T O P
Ignisleo

Paying the guy in the bathroom who hand me a paper towel. Super uncomfortable man.


farfallaFX

Stuff in hotel mini fridges. No way I'm paying $7 for some water


I0I0I0I

I've stayed at a couple places that have RFID tags on the products. Simply removing them from the fridge causes you to get charged, whether you actually consume them or not. But do they tell you that? Nooooo....


ctrl_alt_mit

I was in Italy. Young and dumb. In my hotel room was a fridge with cold cans of beer and soda. One night I came back after a night of drinking and helped myself to the fridge then a friend told me I’d be charged ridiculously for drinking them. So I went to the closest shop and bought the exact same stuff and replaced it all :p


heffernoise

Convenience fees for paying my bills electronically. Convenience fees are the modern version of highway robbery.


caenglish

No kidding. There’s a $10 convenience fee if I want to make my car payment online. Because, you know, I’m not paying them enough already.


[deleted]

My last apartment took like $5 off rent monthly with auto payments online. They also charged a $7 fee each time I paid this way.


nanna_mouse

My wireless provider charges a $3 convenience fee for paying in store. Last month, the other person on my plan payed her portion of the bill in store. The employee added the fee to the bill but didn't charge it to my friend's card, so our phones got cut off because we were $3 short on the bill. Convenience my ass. Edit: I guess technically it's a retailer and apparently the difference is important to some people. Also it's prepaid service so yes, they do shut you off if your bill isn't fully paid, no exceptions.


rhynoplaz

There was a bank that charged a $3 fee to make any transaction through a teller. They wanted everything done through their ATM. The bank sucked for other reasons so we decided to close our account. Obviously that can't be done through the ATM, so we went to the teller, asked to close the account, and he gave us all the money we had in there. A month later we get a statement that said we owed them almost $1000. The $3 convenience fee, and $30 for every day that the account had a negative balance! We were able to call and explain what happened and didn't have to pay it, but that was some stupid bullshit.


BawaPawa

Anything that's buyable in an airplane.


Han-ChewieSexyFanfic

They’re pretty close to starting charging us for oxygen, though.


Holyburrito

If the bag does not inflate, insert five dollars and wait.


GameEconomist

Overpriced cables. Microcenter wanted $20 for a mini USB cable. I bought a $12 CD burner that came with a mini USB cable instead.


LS240

Recently bought a new 4K Samsung tv from Best Buy and had to refrain from laughing in the salesman's face when he said "You'll want to budget around $150 for high speed HDMI cables as well so you know you're getting the best out of your new TV." Yeah, my Xbox One X came with a free one, thanks.


Smexyghettochick

Probably late but I refuse to pay for a parking pass at my college. I refuse to pay $400 a semester to *hopefully* find a spot. Thanks but I'll walk


persondude27

I shattered my hip the last semester of my undergrad. Like, really, really, bad. I explained that I had no way of getting around campus, because my buildings were on different ends of a large campus and couldn't crutch fast enough. I talked to a bunch of different people, and their collective response was, and I quote: > ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ So. I needed a parking pass. They wanted to charge me the standard $450 to park at the furthest lot from campus (further than my house!), or $750 for the on-campus parking. It would be another $100 for a late fee, since the semester had already started, AND $250 for a handicapped parking pass! THEY CHARGE HANDICAPPED PEOPLE MORE. I did not pay them my $1100, but the University called asking for donations last Wednesday. I explained that they were to never, EVER call me again (especially at 7:30 at night), and that that was why. quick edit: Thanks for the support, everyone. [Have some X-rays studies!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/7jdxym/what_do_you_refuse_to_pay_for/dr7267y/) (SFW). For those saying this is a violation of the ADA, it wasn't until [2014 that temporary disability was covered under the ADA](https://www.bna.com/temporary-impairment-may-n17179881599/), and this was 2012. My uni's Office of Disability Services made it crystal clear that temporary disabilities weren't their problem. So, I made it crystal clear that their funding wasn't *my* problem.


OleMaple

Holy shit, is it even legal to charge handicapped people more? That sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen


magneto24

Or to charge them at all, even? That sounds so shady.


