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knife_hits

My dad gave me a piece of furniture one time. When I got it home, a post-it note which had been stuck to the bottom floated down to the floor. I picked it up, and in my dad's unmistakable handwriting were various notes about gay personal ads he'd been responding to -- details about the other guys. Their names and ages and sexual interests, the status of their conversations, etc. My dad was, at least I thought, very straight. I put two and two together and realized this piece of furniture was from an apartment he kept briefly while he and my stepmom were on the outs for about a year. None of this bothered me one bit, but I got the distinct impression that my stepmom (an older, very conservative lady) would have NOT been cool with any of this... I let him go to his grave without ever telling him.


Sam_and_Green_Eggs

Grandma naked... repeatedly. My room is across the hall from the bathroom and I would do homework a lot with headphones on. I heard my grandma holler something to me from the bathroom. Took my headphones off and look to the bathroom door right as she opened it to go to the guest bedroom. Turns out she was saying “don’t look! Naked grandma!”


Atiggerx33

I guess not me but my dad. He stepped outside a bar one night on a rainy day to get more smokes from his car (this was back when you could smoke inside) and saw one guy kneeling on the ground holding another dude face down in a pothole puddle and the other guy thrashing wildly. He said that instinct took over and he just ran up and kicked the attacker in the head as hard as he could, knocking him out. He sat with the victim until he left to make sure the dude was ok and didn't try to murder the now unconscious attacker. Then he made an anonymous 911 call so that someone would tend to the unconscious guy and left. He said it was the creepiest thing he ever just walked in on and he never went back to that bar again.


chesquayne

My parents were getting ready to head out for a double date with my friend’s parents. Everyone came over to our place beforehand and brought their kids because their oldest daughter was going to babysit the rest of us. The adults were in the kitchen chatting and my sibs and I decide we want to show our new sitter this home video we made of a turtle we caught. None of the tapes were labeled well so of course we end up putting on what turned out to be my parents’ sex tape. Five kids with our jaws on the floor watched as my mom pulled down my dads boxers and started blowing him. Dad was hung apparently. The sitter who was maybe 15 at the time dove for the VCR and powered it off. Within seconds all the parents come through, “ok, kids, be good...” met with our stunned silence.


That-Wait2975

I thought this was gonna be some wife swap shit. My best friend was into that with his (now) ex wife and has tried convincing me to switch partners. Thing is, he is way better looking than me, and my wife is way better looking than his so, I see it as a lose lose for me.


BreesGOAT

One time I was up late at night scrolling Facebook at the same time as my drunk and high off Xanax married mother who was an entire timezone away at the time. She was messaging an old fling from high school while her husband was away at work and was sending him close up pictures of her vagina. How I know this is because she didn’t send them via messenger, SHE POSTED THEM ON HER ACTUAL FACEBOOK PAGE. I had to call her in the middle of the night in her zonked out stupor to get her password to delete pictures of vagina off her own Facebook page.


darkmatternot

Thoughts and prayers


HannibalCake

Thanks I’m gonna really need them after reading that


follower888

My uncle Injecting my dad with herion.


Nav_the_gamer

Was working at a hotel during college and saw my lab partner get a room with the professor.


MattyIce1220

extra credit!


asrielrising84

Bout 5 years old woke up to the snow finally starting to melt. Notice a girl "asleep" in the garden. Went a told my dad, he took one look and told me to go play in my room. Turns out girl had been "asleep" in our front garden for about 2 weeks buried and frozen under the snow.


asrielrising84

Ok follow up on this. I didn't know she was dead until I was about 16 when I mentioned it to my dad "remember that girl asleep in the garden" Dad "she was dead you idiot," As far as I know she was like late teens early 20's. We lived in a pretty rough area , lots of drugs etc. She had probably been out partying sat on our garden wall and passed out. I do not know exact cause of death or toxicology report.


I_MELT_STEEL_BEAMS

That's really sad. One of my best friends died that way, he'd had one too many and sat outside to get some fresh air. Air was so fresh he went into hypothermia and died on the front steps of the building, just like that. RIP Marcus. Don't let drunk/high friends out by themselves when the elements can kill you.


SweetSilverS0ng

I had a friend disappear from the nightclub on a ferry from Stockholm to Helsinki, in late December. I searched the common areas (at that time of night not many open). I dreaded going out on the very windy and icy deck, worried I’d find him frozen or signs he went overboard. Went back to our room again, this time he was there asleep. No idea where he’d been to this day.


ohokayfineiguess

>Don't let drunk/high friends out by themselves when the elements can kill you. I was at a house party in high school, northern Canada -45C. Some kid went outside to piss and didn't come back. Thank fuck we noticed: found him in a snowbank 20min later, unresponsive. The doctors brought him back, and the paramedics told us that if we had waited another few minutes, he'd be dead. Notice who's at the party, and ask questions when people disappear.


centre_red_line33

When I was a kid I had to pull one of my ferrets out from under my parents’ bed and locked in his jaws was a bright red rubber dildo


SheinOn

My company's entire payroll on a spreadsheet. Someone left it on the printer. Used the info to get a way past due raise.


DerMunger

Tbf not talking about salaries is the main cause for most people being underpaid. This was good fortune.


monkey_scandal

Was fixing an elderly neighbor’s laptop that had nudes of his wife on the desktop with the thumbnails at maximum size. It’s like he wanted me to see them. I will say though, she had a bangin’ bod for a woman in her 70s. I think it’s safe to say he thought the same.


pejic222

The man was clearly trying to flex on you


bleugirl1

My friend writing in his scholarship essay about how “he needed assistance more than ever, since he was diagnosed with HIV”. I never told a soul. It’s been my best kept secret since.


Nordll

My aunt sent a picture of her tits to my mom after she got them done. I happened to be the one using the phone when the message came through and opened it without expecting anything like that.


