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INFO, ,This is not about Y T A or N T A here, this is more important than this. You tell us your parents are in a cult and how they "scarred me and my sister for life and her not wanting the best for her children". Your family life is a big red flag for me. You are still living in their house and not ready to move yet, so play the good girl and go to that wedding. Not for your parents' sake, but for yours. If you don't go, they might try to kick you out or force you into some kind of action at their cult, something you don't want. When you move out, you can start to limit their contact with you or cut them out of your life, your choice. But until then, be patient.


This is also very true. I have gone through so much shit I might as well push myself more until I hopefully move out before the end of this year.


I would try to figure out some coping strategies for while I you're there. (Like are there any friends or family you can chat with who are nice of just not cult-y?) Also can you get away with taking some breaks for fresh air or to go to the bathroom or whatever? Also maybe try to figure out some get out of this conversation escape cards if someone corners you to talk about religion or whatever.


I will stick to my sister if I go because I am sure that it will be hard on her too. Also, yes I will definitely do that. Someone else mentioned treating myself the day after to come down mentally. That is an amazing idea. Thank you.


I don't know how this cult is set up or if is in remote location or not, but if you go anywhere close to it, have an exit plan always.


You can make it a bit of game - treat yourself to X if they mention demon cats more than 5 times, or Y if they try to exorcize the wedding cake. Stay strong (and don't sign anything).




u/OwnTransportatio is a Bad Bot. [Stolen](https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uoo6l3/wibta_if_i_do_not_attend_my_moms_cult_wedding/i8fn24e/) from u/makka_pakka16 ^^Bot ^^hunting ^^tip: ^^Bots ^^don’t ^^have ^^flair ^^in ^^AITA.




But they are already abusive. Going could protect her until it’s safe to get away


Doing what's right? This isn't a morality situation. This is about doing what's best for their life. What you're talking about isn't doing what's right, it's doing what's prideful.


Wow. New record for the age of a thief bot. u/Glitteringctn is a Bad Bot. [Stolen](https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uoo6l3/wibta_if_i_do_not_attend_my_moms_cult_wedding/i8fm6o9/) from u/Krakengreyjoy ^^Bot ^^hunting ^^tip: ^^Bots ^^don’t ^^have ^^flair ^^in ^^AITA.




A bot copied your comment and pasted it somewhere else for karma. It happened to be the oldest bot I had ever seen (trivia). It has been dealt with.


Get your documents together, copied, and keep both documents and copies stored safely out of your parents house. If you have to go to the cult, try to be like an anthropologist with a ring-side seat to the field subjects. You could even bring a notebook. Hope you can remove yourself soon


Note that since this is a top-level comment and you haven't broken up the letters in "YTA", that's how it will be counted by the bot. You might want to edit to break up both YTA and NTA, or add an "INFO" first, or something. I agree with you; this transcends NTA/YTA judgments and is really about "how can OP protect themselves in a potentially unsafe situation?"




The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uoo6l3/wibta_if_i_do_not_attend_my_moms_cult_wedding/i8fmmv5/) elsewhere in this comment section. It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user: Plagiarized | Original -------- | ----------- [NTA. lots of states actua...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/up2fh0/aita_for_selling_stuff_that_belongs_to_my_ex/i8jrrkm/) | [NTA. lots of states actua...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/up2fh0/aita_for_selling_stuff_that_belongs_to_my_ex/i8i8q2h/) [NTA your sister is the po...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/up5fro/aita_for_sarcastically_asking_my_sister_if_she/i8jrpm6/) | [NTA your sister is the po...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/up5fro/aita_for_sarcastically_asking_my_sister_if_she/i8iuu8j/) [NTA while you miscalculat...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/up3jsk/aita_for_giving_my_brother_a_taste_of_his_own/i8jrow1/) | [NTA while you miscalculat...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/up3jsk/aita_for_giving_my_brother_a_taste_of_his_own/i8ifigw/) [YTA because you don’t eve...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/up4o7q/wibta_if_i_reported_my_exfriend_to_gofundme_for/i8jrn9a/) | [YTA because you don’t eve...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/up4o7q/wibta_if_i_reported_my_exfriend_to_gofundme_for/i8in1ai/) [YTA. Based on the title,...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/up9o3c/aita_for_kicking_my_brother_out_after_he_insulted/i8jrqf6/) | [YTA. Based on the title,...](http://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/up9o3c/aita_for_kicking_my_brother_out_after_he_insulted/i8jkgtn/) beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/Ornerytyt](https://np.reddit.com/u/Ornerytyt/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too. Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=Ornerytyt) for info on how I work and why I exist.


