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People who die after going over the safety fence at zoo, or basically any safety fence


The [guy who died](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Francisco_Zoo_tiger_attacks) when he and his friends taunted a tiger and threw garbage at it. I'm not saying he *deserved* to die but the bigger tragedy was that the tiger had to be shot after it escaped and also fuck those guys. Turns out a fence that's supposedly made way too high for a tiger to jump over doesn't take into account that the tiger might be really fucking pissed off.


I remember hearing the zookeeper defence to this and it was fucking hilarious "and how high was the fence?" "fourteen feet" "and did you know the tiger could jump that?" "yes" "you did?!" "yep, didn't know he knew that though"


Tigers can clear a 14 foot fence???


I saw one of the rangers at a big cat sanctuary when asked "how high can a tiger jump" and he answered "As high *as it needs to*. . ." This seems appropriate to point out here.


If they’re pissed off enough apparently.


Ugh! Fuck those guys is right!


Those asshats that taunted the tiger, they won their lawsuit against the zoo. It was essentially, “it’s your fault you didn’t do a better job of preventing us from doing stupid shit we knew was wrong, but knowingly did anyway.” Those same asshats got into trouble with the law multiple times after the fact, too. A true definition of pieces of shit.


Zoo fences are built to keep idiots away from the animals, not the other way around.


Jackasses who come to the stables I ride at and act weird around horses. Those animals play no games


I watched a video of a guy who kicked a horse and the horse kicked back. He definitely found out then.


yeah, i have experience with horses and they make it very clear when they aren’t happy. they are very good at telling if someone is gonna fuck around with them, and even better at making them find out.


HAH yes. I have a mare who is very particular about people not touching her face. I left her tied in the aisle while I put things away, and a drunk fireman came in from the pavilion we rented out for events (it was an annual xmas thing). He's touching her face and I see my horse's ears go back and her lip starts to curl. So I tell him "sir, not sure if you know horses, but ears-back means they're angry and..." He cuts me off to explain that he has six horses at home right as mine decided she had enough and grabbed him by the forearm and threw him on the ground tidier than most judo instructors.


You don't even need to know horses. Ears laid back and bared teeth is a pretty universal signal from any animal.


The amount of people who will just continue to ignore animal body language to do what they want is amazing. We have cats, very easygoing ones, and we taught the kids to pay attention, because the cats are autonomous beings, and do have limits and will definitely start showing when they’re about to reach them. The worst that ever happened would be small nips and scratches, but the kids figured it out fast to respect the cats’ autonomy.


>continue to ignore animal body language I was on a walk with my former housemate (FH) & her great dane (GD), who didn't like children. This was unfortunate, because kids tend to be fascinated by huge dogs. At one point, some kids came up & wanted to pet GD. FH tried to force the dog to allow this. She held his collar tight & wouldn't let him move. She also ignored that GD had his ears back & was on the verge of panic. I foresaw disaster, and chased the kids off. FH got mad at me. "I'm trying to get him used to kids!" She always was sort of domineering & didn't ike to be questioned at all. That's why were not friends anymore. I'm still convinced that I kept those kids from being bitten, my ex-friend from being sued & the dog from being euthanized.


Good for your horse!


That is so true. When I lived in NY, my cousin did the hunting thing, where horses jump the little gates and shit...well I personally witnessed some of those girls reach back and full punch the horses if they were "misbehaving." One day I witnessed a pretty nasty 16 year old girl at a competition punch her horse in the face only for it to bite her head, get a hold of her hair, and use it to send that girl *flying* So, no matter what, I learned to respect those horses and give them a wide berth, and not to try and punch one either


Holy shit she deserved that! I grew up riding and this makes me so sad.


The only person I've ever seen punch a horse was this huge guy named Mongo. Poor guy was just a pawn in the game of life.


You'd think it would be common sense to not fuck around with 1,200 pound animals that get spooked by plastic grocery bags.


Sometimes you don't even have to fuck around, you just find out.


