T O P
[deleted]

Coffee beans


Newtonfam

Unless they’re covered in dark chocolate


[deleted]

Do you swallow them whole?


Newtonfam

The chocolate coating makes it go down easier. But you have to wait fifteen minutes for full potency. And you shouldn’t go in swimming after, for at least, what? An hour? Yeah, an hour.


User_Not_Recognized

Have fun storming the castle!


kirbstompin

Do you think it will work?


mjhei1

It would take a miracle.


Wifabota

Bye byeeee 👋


juanpuente

Dont just stare at them


SisterRay

Eat them.


rkr87

- Patrick Bateman


[deleted]

They're roasted, then covered Feels like a crunchier, grittier, bitter version of the peanut equivalent and you eat them the same way I like them but they're not for everyone


[deleted]

Coffee beans “crack” twice during proper roasting. It’s an audible sound, and the bean is literally cracking open to release steam. If they don’t, the flavors don’t develop the same way (we call that “baked” coffee beans). So, even chocolate covered beans are broken!


[deleted]

So I’m just waking up and crushing up baked beans to make a juice out of them


mike_hellstrom

Do glow sticks count?


ididintknowthat

not if they are still in your backpack.


PoorEdgarDerby

Or if you explode it all over your nice shirt, dingaling.


Angelwings19

[The reference](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRUSQm5ZskQ), for anyone wondering. Spoiler: the kid is absolutely fine


YourMummy102406

or if you accidentally pop one in your eye and have to go to the emergency room on halloween at six years old...


Millsy419

I was twisting one (don't ask why I was a stupid kid) and got sprayed in the eye. Hurt like hell, I didn't get to go to the ER though.


StormShadow921

I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone else doing this. When I was a kid, lying in bed, I thought if I cracked it more it would glow more. I was wrong. Went to the shower and rinsed out my eyes, then went to the ER. It burned until the doctor shined a light to check my eyes, and suddenly I was better.


[deleted]

Once, I was biting on a glowstick because I liked the crunch sound it made and shortly afterwards I felt a tingle on my tongue


SodakBmx

We would cut them open put them on discs for disc golf, and play at night, besides everything beginning to tingle and burn it was pretty amazing


Painting_Agency

"IF IT BLEEDS, WE CAN KILL IT."


JeterBromance

It’s an AWESOME, BEAUTIFUL shirt!


Sulfron

Am I ever fucking right? Am I? Lol


damindamindamindamin

Or if you inject them into your arm


[deleted]

_no_


richardNthedickheads

Ahhhh jeez. On my 19th birthday some buddies of mine and I took shrooms for the first time and had 1 friend sober and taking care of us. We wanted to drive around and see all the lights etc so sober friend drives us around and we brought our Glowsticks along. We get out in a neighborhood throwing the glowsticks to each other cause they look fucking awesome doing so and the plastic started wearing I guess because when we’re leaving the neighborhood, our friend speeds over and speed bump and naturally my hands clenched and the glow stick I was just throwing around exploded everywhere turning the dark interior of the car BRIGHT GREEN. It was hilarious and amazing (if it wasn’t your car and taking care of 4 idiots stonEd out of their mind)


exmchna

coconut


Cla55if1ed_User

What if I want to use it as a projectile? Or a blunt object?


Epic_Gamer_Man1

If you break it you have TWO projectiles and TWO blunt objects.


Gangletron87

Or a fancy new bra!


Geminiun

Or a horse! *Edit: Thank you for the award* 😊


Vegskipxx

You got 2 empty halves of coconuts and you're bangin' 'em together!


SuperEel22

Coconuts exist in a tropical climate. This is temperate


DrHalibutMD

The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house maarten or the plummer may seek warmer climes in winter, but these are not strangers to our land!


Sunday2Munday

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?


datass_69

Worth a try


runnyOntheInside

What if I want my swallows to carry it?


astrogy034

Well you can try tying a string around the coconut and attaching it to 2 swallows by the legs.


DoomCircus

It's a question of weight ratios, not where he *grips* it!


Kaiser_Kuliwagen

Who are you who are so wise in the ways of Science!?


MoodyBasser

It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot; King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!


Kaiser_Kuliwagen

I didnt vote for you.


rockstar638831

No no, they have to grip it by the husk.


theinsanepotato

Well, is it an African or European Swallow?


