AITA - I took my friend's cats to a boarding kennel after she dropped them at my house.
By - EsmerldaWeatherwax
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
I think I might be the arsehole because instead of looking after my friend's cat, I took it to a boarding kennel. I don't like animals and have little to no experience looking after them but she had to cut her to short and come home because she couldn't pay the boarding fees.
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NTA and I would have reported her to animal welfare as well.
Same tbh she sounds like a horrendous pet owner
True, and I’m shocked *any* of the cat lovers in the friend group are defending a cat owner who keeps a cat in these conditions. Why couldn't he cat owner ask one of them for help?
As a cat owner, I'd be tearing her a new one. You don't ask someone to cat sit without planning for food and such, you don't leave your house if the litter is full and there's no water. How long was she gone for the house to be in that state, do they just live in filth?! Poor cat is going to develop renal issues.
She should also only plan a trip if she can factor in the costs of a cat sitter, stocking the house and possible vet emergencies.
Mine is a professional who comes in every other day and costs me a 100 of my own currency per day (20 something dollars). I've planned monthly trips before knowing there was going to be a significant added cost. That's just how it goes when you have a pet.
I also wouldn't invite the cat hating friend to come in, as they likely wouldn't play with the poor understimulated and lonely cat properly. OP's friend sucks on several levels.
Seriously! You plan ahead. My grandma always minds our cats when we go on holliday and we mind hers. We've been doing it for years, but still every year we visit before one of us leaves and we run everything through: how much food and when, where the bowls are, where the water is, emergency money for vet costs if something happens. Food and treats are bought ahead of time. I feel awful enough leaving my pets and going on holliday because you know they miss you, but I make sure they're well cared for
Yes! Found it surreal they didn't plan a pre-trip visit for the friend to show where everything is located. Makes me suspect she either disregards her cat's needs often enough it didn't even compute or she was totally aware she was out of supplies and hoping OP would just shoulder on the work of going to get them and figure everything out themselves as she couldn't be arsed.
She left for a camping trip. That’s not something that typically gets planned last minute, especially if it’s for two weeks. She should’ve had plenty of time to clean up her cats, make sure there’s water, and stock up on food. So something is definitely up if she couldn’t do those very basic necessities for her precious cats.
When it comes to the cat sitting, either she did ask around but got asked to pay for their time, or she was hoping to trap OP for two weeks because OP is known to look after animals in an emergency.
Considering she lied she’d only be gone for a day or two and suggested OP ‘go to the shops’, it definitely points to the latter.
NTA OP and I hope you explained the condition you found those cats in to your cat lover friends. If they still don’t see the real problem then that’s their issue, not yours.
I reckon she called OP when she had already been away for a few days if the litter was overflowing abd there was no food or water left. Which is just incomprehensible to me.
It's very rare I run out of food even if I'm home as I buy the big 15kg bags (30ish pounds?) and get a new one when the old is down about two thirds of the way. If I was wanting someone to cat sit I'd make sure to have double the amount just in case. This comes across like the friend legit has her cat's existing in squalor.
Yeah, quite possible. I had wondered if she just threw down all the food she had and then called OP when she thought it would have run out. Either way, poor cat.
I do the same...except we have it delivered on a schedule through Amazon. We never run out and we're getting our money's worth in free shipping from the Prime account so someone else is getting paid to lug around the giant bag of food. Do the same with litter. It's lifechanging.
I live a block and a half away from a 24h pet store, so I usually just buy food and litter on different days and lug it myself! It's a bit uncomfortable, but def good exercise hahah
Some people are really that dumb.
I used to be friends with a guy that planned a trip out of state over the xmas holidays. I was speaking to him a few days after he left, and asked what he ended up arranging for his cat.
Guy went dead silent. He had completely forgotten about his cat. *How* you can forget about your pet is beyond me. My cat is my best friend. Some people don't deserve pets.
Luckily he was able to find someone to go round and feed the poor thing.
I can't imagine. Leaving them really stresses me out.
Literally planning ahead for your pets is the most important thing to do when going away! One time I was leaving town on a road trip with my dogs but had arranged for my mom to care for our cat at our place everyday and the only thing I ran out of time to plan ahead for was buying extra food for my cat and I had never felt so guilty in my life! Of course my mom had no problem going to the store and buying the right food, which I sent her photos of so the cat would get his favorite flavors, but I still felt so bad that I hadn’t made the time to do it myself!
My boss commented that their cat's litter box is always stinky so they shoved it in the basement where they can more or less forget about it.
I was 0% surprised when the cat ran away one day. Cats aren't dogs - they will absolutely rehome themselves.
Honestly? We love our cat, buy her premium food, and make sure she has toys, automated cat box, and special cat beds, but.... I still half expect her to rehome herself one day.
There was a parade last week that went by our house, and she got out without me noticing. Afterwards, I found her curled up with a 5 year old in his wagon while his parents were loading their van and trying to figure out what to do about my cat.
When she saw me, she gave the boy a last cuddle, hopped out, and walked up to the front door to wait for me to open it, but she was definitely trying out another family since the option was there.
I used to freak out because my cats disappeared for several hours every day. It turned out they were scaling the fence to hang out in the neighbor's yard every day. Sweet elderly couple; they bought food and water bowls for them and treated them like very welcome guests.
I accidentally lock one of mine (she's curious, the other one is terrified of anything beyond my apartment) out in the corridor every now and then. It's usually not a big problem because the stairwell door is kept locked and I usually notice pretty fast, but the other day my doorbell rang very unexpectedly and, when I opened it, she was there by herself! hahaha.
I think I'd have a heart attack if I lost her in a parade! I'm glad you found your little rascal!
She *really* likes people, particularly children. (Two year olds... Not so much).
Funny cat was totally chill in that little boy's lap and didn't fuss about the crowds still dispersing around us until she saw me. If she'd been upset or scared, I probably would have been really worried. But unexpectedly seeing her outside and totally calm in the midst of all those people just made me laugh.