I got "casually bitten" by a horse once, and it still goes down as one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. I liked the horse. It liked me. I was giving it pats, while it was eating. (This may have been the fuck-around part.) It was happy. I was happy. My arm was the same color as the straw. It nipped my arm and was like "Oh, sorry! That was your arm. My bad lol" then went right back to the straw. My arm had a massive welt for 2 weeks. It was like getting shot with 6 paint balls, in the same spot.


I was holding the world's sweetest gelding for the farrier one day. I was wearing shorts and he was politely sniffing my thigh when he decided to take a chomp... he just pinched the skin between his teeth and it hurt like hell. The owner came over a few seconds later asking what the commotion was. The farrier looked up," Oh, Pic just bit her in a spot I'd like to!"


An acquaintance of mine who is an equestrian: "Riding horses means you are on top and the horse is below. At least, that's the intention."


Teaching people how to work with horses is really just telling them a million stories about people who fucked around and found out.


Very true! “ I wouldn’t do that if I were you! Last time someone did that they got hurt!” And then idiot proceeds to say, “My grandfathers brother-in-law’s nephews uncles monkeys, cousin had a horse. I know what I’m doing!”


The insurance company doesn't want to hear "So I let them die."


But...anyone in a customer facing job is fine with it.


I'm legitimately terrified of horses. 6 ft tall 280 lb dude. Scared shitless of horses. Those motherfuckers could kill you in a second if they wanted to. Nah. Miss me with that shit. You're a braver tenno than I am


“Never trust something that can run and shit at the same time.”


Word “Tenno” detected this user plays Warframe. Beep boop.


Horses legit scare the shit out of me. It's like, you know a tiger is dangerous so you wouldn't fuck with it, but horses? They're, so chill and shit. You can ride them, people race the fucking things, but one skittish move and you're taking a iron-clad hoof to the head and it's game over.


People that walk around the ass of a horse without saying hi first.


I had this girl my grandma made me try to be friends with in middle school. She was just a horrible person. One day I invited her over to go for a ride (my grandma made me, I couldn’t stand the girl but her granny and mine were friends) we have about 20 horses at any time as we are a working ranch and we use our horses for cutting cattle. I put her on the sweetest horse we had Belle (she was trained to work with disabled riders as one of my cousins was disabled as well as autistic children so super gentle). Belle was strictly a saddle horse and didn’t work, she was a beautiful Tennessee Walker and my pride and joy. Belle apparently could sense this girl’s ugliness and hatefulness (she was ultimate Mean Girl) and completely out of character bucked her bitchy ass off and into a big pile of manure. The girl was crying, then yelling, then let out this blood curdling scream and proceeded to throw a tantrum like an overly tired 2 year old. My own horse a Mustang named Diablo (for a reason he was the most stubborn and defiant horse I’ve ever had, I swear he was the devil) didn’t like the loud noise and proceeded to head butt her in the chest and knocked her back down in the same manure pile. It was epic. I laughed my ass off then and I still laugh my ass of thinking about it 25 years later. Needless to say she never came to my house again and I got tell everybody at school about how she spent her Saturday afternoon covered in horse shit 🤣🤣🤣. After that she was the one being picked on and she got a dose of her own medicine.


I think your Diablo and my Whiskey could have been friends. :)


Those who go deep cave diving and ignore the warning signs.


Cave diving fucking terrifies and for the life of me I can not understand it. I was in Thailand when that soccer team got trapped. One of the people I was working with had a cousin on the rescue team. It was so scary


Ah cave diving...let's take two things which are already dangerous and combine them into one thing that's super, super dangerous. No thanks.


Going head first down a sloped tunnel that's too small for you in a cave called Nutty Putty.


Going headfirst into a tunnel wasn't the issue. The issue was that it wasn't the passageway he thought it was.


