Guys, what made you realize, “this girl is definitely not into me”?
By - GitchigumiMiguel74
I once went on a date with this girl. Bought her dinner. Went downstairs to the bar/nightclub for a drink afterwards. She ran into some girlfriends and just went over to their table, sat down and started chatting and drinking. I sat alone for about 20 minutes, then just left without saying anything. Never heard from her again.
I can’t imagine what I would do in this situation for 20 minutes. That’s so rude of her
Ugh this one hurt man, I'm so sorry. Fuck that girl. Nobody deserves that.
Had a dinner together, and the entirety of her contributions to the conversation were repetitions of "yep" "that's cool". and such. Even when I tried to ask her questions and engage her in the conversation, she just had nothing to add or to say. Was pretty clear it wasn't sparking.
I asked her out
She said "ew"
Reminds me of a time in junior high school when I told some girl that I liked another girl and told her not to tell anyone.
Lo and behold, next class, I’m talking to the girl I like and she asks the group “hey do you guys know who jewfro667 is?”
Me, being the shy kid, have no idea what to do so I play dumb until someone points to me and I raise my hand a bit. The look on this girl’s face was not at all one of pleasant surprise.
Needless to say, it stuck with me almost 20 years later.
After chatting for about a month, I asked her out (for the second time):
- Wanna meet up and hang out somewhere?
- Yeah yeah, I'd like to meet.
- Cool, so are you free this *day on this week*?
- How about *another day next week*?
- So maybe the week after? Or after that?
- No, can't
- Okay... So when can we meet?
- Let me check and get back to you
10 months, 4 days and 5 hours since then and I still havent heard from her.
Damn, she's REALLY busy.
She really only talked to me when she needed something.
Fuck, I've been there. This girl always called me more and more when she wanted me to drive her somewhere, and less and less to actually do stuff together.
One time she called me to meet up with her at the mall, so I went. When I met her there the first thing she asks me is if I could drive her to her friend's place 40 mins away. My jaw dropped. I said I couldn't, and I left her there. She texts me complaining how she had to take the bus, I never responded and stopped communicating with her. Haven't heard from her since.
Damn that hit home my guy
I had a "friend" like that. Complete sponge, used to invite me to hang out at a bar with her but she'd turn up with no money, apparently. So I always had to pay. When I'd had enough of it I stopped buying her drinks all the time and suddenly, we didn't hang out anymore. Now there's a suprise.
Oh this is the worst one I've seen so far.
Went to her apartment. Then i helped her with tinder
I went to a chick's apartment once and she had another girlfriend of her's over and they spent a good amount of time rating dudes on Bumble. And proceeded to get about 50 matches in the 1.5 hours I was there. I was like "wtf am I doing here?" then got drunk and left via uber.
That's about as well as that could've gone by the sounds of it.
When every conversation is abruptly ended by “lol”
Edit: been very busy lately but I’m happy that you all liked this comment so much and could relate to it. The award is extremely appreciated!
Or “haha” “😂” “true”, any one word response really
When she used to give everyone hugs but only ever offered me a high five.
maybe because you live in a village & she's into city boyz
When they couldn't remember any conversation we previously had, and made the excuse that their phones text history resets every day. Didn't take a rocket surgeon to figure out she deleted them herself.
I went out to a restaurant/bar with four buddies. Some ladies sent over a round of drinks. To my four buddies.
Im guessing they must have specifically told the waiter "Give everyone of those strangers a drink except Quasimodo in the corner there, make sure he is painfully aware that he does not get a drink".
It's funnier because the waiter reinforced the ugliness.
Plot twist: OP was the girls' type but not the waiter's so it was all a big misunderstanding
Plot twist: OP was the girls type AND the waiter’s but the waiter didn’t want to lose his chances with OP.