Responsible_Proof624

When I was still married, my (then) wife had left her phone on to run to the bathroom while I was in bed, I looked at it for the time, and found it was left open to a secret Gmail account she was using for sending literally hundreds of nudes back and forth between many many dudes. For years. Up to that night while she was fully 6 months pregnant. Mostly original stuff too. I think that hurt more. Thanks people for all the comments and sharing, it was actually healing in a way so really thanks everyone


[deleted]

Sending nudes using Gmail?..the fuck? Lol


Miss_Rowan

Yep, my ex used my laptop sometimes. He left his Facebook open on his messages. I'm not the snooping type and I had no reason not to trust him, but the very top message preview was "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" and I didn't recognize the other girl's name... I went down a rabbit hole and he was sexting several girls. Also found out he was using my laptop to watch a ton of porn on his days off and was still regularly reaching out to girls on Plenty of Fish, where he had an active account (dating website), and had a secret second email he'd give those gals to talk to them. Then he had the gall to try to tell me off for snooping through his private affairs... dude you literally used MY laptop to do all this.


simpletonbuddhist

The night I learned my ex gf was cheating, she just got up from the couch to kill a bug and left her phone face up on the couch with Snapchat open. The chat had a picture of her boobs and some sexting replies from the guy. My heart dropped down to my butt. Man, cheaters suck


charlielovesu

I remember with my ex we had started to turn things around after a rocky patch in our relationship, and she left the laptop I got her next to me while she went to the store. I ended up checking her messages while she was gone. And my heart just hit the floor. She had messaged multiple guys and sent many nudes she had sent to me to other guys. The one that fucks me up mentally to this day though was the message from her best friend. “Why don’t you just leave him? He’s so good to you. You know he doesn’t deserve this.” And her reply was “someone’s gotta pay my cell phone bill”. What was ironic was the messages all changed about a week before I read them. She had been messaging all the guys and saying “I can’t do this anymore. It was a mistake.” Blah blah blah. Cuz things had been better apparently. I still broke up with her because I knew I’d be an insecure wreck the rest of the relationship if I stayed with her. Haven’t even had the same confidence since. Cheaters do fucking suck.


JudgementalChair

I caught an ex cheating on me and broke up with her, only to find out that there were multiple guys involved and everyone knew about it including my 2 best friends and even my own brother. No one ever said a word to me about it. Really does fuck with your head bad being hit with that realization. Sorry you had to go through it too


swaeter

naked men wrestling on my mom’s laptop (not gay porn, it was actual wrestling in a ring, just with their soft dicks out) when i was like 9. she later came out as a lesbian, so i’m not sure what that was about.


xX_MotherFricker_Xx

a failed attempt to un-lesbian herself


KingChicken15

I had a tree house in my back yard. The neighbors behind us had a pool. I was 12 their daughters were 18 and had their boyfriends over. They end up jumping topless into the pool while I was chilling in the tree house reading


Cigarello123

“Reading”


bdthebrave

Was working on a school project with some kid. Opened a folder where I thought we saved some of the videos for the project. It was nothing but his dad's beastiality porn. I'll never forget the look on that kid's face. His parents got a divorce like month later, and he moved away.


TheFiredrake42

Snitches get two Christmases.


The_Guermo

I was working airport security. I know I'm sorry, we all hate it too. The x-ray guy sees a jar of cream in a bag. I'm called to the bag check and get the owner of the bag to come with me to do a bag check. I look through it, find what appears to be a jar of gel and i tell the tiny effeminate man he can't bring gels through. He looks to the other side of the check point tells his very large stereotypical plumber looking boyfriend this. And he says; "No.. not.. it's. not.. YOU FUCK IT!!!!" Yeah he yelled the last part, i was holding his fleshlight. I had to do a chemical swab on a fleshlight.


thhroataway

One time airport security looking at my bag through the X-ray thought a 5 lb bag of pistachios was weed lol


edwardcantordean

I went on a road trip with my grandma when I was 15. My mom let me borrow her suitcase. Pretty sure she forgot that she'd stashed an envelope of VERY dirty photos of her and my stepfather. About a dozen, in various acts, with various people and objects. My grandma walked in as I discovered them and I was in a PANIC fearing she might ask to see the photos I was looking at. Thankfully my aunt distracted her and I was able to hide them away in the pocket where I'd found them. It was quite an awakening.


Top_Tier_Rattata

Saw a man crash his motorcycle into the back of a parked car. He flipped over the car hitting his head on the pavement and dying on scene. Firefighters showed up and sprayed his brains and blood down the storm drain. Later found out it was a girls father who I went to middle school with. I was 12.


VoidDrinker

> Firefighters showed up and sprayed his brains and blood down the storm drain. Holy shit. Makes sense they would do this, but just damn.


sendnoodles2748

When I was 13ish, I went in to our computer room just in time to finish seeing my dad send an email that said "I love you" and some other stuff to a woman that wasn't my mom. He tried to cover my eyes and act like he was joking around. I promptly left and went back awhile later. I tried getting in his email but he had changed the password. (We all knew it because his email was used to log in to a lot of stuff by the family) I never told my mom. Few years later, he divorced my mom and she asked me for help getting proof of him cheating from the laptop he had also used. I found GRAPHIC Craigslist messages that he had sent and received. Just gunna add a PSA here to parents - don't fucking ask your child to do this. Take it to a god damn PC shop and save your child the emotional and mental scars.


DareBear16

SAME THING kinda. My dad was pretty open about his laptop - anyone could use it anytime (which is weird considering). I was using it to sign up for SATs and found some lady’s nudes downloaded and emails over a span of 5 years with a lady (the same one I’m guessing) talking about trips to see each other, money exchanged, and “you say you love me” type convos. I took pics and showed my brother but never told my mom. They ended up getting divorced a couple years later anyways and she knows he cheated but idk if she knows to what extent. Neither of them know WE know though..


hazed0and0confused

In my high school Spanish class, our teacher had taped (VHS) a telenovela for us to watch. When she put the VHS tape in, there was about .25 seconds of of a porno that played...a topless woman moaning. Out of a class of around 30 kids, only about 5 of us looked around at each other and locked eyes with a “did anyone else just fucking see that?!” look. Our teacher must have taped over an old porno VHS of hers.


thexidris

Milder, but I was the only one in my science class who noticed the video cc said "orgasms" instead of "organisms" every time the word came up. I couldn't stop laughing. The teacher was so annoyed when he realized why I was laughing. Not at me, but at the video.


