T O P

What social norm can fuck off already?

What social norm can fuck off already?

henry_sqared

Not talking about money. Money is most people's main source of stress and we treat it like a secret. Kids grow up clueless because their parents don't discuss salaries, bills, taxes. Coworkers build resentment over assumptions. I know spouses who dont see each others W2s. There's this huge part of our lives that we just keep from even friends and family and I dont think its healthy. I dont think people should brag or be shamed, but more open talk about money would help most people.


dntdrmit

Absolutely true. Bosses tell employees they are not allowed to discuss their wages with other employees. Not illegal anywhere to my knowledge. Divide and conquer. Budgeting should be a subject in every school. Ive seen 18 year olds in minimum wage jobs with loans for a new car. As soon as you turn 18, the banks pounce on you with offers of loans for items you don't need. They do it with a smile and then own them forever.


Agile-Mathematician5

Sweden, Norway, and Finland publish salaries of workers and they are often ranked as the happiest nations.


Jaredlong

After publicly traded companies became required to disclose their executive salaries, suddenly CEO pay started skyrocketing. Yet we're all supposed to believe the same wouldn't happen for us.


Lord_of_the_Canals

I don’t doubt this helps, but there is far more to having a happy nation than publishing salaries


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YesterdaySalt9464

Pretending to be happy-go-lucky all the time. Like, I'm still a good person even if I don't feel like smiling today.


[deleted]

"Smile, it could be worse!" Nothing is guaranteed to send me from ambivalent to proper pissed off faster than that awful phrase.


[deleted]

Oh, I always tell people. "Yeah well it could most certainly be better"


Latter-Pain

I just rob them. They never call the police because they realize it could be worse and just stay positive :)


Distinct_Eye_6856

Throwing huge expensive weddings that take months of planning and stress just to please the guests


Electronic_Speech563

Yes. This. My wedding reception was 25 people in a backyard. I'll never forget my sister telling me that I would forever regret not having a big wedding. I've never regretted it. Not for 1 second. Cost us $500, and that included the dress, suit, food and booze.


deffmonk

My brother's wedding was like this and it was so refreshing, even just as a guest. I actually got to spend time with them during the wedding reception


TatianaAlena

That sounds like a nice low-key wedding to me!


FancyCupONoodles

Did something similar! We had a courthouse ceremony and then rented out a room at our favorite restaurant. Immediate family and best friends - 25 people total and around the same budget. It was so fun and laid back!


lestatisalive

The smaller the better! Husband and i eloped after 12 years of being together, and we were already considered ‘married’. Spent $2500 on the whole thing - celebrant, outfits, wedding bands, photographer and permit for the beach (we got married on a stunning beach foreshore). Had the best time just the two of us.


awesomeCC

We’re pleased as long as we are fed and the booze is flowing and the church part isn’t too long winded. Other than that, as a frequent wedding guest, they’re kind of all the same at some point, so you’re special day really doesn‘t make for any special memory for the average guest.


[deleted]

A wedding should be a happy day, not a yearlong, stressful event.


elee0228

Sometimes couples can't avoid a big wedding. If they were a fruit, they'd be a canteloupe.


AlternativeEducator8

Had to pay for our own wedding and honeymoon so put the money where it mattered...open bar for the guests and two week trip to Australia for us!!


TheWesternDevil

Married at home with 1 guest as a witness. Been dating for 11 years so a wedding just seemed unnecessary. Everyone considered us married already.


Distinct_Eye_6856

Exactly! My husband and I invited only parents, grandparents, siblings, and one friend each. It didn’t last very long and we left for the honeymoon right after (with a stop through McDonald’s drive thru for some nuggets). To this day I don’t regret it! And to this day his mom is very upset we didn’t have a cake or reception.


death_blade01

I mean, any excuse for cake is good. Your wedding sounds like it was wonderful.


pancakes-r-4winners

This. My fiance's sister is doing a huge wedding with all the bells and whistles and hundreds of people on the guest list the whole nine yards. The more I hear about this frickin wedding the less I want one for myself because first of all it's ludicrous how insanely expensive this thing is just for a couple of hours when it should just be something intimate that you celebrate with your loved ones. Also nothing I can do will ever please the guests anyway so fuck them I'm not spending thousands of dollars just for my mother to tell me regardless of what I do, "but you didn't have a traditional wedding!" You should have seen her face when I said I'm not having a wedding cake because I don't like cake and my fiance is diabetic so why spend $2,000-3,000 on a cake that neither of us will even eat.