I know that gut punch. I was with 2 guy friends at our mall one time (years ago in jr. High). A small group of girls started following us. So we stopped and waited to see what they would do. Eventually 1 comes over and says that her and her friends think we're cute and can they have our numbers. I remember feeling pretty badass just then - I didn't realize yet that I wasn't included lol. So one buddy says he has a gf (he did), girl looks at buddy #2 and he gives her his number. She says ok thanks and leaves. Didn't even look at me. Ego did a 180 that day. Lol
When I a senior in high school, I went to a party one night where there was like 11 of us, 5 girls and 6 dudes. One of the girls there was very boy crazy and really into a good friend of mine. She kept begging him to go into one of the bedrooms to fuck but he kept turning her down. Finally I guess she had enough of him telling her no. She proceeds to go around the room and basically begs each guy to fuck her. None of the guys would give her the time of day and told her no. She finally gets to me, looks at me for a brief second, says 'ain't happening' and storms off.
I don't know if that was some weird way of her thinking she was saving face by not actually getting turned down by every guy in the room or if I was somehow already below her low standards. But I do remember that I let it affect me for a long time. I mean at this point in my life I still never had a gf or even kissed a girl and even though I would have told her no as well, it was still a huge blow to my self-esteem to be the only guy not asked.
But life is good and although it took some years after high school, I eventually had a very successful dating life and currently have an amazing and gorgeous gf. So I just kind of look back at it and laugh.
She’ll look back now and rue the day she could’ve been with the Cork King.
Damn that hurts.
If you're ever in Belgium I'll pay you a drink.
Still platonic, but hey it's something
When I expressed interest and she recoiled in horror and told me I was embarrassing her.
“Recoiled in horror” lmao
That’s rough though man :[
Closed responses to leading or intuitive chatter. e.g.; just saying "yes", "no", "not really", etc; when asked questions that could easily lead to more conversation.
The sad thing is my "boyfriend" in high school was like that with me because he liked me so much he got nervous and couldn't figure out what to say.
When she asked me if I knew if my friend was interested in anybody. I was only just starting to maybe have a crush on her so it didnt hurt, but like. Definitely wasnt pleasant lol
Yeah I had something like that happen to me. A girl messaged me and was like "So I have a question" and I was like "What's up" and she said "Okay I hope this isnt weird, but it's just been on my mind". And then after a little bit she texts "Is Larry single?" He wasn't.
When you go in for a hug and she gives you the side hug.
Caught her making out with my manager.
Asked a girl if she wanted to grab lunch together some time. She said she was busy that day which was interesting as I never specified a day.
Damn she said hard pass
> hard pass
"An unequivocal rejection with no possibility of a later change of mind."
That sums it up.
Gave a girl at work my number on a piece of paper and she handed it right back and said " We talk at work all the time so let's keep doing that"
That sucks, but gotta give it to her, she ripped off the band-aid fast, no ambiguity in that rejection.
I was thinking the same. Better than just ghosting him. Straight up and to the point. Not rude either.. just honest.
I agree. As someone who sucks at social interaction, I'd rather be told "hey I'm not exactly interested" rather than them pretending.
When's your funeral?
We set up a date. She stood me up. When I asked her, she simply said she forgot.
Been there, except she didn't even respond when I asked.
Oh this has happened. We went on a date, and some time later I took a trip abroad and brought her back some stuff she asked for.
Set up another date so I could get the things to her, and she didn't show.
I texted her earlier that day to check that we were still good to meet, and responded much later, "Clearly Not"
Edit - clearing up who said what.
10AM - Me - Are we good to meet at 1PM ?
8PM - She - Clearly Not
Edit2 - Lot's of people asking what happened to the stuff, and wondering if the messages didn't go through, and if I showed up.
I kept some of it, gave some away to other friends if they were alright with it.
We were using a message app with delivery notifications, so my message definitely got delivered.
I went to where we decided to meet and she wasn't there. Doesn't make sense that she sent a text before her 8PM one because, she'd have been there, or tried to to explain herself if she had a genuine reason. I see what you guys are saying, but it seems unlikely to me.
Clearly not? So did something happen? I'm so confused.
No, just throwing salt in the wound.
10:02am - hey, we still on today?
11:52pm - clearly not.
My second date with a girl was to a braves baseball game. She told me she was on the way and we were going to meet there. Once there I got no more responses and she deleted me off of everything.
The good thing is you avoided dating a child in an adults body.
