Some time in the early seventies. I was working in a small hamburger joint. Noticed two guys in army fatigues coming through the drive through. I went running up to the window and was like "Hey! You guys are in the army? I'm fixing to join the army too!" Got about a five minute lecture about how stupid I was if I did, how they fucking HATED it, and how if I liked being told what to do ALL the time to go ahead, but otherwise not to. I called the recruiter the next day and told him I changed my mind.




The Angels movies got weird later on. Never thought "Angels at the First Window" would work so well.


The Army life is based on how lucky you can get officers and 1st Sergeants who actually give a fuck about their company then you got those Sergents and officers who strive to dictate the whole unit. I met the nicest and the meanest.




“I could make him PT for two hours for his hair buttttt I have tickets to that KPop show, and you know I love those little butts”




I'm a Navy veteran and I can tell you you made the right choice. It has nothing to do my own service. I found it to be a good experience. You made the right choice for you because you had the maturity to look past something superficial and listen to what you were being told. Army recruiters love to let potential recruits try on the uniform, see what it feels like, it's all about promoting a desire to want to be a soldier, but ignore what it means to be in the Army. I think the military is great choice for some people, but it 100% is not for everyone. Recruiters target seniors in high school who have no plan after after graduation, don't have alternatives in the community that are desireable, and want to wear a uniform. Believe me, I know it feels good. Walking around Philadelphia after the Army/Navy game in the mid 2000s when Navy was on a roll, I couldn't pay for drink or a meal in my dress blues. No one knew all the things I had to give up for it: I missed holidays, I delayed settling down, delayed my career somewhat. For me it made sense because of what I gained. It's not for everyone.


I took some entrance test for the Navy when I was still in high school. The recruiter said he could get me anywhere in the world working as a machinist and not on a boat if I didn't want to be. My father, a Vietnam Vet, forbade it and said absolutely not.


My dad was a Korean War vet and basically said not the army and don't go in as an enlisted man. Eyes weren't good enough to be a pilot although I got those certs as a civilian.


My dad was Korean vet too. Navy saw first testing of the H bomb


My uncle saw some test in the south pacific. With eyes closed and eyeshades on and his hands covering his face, he saw the x-ray of his hands....


I don't think they gave my dad glasses. But fuck his job was to wrap asbestos around pipes in the engine room to keep them cool. Safety was different back then


Same. When taking the ASVAB there was a simple spelling error on the test and a simple Pythagorean theorem question that didn’t even have the right answer in the test. My recruiter told me the average test score for the area was 17. I scored a 97. He then proceeded to tell me I could be a nuclear technician on a submarine with that score. Come to find out women still weren’t even allowed on submarines. Their desperation, lies, and ineptitude turned me off the whole thing.


When was this?




That's pretty shocking. I was expecting to hear late 70's early 80's.


Subs just got women because they weren’t exactly designed with girls and boys facilites


To be fair, you could have still been a nuclear operator. It would have just been on an aircraft carrier.


Yeah they pulled this shit with me too. My scores were so high they told me I could work on satellites in Cape Canaveral. My Dad (Navy, Vietnam) took me aside and told me how much bullshit they feed you just to get you in the door. If someone's gonna lie to a kid to get them in the door, how you think they're gonna treat them once they've locked themselves in?


> Come to find out women still weren’t even allowed on submarines. Not to mention the military's terrible track record with sexual assaults. >Another investigation found that one in five women in the United States Air Force reported having been sexually assaulted by service members. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_assault_in_the_United_States_military


One if fucking five, and sexual ASSAULT not harrassment?? Wow!


As a former military member I would wager it's probably closer to 5/5 for harassment and I believe the 20% stat for assault.


I aced that test too and they told me the same story back in the early 90s. Fortunately the idea of being in a submarine did not interest me so I went to college and became a stoner for awhile. Must work on some people if they were still pulling that crap years later


I had a similar experience to this. Took the ASVAB in a small rural town, was told I scored wayyy higher than everyone else. A friend who already committed to the Navy said they were interested in me and wanted to talk. Told me I could be a nuclear engineer for them and would make the most money out of any of the options (I am also female but didn't know anything about the no women on submarines thing). I only turned it down because I already knew what I wanted to go for in college and it wasn't engineering


I started getting calls from recruiters after I hit the ACT out of the park. My father, also a Vietnam vet, told them to stop calling. He wasn’t going to let his daughter sell her souls to Uncle Sam.


Souls? You have multiple?


Left and right, one for each foot




Uh...yeah. My dad was in the navy (and so's my aunt, and we've had plenty of family friends in the same branch of the military). It doesn't matter whatever was said--you WILL wind up on boat. It's like the most inevitable thing for every Naval recruit (and you better pray it's not on a submarine, where sure it's cool--but it's super cramped, claustrophobic and the hours suck worse).


