I just learned that if I ask my wife "do you need to yawn?" she will yawn 100% of the time (done this at least 20 times in the last hour). So what is the least amount of power that has ever gone to your head?
By - CarltheWellEndowed
When my wife talks, you can give her anything and she will take it unconsciously. No matter what it is: diaper, used hanky, half eaten food, trash … most of the time she won’t realize it until minutes later and then gets mad at you.
As of now I haven’t found anything she won’t take.
One of my favourite things to do when new people start in my work is to ask them to hold something for a minute and walk away until they figure out I’m winding them up
My coworker at my old restaurant job did that to someone with a nacho. A literal nacho, with toppings on it, no plate, no nothing. She legit stood there with it for like 5 minutes lol
Toaster, ice cream carton, water bomb, dildo, ball of dryer lint.
My childhood friend used to be so ticklish to the point that he'd pee himself laughing from air tickles . You didn't even need to touch him - just be visible and do the tickling gesture . Sadly , that power is gone now - that man has become a rock and doesn't feel tickles anymore
you broke him.
Is he more machine than man now after you left him for dead? Is that why he can't be tickled?
i am imagining his skin on his sides have developed thick lizard scale like callouses.
Look what you've done!
My new puppy is so fat and excitable if I say walk she gets so excited and will run around my room for about a minute and pass out immediate
Haha that so cute! But also sounds like a nightmare if a guest or roommate knows about it
Oh man, my FAVORITE thing to do on Discord. In our discord we usually have a headphone policy. We don't like to hear feedback. However the best way to make people swap from speakers to headphones is when they have a dog. Just yell "outside!". The dogs go crazzzy. Its usually only a week or so of this randomly that they buy headphones. 🤣
Wouldn't affect my dogs at all. I have to ask them in my most excitable voice like 6 times if they wanna go outside to get a little bit of movement from them and it dies down if you stop asking.
Mine goes crazy when I put socks on. Like damn yo my feet are just cold
If mine really need to pee then they might get up and follow me excitedly if I get up to do anything. But that's the most they'll ever do.
I have a pair of dingy sneakers that I wear to walk the dogs because they are beat the hell up. If I dare to put them on for yard work, my dogs lose their mind and sprint around the house and stare at me through the windows until I cave and take them for a walk. Even if we had just gone for one a few hours previous.
This works when they're 12 years old too
You know how people act like cats aren't as attune with people as dogs? I just look at my boy Sunny and [this was like an hour ago.](https://i.imgur.com/z173r1h.jpg)
Note the slight upward tilt of the head and the longing expression in the eyes. This is a statement of attention. I was mostly just continuing to meet eye contact with him and occasionally said his name, and he kept this attention for a couple minutes. We actually watch things together on screens.
It took direct and consistent attention and communication for several years now, but we're on another level. I can speak and make his tail wag to my voice.
Cats are bad at reading human body language but they understand cat body language. I find that you can communicate with cats if you learn to read their body language.
For example, a lot of cats close there eyes in a slow squint at you and that translates into "I trust you enough to close my eyes." It's like a cat smile. If you do it to a cat that likes you they will do it back.
I've had cats for as long as I can remember, and this is just something I picked up along the way. I'd smile at them and close my eyes, to get my cats to associate smiling with 'winking'. IDK how well it worked though.
However recently a friend of mine asked me why I always close my eyes when I smile. Apparently I now also 'wink' to humans...
So your cat trained you. Typical.
Making people yawn is fun. I’ve also noticed that sometimes dogs will yawn if you do it in front of them.
If I stare at my dog for 5-10 seconds, he will have a kind of anxiety induced yawn. Then he’ll start “talking” if I keep staring.
“Please don’t hurt me, man. I had no idea those were YOUR socks, I thought they just smelt like you.”
My dog gets really nervous when I stare at her long enough like she doesn't know what to do, so she aggressively starts licking her but
Fun fact! Dogs will yawn to show they're just playing or that they're not a threat.
I honestly couldn't count the number of nervous stray dogs I've gotten to approach me by crouching down, turning to the side, nonchalantly looking around and yawning. It puts them at ease because it essentially signals that you're relaxed and bored so they feel safer.
They sneeze sometimes too right?
Yup! Especially when they're a little nervous/anxious.
I can wiggle my fingers at my wife and say “tickle tickle tickle” and she will react like she’s being tickled.
TrollHusband_IRL was taken ?
Just reading the “tickle tickle tickle” made me do the weird giggle I always do before I get tickled and then my body felt the tickle 😖
Fun fact: doing this to strangers will make them uncomfortable.
