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Doctors/Medical Examiners/Morticians of Reddit, what is the weirdest anomaly you’ve ever found on/in a body?

Doctors/Medical Examiners/Morticians of Reddit, what is the weirdest anomaly you’ve ever found on/in a body?

feetofire

A mummified foetus - I was working in Africa and the usually very stoic Congolese surgeons called me in to theatre, gagging - the patient was an elderly woman with a protruding abdominal mass. When they opened it, they found that it was a long, long dead mummified foetus which as a result of an ectopic pregnancy, had somehow managed to both wall off after it died and somehow avoid killing the mother. Her body had encapsulted the alien tissue and over the years, it had slowly eroded her anterior abdominal wall to the point where it finally caused her to have enough symptoms to get something done about it. It was horrific and the smell was worse. Happily, though, the patient survived the procedure and just left the surgical team with a .. memory.


rowancrow

There's actually a term for it. The fetus is called a lithopedian. I believe it translates to 'stone child'


Chocobo-kisses

When my mom was a mortician, I would hang out in the mortuary watching TV. Her boss showed me a guy who had retained water and drowned. His balls were the size of a grapefruit. Not the most pleasant thing to see at age 15. When you poked him, he moved like a water bed.


ande8332

In med school I had to do a pelvic on a woman during my EM rotation and found a meth pipe. She forgot she put it there during a traffic stop. I also had to remove a nail from a guy's head. He figured it must've went off while reloading. He had intractable tooth pain, so he got sent by his dentist for a CT and low and behold there was a nail in his cranium.


Aj409

Guy came in for an outpatient MRI of his cervical spine. On the form where it asks if he ever had any metal in his body (specifically asks if any injured by a metal object) he selected no. Same with a verbal questionnaire. Also we do a keyword search in the patients hard chart for the term foreign body incase it’s documented- nothing came up. He lays down, and I start taking images while talking to him though the speaker. During one of the image sets- he starts pounding on the inside of the scanner and screaming. Figured he was claustrophobic- so I stop the machine and get him out. Immediately he jumps up and starts talking nonsense and runs into the wall, screaming he needs to get away from the ‘ocean’. I call overhead for emergency room staff to come down and security as he’s flailing, continues screaming and running into the wall before we restrained him. The staff rush down, and he’s talking a mile a minute and explaining how he is inside of the poster of the beach that covers the entire wall in the room he’s in, scared out of his mind and hallucinating. Security restrains him, and he’s taken down to get an X-ray of his skull. There was a BB in his frontal lobe. It had just enough ferrous metal left in it to travel a few millimeters in his brain. In the emergency department he kept trying to escape, and was very fast. While unrestrained he got up (somehow convinced the guard he was ‘better’). Patient bolted out of his room into the main hallway. A code was called for a lost patient. For over an hour nobody could find him, until a nurse looked into a large storage closet. Poor guy was found in a pool of blood. He crashed into a large mirror that was leaning on the wall, and had severe lacerations of his neck, face and arms. Efforts were made to transfuse him but it was too late. Still haunts me how a simple BB from 40 years earlier could do that. Discovered his brother accidentally shot him with a BB gun when they were kids.


OreoSwordsman

Dude I hope his brother never finds out. I dunno about him, but I’d be so fucking guilt riddled if I found out that my fuckup from *40 years* earlier had gotten my brother killed.


rellimnai

It's probably how they found out what happened. They asked the family about the BB and his brother probably said, "Oh my FUCKING god...." :'(


faded_rose

Did an autopsy once where the patient’s plasma separated from the blood. One giant plasma ball. It was really weird.


Purple_Chipmunk_

What would cause something like this to happen?


FakeChiBlast

Maybe someone spun him around really fast.


cmonmila

The weirdest thing I’ve ever faced as a doctor is also by far the saddest, and I still think about it every now and then. 5 year-old kid with oropharingeal cancer caused by human papilloma virus warts. She had been sexually abused since she was 2 yrs old or even younger by her father, which was now in jail, and got the cancer because of continuous oral sex abuse that caused papilloma to grow on her throat. No mother in sight, was being raised by foster family. When she arrived to us, the growth was already blocking her trachea and eventually she underwent surgery to remove the tumor. Then chemo. Then other five different surgeries. When I stopped working there she was breathing through a tracheostomy hole and still under treatment. Bad prognosis. It’s been 5 years since I left and she is probably dead by now. And it haunts me because no one told me in college that my profession would make me see the worst part of mankind.


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shell1212

My son (4) at the time went through a stage where he would put things up his nose, why? I have no clue..the first time I noticed his breath smelled made him brush his teeth (again) his dad was putting him to bed and not only noticed the smell but saw his nose was runny and with green stuff, I brought in some tissue wiped his nose and that's when dad noticed something yellow inside our sons nose, it was a piece of a nerf ball. 2nd time it was a lego, 3rd time a paper towel, that one was caught really quick, more than half of the paper towel hanging out of his nostril while he was walking around like everything was normal. We caught him a couple of other times trying to ram other things up his nose but luckily nothing got as bad as the nerf ball episode. Took him to the doctor thinking maybe sinus infection, head cold, allergies. Nope just liked shoving things up his nose, the pediatrician said maybe it's just something he'll grow out of, and he did. Wow.. I posted this right before I went to bed and woke up with the most up votes ever. My son is a young man now, those who asked I'm not sure about him putting other things up his other crevices/holes LoL.. No clue about cocaine either. But he does random drug test for work so I believe he's clean. I thought about grabbing his face and checking his nose for old time sake though. 😁😁


stillrooted

I did this when I was in preschool. My mother took me in because of the stink, apparently I was tired of wiping my runny nose so I decided to stop up the works with a cotton ball.


banditkoala

I'm not vomiting you're vomiting ​ HUURRKKK


Nevrologik

Neurologist here..we don’t get as many cool stories as the ER docs. However, when I was a medical student we had a cadaver with a very large and very tiger stripe tattooed penis. This was the only tattoo this man had, and was very unexpected when it came time to genital dissection. Obviously, this was saved by the staff for use on all of our anatomy exams (you walk around the room to different parts/bodies and identify whatever is tagged, and this specimen was always identifiable by the only laughing medical student as they kept rotating around the room).


rltraderman

Imagine donating your body to science only to get your dick cut off and laughed at for years more after your death


AdjunctFunktopus

In this small way, he gets to live forever.


