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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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nos-lo

NTA but in my opinion sense of humor not matching up is a dealbreaker. I loved my last boyfriend but we never found each other funny. When we broke up, I told him it was hard to be with someone who didn't think I was funny, and his answers basically made me realize he thought women can't be funny. My current boyfriend and me are constantly laughing and have tons of inside jokes, and thats a big part of what's made it the best relationship I've ever been in. Your partner has to be your best friend too!


avekatanas

Hard agree. From OP’s other comments bf seems like kind of a piece of work.


saucynoodlelover

Methinks the boyfriend identifies too much with Tucker Carlson.


ohnonotagain42-

Why do you say that? Does bf touchs himself thinking about m&ms?


IntroductionKindly33

Sense of humor is definitely important in a relationship. That said, I didn't realize just how funny my husband can be until we went on our honeymoon and he let loose. I asked him why he wasn't that funny before and he said he was afraid he would scare me off, but once we were married it would be harder for me to leave, so he decided he could relax and make more jokes. My response "if I had known how funny you were, I would have married you sooner." Sense of humor needs to match up in a relationship. Not that it has to be identical, but in general you need to find each other's jokes funny.


foxontherox

God, it’s so true- been with my husband for 20+ years, and from the moment we wake up in the morning our time together is basically spent cracking each other up with ridiculous inside jokes and silly comments about anything and everything. I can’t imagine how depressing it must be to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you laugh!


amyg17

Yes! No one makes me laugh harder than my wife. That sort of bond puts us so at ease to where we feel we can both be 100% authentic, which neither of us had experienced before. Sometimes we’ll just be laying together, laughing so hard we cry, and all we can say is that surely no one else in the world has as much fun or loves each other as much as we do. So yeah- find someone who makes you laugh!


briannabanana98

Oh no. Oh man. This just made me realize my relationship is basically doomed. I don't find most of the things my boyfriend does funny. That's sounds weird. He thinks puke jokes and coughing really hard for a minute and pretending to die is funny. The puke ones I can deal with, but I don't find them funny. The pretending to die is sometimes genuinely traumatic because he drags it out for a while and is pretty authentic sometimes. I think farts and fart jokes and some poop jokes are hilarious, he thinks they are juvenile and not funny at all. He makes lots of jokes, mostly about serious things or unfunny things, and doesn't see that it's inappropriate at all. I don't "get" his jokes most of the time. He doesn't "get" mine. Oof.


falloutphan_

wait, he finds puke jokes funny but thinks fart jokes are immature? wild


Doctor-Amazing

A genuine renaissance man


Allymadox

Just to let you know, that pretending to be dead thing is something abusive parents do to their kids pretty often, to get the kids to prove how much they love them. I'd run


blues983

Run, run for your life!!


Flat_Phrase7521

This guy intentionally does something you find “genuinely traumatic” for his own amusement on a regular basis? That is beyond incompatible senses of humor; that is him deliberately causing you pain because *he likes seeing you in pain.* There is a difference between “I don’t get what’s so funny, but okay, weirdo” and “This is distressing me, please stop, why aren’t you stopping.”


mollipop67

My sister once told me I’m too goofy and that turns guys off and why I had trouble dating. At 40 years old, I met my current boyfriend and I can be completely myself with him. I’m glad I didn’t listen to her and try to change who I was.


daric

That’s hilarious!


Foxodroid

That's my theory on how dad jokes are born. Guys finally feeling comfortable enough to be goofy.


AuraofBrie

I love being goofy with my partner. I made a bad pun while we were skiing today and his response was "shut up, dad." His dad and I actually have scary similar senses of humor, despite me being almost 40 years younger, child free, and a woman.


PouncingFox

That's adorable. I think it was the third date with my current boyfriend that I opened the floodgates of my humor and weirdness, I figured I had spent my entire previous relationship pretending to be who I wasn't to make my ex happy that I needed to be upfront. Fortunately I was the exact kind of weird he was looking for and my silly "ok but what if..." scenarios charmed him. Humor is so important to match up


osmoticmonk

when my girlfriend and i started dating, we had great conversations and there was a lot of love early on, but we didn’t find each other especially funny until around a year into our relationship. i guess she got more comfortable doing stupid voices and silly faces around me, and i think i got better at making dad jokes that she actually found funny. now we’re each other’s go-to person when we’re feeling down and need a laugh.


NewBromance

Nta but I'm also curious is the boyfriend possibly more right wing than OP and is actually a fan of Tucker Carlson. It could well be the reason he's getting do annoyed isn't the lack of humour but because he feels personally attacked by having a person he politically agrees with getting mocked.


Civil-Pause-386

Almost every single person who says "both sides are bad" is a closeted conservative.


NewBromance

There was actually a study done on conservatives in the UK and it was found that over half of single conservative voters under 35 say they're either non partisan, centrist or not into politics on dating apps. In the UK there has always been an idea of the "silent tory" because the tories always seem to receive more votes than prediction pills suggest. And that the ratio of people who admit to being a tory voter is far lower than the amount of votes the tories clearly receive. Recent events and the UKs sudden lurch into the right wing can be seen as these silent voters finally becoming emboldened to be honest. I don't know how much of this is applicable to the US were right wingers tended to be a lot more vocal historically. But it definitely lends credibility to the idea a lot of "non partisans" are secret conservatives.


Civil-Pause-386

Almost everybody in the US is more conservative than they realise. Sadly.


