By - Kadett21
I become irate when I hear Elton John sing:
“Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids. In fact, it’s cold as Hell. And there’s no one there to raise them if you did.”
So there’s no one there to raise them if you raised them on Mars... 🤔
"My best friend shoots water rats and feeds them to his geese. Don't you think there's a place for you, in between the sheets?"
“Dora the explorer, bitch look good for a four-year old”
Why don't you have a seat?
Filthy Frank is cheating man, especially from that album:
>Please stop calling me gay. I touched a willy in high school but it was just a little mistake
>It's so small that I piss on my balls
Or the song where he literally just gives directions to a dog eating festival
セックス大好き is a fucking banger.
"Mami got an ass like a donkey, with a monkey
Look like King Kong, welcome to the crib."
-Pitbull, I Know You Want Me
“I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain't even know it”
IIRC Rick Ross lost his Reebok endorsement deal after that one.
Yes! "put molly all in her champagne, she ain't even know it"
Couldn't believe what I heard, had to rewind it and listen again. I haven't listened to him since. A very rapey lyric
Well, I don't care if you're just thirteen
You look too good to be true
I just know that you're probably clean
There's one little think I got do to you
Jailbait Ted Nuget
When older folks complain about something like WAP I like to point out how many of their songs are about sex with underage girls. She's *sixteen* Ringo. You're 33. Calling the 15 year old girl "young and clean" is a *bit* of a red flag, KISS. You literally named the song "Young Girl" Union Gap. Etc.
Edit: apparently it's originally the rolling stones. I only ever heard the johnny winter version
Johnny winter has a song "stray cat blues" that's all about fucking a 15 year old and telling her to invite her friend
I can see that you're fifteen years old
No I don't want your I.D.
And I've seen that you're so far from home
But it's no hanging matter
It's no capital crime
"I pissed myself" - Rick Ross
“I’m the shit, I’m constipated.” Is another memorable/questionable Rick Ross lyric.
Lil Wayne-The only time I will depend is when I'm 70 years old. That's when I can't hold my shit within, so I shit on myself. Cause I'm so sick and tired of shittin' on everybody else.
I get what he’s doing lyrically but Jesus Christ.
Also lil Wayne “yes I’m the shit, gotta defecate to conversate”
Don’t forget the golden Kodak verse “I’m the shit I’m fartin”
"Put Molly all in her champagne, she ain't even know it
I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain't even know it." - Rick Ross
Is he talking of spiking her drink then raping her?
That's fucked up.
EDIT: Never had more than a dozen upvotes before. Amazing
Yup. He got his multimillion dollar deal with Reebok pulled after that.
And I just dropped some new merch and it's selling like a god church
#**ENGLAND IS MY CITY**
# PANERA IS YOUR HOME
Putting It's Every Day Bro lyrics is basically cheating
"Her body smoking. Bet she die from cancer"
I looked this up and got Centers of Disease Control and Prevention videos.
“Let me Hit it” by Sporty-O
This feels like sacrilege because they're my all time favourite band but 'I like your BMX-cellent tits'
Everybody likes to bag on this lyric but is she wrong at all??? If I saw a ghost I would shit. I'd *much* rather have some toast
Here's the thing, I have IBS. The ghost may make me shit myself, but *so may the toast*. And yeah, maybe I'll somehow die due to the ghost, but my IBS pain makes me wish I was dead sometimes, so which is actually worse? At least the ghost is something **new**, y'know?
I don’t know about worst but I got the best
“Can you quack? Can you quack like a duck when we fuck? Can you take every inch up your butt? Can you fart on my balls for good luck? Can you quack?...”
It only works when you have your package swinging in a g-string.
"one day one day I was really really really really sad :(" from a song by an adult.
Is the frowny face part of the lyrics?
"one day one day I was really really really really sad colon left parentheses''
well let's pretend
Still not as bad as the Christmas song she released with Liam from One Direction:
> Now we're on the naughty list
> Must have been the way we kissed
> Santa saw the things we did
> And put us on the naughty list
Implication being, I guess, that Santa watched them fuck and then decided they were too depraved for presents
what song holy shit
That honestly is one of the worst songs I've ever heard. It doesn't even sound like she is trying, she just knows it's gonna get millions of streams. It doesn't even have that campy "it's so bad it's fun to listen to" quality.