Roo_Badley

They say you die twice... Once when you stop breathing and once when someone sees your penis for the last time.


NoNameWalrus

I like to think he got the tattoo shortly before his death just to fuck with the scientists


im_upsidedown

Father owns a crematory, we once cremated a man (with no clothes and not in any container) and along with his ashes came a massive belt buckle. I kid you not, we have no idea how it got in him but it was definitely there.


biosh

You can take the man out of Texas, but you can't take Texas out of the man.


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NonTimeo

On my deathbed, I'm going to stick some dynamite up my ass.


[deleted]

Gunpowder might be easier and you can likely fit a lot more as the powder will form to the shape of your intestines. :D You may also get high from the gun powder but that is something I will need to research.


Cypraea

Reminds me of the scene from Good Omens where the witch who was burned at the stake had the foresight to hide quite a bit of gunpowder and assorted shrapnel in her skirts.


now_she_is_dead

Teratoma consisting of a couple molars as an incidental finding in a pelvis xray (it was in the patient's uterus). Guy in his 20s who had a neck xray. It was discovered that the peg holding his head onto his body was congenitally absent (sans odontoid). It's probably a good thing he never played football.


penisrumortrue

> It was discovered that the peg holding his head onto his body was congenitally absent (sans odontoid). holy shit! would there be any symptoms for something like that? before, you know, decapitation..?


now_she_is_dead

Probably not, he came in for something else and it was just an incidental finding. I'm just glad he didn't hit his head too hard and paralyze himself before being notified of it.


Sire777

My dad had a patient that “slipped and fell” on a whole mayonnaise jar.


rouge_oiseau

"It was a million-to-one shot doc. Million-to-one."


Butterfly1014

Weirdest thing was in a woman’s intestine- a dead mouse. Tiny little thing.... obviously never got the chance to ask how the mouse got there as this was post mortem. Definitely unexpected though...


PrSquid

She probably swallowed it to catch the spider.


WeibullDisciple

That would explain the cat they found further up the intestine.


zane314

Cause of death: Horse.


RedditMayne

Lemmiwinks! No!


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tepchan

I had a patient intern year who had an interesting story about his abdominal pain and constipation. CT showed a can of hairspray which had been inserted rectally but migrated up his sigmoid to the descending colon. It had to be removed surgically, rectoscopes could not grasp the end of the can. I have an xray saved somewhere, I'll see if I can find it. Edit descending colon and pic: https://imgur.com/U178oEj Edit 2: Just posted the scout. I have some coronal slices too but the can is oblique to the plane of the scan so there aren't any good pics showing the can in profile.


[deleted]

My colleague was embalming an autopsied male and found two hairnets, numerous plastic tissue sample slides, a plastic urine container (with another person’s name on it) and over twenty seven latex gloves within his abdominal cavity...


Timmibal

Is this something you're meant to report to someone? Because it sure seems like it.


LeodFitz

I think that the assumption was that all of that ended up inside the patient during the autopsy. which isn't GOOD, but it's a hell of a lot better than if had gotten there earlier.


Timmibal

Oh, I get that, but it strikes me as just a wee bit on the nose for the ME to be using a cadaver as a waste basket, and if it wasn't a breach of policy it probably should be.


awh

At the very least, it's a heads-up to his bosses to add a couple bucks to the budget for next year to pay for a garbage can.


Axle-f

Sounds like a shelf of medical supplies fell in him while they were operating and the doc is like ugh just sew him up I don’t have time to clear that mess.


ZombyTed

27 attempts to* get them out, but their gloves kept falling off.


Frenchy4life

Wth did they use him as storage and sewed him up?


cactussidy

I’ve worked in autopsies and after removal of the organs and other matter, we would put the biohazard bag with those things in it back in the body and stitch it back up, and the technician usually did a terrible job so there would be chunks of biohazard bags sticking out all over. They always said it didn’t matter because the mortician was just going to open the stitches back up.


singularis466

Why would you do that?


harperjefferson

ER nurse; man comes in after a car accident, we do a brain scan for safety and find a 3 inch nail imbedded in his brain. Ask man about it, he says he has no idea. Admits he was once shot with a nail gun but HAD NO IDEA A NAIL HAD BEEN LODGED IN HIS HEAD. Had been there for well over 4 years. Edit: originally said 6inch, meant 3.


MusgraveMichael2

WTF? How did he not get infection or anything from that?


harperjefferson

No clue. I asked him what happened after he nail gun and he said “it knocked my tooth out.” He never thought to get it checked, assumed the pain in his mouth was from the tooth and eventually forgot about it.


kaleb42

Modern day Phineas Gage


cactussidy

Interned with an ME and we had a case where the death was very, very sudden. He didn’t really complain about any pain or anything, and then was gone. We open him up and there’s blood behind a kidney. Almost an entire liter of blood in the cavity, with no sign at all of internal bleeding.


kdoodlethug

As sad as this is, it's kind of a perfect death. Minimal pain, unexpected (no time to dread it), not terribly traumatic in terms of the visuals. I think something like this would be ideal late in life.