That is absolutely adorable man ❤️
You have a very sweet wife
Wait I thought I was the only one that does this
My wife cannot sneeze if anyone tells her "Bless you" before she sneezes. I actively have to stop myself from messing up her sneezes...
or her brain going "oh... huh... I guess I already sneezed then; no need to set off another one"
We sneeze only to be blessed
My ex partner used to say “red balloons” EVERY TIME I needed to sneeze. It cancelled my sneeze upload and now I require insane amounts of concentration and for people to literally look away in order to sneeze.
I will never be the same.
That's fucked up lmao
Mine shouts “pink elephants” and gives me the nasal blue balls.
Everytime we made bratwurst I suggest sex. Now Everytime we make bratwurst my wife wants to have sex. It's the little things that keep a marriage going after 15 years.
Bratwurst in ze Sauerkraut...
Pavlov technique. Well done.
I mean, I Googled it and looks like a very aphrodisiac dish
I just yawned immediately after reading that. Haha crazy.
What's the word for genocide but with yawning instead of dying?
Genoyawn! The -cide suffix is the killing bit
This man needs to be stopped. It was okay when it happened to his wife. But to make me yawn three times without him even knowing or trying to do, is some devil level shit. GRAB YOUR PITCHFORKS MEN!!!!
Wait until he says "do you need to cum?"
HOW DARE YOU
I'm trying my fucking hardest not to yawn but it's there
ME TOO HAHA
Do you need to yawn?
I am sociopath I guess
Not me. Never me. I refuse to yawn on command and be a part of the games and I refuse to yawn for the camera. I won’t let them drag me back in again, my yawning days are behind me and I’m a lot happier because of it
I have no idea if this is actually true, but I read somewhere that people who don’t yawn when they see others yawn are people who lack empathy.
I wonder if this would work mid fight.
Successfully started argument.
Successfully caused yawn.
Made her more upset.
100% not worth.
You know maybe that wasn't your best idea.
No the worst part was me showing her this thread because now she knows I was just provoking her just to entertain people I'll never know.
RIP. Brave redditor
Better be nice, it's our couch you'll be sleeping on.
Wait til she finds out you caused an argument completely for internet points.
Only one way to find out.
I'm going to go tell her she is acting like her mom and report back.
Then tell her to calm down.
Oh, and ask her if she's on her period too
See you in a couple hours, or never
Probably on a missing person's poster
You don't report people you buried in the backyard as missing. That's a rookie mistake.
Looking forward to listening about you on a true crime podcast.
You good? It's been 4 hours.
Apparently this sub doesn’t allow links, but there was a confession post about a guy who would put on a specific cologne every time him and his gf were about to have sex. After a few months he would just walk by with it on and she would immediately initiate
Fucking Pavlov's Dog'd her
My gf got me a cologne she really likes and I wear it before we have sex sometimes. Maybe I should test this out
Being in the front of a line of cars, rolling a little forward then watching the cars behind you slowly pull up one by one.
For additional amusement, reverse half a metre or so.
Yeah, I did that one. My friend would just sit there confused while I laughed. He'd always say what do you expect them to do?
Something similar I've noticed - when homeless people are at a stoplight going from car to car asking for change, people will tend to pull their car forward just slightly after they interact with them, whether they give change or wave them off. It's like a mental break they use to verify that the interaction is over but they can't really go anywhere so they just nudge forward a bit.
You've Pavlov'd your wife!
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
He conditioned it.
I put a child lock on my trashcan to keep my dog from eating trash and I am drunk with power
We had to do this with our kid and discovered it works well with the cats. Kid has outgrown the lock, but we still have it on there...
You know when you're in the shower and you let it run over your arm and you kinda think you got hydrokinesis. Yh that.
This is a man's greatest superpower.
Discovered this as a child, and now as a man child I still practice the way of water bending
I'm old enough water bending didn't exist when I was a kid, so we all just treated it like we were spiderman throwing webs.
Always thought I was alone in this
I think you mean waterbender
It’s only a small step from water bending to blood bending.
I have the ability to know which Tupperware will fit the leftovers within 5% of its maximum volume. It infuriates my partner because they can’t understand how I could be that accurate every single time.
Have worked in many a kitchen. I have this power as well. To the brim, every time. Nice to meet you
In my kitchen we just call it “will it fit.” I guess it helps when the containers are all predefined sizes. “This Cambro is 4 quarts” is easier to to learn than “this Tupperware is 1.6 sandwiches.”
I thought it was just me who had that ability!!
Offering people chewing gum without chewing some yourself will make them feel self-conscious about their breath, and puts them on the back foot, mentally.