WhosThisGeek

If you know they're going to whine and complain no matter what, consider whether you really want them there at all, or if just having a quiet celebration with a few choice friends/family would make a better memory.


pancakes-r-4winners

That's the plan for us. Just something small. I love my mom but she's just old fashioned and I have told her multiple times it's my wedding that I'm paying for it you don't like how we do it I don't know what to tell you. I think she's more shocked than anything that as a woman I don't want a big fancy wedding just something casual which again is old fashioned out dating thinking.


funlovingfirerabbit

Holy shit 3 grand on a CAKE???


Lone_Digger123

When buying a massive cake apparently you shouldn't say it's for a wedding because the wedding tax. Same for a dress apparently. Don't trust me though since I'm a teenager and not looked into wedding stuff too much


Scout_Finch_as_a_ham

"I'd like to buy a cake that serves 175, please. Flowers, very elegant." "Ok, is that for a wedding?" "Uh, no. It's for my ... niece's ... 2d birthday party."


woodieboy

Not even the worst part. For years you will hear about "The Wedding." It never ends...


anyonecanbethebug

I would like to have a big and crazy wedding but only appease myself and everyone who doesn’t like the decisions I make can kick rocks.


lmatier

THANK YOU!! And the guests are never pleased! At least, they’re never pleased proportionate to the amount of blood sweat and tears that went into planning the damn thing. So why bother with any of it?


tallandlanky

Why would I be pleased? Going to weddings sucks.


lmatier

Lmao exactly!


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SarOnly

Fuck the guests, when I'm getting married it's gonna be our day to enjoy, not the day the guests enjoy


hiding-in-the-webz

My FIL is a baker, so when my husband & I got married, the in laws gifted us a wedding cake. Which was awesome. I told FIL I wanted a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting that wasn't fondant and no jelly filling and since it was an autumn wedding, some kind of autumn colored decorations if he wanted to do so, but really all I cared about was the actual cake. He'd done a million wedding cakes by this point in his life, so he felt like he should tell me what I wanted. Not everyone likes chocolate cake. Don't care, it's my wedding But you need to have an alternative. You're the baker, my dude, bake whatever you want as a side dessert. But you don't do that at a wedding. Okay, then chocolate cake with non-fondant chocolate icing. But what if someone wants yellow cake? Literally, not my problem. This went on for MONTHS. I think I'm the first person to beat my FIL in a battle of wills, because sure enough, come wedding day, there's my chocolate cake with chocolate ganache frosting that my MIL decorated with some of the fake flowers we used in the bouquets.


thesupplyguy1

agreed. my wife and I got married in the county courthouse by a judge. Cost us $50 and we went to KFC for lunch. Still married 20 years later (this Oct).


mutantandproud95

I think in general people not being open about what they are feeling/thinking is detrimental yet encouraged. I understand pride keeps us from sharing our feelings or insecurities but just think of how much easier communication would be if people weren't left to guess what a person's real feelings about situations or each other were


MaximusOfMidnight

The fact that "How are you?" is a generic conversation starter, regardless of how well you know the person, and that "I'm fine" is the default answer. And if you answer anything else, it has to be pretty broad, no gritty details


mariepyrite

I mean, I tend to just answer honestly with anyone who isn't a total stranger. "How are you?" "Utterly exhausted thanks. Yourself?" When delivered with a big sheepish smile usually gets a laugh, and people often start telling me about how their day really is.


WhosThisGeek

It'd also help if people weren't shamed and judged for their feelings. I've found myself repeatedly giving people the advice that whatever they're feeling is real, valid, and not somehow the wrong thing to feel in that situation, and that it's okay to have complicated, conflicted, and/or contradictory feelings on something.