I have 5 cats. Their litter boxes don't stink because I scoop them at least twice a day. Is it a pain? Yeah. But that's what I signed up for when I became a pet owner. This morning I found a blanket with puke on it. Gross, but it's in the washer now. Because that's what you do. Side note, 4 of my cats are still kittens that I found in my basement at 3 weeks old. I had to bottle feed them round the clock and stimulate them to poop or pee afterwards. I gave them full on baths every night because they couldn't groom themselves yet. So, what I do to care for them now that they're almost 5 months old is nothing compared to that.
i also have 5 cats. and yeah you scoop litter at least every day, i have 2 automatic feeders that each drop food 3 times a day, and we have 4 large water fountains to make sure they have water. they have cat towers and toys. if i want to take a vacation it’s typically only a night, if it’s longer my in laws will check in on them since they live close by. lately i haven’t been able to do trips because one of the cats we recently discovered is diabetic so i have to be around to give him insulin. you take on the responsibility of a pet you have to make sure their quality of life is on par or better than yours
I have 3 big cats, and 1 automatic litter box. It cycles the poop into a tray after each cat has used it so it's fresh each time. Pricy to get, but I use far less litter, it massively reduces the smells, no scooping, and I only have to replace the bag every 2-3 days. Highly recommend.
Well, she lied about why she needed help and also about how long she would be gone. That would be the end of the friendship for me because she purposely set OP up to do it for over 2 weeks for a vacation. The fact that she also expected OP to buy everything and clean the litter, it is so over the top that I would be angry at her and rethink the friendship as she's quite the user. NTA.
The problem is she did plan for food and such. She planned on OP paying for it.
Exactly. I once went on a weeklong trip and trusted my cat to a roommate. I returned to find my cat had no food in her bowl. I ripped that roommate a new asshole. He claimed she gobbled the night prior but he never watched her again. She was thankfully healthy and alright.
It sounds like she was trying to trick op into not only watching her cat for longer than they would have a greed but also into paying for the food for the cat.
Same. As a cat owner unless OP isn't sharing the full details I would be furious at the friend for leaving her cat under those conditions.
I am not the biggest cat fan - but my 4 yo is so well...we have 5 (first one was hers, the other four are kittens from pregnant moms dumped at my farm...after fixing everyone and rehoming the four weren't able to find new homes so we kept them). I love my dogs so we have 3.
I would never, ever, ever let our cats get to those conditions - especially if I had someone coming to watch them! We have the standard litter box (well...rubbermaid tub with hole in lid to keep the dogs out + cheaper) per cat plus one...which means I scoop out 6 cat boxes a day. Their self feeder at the top of their cat tree is always full - because I'm sorry feeding 5 cats separately 2x a day isnt feasible because they're all different sizes and I just dont have the space to do so without the dogs getting to it. Thankfully they all keep each other quite entertained so if I do have to be gone no one has to entertain the cats, just check on them once a day to make sure their boxes are scooped and feed the dogs/check the animals outside because the dogs have a dog door.
You always plan ahead if you have animals. You dont just leave for two weeks and you always make sure theres plenty of supplies and everything is ready. Especially if its for a friend doing you a favor!
I know, right?
I have a cat. If I leave home, he either goes to a kennel, or my upstairs neighbors take care of him—we swap pet sitting duties because they have three cats and a parrot.
I sometimes go away overnight and leave the cat alone and don’t have anyone check on him. But I put out two extra water bowls and an extra bowl of kibble and an extra litter box, just in case something weird happens and I don’t get home on time. Heck, he has two water bowls all the time, just in case he knocks one over.
No cat should have to suffer with a full litter box. If it is pooping on the floor, something is wrong—box too full, cat is sick, behavioral problems.
Do your friends know that this person hadn’t even cleaned their litter box and there was no food?
They would change their mind so fast.
I would have taken pictures and shown everyone.
Same. It makes my blood boil. You can’t say you love cats and be ok with them being neglected.
Not a cat owner but I love cats and do know how to take care of them, and I would have done the same thing. Reasons why OP is NTA and any sane person would have done the same thing:
1. OP was told it was for two days tops, not 2 weeks.
2. The friend didn’t even bother to clean the litter ox before she left, for what sounds like a couple of days. That’s just rude and disrespectful to the person taking care of the cat.
3. Friend left no supplies for the cat and expect OP to pay out of pocket for an animal they are not responsible for.
Any rational person, despite any and all feelings towards animals, would have noped the eff out of that craziness, but I would have called a shelter, not a boarding place.
Hell, that’s rude and disrespectful to the cat!
Oh yeah. I once left my cat at a cattery and he rubbed his face bald on the caging (it was a huge pen but apparently not big enough). I have never felt so guilty. Now I have people come in and wait on him hand and foot. I wouldn't be friends with someone who behaved like this.
Exactly! I am a cat lover and owner and would have made sure I had safe plans for watching my cat. Why ask someone who doesn't like cats. And I'd be grateful they didn't just let my cat starve because I was too selfish to buy food for my own animal!!!
NTA, and no way in heck should a cat owner have left their feline like that. That's gross and unfair to the animal. And I say that as a previous owner of cats.
She had zero right to do that to you. And if her other cat lover friends were around, why didn't she ask them?? No, she dumped this on you to prove something to the friend group, it sounds like. I'd dump her as a friend. You actually did the kind thing for her cat.
I bet the cat was left alone for some time, before she remembered to call OP
Well that just made me extra sad.
Me too! SO many strikes! She leaves nothing for the cat, leaves the cat in squalor, expects you to pick up the tab, LIES about how long she's going to be gone. No, real cat lovers would not accept this. But it's likely that she lied to the rest of teh friend group. NTA.
The fact that she didn't contact the cat lovers in her friend group is very telling...
She knew that they would loose thier shit at the sate that poor animal was kept in.
"I love my cat so much that I'm going to ask my friend with the darkest, animal-hating heart to watch my beloved companion."
... then blame her when she notices how badly I've been treating my cat.
She could have asked everyone to sit a day or two and if they couldn't come one day the cats would be fine. She Chose to be weird.
Riiiiiight? When my brother and SIL went on vacation, they asked me, their closest crazy cat lady, to come by and take care of their cat. You don't ask someone who doesn't even like animals to take care of yours unless you have absolutely no other options.
Those prople are fucked up. OP, the one who claims not to like cats, was treating that poor cat better than its owner and oviously cared more about its wellbeing. The condition she describes needs at least days of neglect. Disgusting behaviour, that person doesn't deserve to be a pet owner. NTA.
In the U.S. there isn't anyone to report to in most places. Some larger urban areas might have local versions but most don't. Some shelters or the humane society will try to get the owner to willingly give up an abused animal but there isn't much they can legally do. If the abuse is really egregious the police can intervene but that is in extreme cases.