That story haunts me


I had to look this story up because I'd never heard of it and WTF people: "The cave was closed prior to Jones' death, but cavers had cut their way through the gated entrance." WHY DO YOU THINK THERE WAS A GATE THERE?


When I was young I boxed and eventually got into golden gloves. I got a few wins under my belt and said I wanted to fight someone legit, someone who would be a real challenge. An opportunity came up to fight someone very good, a guy who'd eventually win regional and state and later go pro. At this point I'd not lost or even been knocked down, so my confidence was high, that is until he knocked me the hell out very early in the fight and taught me that there are BIG differences in the different talent levels of fighting.


I thought I wanted to be a boxer until I met someone who *really* wanted to be a boxer.


My dad won a few amateur titles back in the 60s/70s, hard to tell when because he never talked about and I only found out after he died. I knew he boxed but that was about it. Any way he taught me to box and I went on to whoop the hell out of my friends that couldn't box. I thought I was damn good, so being in my late teens I was messing with my dad, he was old, out of shape and on oxygen. I got him to square up with me, I was play hitting him with jabs, made a joke about him being old and then I found myself in the floor stunned. He told me to get up because he only gave me a "love tap". To this day I don't know how he hit me, I never saw it but I know it was a right hand punch because the left side of my face was hurting, let's just say that day I learned about old man strength


I love your story. My dad was a boxer. He had us use the bags every day and do reflex exercises in the evenings. He was crazy quick and obsessed with being at his fighting weight long after his last fight.


Hah - I wrestled in high school and was doing ok in one tournament then before the next match coach just said “Hang in as long as you can”…..match started, we did the opening moves for about 5 seconds, and I’m suddenly pinned looking at the ceiling. Turns out the dude was 2 years away from being on the US Olympic team. I never had a chance.


Dios mio. Well, at least you had a brush with greatness.


I have seen two morons with big but fragile egos walk into my gym and pick fights with some of the amateur boxers. These two fellas had no idea how to fight or what they were getting into. One of them was downed in under 5 seconds, the other guy got whooped and kept starting more shit with other fighters. I think he went through 4 guys until he picked a fight with a young guy that busted his nose and mouth. Once he started bleeding he stopped. The dudes before this were just working him trying to get him to chill out and see that he wasn't good at fighting, but he fucked around with the last guy and found out.


“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” - Mike Tyson


Running of the Bulls in Spain. The videos each year of the people getting completely annihilated by the bulls is a great example.




What a link I want to regrettably click on so badly but i will stay strong and not do that


I’m subbed so I’ll tell you some I remember so that you can be confident in your decision. I man running with what appears an extra large New York slice of cheese pizza down his thigh, then you realize that’s fatty tissue from his leg being ripped open. Man being gored through the face, lost his eye, returned to bullfighting months later. Edit: words


When people were dressing up like clowns to scare people. It kinda stopped after one got shot


One in my cousin's area was standing on the side of the road in the woods and got fucked up by some very angry raccoons.


Note to self: don't try to clown on raccoons.


I used to live near an old Civil War battlefield and there was a road going through the park that was shaded heavily by trees - beautiful during the day and creepy AF at night. It occurred to me that it would be funny to dress up like a Civil War soldier and just stand by the side of the road staring at people at night. Then I realized that as this was in Georgia, there's a close to 100% chance I would get shot.


Go swimming outside the flags in Australia.


Same as when there's 'marine stingers' warning signs, blue dots scattered along the shoreline as far as the eye can see and yet people are still taking their kids into the water.


Hey remember how they said drugs can ruin your fucking life? Turns out that was true.


Neighbor’s 8 year old and his friend who tried to put the cat in the pool. Both kids shed some blood.


I love cats. They taught all my kids at a very young age how to be respectful to animals.


Cats are awesome at teaching consent, as your neighbors kids found out the hard way.


As a dumb ass kid I had a cat who was one tough MF (it caught a duck one time and liked to chase dogs), I wanted to see who who win in a fight the cat or the eels (I lived next to a creek). I tried to put it in the water and it wasn't having any of it, he clawed his way up my arm, over my shoulder and off back. I got some well deserved scratches that day, turns out in a fight between my cat and the eels, I lost.