WisteriaDreamer

Not really fitting with the question posed, but a medical oddity just the same. My Mother in law miscarried twice before she had my husband and his twin brother. She had some kind of cyst or protrusion in her uterus that once one of the previous fetus got to a certain week of growth, it would rub against the protrusion and rupture the sac...and the fetus would not be at a point of viability and would perish. So when she became pregnant with twins, she knew inevitably she would sadly lose them at that stage. The timeframe comes and goes, fetuses are still ok and growing normally. Comes time to have them (early as with twins) and lo and behold, not only are they in the same amniotic sac, but the other twin's sac is around the one they shared. They were double bubbled. They had twin transfusion syndrome, so no one at the time had a moment to think about it (life or death emergency at that time) but the fact that they were double wrapped is more than likely the only reason they made it that far. Both survived the twin transfusion (very rare in the early 80s for one if not both to die.) Just an amazing story, I think.


LawnyJ

How terrifying it must have been to get to that time period and expect to lose your babies. Just waiting for it to happen. That sucks.


rebbyface

Thank god this had a happy ending. Good to read that everyone made it out alive.


haolohaolo

A real grub inside a tooth. An old patient came to us with a longterm and several pain in her tooth. The doctor extracted the tooth and put it into a tray. After 1 minute, we saw a grub crawling out from the tooth. This woman had lived with it for at least 6 month... Edit: I think it is probably maggot.


now_she_is_dead

During a class in university, we had a lecture on a nationally renowned entomologist, talked about CSI type stuff (bugs in cadavers to localize time of death, etc). She also talked about symbiotic relationships that bugs can develop with humans (ie, using maggots to eat dead tissue in burn victims). But then she finished the lecture talking about this guy, a long time coke user. Turned out he was so tonked out most of the time that a large number of maggots had taken up residence in his gums between his teeth and were actually keeping his teeth clean for him. The last slide in the lecture PowerPoint was a headshot of this dude, with a big grin on his face and you can just see little maggot heads poking out between his "pearly" whites. And that's why you don't do drugs kids!


Keyra13

Please remove this image from my brain


CaptainHope93

Tooth worms! Did you hold the tooth to a candle to burn out the grub, as medieval practice dictates?


hpmagic

Holy shit I am so glad I didn't live back then


[deleted]

~~I read an account of medieval doctor who treated a woman for headaches by sawing her skull in half, removing her brain, rubbing the inside of her head with salt, replacing the brain and putting the skull back together.~~ I got it wrong. The doctor cut the skin on her scalp away until the skull was exposed, and then rubbed salt on it, which killed her. I got the wrong idea because I misremembered the account mentioning that he rubbed salt “above and below” the brain. My bad. u/Zephyra_Of_Carim cited the source below: >He's gotten the story a little wrong, all that happens is the skull is exposed and has salt rubbed on it - source here on page 352 https://books.google.ie/books?id=UalnoF5MBHMC&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=false That’s a great book btw, I recommend it. Just read it more carefully than I did.


lzrae

I love modern medicine


mctaylor241

One of our cadavers had two spinal cords, aka split spinal cord malformation. Edit: just a first year med student here folks. Unfortunately it's against our school's policy for me to even take photographs, yet alone share them. One of our groups during our laminectomy (removing the back of your vertebra to expose spinal cord) lab, once they cut into the dura mater (the tissue that wraps around the spinal cord) noticed a spit cord in the in the thoracolumbar region, side-by-side. Our lead anatomist was very excited to see this and had the whole class come see. Apparently it's not the most incredibly rare thing, but it is the weirdest anomaly I've seen thus far. Edit 2: So a lot of people are mentioning Spina Bifida. From what I understand in my studies, that would be the result of bones in the spine not forming correctly. This was not what we saw. There were no signs of prior surgery or herniation of the meninges.


cheap_dopamine_hit

Interestingly enough I have had two tethered cords removed and have a split spinal cord. I plan on donating my body to science so in the future I'll be the weird cadaver with the split spinal cord.


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karlnite

How old was the cadaver?


Created4More

I’ve told this story one reddit before but, I think on my other account: I worked in medicine as an X-ray tech/medical assistant. One day we had a patient come in complaining of a stomach ache. Considering the time f the year it wasn’t an abnormal complaint to have come in our family practice. So we run him through the normal test urinalysis, and an abdominal X-ray (KUB for those medically inclined). Well, he was a shorter fella so I had a lot of room on the film. This kind of X-ray is one large shot centered on your belly button, it’s mostly used to see how full of shit you are. I went to the dark room to process his film when something weird could be seen near his butt. There was definitely a lot of poop backed up but I couldn’t tell what was causing the blockage. I showed the doc the film and she busted out laughing. The doctor I worked with was usually stone faced and serious about these kinds of things. So it was odd, we were all confused. She asked me to go into the room with her while she asked him some questions. The first thing she asked him was what he shoved up his butt. I was so taken aback by this statement I almost missed what he said. You see, this 40 year old man has diarrhea the week before and decided to shove a tampon up his butt to stop it. He tried to take it out but the string got caught, and then he “simply” forgot about it. We had to remove it. It was disgusting,, and I never did another procedure ever again.


FinancialFartdom

“How full of shit you are”, is that like a joke in the medical field? I thought my ulcer had come back because I was getting sharp pains in my stomach every time I ate...doctor noticed that although I’m skinny, my belly was sticking out (thought I was just putting on a few). So they did an X-ray, the doctor comes back into the room and whispers in my ear, “you’re full of shit.” I got pissed off like bitch I’m not trying to score oxys MY TUMMY HURTS. But she explained and I laughed, then cried when I was told to go buy an enema kit and a bottle of magnesium citrate.


