T O P

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TheBardFidlen

Judge Judy. I hope I don't break her hip.


4LostSoulsinaBowl

There's no way this doesn't end with Judge Judy pegging the shit out of you.


[deleted]

Does Jesse Pinkman count or has it gotta be Walt?


BlitzFuer

Both


[deleted]

SAY MY NAME


dust_10

BITCH


rexmanly

Oh thank God, it was Calliou. He's dead, right?


BlitzFuer

You’re pleased that you now need to commit necrophilia and pedophilia at the same time?


ScooterMcThumbkin

Clone Wars Obi Wan Kenobi. Umm...yeah so, $600k is on the way!


dinhmatt

Hello there.


manujimi

Just make sure to be bottom. He always likes the high ground


ToniT800

Benito Mussolini Fuck


sibernetik

“I mean, Benito Mussolini used to force-feed people caster oil until they literally died of diarrhea. I mean, that’s gotta be where the goalposts are, right? Am I crazy?”


alcoholicmuppet

Who’s the main character on Sesame Street? Or am I just fucking my way through an army of puppets?


punromantic

I mean, I’m apparently having a four-way with We Bare Bears. You might luck out and just have one Big Bird.


Left4DayZ1

Uh... does it count if I have a kid's show on in the background and am not actively watching it myself? Because I really don't want to fuck a horse named Spirit.


Biggoronz

What horse would you rather fuck? edit: *JRHNBR*


Left4DayZ1

You know, that's not something I've really ever considered.


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Left4DayZ1

If I gotta fuck ONE horse it’s gonna have to be my guuuuud gurrrrrllll from Red Dead. Spent a hundred hours with with her ass dead center of my TV screen, I feel like I could get down without putting too much thought into it... as long as I got that little horsey face icon with a + next to it afterward.


HeyImFUCKYOU

That stamina meter is definitely going down


Left4DayZ1

Honor meter too


ilostmymind_

If it's an ensemble cast does it have to be a train?


AztecLeprechaun

What a coincidence, I'm fucking a train too! Can't wait for some private time with Thomas :D


[deleted]

If it makes you feel better years ago I used to watch that show w my younger brother and had a huge crush on Henry.


radicallyhip

This does not make me feel better.


sunbearimon

Dracula... I might have to pass


Lord_Farquad_3

"I want to suck your dick" *Dracula accent*


Electroniclog

*"I vant to sock your deeeek"* edit: my highest rated comment is about giving a ~~blowjob~~ suckjob. My wife will be pleased...


Bigk_s

"Bleeeeeeeh"


DouchyDoughnut

Gordan Ramsey. . . I can already hear him criticising my form.


SixFootJockey

"It's fucking raw!"


DouchyDoughnut

"Did you serve me a DIRTY FUCKING SAUSAGE?"


LightOfTheElessar

"I didn't order CRAB with this you miserable wanker!"


bender3600

As long as you follow his [tips](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIesCd4I4hU) you should be fine


thedudebythething

James May.


Good_Apollo_

Captain Slow.


WhatSheOrder

A nice gentle ride.


Semi-Hemi-Demigod

And you know why? Because he wasn't tested at the Nurburgring


smardalek

Hello.


alfredhelix

Oh cock.


mingling_pringling

I mean spongebob got a lot of holes so i think it'll work.


a_realnobody

This is my favorite answer.


ortmail

Mrs. Maisel 👍


coffee_cats_books

I'm in! I heard the French hookers talking about what she did to Joel's balls last night.


teacher_of_twelves

Tits up!


Jay-Joestar62

Who’s the main character of the clone wars?


kalkara24

Which arc of the show?


Jay-Joestar62

Sadly the zillo beast.


kalkara24

Oh shit


Jay-Joestar62

FUCK.


Philoctetes23

bro you're about to fuck the whole Jedi Order


octopus_rex

Execute order 69.


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Prankishmanx21

Go on...


FaultyToilet

Link, for science of course, please.


Jay-Joestar62

NO ONE IS SAFE FROM ME!!!


Philoctetes23

not even the younglings survived


DoctorGoFuckYourself

200,000 clone units are ready. With a million more well along the way.


consmabres

Have sex with all the characters


Tato7069

*Seinfeld theme plays*


newenglandredshirt

The real question is, are you sponge worthy? Edit: thanks for the silver!


DemonDuJour

Kim Possible.


ogresaregoodpeople

Why don’t you have a seat.


MyRushmoreMax08

...on my face, Kim.


friendzonedef

The live action as an alternative. The actress Sadie Stanley was 18 (born in 2001) when she made the movie in 2019, barely...................................................................


Send-Me-Your-Music-

I'm getting paid to fuck Kristen Bell


eazolan

The woman munches on Carolina Reaper peppers like after dinner mints. Do not let her breathe on you, your skin will melt off.