I don’t think anyone has ever pointed out these lyrics but in No Questions by Rich the Kid:
Told my momma ain’t no stressin
Now I’m flexin, she just sucked me ain’t no texting
I don’t think those are supposed to be related but yeah not really thought out lmao
His mum sucked his cock? I kinda get why they’re not texting each other after that.
"I got nipple on my titties,
As big as the end of my thumb.
I got something between my legs,
That'll make a dead man cum."
Shave 'Em Dry by Lucille Bogan (1924)
[Edit] Christ that's a lot of awards and upvotes. Thanks
I believe it’s the “dirty blues” genre - just learned about that recently.
I thought the question was worst, not best
The og WAP
That is certainly the most surprising thing I’ve seen in this thread.
The Lucille Bogan version, although the best known, was recorded in 1935. The original version recorded in 1924 was by Ma Rainey
I just googled it and listened to it. Oh my.
It’s surprising how little that type of slang has evolved over the years. Most slang from that era died off ages ago, but amazingly everything in that song makes complete sense and I wouldn’t have been surprised if it came out this year.
"I'll bend you over and tie you up to a pole, and stretch your nuts back and fling em up your butthole"
Of course it's ICP.
ICP is basically cheating in this thread
Never heard of ICP before. I'm off to Spotify to hear this.
Wow, I wasn't expecting that.
Oh God why did nobody warn this person.
Well while you're at it, dating game is pretty funny.
Whenever my wife introduces me to somebody new I put on that voice, introduce myself, then say "Ladies call me 'Stretchnuts'"
Are you a psychopathic derranged crackhead freak?
"She was a cheerleader, a real young bleeder"
I always thought the line was "a real young breeder".
Not that that's any better.
Didn't he like adopt a 16 year old he was fucking so she could travel with him?
I think I might have to go with the one that makes me cringe whenever I hear it play at my folks' place or something, from Train:
> My heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
Their 'Drops of Jupiter' becomes real damn weird and Oedipal when you find out it's about his mom, too.
Every time I hear a Train song when I’m around my wife, I sing it but add “my untrimmed chest” no matter which song it is.
She ~~loves~~ hates it.
When I worked at a grocery store, I came up with a foolproof plan to determine if a song is by Train:
1. Does it sound KIND OF like Train?
2. Listen to the lyrics. If they make no fucking sense, it's DEFINITELY Train.
The only time this method failed me, it turned out it was a song by some guy named Pat Monahan.
Pat Monahan is the lead singer of Train.
thank you for curing my lifetime of depression
> Oh, I swear to you, I'll be there for you,
This is not a drive by
>Just a shy guy, looking for a two-ply Hefty bag,
To hold my love
>When you move me, everything is groovy,
They don't like it sue me, mhmm the way you do me
God I fucking hate Pat Monahan
The Hefty Bag line is definitely my answer to this thread.
I came here and ctrl-F "untrimmed".
God that's the worst line. And it's a pretty song, but holy crap.
"Now see that gerbil, grab that tube
Shove it up my butt
Let that little rascal nibble on my asshole, uhh
Yeah, right there, right there
Ahh, I'm cumming, oh, yeah
Fack, I just came again." - Eminem
It gets even better, "I think he's still crawling around up there Oh fuck I think it's stuck but it feels so fucking gooood"
Was wondering how long this would take to appear
Im not gay I like boobs boobs
Whoops, I mean girl. Girl girl girl.
Shove a gerbil in your aaa-ass thru a tube
Fack is what happens when a wildly popular artist who can basically release anything they want to starts abusing ambien all day
"Fack" is what happens when Dr Dre leaves Eminem unsupervised.
Someone up above said that he released that song because people stole his work and released it to the internet without his permission
“She said she pregnant I told her let me fuck so I can feed the kids.”
Not far off from Tyler the creators “rape a pregnant bitch and tell my friends I had a threesome.”
Good God , wtf?!
Tyler was a whole different breed when he started out. Now he raps about flowers. That’s character progression.
I mean Tyler’s last album had a song about murdering the girl that his boyfriend left him for, dude still has some dark content.
Yeah but compare anything to Flowerboy or Igor to anything on Goblin and its no competition which is darker in sound
"And if you got a daughter older than 15, I'ma rape her" from DMX. Can't believe the shit people will say.