OP still has time to report the animal abuse.
Absolutely NTA. Not liking animals doesn't make you a bad person. It does mean you have insight into your own abilities (or lack thereof). You made a sensible, rational decision in the best interest of the cat. Your friend is rude and entitled, though. What a scummy thing to do to leave you with a cat in that condition. You could also report them to whatever your equivalent of the RSPCA is.
NTA- Animal lover here, and I don’t judge you at all for not liking animals. They are not for everyone. I am incredibly shocked by the manner your friend left her cat in. Also, for her to say, oh, by the way, it’s actually two weeks is really uncool. I feel like you did a really nice thing by finding a place to watch her cat. She doesn’t deserve her cat. It’s obvious she’s not responsible for it. If anyone is the a-hole here, it’s your friend for the treatment of her cat and how she deceived you.
I want to know if those friends know the whole story. No food or water upon entering, zero supplies for the cat and suddenly told it would be 2 weeks. If I was this person's friend I would be on OPs side and shaming my friend for neglecting their cat.
Exactly! Seems like OP, who doesn’t like animals, still had more respect for the cat’s wellbeing than the owner.
As an animal lover, I gotta say OP did better by that cat than its actual owner did. At least at boarding it should be in a clean environment and have access to food and water.
NTA. It's common courtesy when asking someone to cat sit to leave them with a clean litter box and enough litter and food to last the time away. It's also a recommended to leave a list of emergency numbers and some cash in case the sitter needs to buy supplies. Last, unless you regularly pet sit for the person whose pet sitting for you, offer to pay your sitter a nominal fee every day. Even if it's a good friend.
Source: Me. I'm a pet owner. Have been for years.
Pet owner here too, not only that do NOT trick someone who doesn't like pets to begin with by falsely claiming emergency when its a trip for fun.
She cried wolf, and next time she actually DOES have an emergency, people might not trust it.
I've pet sit and yeah the owners leave meds, food, beds, vet numbers, and pay me...
I pet sit for friends, and they always ask well in advance and leave everything I need.
I refuse to take any money, personal choice as I like the pets, but sometimes I get little presents instead.
Everyone I’ve ever pet sat for has left twice as much food/litter than necessary just in case. Some people even leave a credit card in case there is a medical emergency or the food runs out.
I refuse money but accept wine.
Yup. I’m having a friend pet sit for me soon for an extended amount of time. I’m already calculating how much food I have to buy so she won’t have to even go to a store while I’m gone, though with instructions and money to cover more of my math is off. Damn. I’ll have to buy a few boxes of litter too.
I leave my cat with like a month of supplies if I'm leaving for a couple of weeks, especially since travelling rn is a bit iffy at best and airports and borders can close at the drop of a hat.
I am not a cat person but have cat-sat for friends/neighbours from time to time. I’ve never had anyone not provide supplies that are easy to find (food tins in an obvious spot, new litter near the trays etc), written instructions & emergency contact details.
It’s common courtesy and common sense.
I had a family emergency and had to drop my dog off with a friend for a bit - I realized later I did not leave enough food for the pup. I immediately called, apologized and asked her if it would be easier for me to Venmo money to cover pet food or to order it and have it delivered to her house. She laughed at me, but I would NEVER leave someone to take care of a pet without making sure it was as easy as possible. And the reason she laughed is cuz she would do the exact same we’re the roles reversed.
And no pet deserves to live with a house that smells like piss and shit. No living creature deserves that. I would call an animal welfare person on them.
I cat sit regularly for friends. They leave enough food and litter, cash for pizza etc, plus open season on anything in the cupboards and their considerable wine stash. I’m also authorised to put anything necessary on their account at the vet, and make decisions up to and including the last one. I’ve taken care of all of their cats, from naughty kittens through lazy middle age and into reluctant pill-taking old age. They know they can relax because cats are happy and taken care of, and I get a break from home that comes with furballs. I’d be happy to do it without the pizza money and wine, but if they weren’t making any provision for the cats, this would have stopped a long time ago.
NTA - you should have taken the cat in to the pound; she ovbs can’t be a good pet owner. She is failing the cat. And is a terrible “friend” and selfish person.
I did seriously consider it. But they are a kill shelter and, no matter how I feel about cats, it didn't deserve to be condemned. In hindsight, the cat rescue place might have been a better option. I kind of panicked, though. Didn't really think things through.
You did nothing wrong. Your choices were to either give her cat away (she doesn’t deserve a cat) or to ensure she still has a cat that will be taken care of. You chose the latter. Hopefully she’ll learn from this interaction that pet care has a cost/price and that she can’t just bully people into doing it for free!
You did the right thing. You made sure the cat was immediately cared for. It’s probably for the best that you didn’t try and remove it from her yourself, pets are considered property so taking someone’s pet just because *you* think it isn’t cared for could be considered theft. Removing a pet is a decision best made by the professionals so you could have called them, but is the cat fairly happy and healthy and this is the first time you’ve seen the pet being neglected, or did there seem to be a long history of poor care?
I’m amazed at what I’ve seen people get away with on tv before finally having their pets taken; unless it’s extreme neglect (like pets that have obviously been starved for a length of time) they tend to give people at least one second chance.
There is no reason to punish the cat because its owner is a gaping ah. The OP did the right thing taking it to a kennel.
Honestly letting the cat stay with it's terrible owner is a punishment. Rehoming the cat would probably be the best case scenario, although I don't think OP made a bad call, especially if the shelters aren't no-kill
Rehoming a cat that isn't yours could open up a whole can of (illegal) worms and lead to a lot of trouble for OP. I'd advocate for calling animal welfare, but not for giving away a cat that isn't yours to give.
I don't disagree with that at all! I just disagree that rehoming the cat would be "punishing" the cat
NTA - That sounds like harmful neglectful and she tried to trick you into taking care of her cat for TWO WEEKS when she couldn't even bother to provide the bare necessities for her own pet.
Also, frozen mice usually aren't for cats? Does your friend perhaps own a snake or some other reptile?
I am an ABSOLUTE cat lover, and those conditions sound appalling, and trying to trick you like that in the first place is what makes her an AH, but she's a bigger AH because of the poor way she treats her animal.