Send-Me-Your-Music-

im oddly even more aroused


PoleFresh

What till Dax finds out, he'll be all "damn, I've been doing it for free"


MegaNUT721

If it’s a main crew then you gotta smash the whole crew


trynumber53

Paw patrol. Fuck.


YoungCheazy

No job to big, no pup too small


JoshuaTreeFoMe

Orgy with the crew of the Roci AND $600K!? Whew lad!


graphitewolf

Hey same, I’ll bang Dollar store Jon Snow


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file321

I got captain sisko from ds9.


passingwisdom

What an unfortunate post to open in the middle of a 600 lb life episode, but you know what they say; in for a Penny...


Caedro

$1,000 a pound makes it sound slightly better.


mylifeisahighway

Yeah, $600k for 30 seconds of my time....I can tough it out. Edit: First silver! First Reddit award of any kind! Thanks!


puppehplicity

Arguably, you could be set up for Dr. Now... he's not the center of the individual episodes but definitely of the series. He's gotta be in his 70s and that's not my thing, but, you know. Might as well. Better than Steven Assanti.


Glittering-Inside

The Mandalorian and I'm not complaining


PixelCartographer

Yeah, Pedro Pascal can have the money, I'm already getting enough out of the deal.


Glittering-Inside

For real though.


Philoctetes23

you gonna make him take off that helmet?


eddmario

The helmet stayed on


FLRGNBLRG

This is the way


Glittering-Inside

😏 he can keep it on


Philoctetes23

This is the way


_Stalwart_

Eleanor from "The Good Place"? I'm in.


Gneissisnice

Pretty much anyone from The Good Place would be great, they're all ridiculously attractive.


Kiruvi

Put me in a Jason Mendoza/Tahani sandwich.


Nurum

Jason would just get confused when there is no sandwich for him to eat


Tichrimo

Or that they weren't making a literal sandwich of him: "Oh dip! You mean I just covered myself in rooster sauce for nothing?"


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consmabres

Lucifer i mean... i dont know what to say.


[deleted]

"Why, just say yes, Detective." \-Lucifer Edit: And of course my top voted comment is not actually me but Tom Ellis


IsaakCole

God dammit I can hear that perfectly in my head. Tom Ellis is a charming motherfucker.


senshisentou

I am like 97% straight, but if it came down to having to choose a main character for this challenge... Scoot over detective!


QueenLexa

Personally I’d do that for free so 600k sounds pretty sweet


billiarddaddy

Stranger Things. I'm out.


Downbound92

Technically, Winona Ryder gets first billing 👍


Nadocomedy

Winona is a fox. She’s dated Johnny Depp, Christian Slater, Keanu Reeves, Matt Damon, Robert Downey Jr, and Daniel Day Lewis. That’s some A-List dick right there (Silver! Thanks Ya)


dontsuckmydick

That's one hell of a D-List.


MangoesAndChocolate

You'd need that $600k for legal fees


[deleted]

Drake isn't.


Technogamer10

Anyone wanna start the ball rolling on the hoops we have to negotiate to consider Joyce the main character..? Cos I’m down for Winona..


Anthonybrose

Peppa pig Edit: i'm going to reach 69,420 karma on a comment about having sex with peppa pig...


Phantmax

#Slap that bacon


[deleted]

*God has left the chat*


Damnyoureyes

John Krasinski in Jack Ryan. He's gonna make the Jim face the whole time.


maddomesticscientist

Captain Kirk. *thinks for a minute* I'm ok with that I guess.


qualtector

Use protection, we all know where he's been


smallstone

Where no man has gone before?


Ripleyshair

Geralt. I don't even need the money; I'll do it for a ham sandwich. Actually I'll pay him lol.


baconmashwbrownsugar

I'll bring him apple juice


serpouncemingming

Line stops over there... way behind me.


endlessrays

That man is unreal


I_punch_KIDneyS

Hmmm...


Bromonster01

*Toss a coin to your Witcher... a friend to humanity.*


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aintnowallbih

SAME. I opened this post like "oh FUCK YEAH!!!"


EggsAndBeerKegs

Jess (Zooey Deschanel) from *New Girl*. I'll do it for free.


lacrimosa122

Great, I'll take Nick off your hands then.


uwu-smallbrain

Michael Scott?? Edit: ok this happens to be a controversial opinion and I realize that there isnt really one protagonist so i guess i would also consider Jim and/or Pam....either way it doesnt matter who it is cuz for 600k I'd do any of them


squrr1

That's what she said!


DiligentComputer

Well, well, how the turntables...


tigerblack84

Prison mike edition or Michael Scarn?


[deleted]

Gordon Ramsay. He's probably just gonna keep yelling that it's too raw, and needs more sauce.


TheWitchOfSand

idk, something makes me think he's a tender and gentle lover


Send-Me-Your-Music-

Finna treat that pussy like beef wellington


DummGhahrr

“Feel it! It’s like fucking rubber, really feel it! Yeah? Piss off”


red_killer_jac

You, on Netflix. Edit: rip inbox, joe would do to me what you guys are doing to my inbox.