Smgt90

This happened to me with a guy I was dating. He was cute, interesting and smart but something still felt off. I then realized that he didn't laugh at my jokes and he didn't make me laugh either. It's definitely a super important part of a relationship.


lunchbox3

Totally agree! My husband and I don’t have identical senses of humour but there is a very big overlap. I definitely met guys who think girls can’t be funny - there was a guy at university who would genuinely seem kind of cross whenever people were laughing at one of the girls joking around (unless it was self deprecating of course…)


itsmaruyes

Yeah I dated a guy who self described as “not being into humor” ONCE and never again. The one time I got him to laugh, he laughed silently! It was a nightmare.


Caddan

> he thought women can't be funny Wait, what? Quick, someone tell my mom that. I got about 50% of my humor and bad jokes from her. She was an expert at telling a joke completely deadpan to the point you think it's serious, until the punchline hits.


Civil-Pause-386

It's an opinion made popular by people like Jerry Lewis and Christopher Hitchens. It's also obviously incorrect.


PrettyShore28

No fr sense of humor matching is almost as high as sexual comparability. My husband and I laugh about stupid shit all the time (even though we swear the other isn't funny)


mwilke

I would actually argue that sense of humor is even more valuable than sexual compatibility, if we’re ranking ‘em. My husband and I might have sex a couple times a week, or less if we’re stressed or busy - but we laugh together multiple times a day no matter what’s going on in our lives!


rhymes_with_mayo

That is so wholesome.


Yukimor

> and his answers basically made me realize he thought women can't be funny. If you don’t mind my asking, what did he say?


dragon-queen

Totally. I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t think at least some of my jokes were funny, and vice versa.


[deleted]

[удалено]


formativememories

im autistic as well and was just thinking that. he took it completely literally and just didnt get it. i understand it can be hard to explain jokes to people with a different sense of humor but like ouch that woulda hurt me too.


proteins911

I’m autistic too and am still trying to figure out what OP found funny.


whatthewhythehow

I hope you don’t mind me trying to explain! If you do, stop reading. But I think the conversation about humour is interesting. The joke is in the fact that Tucker Carlson doesn’t believe what he’s saying and he’s doing this because he hates a certain group of people (liberals/leftists). Because he doesn’t have a good argument against liberals/leftists, he’s forced to construct a world where M&Ms are supposed to be sexually arousing. The truth is, the M&Ms are for marketing. They resemble humans and modern human fashion so they can make jokes that make their product appealing. They are modified to match the culture or the day so they can remain a relevant marketing tool. It has nothing to do with “values”. Tucker knows that a large chunk of Americans are scared when things change. Changing gender roles mean that their way or life may not be the default, and as a result there’s a loss or power, and people no longer feel righteous, or like they are choosing the only good path. They lash out against the people they see as taking that away from them. However, this is a childish argument. Other people’s lives shouldn’t affect your own that much. On top of that, as mentioned before, M&Ms are just following trends to sell food. This means that Tucker is able to get a ton of views and money by pretending every little thing that changes is an attack on these people and their traditional families. No one was ever supposed to jerk off to the M&Ms. Like, there’s someone out there who is into it, I’m sure, but it wasn’t the point. They were marketing. So they imitated human culture as a joke. But if someone says that M&Ms are made by a soulless company just changing marketing tactics to sell more candy, then it isn’t an attack on their traditions (which are heavily tied to capitalism, the real engine behind the change). To make this change seem like an attack, Tucker has to make the M&Ms seem more meaningful. Since what is being changed is gender and sexuality, what is offensive about M&Ms has to be related to that. So as a result he is forced to pretend that M&Ms are sexy. That men want to bang them. And that the super high heels were to appeal to male sexuality and shortening them is meant to attack men and take away something they enjoy. Because the people watching are already angry, they decide that this is a genuine argument and not just ridiculous. But if Tucker reveals that he knows that this is ridiculous, then the idea that other people’s gender and sexuality are an attack on straight men loses a little credibility. As a result, Tucker is forced to go on camera and pretend that men everywhere want to have sex with M&Ms. He has to pretend that the gender and sexuality of M&Ms aren’t just a marketing ploy based on demographics, and that they’re not made to make a point, just to make money. He’s fighting against nothing. None of it makes sense, and it results in a grown man with no real argument insisting that the M&Ms were supposed to be for sexual pleasure.


freshandpoppin

They say explaining a joke ruins it but that doesn't apply here. I've never seen a joke that seems so simple broken down so thoroughly. Amazing. (No joke, good job)


basilobs

I honestly loved and appreciated this


renska2

This was a wonderful explanation; thanks for taking the time. As an aside, I loathe Tucker Carlson SO MUCH. Also, I was away from the internet so when I came back online to find "sexualizing candy" comments on Twitter, I was, truly, baffled for a bit. But then I found it had all arisen from Tucker Carlson and the world made sense again. Which is an exceedingly sad commentary on the state of US media.


Jaggedrain

My dad is such a fan of his, it's really depressing 😭


lainiezensane

Bless you. This was a delight.


guilty_by_design

Thank you for this. I mean, I got the joke when I saw it... but after reading your breakdown of it, I *really* got it. You cut right to the heart of what was going on with this whole segment, and I appreciate it. I hope it helps some other people to truly understand this absurdity as well. The hero we needed.


throwaway-coparent

Saving this because of how well it was written. Best explanation I’ve seen of the whole absurdity yet.


Blue-Jay27

I think this explanation made the joke even funnier. Thank you


GoblinPrinceUntold

The dude in the video was mad that they made the green m&m "less sexy" and said that they're going to go until people are turned off by cartoons, sexually. So OP joked that he was in fact sexually interested in the green m&m, which is funny because it's absurd.