Barton_Thorn

After work one night, my buddy wants to have some beers and play some video games. I ended up getting done before him, so he tells me to grab a case and go to his house and his dad will let me in. So I stop at the beer store and head over. I get to his house and before I get a chance to knock, I can hear people having sex. It was so ridiculously over the top, I thought it was his dad watching porn. I could hear the woman saying stupid shit like "fuck my ass with your huge cock". Just screaming. The dude was like "yeaahhh. Take it baby. Whooooee." It was hilarious. Anyway, I figured his dad was watching porn, so instead of knocking, I waited in my car for a bit. My buddy shows up and asks what I'm waiting for. I told him I think his dad is jerking off in the living room because I can hear the porn. He's like ffs. So we go in expecting his dad to quickly jump up and pretend he was watching hockey or something, but nope. His dad was giving some lady a professional fucking. Guy had his hat on backwards and still had his boots and socks on. No pants. Haha like, did you take your pants off and put your boots back on? Wtf is even that? Anyway. She ended up being an escort. His dad was embarrassed. We were all embarrassed. But it was funny.


LastLetter444

You know a man is fucking when he flips his hat around for more aerodynamics.


Whimsicotten

Dude is the Ash Ketchum of the escort world.


ajcasta10

I was hiking in a forest with some friends, and as we continued on the trail, the mound of rocks on our right side opened up to more forest. Myself and one of my friends were leading the other two by a couple of yards, and we both briefly saw a couple having doggystyle sex several hundred feet into the forest on that right side. My friend and I gave each other that "did you see that shit too?" look. By the time my other friends caught up the couple had split and we couldn't see them anymore. It was like 2pm in broad daylight off of a main road, which was the weirdest part.


MilknBones

I live with two housemates. One of them has a cat which I think is pretty cute, but the other housemate, who is already pretty stoic in general anyway, almost refuses to acknowledge it’s existence. I popped my head into his room one day (his door was open) and I saw him with his headphones on, playing with the cat with one of those long stick toys with a string on the end. He had a pretty big smile as well. He didn’t see me, and I just observed for a couple of seconds cause it was surprising and quite cute and then quietly left. I didn’t bring it up because it seemed like a cute, private moment that I don’t think he would’ve liked anyone to have actually witnessed. Edit: I thought I’d post a photo of another cute moment of the two: https://www.reddit.com/user/MilknBones/comments/mrx9h7/housemate_and_cat_watching_f1_together_i_guess/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


CNAV68

Whew, reading these other responses I was scared this was going to quicky turn very illegal...


Petermacc122

The cat probably understands too. In public? Nothing. When nobody is home? "Oh hello little fluffy!"


VitalDeixis

I was at a work-related retreat for a week and ended up sharing a room with a guy from a different site. It was my first time meeting him, but we hit it off pretty well from the get-go. The last night I was there, I walked into our room and found him in bed with one of my male coworkers. Without missing a beat, I did a 180 and walked out the door without saying a word. As I was walking away, my coworker angrily whispered, "I thought you said you didn't have a roommate." (For some reason, my roommate thought I was going to leave a night early, but that didn't happen.) Ended up spending a couple of hours at the main cabin chatting with some folks so they could have their fun. I don't work there anymore, but I remember every time I would run into said coworker, he would always try to avoid chatting with me. I definitely didn't care if he was sleeping around, but, in retrospect, it was probably more embarrassing for him than it was for me.


TheFozzMeister

It was definitely more embarrassing for him


hyooston

Was he openly gay or was this a double whammy of sleeping around and closeted gay?


VitalDeixis

I didn't know he was gay until that point. To be fair, I had an inkling, but that moment definitely solidified it for me.


TheFozzMeister

That’s pretty solid evidence I’d say


Rabidleopard

HR at my last job accidentally sent out a list of everyone's home address, phone number, email, and if they were coming back after the layoff.


imapassenger1

Boss's assistant once emailed a spreadsheet out to the team with some sales figures or something. But there was a second tab which for some reason had everyone's salaries disclosed. Then there was the old "I withdraw this email" message which of course drew everyone's attention to it...


ryjkyj

I got hired once at a company that made software for an MLM scheme. I didn’t really know what I was doing so when the boss asked me to send out a company e-mail, I copied the client list (including clients of clients) and hit “cc” instead of “bcc.” Thousands of people immediately started spamming each other with sales and networking e-mails. I was fired the next day and the company collapsed shortly after. They were really scummy though. It wasn’t going to last long anyway.


stupid_comments_inc

You destroyed a head of MLM. You did well, if not on purpose.


chochazel

Not the hero they wanted, but the hero they deserved.


bRandom81

Took them down from the inside, eh? Lol


dliza003

My mom’s phone got a notification while it was charging. Curious, I just checked too see what it was. It was a text message from some guy saying “I’m going to have your pussy for breakfast”. I’ve never checked her phone since.


KrunchyOrangeTacos

My mother would have me answer her phone when she was busy sometimes while I was growing up. At the time, my mother was dating this guy and he called her regularly. Well one time I answered and he thought it was my mother. Most awkward few moments of my life happened with him saying all kinds of stuff not meant for a childs ears and then I politely told him I would go get my mom now. 🙃


william_wites

Lmaooo what did he say after that


KrunchyOrangeTacos

He apologized profusely to me, and then to my mother afterwards. He was a nice guy and was really embarrassed. Every time my mother answered the phone, and it was him, he always made sure to ask her if it was her first after that incident. lol


warrantyvoiderer

When I was 11 or 12 I walked in on my older bother masturbating. His back was turned so luckily all I saw was his ass. As I walked in on him I saw his mattress falling back into place so being the curious child I was, I went to see what was under his mattress on a later day when he wasn't home. I was hoping for porn, cause growing up in the 90's in a religious household meant it was super hard to come by, but no. What I found was much, much worse. I found about four dozen little zip-top snack baggies full of cum.


halfbakedlogic

OG sperm bank


AbheyBloodmane

Any brain surgeons want to destroy the part of my brain that will remember this? Thanks.


warrantyvoiderer

I've been using alcohol for the last 10 years to try accomplishing that as a DIY method. Still doesn't help...


[deleted]

>I found about four dozen little zip-top snack baggies full of cum. I gagged.


doth_taraki

My grandparents were both a bit deaf. I was downstairs prepping dinner and called out to them. No response. I placed their plates on a tray instead and walked upstairs to their room, their door half open. Saw my fully naked grandma riding my fully naked grandpa like they have no aches and pains. It's weird, like normally they do everything in slo-mo. Apparently not.