"things recruiters say" haha.


Friend of mine was a helicopter mechanic in Vietnam. He told me some of the shit he saw, and he worked on the base, never even fought! I can't imagine how horrible it was for combatants.


I have an eye condition that disqualified me. Recruiter told me to just not mention it. Then the recruiter acted all mad and surprised when I couldn't pass the vision test. Gotta make that quota at all costs apparently.


Recruiters are notoriously unethical. My dad was NOT a fan and he was in for 20 years. Hell, before I joined the Army I considered the Navy. Had a recruiter come by to give me information. He ppicked me up for lunch and an hour later we were at MEPS. When I said I wasn't ready, just wanted some info he got pissed and drove me home immediately. Never spoke a word on the way home.


My brother had some dental issue that prevented him from entering the Marines. He was looking to get it fixed, but my stepmom's insurance didn't cover it and he lost interest in joining. The recruiter called my stepmoms insurance provider posing as my dad to try to get it covered. She was pretty pissed when she found out what he had did and I'm pretty sure she reported it to somebody.


I'm sure there thousands upon thousands of stories like these. What's worse is it is known and accepted simply because a lot of recruiters didn't ask for the job. And once they are assigned, getting out of being one after 3-4 years is reliant upon quotas being met and it can blemish their military record if they aren't somewhat successful. At least it was this way when I joined back in the early 90's. May be different now but I doubt it.


It sounds like that's where they send all the assholes nobody else wants to deal with to make them quit No wonder we don't like them too


It’s the same bro. I’m a Marine and they still have quotas and do fucked up shit. RAH!


A Marine recruiter got my home number somehow. I had no intention of going into the military. I was accepted to college and really excited about going. He got me on the phone and somehow got me to agree to come in and meet him about joining. After I hung up I remember thinking ‘how the fuck did that happen?’ I skipped out on the meeting and went to college. That was for the best, considering I would have enlisted in the fall of 2000. Looking back, I realized how I was manipulated and see how it could totally sell some 18 year old on enlisting who doesn’t know what their next step is.


I've had my number given to local recruiters by my college Told the guy to fuck off and eat a dick, cold calling students (during a pandemic no less) is just despicable


> I've had my number given to local recruiters by my college How is that even legal?


There is a way around it. I don’t get called by recruiters because I don’t check unnecessary boxes when the school “helps find career paths”. If you seem to have any interest whatsoever, check a box that has college and military combined, or just seem to have a lack of a plan on paper they’ll send your number out. It’s all optional kinda like email spams where they try and word it in a way that you accidentally allow your number to be shared.


One time I filled out an online form for a recruiter to call me. He called me a few days later, however by then I'd changed my mind. When I told him him this, he said that he would come to my house anyway. When I told him that he couldn't do that, he said "fuck you," then hung up the phone. Thankfully he never showed up to my house, but I was honestly worried about it for a few days.




Crazy enough same deal here but for ADHD medication I was told to not bring it up to anyone at MEPS BUT I ACTUALLY MADE IT TO BOOTCAMP (for the navy) made it about 2 weeks in and then was pulled to the side and grilled about it then I was sent to separations and was in seps for about a month before they would let me go home..... People compaired it to like a prison but looking back seps wasnt that bad but idk why they wouldnt let us go home for so long....


Still to this day I want to go back to my recruiters office and ask him why he made me lie all the way to bootcamp but in all honesty i dont think its even worth it. Also another fun thing he did call me about 3 months after i was back at home from seps and asked if i wanted to join the navy and treated me like i was a whole new person.. I just instantly said no and hung up..


They just sent you up to MEPS? What year was this? Normally you sign all the paperwork and send up all relevant documents before MEPS will even give you a thumbs up.


1992. I had filled out a few forms before meeting when I went to the recruiting station but nothing ike what happens at MEPS. I found it all very strange as he wasn't very friendly to begin with. I remember thinking the same thing when I went there the next year for real.


I bet you didn't see that coming.


He doesn't really have an eye for detail


Same but it was asthma for me. Told me if I didn't need my inhaler that much then it shouldn't be a problem. It was a bit of a bummer because I scored pretty high on the test and was basically told I could have my pick of jobs in the Navy, from Translator to something Nuclear related. I seriously considered it but then I found out I would be signing over like 4 years rather than the 2 I thought it was.


I was in the exact same situation. I have asthma, recruiter told me it wouldn't be a problem and don't mention it. Got 99th percentile on the ASVAB I believe it was (this was over 10 years ago now) and was going to do something nuclear related on a sub. Got all the way to where they had a bunch of us overnight in a hotel and we were meeting with the officials and docs, signing paperwork, etc. One of the talks they had was that we needed to be 100% upfront about any medical issues so I brought up the asthma. Was told to go home. Recruiter wasn't happy and tried to blame it on me.