We flirted for several weeks, hung out every day, I kept feeling a closer and closer connection but due to circumstances I could not control we were never alone enough together for me to test it. Had some friends plan a camping trip and I invited her and she said yes. I even specifically told her there's gonna be two couples there so we're gonna be in a tent just the two of us, she said yeah she knows. Get to the trip, we have a few drinks and I ask her if she wants to take a walk with me to look at stars (I get it, it's corny, shut up.) Once we're a little away from everyone I tell her how much I like her and attempt to go in for a kiss.
NOPE: "sorry chipsconqueso...im not what you're looking for" shattered me, utterly gutted.
aww shit, but hey at least you tried!!!
no, definitely. I shot that shot, and actually through a weird set of coincidences we ended up going to a different area that weekend, met another group and I ended up meeting a girl who actually was into me which made the first girl act wildly jealous and leave.
hahah damm, good for you!!!
Happy cake day!
Lol this happened to me also! And I’ve seen it happen to other friends. Still don’t get why some women will reject a guy and then as soon as guy finds someone they get jealous/standoffish
Asked her to senior prom. She said yes but when we got there she ditched me to hang out with another guy she liked.
Wasn’t too bad though cause I danced with another girl who I got along better with.
Man I always feel so bad for people like this. My senior prom, I had my friend who liked my former best friend (he never explicitly said) and they went to prom together. Literally an hour into prom, and she's making out with a dude in the ballroom while they're slow dancing. My friend went outside and just danced the whole night away to the band outside. We joined him because it was so much more fun and less hectic outside. I thought my former best friend had done such a huge bitch move. The guy she was with she had liked since our Sophomore year of high school. It was just so messed up.
Ouch. Well, I skipped my senior prom because no one would go with me, and I figured "Why pay for a ticket, rent a tuxedo, and drive to the prom just to go stand around with a bunch of people who don't want to dance with me?"
My girlfriend cheated on me about a month before my senior prom, so I wasn't gonna go, but a really good friend of mine forced me to take her, and honestly, I'm glad I did
Edit: My friend was a girl and she was the one that I went to prom with. Didn't clarify that originally
Back in college, I took a girl on a lunch date. We had a really nice time. When it was getting time to leave, I told her I had to get to work. She said "where do you work?" I said "McDonalds" and I literally could see her attitude shift in one second. "Oh, cool..."
So as I'm driving her home, I said "So can we hang out again?" She replies, "Yeah, totally!"
So the next day I text and ask if she wants to hang. She never responded ....
Her mistake. She could be getting Big Macs and chicken Nuggets all the time
That was my reaction, "Where the heck was she expecting him to work!?"
The real question is where does she work
Wendy’s, so she’s bitter towards the rival chain.
No, its code for Big Macs and Nuggets. Who would not want some free chicken nuggets?
Did she expect a college student to be a Lawyer or a CEO? The fuck?
Jokes on her. He was the regional vice-president for McDonald's.
- "would you like to have a date?"
- "mmmm I'd rather not"
And that was that.
I told em I had feelings for them they responded with
Dying literally or just laughing?
They followed it up with a joke about corona and pretended like i never said anything. Which to be honest hurts more than proper rejection, at least acknowledge it
This actually does hurt far worse.
Stopped texting first and realized that she never texted me for three days. It was totally one sided.
Nothing I hate more than a one-sided relationship, even with friends.
And sadly I'm sure I'm guilty of it too without even realizing.
An actual girlfriend ran this experiment and found that I didn't text her for a week... some people are just shit (ie. me).
My bf status didn't survive this experiment, but I learned from it.
You live and you learn. I like people that admit their mistakes and grow from it. Hope you have a good day!
How did you go a week without texting? Did you see her during that time? Did you notice that you guys hadn't spoken?
I was 18, fun loving and carefree, and I've always had a poor grasp of passing time... I had no idea. We lived a 30min drive for her/60min bus for me apart, so it wasn't unusual to go a week without seeing eachother. She suspected that she was the one driving the text conversations, and apparently she was absolutely correct. I was soooo into this girl, and it sucks that I made her think otherwise.
I'm 35 now, and we're still friends. I'm very happily married, in no small part due to some post-break up coaching from the first girl on how to be a better human.
I said, _"hello"_ and she just looked at me with a blank stare.
“Can I have time to think about it?” Then nothing, radio silence for like a month. Next time we talked it’s as if that moment never happened.