Brittewater

But for real though, good for them. I know a guy who manages a senior living campus. He said it's like dealing with senile horny middle school kids.


doth_taraki

I suddenly remember the famous old couple in Facebook who said the secret to a happy marriage is lots and lots of sex


cthbinxx

Okay a silver lining here is I was expecting them to be dead and then they’re just fucking :)


FoggyBoggy

Weird, "Silver Lining" is their grandma's nickname.


definitely_not_tina

My friend tells this story that one night she randomly heard her parents (who are already old at this point) fucking ridiculously loud in the early AM hours on Valentine’s Day, and they never have loud sex. My friend comes back from school with her valentines stuff and says “I got some nice valentines presents” and her dad quips “I gave your mom a nice valentines present too”and my friend responds “so I could hear”


WilliamtheIV

Once when I was 14 my dad was working as a handyman after being laid off by his company and taking odd jobs for friends and family members. He would “hire” me and pay me a days work with lunch to come be his work partner (kind of a father-sun bonding moment, in hindsight) Anyways one day we were working at my dad’s cousins house remodeling the master bathroom and in plain sight, on the bed was a giant dildo that we both had to pass in order to get to the bathroom. For an entire 8 hours in an empty house me nor my father acknowledged the family dildo.


Ruff8957

Family dildo you say?


not_khamson

Every family has got one!


GEIST_of_REDDIT

It was passed down for generations


Tkieron

>Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article **a** dildo, never **your** dildo.


UnobtrusiveHippo

In high school I found a document on my dad's computer that was basically a diary of his massive crush on another woman. I don't know why I opened it and in felt really bad but he probably shouldn't have kept it on a computer he let me use. It was weird but I never told anyone and tried not to think about it. My parents are still together and they seem (mostly?) happy. Edit: I appreciate all the comments trying to comfort me that this is normal, but the fact remains I definitely was not supposed to see that. As a kid I just felt really sad for both of my parents. I figured they were just staying married because they didn't believe in divorce. But since I've actually been in relationships now I get that that's just a thing that happens.


Insane1rish

Perhaps writing about it was his way of getting it out of his system?


WhiskeyandTequila

When I was a kid, maybe 8 years old, I went over to visit my friend who lived across the street. I’d often come over unannounced and just knock on their door to ask if my friend wanted to hang out. So I get there and knock on the door and wait for it to be answered. No one comes but I can hear noises indicating that someone is home so I knock again. My friend would often play video games with headphones on and would be slow to answer the door, so I just keep waiting and knock again, unsure why it’s taking so long for the door to be answered. My friend’s dad walks into the hallway to try to spy through the glass door to see who it is. He stands there fully naked, dick swinging, and we make eye contact through the glass. I turn to walk away, but he sees me leaving and approaches the door and opens it. At this point I see a woman appear behind him who was very naked and very much not his wife. My friend’s dad panicked and just stares at me. I panic too and ask if his son, my friend, is home. He awkwardly said “no, he’s not here” and decides that now might be a good time to finally cover his nakedness. I don’t say anything else and just turn to leave, at which point my friend’s dad just blurts out “don’t leave!” I look back, shocked and confused. He hurriedly leaves the room for a few seconds, while I’m forced to say a very awkward hello to the naked lady standing in my friend’s house. The dad comes back and hands me a fist full of cash and says “don’t tell anyone” or words to that affect. At the time I didn’t comprehend why he was giving me money, so I refused it and just walked back home. It wasn’t until years later that I fully comprehended what I had witnessed and why my friend’s mother kicked their dad out of the house soon after that. Tl;dr: when I was a kid I went to my friend’s house and accidentally caught his dad having an affair. He tried to bribe me not to tell anyone but I was too young to comprehend the situation


W0rm_G1rl

My brother opened his google chrome infront of me and I saw Hentai Haven in the most visited section under the search bar.


SuppleFoxFluff

Did he know you saw or is he living in blissful ignorance?


sechellia

When I was nine years old, I walked into my parent's room to talk to my mom who was sleeping. She had cancer at the time, which I didn't know about, so she always wore a headscarf to hide the fact that she was losing her hair from chemotherapy. She woke up frantically and hurried me out of the room but I cannot forget the moment when I saw her without hair and couldn't understand why lol. EDIT: Thank you to everyone who reached out, y'all are very wholesome <3. To those wondering, my mom passed two years later. I have come to terms with it though and I am 22 years old now.


Snouty-Snout

Oh that's so close to what i experienced when i was a kid ! I didn't know my mom had cancer, i just knew she often went to the "doctor". One day i walked up to my father shaving my mom's hair in the bathroom, i remember don't understanding a thing and crying because they wouldn't let me stay and look


ahhbeemo

ok -- non nsfw one. I was waiting in a condo apartment lobby. I asked the concierge for the wifi password. She was not good with computers and just turned her screen to show a text file that had every important password and keycode for the building. I am talking, router password, boiler room key combination, package room door code, security camera server password, their concierge email login.. everything. Because she didn't want to read out each letter, SHE LET ME TAKE A PICTURE OF IT!


Cornflakes_91

were you playing a hitman game?


BossLove1829

If an intimidating man came in dressed as clown... Yes I would give him the passwords. Less likely he'll say "fuck it" and just kill every living person just to finish the level. Ever been one-shot-killed with a snowball? That ain't no fun


grand_wubwub

This is definitely literal nsfw


Spetchen

Adventure time!


Cayde_7even

When I was 14, I was at my cousin’s house and we were supposed to be out swimming but I had snuck back into the house to steal beer and I caught my aunt pegging my uncle. He gave me $100 on the spot to keep quiet. Every time after that when I would see him, he would always slip me anywhere from $20 to $50. Finally when I was about 19 I told him, “It’s all good dude, you do you.” He gave me a hug and we have been thick as thieves since then. (Edit)😆😂🤣 It wasn’t a five-year long extortion racket. I was a kid and it took me a while to process and understand what I had seen. I just knew that he was freaked out about the whole incident and didn’t want anyone to know, so I kept his secret, but I definitely wasn’t going to turn down the cash. Later, I could see that things were still awkward between us and I just wanted to clear the air.


saadx71

I imagine him going to a family gathering and saying to himself" oh fuck I gotta hit an atm that fucking kid is there again".


tnp636

> Finally when I was about 19 I told him, “It’s all good dude, you do you.” He gave me a hug and we have been thick as thieves since then. Hahah This is my favorite story on here.


TheBoomExpress

When I was 18, I was pulling an all nighter trying to finish an English project when I decided to take a break and grab a can of coke from the kitchen. While walking there, I passed the living room and saw my father screwing his friend's wife on the couch. I turned right the fuck around and decided tap water from the bathroom would suffice.


