I hope I don't break her hip.
There's no way this doesn't end with Judge Judy pegging the shit out of you.
Does Jesse Pinkman count or has it gotta be Walt?
SAY MY NAME
Oh thank God, it was Calliou.
He's dead, right?
You’re pleased that you now need to commit necrophilia and pedophilia at the same time?
Clone Wars Obi Wan Kenobi. Umm...yeah so, $600k is on the way!
Just make sure to be bottom. He always likes the high ground
“I mean, Benito Mussolini used to force-feed people caster oil until they literally died of diarrhea. I mean, that’s gotta be where the goalposts are, right? Am I crazy?”
Who’s the main character on Sesame Street? Or am I just fucking my way through an army of puppets?
I mean, I’m apparently having a four-way with We Bare Bears. You might luck out and just have one Big Bird.
Uh... does it count if I have a kid's show on in the background and am not actively watching it myself? Because I really don't want to fuck a horse named Spirit.
What horse would you rather fuck?
You know, that's not something I've really ever considered.
If I gotta fuck ONE horse it’s gonna have to be my guuuuud gurrrrrllll from Red Dead. Spent a hundred hours with with her ass dead center of my TV screen, I feel like I could get down without putting too much thought into it... as long as I got that little horsey face icon with a + next to it afterward.
That stamina meter is definitely going down
Honor meter too
If it's an ensemble cast does it have to be a train?
What a coincidence, I'm fucking a train too! Can't wait for some private time with Thomas :D
If it makes you feel better years ago I used to watch that show w my younger brother and had a huge crush on Henry.
This does not make me feel better.
Dracula... I might have to pass
"I want to suck your dick" *Dracula accent*
*"I vant to sock your deeeek"*
edit: my highest rated comment is about giving a ~~blowjob~~ suckjob. My wife will be pleased...
Gordan Ramsey. . . I can already hear him criticising my form.
"It's fucking raw!"
"Did you serve me a DIRTY FUCKING SAUSAGE?"
"I didn't order CRAB with this you miserable wanker!"
As long as you follow his [tips](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIesCd4I4hU) you should be fine
A nice gentle ride.
And you know why? Because he wasn't tested at the Nurburgring
I mean spongebob got a lot of holes so i think it'll work.
This is my favorite answer.
Mrs. Maisel 👍
I'm in! I heard the French hookers talking about what she did to Joel's balls last night.
Who’s the main character of the clone wars?
Which arc of the show?
Sadly the zillo beast.
bro you're about to fuck the whole Jedi Order
Execute order 69.
Link, for science of course, please.
NO ONE IS SAFE FROM ME!!!
not even the younglings survived
200,000 clone units are ready. With a million more well along the way.
Have sex with all the characters
*Seinfeld theme plays*
The real question is, are you sponge worthy?
Edit: thanks for the silver!
Why don’t you have a seat.
...on my face, Kim.
The live action as an alternative. The actress Sadie Stanley was 18 (born in 2001) when she made the movie in 2019, barely...................................................................
I'm getting paid to fuck Kristen Bell
The woman munches on Carolina Reaper peppers like after dinner mints.
Do not let her breathe on you, your skin will melt off.
im oddly even more aroused
What till Dax finds out, he'll be all "damn, I've been doing it for free"
If it’s a main crew then you gotta smash the whole crew
Paw patrol. Fuck.
No job to big, no pup too small
Orgy with the crew of the Roci AND $600K!? Whew lad!
Hey same, I’ll bang Dollar store Jon Snow
I got captain sisko from ds9.
What an unfortunate post to open in the middle of a 600 lb life episode, but you know what they say; in for a Penny...
$1,000 a pound makes it sound slightly better.
Yeah, $600k for 30 seconds of my time....I can tough it out.
Edit: First silver! First Reddit award of any kind! Thanks!
Arguably, you could be set up for Dr. Now... he's not the center of the individual episodes but definitely of the series.
He's gotta be in his 70s and that's not my thing, but, you know. Might as well. Better than Steven Assanti.
The Mandalorian and I'm not complaining
Yeah, Pedro Pascal can have the money, I'm already getting enough out of the deal.
For real though.
you gonna make him take off that helmet?
The helmet stayed on
This is the way
😏 he can keep it on
Eleanor from "The Good Place"? I'm in.
Pretty much anyone from The Good Place would be great, they're all ridiculously attractive.
Put me in a Jason Mendoza/Tahani sandwich.
Jason would just get confused when there is no sandwich for him to eat
Or that they weren't making a literal sandwich of him: "Oh dip! You mean I just covered myself in rooster sauce for nothing?"
Lucifer i mean... i dont know what to say.
"Why, just say yes, Detective."
Edit: And of course my top voted comment is not actually me but Tom Ellis
God dammit I can hear that perfectly in my head. Tom Ellis is a charming motherfucker.
I am like 97% straight, but if it came down to having to choose a main character for this challenge... Scoot over detective!
Personally I’d do that for free so 600k sounds pretty sweet
Stranger Things. I'm out.
Technically, Winona Ryder gets first billing 👍
Winona is a fox. She’s dated Johnny Depp, Christian Slater, Keanu Reeves, Matt Damon, Robert Downey Jr, and
Daniel Day Lewis. That’s some A-List dick right there (Silver! Thanks Ya)
That's one hell of a D-List.