WaitTilUSeeMyDick

At my college, you could not get a parking pass as a freshman. After that? You could purchase a parking pass that was good for any on-campus lot. Except most of those lots are nowhere near any of the buildings that have classes in them. And there aren't enough spots in any of said lots. A year cost $400. A ticket was $75. I realized that they never really checked. So I payed more my sophomore year to have a pass than I did the rest of my time parking wherever I wanted and occasionally eating a ticket


[deleted]

My small uni required all freshmen to live on campus and buy their meal plan. A shitty buffet that was only served at certain times Edit: a lot of people have been asking which uni, it's not one you've heard of I'm sure as it's small and cheap (like less than $20k for my final two years of undergrad )


clams4reddit

Ya no kidding. My college would come pick you up for class in a bus/van if you had any sorta doctors note to prove you needed it. Just had to give them your schedule/times you wanted to be on campus online with a week or so notice.


Xhiel_WRA

That has direct violation of the ADA written all the fuck over it. If OP is in the states, they could own that school.


00DudeAbides

Get a doctors note and go to the DMV and get a handicap tag. Then threaten the university with an ADA complaint. Make them give you a golf cart or Segway.


persondude27

I did have a handicap placard, but at the time, the ADA didn't apply to temporary disability. It wasn't until a couple of years later that the [ADA was extended to cover short-term disability](http://www.adasoutheast.org/ada/publications/legal/Summers_v_Altarum_Institute.php) as well. Thanks for the support!


newausaccount

Re-enroll in the cheapest class you can find, break your hip again


integrateus

Cash only restaurants that don't have a cash only sign


Milts

As a mechanic, I refuse to have another shop work on my cars if it isn't under warranty or I'm getting tires changed. I was in a waiting room a few years ago and overheard the service advisor tell this woman that her repairs would cost over $1,600 plus tax for very simple repairs. Would have cost me a maximum of $300 in parts.


henryscarboro

Did you tell her, not bad if you didn't but could've brought in a customer. On the other hand you might sound like a shill.


edwwsw

CBS all access to watch the new Star Trek. Edit: Thanks for the gold. I didn't expect this comment to get so much traction. CBS are you listening?


caanthedalek

Any network-owned streaming service that can only operate by refusing to let other streaming services stream their shows. That's how you get your shit pirated.


[deleted]

Cable. You give me commercials or I pay to watch the show, I'm not allowing both, fuck that


Face_Bacon

This is the exact reason I canceled my Hulu subscription and moved to Netflix years ago. Anything else I want to watch is a ~10-15 minute google search and free. If I've got a convenient and fairly priced service that'll serve me content I'll pay for it no problem, if not I'm more than willing to consume that content without the producer seeing a dime of it.


boomboombazookajeff

In most cases, installation and repair of pretty much anything. Examples: Cable Modem - bought it at Target, installed it. No renting or installation BS. Car - started with spark plugs on youtube, then got really good at it and moved on to catalytic converter, shocks, etc. Computer parts - basically a giant lego set, laptop included. Takeaway: the internet is a giant textbook and if you have a lot of will, there is a way!


SteelTheWolf

I swear to god the ISP thinks I can't do mental math. "Well you could buy this super expensive router for $100, or you could rent from us for only $15 a month!" Well, I plan on being here for more than 7 months, so I'll buy the "expensive" router.


georgeapg

Where I live you literally can't buy a router. Comcast has a monopoly and a mandate that you use their router and that you have to rent it from them.


souwant2bcliche

Emergency room once gave me a pregnancy test I told them I didn't want or need. I only found out they gave it to me when the bill came. I paid the entire bill except the $12 for the pregnancy test. I still refuse to pay it. It's still tied up in appeals so I'm not accruing late fees. If they want my $12, they will pry it from my dead fucking fingers. It's become a matter of principle.


atthem77

I recently had a routine physical, and a bill came for a urinalysis that my insurance doesn't cover. It was only $4, but I refused to pay it. Why? Because I didn't give them a urine sample.


doodlebugkisses

That sounds like fraud.


iiooiooi

So much this. I'm diabetic and was once in the ER for something unrelated. Those fuckers charged me $96 to do my blood sugar. Thanks, I'll test myself from now on.


leosruletheworld

Paying monthly for a checking account..why do I have to pay money to save money


Bunny36

I got an account and they waved my fees because I was a student. It's been 6 years since i was a student and still no fees. I'm just keeping my mouth shut.