Professor_Crab

Didn’t have air conditioning in my room growing up so on those hot summer nights that bathroom tap water was a blessing


pngn22

I think... That wasn't the point of the story


MrWilee

You’re right, but the Professor brings up some solid facts regardless of their applicability. That tap water, warm, cold, hard, or soft was clutch back in the day.


Jalapeno023

I was 16 and was returning home after giving my neighbor a ride to her piano lesson. Ahead of me was a pickup truck loaded with Sheetrock (wallboard). It was piled up so that it was higher than the cab of the truck. There was a family driving it. Dad and mom and two little kids were in the cab of the truck. The oldest daughter (10 years old) was given the honor or task of riding on top of the Sheetrock to hold it down. I watched as the wind picked up the Sheetrock and she had a flying carpet for a few seconds before she slammed into the asphalt in front of me. I was able to stop before I hit her. I was the first to get to her. Blood was everywhere. She was blowing it out of her nose and mouth trying to breath. Blood was coming out of her ears. A nurse was the second to come up. She told me to hold her head straight and talk softly to her. Her parents were obviously hysterical. By the time I got back in the car I was covered in her blood - face, neck, shoulders, hands and the summer dress I had on. I was able to drive home, my friend and I both in shock. I tried to get in the house without anyone seeing me as I looked like the accident victim. I walked past my mom to go to the shower and asked my friend to tell her what happened. My mom was so shocked by what she saw that she followed me. I got in the shower with my bloody clothes on to try to get the stains out. I will never forget that day. I should not have seen that tragedy. I watched the newspapers for several day (this was way before home computers, cell phone and mandatory child safety seats). She died after several days days in the hospital. That’s how I found out her age and that she had two younger siblings. Edit:clarity Edit: More information. Thank you for your votes and support. The “accident” happened in 1978. I don’t know what happened to the parents. My point was to answer the prompt and to talk about something I had not previously discussed. Reddit is a great place to anonymously discuss life, thoughts, actions and dreams. I am grateful for the support by way of votes and compassionate comments that I received.


Signedupfortits27

Tie down straps exist for a reason for fuck sake


Thecinnamingirl

A collection of child porn and bestiality images from the dark web that someone was trying to publish as a book on Amazon. I think the owner thought that if they didn't include any sexual keywords in the book metadata, the reviewers wouldn't notice it. ETA: I used to lead/work on the book review team.


uncom4table

Reminds me of the time I found my step grandpas porn collection. It was all blonde preteen girls. I was a blonde preteen girl and I’ve never noped out of anywhere so fast. Also we found a giant bag of toenail clippings and shaved hair from himself that he’d been collecting for years. He’s been dead since 2006 and he still gives me the creeps when I think about it.


shiny_lustrous_poo

My neighbor was grounded to her room and my buddy and I were in my back yard and talking to her through her window. We were going to try and get her attention but we realized her mom was in the living room masturbating lol


Mini-Heart-Attack

You didn’t actually tell her what you saw in the living room, did you?


Ergs_AND_Terst

"Hey, your mom is masturbating in the living room after grounding you"


Failure_in_Disguise

When I was a kid somehow a difgital camera appeared in my house, at the time I didn't know where it had come from, but it was there... Once I was lurking around and saw it on the shelf so I took it and started taking pictures. But my pics where bad so as I started to view them to erase them I realize it had more pictures, so I keep watching them. Til I saw one of my sister on her knees, sucking dick. Later I found out that the camera was a gift to her from an older guy she meet online... I just stopped thinking about it and never looked back... Just erased that memory from my mind... Until now I guess...


Blue_Ducktape

When I was in high-school I used to spend a lot of time exploring abandoned buildings, onetime I was in a hospital. The top levels were all vandalized beyond recognition but the basement was untouched. I assume because people were too creeped out or because half the building collapsed so maybe the risk kept people away. I was dumb though so I went down, all the paperwork was still on the desks, prescriptions laying around, names, addresses, phone numbers. I was honestly amazed that all that information was just left, it felt weird because I really wasn't interested in any of it but I couldn't stop filing through rooms of paperwork untouched for years. It was just a weird compulsion because I knew I wasn't supposed to ever see any of that stuff.


nooneknowsmehereeee

Stories like this always make me wonder - what happened the last time everyone left that building for them not to go back (maybe the collapse in this case)? It sounds like they were just in the middle of a normal working day. Why did no one ever go back in to get all that information? Surely the patients would have had to go somewhere else, wouldn’t the next place have needed their medical info? So many questions.


Demache

In a lot of the cases I've read about these, it's usually because the decision to shut down was very sudden. Usually the organization liquidates because reorganization isn't working. So one day, people come into work and they are told, by the end of the day, they no longer have a job. They might get as far as selling valuable assets but nobody bothers to go back for things that mundane like paperwork, because who's left to process or destroy it? It doesn't belong to the organization anymore, and the bank doesn't care about patient records. So it's left to rot along with other assets that have no value.


Super_Weenie_Hut_Jr

Human bones in the bottom of a cenote in the yucatan of Mexico. Dad told me to stfu and not swim in that area anymore.


Aminar14

On the one hand yikes. On the other hand that's some fascinating grim history.


isopodito

Some cenotes are basically bones soup jeje its still fun to dive there!! Cenotes were used a place for human sacrifices during the mayan times (it was believed that they had a conection with Xibalba aka mayan underworld, and gods like chaak aka mayan god of water) so its known that they are very likely to have human bones and other thing like vases and artifacts in them from those times so yeah bone soup I recommend visiting "Cenote Azul" in Quintana Roo very beautiful or if you want an underground cenote you can visit "Xkeken" its an hour from Valladolid, Yucatán


polywha

A photo clearly intended for my mom of my dad naked with a few of his friends all holding paper in front of their dicks that had "happy" "birthday" "[name]" on them respectively.


aLittleDarkOne

I saw my recently divorced moms golden shower Skype messaging session when I was a preteen. She didn’t realize her Skype was also logged into my downstairs computer. 12 year old me playing zoo tycoon 2 *dwoop* Shouldn’t have looked.


Mi1pool

I’ll try to paint the scene. It’s a sweltering summer day in a sketchy downtown parking lot. I’m sitting in my car having a smoke. I see a guy push over a portable washroom with another guy inside. The poor dude was covered head to toe in the contents of a hot, city toilet. I could smell it from my car. This guy obviously flips out and he starts beating the living hell out of the dude who pushed over the toilet. He gets the guy on the ground, picks up a huge cement brick and repeatedly smashes it on the guys head. It was a horrific scene. Nobody knew I was there and I had to testify in a court case years later.