Literally same exact scenario....if it hadn't been for my vision I'd be well into the navy by now.


Getting diagnosed with depression. The military prefers to give soldiers its own brand lol


The Marine Corps let me in with depression & anxiety. I was literally afraid to walk in front of ppl and they were like cool. Glad to report I'm no longer afraid to walk in front of ppl. ..just can't sleep near them or trust them or allow loud noises or let them wake me up, but walking by them is fine. Totes cured.


What I'm hearing here is "the military cured your anxiety of walking in front of people." Service Guarantees Citizenship!


Would you like to know more?


If you rate it by suicide, they are probably the most effective in the world.


What about japanese students? As far as I know the school/work life in japan is really bad and because of that the suicide rates really high especially students


How about south korean?


How about north korea :/


Ah yes, North Korean "suicides"


The military prefers you have a clean slate that way they get a full 4 years out of you before the depression takes hold or PTSD whichever comes first.


If you're pre-9/11 they like to hit you with the wombo combo


My friend was going to join the marines. He ended up backing out because a month before going to boot camp he fell in love with a girl. My sister was going to join the Air Force but because she had a thyroid problem she was denied


No no no, you’re supposed to fall in love with a stripper immediately after you finish boot camp. He got it backwards.


I gave up on the idea because I had physique like Steve Rogers (Captain America), before he went through super soldier experiment.


Then just go through the super soldier procedure. Captain America did it in the 40s, they must have perfected it by now. Smh.


Well, at least you might develop America's ass, so that's nice.


I know a guy whose callsign is PICA (Pre-Injection Captain America), so you'd have been alright.


When I was about 18 I wanted to join the airforce, thought it'd be awesome to be a pilot. The recruiter told me that it was impossible with my terrible eyesight (I was very nearsighted and wore glasses). He tried to sell me on the idea of joining anyhow, told me there was plenty of other stuff I could do even if I couldn't be a pilot, but that was the end of the dream for me.


Just tell them you will fly really close to the stuff you need to blow up.


Yeah I mean I'm sure he'd make a great CAS pilot! Just throw all of the nearsighted guys in A10s and let the farsighted ones operate the B2s.


You can't be a pilot without a bachelor's degree anyways, then you gotta finish officer school and also somehow get slotted for flight school while there. Its a ludicrously competitive slot to land, and even if you get first pick of career asignments its still the military, they can always say "naw, we don't need any pilots right now, you are now in charge of a warehouse full of socks."


Yep, 6-7 years ago when I was eyeballing USAF, even with a BA degree they told me to rethink becoming an officer. And unless I had a 4.0 and impeccable recs I wasn't getting anywhere near flight school.


You'd better be the best damn sock engineer in the whole warehouse, then.




As the guy who washed the plane: Fuck washing the plane.


Wou... would I occasionally be allowed to sit in the cockpit and make vroom vroom noises, if nobody's looking?


Gotta pass your vroom vroom noise training first, airman.


i hate how I probably would've been interested in that offer because I know deep down thats the most honest shit i'm ever gonna hear from a recruiter.


a story i got from my grampa when he was in the navy. they were asking around for anyone who could paint. my grampa was an excellent artist, so he put his hand up, thinking it was for something artsy. flash forward a couple hours, hes hanging over the side of the ship repainting the ships name.


How bad were your eyes? They offered me PRK with bad nearsightedness.






Soldier, we didn't swap that metal rod for an AR-15 for nothing!


Fucking Grindhouse all over again. That bitch was unstoppable


Shortly after I turned 18, a military recruiter called my house. Asked me a bunch of questions. I didn’t really have a particular interest in the military, but for some reason I wanted to give this random person satisfactory answers. When he asked if I had any injuries, I explained I had broke my leg in three spots. His interest in me completely dropped after I explained that.


They have a bad habit of making them though


Making cyborgs? Nah the VA will just deny medical care until the veteran blows their brains out in the middle of the lobby, at which point the VA will make a statement about how much of a tragedy it was




Got a call from a navy recruiter and after a few questions he asked my height and weight. His response “boy if I let you in the navy you’d sink the ship!” So that ended my naval career.


I’m sorry, but that’s funny


That’s why I share! I was told later by friends that a good recruiter would have worked around that and I’d probably get in shape in training but while open to the idea of the navy I probably wasn’t seriously interested.


I got recruited by the U.S. Army into a test program where I would spend two years in college with tuition covered and a stipend. After two years, I would be rolled into basic training and go from there to finish college. Signed the papers, went through MEPS and though everything was good. My recruiter gets transferred to another station and they assign me to a new guy. I started at the university and I have monthly workout meetings with my new recruiter. Months go by, no money for tuition or stipend have come in. Recruiter says he is looking into. The year goes by, no money still. The head recruiter says that he is going to take me on personally and apologizes for the Army "losing me in the system." Decided that was a sign and I exited the program. Since they never gave me anything, I didn't owe them anything. But I always wondered if things would have been different if I had still had my original recruiter. Weirdly, he was in a town 40 minutes from the university which was the same distance the new guy had to drive.