[deleted]

The damned Star Trek on the pay for TV bullshit. I pay for Amazon Prime, Netflix, and a significant cable package. Yet I still can't watch the show because they want me to pay another subscription fee? Fuck that shit.


di11ard

ADM - Adjusted Dealer Markup. I have been trying to buy a new Raptor from Ford for the last 8 months. All dealers in my area want between $5,000 and $10,000 OVER MSRP. Fuck that.


montagr

This ruined the Honda Civic Type R for me. I was interested in that one for a moment.


Railgun_Bro

Here in B.C. they're selling for around the $50,000 mark, a $5000 price increase over MSRP (after conversion). Oh how I wish the Mazdaspeed3 was still around.


EirikHavre

A TV subscription. I’m not gonna pay money just to have ads play every 15 minutes and not have any control over when I get to watch whatever I want to watch.


e22ddie46

Staying in hotels/going to my parents and watching tv after four years without cable was mind blowing. It is soooo awful


[deleted]

Everytime I go home I feel this. The insidious part is I can tell that they've gotten the content/ad ratio nearly perfected. Almost the exact second I feel invested in a show or movie on cable, it goes to ads. Except, because I'm usually ad free, the transition to an ad is so jarring that I turn off the TV and leave.


e22ddie46

I sit there like...the hell am I even watching this nonsense for? I'm constantly on commercials


TheFaceBehindItAll

The worst is day time (stay at home parent/ old people) television. Like: Runtime: 60 minutes Commercials: 25min "coming up" / "previously on" : 15min The actual show: 20min And my mom doesn't understand why I can't put up with it when I visit. How does she not understand you can watch 3 episodes in the time it takes 1 to play


DMann420

I remember a few years back there was that station (Sfx?) that would speed up parts of movies with no talking so they could fit in more commercials. It took me a while to realize until a movie had a song I really recognized and knew for certain it was sped up.


gengar_the_duck

It's common to slightly speed up movies on a lot of channels. It's weird and throws everything off but it's hard to place it. But then they can fit in a few more ads.


ovalseven

Installation fees. You need me to have your service just as much as I want your service. It's a two way deal. Charging me an installation fee is like charging me for the handshake. How about I charge you a fee for letting you into my house? Then we're even.


runasaur

serious question... how do you actually refuse to pay for it? "Yes, I would like service to my new apartment, but don't add that $20 installation fee, thanks".


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bloop_bloop91

I did that with Comcast, the previous tenant had internet with Comcast, so just plug in the modem and troubleshoot from there if needed. I Call Comcast, I ask them if I can install myself, and the person acts rude and snippy and says I wouldn’t know what to do. I’d happily pay if my self install didn’t work, so I call again and ask nicely, they say no I need to pay the $70 fee or something, so I said yeah no, switched to WOW internet and they gladly waved the install fee; I got a faster speed at a better price and I own my modem so I don’t have to “rent” theirs. Comcast called me several times since, also when I moved I switched from At&t and when they called I had them list that they oppose net neutrality as the reason I left them.


GasTsnk87

I'm so glad I don't have to deal with them. When my electric provider offered fiber, they had to run a line under ground to my house, install the converter box, run the line inside the house, hook up the router, not to mention all the work installing the actual lines on their poles. And I didn't even have to talk my way into free installation. It was just a implied thing that it was free. Like "of course it's free sir, we're getting your money every month for the service aren't we?" I think I'm one of the few that has nothing bad to say about my ISP.


PhDOH

I grew up on a farm that wasn't connected to the water main. We maintained our own well, the pipes, the pump, the tank. When the pipes froze or it didn't rain for ages we had no/limited water. The water company kept trying to charge us for our water. We said we'd pay if they supplied us with water. They wanted us to pay to have pipes put in to connect the house to the mains. Nah. They still wanted us to pay for the water we collected ourselves. Nah.


I_Has_A_Hat

And they'll be by sometime between 9:00AM and 6:00PM. If you miss them, they'll charge you a reschedule fee because of how much you inconvenienced the technicians for having to drive ALL THE WAY out there; nearly 5 whole miles from their HQ.