That cat was born in a pool of gasoline.


Goddamnit Jack Bauer, you really are the man!


If the pet is eating/drinking/clearly not asking for attention yer gonna get a few new scars. Trying to teach my 6 year old this.


Mothering fail story…I had been trying desperately to instill this into my own (at the time) 5 year old when she went with my husband to his friend’s house for the evening. They returned earlier than expected and I could hear her crying from out in the driveway while I was still inside our house. When my husband walked in I THOUGHT he said, “She got too close to a cat and got all scratched up,” so I immediately said, “Oh well, that’s what I keep telling you, if you don’t give animals space this is what happens…” My husband looked at me really oddly and then clarified that my child ran into a large CACTUS in his friend’s yard because she had never seen one in real life before and didn’t realize it would be sharp/spiky 🤦🏻‍♀️


Oh well, that's what I keep telling you, if you don't give cacti space this is what happens


My younger brother used to try and carry our big old Tom around - all the time, didn’t care how much he got scratched and bit. One day he tripped up a step carrying the cat, it was probably half his size, and broke his femur. Six weeks in hospital with a traction cast !!!


Playing with electricity


I have a list of things I do not fuck with. In no particular order: 1. Electricity 2. The ocean 3. Electricity 4. Ouija boards 5. Electricity


What about electronic ouija boards in the ocean?


Believe it or not those are fine.


The ocean grounds the electricity and the board gives you something to float on. The ghosts are kept away by the salt. Checks out.


Oddly ok


As an electrician, this checks out. You fuck around at the wrong time once and you could be dead.


I have an electrician friend who says “never put your finger where you wouldn’t put your dick”


We had a safety class at my apprenticeship which was mostly our instructor showing us fucked up accident videos and pictures. The one I never forgot was a guy decided he would piss on a downed power line while he was drunk. Think of a match you burned for too long.


I had my first (and hopefully only) experience with downed power lines last spring. We had an absolutely massive storm that has 180km/h (~110mph) winds. I was driving to my friend's house and the wind pushed some power lines down on to the road. The actual cables ended up on top of my car. Thankfully I err on the side of caution and I wouldn't touch those cables for any reason. Eventually emergency services removed the cables from my car and I was good to move. After that I heard stories of how some people had been killed by not observing some very basic safety protocols around downed wires. I'm thankful I made it out of that incident with only some damage to my cars paint job. Insurance covered it to be repainted but it was a nearly $10,000 bill.


Or water... water will fuck your shit up


My bidet agrees


I wonder if I can steal some power from those high tension lines running across the back 40.


The fact that we know which mushrooms are safe and which aren't. Edit: Jesus fucking christ I woke up to 4k upvotes. Thanks I guess, lol


All fungi are edible. Some fungi are edible only once. *-Terry Pratchett*


GNU Terry Pratchett.


And which animals are rideable and which are not


The yellowstone national park once made a psot about the American bison. Fun fact: if you xlimb on the back of an American bison, and yell "yipyip" it will not fly, but you will.


Many years back, my husband was on vacation at Yellowstone. The tour guide stopped the vehicle and leaned out the window to yell at the shithead tourist who was trying to get close to the very large male bison so he could get a photo. Tour guide told him "If that bison decides to turn you into a red paste, there ain't nothing anyone can do about it." Fortunately for the tourist, he made a better life choice that day.


It’s amazing how dumb people are. I saw a massive cow elk getting some water near the visitors center at The Grand Canyon. I was amazed at how many people got stupid close to her for a selfie, and I was amazed at how fucking big they are!


I was at Yellowstone a few years back and people were doing that with a juvenile grizzly. There’s no limit to human stupidity.