You'd need that $600k for legal fees
Anyone wanna start the ball rolling on the hoops we have to negotiate to consider Joyce the main character..?
Cos I’m down for Winona..
Edit: i'm going to reach 69,420 karma on a comment about having sex with peppa pig...
#Slap that bacon
*God has left the chat*
John Krasinski in Jack Ryan. He's gonna make the Jim face the whole time.
*thinks for a minute*
I'm ok with that I guess.
Use protection, we all know where he's been
Where no man has gone before?
Geralt. I don't even need the money; I'll do it for a ham sandwich. Actually I'll pay him lol.
I'll bring him apple juice
Line stops over there... way behind me.
That man is unreal
*Toss a coin to your Witcher... a friend to humanity.*
SAME. I opened this post like "oh FUCK YEAH!!!"
Jess (Zooey Deschanel) from *New Girl*. I'll do it for free.
Great, I'll take Nick off your hands then.
Edit: ok this happens to be a controversial opinion and I realize that there isnt really one protagonist so i guess i would also consider Jim and/or Pam....either way it doesnt matter who it is cuz for 600k I'd do any of them
That's what she said!
Well, well, how the turntables...
Prison mike edition or Michael Scarn?
He's probably just gonna keep yelling that it's too raw, and needs more sauce.
idk, something makes me think he's a tender and gentle lover
Finna treat that pussy like beef wellington
“Feel it! It’s like fucking rubber, really feel it! Yeah? Piss off”
You, on Netflix.
Edit: rip inbox, joe would do to me what you guys are doing to my inbox.
Joe Goldberg gonna put your ass in that cage
Yeah dude. So i can fuck the other dude n there.
At least it'll only last 8 seconds...
Wayne from Letterkenny. How’re ya now?
Give yer balls a tug ya titfucker.
Fuck you Shoresy!
Does yous guys ever gets uh attentions paid to your buttshole? No?
*game of catch stops*
EDIT: first silver! Thank you!
hello there, Mr. Biden
General Ben Wyatt.
That's The Architect to you pal.
First of all, I speculate that she is the best lay in all of television history. If she approaches sex with as much thought and consideration as she does everything else then you are in for a wild ride.
Nah I’m pretty sure that’s Jenn Barkley
"I'm VERY good at it"
You just got Jammed
andy samberg..... done done done and done
Cool, cool, cool cool cool cool cool.
Who do you consider the main character from the Simpsons?
*fingers crossed for Moe*
Edit : Thanks for the Silver stranger!
No ones gay for Moleman
Like kissing a peanut
stupid sexy flanders
Mr. Robot. Cool, he has multiple personalities so I can finally have sex with multiple people; at least one being a woman.
South Park... so i gotta gangbang for 600k... or would i have to pick? If so... -kicks kenny into bed-
Dead Kenny or alive Kenny?
The price is right, is Drew ok with this? Because I could really use the money...
come on down
Geralt, of Rivia. He can butcher my blaviken any day
Ugh. June. Blessed be the fruit.
Patrick swayze, I’m not gay but 600k is 600k
You'll have the time of your life
Izuku Midoriya he's gonna smash me
I'm in my 30s, I'm going to have to pass on the money because I'm not Delaware smashing a 15 year old.
First, $600k is oddly specific. Anyway, Paul Rudd. I'm ok with that.
Thank goodness she's a woman now.
I wish I'd been watching Tennant era, but it's still a pretty good deal.
Time to find out just how hung a horse really is
The Marvelous Mrs Maisel.
Toss some ass to your Witcher!
Fuck, I just watched his dark materials last night. Can we say that Lee Scorsbee or Miss Coulter is the main character
Sorry dude, you gotta bang Pantalaimon.
Archer? I'm a dude, but for $600K I guess I'd do it. I'm pretty sure Archer is a top, though, so that's not great.
Adam Conover... I'm just gonna be told facts and knowledge about how sex is a lie made by advertising companies or some shit
Adam Ruins Yo Ass
Geralt of Rivia...yes please!!
Time to invoke the law of surprise.
Tossing more than a coin to your witcher
Oh valley of penis!
Nice. I was just telling my husband I would not do Henry Cavill as Superman, but would definitely do him as Geralt.
My husband doesn’t want me to do Henry either way, but that’s not the point.
As a guy.... [Hmm... Fuck.](https://ibb.co/9v33m9F)
It's not gay if its Henry cavill
I'm a married man but my wife would understand.
Your wife would only be upset you didn't invite her.
Share Henry Cavill?! I am not that good a husband.
That’s what I keep telling myself
Luka Magnotta, I'm screwed lol.
Who would you say is the main character from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? (Please say Danny DeVito so I can be happy)
Gary from Final space.
Either Dean or Sam
Bean from Disenchantment. Or Elfo. Maybe Luci? I think Bean is the main character though.
Lost in space... Do I get to choose which Robinson I sleep with or do I have to sleep with all of them and the robot? Lol
Geralt of Rivia. I just hope Jaskier will write a song about it.
Dora the explorer
Shouldn't have swiped left, Swiper.