CarbonasGenji

Just don’t fuck it


DudeFromSaudi

Eggs.


SoepjesKoekjes

True if all eggs were broken I wouldn't be here.


beluuuuuuga

No, youd be making the biggest onlette of all time amirite?


Sleepy-Bunny99

Onlette


Jebediah_Johnson

Have you ever tried an Offlette?


GuyFromAlomogordo

I think that's a one egg omellete.


53eleven

No, that’s a onelette


Floedekage

Then maybe it's an Online Omelette?


Yazidxl

No it’s OLED


valeyard89

Your dad made a momlette


Flyinggochu

Hmm.. i wonder whats the biggest omlete ever made


lukeCRASH

I too, hate spelling ahmlete correctly.


poopellar

Immalet this misspelling thread continue.


HereComesCunty

I’m going ome-let me outta here


DrStefan5

You guys mean the Olmlet... right?


akshaym_1996

I was thinking ohm-let


Weldobot

As someone who simply stumbled into this thread ... Omma let y’all know it’s some of the funniest shit I’ve read today and you all made me smile .. thanks for that


Blaze_Venom-_-

Yall so dumb its Am-lite


White_Wolf_Rainbow

No, it's actually the Ohmlate.


[deleted]

I think you guys mean homlat.


payperplain

No the Ohmlet obviously. I dunno why you guys keep resisting the right answer.


AnonymousGhou

And legs, of my enemies.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheAntiNormie84

Introverts and a few Ambiverts: I beg to differ


baxoga

But you had to break your silence to make this point


TheAntiNormie84

Listen here you little shit


ExpectingDownvotes20

That’s the answer I was looking for. Well done 👍


Pentacostal-Haircut

A piñata. Good luck making that happen!


valeyard89

If you ever come across a natural pinata, leave it alone. It is full of wasps.


Pulsecode9

Crack it open, get that sweet wasp honey.


Sword_Enthousiast

Spicy honey.


SaturnV3499

That sounds like a challenge


Tyrak

It IS a challenge! That's the point of the piñata!


InspiringMalice

A 100 dollar bill.


[deleted]

Sorry, we can't accept anything larger than 20.


smarti23

This happened to me a couple days ago (I'm not American). Why does this happen? Because you'd take all of their change?


CatZombies

Basically. It's not uncommon for people to go into a store, buy a $1 pack of gum, and ask for $99 dollars in change.


slothpoe

When I was a restaurant host in high school people would try to pay for a single soda with a counterfeit hundred to change it out for real money, which I think is fairly common. Stuff like that might also be why some places just won’t take larger bills too


jigokusabre

A fair number of places have those litmus pens for this reason.


007craft

But why not accept bills larger than $20? Wouldn't a better policy be to not give change larger than $40? This way if I goto the store and have a $100 I can still make a large purchase. Its unlikely a launderer would want $60 of product.


PioneerLeviticus

Also people can use fake money, pay for something super cheap with it and get real money in change. Or atleadt that's why we don't tend to accept 50's in the UK without asking a manager first


Chief_Givesnofucks

Yep, laundering fake bills.


jigokusabre

I never understood this. You have to go out of your way to get $100 bills. If you're getting money from your bank, then you're already asking a person for money, why not ask them for change, rather than trying to break a C-Note at Starbucks or whatever?


Koenig17

When I’m travelling for work I am given a per diem in cash. It makes much more sense for the boss to give me a few hundreds than for him to hand me a wad of 10s and 20s.


cheaganvegan

In Mexico the 1000 pesos bill. Lots of places flat it don’t accept them. I guess somewhat similar to the $100.


thealterlion

Here in Chile the 20.000 pesos bill. About 28 dollars. It is extemely hard to get small stores to accept something over a 10.000 pesos bill if you aren't buying something expensive


inomenata

Bad habits.


[deleted]

“I don’t know what’s worth fight for, or why I have to scream!”


Ifuckedyourgrandma

But now I have some clarity...


[deleted]

To show you what I mean!


Ifuckedyourgrandma

I don’t know how I got this way I know I’m not alright so I’m....


[deleted]

Breaking the habit!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Matthicus

Is there an /r/expectedlinkinpark ? Edit: apparently yes, but with only one post in it before now


Raguel0417

Ballet shoes


msgutt

Underrated answer. Breaking in pointe shoes is an effort.


