T O P

White to play and mate in 1

Ne9#

TNTbuster1

Ne9#


DJDoofeshmirtz3

But then the knight gets sent to the backrooms and can no longer play


TNTbuster1

A small price to pay for salvation


0FCkki

r/unexpectedthanos


PranshuKhandal

Looking at your vote count: Balanced, as all things should be.


0FCkki

r/unexpectedthanos give me the negative karma


Crocalones

nah


0FCkki

So if you beg to not get downvoted, you get downvoted, but if you beg to be downvoted, you don't get downvoted. Written down.


Crocalones

wise reddit knowledge


thirsty_as_fuck

r/expectedthanos for balance


[deleted]

I am in tears my girlfriend doesn’t understand how hilarious this sub is. Oh my god. I’m crying. This one made me full body laugh


Ocelotofdamage

I laughed, I cried, I lost 5 pounds, I took a brick to the pipi


PetrosianBot

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)


Lord_Skyblocker

You are on a chess subreddit. You don't have a girlfriend


JosephGoddard

His girlfriend is a...queen.. and he is her... knight I need help bye


BigBOBS_LOL

and hence he is being cucked by a king.


papabear_kr

Precisely the story between Mario, Peach and Bowser.


spookyskeletony

What’s a knight? Are you talking about the horsey?


potpan0

Bro my Scandinavian super model girlfriend is giving me such a weird look because I'm laughing at this post rather than having le sexytime with her!


ChessIsCool

They only Scandinavian d she is getting is d5


idkanamesouhmyes

pfft wdym? I just have to mention I like chess and am a redditor and all the girls start chasing me you're just doing it wrong


Lord_Skyblocker

Can I get Tipps?


buenas_nalgas

hello it's me your girlfriend could you explain to me as someone who doesn't play normal chess what's going on here


cvb14763

so the normal dimensions for a board are 8 by 8. the 8 columns are a-h and the rows are 1-8. TNTbuster1 said Ne9# which means kNight to e9 checkmate. obviously this is impossible, and thus really fucking funny because i was actually trying to solve it like a dumbass


mememaker6

Have you tried telling her to google en passant


whatURmade

You don't have a girlfriend if you're in this sub


[deleted]

I wish I didn’t have a girlfriend so I could be on this sub more.


whatURmade

You can fix that with one message xD


SUPERazkari

holy hell this is one of the most subreddits of all times


ZuberiGoldenFeather

But ... Kh9?


TNTbuster1

Only knights can jump across time and space


bionicjoey

Knights have noclip enabled. That's how they get around other pieces.


dabadasi

Nah that's illegal


HasNoUsername_

No. Only the knight can jump.


SpacialCommieCi

the V O I D would capture him making it illegal, whereas the horse jumps over the V O I D


Assono_

Unlike the horsey the king cannot jump across the border wall


thomasahle

After Bxf7+ I think it's only a matter of time before the bishops chase down the king off the board.


Spook404

I thought it was Nb8=KN#


zidane2k1

Can’t the king still escape then with Kf9 or Kh9? Or would black lose in that case anyway due to the king being out of bounds?


TNTbuster1

Only knights can jump across time and space


Nerpones

I thought you needed a Paladin (a merged knight and Bishop), a Trojan horse (knight + tower) or an Amazon Queen for that.


NotAHeroinDealer

Quite literally thinking outside the box


Then-Ad1531

That's not mate. The king just moves to g9


imjustowenn

theoretically, yes. however, the king usually cannot cheat to get out of checkmate without using sleight of hand. so just be attentive to the game.


buenas_nalgas

where is 9 and what is # I really wanna understand but I don't know literally anything about competitive chess to even know what rules you're messing with


TNTbuster1

9 isn’t on the board (which is the joke) and # means it’s checkmate


tanzmeister

/uj this is absolutely not the place to learn /rj Google en passant


RJ250000

Hey! I'm RJ


altimacomes

Hey! It's your cake day as well! Happy cake day!


_Mikak

Kh9? or Kf9?


chahud

En passant is forced


DifferenceHungry4199

Pipi


PetrosianBot

You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)


[deleted]

holy fucking shit. if i see ONE more en passant meme i'm going to chop my fucking balls off. holy shit it is actually impressive how incredibly unfunny the entire sub is. it's not that complicated, REPEATING THE SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN DOES NOT MAKE IT FUNNIER. this stupid fucking meme has been milked to fucking death IT'S NOT FUNNIER THE 973RD TIME YOU MAKE THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE. WHAT'S EVEN THE JOKE?????? IT'S JUST "haha it's the funne move from chess" STOP. and the WORST part is that en passant was actually funny for like a few years and it got fucking ruined in like a week because EVERYONE POSTED THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. SEEING ALL YOUR SHITTY MEMES IS ACTUAL FUCKING MENTAL TORTURE YOU ALL ARE NOT FUNNY. COME UP WITH A DIFFERENT FUCKING JOKE PLEASE


[deleted]

[удалено]


0FCkki

its not new


JakeyMcG

New response dropped


OmeletteDysphorique

knight is actually a camel; black is already mated


throwawaytothetenth

Shrivamsha


Jias

Can dodge ranged attacks.