Signs signs everywhere signs don't this, don't do that, everywhere signs They post a lot of signs, and every year, without fail, someone fucks around and finds out


I grew up near Yellowstone and the one that always got me wasn’t the bison—it was stepping over fences marked “dangerous ground”. Tourists do it all the time to get a better photo or look closer at something. Besides being impactful on the delicate ecosystem—we’re standing on a fucking volcano. Like one person a year breaks through a thin crust of soil and boils to death.


It amazes me how people don't seem to realize that the fluffy murder cows will, in fact, murder them.


Your boss at the warehouse is constantly telling you to keep your feet within the confines of your vehicle, and not to hang them, and to stay clear when walking, because if you don't, a 6,000 pound+ vehicle impacting a fixed surface will turn your foot into spaghetti sauce. Do not fuck around, ever, with industrial vehicles. Follow all guidelines, always. A powered ride-on pallet jack weighs as much as 2-3 small cars, when fully loaded. It will absolutely ruin you if you don't operate safely.


Those types of rules are written in blood.


Old man in my area heard a noise, went outside and found a fuckhead cutting off his catalytic converter and shot the thief prick in the dick. Made the paper.


There's a video of a guy clad in nothing but whitey tightys running after people trying to steal his bikes/cat. converter three times. First time he racks a gun and they run off like scared mice. By the third time, he's relishing chasing them down and smashing their windows with a bat.


Trying to armed rob a gun store.


That’s just dumb as hell.


My uncle was a high profile defense attorney specializing in folks who were arrested for drug trafficking. The greatest advice he ever gave to me was, if you want to smuggle ANYTHING. You can do it one time. Just once. After that, you will be caught and you will be fucked.


My family friend worked for the FBI and was part of an anti-drug smuggling unit near the border. He said the exact same thing. The cartels just constantly create new ideas and rarely use the same methods multiple times in a row. Plane, boat, underground tunnels, etc. It’s so much harder predict that way.


Have they done amusement park rides converted into fully functioning rockets?


Yes, they get them from Acme and have a Coyote operating them


Taking Julius Caesar hostage


The best part of that story was he was so nice and polite to his captors that they didn’t believe him when he said he’d come back and kill each and every one of them.


Didnt he also demand an increase ofhis ransom or was that someone else


Yep, that was Cesar too he was offended at what they requested because he thought he was worth more.


"And just remember, I'm going to raise an army and kill you all." "..." "..." "AHAHAHAHA!" "AHAHAHAHA!" "AHAHAHAHA!" "AHAHAHAHA!" "AHAHAHA- oh, Jules, you're a crack up, you are!" "Eh? Eh? Good one, eh?" "Nearly had me!" "Ahaha- seriously, though. You're dead meat."


Fucking with Caesar in general, until that one time anyway...


Yeah, Senators can get away with pretty much anything.


I just looked up this incident; it had been a while since I read about it. The pirates wanted to ransom him for 20 talents. He was insulted, and told them to raise it to 50 talents. According to Wikipedia, a Roman talent was ~71 pounds, usually of silver. This crazy bastard thought, at the age of 25, that he was worth 3,500 lbs of silver. Absolutely crazy. Of course he wasn't out anything and neither was his family. He came back and crucified every last one of them. I'll bet he got a lot of that back. To pay the small army he hired to back him up.


He *also* captured all of their ships, wives, children, slaves, and stolen goods along with all gold and silver they raided off other vessels. He got *all* of his money back and stood to make a good deal of money (even after paying for the army), but he donated most of the money to look for the public back home.


People that approach wildlife in state parks.


Kanye saying he can’t be dropped by Adidas, then immediately getting dropped by Adidas.


And then being denied by Skechers. And then SNL doing a bit about how Skechers has never been cooler than when they had the chance to say no to him.


Having unprotected sex a couple weeks into her cycle.