IAmTheOneWhoPosts

I have found that there are certain topics Reddit is incapable of maturely discussing. Race, culture, and sex seem to be the big ones. If you try to discuss the inner workings of your emotions on any of these subjects, everything you say will be compared to the ideal rather than discussed the way you want


thebobbrom

This \^ You see so many comments about how people aren't open and judge themselves so harshly. Then you see someone open up and then if they show the slightest faux pas they're torn apart. Like... yeah I wonder why...


Kermit_the_hog

I see so much ‘*Ok, let me add to this discussion by telling you all the ways I’m better than you*’, but with more confrontational language 🙄


MaximusOfMidnight

>how much easier communication would be if people weren't left to guess what a person's real feelings about situations or each other were This is how I feel about a lot of people's complaints about their romantic relationships, crushes, etc. Like, just be up front? It's easier for everyone


[deleted]

Bluntness is awesome, oversharing is not.


noorofmyeye24

Strongly agree! It’s going to take many things including a generational change in parenting for that kind of progress to be made.,


cigarettechump

People throwing cigarettes wherever they want.


profishkeeping

same goes for just leaving drink can/bottles just on the sidewalk- like my firends always do this and then tell me i'm overreacting when i go pick it up to chuck it away cause their dumbasses are too lazy


dysnomia13

don't let your freinds tell you that, you're doing a great job! in germany it's the exact oppside, since we have pfand, so i always tell people to not throw away their bottles but to rather place them ontop or beside the bin, so homeless people can take them and exchange them for money, without needing to reach in the trash


profishkeeping

thank you! that also sounds like a great plan youve got going over there in germany- great to see so much active support for people in need!


cigarettechump

It’s alright, eventually they’ll learn if you keep telling them to just walk a little bit more with the cans and throw them in the trash


Psych0matt

To add to that nothing makes me more angry than when the person driving in front of me flicks they’re still lit and glowing butt out the window at my car


Marawal

My aunt used to do that. Years, and years of everyone in the family - who also were smokers - telling her not to do this and how disgusting and dangerous it was fell on deaf ears. Until one day, the butt came back by the backseat open window and started to slowly burn down her car seat. Now, she uses an ashtrey like any civilized people.


cigarettechump

I’ve seen people do that and it just... bro. We got enough problems...


VodkaMaster_EU

I'm a smoker and that makes me furious. Like true, I don't care about my health very much, but what I do care is my surroundings, and the people around me. I always put out a cigarette and then carry it to the nearest trash bin, because littering isn't cool. Also second hand smoke is disgusting, and it's the main reason why I only smoke at home, on my balcony. That way, I won't need to force anyone to breath in that disgusting shit, let alone if a child comes near or a pregnant woman!


cigarettechump

Thank you to a VodkaMaster from a cigarettechump :)


alijam100

I just wish all smokers were as considerate as you 😔


Jed1M1ndTr1ck

I was parking at a 7-11 one night when I saw a guy finishing up his cigarette on his way into the store. As he got to the threshold, he just tossed the lit cigarette butt behind him on the ground. There were two trash cans with the built in ash trays on top on either side of that door too. Infuriating.


SilverCipher752

Needing lots of experience for an entry-level job.


Jsuke06

Looking at you software companies


StaticMaine

I remember looking for an entry level developer position in 09 and every position wanted 3-5 years. It was a joke - I wonder if that was because of the economy and they knew they could hire experienced engineers for entry level pay. But we’re 10+ years out now and that trend never disappeared


fashionash

For real. I applied for an entry level job at my company that was in another department. I still got passed over for someone with more experience. I was rejected by people that I know and work with — for an entry level job. Maybe I’m a terrible employee and everyone knows it except me...


checker280

Needing lots of experience for entry level PAY


here4therants

Yes. I'm not an idiot and this job isn't rocket science. I'll learn


textmewhenyougethome

Hustle culture. The push to have multiple side jobs on top of your career to have multiple streams of income coming in. It’s one thing if you’re trying to pay off debt/save/etc. and it’s temporary, but belittling people for *gasp* working only 40 hours a week and not also a side gig is sickening.


WitchyWeebOfMidwest

Or if you tell someone you have a hobby and they say, “why aren’t you selling this? You could make so much money!” Because it’s my hobby and I do it to relax after work.


GhandisMcGonagall

This! As a musician. I hate this. I don't want to make myself a jaded product, let me have my fun.


moststupider

Good lord. Is this a thing?