ClydeenMarland

I'm autistic and got it, but there's a massive spectrum of autism and I agree it sound like he's on there somewhere.


jrl2014

But like, can you believe a serious man was talking about that on the serious news? And that Fox News--thw pro business freedom station disapproves of a business having the freedom of their marketing team making a marketing design that will maker them more money?!? It must have something to do with Tucker Carlson's entitlement to the sexiness of women's bodies (even if their m&ms). And it's primarily the Green one who's getting treated better (since she's been coded as a black women by her voice. Apparently there was a commercial where she went into a hot tub and the green came off as if she was naked and brown underneath? So really all of this is about the politics of racism and sexism in marketing, which is why Fox wants the M&M brand to not change, even though the brand is just changing to get with the times and make more money.


proteins911

Ahhh I see. It is "funny" in the sense that we are mocking him but he was being serious. I agree that it is crazy for someone to discuss this seriously on TV.


thepwisforgettable

I don't think that's quite the explanation. Tucker Carlson "sells" outrage. He gets views by pandering to people who are furious at everything liberal. In this case, "liberalism" is associated with making characters less sexy and more diverse, a REALLY common criticism against movies and video games. The thing is, in his rant, he says a lot about how sexy the old m&ms were, which heavily, heavily implies he found the old characters very sexy. By trying to sell this outrage to a situation it barely applies to, he just accidentally sounded like he really wanted to fuck an m&m. In trying to sell right-wing outrage, he backed himself into a corner where the only possible argument relies on him arguing how much sexier their older shoes used to be, so he's just... ranting about sexy m&ms. The funny part is we all know he doesn't really want to fuck an m&m, but in trying to sound outraged about something so minor, he keeps talking like he wants to fuck it anyways. By breaking it down to that base premise, that he used to want to fuck m&ms, it draws attention to how absurd his entire rant is. Nobody laughing at him thinks he was sincere, though.


weaver_of_cloth

I dunno, I'm not convinced he didn't want to fuck the green M&M.


karskipellis

>can you believe a serious man was talking about that on the serious news? Thing is, Tucker Carlson is not a serious man. He is not to be taken seriously on most topics.


youburyitidigitup

What’s funny is that it’s ridiculous to think that m&m is trying to make their cartoons less sexy since they weren’t sexy in the first place


ArbitraryUsernames

Maybe, but OP's post history has a couple posts where he refuses to stop dropping slurs (ethnic and homophobic). Good chance he's morally aligned with Tucker, and is just angry that someone he views as "right" is being mocked mercilessly.


KaszaJaglanaZPorem

Exactly this. The boyfriend said "he's just upset that they're making the green m&m sexy" as if there is anything to be upset about.


mugaccino

Option A: he is a tucker fan. Option B: he also wants to fuck the green m&m.


TyFell

Option C: All of the above.


sabometrics

A would be definite grounds for breaking up/never associating with a person again. B I'd probably try to get them therapy.


agoldgold

Eh, finding the green MnM sexy isn't therapy-worthy on its own. Not my circus, whatever. Liking Tucker, on the other hand, immediate break up.


whorlando_bloom

This is the more likely answer. My ex had a great sense of humor about most things but if I made jokes about Tucker Carlson or Ben Shapiro they were NOT FUNNY AT ALL.


alancewicz

I was thinking this too. I think he agrees with Tucker and that's why he didn't find it funny


freshandpoppin

I had a feeling that's what was going on here. OP's boyfriend is just terrible.


GrowCrows

"My boyfriend is mad I'm a social justice warrior" Yup you nailed it! BF can't take a joke about Tucker because he is an alt right nut job.


WitzendWitch

oh big yikes! Totally didnt see that.


banana345345

I just want to make it clear I never would have made the comment if he was autistic. And I wasn’t mad he didn’t like the jokes I was mad he was annoyed at me for making the jokes.


Scary_Offer2479

NTA. What you have here is a Tucker Carlson fan (your boyfriend) acting passive agressive. I bet if you observed him watching Fox News, and Tucker Carlson made a racist or homophobic joke - he would laugh his ass off. You warned him he would not get the joke. He not only didn't get the joke, but began to debate the whole premise that Tucker Carlson thought M&M's should remain sexy (defending Tucker Carlson - clearly trying to frustrate you). You tried to end the whole thing with the statement "I'm sorry you don't have a sense of humor". Now he's pissed at you because he can't think of a retort. Classic Tucker move - acting like a victim. I hate to tell you, but this is not the droid you're looking for.


Portalman111

Bro, are all your posts real? You seem to be making posts about your boyfriend being misogynistic every other week. NTA . I think you need to reread all your old posts at once and decide if this guy is someone you want to be with. R


Wrought-Irony

I think we all may be missing the real underlying issue here, which is that actually, it's not that your boyfriend has no sense of humor, it's just that he wants to fuck Tucker Carlson and doesn't like it when you make fun of him.


modmuse91

Is this the same boyfriend that got so excited about you sometimes wanting to talk to him more than your other bf that he immediately wanted to have sex and then during asked you to tell him how much better he is than other bf? Because if so…you’ve got a grade A misogynist on your hands.


WitzendWitch

Oh I wasnt trying to say that you were being cruel or anything. More like hey he should get tested because it sounds likely. I'm autistic and I think its pretty funny that Tucker Catlson is mad about M&Ms and joking that he's horny for the green M&M. My tiktok is full of jokes about it so I guess thats why I have no issue understanding it


GrowCrows

NTA I'm on the spectrum and have enough self awareness that if I don't get the joke after it's explained once to just let things move on and not make an issue out of it because it might be humor that my brain doesn't pick up on. Your BF should do the same. Edit: After reading your post history - why are you with this man? He sounds emotionally abusive and manipulative. He's homophobic AND racist.


juicy_belly

From the way i see it, it sounds like he is more on this tucker dudes side and feels offended that she is making fun of him. But i could be wrong.