Hugh_Jazz77

I’m not gonna say the man was right, but I am gonna say I understand the man.


Anjodu

A BDSM porn video starring a girl who I went to high school with who had recently graduated. I don't know who originally found it or how, but once they did a lot of people around school ended seeing it.


Kenny1115

We had that happen with a teacher, topless photo at a pool party when she was younger would circulate every so often. Never affected her career tho.


dumplingdoodoo

I was helping my grandma with dementia walk to the toilet. I got her situated and turned around to give her some privacy to do her business. I hear her giggling, turn back around and she has her shirt off and was tapping her saggy boobs so they flopped back and forth.


buyongmafanle

OK granny, enough titty fun time. Roll 'em back up and get to shittin'.


ugagradlady

Bizarro-Wuxtry, a music and comic shop in Athens, has lots of storage boxes all over the place. During one visit, I opened one and found a message the staff put inside, "Stop being a nosy little turd!" I couldn't help but laugh.


dryerfresh

My mom and step-dad’s duffel bag of sex toys and German porn vhs tapes.


FujoshiSad

My Spanish teacher with my geography teacher in underwear in a empty classroom.


soylentbleu

"... And I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me."


PeterpatchCounty

[A Member of Parliament in my country (Canada) showed his honourable member to the whole House of Commons earlier today.](https://nationalpost.com/news/politics/liberal-mp-causes-consternation-in-house-of-commons-after-appearing-naked-on-camera-in-front-of-colleagues)


EagleCatchingFish

I do not understand why people ever, ever, ever, ever get nude during zoom calls. If you are on a conference call, assume your camera is on. Even if you specifically turned your camera off, assume it did not work. I had a coworker who just taped a piece of paper over his computer's webcam.


evanjw90

My manager finger blasting the older cashier in the canned goods pantry. Edit to clarify: This was a bowling alley. I was a cook and had already closed and cleaned but after I had clocked out and gone to my car, I forgot I was told I could take the leftover Martinelli's apple cider from our new years eve bash earlier that week. Walked in to grab it and there they were.


Turbox39

I was trying to piece together which hole the “canned goods pantry” was for far too long before realizing that it was where it was happening not to what lol


The_Swishy

When I was 11 I saw another kid shit in a urinal and after he was done he saw me staring at him and literally pissed his pants.


Random486

Got home from school, walked upstairs to my room and looked in my sisters room. Her boyfriend was laying on the bed with her laying on top of him. She had no shirt on and he was cupping her boobs. They both just turned their heads to look at me and I went “oh” and turned to my room.


Gordramus

Holy god I was the guy in this situation for some poor brother. It was so awkward because later that night we went to a birthday dinner for her brother and I couldn't make eye contact the whole night. Thanks for awakening my repressed memories.


fakeworm

close up photo of (probably) my dad's asshole while I was scrolling through his icloud photos looking for a different picture. I think it had something to do with his upcoming rectal exam. nothing was wrong with it visually but the realization of what I was looking at was absolutely horrifying. part of my soul shriveled up and died


[deleted]

[удалено]


JP1426

My moms attempted suicide, I was supposed to be at track practice but skipped and caught the bus home. I walked in on my mom face down at her desk with pills and alcohol scattered around her.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

My sister discovered that someone had searched "pregnant erect nipples" on the home computer. My dad and I both denied it, and we were the only two males in the house. It wasn't me.


rocketparrotlet

Plot twist: it was your sister, who wanted you and your dad to suspect each other and say nothing for years.


SgtSharki

"I wasn't the one looking at pregnant erect nipples." Because if you can't believe a man named Cumslap420, who can you believe?


[deleted]

Promise it wasn't me. I was only like 12. Hadn't discovered my pregnancy fetish yet.


Metal-Butterfly

It was really your sister and she played you two like a fiddle so that you wouldnt discover it was her


Tooturn

it could be ur mom trying to identify if she is pregnant or not after looking at hers


RedShujin

I was just a child, like 8, and I went to Calabria (south Italy) with my family for summer vacations. We rented a house for two weeks. Me, my brother and a friend of us were playing in the garden when we heard voices coming from the neighbor's garden. We looked out from a hole in the hedge and saw a man with the water hose in his hand, playing with seven or eight fully naked smiling young women. Sometimes I'm still asking myself who the hell he was.


oiryeiwlwuryeoqlwy

Mafia boss enjoying the fruits of his ill gotten labor.


theaveragecoffeesnob

I was at a friends house when I was a kid. We were doing crafts on the front porch and I needed tape for something. I ran to the back yard to go ask her mom for some and when I walked through the pool fence gate, I saw her mom giving her dad a BJ on the lounge chair. I couldn’t look her dad in the eyes after that. Most awkward experience I’ve ever had. Edit: To answer common questions, yes I did get the tape. I wasn’t leaving without it. We had a serious project on the go. It was imperative I got the tape. Also, I couldn’t look at the dad because I saw his privates and we made eye contact while her mom was a little preoccupied lol


mitcheg3k

When i was about 14 My friends and I were walking past a house when i saw a guy going down on a lady in their living room. Told my friends and we looked and giggled, then one of my friends went up to the window and banged on it and we ran away.


kotran1989

My family owns a liquor store. We also live in a busy street. I was around 13. Next to my bed was a window that allowed me to see outside while still in bed. So, one night I was doing exactly that, and I see three drunken people (2 dudes and a girl) walking down the middle of the street, arguing about something. Suddenly, one of the dudes pulls something out of his pocket (which I now know ot was a knife of sort) and stabs the other dude in the chest (upper right part of the chest).... then came the blood, there was so... much... blood.... I called the ambulance and they told me to call the cops because they can't respond when it is unsafe. So I did, they came around 30 minutes after I called and the ambulance got there 10 minutes after that... the stabber-dude and the girl just ran away when it happened, like this wasn't the first time they saw themselves in that situation.


Punkakies

Did the dude who got stabbed live?


kotran1989

No idea. Police showed up and they called the paramedics. I was 13 at the time so I couldn't figure out anything from what I saw


AwkoTaco76

Text messages on a cell phone my mom gave me when she upgraded to a new one. She told my dad she wanted him to "pound her like a jackhammer" and "like a big black guy" I was in middle school and it's burned into my brain


Tajinaddict

My mom let me use her ipad that was logged in with her Apple ID. It was around christmas, so I went through her messages with my dad in hopes of finding out about presents, only to see a text that said “I can still taste you.” Never snooped through their messages again lol


loadedbakedpopaypo

When I was 6, I didn’t know how to spell soccer but I wanted to learn how to play. When I got home, I went on the computer and tried to go to soccor.com. Huge porn site at the time. .-.