'I got blood on my hands and there's no remorse,
I got blood on my dick cos I fucked a corpse....'
X is crazy
I guess X really is gonna give it to ya.
DMX is batshit insane. Theres a reason he barks at the beginning of his songs...
I was just gonna say that DMX is so crazy that no one really knows what to make of his lyrics.
By and large, people knew what to make of this lyric: he was rapping from the perspective of a fictional hitman, as he often did.
Appalling line nonetheless, but that's the context.
Wait, are you going to tell me that Johnny Cash didn't shoot all those guys either?
Hold on a sec. Did Carrie Underwood NOT actually take a Louisville Slugger to both tail lights?
Weird Al did not actually order one dozen starving crazed weasels.
The Notorious B.I.G. did not in fact slit the wrists of little sis after she sucked his dick, and also did not stab her brother with an ice pick.
Want to know the sad truth about why he barks?
When he was 14, he began wandering the streets of Yonkers to escape his mother's abuse, and eventually found comfort in befriending stray dogs that walked the streets at night.
He is now a pastor and a father of fifteen kids. He had several teenage daughters at the time he wrote the offending lyric.
tldr; he was bitten by a street dog which gave him special barking powers
Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow
Honey got some boobies like wow, oh wow
"I find the most erotic part of a women is the boobies." - Kif Kroker - Zapp Brannigan
> Honey got some boobies like wow, oh wow
Did a middle schooler write that line for him?
My thought exactly.
That song is catchy but hearing a grown man say boobies is not attractive
My son, when he was little, used to sing "Thomas got some movies like wow oh wow" instead of Honey got a booty like wow oh wow. I'd say that would be a better lyric choice in my opinion lol
Now, boys, the network has a problem with some of your lyrics. Do you mind changing them for the show?
Forget you, clown.
Yeah, our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.
Well, okay, but here where it says, "What I got you gotta get and put it in you," how about just, "What I'd like is I'd like to hug and kiss you."
Wow. That's much better.
Everyone can enjoy that.
Her pussy so good I bought her a pet- Jason Derulo
That whole song is a fucking goldmine
*Been around the world, don't speak the language. But your booty don't need explaining*
“If the light is off, then it isn’t on” - Hillary Duff (So Yesterday)
Well she ain't wrong!
I'm serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer
Snap! Rhythm is a Dancer, 1992
Cannot believe how far down I had to go for this. We had our own version when we were kids:
Rhythm is a Dancer
Smoking gives you cancer
Needles give you HIV
Rats will give you rabies
Shagging gives you babies
Used condoms only 50p.....
You just covered 4 weeks in a health class with that
"Me not working hard? Yeah, right, picture that with a Kodak
Or better yet, go to Times Square take a picture of me with a Kodak "
pitbull be like: fuck what rhymes with kodak
Old plaque? Hold back? Mold's whack? Cold stack?
Fuck it, just use Kodak again, no one will notice.
Do sponsored lyrics really count?
They count double. They are horrible by definition.
Kodak. Camera. Cameras have shutters. Shutters are also blinds. Blind? Blinding light. Light is electromagnetic energy. Electromagnetic energy causes aurora borealis. Where can you get the aurora borealis in the United States? Of course... Kodiak, Alaska
The internet (historian) is a wild place.
"She blow that dick like a cello"-Lil Yachty
The cello, being the a stringed instrument
“OK, let’s stop for a second. Before you come at me, I’ma let you know. I’ma blame my A&R. Because he listened to that song many times and he allowed me to say that. I guess for a second, I thought a cello was a woodwind instrument and it is not. And nobody ever said shit. Nobody ever pulled up a pic and said, ‘Hey man. I don’t know if you know what this is, but it ain’t that.’ I fucked up. I thought Squidward played the cello. He don’t. That’s a flute. I fucked up. But it do sound good.” — Lil Yachty, not making things much better.
The best part of this quote is that Squidward actually played the clarinet
He should keep the rhyme and change the lyric to oboe
Or said "stroke the dick like a cello"
Yes but also that would not be accurate...
For you see she did not stroke the dick, she blew it.
Which would honestly be a better compliment, as double reed instruments, like the oboe, are notoriously difficult to master.