NTA, but you may have to keep playing the game for as long as you’re living at home. Have you tried talking to her about your issues with this church and your father?


My dad thinks it is a cult as well. My mom is the only one here heavily invested in this "church". I guess it is some sort of escapism for her from the abuse of my dad but she just really got waaaay into it. He is just like "Oh well let me just do this to make my wife shut up."


Are you in therapy?


Oh yes I have been in treatment since i was 14. I can not really go anymore because they believe that therapy is a scam. They truly lack common sense to not see that it is impossible to make huge progress if I am still living here and not going regularly.


Checking in for your escape here; is your money somewhere they can't access it? Make sure that you don't let ANYTHING CHIP in to your loving out savings. Not life saving surgery, not because the roof of the house cracks, nothing. Families like this have a habit of finding discreet ways to trickle away your savings and trap you for longer. When you leave, try to find a way to keep contact on your terms only (if you want to at all), like doing it through a specific app or something. If possible, don't give them your address, especially not right away. Change your number, change all your passwords the same day to something none of them know. Be safe


thank you sm! i opened a new bank account last week and they don’t know about it. sadly i have no savings at all because my dad made me sign over documents in the past to take the money to pay for bills or support his alcoholism or gambling. working on it though!!


Get your documents together and in a safe place. They’ll try to get you too. Parasites.


Sad but unsurprising :( If you get kicked out, local homeless support is your best bet. If they know you won't be taken back and you've proven able to hold a job, even part time, they are much more likely to place you.


Thank you sm really.


Sounds very similar to MLM scams, the way you described the 3200 euros. Is this her only friend group and she feels she can't leave? Maybe she's too far down the rabbit hole


Yes! She does not really have friends outside of the cult because her priestess always makes up stories about how her friends are there to harm her etc. She even calls that lady her mother but it is not surprising considering the fact that she does not have any family members in the country we live in (only my dad's side is here). She is also currently investing in a pyramid scheme as well but oh well. Whatever illusion makes her have faith in her world.


You need to feel safe. Your mother has not contributed to you feeling safe. This is one time when you need to make your own boundary to protect yourself. Yes, others may have an opinion but frankly, their opinions are none of your business. You can leave them to their drama - your job is to not get sucked in. Will saying no be hard? Yes, it will, but not as hard as allowing yourself to be placed in that shit show of a wedding ceremony and all that it entails. NTA.


NTA It’s good that you are aware and the chance of you getting sucked in is little to none. If you are wanting to avoid drama and avoid the chances of you getting kicked out, just for the meanwhile, I think attend the wedding…don’t partake in any weird activities or eat any weird foods. Perhaps you can fake sick after the “I dos” and make your way out. You shouldn’t have to do either of these things and hopefully you wont have to go and still avoid drama. Your mom hasn’t been a mom to you so you don’t owe her anything, nor should you feel guilt for not wanting to participate in her wedding Wishing you the best in saving up enough to leave and start your own safe home ❤️


thank you sm :') <3


I agree with this comment. It might be a good strategic decision to.go. It could help keep.presdure off you while you do the really important thing: prepare to get away from your parents.


NTA...but please protect yourself. Get out ASAP and surround yourself with people and/or organizations who will have your back. Your safety is of utmost importance.