WitzendWitch

Also very possible! I just noted that OP stated he's never laughed at any jokes and almost seems to not understand the structure/crux of the joke itself.


juicy_belly

I get your side, and from reading the other comments that seems to be it, what i wonder is if he is like that with everyone or just with certain people, especially since op said he doesnt have the same humour as her.


WitzendWitch

Reading OP's other posts about this guy also reveals he's a dickhead lol


Minute_Box3852

This is immediately what I thought esp considering he's never laughed at jokes. My husband is on the spectrum as well.


VeryAwkwardLadyBoner

I'm also autistic, and this was my first thought too.


GSGBsamurai

I have a question if you don't mind. You're aware you don't understand sarcasm due to your autism, but can you learn to understand it? Or is it a case of no matter how hard you try, it'll never make sense to you?


EmmaInFrance

Sarcasm is a weird thing for autistic people because while there is this myth that none of us understand it ever, the #ActuallyAutistic online community often joke that we invented sarcasm, particularly the British community because, of course, British people generally love to be sarcastic (yes, this is very much a loving generalism and there are obviously exceptions) and then when you combine that with autistic sarcasm, then British autistic people can be the champions of the art! :-D But... It's still easier for us to detect sarcasm between fellow autistics than it is from allistic people, particularly completely neurotypical people. Personally, my spiky profile means that I am strong in social, communication and language skills, so I am usually able to detect most sarcasm, from most people but there are still times when it just goes whoosh! Usually because it's someone I don't know well so they're harder to read or I am already tired or stressed for some reason or because the other person isn't actually that good at being sarcastic so they're giving off ambiguous signals or a combination of all of those factors. Sidenote: the spectrum is round and spiky, not linear, as most of the general public believe, which is why, along with it promoting the use of functioning labels; the idea that there is something called 'mild autism'; and the idea that 'everyone can be a little bit autistic'; many of us intensely dislike the term 'spectrum' and particularly the phrase 'on the spectrum' which often feels to us like a euphemism to avoid directly referring to us as autistic. Again, it's been mentioned many times on the sub already, including by me, autistic people overwhelmingly prefer identity first language, we are autistic, we do not 'have autism', we are not people 'with autism', it is an intrinsic part of who we are and can not be separated from us, we do not carry our autism around in handbags or suitcases! You would not say 'people with gayness', would you? Many other individual Disability communities feel the same way, including the general Disability community who also prefer to be called disabled not 'with disabilities'. Another Long Sidenote: Allistic = not autistic. Neurotypical = not neurodivergent. Someone can be considered allistic but neurodivergent if they have, say, ADHD, at least, under the narrow definition of neurodivergent and current accepted scientific knowledge. The wider neurodivergent umbrella also includes many other neurodevelopmental conditions such as the dys- family, Tourettes, certain mental illnesses such as endogenous depression, OCD, schizophrenia etc. Neurodevelopmental research is also currently forming a consensus that autism, ADHD and the dys- family (all frequently co-morbid with each other and having strong genetic links) are actually part of one big different neurotype. It's already well-known that there's a significant overlap between autistic traits and ADHD traits but it's less well known that anyone who is diagnosed with one should be screened for other, instead people are having to advocate for that themselves, often against a lot of misinformation and outdated education amongst professionals in the system. Apologies for the long, tangential sidenotes but talking about autism and autistic people and how we behave requires an understanding of terminology and knowledge that still isn't widespread outside the autistic and wider neurodivergent community but really needs to be for us to make progress on #AutismAcceptance. And yes, you can tell that I'm autistic because I just love to give long infodumps like these :-D And apparently we have no sense of humour, nor a Theory of Mind but I am self aware enough to make that self-deprecating joke! EDITED: because I accidentally hit post far too soon while distracted by my teenage kids!


Purple-Valuable-5245

Perfecting said ☺️ although in saying this most research & professionals tend to heavily rely on males - it has been slow going for Autistic females & much more of an uphill battle to be diagnosed.


EmmaInFrance

Oh yes! I am one of them, late diagnosed at the age of 46 with ADHD and 47 as autistic. It's looking like all of my family are neurodivergent in some way, my three daughters are, my mum is, my brother. There's still a huge fight to stop new research based on outdated, disproven ideas too and to stop the unwanted search for a cure. And don't get me started on the abusive practices of ABA, the use of restraints in schools and StopTheShock! Have you seen As We See It on Prime yet? I watched the entire series Friday night, so promising and yet so disappointing!


GSGBsamurai

Thanks for the thorough explanation and sharing your experiences! That was a really interesting read.


DrinKwine7

You can learn to get the sense that something is supposed to be funny and you can mimic others’ responses to fit in better, but sometimes you just never truly understand why they think it is funny.