I’ve had every rejection under the sun used on me. Laughter, a straight up no, coming up with an excuse halfway through the date to leave, being ghosted, it’s not you it’s me, etc. One even claimed that she liked me but her parents didn’t approve of me so nothing could happen, only to find out later that her parents actually thought I was great and would repeatedly ask her about me (in that case I think she just wanted sex and nothing more which I should’ve seen from the start)
But that one, “can I have time to think about it?” damn. I’m over it now, but I’ll never forget how much it hurt.
I've heard them all!
'I like you as a friend', 'I think we should see other people', 'I no speak English', 'I'm married to the sea', 'I don't wanna kill you but I will'.
I'm not gay, but I'll learn.
Holy fuck that's good
Those were Simpsons references.
"How did you get into my closet"
Ouch, that sucks.
She probably did that too
At a bar with some friends. My boy Jon starts trying to chat up this girl and her friends. I approach and try to wingman. This girl makes hard eye contact and says “Well it was great meeting you guys...”
I, of course, say “likewise” and drag off Jon to go explain to his dumbass how to recognize when girls are politely telling you to fuck off.
Hats off to you
Sometimes, the best thing you can do as a wingman is make sure your buddy knows when to pull up.
Hi, I have problems reading social cues, can you tell me how to recognize when girls are politely telling me to fuck off?
It’s a tough thing to do, because people are often too polite to just say “hey I’m not interested”. In this case, she referred to our conversation in past tense (it **was** nice talking to you). This is a big clue that she’s indicating that the conversation is already over in her mind.
That sounds like a good thing to watch out for! Thank you for taking the time to help me.
Also, if they are just barely participating in the conversation, that can also be a hint. If you're asking questions and trying to be engaging and all you are getting back is "Yep" or "That's cool" or "sounds fun" they're either not interested or distracted, and either way you deserve someone who can focus in a conversation with you.
I liken it to a putting the other half up in table tennis so you can play with yourself. If you feel like you're doing all the work and basically having a conversation with yourself, it's no bueno.
"Well, it was great meeting you"
"Excuse me, I need to use the restroom"
"Excuse me, my friends are waiting for me"
"Excuse me, I need to make a phone call"
Pretty much any speech that implies they need to leave or walk away for some reason. Or any speech that is usually used as a farewell, like 'good meeting you', 'have a great night', 'you're probably busy so I'm gonna let you go', 'your friends are waiting for you', 'i have class/work early tomorrow so i need to get going'
Also, if you notice they're answering to you with a smile and no speech, or one word answers.
If they seem anxious, like looking away often, shifting from foot to foot, touching their phone or purse often, or standing with one foot away from the other, like they're about to start walking away (but they can't because you're blocking them or won't stop talking)
The key is to pay attention to person you're with, rather than focusing on yourself.
Yeah and most of the time if someone is using one of those phrases because you know... they actually have to go the bathroom/find their friend etc and they are interested .... they will say it AND then follow up with some sort of affirmative that they want to continue talking like... but I had a great time talking to you here’s my number, or imply you should come along as in “hey let’s (the both of you being implied) go get a drink.”
We had been fooling around for a bit and I had hopes of pursuing a relationship. She knew I had an apt that I wouldn't be using that summer (college) and she needed a place to store some things. After a date I brought her back to my place for the first time and she quietly said, "this will do nicely." And I had a realization that I had been played. She stored her stuff for a bit and I have barely seen her since.
I asked for her number and she offered to give me her email address instead.
If you were a stranger that's not unreasonable. I only give my number to doctors, family, and friends.
My roommate encouraged me to ask this girl out. He said she really liked me. So I ask her out and set a dinner date. I pick her up and at dinner, she barely responds to me. I ask questions about her major, her family, etc and all I get back are short answers and no follow up. I'm frustrated and she's unhappy and I guess we both look miserable when the waitress tells us that we need to perk up and be happy! She then asks how long we've been dating. Her face falls when I tell her this is the first date she goes ”Oh...” and walks away and doesn't really talk to us again.
After dinner, we were supposed to go to a friend's house who was having a party but I look at her in the car and say ”Look, obviously neither one of us had a good time. Instead of going to the party why don't I take you back to your dorm?” She said yeah and that was it.