Turnbob73

Go on Twitter and look it up if you want to have an aneurysm


Conservitard9824

Promoting it is the career of some on instagram. I once had a cousin who was literally a walking, talking, instagram post about hustle. He would only ever talk how hustle, income, hard work, etc. At some point I got really fucking annoyed because this guy still hasn't graduated high school and is living with his parents. In my opinion, you don't get the right to give out life advice and the secrets to success, when you're only 19 and still haven't done fuck all with your life. Save your advice for when you've made it.


[deleted]

Christ, this. I am so tired of everyone acting like I'm a piece of shit if I don't work myself to fucking death. My mental health can't take that shit.


theblanetappit

I dont wanna work more than 30 hours when I'm older tbh


[deleted]

I don’t wanna work more than 0.


DeathSpiral321

Many of the people with multiple jobs don't do it because they love working so much, but because they have to in order to survive. It's the culmination of 40 years of trickle down economics.


HerbertGoon

Twitter politics.


Jackarthur95

or just twitter in general


Geralt_Romalion

Guys having to make the first move.


Half_Smashed_Face

Yes! Imagine how many thousands of relationships that never happened because the guy didn't make a move because he's nervous and the girl didn't make a move because it's not the norm


hobbitdude13

I'd be ecstatic if a girl ever made the first move with me.


iamdaletonight

I think most guys would. I know I would. That’d make tf out of *any* of my days.


marumae

I'm a woman and I've asked out all my current past relationships, I'm rather aloof apparently and it's hard for guys to tell if I like them. So I make my interests known. Why wait?


Testmaster217

Introverted guy here. That sounds nice.


PretendThisIsMyName

A beautiful woman made the first move on me. I was very nervous. Turned that shit into a power play and married her. Travel was tough for a while when we were dating but since she moved to my country and we bought a house and made some small versions of us.


space_taco15

Making fun of people's hobbies.


boatboy1800

I feel that all the time. I enjoy building lego models. I know most sets are made for kids in mind but I find it relaxing and calming. I'm pretty silent about it because whenever people learn about it, I get the constant put downs and people reminding me that it is made for kids. So annoying.


HurricaneBetsy

You do you, man. Right on. Enjoy yourself. It's a great hobby.


SmartAssGary

I would to build more legos, actually. The problem is that I can't afford them lol


Marshmallow553

I felt that. If I tell someone I play Minecraft in my free time I am instantly judged. I am so done with people reminding me that _"MiNeCRafT iS FoR KiDs"_. Like bruh I know but are children building houses? Are they decorating? Are they creative? Can they solve a puzzle map? Are they thinking _outside the blocks?_ I DON'T THINK SO


DeathSpiral321

People thinking it's a badge of honor to never take a vacation day.


Bubbly-Brick

This. Unless you’re running your own business and it’s your passion you just come across as a complete idiot. Might as well say “I’ve neglected every meaningful area of my life and am a slave!”


zomboromcom

Insisting that employees work in person at a job that can 100% be done remotely, just because you can't imagine work not meaning butts in seats.


LoadBearingGrandmas

My company finally sent a bunch of us home through the pandemic. It's been about a year now and I'm gonna have to think long and hard if I'm gonna stick around if they try to call me back to the office. I can also list a bunch of reasons why they should be uncomfortable sending us home. At work they have software that can capture everything you do. They can walk around the floor and make sure you're not doing anything blatantly malicious. Now that I'm at home, I've got NetFlix playing on the TV. I have a PC on the same desk as my work computer and I play games/surf the web during calls and nobody knows. I could leave my work station unlocked where anybody could walk in and access sensitive company shit. I could write down customer's credit card numbers with no chance of being caught in the act. I could be having sex during a work meeting. I could be recording my calls to broadcast or replay however I want. I can tell them I had a power outage and take a nap. I happen to be a moderately responsible person who enjoys my freedom. I also lack the street smarts to steal and sell company data/access. But as demeaning as it is to be babysat at work, I can definitely verify there are valid reasons to do it!