Pendrych

Not sure how common it is across the medical field as a whole, but it's definitely established radiography humor. When I was in training one the techs I was shadowing with the other students hung up a KUB and said, "Kids, the first thing you learn in x-ray is that EVERYONE is full of shit." Someone else at that hospital referred to air pockets in the intestine as FIPs or Farts in Progress.


JaFaRr9

In my anatomy lab, my groups’s cadaver had died from systemic complications of stage 4 lung cancer and when we got to the lungs they were two rock hard, necrotic blackened masses that looked nothing like the other cadaver’s pink and spongy lungs. My anatomy prof took one lung out and wrung it resulting in this putrid black goo flowing out of the lung. As he was draining the lung, he mentioned in an Indian accent “This. This is what happens when you smoke”


FABULOUS_KING

just grabs a lung and rings it out. like a wet shirt? rad.


PJozi

Did it look a little like this old anti-smoking ad from Australia? https://youtu.be/GM2C0fiZcp8 Note: not as nsfw/nsfl as you expect.


HoodieGalore

Not as NSFL/W as I expected but still fucking disgusting


OneShortSleepPast

Heard a story from a urologist when I was in medical school about a guy who came in for a vasectomy. During the procedure, the urologist has trouble finding the vas deferens. So he orders a few tests, turns out the guy has bilateral congenital absence of the vas deferens (CAVD). But the guy had three kids...


SeparateCzechs

And Lucy had some ‘splainin to do.


StonewallHackson

He needs to have a chat with his wife.


chocolate_on_toast

She isn't dead, but this week i saw a patient with endometriosis in her lungs. Somehow, womb-lining cells had travelled to her thorax and colonised on the lung. She previously had symptoms of coughing up blood while menstruating, but because the endometriosis was so severe, was on the pill to stop her periods entirely. Then she came off it to have a baby, and after the birth, with her hormones all over the place, she developed two pulmonary embolisms (blood clots in the lung), and a few weeks after that, three successive pneumothorax (collapsed lung). The womb cells had tried to shed, and made a hole between the airways and the sac surrounding the lung, letting air escape. She's deciding now whether to let the surgeons cut out the part of her lung with the endometrial cells, to go back on the pill for life, or to have a full hysterectomy and remove her ovaries. Tough choice at 32.


bucketoc

That's like something out of an episode of House. Wild.


PurpleDido

This same exact thing was actually on an episode of house, funnily enough


ogresaregoodpeople

From what I understand, the cases in House are inspired by real life medical diagnoses. The show was originally conceived when creators read a series of articles about strange medical cases.


GM_Organism

Endo can be truly bizarre. An ex of mine had emergency surgery for "appendicitis" once; they got in there and discovered her appendix was stuffed with an almost fully formed fallopian tube. Another time her endo melted her bladder and bowel together. Fun times.


YoureInHereWithMe

I went a long time thinking I had no left ovary because I always ovulate from the right side and my left ovary couldn’t ever be located during ultrasound scans. Late last year I had laparoscopic surgery to remove some of my endo scarring and they found that my left ovary is stuck to the wall of my uterus with endo scar tissue. Poor little dude. They decided to leave it rather than risk damaging my uterus.


PyssDribbletts

I was a combat medic in the Army. Not super super uncommon (about 1 in 10,000 people have it), but I had a buddy with situs inversus. All of his major internal organs were reversed (heart on the rights side instead of the left, for example). As soon as he got to the unit, it was the first thing he told me. Wanted to make sure if he got hurt I wasnt curious as to why he had no heart, I guess. Edit to say: Had to look up the name and how uncommon it is, because it's been a few years since I got out and he's literally the only person I've ever met like that. I was honestly surprised at how common it actually is, I figured it'd be more rare.


[deleted]

I commented this somewhere further up, but one of the cadavers in the anatomy lab my first year of med school had previously undiagnosed situs inversus! Super interesting but not a great way to learn standard anatomy.


PyssDribbletts

Right? I mean, and it makes sense to tell the medic that, but I dodnt even know it was possible. Combat medic school is extensive, but they didnt cover it, so I had to ask him all kinds of questions to learn about it. Luckily I never had to actually work on him other than super minor stuff (treatment for heat exhaustion, etc).


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Sandpaper_Pants

Is that condition manifested in any way externally? I mean, does it cause you problems ever?


itskylemeyer

My friend’s brother has it. He also has some heart defects, and a liver problem. He looks totally fine physically, but a lot going on with his organs.


[deleted]

I have a friend in grad school with... partial that? Some of her organs are flipped but others aren’t. Bodies are weird.


Butterfly1014

Here’s another weird one... 3 golf balls in a mans stomach. His cause of death was lung cancer. Still trying to figure out how he ate golfballs/how long they were in there considering he was on life support for 2 weeks before he died.


adriastar

During an autopsy, we found a plastic shamrock that was about 3-4" big in some guy's stomach. Another guy had the biggest piece of steak in his throat. Cause of death was obviously choking.


Skittles5o9

Pretty memorable to me. I’m a doctor was working in OT (anesthesiology) An emergency came in the afternoon. Apparently the patient is a fisherman and got into a fight with his fisherman friend. Patient was impaled by a spear gun. The spear entered just lateral to his belly button and came out just above his right hip. He actually held this 6 ft long spear going through his body and walked into the emergency room by himself. When it was time to put him under he wasn’t scared /anxious. He said “just fix me up so I can go find that guy”.


Proteus_Core

> friend I don't think that word means what you think it means lol


DaddyTrashBoat

I was a nurse for the ER and a dude came in with a big vibrating dildo stuck in his ass and it was still on and we had to wait for the batteries to die before we could even do anything. There were 2 big DD sized batteries. He was there for like 3 hours laying on a table ass vibrating.


[deleted]

Serious question: Would that cause nerve damage? Also: NO BASE? GONE WITHOUT A TRACE. Always use flared toys, people!