I had to go back and check my post. It was beef mince, not mice. I did get a bit of a chuckle out of the idea of her keeping mice in the freezer...and then went "eww, yucky" in my head.
ROFL! TBH, as both a snake and a cat owner, I deal with feeding frozen mice to a snake. Sorry though, it's late and I misread. XD
Funny though but thanks for the clarification. Sorry for the misread. Doesn't have any change on the verdict and thank you for trying to look after the kitty by taking it to a kennel when you couldn't deal with it.
Wow, I also read mice! Lol
Mince = ground beef for the Americans in the audience.
INFO if you have cat lovers in your friend group who thought it was a great opportunity, why didn't they care for the cats?
I’m going to guess that Bad Friend didn’t call them because she knew they’d be super upset about the conditions the cat was in. Betting she called OP because she figured that a person who doesn’t like animals wouldn’t care.
Wouldn't be surprised if she twisted the story either.
THIS! She knew that the cat lovers in the group would hit the roof after seeing the cat lives in such terrible conditions and they would most likely call Anima Welfare and report her for having a cat that was living in such a horrible environment. She's an idiot but she's no dummy creating a situation like this. I feel so bad for this guy, he got played by OP and he's in a position he doesn't deserve to be in.
For real. Just tell all your stupid friends that if you love it so much you do it. If your camping friend can't ask any of the *many many* people who think caring for a cat is an "opportunity" she deserves to have her vacation ruined. She wasn't stuck in a bad situation, she fabricated one through an elaborate plan to ensure the worst scenario happened.
Probably because they were not asked
Omg wow, what a terrible friend! She delibertly took advantage of your generosity. And despite what she says, she didn't care about her cat. She left with the cat's needs unmet. And expected, you, a pet free person to rescue her. You might consider dumping her and anyone who supports her out of your friend group.
I'd say she'd already been away for a couple of days before she phoned you to check on the cat. That is disgraceful behaviour!
It wouldn't surprise me in the least! This woman is not a good human at all.
NTA. I'd make it clear to your friend group from here on out that if they want you taking care of their pets, they need to let you know *all the details* in advance. How long they're going to be gone, if they have the proper supplies bought to help you care for them, etc, and if you walk into unfavorable conditions again, take photos to show your friend what you walked into. It's bullshit you were thrown into that with them assuming it was okay.
You said your friend group was divided?
What exactly was the argument against you for why you should clean up what sounds like weeks of feces?
I don't need it for judgement, just curious.
The cat lovers think I did the wrong thing by taking it to the boarding kennel. They said that moving the cat would be stressful for it and that I should have just sucked it up and gone over every day. And that I could have called then to ask for advice. None of them were willing to go over and look after it, though.
Hey, as a cat lover, like a seriously crazy cat lady cat lover: you did the right thing.
You put the pet in conditions that ensured it would be looked after. You don't even like pets and you still did your best to make sure that animal would be okay. You could have just walked away, but you stuck it out until the cat was safe and communicated with the cats owner in the process.
You're a good friend and I don't think your friends deserve you if this is how they're responding.
Thank you. This is what I needed to hear. I was worried I'd traumatised the poor thing by moving it around. I had to put it in a box and drive it for 20 minutes then left it with people it didn't know. But I made sure it was reputable and it looked really nice. Also, when I went in, it didn't smell bad and there were employees playing with the dogs. It had a really nice vibe. It was clean and all the animals looked well cared for.
So, cats do get stressed out by being taken away from their homes. They're kind of like little kids when they have to go to daycare for the first time, but they're like that every time. But the thing is, if the cat is fed, given somewhere warm to curl up, and a place to do it's business, and eventually goes back home, they'll probably be fine. The experience will be a mild annoyance at best to most cats. Unpleasant, but not the end of the world.
Some owners always board their pets, my stepfamily does that, their cats are fine. Our cats wouldn't be, but I also wouldn't be dumping my pet on someone who explicitly doesn't like pets and lying to them about it. My cats are my babies, I can't go anywhere without making sure I have someone to watch them properly first. That's just life when you have pets. You don't leave a toddler at home to go camping without organizing a sitter first either!
Your friend dropped the ball, you made sure the cat would be looked after. Please don't feel guilty for a second. If I had a friend who would take my cat to a kennel in an emergency for me, I'd be baking them a cake to say thank you for ensuring my cat was safe for me.
My sister has 2 rescue cats, and we were discussing recently what if they were put into boarding kennels. One would be unhappy but cope once he figured that food existed. The other however, we are not actually sure that she would survive, as when she is stressed(and it doesn't take much for her), she doesn't eat. She's already an undersized cat, permanently looking like a teen at best, and getting her up to proportionate weight was a challenge over the last year or two. Getting someone to come over twice a day is the least stressful, and probably cheapest option in her case. Thankfully I now live only 20mins away, so I'm the first option, and they are familiar enough with me.
You say you dont like animals ( which is fine) but believe me you treated that cat a lot more humanely than its owner did. Leaving it ALONE long enough to result in this?
"The litter tray was full. There was cat poo on the floor. There was no food in the house and no water in the bowl. The stench as I entered made me retch."
And she was going to be gone for another two weeks? She expected you to clean up that mess AND pay for cat food and kitty litter? Getting that cat to a kennel was way preferable than leaving it in that environment. Your "friend" is a lousy pet owner and she deserves to lose her cat.
You’re a good person.
You did well by the cat.
More so than the cat’s shitty owner.
I’d send everyone a message stating exactly what you were greeted with when you got to her house and her response. That you had agreed to 2 days and she then said 2 weeks. You could see the cat had been neglected and could have easily reported her and had to cat taken in but instead you found a reputable boarding kennel.
If anyone has a black heart..it’s the poor cat’s owner.
fuck them, seriously. i hope you called out their hypocrisy to their faces.
I was a little short with them!
Granny Weatherwax short or regular short?
Alas, I don't think I could manage Granny-level scathing. I DID tell them that I thought they were hypocritical (rude word rude word rude word).
GNU Terry Pratchett
Well if none of them were willing to go over and care for the cat, then why should you have to?
If they weren't willing to do it then they don't get a say. Taking the cat to a boarding kennel is less stressful then the conditions it was left in by its owner. I love cats - you did more for that poor cat than it's owner.
Your friends are hypocritical a**holes.