Iggie_Chungu

I think the funniest part of this is that as a 6 year old you tried to look up soccer.com to learn how to play


TurdsforNipples

A Craigslist ad open on my father's laptop explaining that he is an excellent cocksucker. Pretended I never even saw that, hoping I would forget. Almost didn't post it here for the same reason.


TaiDavis

And is this ad running now?


Trapitha

My Grandpa sleeping sitting straight up with a remote control balanced on his head.


PoopStar5

I love this the most because I wonder why you feel it was a forbidden sight.


Trapitha

It felt like a private moment lol.


oliviughh

he wasn’t even present for his own private moment


Cervesaz

My dad sucking on my moms titty... I was 28.


thiswaspostedbefore

I saw Craigslist emails in my friends email account when helping him recover his Pokémon GO account once.... it was a response to an m4m ad. I never said anything about it because I know he isn't gay, but he's definitely bisexual and in the closet with it


Whoohoonutty_V

I once saw my Christmas presents early


Viking4Life2

See the thing about reddit is that I can go from reading about a guy who indirectly caused his mother's death, to this.


Bananabongs2

I was sitting on a futon watching tv in my dorm room next to my buddy. He was Snapping his gf and I look over and he just opened up a pic of her vajayjay she sent him out of the blue. I turn away instantly. He peeks over at me and I say “man this show crazy”. I think I fooled him


jukebox303

I like to think you were watching something really mundane like an HGTV type lol


MisteeLoo

A big pile of blow (like fist-sized) on the counter in the men's room at a corporate Christmas party.


Dr_who_fan94

I don't know, sounds like you and quite a few others were meant to see that.


BobBarkerzRaw

Walked in on my boss snorting a line of coke off a T-bone steak.


Haillnohails

I’m a teacher and was helping my student (12/13 year old boy) try and troubleshoot his Chromebook and get it working again. I always clear the cache and cookies because that usually helps, but because they are school computers you can’t clear the history. As I opened up the tab to clear the cache and cookies I see that his latest Google search was “how to kiss”. He knows I saw it, he looked so embarrassed. I am so glad we’re wearing masks so he couldn’t see me trying so hard not to laugh. ETA: I laughed because it was so unexpected and he definitely didn’t want a teacher or any adult really to know he was trying to learn how to kiss. It was just really wholesome.


arrowbread

Aw, in a thread with as horrifying stuff as this one has, that feels so sweet and wholesome.


trapcheck

During snowstorms the hospital I worked at would ask staff to stay overnight to make sure that if people couldn't get on the roads the next morning they wouldn't be under-staffed. Stiffs like me that worked maintenance got to go sleep in our offices on the floor. There was a suite for some of the Doctors and Nurses whose presence were necessary for long periods so they could take a nap but would be used for overnight sleeping during snowstorms. One of the Doctor's that stayed was a little "off." She was friendly enough but just seemed kind of over the top with it. After sleeping on the floor I was woken at 5 AM and told that I needed to get rooms that overnighters had slept in set up for patients. There had been a bunch of car accidents overnight and they needed the beds. First bed I went to pull the sheets off of something felt odd. I pulled back the top sheet and there was a collection of dildos, buttplugs and a container of lube. The sheets were heavily stained with feces and other bodily fluids. I immediately put the sheet back on and went to a nurse to tell her that the "personal effects" of whomever had slept there needed to be collected. She seemed confused and went in to check for herself. A moment later she emerged and hastily picked up the phone for an overhead page. As I busied myself in another room the Doctor that was a little off came jogging quickly down the hall and into the room with a gym bag. She left several minutes later. When I entered the room again she had stripped all the sheets from the bed and put them into the bin.


The-Lasso

My mom and sister were on vacation so it was me and my dad home alone. It was past my bedtime or whatever but I couldn’t sleep so I went downstairs to see what my dad was doing. As I’m going down, I see across my living room the silhouette of a woman walking by, I only saw it for a split second. So my dad came running towards me like “hey buddy hows it going, give me a hug!” He held me back so I couldn’t get past him to see who it was. I was hysterical because I thought it was my sister and they were playing a trick on me or something. My dad was quick to tell me “oh, you thought you saw a ghost! Let’s call your mom and tell her you thought you saw a ghost!” Years later my mom finds out my dads been cheating and now he’s married to her. That guy sucks


TommyChongUn

Awe this one made me sad.


icybikes

When I was in high school, I saw one of my best friend's mom naked. She hadn't expected us to arrive home, so she took a bath and left the door ajar. I was desperate to pee, so I went barging into the bathroom just as she was stepping out of the tub and stretching to reach a towel rack. I was terribly embarrassed and apologetic, but not entirely sorry.


kijim

It was in 1969. 10 years old living out in the country in NE Ohio. I was out in the back yard and herd tires screech and then a loud crash. went in the house and told my Mom to call the ambulance and I ran out and down the road a couple hundred yards to where the car crashed into a telephone pole. The guys head was laying in the ditch. rest of hid body still in the car (mostly).


HyFinated

I used to be a paramedic. I worked a call where a drunk guy was driving a convertible with his mom in the passenger seat. They exited the interstate at 80+ mph and hit a tree sideways. Mom's head was laying in the ditch. Dude was barely conscious. Crack in his pocket and a roll of hundreds. Got to the hospital and after a bit, his aunt shows up demanding they turn over his possessions. Police had already bagged it. She said (before she knew the police had it) "give me everything. Whatever he had in his pockets was mine. Give it to me." Started screaming that. Police showed up and was like, "oh, so the crack rock and the thousands of dollars associated with a drug crime (possession) are yours?" She changed her tune so fast. That was a wild call. But yeah, here's to us. To the few that have found a severed head after a car crash.


makuchistank

wtf thats traumatizing


AhFFSImTooOldForThis

I was 14 and working as the turn down girl in a fancy hotel (put out the chocolate and lay out the robe). I went to service a room, knocked several times before entering, and saw two extremely flexible people having very enthusiastic sex. I was a virgin and barely even understood sex, so I just kinda stared at them for a second before I realized what was happening! I shut the door and hung a spare Do Not Disturb sign on their door. I hope they didn't see me. I'm pretty sure they didn't; they were, uh, very focused. I've tried to recreate their positions from memory and I've never been in shape enough to do it. Good for them, but jeebus was I traumatized. Use the deadbolt *correction: security latch* on your hotel door, people!! Edit: you horny bastards. The best I can explain is: *standing* face to face but one of her feet was on his shoulder. Looked like an octopus escaping a mesh bag.


iamaperson-1

>they were, uh, very focused. "hey, did you hear that?" "no... why?" " i thought i heard something. ah well, it's probably fine!"