The thing is that here I do not really think that cps here would help me due to me being 19, over 18 but I am trying my utmost best to get out of this hell. I might reach out to some facilities that help people with abuse.


Isn't there some kind of adult protective service?


I would have to call around and get some info about that


You might consider contacting the [Federal Office on Cult Issues.](https://www.bundeskanzleramt.gv.at/en/agenda/youth/Counselling-and-Information/Federal-Office-on-Sect-Issues.html)


NTA. It is with consequenses, but you are aware of them. And i think you would be better off if you indeed would not go to the wedding.


Not just this wedding, throw the whole mom out since she doesn't seem to understand she's in a cult and isn't even working on getting out of it. No need to drag OP down with her and further ruin OPs mental health


My cat jumped on me demanding breakfast as I read your sentence, "don't pet cats they're beings of the devil." I pet her twice just to be sure. NTA for wanting to avoid a cult. Infact it's probably a good thing to do.


I suppose in your situation, a 'satanometer' would be useful. Safety first. Lol


So give her a treat and call her a good girl. Tummy rubs, if she allows it


NTA but be prepared to no longer have a place to live.


NTA, I think you should get far away from that church as possible


Move out ASAP. You don't have to go to the wedding, but you do need to leave.


NOPE! Yes, she will call you TA, but you are NTA. Man, never go there, ever again unless you want to torch the place. This is some Cthulhu level time-portal medieval sh\*t. Never compromise your safety for being in someone's life. Cults are a horrid thing. And yes, sometimes you need to cut yourself off of your loved ones to stay safe and sane. And no, you don't owe them sh\*t. You owe it to yourself to take care of yourself. Get the f\*ck out while you still can, if you go there, they might pull same shady f\*cking shit, ruin the wedding and then blame it on you. That's how cults do.


Hey don't bash Cthulhu! Or your number will be up once the stars are aligned...


Lol, I expected A LOT, but not getting scorned for using the dreamer's name in vain. I humbly seek forgiveness.


Have us sacrifice your mortal coil and perhaps there'll be glory.


Ok, fair enough. Sounds like a normal monday...


NTA. You need to look out for your own safety, since she won't – safety by staying away from this cult and safety by contacting the police if necessary if there's any more abuse. You could do something nice on that day to underscore that the reason is because of the cult, not her, but that's completely optional.


NTA, going would be enabling. Sometimes you have to do what's right and what's right is sometimes not easy to do.


No better time to take a break from people and mean it.


NTA, but it would be better if you had a job and a place to live first. Then you can just send her a card, wish her well and say you have to work that day.


All religions and churches are cults, they all want you to believe what they tell you to believe.


NTA Tbh go speak to the police and report this cult, it sounds like it’s committing fraud anyway with the money and whether thats being reported for tax purposes. Explain about the ‘exorcisms’ etc and you are worried about what could happen to you living at your parents. Honestly the authorities need information to try and bring down cults


To be very honest, I doubt that the Austrian police will take me seriously if I ever did that. I can not even imagine what would happen if I reported them. They would all gather together at the "church" and start praying and wishing for that person to die who reported them (according to my mom, the priestess has told someone "if you do not tell me the truth you will die") before. So yea there is that. She would also be up until 5am in the morning praying her brains out for that person to reveal themselves and if she knew it was me then I would not be her daughter anymore.


NTA, I would’ve cut contact with them long ago tbh


I still live with them sadly.


YWNBTA and yet you should probably go anyway if you are still planning on living at home for a while. Sometimes the past of least resistance is the path you need to tread until you are ready to pave an entirely new trail and ride out. You don’t want to make your remaining time at home any harder than it has to be. Refusing the wedding will certainly bring you more problems. The cult will put more pressure on your mom to put more pressure on you. Or kick you out before you are ready. Can you have a mental health plan for after the wedding. Something you will treat yourself to? Visiting a friend? Buying yourself something you want? Even watching a good Netflix marathon? Something you can reward yourself with for getting on with it? Last but not least, it might help to go and try to disassociate yourself a bit from this being your family and take it in as a weird cult documentary or sociological study. Consider yourself a researcher and observe from that angle. It’s a mental trick that, while not a great life strategy overall, can be really useful in events like these to make it through and live with great stories to tell later when you are out of all this mess! Good luck OP!