Had a young co-worker who a slow Friday at work was telling us he was going on a date that night and he was going to get lucky as she was a sure thing Somewhere in the conversation, we told him to make sure he had at least a 3 pack of condoms. He told us that, nah, it would be sweet he just had to make sure she was not having her period. I still remember looking at my other co-worker and raising my eyebrows... like, hol up. Turns out this guy (who to be fair was *not* bright), had made it to 20 years old thinking the safest time to go unprotected was the middle of the cycle. He had done it a few times before with no problem. My co-worker lent him some condoms and we spent a chunk of the afternoon talking about how sperm and eggs work, as we did not want this guy knocking up random women Sex education is apparently not great here in NZ.


You helped slow the spread of idiocracy Heroic kiwi, reward yourself


As an Aussie, there is a line about sheep here, since you treated your co-worker right, I wont use it.


To be fair, this was the deep south of NZ There was more than a few jokes about his guy (coming from a farm in southland) knowing more than a few 'country blondes'.


Ah yes, I’ve done that. The “find out” is asleep a few feet away from me….


Nope, it's been an hour. The find out is now screaming about something.


My buddy used to swear by the method where you only have sex at certain times during his gf cycle. 4 unexpected kids later.


What do you call people that use the rhythm method of contraception? Parents.


not changing you car oil and trying to keep it past 70k miles


My boss blew up the motor on his 30k mile f350 by never doing an oil change. Worst part is, we have a lift and a mechanic at our shop. He could have had it done at any time


ooh.. ooh.. i got a story for that. I had a friend that hadnt changed her oil in 50k miles because as she put it," It leaks and I have to add oil every month so it changes itself!" Yeah no.. When I finally talked her into letting me change it, I took out the drain plug and nothing came out. Literally a solid mass. I took off the oil pan and scraped out as much as I could and made her change it once a month for a year. It ran so much better after that.


Christian missionary who went to Sentinel Island and was killed


Every single person on Reddit in a relationship that wanted to do a threesome and were surprised by the aftermath


I think most threesomes in a previously monogamous relationship are the result of one partner deciding they want to fuck other people and goading their partner into it. After Pandora’s box is opened it’s just a downhill slide into turmoil. If you want to fuck other people and your partner isn’t on board sack the fuck up look them in their eye and tell them as much.


I kinda feel the same way...maybe I'm being mushy, but sex is like a bonding experience to me. It brings me closer to my partner, makes me more vulnerable and gives us the opportunity to open up more towards one another. I'm a man, and I just want my lady. I respect other people, of course, and my idea of intimacy may not be someone else's.


That’s how relationships are to me, I understand that it works for some people to have an open relationship but it would definitely mentally fuck me up.


I have read so many of those posts. Reddit is a fascinating place.


Anyone who ever got involved in a land war in Asia.


Or went up against a Sicilian when death was on the line.


Ahahahahahahahaha a ha ha HA!…….




Trusting my 21 year old boyfriend’s pull out game was strong. Young ladies and gents, the pull out game is never strong, it’s only stupid. Birth control is your friend.


That’s why I’m here


I really try to avoid birth control methods that have "game" in the title...


That dipshit that tried to shoot up a church in Texas and got domed from across the room.


I know people from the Army that couldn't even react that fast. Guy is a legend.


I’m too lazy to look it up but i believe the guy was a conceal handgun instructor.


I probably shouldn't have laughed out loud at this but I mean. That guy had a nice clean shot and knocked the guys block clean off his shoulders pretty much. That is the video that should be used in ever gun safety class in my opinion.


The story isn't quite so clear and happy. > Wilson is the head of the church's security team, who he trained, and once owned a gun range and firearms school.... > A member of that team, Richard White, sat behind Kinnunen to keep an eye on him. When Kinnunen stood up and pulled out a shotgun, White apparently drew his gun as well, according to Wilson, and was fatally shot. Kinnunen then shot Tony Wallace, a deacon standing nearby who was handing out communion, before turning toward the front of the auditorium. That's when Wilson said he had a clear shot at the man's head. He fired one round, dropping the man to the ground and ending the threat.