GSGBsamurai

Thank you for sharing.


singing_stream

Many of us can learn.. i don't mind sarcasm but it took me well into my 20s to really get it. I look back on some of the things i misunderstood as a child and i'm like ''Ohhhh.. i get it now''. I've always been great at reading tone (the only way my c-ptsd benefits me), but many people do sarcasm in a weird sneery tone - so it was quite confusing for me. I knew they weren't being serious, but was confused as to why others found it funny when the tone wasn't nice.


whydoifeelinsane

Oh yes I want to know this too. No offense tho


Lilsammywinchester13

It’s harder for some than others. It’s a spectrum so some people can adapt and learn while others might never “get it” I fall in the middle, I can mimic people’s reactions, get obvious jokes, but pretty much in general don’t get sarcasm, my poor husband is just stuck using puns


WitzendWitch

I have learned! Usually if what someome is saying makes no sense I can gather its most likely a joke. Not everyone can learn though. Its a spectrum. I land in the corner formerly known as Aspergers so a lot of my "symptoms" (I guess?) are not as pronounced. (I also grew up in a very sarcastic family so it was a bit sink or swim).


Rega_lazar

It’s different for everyone, actually. For me personally, it’s on a person to person basis. Basically I need to re-learn sarcasm with everyone I meet. The way I like to explain it, is that I’ll get it eventually, but even with my family, people I’ve literally known my whole life, I still only get it roughly 75% of the time. The crafty bastards like to use this to mess with me, lol! 😂


GSGBsamurai

Hah, that's nice that you and your family are able to tease about it (as long as you're in on the joke). Thanks for sharing.


LompocianLady

As an autistic I can tell you it took me decades to conceptualize jokes and sarcasm and to try to learn why they are funny. To this day I still have to work at it. I did learn to read body language, vocal intonation and figure out contextual clues. It's still confusing in many settings, and also exhausting in social settings, but I've gotten good at faking it. I have a good sense of humor, and especially for the absurd.


progrethth

I had an autistic colleague who was terrible at understanding sarcasm but also very self aware of that and loved to mess with us by pretending to not understand sarcasm even at times when he actually had. Hilarious guy with a great sense of humor despite his struggles with sarcasm.


EmotionalWindow42

"I'm autistic, thus I'm allowed to diagnose other people with autism over the internet".


WitzendWitch

I wasn't diagnosing anyone. Just saying hey I relate to his experience. I'm sorry if I worded it badly. Please don't be rude to me. I was just offering my thoughts.


jrl2014

I think it sounds more like the boyfriend watches Fox news and doesn't get OP's jokes because he doesn't understand womens' sense of humor.


wvdarlin

That’s what I was thinking also.


Loserlosing666

NTA. He sounds a bit exhausting, maybe he can release some tension with a nice wank to a sexy m&m


mrs_misty-eyed

I believe it was the green M&M he was jacking off to.


banana345345

Ah, my bad. I’ll fix it


Beautiful_Device_250

[It’s either the brown one or maybe both](https://www.thedailybeast.com/tucker-carlson-whines-on-fox-news-how-hes-no-longer-attracted-to-the-brown-mandm)


browntown92

Surprised he hasn’t called for the brown ones deportation


PossibleCook

That’s next week’s segment!


Ugly4merican

The brown one can't be sexy until she takes off her glasses at the end of the movie.


annedroiid

The short clip I saw only showed a comparison of the brown one 🤔


mrs_misty-eyed

Idk anything about the clip, but the company changed the *green* M&M’s shoes from go-go boots to sneakers. He probably just had it wrong.


TheThemFatale

Also, the green m&m used to be a male-coded peanut m&m, and then became a female-coded chocolate one, albeit now less sexualised. [Leading to some fun speculation](https://twitter.com/Lt_Pippa/status/1484312689845612544?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1484312689845612544%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_c10&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fd-35048348425031235.ampproject.net%2F2201071715000%2Fframe.html)


valkyrie_village

They changed both the brown and the green M&M. The green one had her boots changed to sneakers and the brown one had her heels changed to a lower, blockier heel.


Ornery_Plantain_8128

INFO: is your bf a tucker carlson fan? Maybe even on the DL? Maybe you didn’t word it as kindly as you could’ve but I’d bet he pulls this “huh? What do you mean? I don’t get it” stuff a lot at harmless off the cuff jokes and ppl like that are exhausting and are missing a funny bone so 🤷‍♀️ best of luck


banana345345

I don’t think he’s a tucker Carlson fan. Politically he thinks “everyone’s too caught up in sides and they just agree with whatever their side says and don’t think for themselves”. So I think tucker is too partisan for him, although he probably agrees with tucker on this issue.


rhymes_with_mayo

Honestly it sounds like he was picking a fight with you if this is a common dynamic. Why did he even bother asking what you were laughing at if he just wanted to shoot it down?


banana345345

Great question tbh.


ChimericalTrainer

He sounds exhausting. Are you actually happier *with* him than you'd be without him?


Morri___

i had an ex who would do this. i knew i was in for a bad time if he asked why i thought something was funny. he wasn't belligerent about it, in fact his voice would pitch up a little as he attempted to sound light and only mildly curious.. he would get jealous if i was joking with someone else, but he couldn't stop me talking to someone. so he would attack the things we talked about


ZealousidealSorbet10

This was my take, too. Could it be, that the cousin is male and bf is slightly jealous? There seems to be something deeper here...


banana345345

The cousin is male but my boyfriend loves how close I am with my family and thinks it’s really cute so I don’t think he’s jealous of my cousin like that.


Beautiful-Barbie

It sounds like he is a closet conservative and/or enjoys Tucker Carlson, and therefore is upset you’re making fun of him


LeftHandedCaffeinatd

This is what closeted conservatives say, especially if he's annoyed at you making fun of a man who wants to keep a ball of chocolate looking sexy. Sexy by definition means a look that turns someone on, so if all Carlson needs is a pair of heels on a ball ... At least we know why he thinks WAPs are a medical condition.


gdddg

Yep. "both sides" is the calling card of a "centrist" or "libertarian" who votes Republican


TheThemFatale

Yup. When people say "there are extremists on both sides", they're saying they believe neo-nazism and white supremacy is equal to race and gender equity and rights movements. Which is so very far away from correct.