I love cats as do my friends. We love animals and we would have RIPPED into your “friend” for pulling this shit and told you that you did the right thing. I’m sure we’d even offer to take the cat in.
NTA coming from somebody who literally has their cat in their profile picture. Your „friend“ is both a terrible friend and a terrible pet owner.
NTA two days does not turn into two weeks and she should have left food, cat supplies and had a clean litter tray. She’s a bad cat owner!
NTA. Good boundaries and that was actually a fair and reasonable response to an unreasonable situation.
NTA - that’s super messed up for her to *trick* you into babysitting her cat for TWO WHOLE WEEKS!! Especially when she claimed it was an emergency when it clearly wasn’t. A good pet owner would have at the very least left you the supplies to take care of the animal, it’s starting to sound like you- as someone that doesn’t even like cats- would be better at taking care of that cat than your friend.
You definitely made the right decision, she had no right to dump that on you and she clearly doesn’t actually care about her pet that much.
NTA. As a cat lover, this is animal abuse. Filled tray w/ no food & water. That is cruel and I couldn’t be friends w/ someone like that.
NTA - I love this "The cat lovers don't understand how I wouldn't want this opportunity" and yet, none them were available...
NTA I'm an animal lover and the condition she left her cat in is deplorable. She's damn lucky you didn't contact animal services and take pictures for documentation on how horrid the conditions were. I have a full house of fur babies and I never leave them without food, water, litter, or the other essentials, which includes people who had ample time to commit to caring for my babies.
She obviously doesn't care about her cat and shouldn't have any pets if she can't give them the necessities of living.
She got mad when she couldn't use you like she wanted. And what a horrible pet owner, to not have food, clean water and a clean litter box on the day she left. That poor animal. I'd have been calling animal control for neglect, not a boarding facility. Selfish something or other (and I absolutely adore animals, but what she did to you was WRONG).
NTA - if your “friend” didn’t think she was in the wrong, why didn’t she mention she would be gone for two weeks on a trip that was not urgent?
I absolutely love cats, and there would be hell to pay if I found someone who claimed they had an emergency was actually going camping for two weeks, and left their cats no food or water.
I would lecture them until their ears blistered off, and I doubt my friendship would survive this. Animal abusers don’t deserve their animals, and this borders on it, depending on how long they were without food or water. No matter what, this was irresponsible and inconsiderate of them.
I’m a little more lenient about the litterbox conditions because I have two fussy cats who can almost fill them in a day and get dingleberries that drop on the floor after they poo. I have one cat I need to regularly trim up to prevent that, and does he ever hate scissors or a shaver near his behind.
But if there were full nasty poops all over the ground, then they definitely deserve a better owner than they have
NTA, i'm a cat person but this really isn't about the cats. She lied to you both about the reason for needing you to help and the duration she'd be gone. Then she expected you to foot the bill for food and litter. This is not about the cats, the fact that there are pets involved makes this worse but this is not about the cats.
As a cat Momma to five adorable lovebugs, NTA. You're right. A truly heartless person would have let the poor thing starve. You took the time to defrost it done food, make sure it had water, look up a kennel that takes cats AND is reputable, and made sure kitty was cared for. If only those who claim to loce their animals cared as much as you did, when you admit you don't like them.
Good on you, op
Edit: cat tax of my younger two
[link and little sister tobi](https://scontent-ort2-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/fr/cp0/e15/q65/231501136_2865891820290438_468292357852212312_n.jpg?_nc_cat=102&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=110474&efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&_nc_ohc=mFRFLwJ10W0AX_Z1a8v&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-2.xx&oh=ac5027536721c89816a7289fffab024d&oe=614DDDFD)
NTA and she is a lousy pet owner. The conditions you describe are not of a single day of being away. She probably left them there to fend for themselves a few days prior to asking you. That is evil and that would make me think SHE doesn't like her cats. And not having food around the house? Suspicious AF! Something smells fishy here and it is neither you, nor your attitude. Cut this person out of your life. She is not a good friend, nor a good human. Everyone who sided with her, tell them the condition you found the house, the litter and the cats and if they still side with her, cut them off as well. Nothing good will come from having them in your life
NTA. I’m an animal lover - and you are SO NTA for what you did!! She should not have tricked you into watching her cat for so long or left you woefully unprepared. She sounds like an awful pet owner and a bad friend
i absolutely love animals. but you are still NTA
The "friend" and i use this term losely, is a horrible pet owner. No petowner that i know would even consider just taking off without having everything in place for their furbaby.
my brother and sister in law regularily take off on holidays which they can only do and are only willing to do when i take care of their cats. They know i love their little furbabies and they know i take good care of them, and all the other critters they take care off (Hedgehogs in the garden, foxes, stray cats, and wild birds that they're feeding)
For any friend of yours who's calling you cold hearted, just ask them if they would just take off without leaving food, water and someone to take care of their pet. If they love their pets they wouldn't.
NTA two weeks? As a cat lover I’m horrified. 1) I don’t know why she wants to leave her cat with someone who doesn’t like them 2) she’s gone for two weeks?
I would would have taken him home and she would never get the cat back but that’s cat lovers, the kennel was excellent. You made sure the cat was safe and fed then offered to take them to somewhere he could be cared for. You did nothing wrong and you are def NTA
Cat lover here, and holy forkballs does she need to not have a cat. You did more than fine.
Yeah. Op claim she doesn't like animals but she is the only one caring for the well-being of the cat in this situation.
She seems like a responsible person and a good friend.
NTA. As a cat owner, I'm horrified by her actions. With one cat in the house, you do not get a same-day full litter tray and dry water bowl. Even on hot days, my cat won't drink a full water bowl in one day, and she poops about once per day (she sometimes skips a day, occasionally goes twice in one day, but it's generally a solid routine of once during the night!). Even allowing for differences in individuals, cats don't pass solids as often as dogs do, and that litter tray was left for a long while. Either your friend routinely neglects her cat, or she left for the camping trip several days before and only remembered to ask you to cat-sit belatedly. Both possibilities are neglect to the point of animal cruelty, and I cannot believe the other animal owners in your friends group are supporting her on this!
Also, even without the disgusting conditions of her litter tray (no wonder the poor thing had resorted to crapping on the floor!) and the lack of food and water, and expecting you to buy supplies (WTF?!), it is never OK to lie about emergencies and how long you'll be away in order to coerce someone into looking after your pet.
