By - throwawayaccmeow
You need to understand she’s not doing all of this for attention but because she’s comfortable doing this. And the guys who are jerking off to her are the real problem because they sexualised her.
So men are pigs?
This issue can’t be addressed so easily because it’s years of conditioning that allows men to sexualize women and feel like it’s normal.
I mean it is a normal natural men reflex = men are attracted to revealed women
Hi. I enjoy Billie’s music as well. She’s one of my favorites. The best way to stop is to understand that what a woman chooses to do with her body is her own business and it does not affect her value as a person. Billie does not become a whore because her boobs exist and guys decide to jerk off to her photos. I promise you that if a guy is attracted to a woman he can and will sexualize a woman’s body no matter if she is fully covered or uncovered. You’re young and hopefully as you age you’ll gain a better understanding of how damaging respectability politics are to marginalized communities including women.
P.S. If you haven’t watched her documentary (Billie Eilish: The World’s A Little Blurry) you should check it out. It was pretty good.
I have watched her documentary
Here’s the thing - no matter what, guys will be creepy. There is no “asking for it” or “whoring yourself off” because those creepy Reddit guys will jerk off to any and everything no matter how many clothes someone wears. Hell, there’s a fetish subreddit for all kind of things that don’t involve being naked.
You are young enough where it feels absolutely creepy to have grown men sexualizing you - and rightly so - so you project your own discomfort as blaming her for being “gross” or “slutty”
You will grow into an adult woman and you’ll be able to feel more confident about yourself - it comes with time and practice. Having body confidence is a good thing and the reality is that women dress for themselves and how it makes them feel - not for how it makes men feel.
Think about the women who are obsessed with makeup - the YouTube videos of makeup hauls, a thousand layers of product and it looks really cool. They put hours into it and make it into a hobby because they enjoy doing it and how it looks. Guys who claim they hate makeup on women often comment on a woman who indeed has a ton of makeup on but it’s presented in a way that is supposed to be “natural” and often if they compare to non-makeup photos they say the girl is “frumpy” and “lazy” so there’s really no winning in that regard.
Right now, you’re probably still in high school and stuck with the patriarchal rules about no shorts that are too short and no tank tops/bra straps showing because DISTRACTION for the BOYS. It’s frustrating but it’s what you’ve likely heard forever so it takes some effort to overcome the oppressive thinking. Men can control themselves but they still feel the need to control what women do/think/wear.
The other part of it is - Billie was pigeonholed into a specific style because that’s what sold her as a star. The music industry executives treat talent as a marketable good so the brand needs to be consistent. It gets old and boring and frustrating fast and it’s fun to experiment with a new style. So she might be going a bit overboard at the moment, but it’ll likely calm down in a bit.
I have a question, does having body confidence means I have to dress more revealing? Or dress something that I feel comfortable?
It means that you should wear what makes you happy and comfortable. You can be completely covered up if that’s what makes you happy. If cute little sundresses make you happy, then go for it. A short skirt says nothing about your virtue or morals or self worth.
It’s about dressing for how it makes you feel, not for how men will feel about it.
Something about her and her music has always struck a chord with you. She always used to be all covered in hoodies and sweats and whatnot. Now she has stepped out into a new, more confident her self which feels weird and different, because it is.
That does not make it wrong or right, just different and different feels uncomfortable sometimes. She likely has more confidence in her self and her body because millions of people affirm her every day now. That is bound to overtime have an effect on how you view yourself.
Feel happy for her, as I am sure she has been able to shed some of the insecurities that we all carry and I think the evidence of that is what you see. She is young and has a new view of herself now and she is exploring that.