[deleted]

[Twists nipples]


stevop86121

Micro transactions


TLOC81

Paying a door guy at a hotel to open a door for me when I leave a hotel in New York or walking me to the cab that is sitting out front just so I have to give you a tip.


WD-4O

Travelled from Australia to New York about a year ago... Holy fuck the amount of things you are expected to pay for is insane. It actually left a bad taste in my mouth at the end of the trip. I know I am not accustomed to it and I will probably come across as rude to people who are. But to pay someone to open a door for me when I didnt ask them to open a door? Someone rushing out to my taxi to grab my bags before I get a chance to, no thank you. My wife and I bought a 5 day pass on one of the site seeing, hop on/hop off buses so we could get around cheaply while in Manhattan. The first time we used it we tipped the driver and the tour guide no worries. But then every single time we used it just for a lift, not for the "tour" we were still expected to tip. It got ridiculous in my opinion. If they need more money to survive, take it up with there bosses who obviously are taking advantage of them due to the way the system is setup, dont put it on your customers who have already paid to be there. Edit: Happy cake day mate!


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Slayton101

The minimum suggested tip at Sports Clips for an average $17 haircut (their cheapest adult cut) is $4 on the register up to $7. Dominos asks if you want to tip the cashier when you pick up your own pizza at the store. Subway asks if you want to tip the person who makes your sandwich. What the fuck is going on in America that I need to subsidise everyone's income with my own?


Rockeye_

Panera asks if you want to tip the workers even at the automated kiosks.


unlimitedshredsticks

How much was the 5 day pass, just out of curiosity? A 7 day metrocard is like 30 bucks and will take you a lot more places than a hop on hop off


WD-4O

Off memory it was around 90USD for the both of us. The first day we had it we used it for the tour part of it and really enjoyed it so we were more than happy to tip. Our first guide was a hoot, such a funny bloke, while others were hit and miss and gave off the presence that they didn't really want to be there... But still expected a tip and would walk down from to the lower level of the bus at stops to stand by the door with a tip bag. More often than not we felt guilty if we didn't tip and I couldn't help but feel that isn't how it is ment to be.


hardwaregeek

Looking away while refusing someone asking for money is a valuable skill in New York


[deleted]

Condiments. It's gotten to the point where I have to specifically ask when ordering wings, "Am I going to be charged for the blue cheese I didn't ask for that you're going to give me anyway?" 9/10 times the answer is, "Yes, it's $.50"


canadianguy1234

In Germany, you have to pay for goddamn ketchup in a McDonalds


IllAmbition

Your country is once more beneath the iron heel of tyranny


oilymagnolia

Only slightly related to your frustration, but I needed to get this off my chest... I drove through Arby's last night for dinner and when I ordered my medium meal, they told me they were "out of medium sized cups." So he asked me, "Would you like a small or large cup?" "Uhm, large, I guess." was my reply. Got my drink, my food, and my receipt... dude charged me $.30 for the large drink. Like, you couldn't have spared the presumably negligible difference between the cost of the medium cup and the large cup due to an issue on your end??? Pissed me off.


Protocol_Freud

Ah, fuck that particular store. I used to manage an Arby's. We had this exact situation once, out of medium cups. People who ordered medium just got a bonus 10 oz of soda instead of anyone explaining anything. When we were asked about it afterwards, then we explained.


TheEminentCake

It's what I tell my staff to do as well at my work, same with fries packaging. If my boss can't order in the correct amounts that's his problem. Imma give out free upsizes


sparrowxc

Also at fast food places "did you want Curly fries or regular with that." and they never tell you that the Curly fries cost more.


andnojoe

When I waited tables, I always made a note when there was an extra cost. Sometimes the guests got mad at me, like I’m pocketing these $0.15 upsells. More often, they didn’t care. My coworkers gave me grief about it, but I’d really rather risk a slightly lower ticket than get yelled at over a ramekin of sour cream.


deltarefund

You’re my hero. I hate having to ask “is that extra? How much extra?” The worst are things like seasoned sour cream. I’ve seen places charge $2 for some fucking seasoned sour cream.


