He stands in her bedroom -
she lies on her bed.
She's eager and ready and waiting ahead.
His overalls fall to the carpeting, free.
He faces her naked.
He says:
"It's a me."
Funny story, actually...
I once had my cellphone decked out with my own personal Legend of Zelda theme, with LttP sounds. The overworld theme was my ringtone, and the treasure chest item get sound as my notification tone. Well, my girlfriend at the time and I were about to get busy and right when I dropped my pants I got a notification...DUH-NAH-NAH-NAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
[The most epic James Bond stunt ever performed, but ruined by a slide whistle](https://youtu.be/fzCIbhLUUA0?t=30)
This was actually put like this in the movie.
The Man with the Golden Gun is the dumbest Bond movie ever made, and I love it so much. It's sublime.
All the Thailand bits I swear were made as some part of tourism campaign. You can easily hop on a boat tour to "James Bond Island" in Phangnga Bay, which is where they filmed the exterior scenes from the villain's lair.
A man of culture. I also adore Moonraker. Especially the glorious scene where the pigeon does a literal human double take as Bond's gondola comes out of the water in Venice and transforms into some sort of weird rubber land vehicle.
I firmly believe parents were all in on some conspiracy in the 90s to make sure their kids weren’t sneaking another movie after bed time by having that ear shattering shit included. I’m also sus of bakery plastic containers that come with their own alarm system that seems to be louder after midnight.
Sneaking some cookies and watching a movie without waking the parents was like it’s own god damn gauntlet.
And it starts of really quiet, before you even realise you're getting hard, and keeps playing and getting louder the entire time until you're fully hard
But it also goes with the speed of the rise
EDIT: AND every man has the same noise, but a different range or pitch or whatever. This way, a prankster woman(or mam, depending on the situation) could easily figure out a man's dong size just by turning him on.
Alternatively, you could create a beautiful symphony!!!
EDIT 2: MEGADIK - SYMPHONY OF ERUPTION
There's one condom brand that detects STD. If it glows green, it's Herpes, if it's glowing yellow, it's Clamydia and if it's blue, it's probably too tight.
O.K. so, I see a urologist every year as follow up for kidney stones. Dr. C.
Dr. C is a woman doctor, and I'm O.K. with that as she is more than a great dr. But she listens, takes time w/ her patients, but she also gets my twisted sense of humor.
Last year doc announces she is retiring, and asks, 'would I like to meet the replacement today?'
Sure.
In walks Dr. B, a young female Dr. who is the very model of her predecessor.
Dr. C asks: 'Do you mind if Dr. B does your exam?'
Me: 'That'd be fine.' But internally my mind is screaming [THINK OF BASEBALL THINK OF BASEBALL!!]
So I drop trou, and Dr. B gloves up for the exam. My phone in my pants pocket gets a text message just as she touches my package, we all hear the cartoon Road Runner 'MEEP MEEP!!' sound.
B jumps back, 'What was that?'
Dr. C is practically on the floor laughing her ass off. 'Oh Narc, I knew you would make this worth my while!'
The sound of the vines coming out of the bricks in Super Mario Bros.
Every time I'm close to cumming, it plays the "almost out of time" tune and when I do cum, it plays the stage complete theme, complete with fireworks sounds for every spurt. Followed by the Mario death tune when I'm flaccid again
..... and now I'm trying to figure out using wav files on my phone in proper timing.
So thanks for that.
Between cannabis edibles and reddit, these next few weeks are gonna be great! If I live, I mean.
The entirety of Monthy Python and the Holy Grail
Edit: For clarification, it's the _entire_ movie. Not just the noises, not just a particular scene. No. The entire hour and 31 minutes. Oh, and it will continue after I'm no longer hard.
"the bluetooth device is ready to pair"
when you insert it: _the bluetooth device, is connwcted successfully_
Assuming you get to connect
So anytime someone denies you, you always get the unable to pair sound?
I'm dead.