Lego-hearts

Why did you have to wait for the batteries to die?


DaddyTrashBoat

It was stuck too deep to pull it out with it on a high vibration setting.


ohgodspidersno

Dude should know you gotta shell out for that flared base


Denncity

Not a pathologist but I work in a Coroner's office. On more than one occasion we have directed a Post Mortem on someone who has died abroad, often due to heart-related issues. I once got a phone call from the pathologist after he had opened the body to examine the heart: "This person died from a heart attack, yes?" "Apparently so" "You want me to examine the heart?" "Yes please" "...where is it?" Some other countries routinely remove organs when they are determining a cause of death, then the body is embalmed and sent back to their home country. We still often have to confirm the cause of death, so I've spent a lot of my time chasing missing organs around the world...


Wackydetective

Worked in a funeral home, had a friend at the medical examiner's office. A father was thought to have died of a heart attack and he came to our funeral home. Next morning, the pathologist comes in and looks at the notes. Calls us in a panic. We rush the body to the medical examiner's office. A few weeks later, I ask my friend what happened. The guy was actually murdered and was shot.


[deleted]

I thought this was gonna end with the guy still being alive


Wackydetective

Nah, we don't get the clear to even touch the body until the death has been pronounced. Then they wait an hour in some palliative cases just to be sure. It only happened once in my experience. It was an old lady in a nursing home, her son was told she was dead. So he didn't need to rush. He gets there to find out his mother was thought to have died, but came back only to die again 5 minutes before he got there ...for good. He was distraught by the time he called me.


alternatego1

Im distraught reading that. For both of them.


[deleted]

Kudos to that pathologist... somebody *almost* got away with it.


Jynxbunni

Had a kid, anus imperforate, not that uncommon. Basically, his intestines ended in a blind pouch. What *was* odd though, is that his genitals were rotated. When you took off his diaper, the scrotum sat on top, the penis was under it, pointing back. A fair number of cloverleaf head kids. An omphalocele that contained all of the large intestine, the liver, part of the small, and part of a lung. Edit: am peds nurse


Kiki_The_Kat

I didn’t know a person could be born with rotated genitals. That’s really interesting!


YourmomgoestocolIege

Did you also know that the peehole can be sometimes located at the base of the shaft?


pretentious_pear

Wait, what!? So what's at the tip?


YourmomgoestocolIege

Nothing, it's just a little nub


4RealzReddit

"How the hell did you get the beans above the Frank? "


acgasp

Cloverleaf head kids?


Foodstamp001

It's a skull deformity. Not the best google search.


[deleted]

I did it.. to everyone else, you don't need to.


LauraMcCabeMoon

Thank you for confirming my suspicions. Will leave unsearched.


lord_wilmore

Young man comes in complaining of headache. I work in radiology. We ask for history. Nothing to report, he says. We scan his head. CT shows a bullet rattling loose inside his sphenoid sinus (kind of between the nasal cavity and the brain). I asked the guy: "Have you ever been shot in the face?" "Oh, yeah, I guess I forgot to mention that." Edit: Okay this blew up. To clarify, the guy had been shot in the face a few years earlier, never sought treatment for it. The bullet had somehow missed all the vital structures.


LeodFitz

In fairness, that is its own excuse: "How could you FORGET being SHOT IN THE FACE?!" "I don't know. Maybe it was due to the trauma or medical complications associated with being SHOT IN THE FACE!"


PM_ME_CLICHES

This reads like an Archer bit.


fuckinallstarheatley

Thank god he didn’t get an MRI...


JustCallMeMittens

Part of an MRI screening report is asking the patient if they’ve ever been shot. We don’t just ask “do you have any metal in you?” because people forget about glaringly obvious things like bullets and stents. It also asks about things you might not think of like if you were in a bad car accident and there’s any possibility there might be small bits of metal still in you. **EDIT:** Got to work and added an image of part of the form I mentioned. https://i.imgur.com/sKMcGQE.jpg


Cypraea

Also welding and similar activities can lead to little burs of metal embedded in you, unnoticed, that can do damage with a high-speed exit.


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Cypraea

I saw a video once where they put a metal chair in an about-to-be-decommissioned MRI machine and turned it on . . . thing *flew* and ricocheted and tore apart all within a few seconds. The really troublesome thing is that you'd basically have no say in what direction it rips out of you . . . depending on where the magnetic field starts it could rip the bullet in your sinus cavity out your ass cheek, or change its mind midway through the trip and punt it through an armpit instead. Edit: did not find the video I remember, but [found one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BBx8BwLhqg) that has people throwing magnetic shit into it with impressive results, including some different shenanigans with a chair. I upgrade my prediction: emtering MRI machine with anything magnetic in you would give you *multiple* exit wounds, and some new entry wounds to go with them. Edit #2: Thank you to the first person who clarified that the field is always on and you don't *turn* it on, and to the person who provided a few paragraphs' worth of interesting details on how they work to make their comment something more than a third, eighth, or fifteenth correction.


whitepupper

So it would probably hurt is what you're saying.


LenDaMillennial

You would be of the died.


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PearlescentJen

This is absolutely not intended to disparage your profession because you do amazing work comforting the living but if people realized all of the things you have to do to grandma to make her look nice in her casket I think more people would opt out on embalming.


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ybeshay

This reminds me of a course I had in college taught by the chief medical examiner of Los Angeles. He went through some of his landmark cases and the craziest one was this story of an Iranian man and his wife. The man had a student visa but the wife was denied one so he tried to smuggle her out of the country in his luggage. When they arrived in LA and he opened his bag to find her suffocated, he left it there. He committed suicide next day. Super crazy story. I think there's a doc about it. EDIT: [found a story from la times about the incident](http://articles.latimes.com/1985-01-11/news/mn-8314_1_luggage)


wlii94

I'm a paramedic. I had a 911 call for a woman with a Quartz stone in her lady bits. During the ride to the hospital I asked why she put it up there. She said she hits it with her vibrator to add pleasure and "every now and then I cant get it out".