RealMcGonzo

My office has been remote for over a year. When "we" return, we're not going back to personal cubes. All cubes are shared. You show up and pick one of the available ones. I swear the suits get together over drinks and cigars, and think "hey, how can we make the office rats even more miserable and save money at the same time?" "We" cuz I ain't going back.


effortissues

That is something that we need to work on, both as employers and employees. My Wife had an employee who adjusted insurance claims, when she worked from home, she clocked 92 hours a week to get her work done. When it came time to come back to the office she merely clocked 50 hours a week to get the same amount of work done. I agree with you on the premise. But humans suck and the few often ruin it for the many.


henry_sqared

Agreed. Some workers need supervision. That said, moving wfh to salaried work would solve a lot of that.


Nab_Mctackle

Or just fire the worker when they prove that they cant handle the work situation. The example above is just ridiculous and the employee remaining on the payroll is why they CANT have work from home.


Meattyloaf

To add a lot of people have grown to hte work from home. I know me personally I need the separation in space. Home is for home and work is for work.


FlameFrenzy

I can totally understand that perspective. I would love a dedicated home office (or at least a proper desk where I can set up comfortably!) But given the unknown of how long I'll be allowed to wfh, I haven't made an investment. Many of my coworkers have said they miss coming into the office and seeing everyone, as well as having their office set up. But for me, I'm more on the train of "If I never have to see some of your faces again, I'll be quite happy." But the key difference between you and I it seems is that I have the ability to just mentally switch between work and non work. I've kept my schedule from going into the office, so after my hours are over, work mind switches off, home mind switches on. Even if I'm being 'weird' that day and working from the couch or something not "work" like. Time is up and I'll move to goofing off immediately. Combine this with being able to do minor chores like laundry during the work day, run a quick errand during my lunch break, and not having to commute, my days feel longer and more fulfilling and I'm more awake and alert at work. My work did a survey where about 3/4 of the workforce (they say) wanted a hybrid approach, wfh some days, in the office others. I really hope this extends to allowing some to wfh all the time and those who want it to come in every day. But some days in and some days out sounds like hell to me. So the moral of my rambling is I hope employers understand what's good for some is miserable for others.


ketzcm

Gender Reveal. No one cares.


posh-old-bird

What confuses me is why bother making a such a big deal out of something that either way people are going to be happy about. No one is going to be the asshole who was pissed off by the gender when they aren’t the parent.


big-bruh-boi

Good that’s not a thing in my country


OgdruJahad

I heard at least 2 different stories of gender reveals going wrong and killing someone.


WhosThisGeek

"Let's have a big party to tell everybody about our baby's genitals!"


kwtransporter66

Then burn down the countryside.


ButternutSasquatch

The blue cake let's you know it's a penis! Eat up!


Atomic_Bottle

Actually fuck the cake. Let's start a wildfire.


Avidion18

men can't be raped needs to fucking stop, it's such a harmful lie and has caused so much harm and deaths it's a serious problem


Vinny_Lam

That everyone should have kids. Parenthood isn’t for everyone, and some people just can’t afford it. Plus, some people want to devote their life to doing something other than raising and taking care of kids. People should have the right to decide they don’t want kids without being called selfish or lazy.


GZB2007

Especially since I feel like there are a lot of people pressured into having children, and then they neglect them because they just didn't want children and don't understand how to care for them properly.


HoneyDishsoap

I work in childcare and people ask me constantly when will I start having kids of my own? Or tell me intimate details about their pregnancies because “you will need to know this”. I love kids, doesn’t mean I want one bothering me at home though.


DORIMEalbedo

My sister constantly pressures me into having kids and one of her arguments was "but you'll die alone and not have anyone to look after you". How selfish a reason to have kids. Like lady, I can barely take care of myself.


Lammyrider

yeah def not for me. i'm 51 and no one in either mine or my wifes families has kids out of 5 siblings on both sides.


SarOnly

Guys having to 'man up' instead of just being able to have feelings like any other person


SethProGames

I witnessed one of my teammates break their femur on a hit in hockey and didn't cry in the lobby with my mom because I wanted to man up. He was screaming the entire time and its something all of us wished we could forget.


Smoky_Cave

I was crying a while back because I was stressed and hardcore didn’t want to do something and my dad told me I needed to man up and grow thicker skin. We weren’t close at the time, but my mother (they’re divorced, by the way, she’s a saint) paid for me, my brother, and my dad to have group therapy and I told him that if he wants to see me, he needs to stop with the toxic masculinity. He’s backed off for the most part, although occasionally I’ll get a response that pisses me off.