SCCH28

I got that reference


benedict250

Fellow AOE2 player


Santibag

*Did you mean **"shawarma"?***


Physicist_Dinosaur

...geddon?


Santibag

I don't know. I just saw the words similar and wanted to make a joke. But I guess I got the bullet of the karma roulette 😅


Physicist_Dinosaur

Jajaja I don't even know what those thing's we commented are 😂


Santibag

I know shawarma, though. It's the kebab that is also known as "döner". "Shawarma" also sounds like "çevirme" in Turkish, which means "to give a turn", while "döner" means "rotator". If your don't know about it, highly recommend checking it out. Although many places use bad meat because of the mixture hiding the bad quality, it can taste very good.


steelcurtain87

I feel like you miss a few days on here and totally start missing out. What’s the joke here. Plz.


hacksoos

ok Ne8 promotes to Nook, therefore checkmate Ne8=Ñ#


VanSlam8

Did you mean Ne8?


hacksoos

yes, I have high fever, en isnt my 1st lang and i forgot the sign for the horsey


alaskafish

Holy excuses


cynicaldotes

cat died dog died mom died 9/11 2 happened my glasses broke my shoes were untied etc


ezio93

that's pretty neat, Nate.


damdalf_cz

Oh i thought we take horsey out of bounds to check the king


Timemaster_2000

Since when can you promote to knooks? I thought you had to buy them at the start of the round like in CS:GO?


Cabuka

Clearly you missed the 1.2.1 update


OngoingFee

Do you see a white rook


ItsVincent27

You can just make up your own joke and the entire sub will eat it up


HotSauce2910

On that note can someone explain il vaticano to me


pryte3

https://www.reddit.com/r/AnarchyChess/comments/ztkvdu/this_instructional_video_on_how_to_perform_il/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf It works the same even if there were two pawns between the bishops. Or any two pieces for that matter


Rotsike6

>It works the same even if there were two pawns between the bishops. Or any two pieces for that matter Isn't that debated? I think professional chess players usually try to avoid this move since it might start a holy war on what the precise move rules are. The last thing we need is another crusade.


[deleted]

I see what you did there.


steelcurtain87

I equally hate you all and love you all the same.


divbyzero64

You can swap a light and dark squared bishop with il Vaticano


potatoman5849

You know if you just check with knight then shit on the board then your opponent can't touch the peices to take it meaning you win


dabadasi

Shitting on the board first and only then checking with knight is more forcing


Coldactill

But then you touch your own shit bro.


bananalord666

No it's mine, and I will touch if I want to and you can't stop me


sintonesque

Holy smell!


WinterFlamed

Nf8=Ñ#


TelosAero

As a noob in this writing Form.... What does ~ above the n and the # mean


MrPresident235

Google knook


Abyss_of_Dreams

Holy knell


Kitchengun2

Snell’s law doesn’t actually apply here as there is no refractive suffice for the prices to go through


Kylokael

Holy hell


SpectralBacon

Holy hell


RedditNoly

Horsey —> F8 = Promote to Knook = Mate


satire83

I'm with this guy


SirCakeTheSecond

Ñ means knook, N means horsey


Abyss_of_Dreams

> N means horsey But there are no N's in horsey. It should be R.


Chaotic-warp

It was originally Norsey, but Garry thought horses are cooler than vikings so he changed it into Horsey


AstronomicalDice

It's an eñe


LilQuasar

that means its an eñe (spanish letter, i dont know what other languages use it). used for ñook # means checkmate


JePPeLit

My favourite part about real chess is that after going to bed you wake up having no idea what the rules are nowadays


CoolGuyBabz

Nah, won't work. Only pawns can be promoted into a knook


WinterFlamed

Garry Chess tweaked that several updates ago. You must still be playing on last gen.