SHIELD_Agent_47

Yup. "Both-sides-ism" is a scourge.


Christron9990

This. People who are quietly conservative often have political opinions like “everyone is as bad as each other”. Their oversimplifications of politics and life often lead to them voting for oversimplified politics - low taxes, reductions in immigration, nationalism, supporting vested structures and interests etc.


newtontheplant

Not to be nitpicky but it was Ben Shapiro who said that his wife said healthy vaginas don't get wet (I hope the Ben Shapiro bot replies to this lol)


beckdawg19

I have literally never heard anyone say this that wasn't actually a staunch Republican.


browntown92

That’s because anyone that says “both sides” ignores that fact that one side tried to overthrow democracy


thebutchone

And also somehow convinces themselves that the side that wants to hurt minorities is the same as the one who doesn't.


liquefaction187

Sorry but he's a Republican.


ssssssim

Yeah that's what conservatives say when they don't want to come out and admit it


ratsandmcdonalds

NTA- im not sure why he is so offended by the joke? But maybe im biased bc i hate tucker carlson lol


gdddg

If he doesn't hate Tucker Carlson that is a red flag on its own


whatdowetrynow

That's the real lesson here.


supes616

NTA - Have you considered he might be into the green m&m? Maybe that's why he didn't get the joke.


banana345345

Guess I know what my next Halloween costume is 😉


supes616

And he can be Tucker Carlson.


BiggieWedge

OMG this would be a hilarious couple's costume! I just feel like there might be too much time between now and Halloween and everyone will have forgotten by then.


rhymes_with_mayo

So, what you said was a little mean. However I'm gonna say 100% NTA, your boyfriend is TA and here's why: He got mad you and your cousin were laughing together, maybe felt left out and thus ashamed. He knows this makes no sense and feels more shame. Instead of managing that emotion himself, he decides to make it your job to fix it. So he initiates the cycle of "what's funny?" "you won't like it" "tell me anyway" "ok joke was \_\_\_\_\_\_\_" \*he shoots down the joke\*. Now you both feel bad! This time you took a different step by telling him he has no sense of humor. In essence, you told him you saw the cycle and stopped it. He then pouted (another way to "punish" you for *his* emotions). He can't handle his feelings but won't ask for help, so he's doing some real "misery loves company" shit. Damn, this is exhausting just to write out. If I were you, I'd get some distance from him. I doubt it's worth it to try to untangle this pattern because that would involve him taking responsibility for his part, but since the pattern is based around *him making his emotions your responsibility*, I doubt the conversation will get too far. He sounds like he's got some emotional baggage to get through and it's not your job to fix. Oh and being all piteous and sad is a ploy to make you feel sorry for how sad and mopey he is. Don't buy it.


avekatanas

Speaking as an autistic person who needs jokes clarified to me a lot, my initial thought was that if someone said this to me it would really hurt. That being said I think bf was also rude about not thinking the video was funny, and leaving the call abruptly over this is immature. Let alone that you said he might even agree with Tucker’s sentiments on this. Yikes. (EDIT: After reading more about bf I’m changing my judgement to NTA. OP, you deserve better than a sexist dude who starts arguments over nothing.)


banana345345

I never would have made that comment to an autistic person. I couldn’t include whole conversation due to character length but he made the comparison to our favorite video game and asked me if i would be annoyed if they made all the women in the game ugly for some woke agenda.


avekatanas

Double yikes. I’m beginning to feel like this reaction was less about him not getting the joke and more about him being annoyed you were making fun of TC and don’t share his misogynistic sentiments.


torontash

Oh so it’s not that he didn’t get the joke, it’s that he’s also upset about cartoons getting less sexy. Anyone who gets angry at “woke” people for trying to make things less sexist is not someone I would want to be dating. Is this someone YOU want to continue dating?


DiTrastevere

I think your boyfriend might just be a joyless asshole. I know this kind of hypersensitive yet anti-“woke” guy. They’re just low-key angry all the time and feel like everything and everyone is making fun of them. They only feel truly safe with other angry, insecure guys who think like they do, and what little humor they possess usually involves lazy, tired jokes about women and/or LGBT+ blurted out over Xbox live. They *hate* being challenged (goes back to being afraid everyone is mocking them) which is why they resort to “both sides are dumb” dodges whenever anyone tries to get them to take a political position - they want *you* to see them as smarter than everyone for being above it all, but really they’re just protecting themselves from having their opinions scrutinized. And oh, they have opinions. They just have thin skins and no courage. It’s sad, in its way, but guys like this don’t last very long in relationships. The steps they take to protect themselves from humiliation also kill emotional intimacy in its crib. They can’t let themselves be vulnerable with their partners and would rather pick a fight than admit any weakness or ignorance. People get sick of that shit eventually, no matter how dedicated they are.


Strange_Ad_5863

Ok, your BF is definitely a Tucker Carlson fan. He was definitely passive aggressively asking why it was funny bc he agrees with and wanted to defend Ticker


swiftdegree

Let me guess, he was mad because you were making fun of TC? Is he a fan of fox news?


Low-Assistance9231

Yeah he is definitely a TC fan. He might have even seen the original clip and agreed with it so he's mad bc you're making fun of him low-key. Also anyone that says Woke Agenda is being rather obvious in their political preferences. He's a republican/conservative/libertarian and doesn't want to admit it.


super_soprano13

The tough thing is, there are a lot of us autistic folks who aren't diagnosed because the characteristics in the dsm-5 are applied so literally.