I was going 75 in a 55 today, following another car. A police officer comes up behind us, I slow down and move over to let him pass, the car in front of me proceeds to slow down to 9 above the speed limit and refuses to let he cop pass for the next eight miles. The speed limit changes to 45, the cops lights immediately get turned on and he gets pulled over. Let the cop pass you by so you an follow them above the speed limit.


I never feel comfortable with cops behind me. It's better when they are in front of me.


The only arsehole behind you should be your own.


I was following a cop above the speed limit, then got pulled over by another cop. The one who stopped me actually asked me if I thought it was okay to speed just because the first cop in front of me was.


You say you didn't know you were speeding, that you were just following the cop and relying on him to be a good driver and follow the law.


A former friend of mine was always a pretty decent street fighter (not the game), lots and lots of drunken fights outside the pub and so on. He had quite the reputation and he knew it. One night he walked up to this fast food place with a big line outside, and tried to cut in line. He was promptly told to fuck off. He obviously didn't like it so he sucker punched the dude immediately. Next thing he knows he wakes up at the hospital, his girlfriend crying next to his bed. As it turns out it was the national kick boxing championship in town and those guys get hungry too.


The Australian guy that ate a slug for a dare and died a slow tragic death. https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/health-problems/sydney-man-who-contracted-rat-lungworm-after-eating-slug-dies/news-story/08b0e700a8d6d6c6709d2dd92dfeaa8f


When I was 15 I finally confronted my moms abusive boyfriend. I stood my ground. He almost killed me. The only thing that saved me was the cops forcing entry into the house and pulling him off of me. I fucked around and I almost died.


Wow. That's awful. How long do you think it was before the cops showed up? Was your mom there at the time?


There's something that gets repeated, over and over on Reddit especially, but other places as well. "Bullys are cowards, and they will leave you alone if you hit them back or stand up for yourself." Well, yeah, most of them would *rather* you not fight back. But there are plenty of ones that will fight, and even let themselves get injured a little, as long as they're sure they can win. Those ones will only stop when they come up against someone they know they will lose to, like the police in your case.


The thing is, you're not supposed to just stand up for yourself and fight back. You need to hit them suddenly and with overwhelming force, you need to end the fight a second after it started. That's how you deal with bullies, at least when talking about school yard fights. Abusive father figures? That's a tough one.


I feel this. I tried to secretly record my abusive sister and she put me in the hospital.


The Somali Pirates who've attempted raids on Warships.


I was joking with my grandfather when I was a kid pretending to put my hand in a fan. And I accidentally did it and had cuts halfway through 3 of my fingers. He called me a dumbass and said go see your grandmother.


Choosing to fight someone with a cauliflower ear.


The guy who tried to rob a Taqueria in houston.


Seems like trying to commit almost any kind of crime in Texas is just asking to get a bullet through your head


The time the Crips I believe threatened a retired army/marine soldier by bringing his crew to shoot up his place. The soldier held the barbeque of a life time.


Not retired. He was an active duty US Army Ranger. ​ He got stationed at Fort Lewis, WA and ended up living in some shithole in Tacoma and got into it with drug dealers/gang members. ​ The gang said they were going to come shoot up the place so he called some of his buddies who showed up with their personal weapons, got into firing positions and waited for trouble. Trouble showed up, got into a shoot out and then they bravely ran away.


This is funny. I know gangs are powerful, but the Rangers are trained to take down guys a lot harder than those guys were. The gang shows up and expects to get their way but to the Rangers it was probably Tuesday.


The gangs they usually fight run their own country, a few guys running a neighbourhood is nothing.


Sir Robin ran away, he bravely ran away.


I believe the guy still lives there. His CO was kind of pissed that they only winged the bad guys, I don't think anyone actually died.


Internet trolls challenging fighters ! Always gold to watch that !


What chlamydia feels like


That dipshit in Nashville who thought it was a good idea to prank someone by approaching them with a knife to try and “rob” them. The would-be victim had a gun and shot the prankster dead.