MrPresident235

No il Vaticano literally unsolvable


exceedinglygayRPanda

Google en passant


aderthedasher

Holy hell


MrPresident235

holy fucking hell. if i see ONE more en passant meme i'm going to chop my fucking balls off. holy shit it is actually impressive how incredibly unfunny the entire sub is. it's not that complicated, REPEATING THE SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN DOES NOT MAKE IT FUNNIER. this stupid fucking meme has been milked to fucking death IT'S NOT FUNNIER THE 973RD TIME YOU MAKE THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE. WHAT'S EVEN THE JOKE?????? IT'S JUST "haha it's the funne move from chess" STOP. and the WORST part is that en passant was actually funny for like a few years and it got fucking ruined in like a week because EVERYONE POSTED THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. SEEING ALL YOUR SHITTY MEMES IS ACTUAL FUCKING MENTAL TORTURE YOU ALL ARE NOT FUNNY. COME UP WITH A DIFFERENT FUCKING JOKE PLEASE


flightguy07

Holy hell!


Iraes3323

En passant


psuedopseudo

🧱


youbehappyss

New copypasta just dropped


Major_Wobbly

It's several weeks old at this point


ILookAfterThePigs

The bishops can do a reverse Il Vaticano which mates the white king


divbyzero64

You can swap a light and dark squared bishop with il Vaticano


RandomIdiot436824

The bishops have +s on them instead of the slanted notches. Therefore they move vertically. Therefore B^(+)c8#


RandomIdiot436824

alternatively, king is transgender, and we assume the bishops move like regular bishops. Then Bxf7#


JustToxicGfThings

Can be defended by Be8


RandomIdiot436824

Unfortunately, because of repulsion, 2B^(+)s cannot be on the same file/rank, unless a neutral piece holds them together.


RandomIdiot436824

Also, did you mean B^(+)f8?


PowersIave

I'm not able to follow this anymore. Is this what modern technology feels like to old people?


GoatHorn37

holy fucking shit. if i see ONE more il vaticano meme i'm going to chop my fucking balls off. holy shit it is actually impressive how incredibly unfunny the entire sub is. it's not that complicated, REPEATING THE SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN DOES NOT MAKE IT FUNNIER. this stupid fucking meme has been milked to fucking death IT'S NOT FUNNIER THE 973RD TIME YOU MAKE THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE. WHAT'S EVEN THE JOKE?????? IT'S JUST "haha it's the funne move from chess" STOP. and the WORST part is that il vaticano was actually funny for like a few days and it got fucking ruined in like a day because EVERYONE POSTED THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. SEEING ALL YOUR SHITTY MEMES IS ACTUAL FUCKING MENTAL TORTURE YOU ALL ARE NOT FUNNY. COME UP WITH A DIFFERENT FUCKING JOKE PLEASE


ThePhantom1994

Yes. Keep up Grandpa and Google il Vaticano


archerhaenk

Bro il vaticano literally isn't mate tho, it's clearly Ne8=Ñ#


divbyzero64

You can swap a light and dark squared bishop with il Vaticano


1dentif1

Reveal the bishop on b4 is actually a rook, then google back rank mate


Waffle-Gaming

. . . . . . . holy hell


[deleted]

Bf8=R#


CrownedTraitor

*I KNEW IT KNGIHT TO E9 OFF BOUNDS*


relevant_post_bot

Relevant r/chess post: [White to play, mate in 5](https://www.reddit.com/r/chess/comments/ztxmdw/white_to_play_mate_in_5/) Certainty: 71.43% [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/relevant-post-bot)


Volan_100

Nailed it


DizzyDrunkenDuck

He's always trying so hard...


VanJellii

I’ll bet the board is actually flipped. Bxc2#.


Benjamingur9

An alternative solution to Ne9 is Nxf6 which en passant's black's bishop. It is therefore double check, meaning white wins and pasta is for dinner.


Homosexualtigr

One of these days I’m just gonna post a mate in one puzzle that is straight up impossible to complete and you fuckers will upvote it. Mark my words.


sw3aterCS

Bf7, king can’t move to c2/f7


mathologies

I was thinking Bf7 because kings can't move diagonally. Or that it's already checkmate because black king has no legal moves.


teabowww

Il diagonalo. The white and the black bishop exchange positions, putting both kings in chess simultaneously. If either of them moves, they fucking die.


liddicoat1

I've been conditioned to look for il vaticano


divbyzero64

You can swap a light and dark squared bishop with il Vaticano


KgxxEQy

Bishop to f8 promote to 馬 easy.


divbyzero64

Google il Vaticano


Skryak

Your stupid ass shit move doesn’t even work here dumb fuck, how about you google how to get some bitches instead?