I love that he owned the mistake though. He could have tried to bullshit that it was an artistic decision and made up some imagery or irony that he was going for but, no, he just straight said "I fucked up and no one had my back"
EDIT: I get that he called out his A&R for not picking it up. What I'm saying is he admitted it *was* a mistake. He didn't blame A&R for the mistake, just for not telling him.
“I don’t know if you know what this is, but it ain’t that.”
I’m dead 😂
What's actually incredibly hilarious is that the artist has talked about this. He was like 18 when he wrote that song and genuinely thought a cello was a woodwind instrument. Like it was just one of those glaring knowledge gaps that you don't realize you have until you say it out loud in a group and everyone stops and stares. He says he thought a cello was like the instrument Squidward plays on SpongeBob. And his production team, no one mentioned anything and it wasn't until after the song came out that he realized he was so incorrect on what a cello was, he makes a lot of jokes about it.
Which I find hysterical honestly.
I think Morrissey (used to) write some pretty good lyrics, but he also wrote shit like,
>Some girls are bigger than others
>Some girls are bigger than others
>Some girls mothers
>Are bigger than other girls' mothers
Johnny Marr was angry about this because he thought Morrissey was wasting one of his best riffs
Throw away your man, he's dispersible.
"Fucking magnets, how do they work?"
"Water, fire, air, and dirt
Fucking magnets, how do they work?
And I don't wanna talk to a scientist
Y'all motherfuckers lying, and getting me pissed"
That whole song is a comedy classic, lol.
Great line. I took an Electricity & Magnetism Course in College and this was something we would yell every time we didn't understand some magnetism concept, which was often.
Suck a camel’s dick
Suck a hyena’s ass
Suck a male caribou’s cock
You can't bring Wesley Willis into this conversation because he'll win in every category.
"The chicken cow is 20 feet tall, it's beak can break glass, it can even bite you in the ass."
Wesley Willis is a god. Don’t sully him.
Rock over London, Rock on Chicago.
Polaroid. See what develops.
"Batman got up and beat the hell out of me! He was being such a jerkoff.
I WHOOPED BATMAN'S AAAASSSSSS!!!!"
Suck a polar bear’s funky ass. Suck racehorse’s cock with Heinz Tomato Ketchup.
Always in our hearts.
Western Union, the fastest way to send money worldwide.
Sounds like Wesley Willis
Many years ago when I was in highschool and burning CDs and Kazaa were popular, I had a little bit of space left over on a CD and downloaded what I thought was "Enter Sandman" and burned the CD with it as the final track. The next morning I went on an errand in my dad's car and put it in his CD player, only listening to the first few tracks before I came back home.
On Monday morning I went into my dad's car to get the CD so I could listen to it in my CD player and it wasn't there. I asked him about it when I got home to which he informed me, disgusted, "Oh you mean that 'Suck a camel's dick' CD? I threw it out the window! We don't need that trash in our house."
I was entirely confused but wasn't going to question my angry dad about it. Later on the song came up on Winamp and I realized that although titled, "Enter Sandman" some joker just renamed "Suck a camel's dick" by Wesley Willis. I tried to tell my dad but he was unconvinced it was an accident. He still gets mad if I bring it up today 20 years later, lol.
I was going to put "I smell like I sound" but after reading the other lyrics in this thread, it doesn't seem so bad.
Edited: Thank you for the awards, kind Redditors! I am thoroughly enjoying the lively discussion of a song that's nearly 40 years old and still has people wondering what they're talking about!
Until now, I thought that lyric was "I smell like a sound," which also doesn't make any sense lol
Who can relate? WOO!
I can't believe I had to scroll this far for this. I always wondered why he's so excited about suicide.
Train - Soul Sister
“I’m so gangsta, I’m so thug”
As he wears a fedora and tank top while playing a ukulele
Edit: I understand that he’s probably being sarcastic, but my fiancé pointed it out when we first started dating and it never ceases to make me laugh whenever I hear it
“I’m so gangsta, I’m so thug” as he’s actively performing in the band Train.
I feel a hunger.
It’s a hunger.
actually the next line is "it's a hunger that tries to keep a man awake at night"
"Yeah, you got that yummy-yum, that yummy-yum, that yummy-yummy. Yeah, you got that yummy-yum, that yummy-yum, that yummy-yummy. Say the word, on my way Yeah, babe, yeah, babe, yeah, babe. Any night, any day. Say the word, on my way. Yeah, babe, yeah, babe, yeah, babe. In the mornin' or the late. Say the word, on my way"
That right there folks is the chorus to a Grammy nominee. (Yummy by Justin Bieber)
Five people share writing credit for ‘Yummy’.