My daughter used to be baby-sat by a woman who bred pit bulls. There were mostly friendly, but there was one fucking TANK that she always said to be careful around. Dogs usually love me, so I thought "surely it won't bite me. I got this I'm good at this." I bent down to pet the dog and got part of my jaw bitten off.


Holy hell. Do you have a chunk missing or did they fix it??


Fixed, mostly? Was heavily stitched, and most of the scarring actually healed up. But whrn I shave, there's still an obvious about 1/2 inch indentation right above my teeth.


people who dig straight down and fall into lava


Liz Truss as prime minister


That was a disaster, wasn't it? I couldn't believe it. I knew it wouldn't be long because of the policies she pushed, but damn if her downfall was faster than I had expected it to be.


If the economy was a bike, she was the pool cue through the front spokes.


I had a son today. I’d say thats a good example lol


Me eating Olive Garden pasta without out knowing where the bathroom is


Barrel riders over Niagara Falls


once saw a guy with his phone recording go up to a woman and ask her very invasive questions about her income, her relationships, sex life, etc. did not feel an inch of sympathy when after trying to leave, the woman decided enough was enough and fucking WHACKED him in the throat, making him drop his phone and if the world is just, I hope it broke. can't fucking stand influencers turning the public into their content


Little kid keeps antagonizing the animal that was minding it’s business. Parents warn kid to stop Animal defends itself kid cries Parents are upset but understanding to why their kids are crying and tells the kid “I told you that this would happen didn’t I?”


when i called the cops on someone after he yelled at me (he had cp and i found it)


I thought you meant cerebral palsy at first. Took me a sec.


Hello, Police? I'd like to report someone for cerebral palsy


Wizards of the Coast (Dungeons & Dragons) and their licensing fiasco. They didn't even really get to the "fuck around" part since the license leaked early, leading to the very swift and punishing "found out". At this point they're scrambling to save their entire business. They have apparently done a complete 180 and are talking about releasing under a very open and irrevocable license, but it may be too little too late. Tons of the D&D community is already starting to jump ship to alternatives.


The funny part is all of this was driven by completely shortsighted greed. They would have made money hand over fist if they played the slow game. Let D&D Beyond finish its VTT, end licensing deals with Fantasy Ground and Roll20, offer FG/Roll20 users credit for their books, charge a sub for the VTT. Within a year they’d control the online ecosystem and still gain goodwill from players who lost their purchases in the other VTTs.


The *really* funny part according to [LegalEagle](https://youtu.be/iZQJQYqhAgY) is that the original license wasn't really even necessary for a lot of stuff it allowed because you can't copyright a process, e.g. the rules on how to play a game. You can have copyright over the exact expression of the process, such as copyright over the instruction manual as a written work. But the actual rules themselves? You can't have copyright on those, so it's fair game to use all the rules of D&D for you own homebrew setting. The characters in D&D are a bit more grey. A specific character from an official story campaign likely has copyright protection, but other more generic characters could be argued as being more part of the rules and thus might not be protected Granted, that's from the legal perspective. The original license did not suddenly give you pernission to do things you could already legally do; it was more of a "we won't sue you for it anyway on the grounds that we have more money and can fight the case longer than you can"


ORC stronk, coastal wizard weak


They didn't realize the game that has players that regularly have find loopholes around what the DM does and lies to them about why they want to change licensing was probably the dumbest idea a company could make.


There was an old video with people handing a semi-automatic rifle to a chimp just for laughs…


Putin attacking Ukraine.


He really went in there with the mentality of, "in 3 days we'll be Kyiv" It's been almost a year, are they there yet?


Nah, they are currently prepping for round 2 of fuck around and find out, this time including Belarus and that fat bastard of a dictator


The guy who thought my three chihuahuas were nothing when he tried to break into my home several years ago. He left rather quickly with many bite marks.


Chihuahuas have the body of a kitten but they think they're pitbulls.