I am in the Army currently and we have a dude in my platoon that has been in for 4 years, he just re-enlisted and when he got to my platoon, we went to go get his admin stuff, and it turns out his last unit deleted everything from his file, to the point where there is no record of him ever being in the army. Yeah, this shit still happens in 2020. You would think we have better established and secure ways of administration or paperwork... but nah


In an instance where there’s no record of you being in the army, can you just bounce then?


lol unfortunately no. We had to do a -? Commanders Conscription?- I think it’s called, where the Battalion commander conscripts him to be in our unit. It was weird. He also stopped getting paid so we are still trying to get that fixed


If worldwide logistics networks is something you are supposed to handle well, your situation is a red flag.


I kept testing positive for weed, after third test the recruiter just gave up, found out years later my oldest sister was lacing the cookies she gave me because she was scared i might get killed while deployed. Kind of glad she did because i was just joining because my best friend was joining, he got killed on his first deployment. Edit: yes she "drugged me" but me being the youngest and only male in our immediate family i understand why, she basically raised me cause my mom being a single mother sometimes worked up to 3 jobs, i hold no grudge against her, specially after seeing how bad she felt she didn't do the same for Ike Edit 2: guys your awards are appreciated, but unless it's the free ones given by Reddit, your money would be better spent being donated to a good cause, doesn't have to be military related, animal shelters can use some donations.


I'm sure that you hear it a lot, but sorry about your friend.


Almost 13 years later and am still waiting for the time to heal the wound, gave my daughter the name he had picked for his daughter, hoping to have a son some day so i can use the boy name he had picked.




that is really wholesome. i hope the best for you


Older sis was a baking ninja - enough to test positive but not enough to get you even a little bit stoned so you'd know. Speaking of which, how did you find out? Edit: one more question - how did you feel at the time your recruiter gave up on you? Were you shattered and/or angry?


At the time I didn't know what being high felt like and she knew I'd never say no to macadamia cookies, and i don't recall what the conversation was but my best friend was brought up and she started crying, she felt guilty she didn't give him cookies and told me how she was able to prevent me from going. As for the recruiter, at the time i didn't what was going on, but the fact that he accused me of wasting his time and not being serious about protecting the country did hurt. Edit: hard to type when you gave constantly wipe your eyes, excuse the grammar mistakes


I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for answering my questions.


You should give your sister a nice gigantic hug next time you see her but don't tell her why.


Your sister is fucking gold.


your sister is the real mvp


I talked to dozens of people who were already in or discharged. I asked all of them if it was worth it. None of them seemed very enthusiastic about answering the question.




Friend of mine was a jet mech, said his active years sucked, but reserve years were some of the best hes ever had.


Same I wanted to join the coast guard they promised to send me to 1 of three locations Florida Hawaii or Cali. Right before I was going to go to sign up a guy laughed when I told him and said yeah dude that’s what they told me and I went to Michigan and it blows.




I was 17 and had graduated high school. I didn’t want to go to college so I was recruited by the navy. I even bought a study guide and took the ASVAB test. It took a few months of talking to the recruiter and he was waiting for me to turn 18 which would’ve been in November and this was around August. This was in 1989 (I’m old!). Recruiter promised me I would go to Florida for basic, home for two weeks then on to Texas to go to school for nursing. Then I would get to go to one of my top three choices to be stationed. I had to pick ones with hospitals. Women weren’t allowed on ships or in combat during that time. He promised a few other things. I was excited to go. Then I told my older brother who was away at college. He got upset and tried to talk me out of it. He then made me a deal, since I wasn’t listening to him. He said when I talk to the recruiter, to have him put all his promises in writing and sign it. If he doesn’t, then I have to promise not to join. So naive me figured the recruiter would do it. He wouldn’t promise me things he couldn’t deliver! The next time I met with him, I told him what my brother said. He basically said he can’t do that and only the president could sign something like that. So I told him to get the president’s signature or I can’t go. I walked out and never looked back. For a few years I got recruitment calls and letters from all the armed forces. I’m glad I didn’t go.