MarkedHeart

OP - from this and some of your other posts, I got one thing to say: RUN! Seriously - it doesn't sound as though he doesn't get humor, it sounds as though he rejects mocking Tucker Carlson. There's a German saying: if you're sitting at a table with ten Nazis and you don't speak out against them, there are eleven Nazis at the table. Don't become the eleventh Nazi. RUN.


gdddg

Yep. In another comment she said he used the term "woke culture". He's definitely a Tucker fan.


JulsTV

Her post history about him is scary!!! She sucks so much for being with this guy.


Guilty_BaN

NTA That whole commentary was hilarious as fuck, and it would be easy to make jokes about it. You don’t share a sense of humour; which is weird but also ok. Nobody asks comedians to explain the jokes, because it would sort of lose the spirit and be a waste of time. You should apologize for hurting his feelings though, and maybe not include him in your joking around in the future if it’s something he’s constantly questioning.


cheeseburgerwaffles

Uhhhh... post history check here. Is this the same bf that use the n word, calls gay people "fa**ots", shames you for being bi, and exhibits regular anti-semitic tendencies? If so then YTA for being around this trash.


squashhime

holy shit why am i not surprised lol classic bigot says "both sides are dumb," claims not to be a tucker or trump fan, and then goes around calling people f**s and using the n word.


CzarJulius

NTA, your BF is a loon. What's more, he *knows* he doesn't have a sense of humor and he taking that out on you. Ain't your fault he's a stick in the mud Comedy isn't a science, you can't dissect it down into little parts and analyze them, and you can't teach it to someone else.


CreepingBajeezus

Going through the comments, you BF is just a right wing Tucker Carlson stan who is getting super offended you dare laugh at him. Drop him hun.


Time_Act_3685

NTA, and not to dismiss the autism possiblity, but how conservative is your bf? My previously very smart, hilarious, and left-leaning ex unfortunately Roganed & Redpilled himself several years back, and became EXTREMELY humorless about anything like this, and would react the exact same as your bf. He understood what people were finding funny, but he would lash out BECAUSE they found it funny. So it could be that bf isn't missing the joke, he just *agrees* with Tucker. 😬 Just throwing that possibility out there. Suffice it to say, that was a big factor in why he's my ex (he did eventually come out of it, but damage was already done). ETA: after reading your other comments, this is definitely the problem. Run.


banana345345

He loves joe Rogan 😭 we disagree a lot politically.


Time_Act_3685

Welp. You see the problem, it's not going to get better, Y are being TA to yourself if you stay. Because this is just going to keep happening.


MissThirteen

Than your problem is that your bf is a right winger and was upset that you were laughing at someone on "his side". If someone says "I don't like both sides" but has some right wing beliefs than they're just right wing and he's too much of a coward to say anything.


Nistune

Your guy is 100% a right winger who is trying to hide it from you. Every single "both sides" person I have ever met, in the end, was a republican lite who voted and believed it all but knew they would face backlash from their circle from expressing it.


[deleted]

this is so true. my ex wasn't very political and acted like he was indifferent to it all. in the midst of our breakup I found out that he didn't support universal healthcare, solely because HE could afford Healthcare and didn't want HIS insurance options to get worse. I knew he was shitty but I was honestly flabbergasted that he had such an extremely ghoulish right wing opinion. guys like this are complete fakers who know that a lot of the kinds of women they're attracted to would run for the hills if they knew the truth.


allyyssaa98

NTA, he asked and you explained, then he criticized what you found funny. I can understand the joke and I’ve never seen the video. If you both don’t share the same kind of humor I can imagine it would be a dealbreaker for me. It’s not necessarily that he doesn’t have a sense of humor, he just takes everything so literal and that would ruin the vibe for me. Explaining jokes is not fun and makes the joke sound super dumb afterwards. If he doesn’t find it funny he doesn’t have to comment about it and make you continuously explain why it is humorous to you.


HavePlushieWillTalk

It's a bit of a concern that his first instinct is to turn it around and say 'what you're laughing at isn't really a joke' ad nauseum instead of accepting that you joke differently and that just because he doesn't get it doesn't make it invalid, so he was trying to convince you it wasn't funny or a joke because he didn't enjoy it. He was trying to get you to agree with him and feel ashamed you don't enjoy humour like he does, which is the right kind of humour. That's super controlling.


[deleted]

NTA but your boyfriend seems like he really likes tucker carlson.


lovelybeeeeee

There is bodily, dark, physical, self deprecating, surreal and wordplay humor. If you guys don't have at least one style sense of humor in common then he is not the one for you. A shared sense of humor is a must have.


floopydolphins

Nta. He asked you to explain and you did. If he’s a tucker fan it would make sense he got stuck up since, while conservatives love to call everyone else snowflakes, they can’t take a joke when it’s about someone on their side. If he’s not then maybe he’s just bitter he didn’t get the joke in the first place


princessstarr196

Wait is this the racist and homophobic bf from your past posts? If so I’m so sad I’ve been defending you in these comments but now I regret it because you’re just as shitty for staying with him when he’s a racist homophobe.