I went back to my roommate FURIOUS and asked him why he thought she had a crush on me. He said he thought she would once she got to know me.
Yeah, well she didn't.
EDIT: Wow, didn't expect this kind of reaction! To answer a few questions...
1) Why did she even go on the date? I have no idea.
2) Motives of my roommate? I had a pretty bad breakup a few years before and I believe he was trying to help me out. When I came home and confronted him on it he said what I posted above, making me realize he hadn't even talked to her.
3) This, unfortunately, did happen. I can laugh at it now but I was furious back then. This happened around 1991 or 1992.
EDIT 2: The waitress really did put her foot in her mouth but it was good for me to hear that "Yes, yes this is a horrible date and it's obvious to other people too. Time to cut your loses and go home."
Call it a hunch, but I think she was into your roommate...
The law of 80s/90s sitcoms says this is true.
They've got to get their material from somewhere, right?
Ends up dating the roommate through all of season 3; they break it off by the end of season 4; then to shake up the by now stale formula, she'll end up back with OP for half of season 10 before getting back together with the roommate by finale night in season 12.
Edit: forgot to mention that she'll spend seasons 5-9 dating a motley of quirky, one off suitors as portrayed by various leading film and TV stars.
That's one of the reasons I like Brooklyn 99. They actually stay together when they finally get together.
Who goes on a date and doesnt even try to have a good time?
Half the people I attempted to date, apparently.
Do you mean "half the people on my dates?"
Yeah that’s crazy. I can recall at least 3 dates from tinder even that I realized early on I was not into the person, but I still would have a good time and enjoy some conversation
why the fuck did she agree if she didn't like you?
Roommate might have told her the same thing
Who is this maniac?
It was me. I just wanted the apartment empty so I could have some “alone time”
Also I have to tell this because it’s hilarious and I know for a fact it’s true. A girl I know was dating a guy who turned out to be married. The wife found out but stayed with the husband. So the guy gets in a car accident and the side chick girl calls to see if he’s ok. The dude tells her he has amnesia and doesn’t remember her and he’s with his wife now. homeboy done said he got amnesia to get rid of the side chick.
The ol' getting in a car accident and faking amnesia to get rid of someone. Can only use that one once!
I mean, if I'm talking to a girl and she doesn't make eye contact and answers with one word answers, my default assumption is that they don't want to talk to me.
(/ksunsetsmile) I didn't realize, until I asked her out. We had been talking and hanging out for a few months, she and I had matching personalities and we were both more energetic around each other than around others. I had a massive crush and I felt like taking a chance so I told her I liked her, and she said "Damn, I'm really sorry, I feel we're better off as friends." I guess I didn't realize she wasn't into me until she said as such. I moped for a while before finally being able to have a "shit happens" attitude towards it. Nowadays she's happily with someone. Our friendship has faded away, which is actually more upsetting than being rejected romantically. I'm still single, but I'm happily single so it's alright. If I ever feel that feeling again, I will always take that risk.
(/sunset "It's been 7 years since then and I haven't felt that feeling yet.")
Edit: Reading all the replies, I still have a lot to learn and digest. I appreciate everyone's input.
> Edit: Reading all the replies, I still have a lot to learn and digest. I appreciate everyone's input.
Dude, half of the replies are downvoted to hell by now, take their "advice" with a grain of salt.
I have no idea why you're getting such bad advice in your replies. Just continue being you, okay?
Yo, a bunch of other people have already said this but don't listen to the advice given about pushing harder and "chemistry from the start." Thats bullshit. Always respect what someone has to say, good or bad. If there is a lingering something, then there's a chance it'll come back around if you respect their stance and what they have to say.
I'm a good example of the other side of a story like yours. When I met my wife, we dated briefly then I felt we would be better off as friends. She was, understandably, not happy with that but she respected my feelings and my stance all the same. A year later, we ended up getting married because we grew closer. I knew she would respect my feelings and thoughts, and that's a big deal to most people. Worst case scenario, you pick up and move on with your life. Staying hung up or walking away if it doesn't immediately turn into a romantic scenario is a horrible way to live. You'll end up miserable and lonely. You absolutely have the right attitude and you should stick with that. Its also worth saying that being happy by yourself is VERY important to being successful in a relationship. You're heading in the right direction and you have the right idea. Don't let them get to you and make you bitter.