It is completely OK to not like cats and it is bizarre that your cat-loving friends are holding their ground on "but you should embrace the opportunity" or whatever. I love cats dearly, but they are not for everyone - their psychology is not human and unlike dogs, they don't pretend to be human or try to fit in with humans; they are what they are and make no apologies.
(My sister (who likes dogs and hamsters) did me the favour of offering to look after my cat for a week once, and when I came back she said "never again"! And I accepted it. Because of course it's her choice. ...And also on a pragmatic level, because it's to both parties' benefit to have the cat stay with someone that isn't stressed out about it.)
NTA 2 days vs 2 weeks. Jesus some people are entitled.
Disliking animals doesn't make someone an asshole. Mistreating animals, however, does make someone an asshole. Your friend tried to take advantage of your kindness, and neglected her pets in the process. She's squarely TA.
I mean yeah, it's a little off-putting that you don't like animals but NTA, she sounds like an irresponsible pet owner.
Minding a pet is not for everyone, I've cat and dog-sat before and it it's a lot of work and I LOVE animals.
The cat lovers are on her side even after hearing she has no food for them, full litter box, dirty floors, and nonfresh water? Wth. Not this cat lover. NTA.
I guess I'll ask the question everyone else is ignoring:
At what point in this story did your friend drop her cats at your house (as the title says)?
cat lover here. you're NTA
How can friend just went on a trip without telling you the truth for how long and even preparing food/water/clean sand for her cat? You are doing good. You looked for a boarding kennel for her cat, not bailed on that poor cat. Honestly, you're better than her.
SHE _LIED_ to you. She was hoping to emotionally blackmail you into minding her cat for _two weeks_ after you’d only agreed to two days. She picked you on purpose because she was going to use your “hatred” against animals as a leverage to guilt you. Why didn’t she ask any of her friends who do love pets? Because they would have been appalled by the kind of pet owner she is. You don’t run off on a camping trip before making sure the cat is going to be okay! The camping trip isn’t a sudden emergency, she absolutely had time to buy food and cat litter before she went!
You absolutely did the right thing making sure her cat was in the hands of people who could and would take care of it. If she can’t afford to provide proper care of her cat in her absence, she shouldn’t go on two weeks camping trips! That’s cruel to the cat!
Not liking animals and not caring about them are two different things. You're a caring and responsible person who made sure the cat was safe.
Your friend may "like" the idea of animals, but she clearly does not *care* about the welfare of her own cat. Seriously so full of BS to call you black hearted after what she pulled.
"The cat lovers don't understand how I wouldn't want this opportunity."
As a cat lover, the opportunity to clean up cat shit, and have to go grocery shopping for somebody else's cat does not seem like something I would want.
Also, she first said it was a couple of days, and then it was a couple of weeks? NTA.
Absolutely NTA. I have two cats and I completely understand that some of my close friends just do not like cats. I do a full house clean before they come over so there's no cat hair around and the litter is always replaced as close to their arrival time as possible. I also would never ask these friends to catsit, even if they offered out of politeness.
Any time someone does need to catsit the same protocol applies: replaced clean litter and completely clean house. Cat food is well stocked and clearly labelled for them to access.
I'm shocked the cat lovers in your friendship group are okay with your friend's neglectful treatment of her pets. She planned a trip for *two weeks* without making any arrangements for her pets! I'm planning a 5 day trip in December and the only thing I've done so far is reach out to boarding kennels, I haven't booked my own flights until I know the kennel is suitable, safe, and booked! She's a terrible pet owner and super neglectful.
She should not be a cat owner (or any domestic animal owner) to begin with, if she clearly can't even provide the poor thing with food and water.
I’m a cat lover and I DO understand why you didn’t want that “opportunity”. She lied to you about the duration, didn’t clean up the litter box for what sounds like a couple days at minimum, and didn’t provide food but expected you to. I bet she wasn’t intending on paying you back either.
Fuck that. She’s not a friend, she’s a liar and a mooch. NTA
Absolutely NTA. I'd dump your friend and the others who say you're in the wrong too. I have 4 cats and 2 snakes and I'd never go on a camping trip that long without someone having here who I know is comfortable enough to handle my pets. They're living things and not everyone can do this. Especially that long. I really can't understand how people can do this. If you don't have the money for a sitter or kennel than you don't go on vacations. Pretty easy.
I love cats.
Any time I have spent days away from home, I have found a boarding kennel. I have never left my cats without food and if I couldn't book them into a kennel, I certainly wouldn't leave them with someone who doesn't like cats, without any supplies.
She likely thought it would be hilarious to force you to clean a litter tray and spend money on an animal you dislike. Well, it's not so funny now, is it?
If the mutual friends are divided, why weren't the cat lovers in the group asked? They should be horrified - at her!
NTA: I have two cats and I would never do what your friend did. I’m a little anxious about leaving mine so I make sure they’re all set with their water fountains, clean litter boxes, food, etc before I leave even IF I have someone checking in on them. It’s one thing if she had told you she was going to be gone two weeks and you agreed to check in on the cat every few days to make sure it had food, water, clean litter but LYING and telling you after the fact is cruel to you and unfair to the cat. I personally think you did an amazing thing finding a reputable and (pretty cheap) boarding place. I think you need to reevaluate if this person is trustworthy and really a friend to you.
I'm a cat lover and her leaving her animal in that situation is absolutely disgusting. You handled it amazingly and it was completely unreasonable for her to LIE to you in order to get free extended pet sitting. You showed more care for those animals in taking them to the kitty hotel, than she did leaving them in those conditions. NTA
NTA and it's somewhat ironic that you, a non-animal lover, did a better job of seeing to the needs of this poor cat than its owner.
Even if you loved cats that was a dick move your friend did.
You're completely in the right. NTA.
Also, I wouldn't be friends with someone who treats a cat like she did: keeping it in those conditions, and abandoning it to force someone else's hand into paying for its care. She shouldn't have a pet. And you say other cat loving friends of yours are taking her side?!
The statement “the cat lovers don’t understand why I wouldn’t want this opportunity” makes me feel like this world isn’t worth saving. NTA
NTA. I'm not a cat person either, but I would also make sure they're cared for, which is what you did here. You didn't take them away from her forever (even though she would deserve it), you just set healthy boundaries for yourself and did what's best for the animals. Don't listen to cat people, they're all a little bit crazy from toxoplasmosis parasites living in their brain.