SixK1ng

*Arrow sticking out of neck mid coitus* "Must be the wind"


PartyAnimal24-7

My dad was cheating on my mom with a coworker. I was looking for a picture to send to my grandma for a Christmas card when his mistress texted him a question about what time they were meeting tomorrow. Curious, I scrolled up and saw a picture of her boobs with my dads response being “daddy likes” with an eggplant emoji and water droplets. I showed my mom the texts right after I finished throwing up. Edit: for those wondering, no, she never left him, he begged for her to not leave him and since she doesn’t have income or friends, she stayed.


catpiss-

My mother on face time with her boyfriend on her bed with her magic wand. Also my mother’s porn stash. Oh and my mother’s dildo drawer.


TheKrakenLord

Your mom seems to be a fun person


larrytherazor

A middle aged Chinese man taking a shit on the beach


Tkieron

Crossing the street on Poplar in Memphis (those of you that know it, know it) right near the homeless shelter. Old man crossing the street up a bit gets hit by a car. When he lands his skull just sort of opens up. His brains landed about 100 feet away from me on the pavement. He did not make it.


iph0ne

So much cheating. In HS I walked in on the manager of the cafe I worked in, feeling up the assistant manager. I'd gone down to the office to tell him his wife and daughter were upstairs. When I was 8 we were at my dad's colleague's house for brunch and I went outside to find my dad and caught him kissing his colleague. Turned out we were there because *they'd already been caught* and for whatever fucking reason, my parents thought that "all hanging out together" would fix things. The next thing I knew my dad's colleague was like, giving me a toy to shut me up but uh...I didn't quite get that? And spilled the beans the minute I was back inside. My parents stayed together, and then my mom caught him with the same colleague, 4 years later, because he's not very tech savvy and recorded half of a phonecall with her about their ongoing affair, on the answering machine. And then she was my step mom for 10 years and that was *really not fun*. Walked in on my best friend's girlfriend fucking some rando in their apartment while they were both supposed to be out of town and I was dropping by to water the plants. Admittedly...at like 2 am after having been out drinking all night, but I had permission and a key and she absolutely knew my presence was a possibility. Rando threatens that he's "a high powered lawyer" and I'm like "bro..." and then he threatened to kick my ass for breaking in and "scaring them", or something, but I'm just laughing hysterically at this asshole trying to threaten me in his situation. So I did the most dickish and smartest drunk thing I've ever done, and took a photo, with the flash (truly a Kodak moment), told her she had a week to tell my friend or I would. Old friend's mom made a video diary about cheating on his dad with multiple men, and left it in a box with all of our BMX tapes. One day I borrowed all the tapes for a school project...ya. Same friend getting pegged by someone who was not his girlfriend. Ironically, when I was cheated on, I did not walk in on it.


bennyr

Your life is some weird MTV reality show from the early 2000s


iph0ne

well, at least then I'd be rich. Maybe. a lot of this did take place in the early 2000's though.


DoctorCyan

POV: You are a reoccurring character in Shameless


TheOnlyPepromene

So did you tell your best friend or did she? What happened with that?


iph0ne

She told him, he messaged me saying "dude you did the right thing but tbh I dunno how I'm gonna react to seeing you right now I'll holler next week" exact words. Ish. So when I saw him he was like "dude it was just hard knowing you were there, I'm obviously not mad at you." And a few days later I helped him move out. She also apologized to me for not just telling rando dbag to shut up, and said "I knew I was fucking up." So hopefully she's a better person now.


badmofo1608

That sounds like one of the worst superpowers to get ngl


Im-Dead-inside1234

Mums vibrator(s) Help Oh also some sex tapes of my friends dad and his girlfriend. Oh and what makes it worse is they they used my friends trident (a toy that he used frequently in the childish fighting game we used to play) as both a dildo and like a wooden spoon. We both saw this as young children scrolling through the smart TVs files looking for a movie.


HorasAndJasper

Pics of my mother giving a bj to her drug dealer and screenshots of the conversation explaining my step father is a Cuck.


Bon_of_a_Sitch

The insides of my partner's abdomen during a C-section. I was told "don't look over the divider" and did anyhow. I was mortified for days. Don't look over the divider.


jdww213561

My dad (who is an EMERGENCY DOCTOR) looked over the divider when my mum was having her C-section, and promptly said “there’s more fat than I expected” before getting sick and turning away. He still hasn’t lived that one down


thexidris

Lmao, that's hysterical. Having worked in Central Sterile cleaning and reprocessing surgical instruments I can tell you human fat is the only thing that ever made me puke back there. I didn't even know it was going to happen, I just spewed all over the sink, my masks, and the instruments. I just drained and refilled the sink before changing all my PPE and my scrubs.


Peanuts-And-Whisky

I was two weeks into a new job, a Friday before a long weekend so most of the office left early or took the day off. By the end of the day, it was me and my project manager left. I let her know I was leaving but on my way out the door I forgot to drop off a document for my boss so I went back to my desk to get it. My boss was doing some renovations in his office so I couldn't just leave to document on his desk as usual. Instead, there was a table with a bin in one of the corners of the room. The table had a foldable room divider in front of it so I had to go behind it to drop off the files. As I'm standing there giving the files a quick look over, the project manager walks in. I see her, through the gaps in the divider, come in with a plastic bag, a roll of paper towel, and a roll of toilet paper. She then places some paper towel on the boss's chair, turns around, pulls her pants down and starts farting and shitting on the boss's chair. I didn't know what to do so I kept silent and hoped she didn't come to where I was. After she finished, she said "From one asshole to another," packed her shit up (literally, lol) and left. I waited until I heard the alarm arming sound before I ran out, disabled it, and waited until she drove away. ​ **TL;DR:** Hidden behind a foldable room divider, I watched my project manager take a shit on the bosses chair.