GledaTheGoat

I’m a carer for the elderly at a hospital. A nurse asked me to help her insert a catheter into a lady with dementia, but when we propped her legs open there was a horrific smell and we could see something dark in the vaginal cavity. It was a teddy bear. We think it was there a while.


thesilentlinkin

I work as a statistician in a major hospital so I see and catalogue ALOT of weird things. Worst thing id seen was someone come in complaining of leg pain and showing signs of septic shock. After examination dr orders scans and theres 2 metal rods (one in each leg) that werent on their file. Turns out the patient has been to SE Asia to get a height altering surgery and the 'dr' had used items youd pick up from the local hardware store to fix the bones after breaking. After extensive surgery patient lost the lower part of one leg and was lucky to keep the 2nd.


Ezekielshawn

I saw a patient with endometriosis (lining of inner uterus cells) in her nose. Meaning that she would get epistaxis (bleeding from nose) every month or so related to her menstrual periods.


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Azryhael

I was a mortician for a religious organisation, and I have to say that The Butt Plug Conundrum of 2013 was among the more difficult issues I’ve faced in the field. A decedent arrived in my morgue with a bejewelled butt plug firmly in place within the rectum, which led to a very interesting issue- if the family had known that the deceased was likely to have had such an item, we’d be screwed if we didn’t list it amongst personal effects to be returned to the family, but if they were as vanilla as most of the relevant religious community claimed to be such an item would probably be considered a slanderous perversion. Fortunately, my boss was a member of the relevant clergy, so I simply removed the item and popped it into a biohazard bag for him to decide upon. Edit- I actually don’t know what decision was reached, and alas, that boss has since shuffled off the mortal coil himself.


unlikelyresearcher5

What did he decide?


NSA_Chatbot

You'd probably clean it, then return it with a label like "cane handle? found in pocket."


[deleted]

Nominating this redditor as an international diplomat


mexicanceiling

WHAT DID HE DECIDE?!?


JakeSnake07

OH COME ON! You've gotta tell us what was decided!


Eternalsins

I think the best choice would have been to not list it. If they tried to say you stole it, then you could produce it, but chose not to out of respect for the dead in case.


cinnamonkont

Not me, but my boyfriend's mom is a doctor for people with special needs. One of her patients, an older man with Down Syndrome (among other diagnoses) appeared to have extreme abdominal pains that lasted for weeks. They did several tests and tried some medication but the pain wouldn't stop. He also suffered from constipation and stopped eating altogether at some point. The source of his trouble remained a mystery for almost two weeks and the doctors were starting to get desperate. Then suddenly one afternoon my boyfriend's mom got a call from her clinic (she's the head of the department so they let her know when something important happens while she's not on duty) that this man had finally been able to go to the toilet and among some stool was a blue latex glove. Over the following days he passed about 20 of these in total and he felt better and better and luckily started eating again. Most likely he had somehow been able to steal the gloves from the cleaning lady's cart and ate them without anybody knowing/seeing, causing the gloves to get stuck in his intestine while absorbing his digested food, filling up like little poop balloons in his stomach. This really is one of the weirdest stories I've ever heard, but my boyfriend's mom said he had been known for eating weird stuff, like this one time he ate a T shirt. Edit: TL;DR Man experiences abdominal pains, unable to shit and stops eating. After nearly two weeks of this he starts shitting blue latex gloves filled with poop and feels fine again.


fucknite69

My grandmother has 2 stomachs, like a cow. Her doctor asked if he could publish an essay about this, and she agreed. I have searched and searched and never found the actual article, but it's still pretty interesting. She is like 5'2 and 100lbs so no she isn't overweight or excessively hungry. She also found out she was pregnant with my mom after having a tumor removed from her stomach. We joke that they left the tumor and took my mom out, because she's kind of a human cancer lol


ICTpugdude

While working as a pathology tech, I began the post mortem inspection process so the pathologist would have everything ready when I called him. The deceased had been admitted to have a bowel resection and later passed. When I opened him up, the entire body cavity and every organ was covered in small tumors. Everything. I called the pathologist and he said he wasn't ready yet and asked how I had completed all the necessary steps so quickly. I simply said, I'm barely past the y-incision and I'm not comfortable with going any further until you get here.


lscreativecrochet

Not a doctor, but my brother and I were the first for my mom's doctor. My brother and I are twins, but I was born a month premature. My brother was actually a few days over due. My mom got pregnant with my brother and a month or so later she got pregnant with me. Her body released another egg despite her already being pregnant. Because of the way we were conceived my brother shoved me up under our mom's ribs. Her heartbeat concealed mine, so a month before my brother's due date the doctor finally realized that there were two of us. This was in 1985 ultrasounds weren't nearly as good as they are now. Edit:Don't use Reddit at 2 in the morning. I forgot I could edit my comment. I put some more information in another comment that got buried. Forgot to mention that I'm female. Another sort of rare occurrence, and I was born breech. My mom told me that the doctor had to pull me out because I wasn't coming out on my own. To add to my mom's luck I was sucking my thumb and tore her quite a bit because the doctor didn't realize my elbow was sticking up. Luckily for her though my brother had already been born.


chickadee5

My sil's mother was pregnant, had a miscarriage. Not sure of what happened/if she passed the fetus herself, but for weeks afterwards she kept insisting there was another baby. Had to go for endless mental health assessments, since everyone thought she was just having a bad go of grief. Turns out, she was still carrying another baby, her eldest child, born healthy and happy some months later.


bobboobles

Wow. Did her doctors finally say "Look, we're going to do an ultrasound to prove there's no second ba..."