Not real sure about now, but back in 1989 timeframe (I'm old too, joined the Navy around that time). You got a contract for a specific set of initial training only, and it always had stipulations like successful completion of the previous school, etc. So, you should have had a contract that said after basic training was complete you would go to your "A" school (Hospital Corpsman?). After you completed that it may have stated you get another school if your grades were good (specialty like pharmacy). Otherwise the thing they dangled in front of you was that the order you got to talk to the detailer (some Sailor in your specialty that now hands out assignments) was based on class standing, so you really wanted to finish top of your class. The choice of three was that they would only ask you for those three, but the needs of the Navy would always trump your choices. If you wanted 1) Hospital in Virginia 2) Hospital on the East Coast 3) Hospital on the Gulf Coast and they had a need for bodies at a hospital in Hawaii you were going to Hawaii. I just threw out some locations here, nothing specific. So, after the wall of text, your recruiter was doing you dirty by talking in half-truths, like they tend to do to hook you.




That's the same reason I joined the Marine Corps. Myself. I did 4 years of Infantry then got out and started living life. Im in a better place mentally now! Glad you are doing good as well :)


Got too tall. David Robinson was apparently under 6’6 when he began at the naval academy and grew later. Once I hit 6’7 they rescinded all offers.


That's sad. Being tall lets you down at times. When I was little I wanted to be a pilot but apparently you have to be below 6'2 for that. Sometimes you outgrow your dreams. Also space shuttles also have a height cap. If humanity were to leave earth tall peeps might have to start back.


What’s the reasoning for not wanting a tall guy? Bigger target lol?




Ah okay, makes sense.


I'm just... not the kind of person who wants to go through bootcamp. My brain is my tool, my body is a boneless chicken nugget. And I'm okay with that.


> my body is a boneless chicken nugget I think this describes a lot of us lmao also r/brandnewsentence


Mine is more like a chicken nugget that randomly has intense muscle spasms if I do something like stand up or put on my backpack. And then can't walk for most of the day. Hence why the military wouldn't take me.




I wanted to be a Marine. My grandpa was one and I really looked up to him. When I told him I was gonna enlist he called me a dumbass. He said “You have to know what you’re fighting for. I fought for the lives of others in a World War. You my son would be fighting for oil. Don’t be a dumbass.”


Damn. That's poignant and poetic


When I found out the military doesn't want warfighters who have type 1 diabetes and might pass out in a firefight.


Hey man, just strap a Capri Sun to your plate carrier and you're good to go! /s (Fellow T1 diabuddy)


Type 1 friends? I’ve been discussing the viability of a combat caprisun and 9/10 endocrinologist would also recommend you utilize a combat granola bar.


So nature valley and capri suns with MOLLE loops cuz from what ive seen that makes something tactical and combat ready.


By the time I managed to finish my degree (a requirement of OTS), I'd had cancer, lost a kidney, and was thus medically disqualified.


My father did not care for the decision and he begged me not to go in that recruitment office. He's seen what the enemy and our own state does to our own veterans. He does not want that for his children. I'm sorry Armed forces veterans and those who are over seas, everyone's experience is different that I can assure you.


I really really wanted to join the Coast Guard. I lived in middle of nowhere Kansas and I wanted to get as far away as possible. Plus I loved boats and lakes and the ocean. This was 1998 or so. I told my gym teacher in my junior year I wanted to sign up and asked if she could help me prepare for basic because she was ex-military of some kind. She said I was too fat and if I couldn’t do a dozen push-ups her training me would be a waste of her time. She was a bitch. I thought I was fat for years after that but I look at the pictures from the 90s and I was maybe a size large. Definitely not too fat for basic. It wouldn’t have been fun but not impossible.


You likely had enough time to prepare in your Junior year, especially if you were asking for help. Kinda crappy on your gym teachers part for dismissing you outright. She should have been happy to help regardless if you were planning to enlist or not.


She basically admitted that she was so shit as a trainer that she would only be able to do anything if you were already fit.


Being able to do a dozen pushups isn't fit. It's... having tried to do some pushups. Pretty much anyone who isn't old, very overweight or with a disability could do it in a week or two.


How scummy the recruiters are. Figured if you have to lie to people to get them to enlist then the job itself can’t possibly be that great.


When I was in my early 20s, I was working at a drug store. I had recruiters approach me while I was at work, working in an aisle. I was not interested and was actively trying to get into nursing school. I basically told them to scram. The sad thing is, I had some MLM scheme person also try to recruit me while I was ringing up her purchase, to the point she was setting up an interview for me. When I googled the place after work, I knew exactly what it was.


Pretty much this. If you have to use high pressure sales techniques and other bs on a bunch of 17 and 18 year olds, what you’re selling is bullshit.


I would never had made it through boot camp. Not that I would have fought anybody. I just don't respond well to that. I shut down.


If you have been to a day camp of any sort, it is basically like that but with a lot more yelling and ridiculous procedures. I only remember being yelled at personally once or twice during basic. Otherwise, they are yelling at everyone and you can just kind of stand there and stand still until they move on.




only difference between boy scouts and the army is the heavy artillery...oh and the binge drinking


The boy scouts binge drink?


They have to get their edward fortyhands merit badge somehow.