It's surprisingly effective, and it feels like having a certain level of power over someone, but it's also not very nice.
after doing this with a coworker for six weeks, switch to a stronger type.
Eventually book an appointment for them at the dentist and pay for it just to really mess with their minds.
Next, arrange an The Office-style meeting about the importance of flossing and dental hygiene, without of course telling who it is about *wink wink*
Or do the Pavlovian trick from the Office with the windows reboot noise
Do it with nicotine gum and get them addicted to you
Nicotine gum tastes terrible. It litteraly burns, not in the to much methol way, but in the chewing a cigarette way.
Source: former smoker.
Maybe try amphetamine gum then
Reminds me of being in college, mixing some Adderall XR with some chewing gum so that I could crush all the beads, turning it into instant release.
To this day, one of the bitterest and nastiest things I've tried. And that includes being with my ex
My friend in high school would always try to get me to yawn by saying “yawn” or making me read it. He would write YAWN on a blank piece of paper and show it to me across the room in the middle of class. It never worked
Maybe he was just communicating that class is boring? Not trying to make you yawn
Everytime I touch my girlfriends nose, she has to audibly say "My Nose". No idea why, but she physically cannot control it unless she holds her breath or is extremely distracted.
Its been a fun 2.5 years.
What the hell? How did you discover this superpower?
I booped her nose early on, she said it. I did it again and she said it again. At that point it just spiraled out of control.
Have you done it while she's sleeping?
Yep, no dice unfortunately. Now THAT would be insanely funny.
Maybe wake her up *just enough* and see if that works.
How to make your gf into your ex-gf with one simple trick
Propose to her!
Do that and she'll be your fiancee instead!
She has lingering trauma of when her grandfather claimed to have stolen her nose.
Don't try to steal it from her, she might explode.
like a decade ago, I had a couple magnets surgically implanted in my fingers
certain types of laptops go to sleep when a magnet in their screen comes close to a magnet in their chassis
something I would do to new coworkers is walk up to their laptop and say "hey, did you know you can shut off your macbook if you stroke it like this?", and then stroke the side of their laptop with my finger, causing it to shut off
so anyway, yeah, that.
why and how would you surgically implant magnets? were there any long term effects?
>why and how
"how" is a much simpler to answer - I had a guy cut open two of my finger tips* and insert magnets** into them - his name's steve haworth, I think he had a show on the discovery channel at some point
as far as "why" goes, I was in college for physics at the time, and thought being able to "feel" magnetic fields would be pretty cool. which, to be frank, it kinda is. there's way more magnetic fields in your daily life than you might be aware of, and they all "feel" a bit different. it really is like an extra sense that rarely comes in handy, but does give context for a lot of things if you're interested in that.
also, I worked as an electrician for a short time after college, and being able to tell a hot wire from a dead one without tools (via the magnetic fields they induced) was a pretty neat trick, though I wouldn't trust my life to it.
\* non-ajacent (index and ring finger), because if they get stuck together while I'm sleeping they may kill the skin between them
** neodymium magnets, about the size of a grain of rice. encased once in gold, and then again in silicone to keep them from interacting with my blood
That sounds fun. I wonder who i have to make friends with to do something like this. Unrelated but I heard about some eye surgeries that remove part of or the entire lens that result in the person being able to see ultraviolet lights unaided.
>I wonder who i have to make friends with to do something like this.
good news - I didn't have to make friends with anyone to be able to do it, I was able to just book an appointment and get them implanted
>That sounds fun.
bad news - since it wasn't a "legitimate" medical procedure, he wasn't able to provide anesthetic aside from a glass of ice water, and since there's a ton of nerve endings in your fingers, it hurts like hell.
> Unrelated but I heard about some eye surgeries that remove part of or the entire lens that result in the person being able to see ultraviolet lights unaided
that sounds incredibly interesting, and if there were a relatively risk-free way to do it, I would jump on board for that procedure. having more senses improves life in my opinion
I wouldn't recommend getting eye surgery to see UV. I believe I heard something about it being an accidental side effect of someone who had their lenses removed from their eyes due to cataracts. They noticed when they could see the light produced by supermarket barcode readers at the tills flashing brightly whenever it scanned anything. But UV can ruin your vision over time, which is why our eyes are supposed to filter it.
> were there any long term effects?
forgot to answer this: one of them got crushed between a couple tables when I was working another job, which broke the silicone casing and caused it to start interacting badly with my blood
after some time of seeing how it would play out (my finger became very sensitive and swollen), I ended up cutting it out myself since I didn't have health insurance at the time
the one in my ring finger is still there, and I'm considering putting the one in my index finger back to restore the lost sense
You say lost sense, is having only one worse than having two? What if you had one in each finger? Would it be even better?