I've heard this version once: "ZE BLUETOOTH DEVAICE IS READY TO PAIRE"
I can hear this comment…
The Transformers sound. TSCHE-CHU-CHU-CHU-TSCHE
So does it do the reverse tsche-chu-chu-chu when the boner dies down?
Assuming the boner dies down.
Autoboner, roll out
\*Autoboner, rub out
No it’s [ÜŔ ŮŔ Æ Æ Æ](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/qq0q3e/a_filipino_seeing_a_peterbilt_379_in_the_wild/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
Ironically one of the few times ive seen Æ get used appropriately
Elon musk calling his son
optimum pride ÜR ÜR Æ Æ Æ
ŰR ŮR Æ ÆÆ Æ!!
babe! it Optimum Pride! `Ur ur ur ur ur ur`
mario mushroom power up sound, no explanation is needed
My first thought too!
He stands in her bedroom - she lies on her bed. She's eager and ready and waiting ahead. His overalls fall to the carpeting, free. He faces her naked. He says: "It's a me."
He's going the distance
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought the same thing. He's going for....speed.
He must be masturbating since.... He's all alone in his time of need
All alone! All alone!
in a time of need! because he’s…
Beating! And beating! And jacking off a horse!
He’s fuckin, and duckin, and doin it with force
Wow. The whole damn thing fits the Cake rhythm to a T. Good ear.
He’s going for speed
Wake up honey! New sprog just dropped 😎
Sprog strikes again…
Thanks Sprog!
Either that or Mario saying ''Let's a go''😂
Funny story, actually... I once had my cellphone decked out with my own personal Legend of Zelda theme, with LttP sounds. The overworld theme was my ringtone, and the treasure chest item get sound as my notification tone. Well, my girlfriend at the time and I were about to get busy and right when I dropped my pants I got a notification...DUH-NAH-NAH-NAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
At what point did the fairy say “ Listen” lol
Okay and now when you orgasm?
Cue end of Mario level music:
With fireworks. Top of flagpole reached.
Slide whistle
oh bloody hell I went through all the trouble of finding an audio example only for the first comment to be exacly what I was gonna say lol
Don’t be shy, share the sample
[The most epic James Bond stunt ever performed, but ruined by a slide whistle](https://youtu.be/fzCIbhLUUA0?t=30) This was actually put like this in the movie.
The Man with the Golden Gun is the dumbest Bond movie ever made, and I love it so much. It's sublime. All the Thailand bits I swear were made as some part of tourism campaign. You can easily hop on a boat tour to "James Bond Island" in Phangnga Bay, which is where they filmed the exterior scenes from the villain's lair.
A man of culture. I also adore Moonraker. Especially the glorious scene where the pigeon does a literal human double take as Bond's gondola comes out of the water in Venice and transforms into some sort of weird rubber land vehicle.
Hahaha no way, how on earth did anyone sign off on that
When the stunt driver saw the movie during the premier, he was so disgusted by the addition of the slide whistle that he walked out of the theater.
And as he slammed the door, the sound of a whoopee cushion went off to enhance the moment.
When we say the producers thought of everything, we mean the producers thought of *everything*!
Wait, the slide whistle was in the actual movie? Not just a YouTube joke?
It sure was!
The credits to the movie include the company that did the “spiral jump calculations”. Until I saw that I had assumed it was just special effects.
Beau and Luke Duke Incorporated obviously
Bo And they're a partnership, no goshdarn corporation, like the ones in cahoots with Boss Hogg
Later in the film James is infiltrating the enemy lair and the only audio is the squeaking of rubber shoes against concrete.
Dude needs some sneakers
[удалено]
THX opening music
The old school super loud version?
oh god, thanks for reminding me of that sound..
I firmly believe parents were all in on some conspiracy in the 90s to make sure their kids weren’t sneaking another movie after bed time by having that ear shattering shit included. I’m also sus of bakery plastic containers that come with their own alarm system that seems to be louder after midnight. Sneaking some cookies and watching a movie without waking the parents was like it’s own god damn gauntlet.