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clocks212

Spoken like someone who has a choice.


xCosmicChaosx

This. Moved to a new apartment in a new area and every single ISP has a cap.


amandaMidge

Door covers. Sorry, I'm not about to pay for entrance to a bar on Friday night when it was free on Thursday. Edit: I want to point out that I am not one to throw a tantrum at the door in refusal, I just choose to visit establishments that do not have a cover. I'm not an asshole.


[deleted]

I thought you meant covers for doors. I was thinking that I've never had a cover for my door, maybe I should get one. I understand cover when there's a live band, it's like a cheap concert ticket, but making me pay to get in so that I can buy your over priced drinks is madness.


GreenChevy09

I grew up with the three stooges. Growing up you’d see 2 or 3 episodes before a commercial. It was manageable. Now a days they put 3 or 4 Commercial breaks Per episode! And there less that 15 minute episodes stretched to 30 by commercials . DVR or Not. Fuck Cable. Internet is King


Saint-Caligula

Convenience fees from Ticketmaster. Fuck them. Edit: wow thanks for the gold kind stranger.! This is my first gilding.


TheMarketLiberal93

Never understood that. Is it a tax they are forced to impose or something? I mean, their whole business model is about fucking convenience....why is there a separate fee for that?


BoJackB26354

They conveniently take some more of your money.


spotlightmaster

Listen to the latest episode of Freakinomics radio. Ticket Master almost takes the burden of looking bad as a service so it makes it look like the artists are pricing tickets cheap. I believe the money goes to ticketmaster and the venues while the actual ticket goes to the producers, managers, and artists, but I don't 100% remember and I'm too lazy to Google it. Give it a Listen [Freakonomics Radio](http://pca.st/episode/3c75037c-96b7-42de-875e-2107640d19aa) Edit: two comments later- better explanation ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


lieutenanttdann

College textbooks. Huge scam


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[deleted]

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Nickonthepc

Ar^rrr^^rrrr^^ghh


ZanXBal

No! We have to support- nah fuck em.


[deleted]

DO WHAT YOU WANT CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE


SnoTheLeopard

YOU ARE A PIRATE


burnSMACKER

YARR HARR


sgregs13

FIDDLE DEE DEE


DLS3141

Sure, but you don't get the online access code. The book is $279.95 with the code. or You can buy the book on the cheap for $19 and the access code for $269.95 Don't want the access code? Sure, but you'll need to get 100% on everything else in the class to get a C


mostlyamess

Just finished a semester where 2 of the 3 classes were completely online though the course sites. You didn’t buy the code you failed immediately. The other class required a book that was custom to that university, as an ebook. Couldn’t find it online was so forced to shell out. Fuck textbook companies.


DLS3141

> Fuck textbook companies. When I was in school, the biggest scam was changing editions with no substantial change in content. I took Thermodynamics 2 after they'd changed editions from the Thermo 1 book I'd already bought. I shelled out for the new book to find that the ONLY change was to convert all of the examples done in US units to SI units and vice versa. My prof, to his credit, told me to take the new book back right away and just do the problems in whatever units were in my book.


kw10001

What a nice guy


MonocleComplex

Or the classes that straight up require the access code to do the coursework through their special website. I've had quite a few classes now where I absolutely HAD to buy the book just so I could get access to my homework assignments as well. Cengage, Pearson, and Evolve can eat my ass.


ItsVinn

I hated it when our professors required us to buy these ridiculously pricey textbooks. I usually had to settle buying second-hand textbooks.


[deleted]

I just don’t require my students to buy the textbook. If it’s in the PowerPoint, it’s on the exam. Edit. Oh wow thank you! I just remember being an undergrad and hating asking my parents for textbook money. Edit 2. Omg fine person who gave me gold. I appreciate it.


Look_at_that_thing

A true hero. Thank you.


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jephw12

I once got in a huge fight with my then girlfriend because I refused to go to a nightclub in NYC that had a $40 cover.


tombodadin

I had a client insist on a bar with table service in the meat packing district... $500 cover. It included one bottle of vodka I later looked up @ $20 retail. Thank God for expense reports.