I've heard about bodymods like these, and kind of always wondered what it would feel like. If sensing magnetic fields was in any way shape or form useful to my life, I'd probably seriously consider getting something similar done haha.
>You say lost sense, is having only one worse than having two? What if you had one in each finger? Would it be even better?
having two fingers allows for feeling more of a field at once, which gives a more complete picture of what it "looks" like faster. there's probably diminishing returns after 1, honestly, since you can only process so much information at once. although I would be interested to hear from someone who did get 4 or 5 in a hand, if such a person exists
the main thing though, is that it being in my index finger is advantageous since it's more sensitive and interacts with more stuff in general than my ring finger.
Why do you have magnets in your fingers?
100% didn't work, I have no power, now my wife thinks I'm fucking weird.
We had Omegle or chatroullete on during a party, with "SCREEN SHOT" on a big whiteboard in the centre of view. We cheered with tons of random people, and we yelled "Screen Shot!" at every dick we saw before taking shots. Some just disconnected quickly, but a surprising amount of them had their face in view, and looked panicked before disconnecting.
We didn't actually take any screenshots, but they don't know that.
Im a girl and one time me and the boys went on Omegle and every time a some dude jerked it, I’d be by myself in the frame and entice them and right at the point of no return 5 dudes would jump in behind me and applaud them. I’m general, men who unprovoked show their penis infront of strangers aren’t very keen on ejaculating at the sight of other men. Very fun. 10/10
Taking shot every time you see a dick on chatroullete sounds like a good way to kill your liver in record time
The liver must be punished.
I thought that said mushroom shrine and was confused and trying to picture a group of guys making an altar with mushrooms on it
I mean you're not too far off
Try this one: Any time you see someone getting ready to sneeze, point to them and call out loudly (and quickly), "NO! DON'T DO IT! NO SNEEZING ALLOWED!!!"
99.9% of the time their sneeze vanishes. And they hate you for it. X-D
You're evil, and I hope you know that.
Aw, you're just sayin' that 'cause it's true.
This reminds me of when my brother had to yawn but refused to cover his mouth.
Every time he opened his mouth I pantomimed repeatedly shoving a dick in his gaping face hole.
He got really mad after the third time so I switched to making a Chewbacca noise in the middle of his yawn.
Once we were sitting in a group and one of my friends yawned. Two of my other friends put their fingers in his mouth and stretched it.
I can't describe how funny and gross the moment was.
That's hilarious, I wish I was there to see it.
Wanna read a fun story about a chili dog?
Two of my friends sat across from me at the table and decided to share a chili dog like Lady and the Tramp because they thought it would be funny.
It was pretty funny watching that, but it was extra funny when I reached across the table and pushed their faces together so they both deep throated the chili dog.
They were good sports and laughed about it right after they got the chili beans out of their nostrils.
Pretty sure you just interrupted their game of Gay Chicken. They could be married by now.
My brother has done this to me before. I had that look on my face and did the thing where you look up at the sun to trigger it, and he just looked at me and said “don’t do it.” And it went away. I was so mad. 😂
As a kid, I once did this to my dad (not yelling at him, but just continuing my convo as he was recoiling to sneeze). He got so angry and yelled at me that now I pause convo, sit quietly, not make eye contact until he makes his nuclear sneeze.
My wife always yells “broccoli!” when Im about to sneeze! I swear it works everytime to stop my sneeze
I just got reminded that my wife does the same thing. And that her dog will yawn when she does.
It got me in a laughing fit so hard that I started coughing.
I just read this and my wife yawned
My boyfriend once screamed “no sneezing” at me while I was mid sneeze and then I couldn’t sneeze for two days. I had a really bad cold and the need to sneeze was near constant, it was the most frustrating two days of my life.
Tried it on my girlfriend, she yawned five times in a row. I don't think I'm getting bedtime cuddles.
When I was a kid we always went out to eat after church. The grown ups would always sit around and talk forever after they paid the check and I was always antsy to leave because video games were waiting for me at home. One day I figured out that if I asked my uncle Elmer if he was ready to go he would always say yes, and we would both get up and walk outside and then everyone else would just get up and follow. So that's how I got all of the adults to leave a restaurant in a timely manner every Sunday for years.
Sounds less like a power move and more like your uncle Elmer felt the same about sitting and talking at a restaurant and he was using you as an excuse to get everyone to leave
Did you ever figure out why he wanted to leave too?