Me * having learned my lesson* turns on tv and makes sure it’s muted til after the THx sound
Exactly
And it starts of really quiet, before you even realise you're getting hard, and keeps playing and getting louder the entire time until you're fully hard
The THX Deep Note. It even has a musical score! https://www.thx.com/deepnote/
Deep throat my deepnote
always scared the bejeesus out of me when i was a kid haha
Me too. I know what it was though. It was the fear that it would never stop getting louder.
This explodes the speakers.
Boing
Boioioioioing
or the old car horn that sounds like "awooga"
Dawg 💀
But it also goes with the speed of the rise EDIT: AND every man has the same noise, but a different range or pitch or whatever. This way, a prankster woman(or mam, depending on the situation) could easily figure out a man's dong size just by turning him on. Alternatively, you could create a beautiful symphony!!! EDIT 2: MEGADIK - SYMPHONY OF ERUPTION
Nice reference 😆
Beavis saying "Boioioioioing".
>Boing And to be specific, the "boing" sound a door stop makes. The return to it's flaccid state would be "sad trombone"
Obligatory [Beavis](https://youtu.be/hoS1MCF8AeI)
I can't believe this is not the one and only reply in this whole thing
I cant believe this is what i said while waiting for the comments section to load 🥹
Lightsaber turning on noise. I'd want the lightsaber turn off noise when it goes soft, too.
Dark weiner
Bring me the Chestacles. I want them alive!
I see your Shwartz is longer than mine!
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.
Now, let’s see how well you handle it
*Duel of the Fates plays*
Dual of the Mates
Duel of the bates, the master-baters
Do you want blaster sounds when you nut, or the seismic bomb from Slave One?
Seismic bomb >
Imagine hearing that echo from inside someone you're dogging down on.
Anyone that doesn't choose the seismic boom is lying to themselves
The next best thing is getting glow in the dark condoms. You’ll have to make your own sounds but they’re a lot of fun.
There's one condom brand that detects STD. If it glows green, it's Herpes, if it's glowing yellow, it's Clamydia and if it's blue, it's probably too tight.
Windows startup
Windows XP to be precise
Nah, 3.1 every time
Ta-da!
Ok I imagined someone nutting intensely and the windows xp shutdown down sound playing when he did and I died this is my ghost typing
I was thinking more the [TaDa!](https://youtu.be/QDUv_8Dw-Mw)
So when you get Old and impotent you can have the error sound?
Both while getting up and then while getting down the windows shutdown sound
That stereotypical old car horn noise that sounds like AYOOOOGA
SCHWING!!!
Party on, Wayne!
Party on, Garth!
If she was president, she’d be Baberaham Lincoln!
If Benjamin was an icecream flavour, he'd be pralines and dick
I’m gonna be frank… Okay, can I still be Garth?
Hisoka?
Oh Gon, don't *look* at me like that!
Had to scroll too far to find this one.
The ICQ 'uh-oh!' message arrival sound.
I'm old enough to know...
Dial up modem noise
O.K. so, I see a urologist every year as follow up for kidney stones. Dr. C. Dr. C is a woman doctor, and I'm O.K. with that as she is more than a great dr. But she listens, takes time w/ her patients, but she also gets my twisted sense of humor. Last year doc announces she is retiring, and asks, 'would I like to meet the replacement today?' Sure. In walks Dr. B, a young female Dr. who is the very model of her predecessor. Dr. C asks: 'Do you mind if Dr. B does your exam?' Me: 'That'd be fine.' But internally my mind is screaming [THINK OF BASEBALL THINK OF BASEBALL!!] So I drop trou, and Dr. B gloves up for the exam. My phone in my pants pocket gets a text message just as she touches my package, we all hear the cartoon Road Runner 'MEEP MEEP!!' sound. B jumps back, 'What was that?' Dr. C is practically on the floor laughing her ass off. 'Oh Narc, I knew you would make this worth my while!'
Ah, a fellow person of culture. My default text notification is also "meep meep"
Metal Gear Solid Alert With accompanying bright red❗to appear with it Right above the crotch, of course.