[deleted]

I refuse to go to any bar or club in this neighborhood. I went with a few friends last year and our guy-to-girl ratio was about 1:3 (there were probably 10-12 of us). The bouncer let all of the girls in but still wanted $60 from each guy. I have no problem with getting my buzz on at Chili's happy hour.


Madasiaka

$1 long islands at Applebees all month, friend Edit: [I wouldn't lie about cheap booze - it's real y'all](http://www.applebees.com/dollar-long-island-iced-tea)


earthquakes74

Oh god that sounds dangerous


Grahamshabam

They're probably actual iced tea with a splash of vodka


[deleted]

In Vancouver BC, my lady friend and I tried to go into a club downtown, but they wanted a 40$ cover fee for only guys. Like damn.


Bigtown7007

Wait till your 46...you won't even go to the bar when you tell yourself "I have fkn beer in the fridge"..


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RealAlexLindgren

25 here. It's scary out there.


Spyu

$10?! Where are these discount nightclubs?


WangFlexer

WinRAR. It's just been too long at this point, and there's no going back.


[deleted]

I read something about this, It's actually a very good marketing strategy by them. Their main purchasers are companies who want to be professional, while the constant reminder it gives you is good for brand awareness. In reality, they don't expect the average joe to pay.


[deleted]

That's brilliant! It makes people feel like they're using a premium product but it's actually free so allows the adoption rate to soar. Isn't this what WhatsApp did? They gave Android users 1 year for free but everyone I knew always got months added for free for no reason. On rare occasions, some had to pay. Apple users got a lifetime subscription for free though but this should still have the same effect. Edit: Shortly, around the time of the Facebook takeover, they got rid of this model and made it free for everyone.


LeisRatio

Wait, you can pay for WhatsApp?


fezfrascati

IIRC the old model was free for a year, then 99 cents every year after that. Some time ago they made it entirely free.


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Phalex

7-Zip ftw


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neomarz

Not to mention the outrageous prices some of them charge. I understand why but I'm not one to do it. Just recently saw the upcoming Con in Phoenix was going to have a photo op with Tom Holland, Chris Evans and Stan Lee for $800. I can buy a LEGO UCS Millennium Falcon with that.


qabadai

$800? Jesus. I'm more sympathetic to paying for the B or C list actors who had one hit movie/show and rely on the income, but those guys don't need the money.


haydn12345

Websites with the "Disable adblock or get a membership" popup.


JAH1205

My own fucking money, fuck atm fees


NickelFish

If you're only getting $100 or less, most grocery stores don't charge for money back if you add ot to your payment at the checkout.


iMuso

There are supermarkets in Australia that you can use a self-checkout to JUST get cash out, for free. No fees, no BS excuse of having to buy chewing gum to get cash out. I'm a massive fan, because fuck paying $2.50 to get my own money from a RediATM


smaghammer

Our atm fees are slowly disappearing here. About time.


junica

Get yourself a bank or credit union that will reimburse you. My CU reimburses me up to 3 times a month, no matter the fee.


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ss1111989

USAA has ATMs. They just aren't super common. What they don't have is physical bank locations. They have like one bank in Texas that you can go to, but everything else is online, over the phone, or at ATMs. That being said, USAA is amazing.


pdxwonderboy

Rosemary and Mint. Where I live (Portland), there are tons, and tons of rosemary and mint plants (and other herbs, though less reliable) growing in my neighborhood, in the public right of way and legal to harvest.


Zahille7

Of course that shit would just be growing in Portland.


[deleted]

My burial. Here I lie with no money/insurance/family & friends. Deal with it.


DYSPROssium

In app purchases in a mobile game.


aronocron14

If it's a small time developer or a service I actually use often, I'll pay the $0.99 to support them tho


Reddit_Bork

I refuse to pay to win in video games. It's the hard way or not at all.


Lyra57

I consider paying to win the same as cheating. Is it even truly winning if you took the shortcut? Gives me no satisfaction.