Uncle Elmer had a jazz cigarette at home.
I'm sure the wait staff would thank you if they knew of your efforts.
If you tell someone to start breathing manually, their brain forces them to until they forget. When they forget, you can just say it again.
Start breathing manually.
Fucking 45 minutes later. Holy shit, good job.
Yeah, I can feel my clothes too. It helps me remember to blink.
You can't forget you can see your nose either.
And this sentence just made you aware of how your tongue feels.
Also make them aware of the weight of their jaw and how their brain filters out their nose from their field of vision
When my girlfriends been bugging for a while, I’ll ask “are you still ticklish?” And whenever I lift my hand, walk behind her or even just so stare at her for a few seconds she’s already moving away or keeping her guard up.
My spouse does that with butt slaps...the amount I wind up laughing at myself for jerking instinctively away from a nonexistent butt spank from psyching myself out is unseemly.
"are you still butt slaps?"
My super power is being that person who witnesses people doing embarrassing things they hope nobody noticed.
Think my favorite one is a gal trying to pull out a towel from a tissue like box, she yanked hard and had it swing around and smack her face. There’s me who randomly looks up to see the grab and make direct eye contact as she glances around to see if anyone saw.
The fact that you made everyone on this thread yawn and I didn’t is getting to me.
My gf hates some words because it makes her cringe. Words like "knee" , "period" and so on. So I made a "cringe list" in case she was bugging me or something, usually I just said one of those words to troll her. But one time it went over my head because she call me out on my fried chicken since "wasn't has good has her, and it was soggy" (it wasn't, it was crispy). And that ended up with me making a 3 minute song with all the cringe words.
ohh, that's evil :)
to make my wife cringe, I need to say things ever so slightly (or not, hehe) *wrong*. She worked as a lector and that's probably a professionell risk.
"You know so much about X! For me that's always been my achilles elbow."
"That's the poodle's corn!"
So, is being Evil a natural talent for you, or have you studied?
By any chance , is your girl the Winter Soldier ?
If in a crowded space; a lift, commuter train or maybe on the bus.
Hum the the Mario theme at a level audible to the people near you, though not obnoxiously loud, making sure to not hum or sing the final resolution Low note.
You will hear people hum it themselves or most likely bob their head as they sing it to themselves in their head.
I can tell if the romantic relationships of my peers are going to end in break up or marriage. They hate me for it
That's a good one. How can you tell?
I can make my husband lapse into a coma when he’s angry 100% of the time. He’ll be grouching about something, and I’ll just casually walk behind him and start giving him a really good back scratch. Then I have him sit on the couch, and then I’ll massage his neck and shoulders. Then I gently massage his scalp thoroughly. It has never failed. He’ll fall asleep, and when he wakes up, he can’t remember why he was mad.
Sometimes when I walk behind him, he’ll say “No! Don’t scratch my back. I’m really angry about this. Do not touch my back.” As soon as I start scratching he’ll say “goddamn it.” But I figure if he really didn’t want me to do it, he’d stand with his back against the wall when he’s mad.
My boyfriend isn't mad when I do it but also falls asleep almost instantly if I just pet his head or something. This clown will say "ah I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight", I merely exist, boom he's out cold in under a minute. It's hilarious but sometimes if he falls asleep too quickly I struggle to sleep so I sadly don't do it that often.
Easiest way to tell who's focusing on you is to yawn.
Yawns are contagious, and more often than not, if someone is focusing on you whilst you yawn, they'll yawn too!
Me at the bar: *yawns*
Girls at the bar:
Me: "hello darkness my old friend..."
I’m here to yawn at chicks again
I read this and asked my bf if he needed to yawn, he laughed and said no, asked me why I asked and after I showed him this post he asked me if I needed to fart. Rofl. I love that guy so much
Update: He just yawned and 2 seconds after that I farted. What have I done?
The pets all love me most. My child frequently tries to get out of doing most important things by lying about doing something with or something done by the pets. I just call them to me knowing whats about to happen and walk into their room holding said pet they just lied about.
“Oh, t-this dog? This one right here?”
I can make my sister laugh (a lot) by just smiling/smirking at her in a certain way. Have tortured her many times over the years with this.
YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME!
When I watch something with someone, live, and say things like "Now they're gonna do this" or "Now that's going to happen" and it happens.
Please watch today's F1 race and call sergio perez for the win.
OCD. Oh yeah I have it too. Hate a few certain ocd induced stuff she learn like,"have your Key" or "your sure all the doors are locked," as we step out.
No joke, I just yawned from reading this