"You don’t want to make your remaining time at home any harder than it has to be." Well said. Right now I currently don't have a plan for after the wedding. I might ask some friends if they want to go out. Maybe I can sleep over at someone's place or book a night at a cheap Airbnb. I really even did not think about caring for myself, thank you a lot.


Your welcome! I’d love to give you lofty advice about standing your ground and accepting what may come to not compromise your moral compass but… sometimes being practical just makes more sense. And these people literally know where you sleep. Go to the wedding and act like it isn’t weird AF for a few hours then go hang out with friends and tell them all about how batshit crazy if all was. Then do something fun and “treat yo self!” If you need any more advice or want to talk it out feel free to PM me. My profession has taught me all sorts of mindset tips and tricks for moving through these things so I’m happy to share with you.


Omg this is amazing. I definitely will talk shit about the wedding to my close friend later on. Thanks!!!


I’d say it’s time to move out at this point


NTA. It sounds like your parents are totally toxic. Good on you for having an escape plan. For extra credit: How's your sister bearing up through all this? Would it be useful for you to be a lifeline for your sister?


I posted a different post on my account a while ago about my sister. She is doing horrible but oh well what can I do. At least she has someone by her side which I did not as a child.


NTA. "Traditional wedding". ​ You are your own person, and you have every right to feel safe. The cult does not provide you safety. Be polite, but confidently decline. I sense that perhaps your home life isn't safe either. If you do not feel safe *at home*, that's a far larger problem.


INFO: how long have your parents been part of this cult? Have they ever forced you and your sister to join? That information is what I require to get a better view of your situation. Though looking at it right now, I'd definitely say you're NTA. You speak of abuse and during the ceremony you'd be surrounded by people with beliefs that are extremely different from yours. I'd find that intimidating. You wouldn't have a good time at that wedding. You also have reasons to not support this marriage, especially as it's initiated by this cult. In short, you wouldn't actually be happy for them. So what good would your attendance do?


Your last sentence was on point. My mom has been part of the cult for around a year now I think. Since my sister is 10 years younger than me she can not really rebel against it and she is forced to go to the church services. My mother already knows my stance but she continuously hopes for my salvation and that God will someday bring me close to belief. Also, I really would not have a good time at that wedding. The first and last time I was there I felt so drained and depressed after I got home. Sick shit happens there.


Damn, I hope you'll find a way to escape the household and help your sister get out of there!


If god did show up, don't quite think it will end the way she thinks it will. Not op, op's mother.


NTA. If you don’t want to cut ties you could try to compromise by going to the reception only.


NTA. I wouldn’t go but have an emergency escape plan ready as the shite will hit the fan big time. Is your sister safely away are do you need to take her? If she’s still there things could get rough for her. Most important thing to do is to keep you and your sister safe. Good luck


You have no obligation to keep toxic people in your life. You also have no obligation to go to any event.


Cults are too dangerous to fuck around with, especially if you're completely vulnerable. Don't jeopardize your safety; you'd also be jeopardizing your ability to escape. What is going on here is completely wrong but you are in no position to call it out.


NTA. You need to go to that wedding even if you don't want to. If you won't, chances are the priestess is gonna poison your parents against you which in the end will result in kicking you out. Don't risk it unless you have friends you rely on and can stay with them. If you have friends who you can stay with, don't go to the wedding, take your clothes and leave your home and never look back.


True that. thank you a lot


I trully wish the best for you. I do hope on an update in the future and I hope that you only have positive things to say!


Yesss!!! Give me a few months and you might see me with a post saying I have started my new life chapter in my new safe home. Thank you a lot!!!