MarryMeDuffman

He sounds like he agrees with Tucker about the Big Gay conspiracy. Nta How do you tolerate this guy?


suzunomia

NTA, but just so you know, the M&M outrage is a deliberate bit to draw attention away from the child labor lawsuit against several major chocolate producers.


banana345345

That is exactly what my cousin said when he showed me the video


suzunomia

Yeah. It's still okay to find it funny! Just also important to know why it happened and not fall for it.


brendanl1998

NTA - I’m exhausted reading your post. This would be a dealbreaker for me. A somewhat compatible sense humor is important. Edit: Or at least he could respect that you have a different sense of humor


bmanley620

NTA but please tell him this joke which will fittingly go over his head… Why can’t you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs? Because they take everything literally 😂👮‍♀️


Opening_Register7374

NTA- Having to explain jokes in full detail like that is really annoying. Personally I don’t think what you said was really insulting or harsh. It was a little rude at the most which is honestly understandable since you told him he wouldn’t find it funny, he asked you to send it anyway, he got irritated and questioned you multiple times about the joke and made you explain it for several minutes just to tell you he didn’t think it was funny…..so it’s hard to fault you for getting a little frustrated.


PattersonsOlady

Can I just tell you from the perspective of someone with a successful, happy, long marriage … you need to share a sense of humour to be able to weather the crap that life throws at you. Maybe you can have a short term thing with someone who you don’t share a sense of humour with, but you can’t share a deep, happy, long term relationship (imo). NTA


MarryMeDuffman

Topics like this are full of comments trying to paint the OP as a person insensitive to ND people, by assuming everyone has autism until proven otherwise. It's so fucking offensive to me. You are not the asshole. You told him he wouldn't like it, he didn't, and he tried to argue with you and explain why YOU shouldn't find it funny. If he didn't get the joke, he didn't have to go on about it, ffs. You're not going to convince me that actually arguing about the content of a joke or whether someone is justified in laughing is just autism. Especially after persistently asking to see the joke in question himself. No. It's fucking obnoxious. He sounds like an arrogant asshole.


itsamecatty

Gonna guess he’s a closet Tucker Carlson fan. NTA


m4genta

NTA, sounds like he's offended you were making fun of his favorite "news" show host.


[deleted]

NTA. He didn’t get the joke and is sad and hurt that he doesn’t have a sense of humor about the joke…that was obviously a joke. His feelings are hurt? He sounds exhausting and annoying.


ohdearitsrichardiii

Is he a Tucker Carlsson fan?


NecromancyFail

NTA OP, but I think your bf is interested in the green M&M. He's protesting a bit too much /s


wuvla

lol he’s a fan of tucker and butthurt.


Cleantech2020

He is a tucker fan boy. do you want to date such a douche? NTA


Imnotawerewolf

"What if they made all the girls in video games ugly to be woke" shit tier take lol the direct implication video games would be worse of the women weren't attractive like yes society beauty standards we all wanna see attractive ppl on tv and shit but it really shouldn't upset you or anyone if there AREN'T beautiful people in the media.


Alert-Potato

>Looking back, maybe he is sensitive about this because he knows he actually doesn't have a sense of humor? I cracked up at this. I'm not sure if you meant for this to be hilarious, but it is. Also NTA


bowie-of-stars

NTA, and Tucker Carlson does jerk it to the Green M and M (but only the old one with them sexy heels)!


henscastle

NTA Sounds like he's a fan of Tucker Carlson and took offense


rhunter99

Nta. Two possibilities : you’re dating a rabid conservative or maybe he’s on the spectrum.


x4ty2

Your boyfriend is a dumbbutt who wants to have sex with the m&m. He's not good for you. Why are you still with him?


Murntok

"Both sides are dumb" = I hold hypocritical, bigoted right wing views, but I don't have the guts to stand by my convictions, so I lie to people, that way I don't have to experience the consequences I deserve.


flax97

NTA but how can you have a relationship with someone you don't share a similar sense of humor with? (Genuine question)


themingowman

NTA. This is frustratingly similar to a situation I have with my cousin--he doesn't get anything. Mostly, it's a lack of paying attention.


Drewherondale

NTA they ARE trying to make the green m&m less of a material gworl, and for what??? Could your bf be on the autism spectrum? If he takes everything so literally?


Dripping_sauces

NTA. I was literally cackling my ass off when I read about this yesterday. I think it’s freaking hilarious. You and your cousin interpreted it 100% correctly and your BF either a) secretly likes Tucker and agrees with him or b) has 0 sense of humor. Both are red flags so run.


tasareinspace

NTA. So, I’m autistic. And I get all the comments being “maybe he’s autistic!!” But you can in fact be autistic and still an asshole. And if he doesn’t understand why something is funny, as an adult, he should have learned by now to just chalk it up to non-autistic people being fucking weird and just let it go. The fact that he clung onto this indicates there’s something going on here where he actively didn’t want YOU to find it funny and that’s weird.


Abundleofjoyx

NTA what people find funny is subjective to that person, your boyfriend does seem a bit boring though, having to put you down for laughing at what you find funny.


L_MACC

NTA. I had an ex that was like that, but with EVERYTHING. I’d laugh about something, he’d want me to explain in detail. I’d say I love this song, he’d want me to give this whole explanation why. I said I thought he looked nice that day, he’d want to know specifically why. Like…. Just let me enjoy things without having to write you a fucking essay every single time.


DinoBabyMama21

NTA. Don't ask to join in on a joke if you can't take a joke. And you should never have to defend what you find funny!


geven87

"My boyfriend said “then why did you say that he literally said he was turned on by the m&m??” NTA, but if you did use the word literally, then i can understand why your boyfriend was confused. that's not what the word literally is used for. it means you were not joking, that you were serious. you probably didn't use the word however. why would your bf say that you said so?


albionpeej

I'm afraid I have to disagree with you. I think Tucker did have a thing for the M&M.