest. It’s easy to remember the date, as it was the day he stopped crossing days off his calendar, which always makes me think of the preciousness of time and how we don’t really value it until there’s an end in sight.
Fuck cancer. My grandpa had lung cancer that had metastasized throughout most of his body and his brain before it was found. So for last month or so, he was in and out of lucidity and nearer the end pretty much out of it, didn't recognize anyone really.
My brother and dad hadn't been speaking for a couple of months over some stupid unrelated bullshit, so he had been avoiding the family other than my sister and I. I finally convinced him to come with me to see our grandpa, flat out told him he wasn't gonna be around much longer and he'd regret it if he didn't put his issues aside to see him at least once. They were close.
We get there and my grandpa recognized him at first and had a huge smile. He was more lucid than he had been for a couple of weeks (previous week he didn't know who I was when I was leaving and giving him a hug, in the middle of the hug he jerked away from me and looked at me like I was some weird stranger.) They had a good talk, and as we were leaving, he asked us if we needed gas money to get home, we told him no, we're fine. He died a few days later. But I'll always remember that even gone as he was, near the end, he still cared for us and wanted to make sure we were ok. That the last thing he said was looking out for us.
"I love you, baby" - my dad in our final phone call before he had a sudden aortic aneurism.
"Don't worry, I'm fine. I'm not gonna do anything. I promise I'll drive up to see you weekend after next" my college friend, who shot himself a few minutes after hanging up with me.