NTA As as someone who has survived a cult (also mom fault) RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. Don't get involved, don't care about what they think, they are not the king of people you want or should please, BE rude, be unthankfull but top of it BE SAFE. Cults are dangerous shit, put your safety first.


INFO > it is not at a proper church, it's taking place at a cult #What's the difference? > fake exorcisms As opposed to... the *real* kind?


Good question hahaha


NTA and from what you said it sounds like you should go no contact when you move out if she didn’t try to stop, and actually endorsed, your dads beatings then she is just as guilty of abuse as he is. But it sounds like it wouldn’t be worth the hassle if you don’t go. If start getting called the devil they’ll probably kick you out before you can get a job and then you’ll really be screwed. I think this may be a fake it till you make it deal.


>I will also be met with insane drama and accusations of me being possessed by the devil for not wanting to be there for my mother Uh. >never do I want to step a foot in there again. Why? from fake exorcisms Are you sure this is a wedding and not an exorcism *for you*? I think you have good reason to want nothing to do with this place. And to get out of that house as soon as you possibly can. Cult members do not deal well with being in close proximity to non-cult members who might challenge the cult’s authority. She is very likely to increase her attempts to bring you into the fold, and escalate the levels of aggression and intensity used to break you down. The only way to protect yourself is to make sure you live somewhere that she can’t access without your permission. Frankly, I wouldn’t give her the new address until/unless she exits the cult of her own free will. Forget the wedding, focus your energy on getting that job and finding a new place to live. NTA, just get out of there.


This!!! After reading all the comments I think I will have to force myself to go but your advice about not telling them my address, later on, is really good. Maybe they will then realize how horrible they've treated me my entire life.


Go late leave early. I’d also think about “OMG I just threw up and need to leave!”


NTA. You have a right to your own feelings. I wonder if it's possible to move out sooner, and so avoid the obligation of having to go because you're still living there? It's a difficult situation for you to be in.


It is basically impossible to move out in a week sadly.


Sad, and I hope you can move out asap and set your own boundaries for your life. Re the wedding, it might be possible for you to go to avoid disrupting family relationships until you can move, but keep yourself to yourself and avoid becoming emotionally entangled in the whole thing. I hope you do find a solution for yourself.


From my point of view, NTA. From your mother, father and priestess, you would-be be the AH. You are not vile, unthankful or anything to choose your own religious path. They have already chosen theirs, why rob you the chance to choose yours? Also, in your place I would weight what would give me more piece. Do I want piece of mind and not going and assuming a stand or do I want the piece of not dealing with drama while I can't move out for good? After you move out, go with piece of mind.


So, firstly NTA, but some advice: sounds like your parents are fine with being abusive to their kids, and you should prioritize your safety. If you're not ready to bolt yet, go to the wedding and grit your teeth. I get you don't want to be there but if they're abusers like you say they'll either take it out on you afterwards, or possibly on your sister, so be mindful of safety. Be cautious, don't do anything that'll get you or your sister hurt, get out of the situation ASAP.


thank you sm!!


NTA but frankly, pretty much any religion has ridiculous shit they do. This one isn't any different.


You are NTA. Cults can be extremely dangerous. If I were you, I wouldn't go to the wedding. If this is a cult, it is NOT a "traditional" wedding; it's a cult wedding - very different. Cults do everything they possibly can to overcome your objections and drag you into their cult. Even if you feel you're strong enough to withstand, I still wouldn't go to the wedding. It's just opening you up to all sorts of bad things. Check into programs in your area for victims of domestic violence. They may be able to help you leave your house, OR they may have information on groups that help children of cult members. You need to leave home ASAP, Like yesterday! You are not safe there and your mother is likely to force this cult on you. I may sound hard, but it's vital that you get out!


Thank you a lot really.


If you can move out prior to the wedding I would definitely not go, it’s a good time to get rid of toxic people in your house. If you can’t you may consider going because not going could be so much worse. If you go it’s worth coming up with ways to detox during or after. Wish you the best, it’s a really difficult situation. Button hopefully one way or another it will mark the beginning of a new better life free of toxicity


Thank you a lot.