MikeyMortadella

Idk if it’s a social norm, but balloon releases can fuck right off. You’re family member/friend/whoever is not going to see those stupid fuckin balloons when you release them. I will when I’m out in the ocean fishing though. The amount of time I see those balloons floating around 2-10 miles offshore drives me insane. It’s such a dumb concept and helium is already slowly running out and there’s no way to get more. We need it for actual MRI scans to diagnose actual issues, not cuz your cousin got shot or died in a car crash or whatever. Just have a normal funeral and stop fucking littering.


Dragon_Warrior57

Also a lot of marine life, primarily sea turtles, die from people doing this.


stitchgrimly

The helium situation is fucked up. There's no way it should still be available for frivolous public consumption. It's needed for much more than MRIs too. Look up how much is used in the LHC, or in NMRS. Anyway, no one seems to be doing anything about it and now they have to figure out how to mine asteroids.


craziedave

I drove hours down a dirt road to then backpack to the top of a mountain and found a couple birthday balloons near the top of the tree line. Idk why people think they just disappear or something.


johnkohhh

I actually did think they would keep going up until they burn up in the atmosphere or something. I've only ever lost balloons in the air by accident though.


kaidosaurus

thinking that no eye contact means you're not listening


Electronic-BioRobot

Well, sometimes I am not listening with the eye contact.


Dr_Stef

Tell that to my mom. Also make sure you keep eye contact when you do or she’ll bite your head of man


CharlieTuna_

I’ve always struggled with prolonged eye contact. I just think it’s an aggressive move. I think the only times I’ve kept eye contact was during arguments. In my mind just glancing eye contact is polite.


Lucerc

This man is a real life enderman


BiscuitBlackhole

I cannot look at someone and understand what they said. I dont know why. But its so infuriating and someone says look at me.


downhereforyoursoul

Not listening, or being dishonest. People need to get over thinking they can tell when they’re being lied to because they memorized a list of tricks and think TV shows are real. Studies show that no one can reliably tell when another person is lying to them based on observation of things like physical tics, body language, and eye contact, and the more confident the person is about their lie-detecting skills the *more* likely they are to be wrong. There are lots of hang ups about eye contact or the lack of it.


timeexterminator

I tend to listen better and remember more if I’m not making eye contact


Novaseerblyat

As somebody who finds eye contact extremely fucking uncomfortable, this times a hundred.


zzztoken

Telling your boss what your day off is for


Legendary-Pink-Dot

I second this! Why does it matter what I need to do? All they need to know is I’ve got stuff going on and I need off!


bestjakeisbest

Ties, ties can fuck right off.


HeavyGooses

If a genie gave me 3 wishes, I would resurrect the tie's inventor and kill them again, remove ties from current existence, and then end world hunger with the condition that if someone later reinvented/reintroduced ties, all the kids starve.


SealChe

The perception that a dad watching his kids is somehow "babysitting". He's a parent, he's parenting. While we're at it, he's allowed to watch his damn kids at the park without being judged and harassed by Karens.


ENFJPLinguaphile

I used to work at a private daycare and preschool. I hated it when some of the moms and/or my fellow teachers would crack jokes about dads. I would let it go if they followed up with, effectively, "Seriously, he's a great dad in each case." The ones that always bothering me were those who seriously picked on Dad's because I thought, "Hey, these dads are involved and they love their children! What's wrong with that?" I didn't have a great dad and admire the dads who really do step up to parent their kids especially!


DORIMEalbedo

I fucking can't stand bitter bitches. I had a shit dad and step dad growing up, but if I see a dad actually taking care of his offspring I find it incredibly adorable and think the kid is super lucky. Not "lol this guy is taking care of his child/ren? lol what a weirdo."


Chunlisundies

Acting like being an edgy asshole is cool.


Dexxygrl

The gender reveal thing.


SMF-69

That the only path is dating, marriage, house, kids.... rinse and repeat with each generation. Let people live however they see fit and stop judging them because they don't fit your ideal mold.