The teacher assigned my crush to dance with me
She screamed "no" and chose another guy
Edit: I'll give more context
So this was our graduation trip, and it's the last day of it. It was compulsory that everyone chose a partner of the opposite sex to dance with. Me having a crush on her was quite well known in my class, so all of them, including my teacher suggested that I dance with her.
And of course she refused and chose another random dude. I had to find another girl from another class that I never even talked to. Feels so bad man.
Shit that brings up memories.
Whole class had to slowdance for a school play rendition of Anastasia. Everyone pawned me off to some other girl, and the girl I finally ended up with was obviously not thrilled either. I ended up faking illness so I had a reason to miss the entire school play.
Ouch, your story brings up memories too. I was finally dancing with my highschool crush, it was great. Then I look over and happen to see his group of friends giving him the "cut it out" hand signals at the neck (not sure what to call this movement, lol) but he just looked at all of them and walked away from me, leaving me alone. I was so hurt and embarrassed, but I acted like I didn't notice.
What the hell kind of school has a required graduation dance?
Ooft... on the flip side as well, having everyone in your class try and force you with someone when you’re not interested at all is soooooo uncomfortable especially back in high school. Bad situation around for both parties, hope you’ve had good things come your way since then OP!
Yeah. Been somewhat in the girl’s position and it was really uncomfortable. Feel bad for both parties.
She kept talking about how she needed more commitment from me. Relationship had turned long distance; I was paying for the travel and doing the majority of the traveling (I was the one that had moved away).
Sustained it for about a year, but I just realized that she wasn't into me enough to take what she perceived as a risk in moving 5 hour drive away from her family. Never spoke about her needing to show commitment to me. Think what finally did it was when she got a raise to similar to what I was making and I brought up her starting to contribute to the travel costs, and she laughed like it was a joke. I clarified I was serious and she brushed it off... Nope, I'm out. Stuck around longer than I should have.
Was her first serious relationship, which in retrospect I think was a big factor in some of the immaturity
She gave me a thin paper wristband she has made which said "the wristband of friendship".
Edit: Holy shit this blew up. Thank you for the kind words, Fs, and awards but please, don't spend your precious money on me. You guys made my day anyways.
She found someone else.
This fully happened to me lmao. She was always a bit of a slow replier but nothing longer than a day at most. Then about 6 weeks ago she just doesn't reply, I ask why she's ghosting, nothing. I've just deleted her off my socials since cos I don't have time for that
The second she said "Um... Ok?"
Oh snap. So, last fall I went to class and ran into this really cute girl and I thought “hey, I’m gonna try to talk to her more” and over the next 2 weeks I found 0 openings until we were told to get into groups for a project. Small class, but I wasn’t in her group so I asked her if it was cool if I joined her group because they seemed more serious than my other group. (Bunch of losers)
She said yes. So it was me, her best friend and another girl I’d talked to for a bit. We agreed to meet up on Friday at the library. We talked a bit more before then and became friends. She’s really touchy so she’d grab my arm, lean on me etc. I thought she was into me. I show up early and she was there alone so we began to talk and she’s sooo much like me. Has a weird sense of humor, very smart, and super friendly. She even liked Dragonball. That’s the dream! Also. Her favorite Spider-Man movies were the originals and not the Holland ones.
Then the other two girls arrive and I see her phone and her lock screen is of her best friend. The other girl comments “Aww, your best friends your lock screen?” And she says “nope, my girlfriends my lock screen”
So that really made me realize she totally wasn’t interested in me at all.
Funny thing is, we all are still really good friends. We’ve tried to take classes together and she’s helped me out when I had trouble. I accidentally ruined her surprise birthday party, we hung out while we could, she’d buy us lunch, invite us to her place and we really have a good time together. Those 3 girls are the best friends I’ve made in university.
It’s kinda sad but before I went like 6 months without anyone in college saying my name or even talking to me. They weren’t mean. They were just not my friends. But I met these girls and I have a friend network, I have a constant study group and she’s even helping me lose weight because I couldn’t do it on my own.
She wasn’t into me but I honestly couldn’t care less. I’m way happier now than I was before I met her.