NTA you have to do what’s safest for you. It scares me that you may not go whilst you are still staying with them incase of what the fall out may be. Do you have any normal sane friends or people you can talk to for help. Could you ask to speak to your boss and explain it all. He may be able to help get you temporarily into a shelter until you can get a place. Anything is safer than being there. Is your sister a minor because the instant your safe you should go to child protective services or social services for them to make sure she is safe at home. If you go to college or uni then a counsellor there is a good place to go for help.


Can not tell want sort of religion your mother is into that has priestess and fear cats so Word if warning. Check first with your mother if you only have to attend. Ie sit in the back and watch or is there an active part you will be expected to play. You do not want any surprises on the day.


If you think you can hold it together for the day I would go along with it if you are stuck living with her at the minute. It might save you a lot of problems in the long run. Again never heard of a Christian religion with a priestess but we only have the mainstream ones here


She is "Christian". She also expects me to record the entire day on a video camera. There will not be a chance for me to breathe on that day but I have experienced worse I think.


You should go to the wedding and take a black cat with you as your plus 1. Seriously don't go if you don't want to, you are not obligated.


How old is your sister? Once you're out of the household, and if she's underage, CPS should be called. Cults are highly dangerous. ie, Charles Manson type shit. There are shelters all over the US who house abused minors and young adults. Please OP be safe!


My sister is nine. I am planning on helping her once I am out of here because she is not doing well mentally AT ALL. I will try my best thank you!!!!


I would go and leave if anything weird or whatever happens and bothers you


NTA. Don’t go.


NTA for not wanting to go but play it safe, OP. i grew up in a very similar family that you did - abusive and in a cult. i ended up finding a cheap apartment in another state and “running away” at 20 years old. waitressing was enough to pay for all of my expenses for years. having a roommate cuts a lot of expenses in half. or maybe you have a sane family member you could stay with instead. i’m very concerned for your safety and wish you the best. please at least be working as much as you can right now, not only to save up for escaping, but also to spend less time at home in a way they can’t contest (unless they’re against women working..)


Thank you really. I am trying my best to save a lot and work as much as I can. I am also sorry that you had to go through this.


that’s good to hear, a few years later i can say it really does get better and it really is possible to escape. i haven’t seen my parents faces in 3 years


YWNBTA. But please be careful. If there is a chance that not going while you are under her roof could cause issues to you in any way, I would just go. I don't want them to try to exorcize you or a number of things that could happen if they think the devil has got a hold on you or whatever. But I hope you can get out soon. This sounds incredibly unhealthy for all of the reasons everyone else has already listed and let's not underestimate how dangerous cults can be.


NTA run, run far away.


NTA...stand your ground


YWNBTA I’d you don’t go to that wedding. That “church” sounds like really bad news and as it makes you uncomfortable you definitely should avoid going at all costs. I hope you can get out sooner rather than later and no, you do not owe the people that caused you years of stress and pain anything. Abuse is abuse it doesn’t matter who is dishing it out.


>Do I even owe them anything after all this pain? Nope, NTA


NTA just keep your head down and make your escape plan. You owe no one anything in such a toxic and potentially dangerous situation.


NTA- hope you can get out soon


Nta, i think you should tell your mother though, tell her why so she would know its not personally about her but about the cult, and tell her you wish you would have seen her but you cant bc its a cult. If anyone says you are possessed just ignore, hopefully not someone you care enough about, and tell your mother to ignore them


OMG NTA. And you need to *run* not walk away from these people. Go no contact. They're extremely toxic.


NTA Run. Run away and NEVER come back.


I was going to say but think of the hilarious stories you may get but never mind this is too awful. NTA.




NTA. I think maybe you will get SO sick the day before. Ugh. Puking . Running to the bathroom. “ Gee, I don’t know, I don’t have a fever but I can’t keep anything down and I have to go crap all the time. Oh, I have to run to the bathroom. Holding hand over mouth and handover belly “. Go get sick the day before.