[Ah, the ol' Reddit switcharoo!](https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeMeSuffer/comments/kclyv6/-/gfsynks?context=3)


Hello, future Redditor!


When you figure out what a joke it is, the hard part is not laughing out loud.


The real funny thing are the guys who went through actual basic and then later go through a police academy. You can just see them trying not to laugh when the DI is trying to be aggressive.


I'd imagine so. By the end of boot I obviously still didn't like getting yelled at and beat but like when I would get yelled at for some stupid shit afterwards I'd just find it funny. Like this dude really yelled at me for five minutes because I wasn't standing where he wanted me to stand. Not to mention once your graduate and you see the attitude shift to they're just annoyed but actually have a little respect for you it just makes everything funnier.


Talked with several military members about it and I decided that my reasons for wanting to join were not good reasons to join the military.




I thought long and hard about joining the coast guard and being a rescue swimmer (can't shoot for shit). I was always doing volunteer work growing up and a continuation of service seemed appropriate. Plus, was always pretty athletic and a very good swimmer (tops on my teams growing up and in high school). It was my dad (who served in the army in vietnam [never deployed though so didn't see the worst of it]) who talked me out of it. Looking back at it at 35 with a job I am so exhausted with, I wish I had done it. But hey, grass is always greener right?


The Navy recruiter promised I'd be working on nuclear submarines and promised a whole bunch of other stuff. I told my English teacher I was considering it and she told me they were full of it, all those promises vanish as soon as you enter bootcamp. Eventually I didn't join up A few years later my brother joined up. The Navy promised him he'd be working on high tech computer security which would translate into great opportunities in the private sector. I told him what my teacher had told me but he signed up anyway. He spent two years as someone's secretary and another couple of years selling candybars at base's newstand.


Yeah one of my cousins' main concerns is that he didn't want to be deployed to somewhere like Iraq. The Navy recruiter told him "The Navy has boats. What do boats go on? Water. Not much water in a desert country." Fast forward 2 years to him getting deployed to, you guessed it, Iraq. Thankfully for him, his terrible dental health put a stop to that.


>Not much water in a desert country Oh yeah, it's not like anything bad has ever happened in the Persian Gulf or anything


Were they high-tech computer candy bars?


No, but the register was from the 1990s with an electronic display!


Long story so tldr; set a date to go, files got lost economy collapsed, no spots open for me. When I was growing up I was in a program for kids interested in the military, specifically the Navy. Through that program I was introduced to the coast guard and fell in love with the service. In the course of the program I got the chance to spend a lot of time at various coast guard stations doing the job I wanted to do when I joined, gaining first hand experience before I was old enough to enlist. Because of this the recruiter I talked to was VERY interested in getting me in. I also joined a fire department in my high school years, and they informed me that they would only hold my spot while I went to the coast guard if I attended the fire academy before I left. I talked this over with since buddies I made who were in the coast guard already and they all said to go to the fire academy first to get myself into the "boot camp" frame of mind before doing the 8 strenuous weeks of recruit training for the coast guard. Talked to my recruiter and told him I could go to basic late September after I graduated, as the fire academy ran June to the beginning of September. We set a date for me to ship out and I completed everything I needed to go to basic. Through the fire academy I didn't really have time to reach out to my recruiter every week, and he was transferred half way through summer. When I graduated I called the office and his replacement answered and it was a disaster. He had no record of me, my ship date, my qualifications, nothing. He said the best he could do for me was put me in the next available class. The worst news was this happened to me the summer of '08, during the economic collapse when there were a lot of people out of a job. The country was also at war on 2 fronts. The coast guard must have looked like a very enticing career choice, steady government pay without going to war because the next available class he had was over 2 years out. I was devastated and in no way wanted to wait that long, so being young dumb and impatient I said thanks but no thanks, I'll go to work with my dad in his company. A month or so later my original recruiter reached out to me to see how everything was going. I told him what happened and he went off. He apparently left my file along with a few other people who had prior ship dates but delayed for whatever reason in a special place in the office. Of course he never mentioned this to his replacement and the new guy never checked. Those two went back and forth on what to do for us and they came up with a plan to place us all on standby. Basically if anyone who already had a spot in a recruit class couldn't make it to the training center for whatever reason we would get a call and be told to report in a week or so. As I had already started working with my dad and didn't want to leave him high and dry with no warning, I declined. Again, I was young and dumb and impatient and a little mad at being toyed with. Although I regret not joining when I had the chance, working with my dad every day has been pretty cool. I also met my wife and had two great kids by not moving all over the country.


Twice you said you were young, dumb and impatient and both times I thought the exact opposite. They fucked you around and you made a commitment to your father. You honoured your commitment. Now you have a wife and two kids that you otherwise may not have done.