MacTireCnamh

Lets be honest, you don't break in the pointe shoe, the shoe breaks in your foot.


Newtonfam

And then your feet are permanently ugly for the rest of your life. At least, mine are.


MacTireCnamh

Mine aren't ugly, 'cept my little toes are a bit cramped. My issue is the joint pain in my metatarsals and the constant ingrown toenails


Newtonfam

Yeah, the joint pain is no joke. My cramped toes and the toenail situation make mine ugly unfortunately 😅


chapter2at30

I know this because of the movie Center Stage :)


Dispatcher12

Lol. I always think of that too. And how expensive they are. And how they don't last that long. My mom's probably glad my awkward ass just wanted guitar lessons.


awkwardsity

Similarly, skates. This is why people always have blisters after skating on rentals. You get your own skates and you’ll never have a blister again once you’ve broken your skates in


DasHesslon

Feel similar about climbing shoes, eventhough maybe not to the same degree


klsprinkle

Ohh the horror. Flash back of bloody toes.


Christy_Potatoes

fortune cookies


[deleted]

I refuse to break them. I bite into it and pull the paper out. However, there have been several occasions when I have accidentally eaten the paper. Those are the ones that come true.


MoffKalast

"You will eat this paper."


nlfo

You will poop this paper


hilfigertout

"You will only read this paper 24 hours after eating the cookie"


notadilemma

You will find true love on Flag Day.


[deleted]

"early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese". you have to get up early and wait in traffic.


poopellar

Was wondering what the fuck the first mouse was doing till I realized a trap was involved.


[deleted]

You can actualy hold them over a source of steam and soften up the cookie, get the paper out and then dry toe cookie disk again. Its needlessly complex but this way i figured out how to make the fortune cookie cookies. And its not too diffirent from my Pancake recipe.


[deleted]

Walnuts


Bigduck73

Just walnuts. Other nuts? Eat em shell and all


[deleted]

No! Just WALNUTS! Now go finish your almond shells!


brokenechoo

wait almonds come in shells?????


Every_of_the_it

Yup. They also come in fruit. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Almond#:~:text=The%20almond%20(Prunus%20dulcis%2C%20syn,countries%20but%20widely%20cultivated%20elsewhere.&text=The%20fruit%20of%20the%20almond,not%20a%20true%20nut%2C%20inside. As do cashews, actually. Nuts are fucking weird.


[deleted]

The escalators leading to a gym.


Reg_s1ze_Rudy

Escalators can never break. They can only become stairs. - Mitch Hedberg.


07112018

Sorry for the convenience


PixelofDoom

[Ahem](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2018_Rome_escalator_accident)


MegiLeigh14

A broken escalator is arguably more useful since it could be used in both directions too.


InIt4TheFish

Bread > The phrase to break bread with someone is to share a meaningful connection over a meal, often bringing together two people or groups who previously had reason to be disconnected. Edit: Thank-you to the kind strangers for the awards! My firsts on Reddit... I'll celebrate with some wholesome bread! Edit 2: Whoa, 17 awards including a gold! Truly inspirational feedback ❤ Huge props to the Redditors that responded with interesting ways that "break bread" has evolved in language: u/NimdokBennyandAM > That's what the word company means in the Latin it's derived from. Com panis - the people you break bread with. u/Sooladhooch > The French word for bread is "pain" and the French word for friend is "copain". This is because a friend is someone you shared bread with. u/AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-OwO > in quebec, "casse-croûte" which directly translates to "break-crust" is the name we give to some restaurants, kinda like a diner And a special shout out to u/VulcanHobo who linked to [this fascinating 9 minute YouTube video](https://youtu.be/a1j1twEgreU) on the history of the word "loaf" and the cultural importance of bread. TIL, in spades!


ExpectingDownvotes20

Heart warming


Darkmaster666666

Pfft I swallow it whole


InIt4TheFish

Hehe... I believe the origin of the phrase refers to breaking a _loaf_ of bread... good luck with that!


FinchyMcFinch

I swallow the loaf whole


MichiganCueball

Okay I need you to roll a d20 with your constitution modifier


Beelanket

The will of my captives.


boingboingbong

Their arms and legs would also be a sufficient answer.


inferiorcritic

Turn the legs into tusks and sew your captive into a suit made from the skin of your other captives.