I have five cats. I have a litter box for each cat and those litter boxes are all cleaned at least twice a day.
I have water bowls in multiple rooms, dry food the can free eat, and they get wet food twice a day.
Whenever I have left my cats, I have paid someone $20-40 *per day* to visit my home just to clean the litter boxes and feed them twice a day.
You’re NTA. But your friend is horrible cat owner and probably shouldn’t own pets.
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I don't like animals. I know that probably makes me an arsehole in many people's eyes, but I just don't. I particularly don't like domestic cats, especially if they're allowed to roam around outside. That said, animals are living things and I wouldn't deliberately harm one. My friend group knows my stance.
I've been asked to animal sit in emergencies before and have been happy to do it to help people out of a tight spot. I do the best I can with limited knowledge. It's always been for a day or two at most.
Last week I got a phone call from a friend asking me to mind her cat for a day or two as she had something she needed to do urgently. I agreed and went over to her house after work to do cat things.
The litter tray was full. There was cat poo on the floor. There was no food in the house and no water in the bowl. The stench as I entered made me retch.
I looked around and couldn't find anything cat related, so I called my friend. She said she hadn't had time to buy anything and could I go to the shops. I asked her when she would be back. She hedged around it a bit and finally told me she was camping with her boyfriend and wouldn't be back for at least two weeks. I gave it some water and defrosted some mince I found in the freezer so it wouldn't starve.
I told her that I wouldn't look after her cat for that long. She said there was no one else. So I did some research, found a reputable boarding kennel and sent her the details. It was $37 a day. I had her send me her credit card details and dropped the cat off the next morning. She came back two days later and was angry with me because I could have done this one thing for her and she had to cut her trip short because she didn't have the money to pay the boarding fees.
I told her I would never have agreed to mind her cat in the first place, and I thought the conditions she left it in were disgraceful.
She snapped that I had no idea what I was talking about because my heart was black and empty because I don't like animals. I laughed and told her a truly evil person would have dumped her cat at the pound.
Our friend group is divided. The cat lovers don't understand how I wouldn't want this opportunity. Others think I was completely in the right.
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NTA. The friends on her side don't know or don't believe the condition she left them in.
For us Americans, op used ground beef (beef mince) from the freezer to feed the poor cat since the owner left no kibble.
I love cats. Their my favorite animal but you're NTA. You didn't agree to two weeks you agreed to two days and it's not fair to you that your "friend" lied to manipulate you into something you did not agree too.
NTA. 1 or 2 days is not the same as 2 weeks. she tried to trick you. she intentionally lied about how long she needed you to watch her cats and hoped you would continue to do it.
You were completely in the right. You offered to catsit in an emergency for two days, not during a vacation.
Your friend is a terrible pet owner and you shouldn’t keep her as a friend if she’s willing to trick you like this.
NTA. Responsible cat owners leave plenty of food, cat litter, treats and toys for the cat in plain sight for the cat sitters to use. If you cannot afford cat food, you cannot afford a vacation.
What she did was unacceptable and untruthful. Not only was it not an emergency but it was originally for much longer than you were initially told.... worse she didn't even prepare the place for you (Aka clean litter before she left, food in the house). You did the right thing. She's a bad owner.
I'm a cat lover and *I* wouldn't put up with this bulls*it....
Catlover here and you are 100% NTA, she should have asked before and tell you how much time she would be out, also if someone ask you to look after their pet they should have left you the food and a clean litter box!
I'm a full cat lover and I think you're NTA.
She was absolutely irresponsible with her cat and you tried to do the best for the cat wellbeing
NTA, I’m a cat lover and think you are in the right. Also, she lied to you about how long she would be gone, and expected you to purchase things and do a lot of cleaning. Ask the people who think it was such a grand opportunity why they didn’t volunteer.
NTA. I’m a HUGE animal lover (currently have 16 in my house) but everyone is different. Your friend knew you don’t like animals, asked you to watch for 1/2 days and then only after she had left she informed you you’d need to pay for the cats stuff for 2 weeks while she was having a holiday with her boyfriend?? Doesn’t sound like an emergency to me
I’d ditch her immediately. She knew EXACTLY what she was doing and just assumed you’d just do as she wanted.
I’m a major cat person and you soooo NTA. You have no obligation to watch anyone’s animals regardless if you like them or not. And your “friend” should be held accountable for her actions. Frankly I would have taken her cats and ran if I had found them in conditions like that. Those poor babies.
NTA I don’t think she is actually an animal lover to have left her cat in those conditions and not arrange adequate care. Two whole weeks?? I fret when I leave my cat for two days and that’s with him being visited multiple times by people. If it’s any more than that he goes to a resort for pets where he gets cuddles and everything. That is what an animal lover does for their pet.
NTA, that's just... something you don't do. I don't understand all the people that think they can just lie about things involving their pets and kids lives. If she wanted her cat taken care of she should have asked someone that actually likes cats? or at least someone that would be ok with watching them.
The additional burn of their being no food and a full litterbox with cat poop on the floor makes it even worse, she sounds like she shouldn't have a cat.
NTA- I’m a cat lover and you arrange stuff like this way ahead of time not just spring it on you last minute
Cat lover here: NTA!!!
She neither cared for nor provided for her cat, and lied about the terms of the arrangement. You did what was best for the cat. I also agree with those saying you should report her for animal neglect. Who knows how long that cat had a dirty litter box and how long it had gone without food. Poor baby.
NTA for not liking animals, everyone had preferences. Secondly NTA for sending them to a boarding kennel. Your friend is a giant AH for leaving her cat in filthy conditions, presumably for days prior to calling you, and equally TA for misleading you for how long it is for. She doesn't deserve to own a pet rock. I'm beyond fuming at her behaviour .
Definitely NTA. Agree with reporting to animal welfare. No honest and loving animal owner would leave their pet in that state. Also they weren't honest about the length of the care needed, knowing your feelings towards pets.
You did the right thing.
NTA I love cats and I can't imagine cleaning up an overfilled litter box. She was a lazy person wanting to avoid cat responsibility and buying her own cat food.
1. You made sure the cat was safe and looked after the owner didn't even clean up after the cat or made sure it had everything it needed or gave it food and water before going on her "emergency" vacation. Did you take photos of the mess left for you to clean up?