TheTrueJew12

At my college, there is a self serve coffee bar that charges you by the cup. If you keep your receipt, you can get a refill for free and can do so as many times as you like. I haven't paid for coffee since March. EDIT: It's about $2 for a 16 oz coffee


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DoctorSneak

sex


[deleted]

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DoctorSneak

No! How could you say that?!? *how the fuck did he know*


zumbafever

In store product replacement plan/insurance for kids toys, electronics etc.


school4life

Porn


hearse83

Yeah, especially when you can order the sears catalog for free.


baccaruda66

"DID YOU HAVE A GRUDGE AGAINST MONTGOMERY BURNS?" "No!" *BZZZZT* "Allright, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him!" *Ding!* "CHECKS OUT. OK, SIR, YOU'RE FREE TO GO." "Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight." *BZZZZT* "-A- date." *BZZZZT* "Dinner with friends." *BZZZZT* "Dinner alone." *BZZZZT* "...Watching TV alone." *BZZZZT* "All right!!! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog!" *BZZZZT* "...Sears catalog." *DING!* "Now would you unhook this already please?! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment!" *BZZZZT*


TheVentiLebowski

One of my favorite *Simpsons* scenes.


DoctorNoname98

That's a great joke without the last line, but the last line is really what I feel makes it a simpsons joke XD


Salad_Spork

Whenever someone says sears catalog I always think of like washing machines and fridges


hearse83

No, no, you have to flip to the women's wear section, right between the jewelry and shoes.


Av3ngedAngel

This guy sears


EmiliusReturns

I don't understand how those "adult video stores" stay in business. They must all sell sex toys and stuff like that, too. But still. I'd buy that stuff online and spare myself having to make eye contact with the person ringing up such a purchase. Edit: from the long list of replies, I'm gathering it's people jerking off and/or hooking up in the back when they don't have another outlet or just like that sort of thing, old people, truckers, and sex toys that are apparently better than the stuff online. Got it.


The0Alchemist

They has back rooms people rent by the hour to watch dirty movies and jerk off. Parking lot is full but you go inside and there's just the cashier.


EmiliusReturns

Why would anyone pay to sit in a back room and jerk off when they can do that at home? Maybe it's people trying to avoid their wives, I guess?


The0Alchemist

I have no idea. My suspicion is glory holes or similar naughtiness.


bunchedupwalrus

You should find the AMA of the porn video booth janitor. Or you shouldn't. Or whatever I'm not your priest


[deleted]

Random sex with strangers in semi-public places.


naomi_is_watching

Some people like the thrill of jerking off in public. It's less about the media, more about the experience.


ashleybalstad

When possible, tollways.


Emerystones

Tips on food I pickup myself from a restaurant. Edit for clarification: I tip when I order from dine in restaurants, but if you have sit in eating but no wait staff ( a lot of local places) I'm not tipping. Some of you making comments about how you made sure my order was right, everything was packaged properly, like is that not your job? I'm the last person who will bitch out staff anywhere and have spent a lot of my own time inconvenienced because I hate inconveniencing others, but I'm not going to tip a place for bagging up my food.


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nogginrocket

Learn to unravel sweaters purchased from thrift stores. My wife is a knitter and is swimming in cashmere fiber she bought for cheap. She can bring home 3-5 sweaters for ~$20, and she does this frequently...maybe too frequently. Edit: I was a little scared to tell her how well this comment has been received, for fear of having caused a run on cashmere at her usual thrift, and thereby damaging my knitworthiness. But she was glad to hear so many thought it good advice. And most importantly, I'm happy to remain adorned in hand-made knitwear.


Grave_Girl

Go to a yarn store and price the cashmere and then go home and kiss your wife and thank her for being thrifty.


[deleted]

Go to a farm and buy a cashmere goat. Let the neighbours borrow it to eat their green waste. Once a year brush it’s down out and spin it your self. If you have a male and female goat you often get 3 little goats once a year. It’s known as the cashmere algorithm 1 +1 = 5


PM_ME_YOUR_EVO

Or you can have 100 males and 100 females, and have 500 babies. Then sell the babies and use the money to buy cashmere sweaters.


xxxSEXCOCKxxx

Which you can then use to make more goats and start the cycle anew


scutiger-

If you want to destroy my sweater Hold this thread as I walk away


rocketscientess

I was shocked at the price of nice yarn when I started knitting. It’s the main reason that I don’t do much of it anymore.


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hamdinger125

Right? Life is short, and knitting time is limited. I want something that feels good in my hands. #Malabrigo4life


nnjb52

Just buy cheap hats and unravel them, then knit a new hat.