Jay_Nitzel

r/RimWorld has entered the chat


ItsJomeAgain

That human leather cowboy hat really suits you. You should wear it more often.


scary_pickle99

A horse


SelectPerception5

Nice one! For non-horse people, “breaking a horse” means teaching it to accept a rider on its back.


ladyevil333

Sounds like one broke a horse‘s mind just to enslave them. forever.


eyebrowshampoo

Breaking isn't like it used to be. They used to just buck horses out until they gave up, which fit the word much more. Most people don't do that anymore because it's cruel. Now it's more about working slowly, building trust, and providing lots of praise and positive reinforcement. It's called starting. There's a surprisingly large amount of training philosophies for horses, and even famous trainers who write books and go on clinic tours.


ShamefulSecondaryAcc

That’s probably the origin of the term. It likely refers to breaking the horse’s willpower until it accepts a rider. Wild horses are, well wild, they don’t like people riding them. Now most horses are bred in captivity and it is probably not used that way anymore. But that’s just my guess from reading the phrase, no research was involved


crazyivancantbebeat

Nah you still break horses. It's a normal process, and simply means that it is used to having tack and a rider on it.


[deleted]

A pencil. If you break you pen you have no pen. If you break your pencil you have two pencils.


ididintknowthat

Pencils and worms have something in common.


my-blood

Contrary to popular belief, worms don't just multiply if you cut them. The half with the important organs survives and the other half doesn't...


sillybear25

Earthworms don't, but flatworms do.


[deleted]

You can make a flatworm hydra by just slicing the head in half, and then keep doing it once it regenerates


AdvocateSaint

They did the same thing to newts, turning them into little Goros / General Grievouses By removing a nerve from the front elbow, it tricks its biology into thinking the limb has been amputated, so another forearm grows out of the joint


[deleted]

[удалено]


AngledLuffa

It is a little unnerving


Tylerb0713

Do u just break worms in half all day?


IWS04

my favorite type of writing utensil, the worm


smolest_pp

Santier's Spear


HoratioMegellan

An emergency box. (break glass in case of fire)


[deleted]

true, but what if the tool is missing


HoratioMegellan

They are made with thin glass that breaks very easily so you can use anything. I have broke the glass with my clothed elbow with minimal force.


runnyOntheInside

Because of an emergency, or.......?


Timmelyo

Those little gel hand warmer things


turner_three

A world record


JamieIsSad

not if it's your world record getting broken..


Zkenny13

Most molecular bonds.


mirceatheold

Without molecular bonds we could never ask the main question of this thread.


SixtyTwo55

Good thing they practice covalence.


Azlanadrian

Glow stick


ExpectingDownvotes20

Surprised at the number of people saying this. Must be a lot of ravers


Nakedstar

Or parents of children who still get excited for glow sticks...


qwerty5377

Or parents who are excited to have kids so they have an excuse to play with glow sticks again....


Newtonfam

Or just adults who still like having fun regardless of the child situation.


dogfish83

An enemy’s code


salso97

The plastic seal of a fresh pint of Ben & Jerry’s


abe_jardin

This is the last thing I broke. 10/10 would break again


GiverOfZeroShits

Fuck you now I want ice cream


wiliammm19999

Piggy bank


hoedonist

sunflower seeds


hawksclone

People to a controlling oppressive leader


Forever_Ambergris

Can confirm, I live in Belarus.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kaidiciusspider

Maybe in *your* mouth


Newtonfam

Challenge accepted


MeToolMovement

Nine Inch Nails


Burotar17

Sansa Stark


jay_22_15

damn dude. And I thought I was dark.


yafeduponcetho

Wooden chopsticks


amanhasnoname404

Ice


[deleted]

LoL champs


double-xor

A fever.


chemistrybeans

your heart. when it’s broken it teaches you a lesson. you were in a situation that hurt you and you didn’t leave which ended in your heart getting broken. it now teaches you if you’re in a situation which is hurting you, you shouldn’t stick around and wait for it to get broken again. it teaches you not to return back to what hurts you. it prevents you from repeating what you did in the past. thats just my opinion though. (im not saying its good to get your heart broken)


ambermage

A subject's will.


[deleted]

The sound barrier


SelectPerception5

Smelling salts.