2. Your friends who are criticising you are not true cat lovers as they weren't willing to help look after the cat when they "love cats" resulting in you who doesn't like cats stepping up and doing what was right.
3. Never help the bad cat owner with her emergency pet siting again volunteer the friends who disagreed with your actions instead.
NTA a truly evil person leaves their animals in filth and without food. Should have taken photos and reported her ass.
You absolutely did the best thing for the cat. Honestly you took better care of that cat than your friend! She should never have just left it like that with no food and a full litter box.
I have a cat. He is my ENTIRE world. Your friend, OP, neglected this cat. Its probably better looked after by you/boarding than the owner. You should have called your local animal protection services, and the cops as that is animal abuse. That poor kitty in those conditons. NTA, I wouldnt want to go house sit my friends pets and walk into poop on the floor and no food to feed it. I'm looking after the animal, not owning the animal and so provisions shouldve been there. You couldve brought the wrong food it eats and made it sick! As much as you arent fond of animals please help this kitty to get away from this neglectful owner. 2 days is also completly different to 14 days.
NTA. All of this is ridiculous, and if your friends can't understand, they're assholes, too.
NTA. And I am a total cat person.
When I travel my brother cat sits. I leave litter freshly changed. More than enough food for kitty. Food for my brother. I also give him money and bring him back presents. Oh and I am truthful about where I am, leave contact info, and he knows exactlt how many days I will be away.
Your "friend" sounds awful. Poor cat.
NTA!!! You DID NOT agree to care for neglected cat for two weeks. You did not agree to walk in on filth and stench from irresponsible owner.
NTA. Sounds like you like animals more than your friend. Someone who cares for their cat would never leave it in such conditions.
NTA. And I love cats. If the "cat lovers" in your friend group don't understand how messed up your friend's actions were - she had time to prepare for 2 weeks camping but not to feed and adequately care for her cat - I worry about their pets too.
THERE ARE CAT LOVERS IN YOUR FRIEND GROUP? Why the hell did she ask you then?!
NTA. Tell the cat lovers what conditions she keeps her cats in. I get that cats generally prefer staying in their own house if you can get a sitter, but given the conditions you described I think a kennel was better for their welfare.
I LOVE animals. Earlier this month I watched 3 cats & 3 dogs for a week. That house was in not condition for the proper care of a cat. They often go outside their box of it isn't clean.
And she had no food or clean litter. She's not a good pet owner.
Uhm, she lied to you and sounds like a crappy owner (pub not intended but true).
a boarding fee sucks but guess she should have made actual arrangements for the cat?
Most cats are pretty self sustainable for a day or too.
oh and cats are my favorite animal of all time sooo... yeah.
a dirty litter box can cause UTIs and kidney infections especially if it's chronic. now once or twice not as bad but if that's the condition she left it to for a sitter i can't imagine the normal condition
> The cat lovers don't understand how I wouldn't want this opportunity.
tell the cat lovers about the state of the house, the lack of food and water. If they stll think YTA then they ar enot cat lovers, just a piss poor excuse of a pet owner.
NTA- I am a cat lover. To the extreme. I can't foster because I get too attached. You did the right thing. Frankly, the cat would be better off with a different owner entirely. You should never have been in that position. And neither should her poor cat.
NTA, at all. Why the cat lovers didn't take cats then? You should be the last person in the friend group to be asked to take care of cats, honestly.
NTA. I love cats and what she did is horribly.
NTA! I love cats but they are definitely not for everyone. It really does sound like your friend forgot about her cat for a while or she just generally neglects it which is also bad. You have no obligation to watch animals for so long when it's well known you don't do that and certainly no obligation to spend your money to feed an animal that's not yours. I definitely would report her for animal neglect or abuse.
NTA. The "cat lovers" in your friend group clearly do not actually love cats if they think you're being an AH. You did the right thing. The conditions you witnessed as you entered the home suggest she's left the cat there alone for more than just a day already.
Your friend is an irresponsible owner and shouldn't even have a cat in the first place if this is how little she respects and cares for it.
As a cat lover NTA. She left her cat in appalling conditions and tried to lie to you to foist the car off onto you for TWO WEEKS. I would’ve reported her for neglecting her cat
I have a cat, i love him to pieces even though he's a bit of a dick.
Still, you are NTA. She is an awful pet owner. You do not go on holiday and then sort ot these arrangements afterwards, you find someone in advance!
A used litter tray like that and no food or eater? How long had she been on holiday before she realised she's gotta get someone to look after her cat??
I would have taken photos and reported her. She shouldn't have pets
NTA! This coming from an animal lover. Not only did she lie to you she left the cat in terrible condition. She doesn't need to have pets from what you said .
I am a cat lover, you were in the right. The conditions this person left her cat in were completely abhorent, and you agreed to cat sit you didn't agree to buy food for the cat for 2 gorram weeks
Also, I bet this "froend" lied to the cat lovers about the situation. Tell them about the state you found the cat in
As a cat owner myself I wouldn't force anyone who doesn't like pets to mind my cat or any animal I have or own.
The fact that your friend group is divided on this makes it even worse. They know your stance on looking after animals and have respected that but the fact that this particular friend deceived you into looking after their cat for 2 weeks is unacceptable. She should be held accountable for her actions.
NTA OP however your friend who deceived you is a giant AH
NTA, honestly, you know your boundaries and are clear with the friend group. The fact that you will step up in an emergency and provide basic short term care for pets for your friends is a wonderful thing to do for your friends. This friend took advantage of that.
As a pet owner I respect you. I also do not respect cat's owner at all. No food? Over flowing cat box? That's not an animal lover, that's someone who doesn't know how/doesn't want to take care of the living breathing creature a cat is.
NTA. Im an animal lover and rescue cats and dogs on a regular basis. Your friend on the other hand is not an animal lover at all. And i would never judge you for not loving animals, but your friend is a huge arsehole. Anyone that loves animals will never leave their pet starving and in such a condition and for 2 weeks? Then ask someome, you know very well arwnt fond of animals to look after their pet? Id have made a formal complaint.
NTA It's bad enough that she lied to rope you into something because she knew you wouldn't agree to do it, but she did put her cat's welfare in danger by not changing the box of leaving food. It's an AH move to lie, push boundaries, gaslight you about her lies. Also, why do people lie about things they know are going to be found out? Wild.