One for each letter?
Well, if so, two of them just straight up copied from the others!
So, he's circling right back to his "Baby, baby, baby" days but choosing a new word...
The fact that this poor excuse of a song was nominated for a Grammy disgusts me to this date.
The whole fucking bedrock by young money
“And I got her n***a....... grocery bag”
Thank you, Gudda Gudda
No Stevie wonder
"I exchange v-cards with the retards" from Every Girl is a young money favorite of mine lmao
I mostly remember the song because of Nicki Minaj saying “Pussy on your sideburns” which sounded like the dumbest proposition I’ve ever heard.
Needless to say, the next track I heard her on was “Monster”, which was a complete 180 considering it was an absolutely phenomenal verse.
Some of them try to rhyme but they can't rhyme like this
Some of them try to rhyme but they can't rhyme like this
Some of them try to rhyme but they can't rhyme like this
Some of them try to rhyme but they can't
*-Kris Kross: Jump*
*puts jacket on backwards*
“She had dumps like a truck” - Sisqo, Thong Song
Pitbull rhymed "kodak" with "kodak" and did so because he was paid money for the product placement.
If I worked for the Kodak company I would have asked for my money back.
I’m the shit I’m fartin, don’t know how to potty-Kodak black
A Pizza Hut a Pizza Hut
Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut
I'm at the Pizza Hut. I'm at the Taco Bell. I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.
[Just in case there's anyone who hasn't seen this *thing*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOC9d17vASc)
That lyric isn't even the worst thing about it. Where do I fucking begin.
- There are meant to be three "fast food rockers" but there are very clearly more than three voices in the song.
- There's a line between two verses where one of the rockers winks at the camera and says "any sauces?", this provides incontrovertible proof that god has abandoned us.
- A lot of the pre-chorus is very clearly meant to all be sexual innuendo, and yet in the video it is sung to someone's fursona which is a giant blue dog.
- That same furry later commits a hate crime by punching a black guy. The black guy wasn't even originally there for any other reason, he's just randomly in the video *in order to be punched by a furry* and then is never seen again.
- The whole concept is clearly a low rent version of the vengaboys, which is a sentence I never thought anyone would ever have any reason to say.
- THE LIP SYNC ISN'T EVEN CORRECT IN THE FUCKING *VIDEO*
- There's a [German version.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzOJ3GtfTgM) which for some reason features MOTHERFUCKING BAGPIPES IN THE SAMPLE. This is the worst thing any German person has ever done, and yes that includes *that* German person.
(Also for some reason I remember this song being at Eurovision, but after some googling that's apparently a false memory?)
You can take that cookie and shove it up your ass - limp biz kit nookie
"Monday, toosday, wensday and fursday, friday, saturday, saturday to sunday" - Black eyed peas I got a feelin.
I like the song, its upbeat and catchy. But my god that line is fucking dumb.
Party every day puh puh puh party every day
Their songs are catchy but pretty much all the lyrics suck lol
Me not working hard?
Yeah, right, picture that with a Kodak
Or better yet, go to Times Square
Take a picture of me with a Kodak
It makes me wonder if Pitbull just stands around time square offering to have his picture taken
“I’m sorry, is that a Nikon? That’s not happening.”
“La di da di da, slob on me knob. Pass me some syrup, fuck me in the car. La di da di da, mothafuck the law. Chitty chitty bang, murder everything.” - Future
BITCH IM ON A ROLL AND I PUT THAT ON THE GAME
MISS ME WITH THAT BS
YOU AINT REALLY WILD YOU A TOURIST
I BE BLACKIN' OUT WITH THE PURIST
I MADE 500 HUNDRED THOU' THEN I FREAKED IT
I BOUGHT AN ‘87 FOR THE WEEKEND
THIS AIN’T WHAT YOU WANT
sir this isn’t the thread for the best lyrics. you’re clearly mistaken.
Hey hey hey. That shit won a Grammy. Show it some respect.
And the falsetto high pitched voice, makes me laugh every time!