Dunno if anyone will see this comment, but this old quote kept coming back to me: "Military might abroad is useless without prudent council at home." -Cisero It just never seemed like I'd ever trust the system pulling the strings.


I was turned down because i was underweight for my height, told me to go away and put on 5kg and then come back to them, may as well have asked me to put on 500kg lol (I'm just one of those naturally thin people that struggle to put weight on)


Have you tried Potatoes? Or concentrated Potatoes: Vodka.


I was really only interested in aviation. Too short for the AF, tall enough for the initial Navy height requirement. Took the exams, went to MEPS, got my board packet all put together, just waiting for the next board date. Started reading online about the size thing because I was skeptical, found out they take what they call anthropometric measurements after OCS to figure out what aircraft you can fit in. Arranged to have these taken prior to actually joining, basically every single one of my measurements was too small. I was sad at the time, but it definitely would not have been a good environment for my mental health, so I’m actually very thankful now that I’m a homunculus.


In my senior year of high school I had been seriously prepping to join the army. Now this was in 2006 and at the time the fighting in Iraq was quite bad. Now being a testosterone driven dude I was all like "hell yeah time to go fight" My parents had, of course, been watching all of this on the news and been dropping hints that they didn't approve of my decision to join. They weren't outright expressing disapproval of it though. On the week I was supposed to go finalize the paperwork and go to MEPs (I think that's what it was called anyways, hard to remember) my parents had gone out with my older sister and came back home plastered. My dad, who I had up to that point only seen cry maybe once, began to break down and essentially begged me not to join. He seemed convinced that I followed through with my plans I wouldn't be coming home. So that struck me pretty hard. So I ended up not following through with the enlistment and instead went to college and ended up smoking a shit ton of weed.


I realized I’m not even down for the country like that lol


Country: Will you die for me? You: Will you support me instead of big companies?   Country: ... You: speak up   ^Country You: Hey where you goin?   ^^Country You: Hey get back here   ^^^Country You: GET BACK HERE!   ^^^^Country You: ANSWER MEEEEEE!!!!


For real. I used to want to join the military just to build discipline and basically go on an adventure. Then I realized that I didn’t want to serve a country that dumps money on endless wars and only rewards the rich rather than caring for the common man.


Since 5th grade I wanted to join the military. For most of that time I wanted to join the army, go airborne, and jump out of planes and kill terrorists. I watched a few documentaries and all the war movies and the thought of going to the most dangerous places in the world was Extremly appealing to me. But then I talked to a lot of army vets and not a single one said it was a good idea to join the army. So I decided I wanted to join the air force. I wanted to be a pilot but going to college to come in as an officer was out of the question. So I wanted to become a PJ and be one of the guys that goes in and saves the seals. But you need to be a strong swimmer to be special forces and even after working my ass off for 2 summers I just couldn’t do it. I’ve had meetings with recruiters from every branch. All of them extremly appealing. But senior year I did a ride along with the fire department and had a change of heart. I’m now a paramedic and extremly happy with how I’ve turned out. Most of my friends joined different branches, and they still try to talk me into joining at least the National gaurd. But I’ve been able to tak myself out of it so far. I’m much happier serving my community, and I’m doing more and seeing more trauma and GSWs than my combat medic friends.


I scored pretty high on some aptitude tests and they *hounded* me. Decided the chances of dying and/or getting raped were not worth the possible college money, and anyone that desperate had a bad reason to be.


A good friend who is a few years older than me was in the 101st airborne, had been stationed in Korea during the late 90s/2000, gave me some advice that I'm pretty happy I followed. I had 2 years of free Community College thanks to some "A+" program from high school, so he said while I would likely excel in the Army, go take advantage of the free college, get my associates, and then reassess how I felt about joining, and go from there. It just happened that during those 2 years at community college, I met a gorgeous girl and fell in love (married now for 14 years, together for 18), and decided I didn't want to leave her for the military. Thinking back, had I joined right after graduation (May 2001, just 4 months before 9/11 and the all the war that followed), it kind of freaks me out how differently my life could have gone.


Watching both of my brothers serve time in Iraq, and come back completely fucked up in the head


I didn’t wanna be a pawn for a government who doesn’t care about you


Because the US military will basically own you for the whole time you’re there and a couple years after


I wanted to go into the Air Force academy. My dad asked a family friend that was a full bird colonel to get a general friend (a friend with the rank of 'general', not a friend of unspecified category) of his to give me a recommendation. Our family friend told me that he found someone to recommend me but he wanted to talk to me first. He told me that, knowing me, I'd spend all my time and energy trying to change the Air Force and, knowing the force, they'd spend all their time and energy trying to change me. He also said that they're way, WAY bigger than me. He'd seen friends of his with personalities like mine destroyed for life by their run-ins with the force. He recommended that I didn't join up and, for maybe the first time in my life, I took someone else's advice and stayed out.