GodBerryKingofdJuice

I don't think rinsing and repeating it is a social norm...


SMF-69

Edited for clarity


LorthNeeda

1000% I even did the dating, marriage, house, kid. Now my wife and I are moving onto a boat to live a more adventurous alternative lifestyle and it’s crazy how it blows peoples minds. A lot of people prefer the predictability of their little box.


SMF-69

Good for you guys! I'm intending on retiring to central america at some point.


DeathSpiral321

Consumerism Judging people by what they own and owning a bunch of useless stuff just to show off is stupid.


reddicyoulous

I'd lump planned obsolescence with that.


kharmatika

People thinking I should make babies, and keeping me from the things I want because I’m not making babies. Kids are great, really. I think they’re great and I think it’s great people have them and I enjoy hanging out with them. I maybe even could see myself adopting a child eventually. But like, between my husbands extremely dangerous set of physical disabilities, and my mental disabilities, I’m not looking to pass BPD, Crohns, ADHD, and/or congenital heart defects onto a child. Ironically, no one took me seriously until I mentioned the C word. Had talked to multiple doctors about tubal ligation or hysterectomy. And I had had doctors go so far as to LAUGH. Dude chuckled and patted my arm and told me I would think differently at 30. Then I was like “but what about my husbands Crohn’s disease?” And he goes “oh your husband has crohns? Okay I can book you am appointment with a specialist”. Like BITCH WHAT?! THAT WAS THE MAGIC WORD?!


Murgatroyd314

I think the magic word in that statement was “husband”.


kharmatika

Eh, he knew I was married. He had been my doctor for several months


Toothlessdovahkin

As someone with congenital heart defects, I can relate with this feeling. I don’t want to pass it on to my (potential) kids. Not that I am currently in a position to have kids now, but theoretically speaking for me for sure.


siegewolf

Just to compare. I was under 30 when I got my vascetomy. I went to the specialist and he said, "This is permanent. If you're okay with that then let's schedule you for next week. I just need you to watch a video so you understand the procedure." I didn't need referals. I didn't need my SOs permission. I didn't need a psych evaluation done. Nobody questioned me. The hoops women have to jump through for choices regarding *their own body* is disgusting.


[deleted]

Social Media


lunar__raven

People who eat junk food and say "I'm being naughty, I shouldn't eat another" etc etc, with the standard expected response being "No you deserve it/treat/gym" etc. 1. I don't care what you eat. 2. You don't have to justify what you're eating.


theTinderess

Further that, those same people saying “oh, you’re so *good*” in a judgy way when others choose not to eat junk food. Like, my decision to not eat cake during office birthday celebrations has a hell of a lot more to do with my diabetes than it does with you, Karen. Stop projecting your insecurities onto me.


cloudcloudstormrain

The idea that in social settings we gotta be completely confident and fun all the time. Leads to everyone not accepting their other emotions and shunning from them, and it makes connecting with other people wayy more one-dimensional/not our true self


sugarbiscuits828

Taking pictures of people without their consent. I think it's incredibly violating. I've been the subject of creepshots at least twice that I know of, and I've also had my femalencoworker take pictures of me when I was working and send them to other people in the company, captioning them as "studious" or "slacking" depending on what I was doing at that very second.


donthugmebuddy

mutilation of baby genitals.


JulieJoy

That it’s fair game to comment about a woman’s: marriage stats, when she’s having kids, getting older, or all other invasive stuff when they hit their mid 20s. I recently turned 25 and my god. I had no idea that my prime was apparently over. But you know who doesn’t ask? My cat. I’ll go hang out with her.


Spasticwookiee

Single use plastics (water bottles, unnecessary packaging, bags, etc.). Also planned obsolescence and products designed to be unrepairable.


Lumehs

Paying tips, why don’t they pay their damn employees. I’m not even American


JokicCheeseburgerMan

I think tipping should be a thing, but *only when it's actually because you appreciate the service.* Pay your damn employees, and allow tips to be optional.


mackenzie_X

spending a third of your life at work in order to survive


Tunabaked

People asking what you do for a living when you meet them.


ThemChecks

Driving rather than having good public transport.


AnderHolka

Yes! We can't all have parents who have cars. Actually, let's extend this because when I was looking for jobs, so many of them said driver's licence required. This is part of why poverty becomes intergenerational.