"Go get sick the day before" omg hahaha


Don’t go. Treat yourself to a nice relaxing day and dinner out. Don’t call. Don’t email or text. Don’t go.


NTA don’t go to the wedding


NTA Sorry, mom, Satan said I can’t. /s


I mean. No. Obviously NTA. I do have to wonder if this is a troll, but I'm going to treat you seriously. No, sweetheart. No, you're not an AH. This is incredibly messed up. I wish I had a rescue team right now. Do you have teachers, other family, outside community, anyone who can help you leave this situation? Because this is a nightmare situation, and your mom and dad should not be pushing their messed-up cultish whatever nonsense onto you and your sister. I would strongly encourage you to get the fuck out ASAP, and I wish I could tell you exactly how to do so.


I have another post on my account regarding my parents (the one with my sister). Maybe that will reduce your doubts but thank you for treating it seriously <3


Went and read. Jesus, I am so sorry. You are doing your best in a situation no one should ever have to be in. I repeat my wish for a rescue team. You have a lot of good in you, don’t let them press it out of you with their crazy.


YWNBTA ​ But going to a church is no statement about your beliefs - it is just politeness in joining a religious ceremony you consider meaningless.


NO, you are not the asshole. It's like any other invitation. If you don't want to go, don't go. But get out of her house and get out of her life. If she did nothing to protect you from your father, why do you want to be around her in the first place?


^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mom is planning on having a traditional wedding next week with my dad. The big problem here is that it is not at a proper church, it's taking place at a cult. I have been to that church once before after she begged me to go as a mothers day present and never do I want to step a foot in there again. Why? from fake exorcisms to spending money on the "priestess" to really horrible religious takes such as "don't pet cats they are beings of the devil". I also recently found out that my mom sent 3200 EUROS to her priestess, it is absolutely insane. I have quite frankly developed a strong hatred towards her due to her endorsing my father's abuse that has scarred me and my sister for life and her not wanting the best for her own children. A part of me assumes that I can choose whether I want to play an active role in their lives ( even though I still live at their house but I am in the process of getting a job and moving out). Yet on the other hand I have the feeling that it might come off as "too rude, unthankful, vile" etc. to not attend her wedding because who am I, as her child to not go there? I will also be met with insane drama and accusations of me being possessed by the devil for not wanting to be there for my mother but I just ask myself at this point: Do I even owe them anything after all this pain? So in conclusion: WIBTA if I do not go to my mother's cultish wedding? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


YWBTA. All other religions are cults to those that believe in another set of deities. So refusing to attend her wedding because of the officiant's religion is AH behavior. Your feelings about her failure to stop your father's abusive behavior is another matter entirely, isn't it? YWNBTA to refuse to have anything to do with them for that alone but, if so, it's time to stop taking their money and leave.


You do realize that what op has been describing isn't just your neighborhood church, right? Like clearly there is cult behavior going on here. Oh and the comment about taking their money, op said in another comment that infact her family is the one taking HER money so maybe you should rethink your comment


How am I supposed to respect someone's "religion" if **I have stated multiple times** that I do not like certain things she is doing such as rubbing my feet with olive oil every night because her priestess told her that it is demons causing my depression by entering through my feet?


I mean, Christianity, Islam and Judaism and most sects aren’t cults to me, but Scientology sure is, and the Witnesses and LDS groups certainly come off as cults based on behavior, treatment of others, etc. It’s not about the beliefs or the deities, but about the way they enforce those beliefs and treat the members. Yes, people choose to do this, but the leaders are predatory at best.




Imagine siding with a cult. Be a better person.


>you’re still living in their house, so presumably you don’t feel so negatively physically, spiritually or morally impacted by their belief systems to prevent you from taking full advantage of your parents accommodation, groceries, laundry, wifi… You have conveniently omitted >her endorsing my father's abuse that has scarred me and my sister for life and her not wanting the best for her own children from that list.