The only way I wanted to join the military was to fly in the air force. I was told by a recruiter in high school I was too tall (I'm 6'2") to fly. So... Fuck that noise. Turns out, I'm not too tall. That recruiter was just being a bro and saving me from a dumb decision.


I'm a woman and didn't want to get raped. The same reason can be applied to men.


Good reason not to join. The current statistic in the navy is 1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted during their naval service, and what’s also crazy is when looking at total numbers of sexual assaults greater than half are male on male. By a pretty good margin too, like 2/3 or 3/4. So even though there are more males being assaulted it’s a lot lower proportion of the whole, so for some reason (stigma, lack of care, etc) male on male sexual assault isn’t taken seriously. Not that the military is taking male on female assault seriously at all, they’re just not taking any sexual assault seriously. There’s no way I’d join as a woman if there was a 20% chance of me getting sexually assaulted!


This is why we (finally) talked our daughter out of joining. The recent surge of news reporting on the subject helped her realize we weren’t full of shit.


I have a friend who works in the VA and has to ask about sexual trauma while serving. He says it is crazy how high it is...he sees mostly men too. I forget the term they call it. I would do anything to talk my kids out of joining the military. It is just not worth it.


They call it MST (military sexual trauma)


I thought about it specifically for college assistance. Told my dad, who had been in the Navy, and he told me about the military’s horrific history of allowing/excusing/covering up sexual assault and misogyny. I decided that student loans were preferable.


I'm nuts


I hate running and figured I wouldn't make it through basic.


Not dying


My friends/teammates that graduated before me, and did what I was looking to do in the military. After talking to them about their experience, and seeing how they changed it made me reconsider.


I did ROTC for two semesters in undergrad. I didn't like it enough to consider making a career, or even a single 4-year contract out of it. The cadre, save for the retired colonel who did the intro classes, was a damn mess, first of all. And to be honest, they were kind of a bunch of assholes. The retired guy, Colonel D (ret.), was cool, though. For example, our "labs" were run on a local ranch that belonged to an alumni that was kind enough to let ROTC cadets wander around on an unused part of his land. Every ROTC lab "began" at 3:00 P.M., meaning you had be there at 2:30 P.M. (unless you had class) for a lab that would not reasonably begin until at least 3:45 P.M. meaning I'm sitting out there on my ass for 45 minutes doing literally fuck all until the cadre arrives. After showing up, Colonel Asshat and Captain Blockhead are usually wanting to know why cadet A wasn't here until 2:45 P.M. (which is apparently just a primer for .mil life). The cadre also loved to imply that cadets shouldn't take any classes that were scheduled in the ~~2:00-2:50 P.M.~~ 1400-1450 slot because they were supposed to be at lab "early". They never directly punished anyone or demanded they drop a class but they loved to talk shit and bag on people who didn't "care enough" to be there early even that reason was being in class. At the end of my freshman year, my interests had shifted, and I wasn't particularly interested in serving any more, and was especially disinterested in ROTC, so I said deuces and never looked back. A few of my friends either dropped out and enlisted, or commissioned out of university. Hearing them and family talk about military experiecnes, the military just sounds like a shit show from bottom to top, enlisted and officer. Between shitty work environments, shitty superiors, the threat of being blown up by assholes, and the the VA habitually losing the paper work of injured veterans, it reinforces my feeling that I made the right choice not to join. That's not to disparage the people who did join but I am very glad I did not join. Not all of the stories are *bad* but enough were to make me very wary. No one had anything positive to say about the VA, though.


I had an infant and I didn’t want to be away from him.


My Mom was very much opposed. At the time, I thought it better to keep her happy. I do regret not joining though, I could have used the discipline while in college.


> I could have used the discipline while in college. I'm a Soldier deployed overseas. I am, in fact, still just as dysfunctional as I am at home - I'm just in a camoflague uniform and 6,000 miles away.


Blind as a bat and friend's dad (marine) took me aside and explained that I WOULD have to take orders....and that I don't do that very well.


I'm fat


It had been a year since I broke up with my highschool sweetheart and I felt lost, thought the navy might give me a good change. I started training mma to get in shape for boot camp and really did a lot to boost my confidence. Started making friends with the guys I trained with. Through one of them met a girl that made me think maybe sticking around, finishing my bachelors, and seeing where this goes might not be so bad... A month before I'm supposed to go to boot camp I tell my recruiter I changed my mind. Two weeks later she tells me she met someone who she felt she could be serious with, she was only with me for the sex. Life took me in a few odd directions after that, but I'm in a good place. Kept training MMA. Those guys are as good as brothers to me now.


My friend was raped by another male at the defence force academy and then kicked out of the army. So fuck that and fuck them


My mental health took a huge turn for the worst. So I had to back out and take care of myself.