Edit: Holy fuck. I went to sleep and this blew up.
Damn, very mature of you. A friendship is not a lesser relationship to a girlfriend it’s just a different one, good you realized this.
Exactly. It makes me so sad that something that sounds as rad as the "friendzone" has such a negative stereotype.
Such a wholesome story
Sometimes, being good friends is better than being in a relationship.
Edit: wow thanks for the upvotes guys :)
I’m not fantastic at fancy words, so I’m glad my simple comment made sense to you guys..
Aww, she's totally in to you! Just not your penis.
Unless the girl directly says to me "I am into you." or some variation, I will assume, by default, that they are not into me.
Uninterested until proven interested
~~The only proof that is proof is verbal confirmation.~~
~~Edit: this reads really weird, uncoherced confirmation is true proof, even then it might not be true~~
Look, I don't know shit about shit
Seems like this only ever comes in past tense for me, "I had such a crush on you in highschool", "I was hoping you'd to ask me out, until I met my boyfriend", "I wanted to jump your bones before I settled with my now fiancee and had a bunch of kids"
Ladies ffs gimme some kind of sign BEFORE it's too late, not years after the fact.
I am into you.
Oh yeah as a friend? Yeah me too
Yeah you [can't really tell](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw) based on that. Maybe she's from Canada and just being polite
I just assume by default that people do not like me. When they are nice and warm to me I assume that’s out of their courtesy.
I assume I suck too much to have anyone feel that way towards me, so they’re just being nice.
E- By the way, I’m not depressed or anything, to the guy who was worried for my mental health, thanks for your concern, but I’m fine. I only assume I suck when it comes to other people’s views of me in terms of love and stuff. In almost every other aspect I think I’m pretty ok
Made a few errors in judgement as a kid, got rejected, and figured out the difference between friendly and flirty.
She said "I'm not ready to be in a relationship"
...and proceeds to get into a relationship. RIP me. I hope she's happy though, I really do.
She left out the ‘with you’ part
Said she was lesbian
“I thought you were American”
She began to become very confusing and unclear. At first I thought it was normal for girls to be this way but with time and perspective I realized she just didn’t like me anymore and felt too bad to let me know (though she did say it after I confronted her). It sucked, it broke me, and it still hurts. If you’re ever put in a situation where you don’t like someone anymore just be direct about it.
When I feel like I have to constantly be the one that has to start the conversation, that it takes so long for them to answer, or worse that they sometimes don't answer at all. I can sometimes get the conversation going again in that last case, but if it happens two or three more times, I'm usually done, it's pretty clear to me. Other case is she shows a clear interest to someone else, or starts dating someone else.
And this has happened to me SO MANY TIMES. I guess I'm not that good at online chatting/texting, or not interesting at all, or that I don't know when it's time to be more direct.
Just take the hint from the first or second time. It'll make YOU feel better. It did to me at least and after I stopped wasting time on those who I didn't have a chance with, I found a person who I am still in a relationship with 7 months later.
Not a girl, a guy. He wanted to call me on discord and once I got over the anxiety bit of it, we called. It started out pretty well and then his sibling came in. They started talking and he went on snapchat. Then he suddenly called his friend and just started talking to her as I sat there in disbelief.
I don't know if he *was* in to me but it sure didn't seem like it
When she started planning her wedding with someone else? She was my gf when it all happen.
You’d be shocked at how many girls said they were into me AFTER they started dating someone else.
“I totally had a thing for you. Wish you had asked me out lol”
Yeah well I’m not good at hints
I don't remember how we ended up talking, but I ended up asking her out to dinner and she said yes.
We went, ordered our food and ate.
The entire time she was on her phone, so I just paid my bill and left. 10 or 15 minutes after I left she started blowing up my phone, not to ask were I was, but to demand why I didn't pay for her food.
I just responded by blocking her.
EDIT: Everyone calm the fuck down jesus christ.
Dont give me awards, they dont do anything, instead please gift the money to a charity, that way itll actually help something.
Ok that made my morning lol seriously though how rude to just be on your phone the whole time during a date as if just showing up was doing you a favor. Probably thought “I’ll just play on my phone and eat get a free dinner out of it”. Some people.