DaGermanGuy

"...shit."


lscreativecrochet

My mom kept telling her doctor that there was more than one. I guess I finally came out of her rib cage enough for them to hear my heart beat.


Mr5yy

Had something similar happened to me and my twin. My mom was pregnant and went to have an ultrasound, doctor said she had a single girl inside. We were both roughly 2-3 months premature, born in November, supposed to be January, but low and behold, two male twins come out in the C-section. Confused the doctor for awhile.


lscreativecrochet

What a surprise for your mom.


Realnightwing

It is Called as Superfetation. My OBGYN professor just taught this to us on last Sunday & said it is pretty rare & here it is. Reddit never cease to amaze me.


afoolfor5minutes

First year of veterinary school, we’re required to do a dissection on a dog, and can elect to do a cat as well. One of the groups in my class opened up the chest of this cat that had died of natural causes, only to see it’s heart completely *swallowed up* by the diaphragm. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, the diaphragm is a really thin muscle in your chest that is a main contributor to breathing. This cat was born with a hole in the diaphragm (hernia), and had proceeded to grow around the heart like a little tent, making the heart more pillar shape then...heart...shape. And somehow managed to live almost to adult hood. So basically, the heart was half in the chest and also half in the “abdomen” just casually brushing against it’s liver.


drushkey

Asked this to an emergency doctor friend of mine a while ago. Patient comes in complainjng of severe abdominal pain, nurses take vitals, ask questions etc. Eventually my friend sees her and, after a few questions, he has her lift her shirt. The "severe abdominal pain" on the chart was in fact due to a gash so severe part of her intestines were sticking out of her. No one had noticed and she hadn't thought to mention that her organs had started leaking out. In fact, she seemed just as surprised as he was.


squidmom

I'm a funeral director. I havent seen anything too anatomically weird. But I did have an innocent seeming old man with a tattoo on his shaft. Also, we had an obese woman and when we were embalming/bathing her, a sugar packet fell out of a fat roll. Just one of those little pink ones. It seemed like it had been in there for a while...


stndrd_issue_throwaw

I used to work in the ER, and one time we had a young woman come in (maybe 22), who was morbidly obese. She kept gesturing vaguely at her lower abdomen saying, “I can’t see what it is, but something hurts.” In the course of the exam, we had to lift her pannus (the flap of fat/skin that hangs down... fupa, if you will). As it was lifted, we found an abscess, with a weird, orange substance all around it. Long story short, she had dropped a Cheeto while eating, and it had gotten stuck in her rolls. It stayed so long that it eroded a hole in her skin. My sister still hasn’t forgiven me for telling that story at dinner one night...


PeterMus

My mother is a nurse and loves gross stuff like this. I can talk about it over dinner no problem. The other day I was eating with my girlfriend's parents and started explaining atherosclerosis. I was describing a great video of a doctor literally pulling a long rubbery snake of fat from a man's artery. [Here is the video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yx9pwhTCi5c). They weren't amused...but that video makes me want to be a surgeon. I need to pull out every last one!


JimmyRustle69

I'm both hypnotized and horrified by this video and it makes my chest feel weird :')


dudeman14

Brb switching entire diet to kale and water


[deleted]

Sweet & Lo... oh no.


AShadyHero

Just had a flashback to the futurama episode of when bender turned human and ate himself to death


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stupidperson810

Theatre nurse here. Probably not to weird but we started a gastric sleeve on a huge women, stuck the camera in and she was riddled with cancer. Really weird she had no symptoms. She ended up losing all her weight without the sleeve.


[deleted]

When you said theatre nurse I thought you worked at a fancy movie theatre in first aid. Google set my uneducated self straight.


stupidperson810

I'm Australian and we tend to call it theatre or operating theatre. I think most other places call it the OR.


JobUpgrayDD

Sirenomelia (mermaid syndrome). Born about 5 months premature. She didn't make it, and she was brought down to the pathology lab for examination.


FatSquirrelz

For those afraid to Google it, its literally fusing of the legs into a mermaid tail-like appendage. Not too worrisome


Declanmar

Jesus I’d hate to see what you think *is* worrisome.


Polenball

Reverse mermaid syndrome, where your head and torso looks like a fish.


balancedinsanity

ICU nurse here. Had to prep a patient with a rectal-vaginal anastomosis (a connection between the vagina and rectum). Every time I would insert the enema into her rectum, all the shit water would come out of her vagina. I honestly don't know if this is my weirdest but it's the first that comes to mind. Edit: You people are awful. Before this my highest rated comment was about love and fate.


[deleted]

It’s sad but this isn’t uncommon with pregnant women who try to self-induce abortions with a coat hanger. They rupture the pouch of Douglas and poop kind of sits there and gets super infected


ImAGrizzlyBear

That is very sad and informative but now I'm extremely uncomfortable


Ratchet1332

Not a doctor, but my mother was born with a rare condition that, in 1968, should have killed her. A “twin” that failed never got fully reabsorbed into her body before she was born which resulted in a *massive* cervical teratoma (as in, was crushing her heart and lungs as well as her throat). The only reason she wasn’t stillborn was because her mother had a UTI which caused a premature birth by about 60 days (on Christmas, nonetheless). Only 1 surgeon was willing to even attempt an operation and he *just so happened* to be passing through town for a medical conference. Due to the loss of almost her entire thyroid as well as oxygen deprivation issues she was supposed to be mentally challenged, but she turned out fine. Couldn’t put on any weight for most of her childhood and persistent temperature regulations issues (she’s always cold) but other than that she’s fine.