In the grand scheme of what seems acceptable in pop music promotion these days Billie's Vogue shoot was absolutely tasteful. It may have been a departure for her (possibly because she was underage when her career began). But when juxtaposed against what a lot of other artists have done IMHO it just wasn't that scandalous. Of course some guys wanted to talk about jerking off to it, some guys are probably jerking off to any and every celebrity. At any rate, it may help you to separate the music from that one particular magazine piece. It's not like she's made a ton more of those and is claiming that image as her new normal. The most interesting artists will change and reboot their look periodically as that's the only way to stay relevant. So look forward to seeing Cardi B dressed as a nun pretty soon, LOL
Cardi B as a nun would be funny lol
If you were comfortable in your own body, you would be less triggered by other people.
So I have body issues then? I don’t think I do though…
Why do you care about the way she presents her body then?
I don’t know tbh
Some guys will jerk off to a shapely ham sandwich. What she's doing has nothing to do with them. Her posting pictures that she likes of herself and you calling it "whoring herself off" is indeed slut shaming and says much more about you and your mindset than it does about her.
Try to stop seeing women's bodies as inherently sexual. Both men and women have breasts, and their biological function isn't anything to do with sex, and yet only women are shamed for not covering theirs to the standards of others.
I don't really think Elish being comfortable with herself or sexual amounts to her "whoring herself out." That's some puritanical bullshit.
How you can stop doing it? Not sure. Reexamine your belief system, I guess.
Women aren't whores because men are objectifying them, basically.
Thanks, maybe I feel this way because I live in a Catholic household
Yep - there's the stuff right there.
Look, sex is part of life, and one of the best parts.
I grew up ultra conservative Christian, and I felt the same way for many years, and I've changed my outlook and I'll never look back.
Christian religions have a distinct way of sort of... Demonizing women for what men do, you know what I mean?
We'd live in a really boring world of floor length denim skirts to make sure men don't have "impure thoughts" if they had their way.
Yeah sometimes I feel wrong thinking about sex and other stuff like that.
Yep.. felt guilty about it forever. Christianity tries to demonize a very central part of the human experience.
I'm not sure why exactly.. I have to assume it is some kind of control structure thing.
Humans are not 'naturally' monogamous or non-sexual, and why Christianity exactly aims to paint sex as sinful is beyond me. I'm sure I could look into it.
Thanks my parents doesn’t talk about sex at all to me haha
Sorry for the late reply, but isn’t the saying “God is always watching you.” is weird? Like God is watching me masturbate and I just feel paranoid about it. Or thinking that my dead relatives are watching me.
Think about just how strange the statement is, too.
So... God is supposedly omniscient. He knows the past, present, and future. He knew exactly when, where, and how you were going to masturbate when he MADE you.. why the heck would he need to watch you? It's a done deal. He's known the details since.. forever, right?
Then the dead relatives thing..
Not sure where in the Bible it ever states that your dead relatives are:
A. Omniscient and all seeing
B. Human in any way
C. Watching you
So, why would your dead relatives, living in heavily bliss, be WATCHING you masturbate? I mean are they even sexual?? They've supposed ascended to a higher form of being.. why would they want to sit around in Heaven, spying on you, while you do something they did 1,000s of times themselves??
The Bible doesn't even talk about masturbating, much less forbid it.
This is 100% a control mechanism, based on nothing
. Like.. nothing at all.
There is NO good reason that people shouldn't masturbate, and even less of a reason that God would be watching a billion people masturbating at the same time. This is vilification of sexual acts by the Church, and I have no idea to what end.
Yeah that’s true, my mom always say that my grandparents are watching me. But right now I think they’re probably chilling in heaven or something. Lol
Yeah... They're not watching you masturbate.
I really disliked being forced into Christianity. It was so.. stunting, in terms of stuff like this.
Good for you for noticing, because I doubt most do.
When she was underage, she managed to build up quite a large fan base among teenagers because they found her relatable, and then once she turned 18, although she probably didn't do it willingly, she started promoting a different kind of behavior. The same thing happened with Miley Cyrus.
Now, to what end? Why would anyone want thousands of girls/young women to emulate her? Just something to think about.