Unfortunately I had a roommate who bragged about doing that. On top of that, every time she'd tell us about a boyfriend she was seeing we'd end up having to tell the dude that within the first week of meeting him that she'd brought home three new guys.
She stopped telling us about her boyfriends. We stopped talking to her entirely.
When she told me so
So I was on one if the nightly FaceTime calls with this girl I was super into, then at around 4 in the morning, she says that she is getting a call from someone and needed to answer. The next morning I see her snapchat story of her on FaceTime with another guy. The next night I call her and she says she is already on call with someone and it turns out to be the same guy. We lost touch and I am pretty sure those two got together.
EDIT: I showed this post to her and said thanks for the karma. She found it funny and she said that at that time she was into me but she just lost feelings and met another guy. We had a good laugh about it lmao. Also, I am in a relationship at the moment, we both moved on but she moved on A LOT quicker.
I kind of had this happen with a guy. There was one night we stayed up literally all night on the phone. He kissed me. Took me out several times. I think he did like me, but maybe not enough. He eventually told me he didn’t think he was ready for a relationship but less than a month later started dating his now-wife. All is well that ends well. Before he asked his wife to marry him he texted me and apologized for not treating me as well as he should have. He’s a real stand up guy. But damn it hurt.
A close friend of several years (who I had a bit of a crush on), had been single for awhile (as had I):
One day, she called me on the phone out of the blue and said, "I'm so horny. Want to drive up and we'll fuck like bunnies??" (!)
Why, yes, now that you mention it: yes I do.
But she lived a 5 hour drive away. (!) And I had to work. So, I worked, then hopped into the car the next morning, drove up for a visit.
We hugged, went straight to her bed... but I was getting less then a sense of full enthusiasm. Still, she seemed game...
Then, as we just began to start (a few kisses, hand under the shirt)... she started crying.
Now, here's a little hint to all you guys out there: if she starts to cry, she's not happy.
So, naturally, I put the brakes on and say, "hey, what's going on?"
And she's not into it.
Yes, she's lonely... desperately lonely. But I'm a *friend*, not a potential lover.
She likes me. But she's not into me that way.
...but, here's the thing: she's still game to go through with it...because I drove five hours, after all.
No chance. She's not into it, then *I'm* not into it.
We hugged, went out for dinner, had a great time.
I slept on her couch for the next few days of the visit.
(curiously, that same visit, she hooked me up with a friend of hers... who I dated happily for six months until the 5-hour commute wore it down.)
TLDR: she started crying. Guys, when she's crying, it's time to call it.
Asked a girl out and she said “I can’t it’s my girlfriend’s and I 2 month anniversary”
She is straight btw
Seems like she’s not actually straight
When all her replies were one word. If it gets to that point I just stop talking to them now.
She pulled out a knife and tried to kill me.
I wanna know the backstory
I see you've met my ex-wife.
I used to work with two girls in an autoshop years ago. Was really into one of them. I asked her out, she said "maybe another time" and I let it go, but still had hope. A few weeks later I had to come back to work as I'd forgotten my wallet. The two women that worked there were passionately making out. I then realized that as a lesbian this girl was quite penis averse and my hopes of "another time" were quickly dashed into oblivion.
Great, now he thinks you marked your territory.
You have to assert your dominance.
She R.Kelly'd him.
He was above the age of consent thank you very much
Then good thing you gave him a piss of your mind.
I hope he wasn’t into that, but goddamn what a power move.
That usually costs me extra
Blocked me on every social media account after I mustered up the courage to ask her if she wanted to grab a bite to eat. Self confidence was already at an all time low and that was the nail on the coffin.
When I invited her to go see Avatar in theatres and she agreed but invited her exhusband along.
She’s my wife now but at the time I was like “Yeah, I’ve been friend zoned into oblivion”
When after a year of relationship she said "i don't love you anymore".
Yeah, that may be it
Look on the bright side. At least she didn't waste 25 years of your life hoping you can make it work to get divorced in the end.
When, after I got her number and were texting regularly for several days, she refused to go out with me because I'm "too put together" to be single, and I must be cheating on my wife and kids.
I told her that I'm single, never married, and have zero kids. She followed that up by accusing me of being a serial killer.
I also dont eat cereal.