SilentHill43

Every time I see a ad of food related for gamers. It's the most unhealthy thing ever. Not all gamers like doritos and mt. Duo. Like come on that was a meme in 2012. Its a joke no one chugs that crap and snacks. Its become a common thing in ads now. That "gamers" are unhealthy people with no sense for eating right. That needs to stop.


effortissues

I'll just see myself out...


[deleted]

When I game, I eat boatloads of pistachios. Like, a pound in one sitting.


sosogos

That sounds like an entire days calorie intake and very sore fingernails.


Creamofzucchini

One of the reasons I love video games is that I eat way less during my downtime than I would if my hands and brain weren't engaged


yParticle

Gerbil rustling. They're not your gerbils. Leave them be.


SnakesParadox

I have no idea what you're on about but I'm compelled to give you an up vote from some reason You earned it... I think?


AGmabe

No idea what the duck gerbil rustling is but I’m on board with this guy to stop it.


UserOrWhateverFuck_U

Expecting everyone that gets married to have kids. Living without kids is a lot of fun and relaxing.


Back2Bach

Obligatory baby showers: Those invited often feel obligated to attend and to buy expensive baby shower gifts, even though they'd rather have no part of it.


Bethjam

Wearing a bra


Jimhollandaise

Women having to always appear like they have no body hair. It’s a waste of my time, money and energy, it’s annoying in every way to be constantly removing it, and it’s not unhygienic or men would have to shave everything too. And guess what, WOMEN have body hair. Boils down to the fact that it’s wrong for anyone to feel like they have to alter their body to fit social norms.


[deleted]

The only reason I shave is because I like to feel like a smoove ass baby dolphin. But I feel this. Lol


c_girl_108

I actually hate the way body hair feels. It really bothers me.


misslemon9

Looking down on people who do what are considered "social" activities alone, be it traveling, dining, going to the movies, etc. People need to stop seeing this as weird, freaky or sad or that it means you're lonely and miserable.


Insectshelf3

people pretending they have depression just because they had a bad day. i don’t want to toot my own pity horn, but depression is awful and i wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. it’s not a joke, it is a soul crushing and cruel trick the universe plays on people that don’t deserve it.


washurhandzudettypig

Toxic relationships


SharedRegime

Hating people cause of the way they look or identify as or who they have sex with. ​ Go ahead and tell me this isnt a norm.


disco1013

Fucking gender reveal partys, who cares!


juiceweaseltwo

That being old equals being wise. If a dumbass somehow avoids getting hit by a car or getting cancer for seventy years that does not equate to wisdom. Stupid people often grow into stupid old people


GoldenSquishmellow

Not being able to adjust a wedgie.. like they are so uncomf


WinnipegWiley

Media cranking the anxiety to 11. I get it, you sell more soap when people are scared. But it just keeps getting more and more, to the point I can’t even turn on a tv or watch a feed for more than a half hour before it all becomes overwhelming. Where’s the kitten channel? Man I wish YouTube didn’t suck now...


PlazTM

Spending the majority of our lives slaving away for corporate profit instead of enjoying it. 9-5 5 days a week needs to go. We need 6 hour work days, 4 days a week, $40 minimum wage.


[deleted]

The idea that working more than 40 hours a week and still not being able to afford rent is the norm


[deleted]

As a man it appears most times I take my daughter to the park I get stink eye from the other moms that are there I am not there to ogle you or your kids, I am there to spend quality time with my kid so you can all fuck right off


its_Nayeli

Needing experience in an entry level job


c0mplexx

For the love of god can we stop being scared of skin (nudity or close to it) this isnt the 19th century anymore


TerpBE

1. Shaking hands. 2. Trying to show off by squeezing someone's hand as hard as you can while shaking hands.


meetmeinthebthrm

Came to say this. I really couldn't agree more. I don't want anything to do with most peoples hands.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThePoetZiggy

Taking someone's statement, and inferring it to the most extreme, off the wall shit, just to make some kind of weird, personal point.


memes56437

The idea that men and women can't be platonic friends. They absolutely can and should be.


4018x

choosing to sort by best instead of controversial on these types of threads