This is gonna be a real solid snake
A weapon to surpass Metal Gear!
SNAAAAAAAAKKEE!!!!
#You’ve got mail
Genitalia.
Show me your genitals (*YOUR GENITALIA*)
You’ve got male
The canonical Hollywood movie sound for unsheathing a sword.
I thought for a moment you were going for the Wilhelm scream.
The original PlayStation startup sound.
It's just going hurt me because that sound is going to get me more erect when I'm already at full mast.
Leeeerooyyyyyy jenkins
“Goddammit Leroy! Goddamn.” “Least I got p*ssy.”
Godzilla scream
M1 Garand Reload Ding.
Surely this is for after you shoot your shot
thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, DING! "IM OUT"
8 thrusts. True to life
Rubber chicken being squeezed sound
sounds like this should be the ejaculation theme instead
This guy knows how to sound effect. I vote rubber chicken for climax noise, too. Very fitting
Halo shield recharge noise
Lol first time I've seen that sound referenced and it's for a boing a loing
I knew this would be here, the correct answer lol
Chewbacca sound
Ok that would seriously be funny
A spicy scene in a film happens and a theatre full of Wookies start roaring in approval
Ok that’s even better lol
If your a teenager you better hope for phone notification sound so that you don't have to explain random boners.
100% everyone saying these funny sound effects is gonna feel stupid when they have one pop in public! Give me the Facebook notification pop
Everybody's "phone" goes off when the hot chick walks in lol
The windows of the gymnasium are blown out by tons of THX deep notes during every pep rally.
“WHO KEEPS PLAYING THE ENTIRE SCRIPT OF SHREK 2?!”
do the roar
The sound of the vines coming out of the bricks in Super Mario Bros. Every time I'm close to cumming, it plays the "almost out of time" tune and when I do cum, it plays the stage complete theme, complete with fireworks sounds for every spurt. Followed by the Mario death tune when I'm flaccid again
..... and now I'm trying to figure out using wav files on my phone in proper timing. So thanks for that. Between cannabis edibles and reddit, these next few weeks are gonna be great! If I live, I mean.
The opening music to 2001 A Space Oddesy
Door creak sound effect
Like the AIM buddy list sign on notification? I can dig it.
And when you cum the door slams
[удалено]
Nuclear sirens I wanna cause chaos
“Hello my honey! Hello my darling! Hello my rag-time gal”
Fuck it, windows error sound.
tada.wav
Triumphant horns *Ta-daa!*
The Seinfeld music.
It's a me, Mario!
I'm a woman, but IF I had a ding dong, I'd want it to make the sound from Mario Bros when they eat a mushroom while getting hard.
Wilhelm scream.
The entirety of Monthy Python and the Holy Grail Edit: For clarification, it's the _entire_ movie. Not just the noises, not just a particular scene. No. The entire hour and 31 minutes. Oh, and it will continue after I'm no longer hard.
Ni!
Including the clippy cloppy Coconut horse hooves?
The sad trumpet noise
Flavor Flav saying 'yeah boi.'
Halo 1 Shield recharge audio
I don't have a Penis, but if I did, I'd want mine to make the Roadrunner sound- "Meep Meep!".
“Maximum Effort!” - Deadpool
Pump shotgun
Chainsaw.
Time to tear that ass up
And have it going the entire time you have the erection
That sound effect that Christopher Nolan always uses in his movies.
The alert noise from metal gear solid
Everyone in this thread is forgetting about unwanted erections at school, work, etc.
I assure you we aren’t
A low growl.
Hail to the chief
The Mario mushroom sound effect
YAAAA WHOOOOO the Mario noise
The law and order dung dung noise
That cartoonish BOIIIING you hear in old acme cartoons
GO-GO GADGET BENCH EXTENDER!
What yours doesn't make a noise??
"AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA !"
A trombone sound with sliding increase in pitch
Jaws theme. Duh dun. Duh dun.
Bayangang