ScenesFromTheOffice

Pam: We can't let him buy our forgiveness with cupcakes. He was awful to us. And he still is. How much is a cupcake? $2.50? Is that the price of our dignity? Creed: $3.75 a cupcake, actually. $3.67 if you buy a dozen. Creed: I never forget a number. Names? In one ear and out the other. Places? Nope. Faces? That's rich. But, numbers? I have a gift. I guess that's why I'm an accountant.


crawfication

BOBODDY


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GreenChevy09

Cable TV, I’m not Paying Money to Watch Commercials


43-48-45-45-53-45

Old man story: When I was a kid and cable was new, there were no commercials because you were *already paying for the service*. To fill the time between movies, premium channels would have small content, i.e. Showtime Shorts.


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darkspy13

At least Netflix showed us that other options can exist. It's crazy how trained we were that commercials were the only way.


HateWhinyBitches

Commercials will return. They always return.


PuffPinga

Now they just use product placement in EVERY SHOW


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Albus_Harrison

Well if this old guy has taught me anything, it’s only a matter of time before we get commercials on Netflix.


[deleted]

That's what happened with Hulu. First, no ads. Then, some ads. Then, a lot of ads. Suddenly, you can pay for ad-free Hulu ... oops, now there are ads in your paid service. Now, you can't use Hulu if you don't pay. Fuck Hulu.


LukewarmBeer

Wasn’t SiriusXM this way for a while too?


ContrarianDouche

Back when Sirius and xm were competing satellite radio


andrewsb8

Now they have commercials to tell you they don't have commercials.


iceman2kx

It’s why Cable/Dish is dying. I’m not gonna lie, I was paying full service plus extra just to use the DVR function to record shows so I could FFW through the commercials. And the only shows I recorded were walking dead, tosh.0 and game of thrones. I’ve gone a 6 month stretch without even watching cable and during that time I was watching Netflix or movies. That’s when I really decided it just wasn’t worth it anymore. It’s been about 3 1/2 years since I’ve had cable. And to be honest with you, I don’t even miss it.


Araider_53

The doctor. Haven't been in years. I... I should probably schedule an appointment.


FriendlyITGuy

I'm going to take a moment and share a story of what is going on with me right now. I haven't had a physical in several years, mostly being a combination of I got off my parents insurance and even though I had insurance through work, I was too lazy to schedule an appointment. Fairly recently I noticed a hard lump on one of my testicles. I was hoping it would just go away, but it did not. The testicle started becoming more and more firm, and more painful. I finally scheduled a visit with the doctor, who did not have a direct diagnosis for me. I was sent to have an ultrasound of the testicle performed. Once the results of the ultrasound came back, I was directed to the urologist. I was hoping it was just some kind of infection, but it turned out to be a large mass that required the removal of the testicle. Needles to say I was floored, and drove home in a fog, not sure how I was going to tell my parents (I'm only 26). The testicle was removed that Friday, and I spent the weekend and following week home from work recovering. The testicle was analyzed and it turned out to be 100% cancer. I was then sent for a follow up CAT scan, in which they detected an enlarged lymph node, indicating the cancer had begun to spread. I begin chemotherapy on January 2nd. TL;DR: No matter what the cost, your health is important. If something doesn't feel right, don't wait until it's too late. I wish I had not waited so long to have this looked at. I could have gotten lucky and just had the testicle removed and not had to go through chemo, but unfortunately I waited too long. The good news is testicular cancer has a 99.99% survival rating. EDIT: Thank you for all the well wishes. I appreciate the support.


mapatric

"I could have gotten lucky and just had the testicle removed" a sentence no man should have to type. Good luck stranger.


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agreathandle

Can we just, as a society, collectively decide to NOT click through those types of articles? If no one does it, they'll stop, right? Right??


StuffInAPile

But I won't be able to see the shocking pictures from behind the scenes of Gilligan's Island.


alextound

#7 won't be a total disappointment


ostentia

I absolutely refuse to pay cover charges at bars unless there's a live performance or something that's actually cool going on. What, you want me to pay money just so I can come into your overcrowded bar and spend more money? Fuck off, I'll drink at home.