Eddie_Mush

Joe Goldberg gonna put your ass in that cage


red_killer_jac

Yeah dude. So i can fuck the other dude n there.


fruitisatreat

At least it'll only last 8 seconds...


cotdangitbobby

Wayne from Letterkenny. How’re ya now?


duderex88

Give yer balls a tug ya titfucker.


thattiredgradstudent

Fuck you Shoresy! ....wait


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LilWalsh

Does yous guys ever gets uh attentions paid to your buttshole? No?


Dracowolfmon

*game of catch stops*


vanilaswirl

Leslie Knope EDIT: first silver! Thank you!


only_wire_hangers

hello there, Mr. Biden


idonotget_it

General Ben Wyatt.


IronPylons

That's The Architect to you pal.


vicrally

First of all, I speculate that she is the best lay in all of television history. If she approaches sex with as much thought and consideration as she does everything else then you are in for a wild ride.


MakeYouHamble

Nah I’m pretty sure that’s Jenn Barkley


bellefille42

"I'm VERY good at it"


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vanilaswirl

You just got Jammed


[deleted]

andy samberg..... done done done and done


Peregrine2976

Cool, cool, cool cool cool cool cool.


Ihearterrl

Who do you consider the main character from the Simpsons? *fingers crossed for Moe* Edit : Thanks for the Silver stranger!


hobbitdude13

No ones gay for Moleman


BOTCharles

Like kissing a peanut


dragoneye098

stupid sexy flanders


CitizenHuman

Mr. Robot. Cool, he has multiple personalities so I can finally have sex with multiple people; at least one being a woman.


Typical_YasMain

South Park... so i gotta gangbang for 600k... or would i have to pick? If so... -kicks kenny into bed-


Giant_bird_penis_69

Dead Kenny or alive Kenny?


LionKovu

The price is right, is Drew ok with this? Because I could really use the money...


4-stars

come on down


Bee_boi

Geralt, of Rivia. He can butcher my blaviken any day


Sleepysam86

Ugh. June. Blessed be the fruit.


spacecadetxxx

Patrick swayze, I’m not gay but 600k is 600k


vanvarmar

You'll have the time of your life


MightyPeng

Izuku Midoriya he's gonna smash me


[deleted]

I'm in my 30s, I'm going to have to pass on the money because I'm not Delaware smashing a 15 year old.


Porter_Dog

First, $600k is oddly specific. Anyway, Paul Rudd. I'm ok with that.


Metal-Dog

Doctor Who Thank goodness she's a woman now.


JustUseDuckTape

I wish I'd been watching Tennant era, but it's still a pretty good deal.


Tiger_irl

BoJack Horseman Time to find out just how hung a horse really is


Spidremonkey

The Marvelous Mrs Maisel. Nice...


Ginja_Ninja32

Toss some ass to your Witcher!


lornstar7

Fuck, I just watched his dark materials last night. Can we say that Lee Scorsbee or Miss Coulter is the main character


AStormofSwines

Sorry dude, you gotta bang Pantalaimon.


HothHanSolo

Archer? I'm a dude, but for $600K I guess I'd do it. I'm pretty sure Archer is a top, though, so that's not great.


Nyah_Chan

Adam Conover... I'm just gonna be told facts and knowledge about how sex is a lie made by advertising companies or some shit


DeathSpiral321

Adam Ruins Yo Ass


Caoranach

Geralt of Rivia...yes please!!


Zauberer-IMDB

Time to invoke the law of surprise.


WhaleF00d

Tossing more than a coin to your witcher


Mr_Rekshun

Oh valley of penis!


SuperMommyCat

Nice. I was just telling my husband I would not do Henry Cavill as Superman, but would definitely do him as Geralt. My husband doesn’t want me to do Henry either way, but that’s not the point.


Jtegg007

As a guy.... [Hmm... Fuck.](https://ibb.co/9v33m9F)


[deleted]

It's not gay if its Henry cavill


Youve_been_Loganated

I'm a married man but my wife would understand.


StillKpaidy

Your wife would only be upset you didn't invite her.


Youve_been_Loganated

Share Henry Cavill?! I am not that good a husband.


doubleOpete

That’s what I keep telling myself


sh440

Luka Magnotta, I'm screwed lol.


kill-me-now-reddit

Who would you say is the main character from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? (Please say Danny DeVito so I can be happy)


[deleted]

Gary from Final space. ^no ^thankyou


GetTheCReddit420

Either Dean or Sam


Reenie898

Bean from Disenchantment. Or Elfo. Maybe Luci? I think Bean is the main character though.


jxwtf585

Lost in space... Do I get to choose which Robinson I sleep with or do I have to sleep with all of them and the robot? Lol


SeamanTheSailor

Geralt of Rivia. I just hope Jaskier will write a song about it.


dodsdans

Dora the explorer


ulvain

Shouldn't have swiped left, Swiper. Sincerely, The FBI.