NotACaticus

New response has dropped


PrincessEev

Google en passant


Bruhhg

New response dropped


CrownedTraitor

LETS GOOOOOOOOoooooo


xTHEWORSTx

santo inferno


Alleged_egg

Holy Hell


gorbatsovi

Il Vaticano deez nuts


Pure_Blank

google il vaticano, cuz this ain't it


divbyzero64

You can swap a light and dark squared bishop with il Vaticano


Pure_Blank

you can't en passant your own pawn, just as you can't il vaticano your opponents bishop


Arceuscube

Nxf6#


cknori

Nf6# smothered mate, black cannot take back because g5 is forced for en passant


ChaosOk

White starts stripping and mate Black, done.


chessvision-ai-bot

I analyzed the image and this is what I see. Open an appropriate link below and explore the position yourself or with the engine: > **White to play**: [chess.com](https://chess.com/analysis?fen=6kr/3N1bpp/p4p2/7P/1BB3P1/1KP5/P1P5/q7+w+-+-+0+1&flip=false&ref_id=23962172) | [lichess.org](https://lichess.org/analysis/6kr/3N1bpp/p4p2/7P/1BB3P1/1KP5/P1P5/q7_w_-_-_0_1) **My solution:** > Hints: piece: >!Knight!<, move: >!Nb6!< > Evaluation: >!Black is winning -9.86!< > Best continuation: >!1. Nb6 Qb1+ 2. Ka4 Bxc4 3. Nxc4 Qxc2+ 4. Ka3 Qc1+ 5. Kb3 Qd1+ 6. Kb2 Qxg4 7. Nd2 Qxh5 8. c4 Qe5+!< --- ^(I'm a bot written by ) [^(u/pkacprzak )](https://www.reddit.com/u/pkacprzak) ^(| get me as ) [^(Chess eBook Reader )](https://ebook.chessvision.ai?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=bot) ^(|) [^(Chrome Extension )](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/chessvisionai-for-chrome/johejpedmdkeiffkdaodgoipdjodhlld) ^(|) [^(iOS App )](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/id1574933453) ^(|) [^(Android App )](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=ai.chessvision.scanner) ^(to scan and analyze positions | Website: ) [^(Chessvision.ai)](https://chessvision.ai)


smartsometimes

Good bot (for trying)


momoily1111

Bad bot


Thaplayer1209

The bot is trying its best, do not insult it.


0FCkki

Bad bot


B0tRank

Thank you, momoily1111, for voting on chessvision-ai-bot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


devvorare

Flip the board, then take that black bishop with yours. Your bishop is now on c2 checking the king, so it’s checkmate


3xper1ence

Ñb8#


poopoop-poopoop

Bishop to f7


Sprakket

5555555555555555555555555555555555555555555 vbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb


idret

Kd8 = rook#


imwearingyourpants

C4 -> c7


cieroxelek

Google en passant


Masl321

Nb8 then promote to knook


EthanQuak

Knight to e9


pimpus_

Kb2 and white king can mate with black queen almost missed that one


YT_Sharkyevno

Pay off black bishop to become a double agent.


OpeningMysterious197

Knight f6


vasilo

Kb2 = mate in one


Aegis12314

Bf8=R#


easybirb

horsey to f8 makes it smothered mate


gkw97i

I'd mate you in one


Laurentiul_dboi

King switches genders and bishop f7


Sriol

Rotate board by 180 keeping the pieces where they are, then Bc2#


recfrost

Ne8# The Hollow Knight


Syllabub_Middle

firefox en-chessant


MegaBaumTV

Knight f8. Black kings horsephobia does the rest.


Im_pHilo

You can actually en passant with the bishop here so its Bxf8#


Santibag

"White to play", but only after black plays. ...-g5 g6x# Edit: not "f", it was "g". I'm not even a chess player, let alone being blindfolded player. I couldn't see the board while writing the comment.


larryhastobury

Nf8# revealing his true identity as a knook.


Reyumi_

nf6#


vaandee

Nd8#, Knight is hidden Knook


Dry_Carpet8728

PJ9


[deleted]

Nf8=R#


redingerforcongress

Knight to F8 upgrades to a Knook because it achieves rank 8. This allows for checkmate in one.


TriGN614

Ne9!!!!


BootyliciousURD

Knight to f8, then it'll be in perfect position to mate with the king


JustFrankJustDank

pieces sent to the backrooms are sucked into the void at the start of your next turn, so therefore kings cannot go there as it would lead to them dying which cant happen, therefore the knight is able to go there and mate with the king ### 🥵 ### 🥵 ### 🥵 ### 🥵


ah_vignette

Already mate. That’s a camel on D7, it just looks like a horse