squidthesquidgoat

Not me, but my friens found a horseshoe kidney. Basically one long kidney.


jcloud87

ER physician and i think I’ve seen almost everything... really... it’s like anything anyone can think that is messed up they have come to see me in the ER! Welded cock ring on for a week causing guy to lose his junk, fingernail polish remover bottle in an 85 year old mans ass that ended up causing him to get a colostomy, multiple small vibrators on and active in a lady that said she couldn’t reach it... even a terrible case where i found a big ass square 6Volt battery in a woman’s vagina ... she came in because she thought her pimp had put an oil can in her because black liquid was coming out, but turns out the moisture caused the battery to make connection and charred the inside of her to crisp!


mileg925

Wow, she couldn’t feel it?


jcloud87

To her credit, she was high on meth and PCP


[deleted]

Wow there are a lot of people out there living much different lives than mine


GetOutTheWayBanana

In cadaver anatomy, the woman we dissected was just filled with tumors. That wasn’t the way she died. One of her ovaries was basically entirely taken over by tumors. It was really odd to see, and odd that they had apparently never known/found out until after death. That was the big one, but there were so many weird small things that it makes you wonder what there is weird about your own body that you may never know!


kinemortophobe

It took 7 years for me to become pregnant with my SO. We had gotten to the point that I thought I may be infertile as I have family members who are. Found out at gender reveal ultrasound that my ovaries are covered in cysts and a few small tumors which probably contributed to how long it took to have a child. Ended up getting an ovary removed during birth (c-section). Non-cancerous. Bodies are weird.


samanthajonesnyc

Intrathoracic kidney AKA kidney in the chest.


[deleted]

Work in theatres with lots of other nurses who have worked in ER and one told me about a woman who came in with a buzz light year inside her... she had been using it to pleasure herself and the wings had released and it got stuck. Not an anomaly but my favourite “what’s the weirdest thing anyone has come in with” story.


Infected_Cunt_Wart

Work in orthopedics. Kid had a fracture we reduced in office and splinted. After a few weeks with proper healing he's transitioned into a cast. Usually we see them every week and re xray it to ensure no displacement. First week post cast application the xrays show two solid circular objects blocking the fracture. Turns out the 6 year old was hiding 50 cents he stole and hid from his brother. Not crazy I know. Just always found it funny how far siblings go to piss off the other


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tepchan

In med school my anatomy group had trouble transecting the penis on genital dissection day. Turns out the cadaver had a penile inplant. Two thick braided wires coated in plastic. We couldn't figure it out but the instructor came by and recognized it immediately, liberating the shaft with a vigorous upward thrust and leaving the implant protruding from the pelvis. He also had some hernia mesh but that was less interesting.


PolloMagnifico

>liberating the shaft with a vigorous upward thrust That sounds like fancy speak for "ripped his dick off".


bilgetea

“... liberating the shaft...” Does that mean he ripped the guy’s dick off?


tepchan

Sort of. We had cut all the soft tissue with a scalpel but kept getting stuck on the tough plastic coating. The shaft was snuggly held in place with the implant in the now hollow corpus cavernosa. It wasnt really ripped off, more pulled off. Think pulling a wrapper off a straw. But with more force. And a penis.


JustCallMeMittens

*shrivel*


its-a-me-a-Ren

Not a medical professional but I have one. Bit of background info for clarity: I was born with a potentially fatal kidney condition and had a few close calls in my childhood. By time I reached my teens my doctors were really concerned that I would end up needing a kidney transplant before I even reached adulthood. Now my dad is a universal donor so he volunteered to go ahead and give me one of his if it would even give me a chance. Doctors were game and he had to get examined and stuff only to find something really odd and kinda upsetting for both of us. Turns out that my dad was born with only one kidney. So that wasn’t happening. Lucky for me I ended up not needing a transplant anyways but my dad was really upset about that for a while.


coquihalla

It's a pity you and he didn't meet up with my mom. She's gone now, too, but she had doubles of many of her organs, including a total of 4 kidneys. So she could have donated to both of you with some to spare. For those curious, she had doubles of kidneys, liver, gallbladder, and I think one other organ that I can't recall. She had only one appendix, but it was up on the back, beside her spine. One of my docs checked me to see if it was genetic or to figure out if she might have "just" been a chimera, but I only got a semi-double uterus, shaped like a deep heart.


Dth_Invstgtr

A few years back I had a woman overdose by shoving 7 fentanyl patches inside of her vagina. Edit: I’m a Medicolegal Death Investigator 2nd edit (sorry I wrote this and went to bed): this was an accidental overdose. People do weird, unfortunate things when they’re hooked on sweet lady H.


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karlnite

Not in the biz, but my Granda went for an ultrasound at 80 (his first) turned out his liver was twice as big, only had one kidney, and his gull bladder and some intestines were all twisted and backwards. The doctors felt it should have caused problems earlier, they just removed his gull and a some other stuff and he lived another 8 years.


Soggy_Biscuit_

> Not in the biz Impeccable twist on the old classic "not a doctor but". 5 stars.


ChockBox

Maggots in a guy’s suprapubic catheter. They were borrowing around the tubing, and the urologist had to flush maggots from the guy’s bladder.


KimmyKimmyCocoaPop

None of the above but a nurse. This made me think of two interesting ones: A woman unintentionally dye her skin blue from her homemade concoction to treat a skin issue. Another woman who, when laying down flat, had one perky breast and one lumpy lopsided one. Turned out she fell somehow and managed to pop her implant.


lifewithsamson

Worked for the local medical examiners for a few years. Got a guy who died at home and wasn’t found for a couple days. His cats had snacked in him a bit (not super uncommon but still unnerving in concept). In his pockets, found a receipt for cat food.


F4STW4LKER

Must not have been Fancy Feast.